Chapter 25
Shannon's P.O.V:
I texted Conor as I walked to class. Bit by bit over the last couple of days, I'd told him everything that was going on with me and Lee and Nick and everything in between - both good and bad. He was an objective third party and was exactly what I needed. He'd always listened to me and given advice but had supported me no matter what I chose. He hadn't yet been able to give me anything other than his sympathies for the drama that was my life.
I was knocked back to awareness - literally - when I walked into a guy carrying an easel under one arm. I muttered an apology as I quickly side-stepped him.
I walked briskly the rest of the way to the building I was headed for - it was sunny but there was no warmth to it and there was a cold wind. Entering the building, I breathed a sigh of relief at the warmth that enveloped me. I breathed in the familiar smells with a smile as I walked through the door of Ms. Martin's class.
Everybody else was already seated and Ms. Martin was about to begin. "Good of you to join us, Ms. Doherty."
I smiled quickly at her as I hurried to my seat beside Natalie, weaving around tables as quickly and as quietly as I could. Nat didn't look up as I sat down, dropping my bag beside me, she just continued to doodle idly on the page in front of her.
"Hey, how are you?" I asked quietly as I got my stuff out.
Ms. Martin started to speak but I didn't listen, just stared at Natalie who still hadn't looked up from her desk. I felt my phone vibrate in my lap - no doubt a response from Conor - but I ignored it. "Nat?"
Eventually she raised her head and I recoiled slightly at the anger in her eyes. "I'm fine" she hissed, "but I can't say the same for Lee; he's absolutely distraught because you broke up with him." She glared at me accusingly.
"Nat it's not how it seems."
"Save it Shannon, I told you not to hurt him but you clearly didn't listen did you?"
It hurt to have her angry with me - a lot - especially since she hadn't waited to hear my side of the story. "I never wanted to hurt him Nat." I tried to let the truth of the statement show in my eyes and voice but I don't think she saw. "But you should have heard the things he said to me and what he said about Nick and Mark" I continued.
"You never gave him a chance! You were together for four freaking days and don't talk to me about Nick, I saw you two together, I saw the way you acted, and Lee told me he walked in on you cheating on him with Nick and then you broke up with him, even though he was willing to forgive you!" Anger flashed in her eyes and I sat for a moment, dumb with shock as tears welled up in my eyes.
How could she actually believe that I'd cheat on Lee? "You believed him?" I asked eventually, my voice incredulous.
She shook her head slowly. "I wouldn't have, I thought better of you but as I said, I saw the way the two of you acted around each other, how you jumped apart as soon as I walked into the room" her voice was bitter.
"Look at least let me explain my side of the story" I pleaded.
"Lee wouldn't lie to me."
"And I would?" I was angry now, she was supposed to be my best friend and she wouldn't even listen to what I had to say.
"I don't know anymore" she said sadly and with that she produced an iPod out of her bag and turned it on to top volume - I could clearly hear the song she was listening to.
I had to struggle not to let the tears in my eyes fall. My eyes blurred, I gathered up my things, abruptly standing up and heading for the door. Ms. Martin raised an eyebrow at me as I passed by her desk.
"I don't feel well" I answered her silent query but I could tell from her expression that she didn't believe me. I didn't care.
Tears spilled over in a continuous stream as I closed the classroom door behind me - Natalie hadn't looked up once as I left. Wandering back outside, I found a big tree to sit under on a wide green lawn not far from the block of classrooms I'd just exited. The grass was still wet from the morning dew but I didn't care. One of the few brown leaves left on the branches above me fell onto my lap. I picked it up and twirled it absently in my fingers.
My mind ran over what Natalie had said as hot, salty tears left silvery tracks down my face. I looked to find that I'd shredded the leaf into tiny pieces which were quickly blown off my lap to spiral away on the wind.
I took out my sketchpad and my ever present piece of charcoal. I started to draw. Like when I was drawing in my room on Monday, I didn't pay attention to what I was drawing - I didn't care... couldn't care - I just let my hand move across the page.
Each stroke of the charcoal against the paper and each squeak it made as I shaded helped to soothe me. Sadly, it wasn't enough; I couldn't get the image of Natalie's face out of my head. Her anger, her disgust was imprinted on my mind like the after image of a flash of bright light.
Eventually I stopped, whether because I'd finished my picture or because I'd given up I didn't know. I'd stopped crying but my cheeks were still wet from my tears. I sat with my head bowed; listening to the wind in the branches and the distant sounds of people walking across campus and even further away the sounds of sirens and car horns coming from the streets of London.
Suddenly, I was covered in darkness as a shadow loomed over me. I'd been so focused on the far away noise of the city that I hadn't heard footsteps approaching. Looking up, I saw a tall figure in a dark hoodie towering over me. The hood was up, casting the person's face in shadow.
Though I couldn't see the person's face, I immediately knew who it was. It wasn't until he stepped forward that Nick's familiar face became visible. My happiness at seeing him overwhelmed me - he always seemed to appear when I needed him most.
"What's wrong Sweetheart?" he asked gently, his voice full of concern for me.
I realised I must look like a state but I didn't care. I let his deep voice wash over me, resonating deep inside me and calming me much more effectively than drawing had. Any other day, this thought would have caused me to stop in shock. For as long as I could remember, art was my personal form of escapism. If I was sad or angry or just needed to be alone, I'd take out a piece of paper and a pencil and I'd just draw whatever came to mind and everything would be okay...now it was this guy standing in front of me with worried eyes that had calmed me, not art.
My happiness at seeing Nick however, pushed all thoughts from my mind except for the image of those beautiful brown eyes with green and gold flecks.
"Everything" I finally replied. My voice sounded hoarse from crying.
I finally glanced down at my sketchpad and was dismayed by what I saw. In the centre of the page stood a tree, identical to the one at my back, its canopy of branches taking up the majority of the background. In front of the tree sat a girl leaning back against the trunk exactly as I was. She was wearing a white Victorian style dress and her eyes were closed. Her voluminous skirts billowed slightly as if ruffled by an unseen breeze and the peaceful look on her face made her look like she was sleeping except for the dark stain covering the front of her dress.
Even though it was done in charcoal, I could tell that it was blood. It was the same girl that I'd drawn earlier in the week looking out a window at a barren landscape. It depressed me that I drew such a macabre picture. There were obvious tear splotches staining parts of the picture, adding to its morbidity.
I slipped my sketchpad into my bag, hoping Nick wouldn't see, but when I looked back at him I could tell he had by the worried look on his face. Thankfully, he didn't say anything.
"Come on" he said extending his hand to help me up, "you need to get inside, you're shivering and the ground is wet."
When I stood before him, he rubbed his hands up and down my arms trying to warm me. It was only then that I realised that I was indeed shivering and I was cold and wet from sitting on the ground for so long.
"Your skins like ice!" he said disapprovingly. He quickly pulled off his hoodie and handed it to me. I tried to refuse but he insisted, "You need it more than me and besides" he joked, "I'm hard, so I don't feel the cold."
I couldn't help the small smile that appeared on my face.
"That's my girl" he said affectionately, grinning at me when he saw my smile.
I found that those words warmed me much better than his hoodie but I threw it on anyway for added measure.
Slinging his arm over my shoulders he started to guide me towards the main gates of the college. One of the things I loved about him was that he didn't push for information. He knew I'd tell him when I was ready.
"Where are we going?" I asked as I wrapped my arm around his waist in an exact replication of the night he'd walked me home from dinner.
"You'll just have to wait and see" he grinned mischievously, "I know exactly what you need."
As we walked, I noticed we were getting stared at a lot. I just wasn't sure whether it was because of my appearance - big red, puffy eyes with charcoal covering my hands and probably my face and wearing Nick's hoodie which was far too big - or because of how Nick and I were walking with our arms wrapped around each other. I sighed, it was probably both, I knew Nick had a reputation on campus and was well known.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw him throwing worried glances at me, his grin long gone. The most I could manage was a weak smile. Thinking about Nick's reputation had upset me all over again when I remembered that it had been Natalie who'd told me about it in the first place, after she found out he was my roommate.
After walking for almost ten minutes in silence, Nick finally led me into a tiny little teashop, hidden down a narrow street. I was grateful for the warmth inside and the fact that the place was practically empty. The smell of tea and cake made my mouth water as we sat down.
When he saw my expression, Nick snorted. "You are so predictable" he announced, grinning.
I just scowled in return.
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Hmmm....
That's all I have to say! =D
Kaz xoxo