The Angel's Ambivalence [Naruto]

TAA Special: Gotta See, Gotta Know! Kakashi-sensei's True Face!

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hey...you wanna see it, don't 'ya?"

And there we have it, friends. The simple, seven-worded question that began what was probably the most stressful, anxiety-inducing, and completely ridiculous day of my life as a member of Team 7.

Now, before I continue on, I would just like to let it be known that I didn't ask for any of this. In fact, if we're being completely honest, the question "you wanna see it, don't ya?" is actually number three on the list of questions that I had hoped never to be asked in my lifetime.

The second being "how do you balance this equation?" because chemistry is the worst and gives me nightmares, and the first being "want to share this chocolate chip cookie?" because I have never in my life willingly shared chocolate chip cookies with anyone and would definitely not be starting today, because chocolate chip cookies are just too important to me, in case you were wondering.

You'd think someone as curious as me would play along anyway, but that wasn't the case this time. Granted, in this situation I had no idea what "it" was, but the creepy way Naruto said it made me completely positive that I didn't want to see it, or even go near it, for that matter, whatever "it" was. I mean, seriously, what was up with his voice? Why did he sound like Spongebob did when he asked, 'you like krabby patties, don't you, Squidward?' I didn't even know Naruto could make that voice, and quite frankly, it was kind of terrifying.

And even if he didn't sound like a total creep, after spending most of the day on a mission outside the village with my team, I was exhausted and in dire need of some sleep. The only thing I wanted to see right now was the back of my eyelids for the next four to six hours as I took a highly anticipated and much-needed cat-nap, pun intended.

Naruto, apparently, had no consideration for my naptime plans, because he just contined to wiggle his eyebrows impishly. "I'd say it's time."

"For what?" Sasuke asked, mirroring the completely weirded out expression on my face and Sakura's, which should've been a dead giveaway of all the nonsense that was to come, considering the fact that three of us were rarely ever on the same page about anything.

"Come on, you know what I'm talking about." Naruto clicked his tongue as if the answer should've been obvious to us, grinning and rubbing his hands together diabolically as he took a dramatic pause. "Kakashi-sensei's...Real face!"

Sakura let out a startled shriek as Naruto got super close to her face and leered at her. He was holding a flashlight that I to this day still have no idea where he got from up to his face, making him look a thousand times creepier. Her fist lashed out of its own accord and hit him on the head, knocking him to the floor in an instant.

"What's the matter with you?!" she barked, placing her hands on her hips while Naruto groaned in pain from his newfound position on the floor, the flashlight he'd once had mysteriously gone from view.

I sighed and reached my hand out, helping my blond best friend up from the floor. "Kakashi-sensei's real face?" I repeated boredly, stifling a yawn as I squinted at him. "That's what you want me to skip my nap for?"

"You know," he said thoughtfully, "there is more to life than just napping, Minx."

I gasped in an offended manner, placing a hand over my heart in shock. "You take that back, you blasphemer!"

"All right, all right! Jeez!" He put his hands up in surrender. "I'm just saying! Do you really want to sleep away the rest of the day?"

"Uh, yes, exactly, because sleep is on the list of things that are more precious to me than people, right up there with food," I replied bluntly, making him hit his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Now, if you'll excuse me, my bed is waiting for me, and I don't plan on making it wait any longer. It gets jealous, you know." I smiled at my teammates around me and waved goodbye. "Later, guys."

I started walking in the direction of my house, but my blond best friend was quick to intercept my path, preventing me from walking any further. He puffed out his bottom lip in a pout, but I just continued to look at him, unmoved, and crossed my arms over my chest. When he realized it wasn't working, he resorted to drastic measures: his best pair of puppy dog eyes.

That, of course, immediately made me groan in annoyance. I could handle his pout no problem –usually he was only able to keep it up for a few minutes before I made him laugh, anyway– but his puppy dog eyes? I was totally defenseless against those, and he knew it, too, which explained why he was breaking them out right now.

Do you have any idea how many times I'd ended up giving into his wishes and having to eat ramen whenever we hung out for what was probably the billionth time in a row, just because he'd brought those wistful blue puppy dog eyes out? A lot, and I mean a lot. Like an embarrassing number of times a lot.

I supposed the fact that he was using them to his advantage right now meant that he really wanted to find out what Kakashi-sensei's face looked like. Well, either that, or he was just super bored, and this was the first thing he could come up with. You could never really tell with him.

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun, Minx!" the Uzumaki insisted brightly. "Just think about it! You love doing stuff like this! Plus, you can't tell me that you of all people aren't at least a little bit curious about what he looks like underneath that mask, believe it!"

"Hm...okay, so maybe I am just a tiny bit curious about it," I admitted, tapping my chin thoughtfully as I mulled it over. Eventually, I let out a slightly begrudging sigh and shrugged. "...All right, I suppose I can make an exception and postpone naptime, just this once."

At my response, Naruto let out a shout of victory, punching his fists in the air excitedly and jumping for joy. I shook my head, but I couldn't help but smile at his reaction. His energy really was something else.

"But you owe me cookies for this, blond," I added seriously, poking his chest lightly with my extended finger.

He nodded and saluted at me. "You've got yourself a deal, brunette!"

We locked pinkies, effortlessly transitioning into our not-at-all secret but still exclusively best friend handshake, reserved especially for deals and promises of all sorts. We parted in a fist bump and shared a grin before returning our attention to our two teammates, who as per usual were completely done with us.

I, however, was now too excited by the possibility of actually catching a glimpse of our sensei's face to pay attention. "This is gonna be great! Not only am I getting cookies, but I'm also getting a chance to test out the codenames I thought up for us! Finally!"

"See, that's what I'm talking about!" Naruto exclaimed, shooting me a grin and thumbs up. He turned towards Sakura and Sasuke, raising an eyebrow at them questioningly. "Well? Are you two in or what?"

"Please, this is lame." Sasuke scoffed and turned his back to us, shoving his hands into his pockets coolly. "You can count me out. We finished today's mission, I'm out of here."

"Yeah, you're totally right!" Sakura was quick to call after him in agreement, but the way her smile twitched reassured me that she was just as curious about our sensei's real face as Naruto and I were. She just needed a little extra push, and so did our resident grumpy Uchiha, apparently, though that wasn't much of a surprise. He always was allergic to fun.

Naruto was scowling at Sasuke as he walked away, until he grinned to himself as he got an idea. Curious, I raised an eyebrow and watched him cup a hand around his mouth in a conspiratorial whisper.

"What if he has lips...like a blimp?"

The Uchiha stopped dead in his tracks, his entire body freezing in the wake of Naruto's words. Seeing his reaction, the blond and I nudged each other and snickered together, unable to keep it in. Seriously, as much as I adored my dark-haired boyfriend, he made it way too easy to mess with him, because as much as he liked to pretend otherwise, he was as big of a troublemaker as the rest of us. Why else do you think we worked so well as a team?

"Or maybe...buck teeth?"

And that was the final push he needed. In no time at all, Sasuke was turning on his heel and walking back towards us, pretending to be above it all, but we all knew the truth: he was itching to know what Kakashi-sensei looked like underneath his mask, too.

"...Fine, whatever." The Uchiha huffed and scowled off to the side, trying to be indifferent about it, but the embarrassed blush on his cheeks gave him away. "But I'm not going by any codenames."

"Nope, too late," I informed him easily, popping the 'p' and looping my arm through his with a bright smile. "Your codename is Blue Hawk, and there's nothing you can do about it."

He rolled his eyes, but he didn't pose any further argument, probably because he knew it would be pointless. Satisfied, I beamed at him before shifting my attention to Sakura. "Well, S? What's it gonna be?"

"Well, if you managed to get Sasuke to agree..." The pinkette hummed to herself, pretending to think about it, even though we all knew she'd been on board from the beginning. "...All right, fine. I'm in."

"Awesome! Now, that's what I'm talking about!" Naruto cheered, raising his hand towards Sakura for a high five. "Up top, Sakura!"

The pink-haired kunoichi rolled her eyes and ignored him, making the blond Uzumaki sweatdrop, his hand falling back to his side in a sudden onset of gloom. A tiny storm cloud appeared over his head as he muttered to himself underneath his breath.

I reached out to pat him on the shoulder comfortingly, before addressing the rest of my team. "Well, in that case, welcome to Operation: Expose that Lazy Face! Or, as I like to call it, Operation ELF."

"Really? Operation ELF?" Sakura repeated, raising an unconvinced eyebrow and shooting me an unimpressed look. "That's what we're going with?"

I scowled at her and placed my hands on my hips. "I don't see any of you coming up with any better ideas."

"How about Operation NMI?" Sasuke suggested, making me tilt my head at him in confusion. "For Naruto and Minxie are Idiots."

Sakura giggled, while Naruto and I gasped and let out indignant "hey's!," causing the Uchiha to smirk.

"So," the pinkette began, placing a hand on her hip, "how are we going to do this?"

"Yeah, we need a plan," Naruto agreed, nodding intently. "Something sneaky, something wild, something–"

"Something he won't see coming," Sasuke interrupted, making the Uzumaki scowl at him. "Any ideas?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I smiled mischievously at my teammates, while they all turned to look at me in confusion, raising their eyebrows. "Let's treat him to lunch."

~*~

It didn't take us long to track Kakashi-sensei down. We cornered him as he was exiting the Hokage Building, having just finished giving the Hokage a full report on Team 7's most recent completed mission. He was definitely surprised to see us, but when we brought up wanting to treat him to lunch, he was surprisingly agreeable, though definitely a little confused by it, which actually made me a little hurt.

I mean, really, he acted like it was so out of the ordinary that we would want to do something nice for him! Okay, sure, maybe we made fun of him a little (a lot), and maybe we could be a little smart-mouthed sometimes (always), and maybe Naruto and I did steal his infamous book and hide it in the most ridiculous places from time to time (usually every Wednesday), but jeez! It was all clearly out of love.

Anyway, we ended up at Ichiraku's, per Naruto's suggestion, of course. Sakura, Sasuke, and I hadn't really wanted to go there at first –probably because we were afraid Naruto's ramen obsession would take over and distract him from our plan– but the blond was persistent and stubborn, as usual. He insisted that Ichiraku's was perfect, since it was close by, big enough to seat all of us, but small enough to minimize the chances of anyone else getting in the way. The amazing ramen, of course, he added, was just a bonus.

Unable to come up with any other options, the three of us agreed, and now we were seated in a row at the ramen counter. Kakashi-sensei was on the stool at the far left, with Sasuke next to him, myself at Sasuke's right, Sakura in the seat next to mine, and Naruto beside her on the right, completing our formation.

In front of us sat a plate of grilled pork slices, courtesy of Teuchi's daughter Ayame, who had been so shocked by the idea of us kids not eating while we awaited our sensei's food that she'd taken it upon herself to treat us to something, on the house. The slices looked delicious, but they remained untouched, as my teammates and I were much more interested in watching our teacher, waiting anxiously for him to be served.

"Well, this is out of the ordinary," Kakashi-sensei began casually, as we waited for Teuchi to finish up his ramen. "The four of you treating me to lunch...I wouldn't be surprised if it snowed on me." He turned to look at us, raising an expectant eyebrow in our direction. "Now, just what are you four up to?"

The four of us were so caught off guard, we practically squeaked in unison, our faces paling as we panicked internally. After spending so much time with us, our sensei knew us well, almost too well, actually, and he was seeing right through us, which was exactly the opposite of what we needed right now.

Naruto was the first to react, albeit not very subtly. He laughed nervously and put a hand behind his head, rubbing at his neck with a smile on his face that was far too wide to be normal. "W-W-What, what are you, crazy?!"

"Come on," our silver-haired sensei continued, unimpressed, "you guys are up to something, right?"

"U-Up? What is this 'up' you speak of?" I inquired, feigning the best look of confusion I could manage at him. "Unless you're talking about standing up, in which case you have nothing to worry about. You know how much I hate standing up, sensei. It's exhausting and not nearly as fulfilling as laying down."

"Uh-huh." He eyed me suspiciously, clearly unconvinced. "And you're sure you don't have any ulterior motives I should know about?"

The disbelieving expression on his face sent me into a full-on panic mode, which, looking back now, I could've definitely handled better, if I had actually stopped to think out my response logically. As you all know, however, logic has never been my strong suit, why was why I instantly launched into a ramble, throwing subtlety out the window.

"What? No way, of course not!" I exclaimed, my voice about three octaves higher than it usually was, a consequence that was always sure to remind me how truly awful I was at lying, just in case I ever tried to forget. "Really, sensei, we're not up to anything! Especially nothing weird, like, I don't know, trying to see what's underneath your ma–"

With lightning fast reflexes, Sasuke picked up the plate of pork slices and shoved the entire thing into my face, effectively cutting off the rest of my sentence. You'd think that would've been like a dream for me, considering how much I adored food, but let me tell you right now: eating pork slices? Amazing. Having an entire plate of them slammed into your face at once, dish and all? So not amazing.

And if me practically choking to death on the pork slices wasn't bad enough, I could also feel my teammates glaring daggers into the back of my skull, like they were trying to set me on fire with their minds or something, which was just rude. I mean, sure, I almost spoiled the whole plan, but damn! I could barely breathe through the pork slices! Would it kill them to have a little bit of sympathy?! Plus, they knew I sucked at lying! So really, if you ask me, they should've seen this coming.

"Mandarins!" Naruto supplied quickly, trying to help by finishing my interrupted sentence. "She meant mandarins. Didn't you, Minxie?"

I finally managed to push Sasuke's arm down and get the plate away from my face. Though my mouth was currently filled with pork slices, I still made a point to look at the blond with an incredulous expression, silently asking him "what the hell," because what the hell?! Mandarins, as in mandarin oranges?! How on earth did mandarins make any sense?! In what world was "mandarins" a good, or at the very least, a believable way to finish my sentence?!

I mean, seriously, all Naruto ever ate was ramen! He probably barely even knew what mandarins looked like! And here he was, supplementing it into my sentence, anyway, because why would he ever want to make my life easier? It's not like we were best friends our anything. Sigh.

The Uzumaki clamped his hand over his mouth, as if he'd realized how horrible of a suggestion that was only after it'd left his mouth. When he caught me staring at him with an eye-twitch, he bit his lip and flashed me an apologetic smile, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. 'Sorry,' he mouthed to me, making me sigh.

Sakura was quick to take control of the situation. She sent a swift slap to the back of Naruto's head for good measure, making him wince, before turning to smile sweetly at Kakashi-sensei. She reached out to place a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it forcefully, silently commanding me to go along with it, except I had absolutely no clue as to how to do that.

I glanced at Sasuke for help, but he were pretty much useless, offering me nothing else except for a noncommittal shrug. I didn't have my Mind's Eyes activated, so I couldn't read his thoughts, but somehow I knew exactly what he was thinking, just by looking at his expression.

Don't look at me, his gaze seemed to say. This is your mess. You fix it.

I had no choice but to direct my gaze to Kakashi-sensei, who was sitting with his chin in his palm, patiently awaiting an explanation. I finished chewing and swallowed, before shooting him a nervous smile.

"Yeah...mandarins," I started, voice trailing off slowly. "Of course...that's what I meant..." I perked up as I got an idea, clasping my hands together and exclaiming brightly, "Mandarins!" The sudden outburst seemed to startle my sensei, but I just continued smiling. "I noticed them growing in your garden, and let me tell you, they look fabulous. And since they looked so great above-ground, I can only imagine they look just as good underneath the soil, too! Really, Kakashi-sensei, how do you keep your garden in such tip-top shape?"

"Pretty easily," Kakashi-sensei replied, "since I don't actually have a garden."

"...Oh." I laughed nervously and wiped my face free of any barbecue sauce. "Well, then, maybe you should consider investing in one. For the mandarins, of course."

For his part, the silver-haired jonin actually looked pretty amused by the whole thing. "I'll keep that in mind, Minxie."

I beamed at him and shot him thumbs up, though internally I was letting out a breath of relief, just as Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were beside me. We each wiped the imaginary beads of sweat from our foreheads, allowing our shoulders to finally relax.

Whew, we really dodged a bullet there.

"Are you sure you four aren't up to anything out of the ordinary?"

...on second thought, we didn't dodge anything. We just fooled ourselves into thinking that we did, when really the bullet just did a u-turn and hit us anyway because we suck at deception and might as well just give up now.

I was fully prepared to surrender and admit defeat, but thankfully, Sakura took the lead, sparing the rest of us –well, mainly me– from messing things up any further.

"Of course not!" she exclaimed, laughing nervously as she waved her hand dismissively at him. "Kakashi-sensei, please, you just got out of the hospital! Now, uh, please! Why don't you go ahead and eat?"

"Well, all right, then," Kakashi-sensei decided, grabbing a pair of chopsticks from the container on the counter. "I suppose I should just dig in."

"Thank you for waiting," said Teuchi with a smile, placing a bowl of fresh ramen in front of our sensei.

"The roasted pork is on us!" Ayame chirped warmly, while I tried not to have war flashbacks of getting an entire plateful of pork shoved into my face only a few moments earlier. Yup, that one was definitely going to be staying with me for a while.

Thanks a lot, Duck-Butt.

The next few seconds were some of the tensest moments of my life. Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and I watched Kakashi-sensei intently, following his every move. Everything seemed to occur in slow-motion, from the moment he split apart his chopsticks until, finally, he reached for his mask.

We held our breaths, watching anxiously. This was it. After all this time, we were finally going to see it. Finally, we would know what Kakashi-sensei's face looked like!

His hand reached the top of the cloth, and slowly his fingers grasped the fabric, just beginning to tug it down to reveal–

"Hey, Sasuke, what a coincidence!"

I screamed. I actually screamed in rage, Naruto and Sakura mimicking my reaction with distraught cries of their own, because suddenly we were no longer staring at our sensei but at the entirety of Team 10, minus Asuma-sensei. Ino had placed herself right on top of Sasuke and had an arm thrown around him, while Mitchell, Choji, and Shikamaru were smiling at us in greeting, completely blocking our view of Kakashi-sensei.

Now, throughout my life, I can safely say that I have never once actually felt a desire to murder another human being. I mean, sure, once upon a time I had almost killed Haku and Kabuto, but that had been under the influence of whatever murderous creature was sealed inside of me and the influence of Orochimaru's curse mark, respectively, so those times didn't count, in my opinion. But I swore, in that moment, I was ready to actively murder all of Team 10 for having what was in fact the absolute worst timing in history.

I literally felt myself go through all five stages of grief in the span of five seconds, and then I just lost it. I launched myself at them, inciting what was probably the most vicious and gruesome brawl that Ichiraku's had ever seen, my teammates jumping in right behind me.

"Get out of the way, Ino-pig!" Sakura hollered, as she and I tore the blonde away from Sasuke.

That left me to deal with Mitchell. I jumped on him, practically seething. "So help me, you purple-eyed mess, I will rip out your eyeballs and feed them to my leopards if you don't get out of my way!"

"AW, MAN!" Naruto whined loudly, somewhere midway all the fighting. "I can't see squat!"

"All done~"

Kakashi-sensei's voice made us all freeze. Instantly, we stopped fighting. Naruto and Sasuke were smiling nervously on either side of Choji, the Uzumaki gripping onto the Akimichi's arm while the Uchiha had him in a chokehold. Sakura and Ino's arms were locked, the two girls mid-yank on each other's faces and hair. I was hanging off of Mitchell's back, one arm practically ripping out his hair and yanking his head back with the other snaked firmly around his neck. Shikamaru was the only one who had been left out of the squabble, wisely remaining behind us and away from it all, though he was close enough to stare at us, seemingly baffled as to how we all got here.

Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and I, however, had no intentions on wasting time answering him. Our heads whirled to our sensei when he spoke, and we found him sitting contently in his barstool. His mask was once again in perfect place, shielding his face from view as per usual, and the ramen bowl in front of him was now empty.

He brought his hands together and smiled, completely oblivious to the way we were gaping at him. "Well, that was tasty."

The four of us gasped in unison, hardly able to believe our eyes. "SO FAST!"

"Huh?" Kakashi-sensei turned to look at us, regarding our positions with surprise. "Something wrong?"

"Uh...no?" I replied, though it sounded more like a question than an answer.

"Of course not!" Sakura exclaimed, laughing nervously. "What makes you say that?"

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly he stopped. "What the–?"

Curious, Sakura, Sasuke, and I looked at him, wondering what had distracted him. He didn't answer, instead pointing forward. We followed his gaze, and there was Teuchi and Ayame, behind the counter, which wouldn't have mattered at all, if it weren't for the expressions on their faces.

Ayame had hearts in her eyes, her hands clasped together in front of her as she sighed dreamily. The girl was practically drooling, a bright red blush dusting her cheeks. Hell, even Teuchi looked amazed, as there was a tiny blush on his face, too, all because the two of them had laid eyes on our sensei's face, and that was when we knew it had to be good.

"Huh?" Kakashi-sensei looked around innocently, completely out of the loop, while my teammates and I were left with nothing but eye-twitches and an even more intense determination to figure out what we had missed.

"OKAY, NOW I'M CURIOUS!"

~*~

Everything that had went down at Ichiraku's left Kakashi-sensei sufficiently confused, but he thanked us for the ramen nonetheless. He disappeared soon afterwards, giving Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and I time to regroup outside.

"Well, that was a bust," I said, sighing deeply. "Sorry my lunch plan fell through, you guys."

"Eh, don't be. As far as plans go, that one wasn't completely awful," Sakura said offhandedly, shrugging. "It probably would've worked if stupid Ino-pig and her team hadn't shown up and gotten in the way."

The almost-praise made me smile slightly. "Well, nothing we can do about it now." I sighed again. "We'll just have to come up with something else."

"Yeah, and the sooner, the better," she agreed. "I mean, did you see the look on Ayame's face? She was totally star-struck! Kakashi-sensei has to be hot!"

"Ew, Sakura, gross!" I exclaimed, scrunching my nose up in disgust. "What is wrong with you? That's our dad!" Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura each turned to stare at me with raised eyebrows, tilting their heads in what I could only interpret as a 'judging you' expression, which of course made me defensive. "What? We all know it's true! Don't judge me just because I'm the only one who said it!"

"Actually, I think we're more hung up on the fact that you said 'our,'" Sasuke corrected.

"Aww, M, does this mean you see us as your family?" Sakura cooed, reaching out and pinching my cheek. "How adorable!"

I smacked her hand away, but the damage was already done, because soon Naruto was joining her, adding wistfully, "I think that's the nicest thing she's ever said about us!"

Sakura fanned her face and wiped an imaginary tear from her eye. "Oh, that's it! Get over here, you big 'ole softy!"

"Oh God, please, no–ACK!" I tried to run, but Naruto and Sakura were flanking me in on both sides, preventing my escape. And then, just like that, they were trapping me in a hug, the pinkette embracing me tightly on my left and the blond on my right, like they were trying to cut off my circulation or something.

I signaled to Sasuke for help, but instead of being a good boyfriend and getting them off me, he just watched with an amused smirk on his face, leaving me with no choice but to stand there, sigh, and accept it, all while trying to find a way to breathe with how tightly they were hugging me.

"Okay, okay, I'll admit it." I sighed again, waiting for them to remove their arms from around me. "I love you guys, you guys love me, we're all one big happy family– now would you two please let go of me?! I CAN'T BREATHE!"

I gasped dramatically at the lack of air, and though they rolled their eyes at my theatrics, Naruto and Sakura did let me go. I let out a breath of relief, wiping imaginary sweat from my forehead. "Oh, thank God, I can finally breathe! I thought I was a goner there! Since when is hugging so vicious?!"

Sasuke shook his head, chuckling at my reaction. "Well, at least now you know what Hyuga feels like whenever you do it to him."

"My hugs are amazing and not at all suffocating, and Neji would be a fool not to appreciate them, thank you very much, Duck-Butt," I informed him matter-of-factly, flipping my hair over my shoulder while he rolled his eyes at me. "Anyway, back to our previous shenanigans. We need to complete Operation ELF!"

Sakura and Sasuke groaned at the mission name I used, which I dutifully chose to ignore, while Naruto, like the true best friend he was, nodded in agreement. "Heck yeah! Nothing's gonna stop me from seeing that face!"

"Yeah, but how?" Sakura asked. "You got any ideas?"

"Don't you worry...We'll see it one way or another!" the Uzumaki assured, cackling to himself and shining yet another flashlight to his face creepily, which just confused me. I mean, seriously where was he getting those from? And where did he keep putting them?

"I'm asking you how, you stupid little troll!" the pinkette barked, just like she had done earlier, knocking him to the ground with her fist.

He groaned and sat up, rubbing his head where a bump was already forming. "All right, smarty-pants, how do you suppose we do it?"

She bit her lip thoughtfully, placing a lock of hair behind her ear unsurely. "Well, we..."

"We'll just have to tail him around for the day," Sasuke announced, casually shoving his hands into his pockets. "He'll take off the mask eventually."

"Oh, Sasuke!" Sakura clasped her hands together, gazing at the Uchiha with hearts in her eyes. "I swear, you are so smart!"

"Oh, whatever!" Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "Good plan, Captain Obvious!"

The pinkette was beside the Uzumaki instantly, hands on her hips as she glared him down, daring him to say anything else. "I'm sorry, what was that?!"

Thankfully, Naruto was smart enough not to antagonize her any further, which probably had everything to do with the fact that he was still sporting a lump on his head from when she'd hit him earlier. "Uh, nevermind."

"Okay, then we'll go with Duck-Butt's plan," I decided, perching a hand on my hip. "Come on, you guys, let's do this! Operation ELF, phase two, begin!"

Naruto cheered, Sakura groaned, Sasuke told me to quit calling it that, I ignored him, and then we were off.

~*~

It was surprisingly easy to locate Kakashi-sensei. We found him picking up groceries at the supermarket and had been following him ever since. Now, the four of us were hiding behind a giant billboard, watching as our sensei made his way down the street, a brown paper bag full of groceries perched safely in one arm, while the other hand was placed casually in his pocket.

He hummed to himself as he walked, until suddenly he froze when he noticed something in the corner of his eye. He practically flew at the store he was passing by, dropping his groceries in the process. He went back and forth in front of the store's display window, his face pressed up against the glass as he giggled to himself in glee.

"What in the world is Kakashi-sensei doing?" asked Naruto, expression laced with confusion.

"Heck if I know," I muttered under my breath as I watched our teacher with an eyebrow raised. "He's such a weirdo. I mean, really, what's so special about a bookstore–"

Sasuke, who was crouched beside me on my left, placed his hand under my chin and turned my head to the right, where I was finally able to spot a poster of a woman clad in nothing but a skimpy bikini on the outside of the shop, and just like that, it all made sense.

"...Ah," I said in realization, disappointed but not at all surprised. "Right. I almost forgot, our sensei's a pervert."

"It's so disappointing," Sakura announced, shaking her head.

All of a sudden, Kakashi-sensei's head whipped around to look behind him, right where we were hiding. Cursing underneath our breath, the four of us quickly ducked our heads down to avoid being spotted, which of course, in true Team 7 nature, led to us bickering with one another.

"He's onto us," Sasuke whispered sharply.

"Naruto, you idiot," Sakura scolded, glaring at the blond on her right, "you blew our cover!"

"Why the heck is it my fault!?" Naruto demanded.

"Quiet!" I hissed at them underneath my breath. "My God, can you guys be any louder?"

"Oh, please, as if you're one to talk." Sakura scoffed. "You're gonna give us away!"

"Oh yeah, sure, I'm the one who's giving us away," I drawled sarcastically, "clearly it's me and definitely not you guys who started chatting it up in the first place. How silly of me. Please, oh please, find it in your hearts to forgive me, oh masters of whispering."

The pinkette scowled at me and opened her mouth to say something else, but the sound of our sensei's voice interrupted our bickering.

"Wait..." We each sucked in a breath and braced ourselves, expecting him to peer out from in front of the poster and expose our hiding spot, but oddly enough, he did no such thing, his attention captured by other, seemingly more important matters. "My favorite book is going to be a movie?!" I couldn't exactly see him from behind the billboard, but by the sound of his voice, I could tell that he was ecstatic. "I better order tickets in advance!"

We heard him practically skip away in excitement, but we waited for a few more moments to make sure the coast was clear before we poked our heads out from our hiding spot behind the billboard.

"Hey!" Sakura exclaimed, watching as Kakashi-sensei rounded the corner. "He's on the move!"

"Yeah, and without busting our hiding spot, too," I said, "which is really hard to believe, since we all suck at whispering. Seriously, how the heck did anyone let us become ninja?"

"We'll worry about that later," Sasuke said offhandedly, waving his hand dismissively. "Let's go, before we lose him."

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. Right."

The four of us jumped down from behind the billboard, landing effortlessly on our feet. We took the same path we'd seen Kakashi-sensei take only seconds earlier, rounding the corner, but to our sheer surprise, the silver-haired jonin was nowhere to be seen.

"He's gone!" Sakura exclaimed, jade green eyes wide.

"And here I thought he'd just turned invisible," I mused sarcastically, shooting her a wry smile. "Thanks for clearing that up, S."

She rolled her eyes at me, while Sasuke sighed and rubbed his temples in irritation at our situation. "Oh, great, he got away."

"Are you kidding?" Naruto looked back and forth, searching for any signs of our sensei. "Where did he vanish off to?"

"Who knows?" I shrugged, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm just glad he didn't catch us spying on him–"

"Hey."

Clearly, I had spoken too soon, because sure enough, there was the voice of our sensei coming from right behind us. And because my teammates and I are obviously trained professionals who are amazing at dealing with the unexpected, we of course remained completely calm.

And by completely calm, I mean we jumped about three feet in the air and screamed in terror, my voice, of course, being the loudest and most distinct, considering my first instinct upon being discovered was to shout at the top of my lungs, "OH SWEET PETUNIA!"

Now, instead of just continuing to scream with me like normal people, my teammates decided that now was the perfect time to pause in their panic just so they could judge me, which, if you asked me, said more about them than it did about me. Anyway, while all three of them had the same "are you serious" expression on their faces, it was Sakura who spoke on it.

"Really? 'Sweet petunia'?" She shot me a "really?" look and shook her head. "That's what you chose to be your shocked phrase?"

"What?" I shrugged. "'Oh, my God' was beginning to feel overused. I figured I should spice it up a little bit."

"Oh, my God," Sasuke said with a groan, looking about a thousand percent done with me.

"See?" I gestured to the Uchiha beside me and sighed, shaking my head in disappointment. "It just doesn't seem as original anymore."

Kakashi-sensei, for his part, didn't question our little exchange, despite the fact that our reaction was anything but subtle. He just waited patiently until we were done, which was super polite and definitely something I would have commended him for. You know, if he hadn't just caught us spying on him and wasn't still standing behind us right now, which suddenly reminded us how terrified we were, making us shudder in place.

"What are you four doing?" he asked, tone curious but still characteristically relaxed. "Do you guys need me for something?"

Immediately, we all shook our heads from side to side furiously, chorusing together not at all inconspicuously, "Uh, n-no, not really!"

"Hmm..."

Slowly, we turned our heads to face him, and there he was, looking down at us with his head tilted and confusion evident in his one visible eye. He appeared as if he was going to question us further, so I made sure I beat him to the punch.

"Oh, wow, would you look at the time!" I exclaimed brightly, looking down at my wrist, where there definitely wasn't a watch, but shh, we could worry about that later. "We've gotta go change our eyebrows now, but we'll see you around! Later, sensei!"

Not giving him a chance to respond, I sent him a nervous laugh and wave before latching onto my teammates and dragging them away with me. Thankfully, they got the hint and were quick to follow after me, ignoring Kakashi-sensei's confused murmur of "change your eyebrows...?" coming from behind us.

What? Like I said, I'm a really bad liar.

~*~

"Hey..." Naruto began, once the four of us were far enough from Kakashi-sensei that we wouldn't be overheard. "How'd he figure out we were tailing him, huh?"

"Maybe there were just too many of us," Sakura guessed, shrugging her shoulders.

"Oh, please! If you know how to hide, it doesn't matter how many people there are!" the blond exclaimed matter-of-factly. Again, he leered towards her with yet another flashlight (at this point, I had given up trying to figure out where he was getting those from). "Don't tell you've forgotten all of your jutsu, Sakura!"

Sakura, as expected, knocked him to the ground with her fist for what felt like the tenth time today. "You're the one who forgets!"

"Okay, am I the only one who feels like we've done this before?" I asked inquisitively, mostly to myself, as I squinted my eyes in suspicion and tilted my head. "How many times are we going to recycle the flashlight bit? I mean, seriously, who's writing this stuff?"

Both Naruto and Sakura stared at me with raised eyebrows, clearly not understanding. "What are you even talking about?" the pinkette questioned.

I sighed and waved my hand dismissively. "Nothing important. Look, the point is we need to figure out a new plan to find out what's underneath Kakashi-sensei's mask, one that maybe doesn't involve all of us tailing him at once this time."

Naruto scratched his head, squinting his eyes in confusion. "I thought the whole point of us making the plan was so that we could see his real face together?"

"Well, yeah, it was at first, until I remembered who we are," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "This might shock you guys, since I know you all consider yourselves masters at whispering, but maybe the reason Kakashi-sensei spotted us in the first place was because none of us actually has any concept of what it means to be quiet."

"Oh, speak for yourself." Sakura scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest and sticking her nose up into the air. "You're louder than all of us combined! If anything, you're the one who's always yelling!"

My eye twitched at her. "And you're yelling at me right now, you hypocrite!"

"Minxie brought up a good point," Sasuke spoke up casually, making all of us turn to look at him. "Having us all together draws too much attention. We should shadow him. It'll be good practice, but we should do it solo this time."

Sakura, as expected, practically tripped over herself to agree with him, hearts appearing in her eyes almost instantly. "Yeah, I think so, too," she chirped, clasping her hands together. "We should totally ditch Naruto and Minxie!"

"SAY WHAT!?" Naruto and I exclaimed together, neither of us pleased with that arrangement, but of course, we were ignored, and before we knew it, we were on to the next phase of our plan.

~*~

As per mine and Sasuke's suggestion, we decided that we would each shadow Kakashi-sensei on our own, tailing his every move until eventually, he removed his mask. Naruto volunteered to take on the challenge first, and so the rest of us waited for him outside of a local tea shop.

Sasuke, Sakura, and I were sitting on a bench beside a tree, an umbrella opened above us to lend us some shade. Together, we sipped at the tea we'd bought, the warm drink soothing us as we waited for our blond counterpart to return.

It didn't take Naruto long to come back to us. By the guilty look on his face and the way he was shifting on his feet, I knew he hadn't been successful.

The Uzumaki rubbed at the back of his neck, letting out a nervous chuckle. "He...Got away..."

Sakura pursed her lips, unimpressed, and shook her head. "Just as clumsy as always."

"Why are you such an idiot?" Sasuke asked, and Naruto hunched over and hung his head, muttering to himself in dejection.

"Hey, be nice!" I scolded, immediately coming to Naruto's defense as I jabbed Sasuke in the gut with my elbow, making him wince slightly. "I'd like to see the two of you do any better!"

Naruto slowly lifted his head to shoot me a grateful smile, a gesture I was quick to return.

"You know what, M?" Sakura finished the rest of her tea with a demure sip before jumping to her feet and placing her hands on her hips confidently. "I'm willing to accept that challenge."

"It's all yours, S," I told her, lifting my cup towards her as Naruto took her place on the bench next to me. "Just make sure you don't lose sight of him."

~*~

Sakura was gone for a long time, long enough for it to suddenly start raining with absolutely no explanation at all. I would've been more annoyed by the sudden change of weather, but thankfully we had the protection of the umbrella above our heads, so we were able to continue sitting on the bench and sipping our tea without being disturbed.

After what seemed like ages, Sakura finally appeared. She was blushing in embarrassment, the nervous giggle in her voice reassuring us that she hadn't had any luck with Kakashi-sensei, either.

Naruto and Sasuke sighed deeply, while I shook my head in disappointment. "You lost sight of him, didn't you? You had one job, Sakura!"

"Oh, whatever!" She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest in a huff. "I'd like to see you try!"

"In fact, I will," I announced confidently, rising from my seat. "Prepare to be amazed. Operation ELF will be completed before sundown!"

~*~

It didn't take me long to track Kakashi-sensei, which had everything to do with the fact that Guy-sensei had found him first. I could hear my old jumpsuit-clad teacher challenging the silver-haired jonin from halfway across the village, which led me right to them in the town square. So basically, Guy-sensei had done half my job for me, not that I'd ever tell the rest of my teammates that (though I did make a mental note to buy him something nice as a thank you for it later, even if it would probably just make him super confused about the whole thing).

Guy-sensei was going on and on about how it was time for he and his rival to test their youth against one another –whatever the heck that meant– while Kakashi-sensei looked on boredly, his infamous book in his hand and the other shoved casually into his pocket.

I kept my distance, choosing an alleyway a few streets away from them as my hiding spot. It was out of the way enough that I wouldn't be spotted, but close enough that I had a clear view of my target.

Speaking of which, said target had just put his book away, removing his hands from his pockets.

Guy-sensei got into a fighting stance and balled his hands into fists. "Dearest rival, I challenge you..."

I watched with wide eyes. What the hell? Were they seriously about to spar in the middle of the village? That didn't even make any sense–

"...to a most youthful game of rock-paper-scissors!"

Ah. Now that makes more sense. Almost forgot my senseis are huge dorks, too.

Although I was in that moment completely done with my teachers, I was still very much dedicated to keeping an eye on Kakashi-sensei, until, of course, I was distracted by a tiny meow.

Confused, I looked down, spotting an alley-cat with light brown fur at my feet, looking up at me expectantly. And while the cat was small and quite possibly one of the cutest animals I had ever seen, I wasn't going to allow it to distract me from my mission, even if I did have the sudden urge to reach down and scratch behind its ears.

"Aw, hi, little one," I whispered down to it. Taking that as a sign to continue, the cat strutted up to me and rubbed against my legs adorably, purring as it bumped its nose against my calf. "Oh, no, no, no, I can't play right now, cutie, I'm sorry. I have to figure out what's behind my sensei's mask. So go on, get out of here. Shoo."

I waved my hand in a gesture of dismissal, hoping that would help the cat get the hint, before returning my attention to Kakashi-sensei. Thankfully, he hadn't gone anywhere; he and Guy-sensei were currently engaged in what looked like the most intense match of rock-paper-scissors I had ever seen, and I let out a breath of relief at the realization that I hadn't lost sight of him.

Again, the sound of meowing caught my attention. I looked down, expecting to find the brown alley-cat again, only this time he'd been joined by two of his fellow feline friends, making it a total of three cats that were currently meowing for my attention.

"Where the heck did you two come from?" I questioned in confusion. The two new cats –one with yellow fur and the other with black fur– tilted their heads at me in what I could only describe as an unimpressed fashion. It was weird; they couldn't actually talk to me, but somehow I knew exactly what they meant. Must've been a Takeda thing. "Right, right. It's a free village, you can go wherever you want. My bad."

They approached me together, pattering at my legs and meowing in unison, which under any other circumstances would've completely melted my heart, but right now was so not the time.

"Shh!" I hushed them, placing a finger on my lips. The trio paused in their meowing, looking up at me with curious, innocent eyes, and I had to fight the urge to gather them all up in my arms and adopt them right then and there. "I'm sorry, you guys. I'd love to play right now, but I really can't. I've got to complete my mission first."

The cats all stared at me curiously, large eyes bright and innocent, when suddenly two new meows caught my attention. I shifted my gaze to their source, spotting two new cats making their way over to us from deeper in the alleyway.

I instantly shook my head and waved my hands, trying to keep them at bay. "No, no! Not you guys, too! Really, I'm sorry, but I'm busy right now–"

I was so distracted by the incoming cats that I completely forgot about the three that were right below me. I didn't realize they'd gotten so close until they started nuzzling at my legs, beginning to meow and creating a chorus that the others were quick to join in on, filling the alleyway with the sound. I tried my best to keep them quiet, but it was no use.

"Shh, not so loud! Don't get me wrong, you're all adorable and I love you with all my heart, but I really can't– aw, what the hell."

And there you have it, folks. Fifteen seconds of nuzzling and a chorus of meows later, and I caved, dropping to the floor and accepting the cats into my arms like they were all my long lost children.

So what, I'm a sucker for cute animals. Sue me.

I was so occupied with giggling and playing with the cats around me that I didn't even realize my cover had been blown until it was too late.

"Minxie?"

And that was how Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei found me, sitting in an alleyway with a trio of cats snuggled in my arms and about half a dozen more scampering around me playfully. I wish I could say that was the weirdest situation they'd ever found me in, but it wasn't and definitely wouldn't be the last one, either, which was probably why they didn't look surprised when they saw me. A little disturbed, sure, but definitely not surprised.

I couldn't exactly run away from them with a bunch of cats sitting in my lap, so I just settled for shooting them a sheepish smile. "Hi there, senseis. How you doin'?"

"Pretty good," answered Kakashi-sensei, completely calm. He nodded casually at my current position. "Whatcha up to there, kiddo?"

"Oh, not much," I replied easily, as I tried to remember how on Earth I had gotten myself into this particular predicament, "you know, just cursing my entire lineage. The usual."

The orange kitten in my lap licked my palm and began to purr, melting my heart instantly as I forgot about my mission all over again.

"Except not really, because look at them!" I scooped the cat into my arms and gave it a tight hug. "They're adorable, and I love them!"

I let the cat rest against my chest as I rubbed its back, using my free hand to scratch the brown one behind its ears as the rest joined in to cuddle up to me.

"You're all a bunch of cuties, aren't you? Yes, you are! Yes, you are!"

I cooed at them, completely won over by their cuteness. I stayed like that for a while, completely content with the adorable animals around me and about ninety percent convinced I was going to bring them home with me to join Bear and Teacup, until suddenly the whole mask ordeal came rushing back to me, making my head snap up.

"...Kakashi-sensei?" I called out, looking around, but of course both he and Guy-sensei had vanished, leaving me alone in the alleyway with nothing but a bunch of cats and a failed mission. "Aw, fudge."

~*~

I'd never really done a walk of shame before, but I imagined it would've felt just like the journey back to the tea shop where my teammates were waiting for me. I'd like to think it was my sheepish smile and nervous whistling that gave me away –and for those of you who don't know, my whistling capabilities are almost as awful as my singing ones– but it might've actually been the three cats I was holding in my arms, the one that was perched happily on top of my head, and the trail of them that was following behind me.

Still, because I was myself, I had to at least try to play it off.

"Hey, you guys!" I chirped brightly in greeting, beaming at them. "Wonderful weather we're having today, eh?"

There was a long moment of silence as my three teammates stared at me, before turning to each other and sharing a long look that I tried my very best not to be offended by.

Sakura was the first to speak, after letting out a long sigh. "Do we even want to know why there's an army of cats currently trailing behind you?"

"Uhh...genetics?" I guessed, biting my lip.

"Your genetics are weird, believe it!" Naruto announced.

"Say what?!" I exclaimed, looking offended. "I'll have you know, it's because of my genetics that I was able to meet these lovely cats today, who are now some of my best pals. This one here is Simba, and that one's Loki, and Nala, and Milo, and–"

"Save the cat names for later," Sasuke interrupted, cutting me off. "Did you get to see underneath Kakashi-sensei's mask?"

"I'm sorry, who?" I inquired, feigning innocence. "I've never heard that name before in my life."

The Uchiha sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. "You lost him, didn't you?"

I let out a nervous laugh. "Define 'lost.' Because there are a lot of different connotations to it, if you think about it. You could be 'lost in the sauce,' for example. Or you could mean 'lost in translation.' I mean, really, if you think about it, aren't we all just 'lost' in this crazy thing we call life anyway–"

"Minxie!" they snapped in unison, cutting me off and shooting me unamused scowls.

"Okay, okay, fine!" I relented, sighing and hanging my head in shame. "I lost him!"

They all groaned at the revelation, hitting their foreheads with the palms of their hands.

"But it wasn't my fault!" I insisted quickly. "I was hiding in an alleyway, keeping my distance, when all of a sudden Simba showed up and started meowing! And I tried to make him go away, but then his cat friends showed up and started meowing for my attention, too! And I tried to explain to them that I had a mission, but they wouldn't listen, and when I tried to send them off, they just got closer, and then they were purring and cuddling up to me and their fur was so soft and they were all just so sweet and so I caved, okay?! That's right, I caved! And yeah, Kakashi-sensei found me before I could see underneath his mask, and yeah, I'm probably gonna end up a crazy cat lady before I'm twenty-five, but you know what? I'm proud of it!"

I took a deep breath and smiled, finally having finished my rant. My teammates stared at me, looking somewhere between concerned and disturbed, which didn't really offend me as much since it was how they usually looked at me, anyway. Believe it or not, some people just don't get my humor. I know, I know, it's crazy, right?

"...Wow," Sakura muttered, after a few long moments of silence, before shaking her head in disappointment. "That is just sad."

I scowled at her, holding the group of cats closer to my chest protectively. "And to think I was going to let you adopt Milo."

"Anyway," Sasuke continued. "Since Minxie failed, I guess it's my turn to shadow Kakashi-sensei. The rest of you stay here and wait." He stood up and started to walk away, passing me as he did so and shooting me a serious look. "And Minxie, for the love God, let the cats go."

"NO!" I refused. "You can't make me!"

"You can't just adopt twenty-four cats, Minxie!" Naruto exclaimed.

"WATCH ME!"

~*~

So, as it turned out, I didn't end up adopting all twenty-four cats, much to my dismay. I was fully prepared to do so, no matter how much Naruto argued with me to get rid of them, which was probably because they'd all started attacking him.

Yeah, for some reason, cats just don't like Naruto, with the exception of my own kittens, Bear and Teacup. I still remember the way that cat Tora clawed at him like nobody's business back when we were still stuck doing D-rank pet rescue missions. Maybe the whiskers on his face make him seem like a threat to them? Who knows.

Anyway, the point is I was ready to bring all of the cats home with me, until Sakura's annoyingly logical self decided to point out the fact that a lot of them had collars on them, which meant they probably already had owners who were waiting for them to come home. They'd just wanted to hang out with me for a while, as they were drawn to me, given my clan's affinity for cats and all.

And when she reminded me how devastated I would be if Bear and Teacup didn't come home, I knew I couldn't keep them. So, with a heavy heart, I bid farewell to my new feline friends and sent them on their way, leaving just Naruto, Sakura, and I.

I sat on the bench with slumped shoulders, my unfinished tea in my hands as I pouted in dejection.

Sensing my sadness, Sakura reached out and patted my shoulder lightly. "You did the right thing, M."

"I know." I sighed, sending her a small smile. "Thanks, S."

"Um, hello?!" Naruto exclaimed exasperatedly, and only then did we notice him struggling to lift himself back up onto the bench from the floor, a series of scratches made by cat claws on his face. "Not to ruin your moment or anything, but THIRTY CATS JUST TRIED TO SCRATCH ME TO DEATH, and you two DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!"

"Actually, if you really want to be specific, there were only twenty-four," I corrected him matter-of-factly.

His eye twitched at me. "I COULD HAVE DIED!" he barked.

"Ah, yes," I said, waggling a finger at him, "but you didn't."

"Exactly. And you were able to help them have fun before they were sent home," Sakura added helpfully. "See? Everybody wins."

The blond scowled at us and huffed. "YOU TWO ARE THE WORST, BELIEVE IT!"

Sakura and I giggled, while Naruto grumbled to himself. Deciding to take pity on him, I helped him up so that he was sitting next to us on the bench, patting his back comfortingly while he muttered underneath his breath.

It was then that Sasuke appeared, hands shoved in his pockets and expression drawn into a scowl, which didn't really give us any hints about what had happened since that was what his face normally looked like, anyway.

"Sasuke!" Sakura greeted excitedly, clasping her hands together and beaming at the sight of him. "How'd it go?"

The Uchiha stuck his nose into the air and turned his head away from us. "I got tired of shadowing him."

Which, in other words, meant he had totally failed, too. We all sighed together as the realization sunk in, hanging our heads in disappointment.

Looked like finding out what Kakashi-sensei looked like underneath his mask was going to be a lot harder than we thought.

~*~

Despite some minor (major) setbacks, Operation ELF (and yes, I'm still calling it that; Sasuke and Sakura can fight me about it) was still a go, but unfortunately it would have to continue outside of Konoha, since the next day, we were assigned another mission. We were supposed to go help out at a farm, a simple task, which meant we could devote most of our time and energy to the completion of Operation ELF.

The five of us met at the village gates, with Naruto being the most ecstatic, as per usual. He giggled, raising his arms high above his head. "Off we go!"

Kakashi-sensei was looking up at the sky, aloof as always, until he sensed us all staring at him intently, making him raise an eyebrow in confusion. "What's with you guys today? You seem ready for anything."

"Oh, we're ready, all right!" Naruto, Sakura, and I exclaimed in unison, before sharing a weird look at how in sync we all were.

I sweatdropped, while Sasuke chimed in with his usual 'hn.' "And I promise we didn't plan to do that at the same time, either."

Kakashi-sensei smiled at us, closing his one visible eye. "All righty, then. Good to hear."

And with that, we were off.

~*~

The journey to the farm would take us two days, so instead of camping out for the first night, we stayed at an inn that was on the way. That was where we met what I'm pretty sure was the weirdest hostess I'd ever seen, but since she was offering us a place to stay the night, I dealt with it.

"OH, WELCOME!" The woman spoke in a shrill, almost terrifyingly enthusiastic voice, shifting from side to side creepily as she ushered us in. "My, my, my, welcome, WELCOME~!"

We all took a few steps back, sufficiently weirded out by her overly excitable demeanor. She led us inside to a dining room, where a luxurious feast was waiting for us. Sasuke remained unimpressed, but Sakura, Naruto, and I were having the time of our lives, practically drooling at the sight of all the food.

The lady left us to our own devices, cheerfully advising us to take our time before exiting the room. After putting down our stuff, we each took a spot around the table, Naruto and Kakashi-sensei on one side with myself, Sasuke, and Sakura on the other. And while the food did look delicious and my stomach was practically yearning to dig in, as I was sure all of my teammates were, none of us moved or even reached for our chopsticks.

It was an unspoken agreement: we weren't going to start eating until Kakashi-sensei did, because we didn't want to miss out on the chance at seeing his real face. And that was worth keeping our stomachs grumbling for a little while longer.

Or, well, it had better be. I take my food very seriously, if you haven't realized.

Noticing our hesitation, the silver-haired jonin looked in between us curiously. "What's the matter with you guys? No one's picking up their chopsticks."

"Oh, it's nothing!" Sakura reassured him quickly, smiling. "Don't wait on us, Kakashi-sensei. You go ahead and eat."

"Actually," Kakashi-sensei said bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'm kind of on a diet right now."

I felt my eye begin to twitch. A diet? A diet?! That's what he was going with? Him, Kakashi-sensei, the same person who was not only in perfect physical shape –the man could stop swords with his bare hands, for crying out loud– but also the one who appeared randomly outside our windows with entire baskets of vegetables to remind us of the importance of healthy eating, he was on a diet?!

For the second time in the course of only two short days, I felt myself go through all five stages of grief in the span of five seconds. Miraculously, I was able to resist the urge to launch myself across the table and just rip his stupid mask right off his face.

Though I was screaming on the inside, I smiled sweetly on the outside, but I couldn't help a sarcastic remark from slipping out of my mouth.

"Oh, yeah, right, because your figure is in such danger, huh, sensei?" I tried to joke, hoping I sounded more teasing than bitterly sarcastic, which was always a tough task for me, since sarcasm was as natural to me as breathing. "Must be all those vegetables finally catching up to you."

Kakashi-sensei chuckled. "Hey, you can never be too healthy, am I right?"

NO! No, you're not right! You're CRAZY! You're a crazy person and you're stressing me out so just TAKE OFF YOUR STUPID MASK SO I CAN SEE YOUR STUPID FACE BEFORE I LITERALLY BURST INTO FLAMES FROM THE STRESS, YOU SADIST!

Somehow, I was able to get through the next few moments without throwing the entire table at him, but my eye continued to twitch. Naruto, apparently, had also reached his limit, because suddenly he was lifting the teapot to his left.

"OH, NO!" the Uzumaki cried dramatically and not at all believably. "MY HAND SLIPPED!"

And by slipped, he meant he picked up the teapot and just straight up chucked it at our sensei's face, which was exactly what I would've done, had I been closer to the teapot myself. My teammates and I braced ourselves for the big reveal, knowing Kakashi-sensei would have no choice but to take off his mask once it was stained with tea.

And that was exactly what should've happened, if it weren't for one minor detail: OUR SENSEI WAS A COMPLETE PSYCHOPATH. Instead of finding another way to dodge the teapot, he lifted the table –AND I MEAN THE ENTIRE TABLE– and propped it up in front of himself with lightning fast reflexes, using it as a shield.

The rest of us were left to stare in shock, mouths hanging open and eyes wide as saucers as the entire meal tipped over. Plates clattered to the ground, food and utensils crashing to the floor in seconds and nothing but a lone octopus –when the hell did that get there?– left hanging onto the wood of the table. Eventually, that fell, too, making a weird squishing noise that shattered the stillness of the room.

For a moment, none of us did anything, too shocked by what happened. But then Kakashi-sensei poked his head out from behind the table, smiling sheepishly, and that was when all hell broke loose.

"OH, MY GOD!" I shouted, because oh, my God, my sensei was insane! "Kakashi-sensei, what the heck is wrong with you!?"

"Are you out of your mind!?" Sakura demanded, flailing her arms around for emphasis.

"Sorry," our sensei apologized, not sounding the least bit sincere as he smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. "My hand just slipped."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR HAND SLIPPED!?"

~*~

Somehow, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and I were the ones who ended up having to clean up after Kakashi-sensei's dinner fiasco. And even though none of us were happy about getting stuck with the mess, it did give us time to go over everything and try to come up with a new strategy for Operation ELF.

"All right, so," I began, taking a seat and crossing my legs underneath me in the little circle we had formed together after we all finished cleaning up. "I don't want to alarm anyone, but Kakashi-sensei? Yeah, he's crazy. You know what kind of person just casually flips over an entire table of food in broad daylight without a second thought? A crazy person, that's who."

"Yeah, I really wasn't expecting that one, either, believe it," Naruto muttered in agreement. "But crazy or not, I still want to know what's underneath that mask! I mean, why else would he go through so much trouble to protect it?! He has to be hiding something good under there! Like bucked teeth, or fangs, or something! We've gotta see it!"

"Okay, fine," I relented, putting my hands up in surrender. "But when this is all over, we need to seriously consider counseling. Or, at the very least, a temporary transfer, because he's crazy, I'm traumatized, and you know what? It's stressing me out, and I just don't think I need that kind of negative energy in my life."

"Fine," Sakura said, waving her hand dismissively at me. "Now, what's our next move, you guys?"

"Don't worry about it," Sasuke assured. "I think I have a plan."

"What kind of plan?" Sakura, Naruto, and I asked in unison.

I shuddered, shaking my head. "Okay, seriously, you guys, we've got to stop doing that." I turned to Sasuke, raising an eyebrow at him. "Now, what's your plan, Duck-Butt?"

"All right." He beckoned us towards him, and we all gathered in closer, huddling together. "Here's what we're going to do."

~*~

Sasuke's brilliant plan? A hot spring. Because obviously, that was going to work so well, right? Ugh.

Now, under any other circumstances, I probably would've commended the plan as a good idea. Well, not really, because hot springs make me feel claustrophobic and sweaty and tired. Not to mention the fact that with the amount of perverts in my village, I'm always paranoid that someone's going to spy on me, but that's beside the point.

See, if I were being completely objective about it, the hot springs wasn't that bad of an idea for accomplishing Operation ELF, all things considered. I mean, really, what kind of weirdo wouldn't take off his mask in a hot spring? It made perfect sense as a strategy to get Kakashi-sensei to remove his mask.

The only problem in this plan was that the particular hot springs we were attending were gendered, meaning one side was reserved for women and the other for men. So while Naruto and Sasuke would get to see Kakashi-sensei's real face when he entered the bathhouse, Sakura and I, on the other side of the wall, would be left out of the loop.

So it was safe to say that at this point, the two of us were feeling just a tad bit– now, what's the word for it? Oh, that's right. BETRAYED.

I mean, hello! What kind of unfair nonsense was that!? Yeah, okay, finding out what Kakashi-sensei looked like underneath his mask was technically Naruto's idea to begin with, but we'd all agreed to uncovering it together! Hell, I'm the one who gave the mission a name in the first place! (A really amazing one, too, if I do say so myself). But no, none of that mattered, all because the bathhouses were separated. Stupid gender binary.

You'd think Naruto and Sasuke would come up with a better plan that included all of us once we found that out, but nope! They were sticking with Sasuke's bathhouse idea, anyway, because clearly Sakura and I didn't matter. Apparently, loyalty and teamwork were just too much to ask for in this world, because the second Naruto and Sasuke got the chance to see Kakashi-sensei's face for themselves, off they went. Jerks.

And yeah, sure, maybe Sasuke had promised to let me sift through his memories with my Mind's Eye once he'd seen Kakashi-sensei's face, but it wasn't the same! He and Naruto were still going to get to see it before Sakura and I did, and, since, as you all know, I have a tendency to hold a grudge, that meant I was going to be bitter about it for as long as I could.

Currently, Sakura and I were on the women's side of the bathhouse wall. Although the inn's hot springs were open to all of their guests, we were the only two girls in the entire female section, and as we soaked in the boiling hot water, we were able to bond over one singular truth: neither of us were happy with it.

"Aw, man," Sakura whined. "I wanted to get a look, too. But with these hot springs, we're out of the loop!" She frowned and sunk deeper into the water in dejection. "I want to see. Aw..."

"Yeah, no kidding. And to think I thought we were in this together," I muttered, shaking my head in disappointment. I glared at the wall separating us from our teammates, making sure my voice carried to the other side as I spoke. "Nice to know what our friendship means to you, traitors!"

I heard someone who sounded like Sasuke sigh exasperatedly, and I could almost picture him rolling his eyes at me, even though I couldn't actually see him. "I already told you that you could use your kekkei genkai on me once this is done. So would you quit being such a drama queen already, loser?"

"'Quit being such a drama queen, loser,'" I mimicked him, making Sakura giggle, while I imagined the Uchiha's eye twitching at me from past the wall. "Yeah, well, it takes one to know one, Duck-Butt!"

"Oh, come on, Minx," Naruto intervened. "How many times do we have to tell you girls that we're sorry?"

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" I blinked innocently, pretending not to hear. "I couldn't hear you over the sound of your complete and utter betrayal."

I heard both of them sigh deeply, with Naruto whining, "Aw, come on, don't be like that, Minx!" But as expected, I ignored him, huffing with my arms crossed over my chest and sinking further into the water.

"I'm surprised Kakashi-sensei isn't with them yet," Sakura murmured thoughtfully to me, and to be honest, I was thinking the exact same thing. "I wonder what's taking him so long?"

Sasuke and Naruto were apparently still eavesdropping, because they started muttering to themselves in agreement, Sasuke stating underneath his breath, "You know, she brings up a good point."

I heard Naruto clear his throat, speaking up so his voice extended back towards the building, where I assumed Kakashi-sensei was still inside. "What's the hold up, Kakashi-sensei?!" the blond asked impatiently.

"One sec," called the silver-haired jonin, "I'm coming!"

"Huh?" Sakura lifted her head up from out of the water. "Was that Kakashi-sensei?"

"Yeah, it was," I replied. I turned my head in the direction of our sensei's voice, finding myself looking at the wall separating us, then back to Sakura, beckoning her towards me with my hand. "Come on."

"Wha–?" The pinkette looked on in confusion as she watched me pad across the water back towards the inn. "Where are you going?"

"To see Kakashi-sensei's face for myself, duh," I answered obviously. I heaved myself out of the water quickly, snatching up a towel and wrapping it securely around myself before turning back to her with an eyebrow raised. "You coming?"

"Minxie!" she whispered sharply, voice scolding and expression practically scandalized. "We can't just go peeking into the men's bath! It's inappropriate! And what if someone catches us?!"

"Oh, come on. It's not like we're actually going to see anything. They'll all be underneath the water, anyway," I reasoned easily, waving my hand dismissively as I placed the other on my hip. "And no one's going to catch us, either." She didn't move, arms crossed over her chest resolutely and lips pursed, unconvinced, making me sigh. I grabbed another towel, holding it up towards her. "Look. Do you want to see Kakashi-sensei's real face or not?"

She bit her lip and stared at me for a few moments, seeming to be debating with herself, until finally, she gave in. She sighed and threw her hands up in the air, relenting. "Okay, fine! Let's go!"

I grinned and tossed her the towel, which she caught effortlessly, getting out of the water and wrapping it around herself. Together, the two of us crept over to the wall separating the bathhouses, crouching and pressing our faces against them as we desperately tried to see between the cracks.

"I can't see a thing!" Sakura complained, jade green eyes squinting before she nudged me with her knee. "You think your kekkei genkai will have more luck?"

"No idea, since it's used mainly to see people's thoughts," I told her honestly, biting my lip. "But I'll give it a try, anyway."

I flowed chakra to my eyes, activating my kekkei genkai effortlessly. There was still a lot of fog from the hot spring on the other side, but my Mind's Eyes did clear my vision up a bit, just enough so that I could spot Kakashi-sensei's silhouette on the other side. I blinked in confusion, trying to make sense of what I was seeing.

"Well?" the pinkette beside me pressed, green eyes expectant. "Do you see anything?"

"There's still a lot of fog," I answered, forcing my eyes to focus even more. "But I see Kakashi-sensei, and he's– oh, you've got to be kidding me!" I groaned, while Sakura eagerly tried to poke her head in beside mine to see, too.

"What, what?" she questioned curiously, straining her neck to see. "What is it?"

I sighed and turned to her, deactivating my kekkei genkai with an unamused expression on my face. "He wore a towel over his face in the hot spring. I couldn't see a thing!"

"Oh, come on!" she groaned. "Now he's just doing it on purpose!"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I agree with you," I muttered, shaking my head and rubbing my temples. "Let's just go back inside. The plan didn't work, anyway, and it's way too hot in here." I paused to readjust my hair in its bun atop my head, eyeing the bathhouse wall warily. "Plus, I think all the steam is starting to make me hallucinate."

The pinkette tilted her head at me in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. When Kakashi-sensei sat down, I could've sworn I saw a dart flying over his head. And then I heard this weird giggling, and it ended up coming from a frog, and then the poor thing just passed out after laughing so much."

She eyed me weirdly, most likely thinking I was insane, before letting out a laugh. "Yeah, I think the heat is definitely getting to you. Come on, let's get you back inside."

She stood up and offered me here hand, and I took it, letting her help me up. The two of us then proceeded to go back inside the inn, while I was left wondering what the hell had just happened.

I mean, seriously? A frog laughing itself to death? How could I have ever possibly come up with that on my own?

Oh, whatever.

~*~

The next morning was rough. But Minxie, you all may be thinking to yourselves right now, aren't all mornings rough for you, since you hate waking up early? The basic answer, my friends, is yes, but let it be known that this morning was rougher than usual, and that had everything to do with the fact that we still hadn't made any progress in Operation ELF.

And honestly, at this point? It was safe to say we were all getting a little desperate.

Normally, we would've complained or gotten into some kind of playful argument as we left the inn and made our way to the farm for our mission, but not today. We were all too busy being exhausted and suffering internally at the realization that we still hadn't figured out what Kakashi-sensei's face looked like. And at this rate, we probably never would.

Speaking of Kakashi-sensei, he was the only person on our team actually having a good day. He was all smiles as we journeyed through the trees, attitude bright and chipper, either unaware of our suffering or unphased by it; I wasn't sure. The point was, he was happy as a clam while the rest of us were all trudging along and dying inside. Again: he's a sadist.

"All right, you've all got jobs to do," the silver-haired jonin announced, once we all got to the farm and were assigned our respective tasks. "You'd best get to work. Dismissed!"

With that, he was off, leaving the four of us to gather around in a circle, looking more worse for wear than we probably ever had. Clearly, the stress was beginning to take its toll on us.

"I've about had it, guys," Naruto muttered, his voice dull and void of its usual boundless energy. "I don't think my nerves can handle much more of this."

"I'm getting pretty fed up myself," Sasuke agreed gruffly, dark eyes weary with exhaustion.

"Yeah, no kidding," I said under my breath, heaving a sigh and attempting to rake a hand through my hair. I'd been so tired this morning after everything with Operation ELF that I hadn't even bothered to brush it, and now my curls were sticking out haphazardly atop my head, looking like a cross between an unkempt lion's mane and a bird's nest.

"I swear, all this mission of ours has done is stress me out, and it's not even an official mission!" I complained, groaning as my hand snagged on a particularly rough tangle. "Do you know what happens to people when they're under too much stress? They go bald. So here I am, balding at the tender age of fourteen, and you know what? I'm sick of it!" When the tangle wouldn't budge, I let out a noise of anguish before throwing my hands in the air exasperatedly and giving up. "Ugh! I just want this whole thing to be over."

"Yeah, me, too. That makes four of us." Sakura ran a hand through her hair distractedly, rubbing at the matching dark circles underneath her eyes. "It's ridiculous. At this rate, we're never going to complete Operation ELF."

"Oh, my God." I actually gasped at her, a huge grin making its way onto my face. I wiped a few tears of joy from my eyes before beginning to jump up and down excitedly, clapping my hands together enthusiastically. "You did it! You actually called it Operation ELF! I knew this day would come!"

The pinkette rolled her eyes. "Oh, stop enjoying this so much, would you?"

"Nope, too late. I'm already planning a whole party to celebrate this moment inside my head, and there's nothing you can do about it," I informed her smugly, sending her a wink, while she groaned in annoyance. "I knew those codenames would come in handy." I held up my hand for a high-five. "Up top, Cherry Blossom!"

She tried to avoid my high-five, shooting me an unimpressed look, but I wouldn't allow it. When she didn't reciprocate, I just picked up her wrist and made her give me a high-five myself, while she rolled her eyes and muttered something about me being completely ridiculous, but all I did was beam at her.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was completely unimpressed with my codename capabilities. "Really? Cherry Blossom? That's not even a little bit creative."

"Hey, it was either that or She-Hulk," I defended, shrugging my shoulders, "which, like most of my references, would've been lost on you people, anyway. Blame it on the interdimensional culture difference."

For a moment, he looked like he was about to question it further, but apparently decided it wasn't worth it and just shook his head. "Whatever."

"Hey, hey!" Naruto interrupted eagerly, shaking my arm as he looked to me with excited blue eyes. "What's my codename? Come on, tell me! It's something cool, right? Like Justice-bringer? Oh, oh! Or War Dragon!"

"Close," I told him, smiling. "It's Fox."

"Say what!?" the Uzumaki exclaimed, anime falling. "That isn't even a little bit close, believe it! And it isn't cool, either!"

"Hey, speak for yourself," I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest. "I think foxes are plenty cool. Plus, they're adorable, so if anything, you should be flattered, blond."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say," he relented, rolling his eyes. He was still pouting, however, so I resorted to what I knew was a sure-fire way of making him smile again: tickling. I went for his side, and immediately, he started laughing, before throwing his hands up in the air in surrender. "Okay, okay! I give, brunette! You win!"

"That's what I'd thought you'd say." I crossed my arms over my chest and smiled at him. "Anyway, back to our earlier dilemma...just how are we going to complete Operation ELF? Because if we're being honest, I'm like this close–" I paused to hold up a hand, my thumb and pointer finger a mere centimeter apart. "–to saying to hell with it and going with the buck teeth guess. Or just having a heart attack and bursting into flames from the stress. Whichever comes first."

"All right, then!" Naruto exclaimed, nodding his head resolutely, like he'd just made up his mind about something drastic. "Desperate times call for desperate measures!"

"Desperate measures...?" Sakura, Sasuke, and I repeated together.

At the realization that we'd done so in unison yet again, I sighed deeply before shaking my head. "You know what? I'm just not gonna question it anymore." I turned to my blond best friend expectantly. "So, what's the plan?"

Naruto's plan, as it turned out, involved dressing up in clothing that was about four sizes too big for us with not the slightest bit of explanation as to what we were going to do with it or even where he'd gotten it from.

Sakura, Sasuke, and I were more than a little confused, but we were just too tired to question it, which was how we ended up back outside in our new, poorly fitting, and not-the-best-smelling disguises. It was only when we actually got outside to look at each other that we all seemed to realize –with the exception of Naruto, of course– how absolutely ridiculous we looked.

"Why are we dressed like this?" Sasuke demanded, one of his eyebrows twitching in exasperation.

"Isn't it obvious?" said Naruto, when it, in fact, wasn't even a little bit obvious, hence the reason the rest of us were so confused, but whatever. "We're posing as a group of rogue ninja!"

"Where did you even get these things?" Sakura questioned, looking down at her own outfit, her nose scrunched up in obvious distaste.

The Uzumaki laughed nervously, waving away her question with a dismissive hand. "Look, uh, let's not get bogged down on the details, okay?"

"Yeah, because that didn't sound suspicious at all." I narrowed my eyes at him, crossing my arms over my chest. "You stole them, didn't you?"

"W-What?" he stuttered, trying to appear innocent and nonchalant. "Of course not!"

"Yup," I confirmed, popping the 'p' as I tugged on the costume's mask that shielded my mouth from view, "he definitely stole them."

"Do you even have a plan, dobe?" Sasuke inquired, shooting the blond an unimpressed look.

"Aha!" Naruto raised a fist into the air energetically, either excited to answer that particular question or grateful for the distraction. "We're gonna strip off the mask, by force if we have to!"

Now, I'm going to be honest here. Did I think this plan was going to work? No, no, I did not. But did I go along with it anyway because I was tired, drained, and had no other better ideas? Yes, yes, I did.

And that was how we ended up approaching our sensei, clad in our stolen and oversized disguises. He was hammering nails down into a fence –the only one of us who was actually doing what our assigned mission required of us– but Naruto's shouting distracted him.

"Hey!" the Uzumaki called loudly. "Kakashi Hatake!"

"Huh?" Kakashi-sensei stopped what he was doing to turn around and face us, sending us a look of confusion. As expected, he saw through us immediately; our mouths might've been covered by the disguises, but our eyes weren't, and bits of our hair were sticking out of the hood. And that, paired with the fact that we were wearing oversized clothes and the fact that Naruto hadn't even bothered to try to change his voice, didn't make it very hard for him to guess who we were. "What are the four of you up to?"

"W-What are you talking about?!" Naruto exclaimed, immediately panicking. "We're just four wandering ninja! It's not like we wanna see what's behind your mask or anything–"

Sakura cut him off by shoving him forward roughly, making him faceplant with the dirt.

"Oh, but when I do it, I get a whole plate shoved into my face," I said under my breath, huffing bitterly as I crossed my arms over my chest. "I see how this works. Where is the equality?"

"If it's equality you're after, I'll push you myself," Sasuke offered easily.

I scowled at him. "Fight me, jerk!"

He reached over and flicked my ear, making me wince and clutch at it, while he smirked at me smugly. "I win."

Meanwhile, less than two feet away from us, Sakura was still busy chewing Naruto out. "You idiot!" she barked, while he groaned and pushed himself up from off the floor. "Don't say any more than you have to!"

"...Uh-huh." Kakashi-sensei raised an eyebrow and placed a hand underneath his chin, staring at us in a way that reassured me he thought we were all a bunch of weirdos. "Is anyone going to tell me what's going on, or...?" His voice trailed off, and I chuckled nervously.

"Aha, well, um, you see..." I scratched the back of my head as I wracked my brain for some sort of appropriate response. When I couldn't find one, I gave up and immediately went to plan B, which was –you guessed it– straight-up violence. "...ah, screw it."

And then I lunged at him, my teammates joining in not even a second too late after me. It probably would've worked, too, had it not been for one minor detail: our sensei, in addition to being a total psychopath, was also unfairly strong, which I only just remembered after I had made the extremely poor decision to attack him when he was A), completely focused on us, B), not wearing baggy clothes that tripped him up like we were, and C) still holding a hammer in his hand.

It was no surprise, then, that we got our asses handed to us embarrassingly fast. Four against one might've been an advantage in our regular clothing, but in these outfits, it was more of a curse than anything. I was pretty sure that Naruto tripped over his own pants at one point, and then I'd tripped over him and barreled into Sasuke and Sakura, and then we were all just kind of in this awkward heap for a bit, and it just really wasn't pretty.

I'll spare you guys the gritty details –mainly because I don't want to relive them myself– but just know that it was brutal, quick, and completely embarrassing for all of us.

Kakashi-sensei ended up incapacitating us without breaking a sweat. And if him beating the crap out of us in less than five minutes wasn't bad enough, he also tied us up –and to each other, no less– with a rope, because that was just the kind of sweet and caring sensei he was. Note the sarcasm.

"Hold it right there! Kakashi, it's time you paid for your transgressions!"

For a moment, I thought I was hallucinating the sudden appearance of three men I'd never seen before –after all, Kakashi had knocked us all around pretty hard– but nope, I wasn't. The men were real, and they also happened to be wearing the exact same outfits we were currently sporting, meaning they were the ones Naruto had stolen our disguises from.

The one in the middle, who I assumed was the leader, was the one who had spoken. He was striking a strange pose, his two henchmen on either side of him striking poses of their own. And while I was sure they were trying to look cool, they looked more ridiculous than anything.

I had no idea who they were or what they wanted, but right now I was both exhausted and still kind of suffering from getting my ass handed to me, so it was safe to say I didn't really care to know, either. But since I was still too dazed to form any coherent words, I just sat there and watched it all unfold.

"The price is death!" the leader of the trio continued on, which, if you asked me, just seemed to be a little overdramatic. I mean, seriously, it was like Tuesday, for crying out loud. There was no time for death on a Tuesday. Monday, sure, because Mondays are gross, but Tuesday just didn't add up to me. "Delivered in the form of this elixir, which will make you weep uncontrollably until you– AH!"

He screamed before he could finish his sentence, finally noticing that Kakashi-sensei was holding the four of us above his head casually with one arm. His scream was kind of hilarious, which I would've laughed at if I wasn't still attached to my teammates and not currently being suspended sideways in midair by my crazy sensei.

"That's funny," the silver-haired jonin said, dropping the four of us unceremoniously onto the floor in front of him. We landed in a dazed, tied-up heap, while our sensei dusted off his hands and addressed the trio across from us. "I was wondering how long you fellas were gonna hide for. I see you've finally decided to show yourselves."

The group of men yelped and started backing away. Kakashi-sensei paid them no mind, as he seemed to be more interested in us, if the way he was looking down at us expectantly was any indication.

"First thing's first, though. Minxie, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto– why on Earth are you dressed like that?" he asked us, looking genuinely confused.

Naruto and I stuttered together, fumbling over our words as we tried to come up with some kind of response. In the end, it was Sakura who came to our rescue.

"YOU FOOLS!" the pinkette exclaimed out of nowhere, lifting her arm to point an accusatory finger at the trio of ninja. I was completely confused, but I knew her well enough to trust what she was doing –whatever the hell that was– and so I just remained silent and watched it play out. "You fell right into our trap! We've known all along you were targeting Kakashi-sensei!"

Ah, so that's what she's doing, I thought, my mouth forming a tiny 'o' as I began to nod in understanding. Not bad, S.

Beside me, Sasuke realized what she was doing right away, dark eyes filling with understanding. On my other side, Naruto seemed to be the only one who was still lost, but I'd just explain it to him later. Assuming, of course, we ever got out of these ropes that our amazing sensei had so kindly put us in.

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" the leader of the bunch cried dramatically. "Are you telling me that our machinations were exposed from the very beginning?!"

"Of course!" Sakura answered confidently. "This was all just a rouse to lure you guys out, and you fell for it, hook, line, and sinker!"

The man gasped. "So we were caught up in your web of deception!?"

"We underestimated them because they're kids!" added one of his henchman, pointing his finger into the air.

"Well," Kakashi-sensei began, looking between us and the trio of shinobi a few times, unsure of what to make of the situation. "I'm not really sure I get what's going on around here, but..." He scratched his head in confusion before eventually shrugging, deciding to just go with it. "Whatever."

Slowly, he took a step towards the strange trio of shinobi. At the sight of him approaching them, they immediately started to panic and cowered away in fear, probably because they finally seemed to realize who they were dealing with. I mean, if Kakashi-sensei was able to beat the crap out of his own precious students with no hesitation, then you could just imagine what he'd do to the bunch of rogue ninja who'd outwardly admitted to plotting his demise.

"Please forgive us!" they pleaded, dropping to the floor and bowing to him. "Forgive us!"

Kakashi-sensei stopped directly in front of them, leering forward threateningly. "Words aren't going to help you now..."

Now, I'll admit, that was kind of an unnecessarily dramatic response almost uncharacteristic of our normally easy-going sensei, but I guessed that with how ridiculous the turn of events had become, he was probably just going along with it for the heck of it.

He took care of the ninja trio in an instant, even quicker than he'd dealt with the four of us. They didn't even get to put up a fight before they were incapacitated. Like he'd done with us, he tied them to each other, only he'd left them hanging from top of one of the stables, swinging side to side in a twisted heap like some kind of human yo-yo, which made me suddenly very grateful that he'd just left Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, and I tied to each other regularly. At least we got to sit down.

The men were babbling to themselves, anime tears streaming down their faces as they swayed from side to side in their temporary prison.

In front of them, Kakashi-sensei dusted off his hands before tilting his head at them curiously "Hey, by the way...who are you guys?"

That just made the trio even more upset as they cried together in anguish, like they couldn't believe he didn't even remember them. I, on the other hand, was sitting there and trying to figure out just how things had ended up becoming so odd.

"...What a weird day," Sakura said, apparently sharing my thoughts. "Things went from strange to just completely crazy."

"Yeah, and it wasn't even our fault time this time, either," I said. "I think we're making progress, you guys."

"I guess," muttered Naruto, heaving a sigh. "I just wish we'd made more progress with Operation ELF."

"At this point, we're probably better off just outright asking him what's underneath his mask," Sasuke said offhandedly.

"Huh." I hummed thoughtfully. "You know what, Duck-Butt? You might be onto something there."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "I didn't mean that as an actual suggestion, loser."

"Well, duh, I know that, but nothing else has worked so far." I shrugged. "What else do we have left to lose?"

"Our dignity?" Naruto guessed.

"Nah," I answered. "I'm pretty sure we lost that the second we all put on these ridiculous disguises."

"Our sanity?" Sakura said. When we all shifted our heads to look at her, she laughed a little at herself. "Right, right, we didn't start with that to begin with."

"So then we're actually doing this?" Sasuke asked.

"Yup," I replied, popping the 'p.' "But first thing's first, we've got to get out of these ropes."

They all nodded in agreement, and together, we cleared our throats before proceeding to shout at the top of our lungs.

"OH, KAKASHI-SENSEEEEEEI!"

~*~

Thankfully, Kakashi-sensei did free us from the ropes once we asked, on the condition that we would stop messing around and actually do the job we were sent here to do. We changed out of those ridiculous costumes and back into our usual ninja outfits and immediately went to work, cleaning up the stables, building fences, and whatever other tasks the farmers needed to be done.

With all of us working together, we were able to complete our mission pretty quickly. The sun had just begun to set by the time we left the farm, the sky above us colored a warm orange.

As we were leaving, Sakura paused to look back at the stables, where the members of the rogue ninja trio were still swinging helplessly in all their human yo-yo glory.

"Kakashi-sensei?" she inquired. "What should we do about those three?"

"Oh, right. Almost forgot about them." The silver-haired jonin looked back at them in a few seconds of brief contemplation before shrugging and pulling out his infamous novel. "Seems to me like they're exactly where they need to be."

That made Naruto, Sakura, and I laugh, while Sasuke smirked. Kakashi-sensei looked up from his book to smile back at us, when suddenly, my eyes lit up as I thought of the perfect joke.

"Guess you could say Kakashi-sensei really left them hanging!" I exclaimed, bursting into laughter at my own joke. "Get it, hanging? Since they're hanging like a yo-yo? It's a pun!"

All of my teammates groaned and moved away from me, picking up their bags, while I continued to laugh. When they didn't join in, I forced myself to stop so I could look at them with my hands on my hips.

"What? Why are you all walking away? That was a good one! I'm funny!" I insisted, but they apparently didn't want to hear it. They continued walking away, muttering amongst themselves something that I was sure would offend me if I actually heard it. I let them go, until I realized that they weren't stopping. I squeaked, snatching up my bag and throwing it on my back before running after them. "Hey, hold up! Wait for me!"

I quickly caught up with them, and though they did make sure to complain about my horrible pun-making (clearly, they have no idea what real talent is, but anyway), they didn't stop me from falling into sync with their steps.

We'd been walking together for a few calm minutes of silence before we all shared a look and nodded, deciding that it was time. Clearing my throat, I put my hands behind my back and knotted my fingers together before turning towards our sensei.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei?" I called out, slowing my steps to a halt.

Kakashi-sensei stopped walking and looked up from his book, gaze resting on me and eyebrow raising in question. "Yeah?"

"What are you hiding under that mask?" Naruto asked bluntly, peering up at the older man curiously.

"Huh?" Kakashi-sensei lowered his book even more so he could look at all of us properly. "You wanna know what's behind my mask?"

"Yeah!" I answered quickly, nodding my head.

"You should've just said so in the first place," he said easily.

"So does that mean you'll show us?!" Sakura asked excitedly.

"Sure, I don't mind," he replied casually, snapping his book shut. We immediately all flocked to him, eagerly forming a tiny circle around him, eyes peeled for the big reveal. He chuckled a little at our reaction, putting his book away. "What's the big deal?"

What's the big deal? What's the big deal!? Nearly three days we spent in the name of Operation ELF, buying him lunch, following him around, putting on ridiculous disguises, and driving ourselves crazy just to find out what's underneath that mask, and he's going to stand there and act like it's not a big deal!? The nerve! The audacity! The complete, unmitigated gall– and oh, sweet petunia, he's reaching for the mask. Okay, rant over. This is way more important.

"All right..." His left hand hovered over his mask, fingers just beginning to peel at the edge of the fabric. "Behind this mask..."

My heart was beating so fast, I was surprised it hadn't jumped right out of my chest. I was so excited I even held my breath, for fear that breathing at all might ruin the moment. I was probably going to pass out, but who cared? This was it! All the stress we'd experienced in the past couple of days had paid off! And now, finally, the moment we'd all been waiting for! The day we completed Operation ELF and got to see what our beloved sensei was really hiding underneath that mask!

I was practically shaking with anticipation. Be cool, Minxie, be cool. So what, I was finally seeing the face of my sensei for the first time ever and having my curiosity satiated after so long of knowing him and wondering what he really looked like. No big deal. I was prepared for this. I was freakin' ready.

"Behind that mask...?" Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, and I chorused together, leaning forward with wide eyes as we watched him closely.

"...is another mask!" Kakashi-sensei finished brightly, pulling down his mask to reveal a second one, completely identical to the first. "Pretty cool, huh?"

I screamed. I completely, full-on, just straight-up screamed. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke screamed, too, but mine was more distinct, falling somewhere between a distraught cry of anguish and a helpless yodel. Think Sandy from Spongebob when she was singing about missing Texas, only if she had found out that same day that Texas had never been real to begin with. That was what the noise I made sounded like.

For the third time in the course of three days, I felt myself going through all five stages of grief in a span of five seconds, only this time I cycled through them about four separate times in rapid succession, each time skipping over the final stage of acceptance. It wasn't until lucky cycle five that I actually made it to acceptance, which resulted in me just straight-up collapsing to the floor. And as I fell, I came to accept a total of three things.

#1: Masks are the devil. I'd never had anything against masks before, but now I sure as hell did and most likely always would, because masks were simply, after today, no longer acceptable to me. So from here on out, completely and without a doubt, masks are officially cancelled.

And whoever in Konoha decided that masks should be a thing and manufactured them –better yet, whoever made masks so deceptively thin that they could be layered on top of one another and said they could be worn in such a fashion with no consideration for all the teenagers they might make have a mental breakdown in a situation like this because of it– they could all, and I mean this with all my heart, choke.

#2: This was not my fault. Because truly, it wasn't, and it wasn't my teammates' fault, either. And honestly? We deserved better. All our planning, all the time we put into Operation ELF, all the stress we underwent as a result of it– it shouldn't have been wasted, but it was. Only there was no way we could've known there was a second mask there that whole time, and there was nothing we could do to fix that or change it, because of #3.

#3: Kakashi-sensei is a sadistic nutjob. People in Konoha called Ibiki-sensei the sadist, but after today, I knew for a fact he had nothing on Kakashi-sensei. The silver-haired jonin may act all kind and aloof, but secretly, he's crazy, and there's like an eighty percent chance he's plotting your demise at all times.

It was enough to make me ready to transfer from Team 7 altogether, if it weren't for my other teammates, who were experiencing a similar state of distress. So, I'm just putting it out there right now, if in the future I ever lose my mind or just spontaneously combust into flames, it's my sensei's fault. Because Kakashi-sensei is, for lack of a better term, a trick ass bitch.

My only comfort after the not-so-big reveal was that Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura had fallen right along with me, while Kakashi-sensei, like the sadist he is, laughed at us. In the end, it was Naruto's voice that carried over all of ours, expressing the same sentiment we were all feeling in that moment.

"Are you freaking kidding me!? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ENDING IS THAT!?"