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THEN
From 5.01 - Sympathy for the Devil: In St. Mary's Convent, a brilliant white light flowed from the central point of the pattern of blood, creating the vortex of a door.
Sam: (voice over from 5.03 - Free to Be You and Me) "Catty broke the first Seal. Scar and I broke the last."
From 5.03 - Free to Be You and Me: In Sam's motel room, Octavia morphed into Lucifer.
Scarlett: (voice over from 5.03 - Free to Be You and Me) "Catty, Sam and I started the Apocalypse."
From 5.02 - Good God, Y'All!: In Bobby's hospital room, Octavia looked at Sam, Dean, Catty, Ness, Scarlett, Angelos, Castiel and Bobby. "I have to find God. I have to prove that I am still with the Angels, or I will be put to death. Again."
From 5.01 - Sympathy for the Devil: In St. Mary's Convent, Octavia looked as if she was trying to teleport out of the convent herself, but couldn't go anywhere. She turned to watch the white light build and build, shielding her head, burning away with the light.
Octavia: (voice over from 5.04 - The End) "I am so tired of doing what the Angels say when it does more harm than good."
From 5.04 - The End: In Sam's motel room, Sam and Octavia sat on the bed.
Octavia looked at him. "Sam, wouldn't it pay to have someone on the inside?"
Sam raised his eyebrows in surprised amusement. "Are you seriously suggesting that you be a double agent?"
Octavia shook her head, smiling a small smile. "Your words. Not mine. Some Angels have been known to..."
"Be together?" Sam finished. Octavia nodded. "And are you one of them?"
"There has been one," Octavia answered. Sam nodded cautiously. "He's dead."
Sam hesitated. "Oh. Wow. I'm sorry, Ava."
From 5.03 - Free to Be You and Me: In the cabin, Raphael was trapped in a circle of Holy Fire.
"Raphael, where is He?" Castiel asked.
"God?" Raphael asked. "He's dead, Castiel."
From 5.03 - Free to Be You and Me: In Sam's motel room, Octavia morphed into Lucifer. "You know who I am."
"Lucifer," Sam answered.
"You're the one, Sam," Lucifer told him. "You're my true vessel."
"That'll never happen," Sam told him.
From 5.01 - Sympathy for the Devil: In John's Lockup, Zachariah looked at Catty. "You're the Michael sword."
Catty glared at Zachariah. "What do you mean, I'm the sword?"
"You're Michael's weapon," Zachariah told her.
"I'm a vessel?" Catty asked.
"You're the vessel," Zachariah told her.
From 2.15 - Tall Tales: Outside Crawford Hall, a bright beam of light shot down, grabbing Curtis the jock like a tractor beam, pulling him closer to it. Curtis flailed wildly, screaming.
From 3.11 - Mystery Spot: In the alley, Catty pinned Ed Coleman against a fence, pressing a stake dipped in blood against his throat. Ed morphed into the Trickster.
Bobby: (voice over from 2.15 - Tall Tales) "You got a Trickster on your hands."
From 2.15 - Tall Tales: In the hotel room, Dean looked at Ness and Bobby. "So, what is it? Spirit, Demon, what?"
"Well, more like Demigods, really," Bobby answered.
From 2.15 - Tall Tales: In the auditorium, the Trickster's fake body shimmered, disappearing. The real Trickster took a bite of his chocolate bar, smiling.
Bobby: (voice over from 2.15 - Tall Tales) "They're immortal, and they can create things out of thin air."
From 2.15 - Tall Tales: In the hotel room, Ness looked at Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty. "Usually with a sense of humor. Deadly pranks, things like that."
From 2.15 - Tall Tales: In the Trickster's Apartment, the kitchen was covered in lavish sweets. Two scantily clad women appeared on either side of the Trickster.
Dean: (voice over from 2.15 - Tall Tales) "Another thing Bobby and Ness mentioned was that these suckers have a real sweet tooth."
From 3.11 - Mystery Spot: There were flashes of all the ways that the Trickster had made Sam, Scarlett and Dean die.
Catty: (voice over from 3.11 - Mystery Spot) "So this is fun for you? Killing Sam, Scar and Dean over and over again?"
From 3.11 - Mystery Spot: In the Mystery Spot, The Trickster looked at Catty. "Cat, there's a lesson here."
"What lesson?" Catty asked.
"Scarlett, Sam and Dean are your weakness," the Trickster told her. "The bad guys know it, too. They're going to be the death of you, Catty."
Catty didn't answer.
NOW
§
Supernatural Sit Com
Morning - Sun'n Sands Motel - Outside
The color was too bright. It looked like a comedy sit com.
Ness: (voice over) "'Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience."
§
Motel Room
Dean put some things in a refrigerator, closing the fridge, turning around. There was applause. There was a sandwich on the table, about a foot tall.
Dean looked at the sandwich. "I'm gonna need a bigger mouth." Sam, Scarlett and Catty walked in. There was applause. "Hey, there, Sam. Catty, Scar, what's happening?"
"Oh, nothing," Catty told him in a forced bright tone. "Just the end of the world." There was a laugh track. Catty saw the large sandwich. "You're gonna need a bigger mouth."
There was a laugh track.
"Hey, uh, have you done your research yet?" Sam asked.
Dean got a 'busted' expression. There was a laugh track.
"Oh, yeah," Dean told them unconvincingly. "All kinds of research. All night."
"Yeah?" Scarlett asked, unconvinced. "Hmm."
The bathroom door opened.
Ness walked into the main room, having a three piece top high waist cover up. The top-like bra was black. The bottoms was dark pink floral, receiving wolf whistles. "Oh, Dean..." They looked toward her. "We have some more 'research' to do."
Sam crossed his arms over his chest, seeming to disapprove. "Ness?"
Catty shook her head, clicking her tongue. "Dess, Dess, Dess... you got some 'splanin' to do."
There was a laugh track.
"Son of a bitch!" Dean told them light-heartedly.
There was a laugh track.
§
Title Sequence
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty were in a house at night, looking around the empty house. All captions were in the Full House font.
§ Worlds Colliding (Supernatural) §
Lyrics: "Town to town, two-lane roads, family biz."
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty backed into each other, startled, turning around, busting out laughing.
Lyrics: "Living a lie just to get by."
Sam opened a cabinet. A white-sheeted 'Ghost' waggled at Sam. Sam closed the cabinet, standing against the door.
Starring: Jared Padalecki As Sam Winchester
Lyrics: "As long as we're moving forward."
Outside, Dean was working on the Impala, wiping his forehead, smearing grease against his forehead. Ness stood nearby, pointing at Dean, laughing. Dean looked at his hand, laughing.
Jensen Ackles As Dean Winchester
Lyrics: "There's nothing we can't do / Together we'll face the day."
In a park, Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty rode on a four-seated bike.
Lyrics: "You and I won't run away."
Sam and Dean raced on absurdly small motorcycles. Catty stood nearby next to the red classic Mustang, leaning against the hood, watching them, looking into the camera, smiling.
Amber Heard As Catty Winchester
Dressed as a schoolgirl, Scarlett was dancing around, smiling happily.
Selena Gomez as Scarlett Winchester
Ness stood behind Dean, wrapping her arms around his neck, smiling, kissing him passionately and sweetly. Dean smiled, unwrapping Ness' arms from around his neck so he could turn to face her. They kissed more passionately.
Ashley Greene As Ness Singer
Catty was doing tricks with two butterfly knives, flipping them through the air, showing off to Castiel, losing control of one of them. The knife soared toward Castiel. Castiel used magic to deflect the knife, making it wedge into the tree behind him. Catty covered her mouth with her hands in shock, guilty. Castiel looked at Catty, as if unsurprised, but a little amused. Catty smiled sheepishly, embracing Castiel apologetically, which he returned.
Misha Collins As Castiel
Octavia was using Angelic power to create a wind that soared around the park, closing her eyes, holding her arms out as if like wings, smiling freely. She turned around, seeing Sam shaking his head in amusement, smiling, kissing him on the cheek. Sam smiled as if shock.
Holland Roden As Octavia
Scarlett and Angelos were juggling with Scarlett's knives and Angelos's Angel Blades, eventually losing control of them. Angelos used magic to make the blades and knives freeze in the air so that they wouldn't hurt Scarlett. They both smiled, embracing.
Chace Crawford As Angelos
Lyrics: "When the Demons come out to play."
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty fell backwards onto the ground. Ness was watching, laughing, smiling.
Guest Starring: Richard Speight, Jr. As The Trickster
In the motel room, Sam, Dean, Ness, Scarlett and Catty all held half-eaten burgers, clinking beer bottles together, looking into the camera, grinning.
Created by
Creators of Supernatural
heartofice97
mysticfalls1997
TVDlover97
Katherinep97
Lyrics: "Together we'll face the day."
§
Two Days Earlier
Wellington, Ohio
Day - Hospital - Hallway
(Song) Move You - Anya Marina
Several medical personnel exited an elevator.
Woman: (on PA) "All on-duty interns please report to station five south. All on-duty interns please report to station five south."
A doctor and a nurse walked into the elevator.
§
Elevator
The moment the doors closed, the doctor and nurse began to kiss hungrily. The doctor pushed her against the wall.
(End of Song)
§
Reality
Day One
Morning - Motel Room
The hospital scene was on the TV. Dean was sitting on the bed, watching, rapt, in a suit. The motel room looked exactly like the one from the comedy sit com, only less clean, less well-maintained, and in less vivid colors.
Scarlett was standing nearby, in a suit, looking from the TV to Dean in confusion. "What are you watching?"
"Hospital show," Dean answered. "Dr. Sexy, MD. I think it's based on a book."
"When did you hit menopause?" Catty asked, also in a suit.
"It's called channel surfing," Dean told them, standing, turning the TV off. Sam grabbed his suit jacket off the other bed, putting it on. "You ready?"
"Are you?" Sam replied.
Dean grabbed his keys, walking out.
§
Sheriff's Station
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty posed as FBI for a police officer.
"One more time," a police officer told them. "The FBI is here, why, exactly?"
"Might have something to do with one of your locals getting his head ripped off," Catty told him with honest sarcasm.
"Bill Randolph died from a bear attack," the officer told them.
"How sure are you that it was a bear?" Scarlett asked.
"What else would it be?" the officer asked.
"Well, whatever it was, it chased Mr. Randolph through the woods, smashed through his front door, followed him up the stairs, and killed him in his bedroom," Dean told him. "Is that common, a bear doing all that?"
"Depends how pissed off it is, I guess," the officer told them. "Look, the Randolphs live way up in the high country. You got trout runs to make a grown man weep. And bears."
"Right," Sam told them. "Now, what about Mrs. Randolph? The file says she saw the whole thing."
"Yes, she did," the officer told them. "My heart goes out to that poor woman."
"She said bear?" Catty asked.
"Kathy Randolph went through a hell of a trauma," the officer told them. "She's confused."
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty exchanged a look.
Scarlett looked at the officer. "What did she say?"
§
Interview Room
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty were talking to a woman in the interview room. Catty and Scarlett were sitting across from the woman. Sam was standing behind Catty and Scarlett. Dean was pacing.
"No, it must have been a bear," the woman. "I mean, what else could it have been?"
"Mrs. Randolph, what do you think it was?" Sam asked.
"No, I--I remember clearly now," Kathy told them. "It was definitely a bear."
"We're sure it was," Dean told her. "But, see, it helps us to hear every angle. So, just tell us what you thought you saw."
"It's impossible, but..." Kathy trailed off. "I could have sworn I saw... the Incredible Hulk."
Catty raised her eyebrows. "The Incredible Hulk?"
"I told you it was crazy," Kathy told them.
"Bana or Norton?" Scarlett asked.
"Oh, no, those movies were terrible," Kathy told them. "The TV Hulk."
"Lou Ferrigno?" Scarlett asked.
"Yes," Kathy answered.
"Spiky-hair Lou Ferrigno?" Dean asked.
"Yes," Kathy answered.
"Huh," Dean told them.
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty exchanged a look.
"You think I'm crazy," Kathy told them.
"No," Catty told her. "Uh, no, it's just... Is there, uh... Would there be any reason that Lou Ferrigno, the Incredible Hulk, would have a grudge against your husband?"
"No," Kathy answered.
Catty looked at Scarlett, Sam and Dean. "No."
§
Motel Room
Catty was at her laptop, wearing normal clothes, looking at an article in the Wellington Guardion about a "Local man killed in bear attack". The door opened. Catty looked up to see Scarlett, Sam and Dean walking in, all wearing normal clothes.
"Hey," Sam told her.
"Find anything?" Catty asked.
"Well, uh, we saw the house," Scarlett told her.
"And?" Catty asked.
"And there is a giant eight-foot-wide hole where the front door used to be," Dean answered. "Almost like, uh--"
"A Hulk-sized hole," Catty finished.
"Maybe," Sam told them. He looked at Catty. "What do you got?"
"Well, it turns out that Bill Randolph had quite the temper," Catty told them. "He's got two counts of spousal battery, bar brawls, and court-ordered anger management sessions. You might say you wouldn't like him when he's angry."
"So a hot-head getting killed by TV's greatest hot-head," Sam told them. "Kinda sounds like just desserts, doesn't it?" Catty and Scarlett scoffed, nodding. "It's all starting to make sense."
"How is it starting to make sense?" Dean asked.
"Well, Dean, while you and Sam were checking out the front door, I found these in the bedroom," Scarlett told them, pulling a handful of candy wrappers out of her pocket. "Candy wrappers." She dropped them on the table in front of Catty. "Lots of them."
"Just desserts, sweet tooth, screwing with people before you kill them," Dean told them. "We're dealing with the Trickster, aren't we?"
"Sure looks like it," Scarlett answered.
Catty stood. "Good. I've wanted to gank that son of a bitch since Mystery Spot."
"You sure?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure," Catty answered.
"No, I mean, are you sure you wanna kill him?" Sam asked.
"Son of a bitch didn't think twice about icing you, Scar and me a thousand times, Sam," Dean told him.
"More than that, actually," Catty told them.
"No, I know, I mean, I'm just saying--" Sam started.
"What are you saying?" Scarlett asked. "If you don't want to kill him, then what?"
"Talk to him," Sam answered.
"What?" Dean asked.
"Think about it, Dean," Sam told him. "He's one of the most powerful creatures we've ever met. Maybe we can use him."
"For what?" Scarlett asked.
"Okay, Trickster's like a Hugh Hefner type, right?" Sam asked. "Wine, women, song. Maybe he doesn't want the party to end. Maybe he hates this Angels and Demons stuff as much as we do. Maybe he'll help us."
"You're serious?" Scarlett asked what sounded like a statement.
"Yeah," Sam answered.
"Ally with the Trickster?" Catty asked.
"Yeah," Sam answered.
"A bloody, violent monster, and you wanna be Facebook friends with him?" Catty asked. "Nice, Sammy."
"The world is gonna end, Catty," Dean told her. "We don't have the luxury of a moral stand."
Sam sighed. "Look, I'm just saying it's worth a shot. That's all. If it doesn't work, we'll kill him."
Dean sighed. "How are we gonna find the guy, anyway?"
"Well, he never takes just one victim, right?" Scarlett asked. "He'll show."
§
Later
Catty was sharpening a wooden stake. Sam was sitting at the table staring at the police scanner. Dean and Scarlett were lying on the beds. A voice came across the scanner.
Officer: (on radio) "Um, Dispatch? I--I got a possible 187 out here at the old paper mil on Route 6."
"Hey," Scarlett told them.
Dean sat up. Catty stopped working on the stake, focusing on the scanner.
Dispatch: (on radio) "Roger that. What are you looking at there, son?"
Officer: (on radio) "Honestly, Walt, I--I wouldn't even know how to describe what I'm seeing. Just--send everybody."
Dispatch: (on radio) "All right, stay calm, stay by your car. Help's on the way."
Sam turned off the scanner.
"That sounds weird," Dean told them.
Catty nodded. "Weird enough to be our guy."
§
Warehouse - Outside
Sam, Catty, Scarlett and Dean got out of the Impala. No one else was in sight.
"There was a murder here, and there's no police cars," Catty told them. "There's nobody. How's that look to you?"
"Crappy," Scarlett answered.
They walked toward the trunk, opening it. Dean pulled four takes and four flashlights out of the trunk, handing one of each to Scarlett, Sam and Catty, keeping one of each for himself, closing the trunk. They walked inside.
§
Hospital - Hallway
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty were all dressed as doctors. They had no weapons.
(Song) Not a Through Street - Anya Marina
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty looked around in confusion.
"What the hell?" Dean asked.
A blonde doctor and an Asian doctor walked by.
"Doctor," the blonde told her.
"Doctor," the Asian doctor told her.
They walked away, leaving.
"Doctor?" Sam repeated.
Catty opened the door they had just entered through to reveal a janitor's closet where a couple were making out, closing the door, turning away, confused and anxious. Ness turned away from the receptionist's desk, dressed as a doctor, approaching them. They looked at her in confusion.
"Ness?" Dean asked.
"Doctor," Ness told him, slapping Dean in the face, turning his head away.
Dean looked at Ness in surprise. "Ow!"
"Seriously?" Ness asked.
"What?" Dean asked.
"Seriously?" Ness asked. "You're brilliant, you know that? And a coward. You're a brilliant coward."
"Um, what are you talking about?" Dean asked.
Ness slapped Dean in the face, turning his head to the side. "As if you don't know."
Ness walked away, leaving.
Dean watched her go in confusion. He started to realize, looking as if he was seeing a dream came true. "I don't believe this."
"What?" Catty asked.
Dean looked at the sign behind the receptionist's desk, gesturing at it. "Seattle Mercy Hospital."
"Dean," Catty told him. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"The doctor getups," Dean told them. "The--the sexy interns. The 'seriously's. It all makes sense."
"What makes sense?" Scarlett asked. "What's going on?"
"We're in Dr. Sexy, MD," Dean told them.
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty looked around in shocked confusion.
(End of Song)
§
Dr. Sexy MD
Sam, Dean and Catty walked through the hospital corridors.
"Dudes, what the hell?" Catty asked.
"I don't know," Scarlett told them.
"No, seriously, what the hell?" Catty asked.
"I don't know," Dean told them.
"One theory," Catty told them. "Any theory."
"Uh, the Trickster trapped us in TV Land," Sam suggested.
"That's your theory?" Dean asked. "That's stupid."
"You're the one who said we're on Dr. Sexy, MD," Sam reminded him.
"Yeah, but TV Land isn't TV Land," Dean told them. "I mean there's actors, and--and lights, and crew members, you know. This looks real."
"It can't be," Scarlett told them. "How can this possibly be real?"
"I don't know," Dean told them.
The Asian doctor walked past them. "Doctors."
The Asian doctor continued on, leaving.
"There goes Dr. Wang," Dean told them. "The sexy but arrogant heart surgeon." He looked around at a brunette doctor. "That's Dr. Ellen Piccolo. The sexy yet earnest doctor."
"Okay, if all of these people are from Dr. Sexy MD, what's the deal with you being bitch slapped by Ness?" Catty asked.
Dean looked around. "Well, I don't see Johnny Drake. He's a Ghost, but he's like a guide to..." He saw another brunette doctor. "To her, the sexy yet neurotic doctor over there. Ness must be in his place. Makes sense, because he sucks at his job. Our Ness excels at her job as a hunter. That Ness doesn't make any sense."
"So, this show has Spiritual Guides?" Scarlett asked. "Why?"
"I don't know," Dean told them. "It's compelling."
"I thought you said you weren't a fan," Sam told him.
"I'm not," Dean told them. "I'm not." He saw something, staring down the hall. "Oh, boy."
"What?" Catty asked.
"It's him," Dean told them.
"Who?" Scarlett asked.
A male doctor with long, brunette hair walked toward them.
"It's him," Dean told them. "It's Dr. Sexy."
Dr. Sexy stopped next to them, looking at Dean. "Doctor."
Dean looked down, hiding a smile. "Doctor."
Dr. Sexy looked at Sam. "Doctor."
Sam nodded. Dean hit Sam on the shoulder.
Sam looked at Dr. Sexy. "Doctor."
Dr. Sexy looked at Scarlett. "Doctor."
Dean gave Scarlett a light push in the shoulder.
Scarlett rolled her eyes, looking at Dr. Sexy. "Doctor."
Dr. Sexy looked at Catty. "Doctor."
Dean gave Catty a look.
Catty looked at Dr. Sexy. "Doctor." Dr. Sexy pushed Catty against the wall lightly. "Whoa--"
Dr. Sexy silenced Catty with a kiss. Catty was too surprised to do anything to stop it. Sam, Scarlett and Dean exchanged a look of surprise, looking at them.
Dean looked down to see that Dr. Sexy was wearing white tennis shoes, pulling him away from Catty, pushing him against the wall angrily. "You're not Dr. Sexy."
"You're crazy," Dr. Sexy told him.
"Really?" Dean asked. "Because I swore part of what makes Dr. Sexy sexy is the fact that he wears cowboy boots. Not tennis shoes."
"Yeah," Sam told him sarcastically. "You're not a fan."
"It's a guilty pleasure," Dean told them.
Dr. Sexy looked at the others in the hall. "Call security."
"Yeah, go ahead, pal," Scarlett told him. "See, we know who you are."
Dr. Wang, the blonde doctor, and a security guard approached them. They and the other extras all froze-frame.
Dean, Sam, Scarlett, Dr. Sexy and Catty were the only ones still moving.
Dr. Sexy smiled, morphing into the Trickster. "You guys are getting better!" Catty pushed away from the wall in disgust, wiping her lips with the back of her hand. The Trickster looked at Catty, chuckling. "What's the matter, Catty? Cat got your tongue? Or did I?"
Catty turned to face the Trickster, pointing at him. "I hate you."
"I know you do," the Trickster told her, grinning.
"Get us the hell out of here," Dean told him.
"Or what?" the Trickster asked. He grabbed Dean's arm, twisting, hurting him. "Don't see you have wooden stakes, big guy."
"That was you on the police scanner, right?" Sam asked. "This is a trick."
The Trickster gestured to himself. "Hello? Trickster. Come on! I heard you three yahoos were in town. How could I resist?"
The Trickster looked at Catty, winking. Catty rolled her eyes, looking away.
"Where the hell are we?" Scarlett asked.
"Like it?" the Trickster asked. "It's all homemade. My own sets." He knocked on the window in a nearby door. "My own actors." He gestured around to all the frozen extras. "Call it my own little idiot box."
"How do we get out?" Scarlett asked.
"That, my friends, is the 64 dollar question," the Trickster told them.
"Whatever," Sam told him. "We just--We need to talk to you. We need your help."
"Hmm, let me guess," the Trickster told them. "You four mutton heads broke the world, and you want me to sweep up your mess."
"Please," Sam told him. "Just five minutes. Hear us out."
"Sure," the Trickster told them. "Tell you what. Survive the next 24 hours, we'll talk. I'll even throw in someone that you're used to to help this along a little bit faster. It's not really Ness, but you get the idea. Ness can help you survive."
Ness stepped out from behind the wall, smiling.
"Survive what?" Catty asked.
"The game," Ness answered.
"What game?" Catty asked.
"You're in it," Ness told them.
"How do we play?" Scarlett asked.
"You're playing it," Ness told them.
"What are the rules?" Scarlett asked.
Ness and the Trickster exchanged an amused look.
The Trickster looked at Catty, Scarlett, Dean and Sam. "Tell you what. You're stuck here as long as I want you to be. And that's until you figure the game out. So when you're ready, just let little Ness here know, and I'll be right on down. Because until then, I think I can find something else to do with the time."
The Trickster raised his eyebrows, smiling, winking, kissing the hallucination of Ness to get on Dean's nerves, making Dean glare at him in annoyance and look away, smirking, vanishing in a burst of static.
Dean sighed. "Oh, son of a bitch." He looked at Sam. "Oh, by the way. Talking with monsters? Hell of a plan."
"Just--what do we do now?" Scarlett asked.
"You know what I'm doing?" Catty asked. "Leaving."
The extras-unpaused. Everything started again. Ness was back in character of the doctor. She walked closer, trying to slap Dean in the face.
Dean ducked. "Ness, what the hell?"
"It's not Ness," Sam told them. "It's just Trickster!Ness, I guess."
Ness looked at Dean. "You are a brilliant, brilliant--"
"Yeah," Dean told her. "A coward. You already said that. But I got news for you. I am not a doctor."
(Song) Something Real - Renee Stahl
Ness looked at Dean with tears in her eyes. "Don't say that. You are the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met, and I have met plenty. So that girl died on your table. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. Sometimes people just die."
"I have no idea what you're saying to me," Dean told her.
"You're afraid," Ness told him, lying a hand on Dean's arm, stepping closer. "You're afraid to operate again. And you're afraid to love."
Ness walked away, crying, leaving.
"Yeah, we're getting out of here," Scarlett told them.
A man walked toward them. "Hey. Doctor."
Sam turned to face the man. "Yeah?"
"My wife needs that face transplant," the man told him.
"Okay," Sam told him. "You know what, pal? None of this is real, and your wife doesn't need jack squat. Okay?"
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty continued to walk away.
"Hey, Doctor," the man told him, raising a gun, shooting Sam in the back.
Sam looked at the man incredulously, falling to his knees. "Real! It's real."
The man started to run away. Dean and Scarlett ran after the man.
Catty knelt next to Sam. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hey! We need a doctor!"
Catty looked around frantically.
(End of Song)
§
Operating Room
Sam was face-down on an operating table, staring through the head rest at several pairs of white tennis shoes. Dr. Wang passed an operating instrument to another doctor. Dean, Scarlett and Catty were dressed in operating scrubs, as was everyone else in the room. Dean was holding something absorbent against Sam's injury with a pair of tweezers, handing the tweezers to another doctor, pressing an anything blood-stained cloth to the injury.
"BP is eight over fifty and dropping," the blonde doctor told them.
Dr. Wang looked at Dean, holding out a scalpel. "Doctor."
"What?" Dean asked.
Dr. Wang and the blonde doctor exchanged a look.
"Dean," Scarlett told him. "Do something. Come on."
Dean whispered to Sam, Scarlett and Catty so no one else heard. "I don't know how to use any of this crap."
"Figure it out," Catty told him.
Dean looked at the other doctors, smiling awkwardly.
Sam groaned. "Dean. Come on. We're waiting."
"Okay," Dean told them. "Um, I need a penknife, some dental floss, a sewing needle, and a fifth of whiskey."
(Song) I Love to See You Happy - Robbi Spencer
Catty looked at the ceiling, muttering under her breath. "Seriously, where is the music coming from?"
Dean looked at the other doctors. "Stat!"
Everyone started moving, bringing back a Kentucky Bourbon and a thing of dental floss next to the usual surgical tools. Dean's gloved hands were bloody, snipping off the extra floss from Sam's stitches.
"We okay?" Catty asked.
"Yep," Scarlett answered. "He'll be fine."
Dean looked toward Ness outside of the room. Ness mouthed, 'I love you', sighing, smiling. The lighting and texture shifted, the music faded.
(End of Song)
The light started to flash in time with clapping, shouting being heard in the background. The floor had become two doors, which slid apart.
§
Japanese Game Show
Behind the doors were blue-lit smoke.
Ness skipped out of the doors, forward, walking around Catty and Scarlett, between Sam and Dean, in a devil's costume. She had red horns, a red cropped top, a red black-trimmed short skirt, and white leather thigh-high boots. It was almost like a cheerleading outfit.
Sam and Dean were standing in glued shoes to platforms that had a slot for poles with large balls at the ends, in their regular outfits, but in clothes that they hadn't worn at all today.
Catty and Scarlett were standing nearby, in matching outfits to Ness'. They looked over their appearance in confusion. To one side, behind Catty and Scarlett, there was an LED screed that said: 20. Ness was speaking in Japanese, cheering with the crowd.
Dean looked at Sam, Scarlett and Catty in confusion. "Does Ness actually know Japanese, or is it just the game?"
"No, the real Ness actually knows," Sam answered. "She proved that when we saved your ass from the Buru Buru."
Ness continued to speak in Japanese. Silence fell.
Ness pulled out a stack of cards, looking at Sam, smiling. "Sam Winchester." She spoke in Japanese. "Anata ga anata jishin no ani to imōto no ue ni sentaku shita akuma no namae wa nanideshita ka? [What were the names of the Demons you and Scarlett chose over your own brother and sister?] Countdown."
"What?" Sam asked. The screen began to tick down the seconds. "Um, what am I supposed to say?"
"You think we know?" Scarlett asked.
Sam looked at Ness. "Uh, I--I don't--I don't understand Japanese."
Ness repeated the question in Japanese. "Anata to sukāretto ga anata no ani to imōto o eranda akuma no namae wa nanideshita ka? [What were the names of the Demons you and Scarlett chose over your own brother and sister?]"
"Are you screwing with me?" Sam asked. "I--I--I can't speak Japanese."
The screen hit '0'. There was a loud buzz.
Ness spoke in Japanese. "Kotaeha... [The answer is...]" She spoke English. "Ruby and Zane! I'm sorry, Sammy."
"Sorry?" Sam repeated. "Ness? For what?" Ness mimed hiding laughter with her hand, smiling devilishly. "Dean? Catty? Scar?"
The pole on Sam's platform came up, so that ball whacked Sam in the crotch. Dean, Scarlett and Catty looked at Sam in horror.
There was an electronic male voice from the PA. "Nutcracker!"
Ness kicked at the air in front of her, smiling.
"Sam?" Dean asked. Sam made an inarticulate noise. "You okay?"
Sam looked at Dean, Scarlett and Catty in pain. Scarlett and Catty tried to walk toward them.
Ness stepped in their way. "No, no, no. Catty and Scarlett Winchester." She spoke held a bag of chips toward Catty, displaying them for the crowd, speaking Japanese. "Wareware wa korera no eiyōka no takai ebichippusu o giron shita koto ga arimasu ka? [Have we discussed these nutritious Shrimp Chips?]"
"What?" Scarlett asked. "What are you saying?"
Ness continued to speak Japanese. "Eiyō no ōku, subarashī aji... Soshite yori ōku no mono ga chōdo anata no yō, surimu karera ga eru, tabemasu. [Lots of nutrition, tastes great... and the more one eats, the slimmer they get, just like you.]"
Catty and Scarlett were hopelessly confused.
Dean looked at Sam. "You okay?"
Sam just looked at Dean. Dean looked at Sam's platform, then his own, cringing.
Ness continued to speak Japanese to Catty and Scarlett. "Watashi wa korera no oishī okashi o sokushin shite kudasai. [Please help me promote these delicious treats.]"
Catty looked at Scarlett, Dean and Sam. "I'm gonna kill her, I swear to God." She looked at Ness. "What do you want us to do?"
Ness answered in Japanese. "Watashi wa korera no oishī okashi o sokushin. [To help me promote these delicious treats.]"
Catty sighed, shaking her head. "Scar and I have no idea what you're saying to us." Ness offered the bag of chips. Catty took them cautiously, looking at Ness in confusion. Ness nodded, smiling sweetly. Catty took a few chips out, eating a few. "Wow." She looked at Scarlett, Dean and Sam. "These are actually pretty good." She held the bag toward Scarlett. "Try some."
Scarlett tried some. "Mm. Yeah, not bad."
Ness chuckled. "Iya, iya, iya, orokade wanai sorera ni. [No, no, no, not to them, silly.]" She gestured from the crowd to directly in front of them, looking into the camera. "Karera ni. [To them.]"
Scarlett hesitated, looking into the camera, holding up the bag of chips. "Good. Very, very good." Ness gave Scarlett an amused look, tilting her head. "What? Oh, Japanese."
Ness nodded.
Catty hesitated, at a loss, looking over the crowd and the camera. "Yoi. [Good.]"
Scarlett nodded in agreement. "Totemo yoi. [Very good.]" Dean and Sam were in shock. Catty and Scarlett didn't realize what they had just done yet, looking at Ness. "Wareware wa ima iku koto wa dekimasu ka? [Can we go now?]"
Ness chuckled, shaking her head. "Iya, iya, iya. [No, no, no.] Imadani. [Not yet.]" She looked over the crowd. "No wa, sore o kiite mimashou Catty and Scarlett Winchester. [Let's hear it for Catty and Scarlett Winchester.]"
There was applause.
Sam looked at Catty and Scarlett in shock. "How did you do that?"
"How did we do what?" Catty asked.
"Whatever the hell you just did," Dean answered.
Catty hesitated, just realizing what they had done. "Huh. We don't know."
Scarlett shrugged. "We just kinda went along with it, and..." The light on the doors started to flash again. "Oh, now what?"
The doors opened to reveal Castiel and Angelos.
The crowd cheered.
Catty sighed in relief. "Cas?"
Scarlett was also very relieved. "Los."
"Is this another trick?" Sam asked.
Castiel and Angelos walked closer.
"It's us," Castiel told them. He looked between Dean, Sam, Ness, Scarlett and Catty weirdly. "Uh, what are you doing here?"
"Us?" Dean repeated. "What are you and Los doing here?"
"Looking for you," Castiel answered. "You've been missing for days." He looked at Ness. "I know that is not the real Ness, because the real Ness is the one that called me and Los to tell us that you were missing."
"So get us the hell out of here, then," Sam told them.
"Yeah," Angelos agreed, pausing when he noticed the girls' outfits, looking at them in confusion. "What are you wearing?" Castiel and Angelos were confused by the fact Ness, Scarlett and Catty were wearing tight, short devil outfits. "Did Ness--Fake Ness--really have you two wear those?"
Catty and Scarlett were very self-conscious wearing these outfits in front of Castiel and Angelos. Ness giggled, dancing around in her outfit with no shame, very confident.
"Don't ask stupid questions, Los," Scarlett told him. "Just get us out of here."
Castiel and Angelos snapped out of it, looking between the four siblings.
"Right," Angelos agreed. "Let's go."
Castiel walked toward Sam and Dean. Angelos walked toward Catty and Scarlett. They both raised to touch them on the foreheads to try and take them home, but they both disappeared in a burst of static.
"Cas?" Catty asked.
"Los?" Scarlett asked.
Ness walked back to center stage. "No, no, no, no. Mr. Trickster does not like pretty boy Angels." She pulled out another card. "Dean Winchester." She spoke in Japanese. "Anata no haha to chichi wa mada ikite irudarou, to anata no kyōdai ga umarete inakatta baai, anata to anata no imōto wa... Tsūjō no seikatsu o ikite kita nodeshou ka? [Would your mother and father still be alive, and would you and your sisters have lived normal lives... if your brother was never born?] Countdown."
The screen began to tick down the seconds from '20.'
"What do I do?" Dean asked. "What do I do?"
"What?" Sam asked.
"I don't wanna get hit in the nuts," Dean told them.
"I don't know," Sam told them. "I--I, uh, just, uh..."
"Wait," Catty told them.
"What?" Dean asked.
"You played a doctor," Catty told him.
"What?" Dean asked.
"In, uh, in Dr. Sexy, you played a doctor," Catty told him. "You operated."
"So?" Scarlett asked.
"So, Dean played the role the Trickster wanted him to play," Catty answered. "And Ness and the crowd was happy when you and I went on with whatever the hell we just went along with. Maybe we just go along with it."
"Go along with what?" Sam asked.
"With the game," Catty answered.
Scarlett looked at Dean. "You know, we're on a game show, right? So, just answer the question!"
"In Japanese?" Dean asked.
"Yeah," Scarlett answered.
Ness smiled. "Ooh. We're getting warmer."
Dean hesitated. "I have an answer." The countdown froze just before the buzz. Dean spoke in Japanese. "Kotaeha... Hai? [The answer is... Yes?]"
Ness repeated the last few syllables. Dean repeated the last few syllables.
Ness cheered in Japanese. "Jushō! [Winner!] Dean Winchester, Nutcracker Champion!"
The crowd cheered.
"So that's it," Sam told them. "We play our roles, we survive."
"Yeah, but play our roles for how long?" Catty asked.
Dean, Sam, Scarlett and Catty looked at Ness.
Ness smiled mischievously. "That is... a very good question."
Ness looked into the camera, smiling impishly.
§
Commercial
Day - Lake
A woman was doing a yoga pose. "I've got genital herpes."
§
House
An old man sat on a couch. "I've got genital herpes."
§
Basketball Game
A basketball game was going on strong.
Cheerleaders were on the sidelines.
Catty, Scarlett and Ness were three of the cheerleaders. Ness was obviously more into it than Catty and Scarlett were.
Sam and Dean were on the court in basketball uniform.
Sam looked very uncomfortable. "Seriously?"
"We need to play our roles," Dean told him.
Sam sighed. "I know." Catty, Scarlett and Ness continued their routine with the others. Dean went back to the game. Sam looked into the camera. "I've got genital herpes."
§
Lake
The woman sat in another yoga pose. "I try to be responsible."
§
House
The old man looked at another woman. "Did I try?"
§
Basketball Game
Sam sighed, extremely uncomfortable, looking numb. "But now I take twice-daily Herpexia to reduce my chances of passing it on."
§
Lake
The woman looked into the camera. "Ask your doctor about using Herpexia."
§
House
The old man and the other woman were slow dancing.
§
Lake
The woman did other yoga poses.
Ness: (voice over) "Patients should always consult with a physician before using Herpexia. Possible side effects include headache, diarrhea, permanent erectile dysfunction, thoughts of suicide, and nausea."
§
Basketball Game
Sam looked into the camera. "I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the spread of--of genital herpes. And that's a good thing."
Sam went back to the basketball game. The cheerleaders were forming a pyramid at the side of the gym. The Herpexia logo appeared over the pyramid.
§
Comedy Sit Com
Day - Sun 'N Sands Motel - Outside
Ness: (voice over) "We now return to Supernatural."
§
Motel Room
The scene was from the start of the chapter.
"Son of a bitch!" Dean told them light-heartedly.
There was a laugh track and applause.
"Dean, you were supposed to be doing work, not messing around with Ness," Sam told him.
Ness smiled, standing behind Dean, wrapping her arm around him from behind. "But we did do work, Sammy. In depth."
There was a laugh track.
Catty lost her patience, sighing. "All right, Ness, how long do we have to keep doing this?"
Ness let go of Dean. "I don't know, Cat. Have you learned the lesson of the game?"
"Yeah, yeah, we learned the lesson," Scarlett answered. "Just call your boss and get him down here."
Ness smiled. "I don't know if I wanna do that, Scar."
There was a laugh track. The door opened behind Sam, Scarlett and Catty. They turned to see who did it. Octavia walked in, wearing a purple dress with a low cut chest. There was applause and cheers and wolf whistles.
"Octavia?" Sam asked. Octavia looked down at her dress, looking confused. "Ava?"
Octavia pointed at her appearance. "I was not wearing this when I came to look for you."
"Yeah, that's been happening to us a lot in here, too," Catty told her.
There was a laugh track.
"Where are Los and Cas?" Octavia asked.
"Were here, got kicked out by the Trickster," Dean answered.
Octavia shook her head. "No. Cas and Los are nowhere out in the real world. They're in here somewhere." She looked at Ness. "You're not real Ness. The real Ness called me to help look for them. Tell me, did the Trickster create this Ness?"
"Yep," Ness answered, letting her arms swing lightly at her sides. There was a laugh track. "But my boss is actually allowing you to be here, Ava. That should be a compliment. Until he gets here."
Octavia walked toward Ness. "And who's 'your boss', Fake Ness? The Trickster?" Ness nodded. Octavia shook her head. "This thing is much more powerful than it should be."
"What thing?" Scarlett asked. "The Trickster?"
"If it is a Trickster," Octavia told them.
"What do you mean?" Sam asked.
The Trickster walked in. "Hello!" There was applause and cheering. Octavia looked at the Trickster in shocked recognition. "Thank you. Thank you, ladies." The Trickster turned to face Octavia happily. "Hi, Octavia." Octavia opened her mouth to speak. The Trickster pulled her into a kiss to silence her, turning around, pushing her against the wall, startling Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty. He pulled away. "Long time." Octavia seemed to be in shock. "I'm sorry, Ava, but our reunion is gonna have to be cut short. Perhaps next time it can be done right."
The Trickster slid a hand down Octavia's cheek, smiling, waving bye, making her disappear in a burst of static.
"How do you know Ava?" Catty asked.
"Where did you just send Ava?" Sam asked.
"Relax," the Trickster told him. "She'll live. Octavia might even be in Heaven on Earth. A place with about a hundred more versions of me."
The Trickster smiled. There was a laugh track.
"You didn't answer the question," Scarlett told him. "How do you know Ava?"
"That's for me to know and you to..." the Trickster trailed off, not finising.
"All right, you know what?" Dean asked. "I am done with the monkey dance, okay? We get it."
"Yeah?" the Trickster asked. "Get what, hotshot?"
"Playing our roles, right?" Dean asked. "That's your game?"
"That's half the game," the Trickster told them.
"What's the other half?" Scarlett asked.
"Play your roles out there," the Trickster told them.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Catty asked.
"Oh, you know," the Trickster told them. "Dean and Scarlett have got to let their siblings grow up to who they are supposed to become. Sam, starring as Lucifer. Catty, starring as Michael. Your celebrity death match. Play your roles."
"You want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?" Sam asked incredulously.
"Hells, yeah," the Trickster answered. "Let's light this candle."
"We do that, the world will end," Sam told him.
"Yeah?" the Trickster asked, looking at Sam and Scarlett. "And whose fault is that? Who popped Lucifer out of the box? Hmm? Look, it's started. You started it. It can't be stopped. So let's get it over with."
Sam and Scarlett glared at the Trickster.
"Heaven or Hell, which side you on?" Scarlett asked.
"I'm not on either side," the Trickster told them.
"Yeah, right," Dean told him. "You're grabbing ankle for Michael or Lucifer. Which one is it?"
The Trickster stepped closer to Dean angrily. "You listen to me, you arrogant dick. I don't work for either of those SOB's. Believe me."
"Oh, you're somebody's bitch," Dean told him.
The Trickster grabbed Dean by the collar, turning around, pushing him into the wall. Scarlett, Sam and Catty stepped toward them to stop him. Ness grabbed Scarlett, Sam and Catty, easily keeping them back.
The Trickster looked at Dean dangerously. "Don't you ever, ever presume to know what I am. Now listen very closely. Here's what's gonna happen." He looked at Sam and Catty. "You're gonna suck it up, accept your responsibilities, and play the roles that destiny has chosen for you." He looked at Dean and Scarlett. "And you're gonna stop keeping them on that tight leash of yours so that they can. Dean, Scarlett, you're holding them back. You know you are. Just let them go."
"And if we don't do any of the above?" Catty asked.
The Trickster let go of Dean, turning to face Scarlett, Sam and Catty, smiling. "Then you'll stay here in TV Land. Forever. Three hundred channels and, uh, nothing's on."
The Trickster snapped his fingers.
§
CSI: Miami
Night - Park
Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty were suddenly in a park at night, in dark blue suits and black sunglasses. A man laid on the ground with a stomach wound. Crime-scene markers surrounded him. Cameras flashed. Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty were standing outside the crime-scene tape, watching the various extras work, turning away.
"Oh, come on," Dean told them.
An officer ducked under the crime scene tape. "So, what do you think?"
"What do you think?" Dean repeated. "I think go screw yourself, that's what I think."
"Uh, could you give us a sec, please?" Sam asked. The officer nodded, turning away. "Thanks." Sam looked at Dean. "You gotta calm down."
"Calm down?" Dean repeated. "I am wearing sunglasses at night." He pulled them off angrily. "You know who does that? No-talent douchebags." Catty and Scarlett nodded in agreement. "I hate this game. I hate that we're in a procedural cop show and you wanna know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. There's like three hundred of them on television and they're all the freaking same. It's 'Ooh, plane crashed here'. Oh, shut up."
Scarlett noticed something at the crime scene, taking off her sunglasses. "Hey."
"What?" Sam asked.
"Check out sweet tooth over here," Scarlett told them.
They followed her gaze to Ness in an attractive police uniform with a lollipop.
"It's just Ness," Sam told them. "Well, not real Ness, but you know."
"But this is the first time that we've seen Fake Ness with anything sweet since we got here," Scarlett told them.
"Think that's him?" Dean asked.
(Song) Won't Get Fooled Again - The Who
Catty looked around in annoyance. "Seriously, where is that--"
"Let it go," Sam told her.
Catty looked at Scarlett, Sam and Dean. "Fine. Just, um, follow my lead."
Catty walked toward the body. Scarlett, Sam and Dean followed. They put on their sunglasses. The crime-scene tape was raised to let them under, into the crime scene.
(End of Song)
Sam, Catty, Scarlett and Dean stood next to Ness.
"You, uh, you okay?" Ness asked.
"Yeah," Scarlett answered. "What do we got?"
Ness knelt next to the body. "Well, aside from the ligature marks around his neck, he has what appears to be a roll of quarters jammed down his throat."
Dean took off his sunglasses, taking out a flashlight, taking a closer look.
Catty took off her sunglasses. "Well, I say, jackpot."
Ness looked up, chuckling in amusement.
Scarlett took off her sunglasses. "No money, mo' problems."
Ness laughed lightly. Sam took his glasses off.
"Also, there is a stab wound to the lower abdomen," Ness told them, gesturing to the bloodstain with his sucker.
Dean grabbed a stick, poking at the hole in the shirt with it, getting blood on the stick, putting his sunglasses back on. "Well, I say, no guts, no glory."
Ness laughed.
Sam put his glasses on. "Get that guy a Tums."
"Gutter ball," Catty told them.
Ness kept laughing. "Keep it coming, guys."
Catty came around Ness with the stick. Ness turned to face Catty. Catty staked Ness in the heart with it, killing her. Ness fell to the ground, struggling to breathe, dying. None of the others noticed or cared.
Another officer started to laugh, morphing into the Trickster. "You've got the wrong guy, idiots."
"Did we?" Scarlett asked.
Dean came up behind the Trickster, staking him in the heart, letting his body fall to the ground. There was a burst of static. Sam, Dean, Catty, Scarlett and the Trickster's body were suddenly in the warehouse. The Trickster was still down with the stake through him, still in the cop outfit. Sam, Dean, Catty and Scarlett were back in the clothes they had been wearing when they had entered the warehouse.
§
Day Two
Morning - Z Motel
Catty was in the bathroom, finishing breathing her teeth. "I'm worried, guys, about what that son of a bitch did to Cas, Los and Ava. You know, where are they?" There was no response. "Sam?" Catty put her tooth brush and the cup she used to rinse down. "Dean?" Catty walked into the main room to see no one was there. "Scar? Where are you?"
§
Outside
Catty walked out of the room, outside to see Dean and Scarlett walking toward the car. "There you are."
"Here we are," Dean answered.
Catty walked down the stairs, toward the passenger seat.
"Where's Sam?" Scarlett asked.
Dean looked toward the motel room. "I thought he was still in there."
Catty shook her head. "No."
Catty pulled out her phone, sighing, calling Sam.
Sam: (voice mail) "It's Sam. Leave me a message."
Dean got into the driver's seat, closing the door.
Catty opened the passenger's seat door. "Sam, it's me. Where the hell did you go?"
§
The Impala
Catty got into the car, closing the door, hanging up. Scarlett got into the backseat.
They heard Sam's weird, electronic voice. "Dean? Catty? Scar?"
"Sam?" Dean asked. "Where are you?"
Sam: (through Impala) "I don't know."
Catty noticed a red light on the dashboard. It flashed in time with Sam's words.
Sam: (through Impala) "Oh, crap. I don't think we killed the Trickster."
Scarlett nodded sarcastically. "You think?"
§
On the Road
The Knight Rider theme was playing. The Impala had acquired red flashing lights under the front grille.
§
The Impala
Dean was driving. Catty was in the passenger seat. Scarlett was in the backseat.
"Okay, stake didn't work," Dean told them. "So, what? This is another trick?"
Sam: (through Impala)"I don't know."
Catty was thinking. "Maybe the stake didn't work because it's not a Trickster?"
"What do you mean?" Scarlett asked.
Sam: (through Impala) "You heard Octavia. Ava said this thing was too powerful to be a Trickster. And you guys saw the way that Ava reacted around him. It was more than just knowing him. And he kissed Ava to keep her quiet, so she couldn't tell us who he was." He sighed in realization. "Son of a bitch."
"What?" Dean and Scarlett asked.
Sam: (through Impala) "I think I know what we're dealing with. And it's thanks to Octavia."
Dean continued to drive them down the road.
§
Centennial Point Wilderness Area
Dean rummaged in the trunk of the car.
Sam: (through Impala) "Dean?"
"What?" Dean asked.
Sam: (through Impala) "That, uh, feels really uncomfortable."
Dean closed the trunk with a medium slam, irritated.
Sam: (through Impala) "Ow."
"Catty, Scar, you sure this is gonna work?" Dean asked.
"No," Scarlett answered. "But we have no other ideas."
Catty leaned back against the hood of the car, shouting at the sky. "All right, you son of a bitch! Uncle! We'll do it!"
Sam: (through Impala) "Should I honk?"
The Trickster appeared, looking at the car tauntingly. "Wow. Sam. Get a load of the rims on you."
Sam: (through Impala) "Eat me."
"Okay, guys," the Trickster told them. "Ready to go quietly?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Dean told him. "Not so fast. Nobody's going anywhere until Sam has opposable thumbs."
"What's the difference?" the Trickster asked. "Satan's going to ride his ass one way or another." Catty gave the Trickster a look. The Trickster rolled his eyes, snapping his fingers. The lights on the car faded. Sam got out of the car. "Happy?"
"Tell me one thing," Scarlett told him. "Why didn't the stake kill you?"
"I am the Trickster," the Trickster told them.
"Or maybe you're not," Catty told him, holding up a lit lighter, tossing it down. A ring of Holy Fire was set ablaze around the Trickster. "Maybe you've always been an Angel."
The Trickster laughed incredulously. "A what? Somebody slip a mickey in your power shake?"
"I'll tell you what," Catty told him. "You just jump out of the Holy Fire and we'll call it our mistake."
The Trickster laughed, letting it fade, realizing he was caught. There was a burst of static.
§
Warehouse
Sam, Catty, Scarlett, Dean and the Trickster were suddenly back in the warehouse.
The Trickster clapped. "Well played, Winchesters. Well played. Where'd you get the Holy Oil?"
"Well, you might say we pulled it out of Sam's ass," Scarlett told him.
"Where'd I screw up?" the Trickster asked.
"You didn't," Sam answered. "It was the way that you and Octavia acted around each other. Ava told me once that she was only with one person, and that person was an Angel." The Trickster smirked. "Ava also said that he died."
"Yeah, well, my death might have been a little bit exaggerated," the Trickster told them.
"A little?" Sam repeated.
The Trickster looked at Sam curiously. "So you and Octavia already had the awkward ex talk, huh?"
Sam didn't answer. "The one thing that Ava didn't tell me is your name."
"So, which one are you?" Scarlett asked. "Grumpy, Sneezy, or Douchey?"
The Trickster sighed. "Gabriel, okay? They call me Gabriel."
"Gabriel?" Sam repeated. "The Archangel?"
"Guilty," Gabriel answered.
"Okay, Gabriel," Dean told him. "How does an Archangel become a Trickster?"
"My own private witness protection," Gabriel told them. "I skipped out of Heaven, had a face transplant, carved out my own little corner of the world. Till you four screwed it all up."
"What did Daddy say when you ran off and joined the Pagans?" Dean asked.
"Daddy doesn't say anything about anything," Gabriel told them.
"Then what happened?" Scarlett asked. "Why'd you ditch?"
"Do you blame him?" Dean asked. "I mean, his brothers are heavyweight douchenozzels."
"Shut your cake hole," Gabriel told him. "You don't know anything about my family. I love my father, my brothers. Love them. But watching them turn on each other? Tear at each other's throats? I couldn't bear it! Okay? So I left. And now it's happening all over again."
"Then help us stop it," Catty told him.
"It can't be stopped," Gabriel told them.
"You wanna see the end of the world?" Catty asked.
"I want it to be over!" Gabriel told them. "I have to sit back and watch my own brothers kill each other thanks to you four! Heaven, Hell, I don't care who wins. I just want it to be over."
"It don't have to be like that," Catty told him. "There has to be some way to--to pull the plug."
Gabriel laughed. "You do not know my family. What you guys call the Apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner. That's why there's no stopping this, because this isn't about a war. It's about family that loved each other and betrayed each other. You'd think you'd be able to relate."
"What are you talking about?" Sam asked.
"You sorry sons of bitches," Gabriel told them. He looked from Sam to Catty. "Why do you think you two are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, loyal to an absent father. Lucifer, rebellious of Daddy's plan." He looked at Dean and Scarlett. "But does that go to show that it can't be another of your bloodline? Of course not." He looked at Sam and Catty. "It's just easier to go with you two, because you broke the first and final Seals, along with Scarlett, which means you're strong enough to handle one of them inside of you without crumbling into ash. Zachariah was right when he said that you were the vessel, Catty, not just the vessel for Michael." Catty frowned in confusion, opening her mouth to ask what that meant, but Gabriel cut her off. "You were born for this. It's your destiny! It was always you! As it is in Heaven, so it must be on Earth. One of you has to kill the other."
"What the hell are you saying?" Dean asked.
"Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you?" Gabriel asked. "Because the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always."
There was a long moment of silence. Sam and Catty looked down, looking at each other.
Scarlett shook her head. "No. That's not gonna happen."
"I'm sorry," Gabriel told them. "But it is." He sighed. "Guys. I wish this were a TV show. Easy answers, endings wrapped up in a bow. But this is real, and it's gonna end bloody for all of us. That's just how it's gotta be."
There was a long moment of silence.
§
Gabriel clapped once. "So. Guys. Now what? We stare at each other for the rest of eternity?"
"Well, first of all, you're gonna bring Cas, Los and Ava back from wherever you stashed them," Sam told him.
"Oh, am I?" Gabriel asked.
"Yeah," Catty answered. "Or we're going to dunk you in some Holy Oil and deep-fry ourselves an Archangel." Gabriel gave in, snapping his fingers. Angelos, Castiel and Octavia appeared, walking closer. Octavia overlooked the black dress she was now in. "Los, Cas, Ava, you okay?"
"We're fine," Castiel answered.
"Better now than we were before," Angelos agreed.
Octavia walked up to the ring of the Holy Oil, turning to face Gabriel. "Hello, Gabriel."
"Hello, Octavia," Gabriel told her. "Did I send you to your happy place?" Octavia barely raised her eyebrows. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. The things I can think of with that scenario."
"You could have put me back into the clothes that I was wearing instead of putting me in another dress," Octavia told him, pulling on a black leather jacket over the dress.
Gabriel smirked. "Nah, you look good."
Sam looked at Octavia skeptically. "This is your Angel, Ava?"
Octavia looked at Gabriel, but spoke to Sam. "He wasn't like this when I knew him, Sam."
"Well, I had to change to make the Trickster story line a bit more believable," Gabriel told her.
"I thought you were dead," Octavia told him.
Gabriel shrugged. "Obviously, I'm not. So, I heard the rumors on Angel Radio, Octavia. Now I see that they're true. You really are close to falling. But I've known it would happen for a while now. Skipped ahead in the pages in the script. The Angels don't know about your whole Bond girl switcharoo, but I do. Tell me, Ava. How hard is it to look for Dad, prove your obedience, and yet try to help these idiots stop the Apocalypse? Let me guess. Very."
Octavia didn't answer, a smirk playing on her lips.
"Okay, we're out of here," Dean told them. "Come on, guys."
Dean turned around, walking away.
"Uh, okay," Gabriel told them. "Guys?" Sam followed Dean. "So--So what?" Catty and Scarlett followed Sam and Dean. "Huh?" Castiel and Angelos followed them. "You're just gonna--you're gonna leave me here forever?"
Sam, Dean, Catty, Castiel, Scarlett and Angelos walked outside, leaving.
Octavia raised a hand toward the Holy Fire, using magic to put out the flames. "No. I'm not."
Gabriel stepped closer. "So I guess you don't hate me as much as you wish you did, Ava."
"This isn't about the Apocalypse, or the prize fight between our brothers or some destiny that can't be stopped," Octavia told him. "This is about you being too afraid to stand up to the family. I was afraid for a long time. Now I'm not."
"Keep hanging around that crowd, they'll only get you killed again, Octavia," Gabriel told her. "This time you might not come back. Or you'll be feeling so many feelings that you will be the one to make the mistake next time."
Octavia shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. I don't see that happening any time soon, and to tell you the truth, I don't see you exposing me to the Angels, either. Whether it's because you still care about me, or because you're still too afraid, I don't know. But it's up to you." She hesitated, leaning closer to kiss him goodbye, pulling away. "Goodbye, Gabriel."
Octavia disappeared. Gabriel thought about what she had said.
§
Outside
The Impala was exactly where Sam, Dean, Scarlett and Catty left it. They walked toward it.
"All that stuff he was spouting in there, you think it was the truth?" Dean asked.
"I think he believes it," Sam told them.
"So what do we do?" Catty asked.
"I don't know," Scarlett told them.
"Well, I'll tell you one thing," Dean told them. "Right about now, I wish I was back in a TV show."
"Yeah, me, too," Sam told them.
"Agreed," Scarlett agreed.
Sam and Dean got into the front seats of the Impala, closing the doors behind them.
Catty hesitated. "So do I."
Catty and Scarlett got into the backseat, closing the door behind them.