"Brendon?" You said softly. He smiled and sat down next to you. "Why are you crying?" He said softly. "I-uh... it's nothing" you said nervously. "No! Tell meee" he whined. You contemplated with your thoughts. "It's stupid" you said. "Please!" He pouted. You sighed. Should I just say it to get it over with?, you thought. "I just feel...overwhelmed and angry I guess. I mean, who wouldn't be when you find out the love of your life is getting married? They don't look at you the same way anymore, the look they gave you before is now passed onto another lady...." you trailed off avoiding his eyes. You heard his breath hitch. Before he could respond you stood up. "I'm gonna head home, nice meeting you" you said before walking. You turned back a little to see him with his head in his hands. You tried hard to keep your tears in. You headed back home since it was already 9:36.
You walked inside your door to see the boys passed out on the couch. You laughed softly as you set your bag down. You went to the bathroom to get ready to sleep. You slipped inside your sheets as you closed your eyes.
{ time skip brought to you by Spencer Smith }
You woke up by your alarm. You groaned as you slammed your hand over the alarm. 9:15 you saw. You got up and brushed your teeth. Bing! You checked your phone to see a notification. brendonurie posted a photo. You tapped on it. You sighed at the photo.
brendonurie: can't express how much I love this woman ❤️ Have a good winter!
Likes: 1,387
Comments:
panicatlegitmylife: CUTE ❤️
brendonurieeee: MOM AND DAD YES
BRANDON_FURRY: You guys are adorable omfg
Sarahurie: love you too honey ❤️
Y/N_IS_MY_EVERYTHING: NOOO :(
CRIMSON_AIRA: but......Y/n....and Brendon..
Petewentz: nice man!
You sighed feeling saddened. You quickly finished and headed downstairs. Bing! You decided to ignore it. You walked downstairs to see everyone on the couch with saddened expressions. Felix had a tear trickling down his eye. "What happened?" You said concerned as you sat beside Felix hugging him. "Y/N....I don't know how to say this" Derrick whispered. You furrowed your eyebrows. "Y/n...JH....he...
he's gone" Jackson whispered. You felt a huge weight on your chest. "What?" You said confused. "Look" Jackson said as he turned on the TV. "One of the best musicians known has sadly passed away." The tv said showing a picture of your best friend. You felt a stab in the heart as tears escaped. "He was found by police this morning, it was confirmed to be an apparent suicide attempt. Coal was found on a stove. His sister says she received a possible suicide letter. Please give JH and his family some love. " the TV host says. You burst out sobbing. Derrick and Jason tried consoling you and Felix. ////
"HEY!" You laughed as you saw JH running with your beanie. He threw a pillow at you. You laughed and jumped on his back. Felix got a bucket of water and dumped it on JH. You both burst out laughing. "Guys! We have to study! Mr. Wilson hates late assignments" you said. "Ughhh I hate 3rd grade! I wanna go to 12th grade" Felix pouted. You smacked his head. "At least it's due tomorrow and not today" JH said. "Yeaaaah" Felix whined. ////
You sat there for at least an hour crying. You checked your phone to see a Snapchat from JH. Sent 3 hours ago. It was a picture of you and him 2 years ago at a carnival, captioned "I'm sorry! I love you to death please don't forget about me. ❤️" you cried as you saw the Snapchat. You threw your phone onto the bed sliding down the wall. Suddenly everything was just too overwhelming for you. Thoughts of Sarah and Brendon rushed in your mind, all the hate, JH's death, all the negativity towards the new album. You couldn't take it anymore.
TRIGGER WARNING
You grabbed a bottle of pills rushing towards the bathroom door. You emptied the bottle into your hand. You wept doing so. "Y/N!" You heard banging. You continued to cry. "PLEASE! DONT DO THIS. PLEASE I BEG YOU, DONT DO THIS AGAIN" you heard Felix and others. You sat there sobbing, your hand slowly getting closer to your mouth. "Please...I can't lose you too..." you heard Felix whisper. Your eyes widened. You felt guilty if Felix and the others had to deal with 2 deaths. You put the pills back into the bottle whilst the others kept banging.
TRIGGER WARNING OVER
You unlocked the door, rushing out to hug Felix. You two stayed there hugging each other for dear life. Derrick and Jackson joined the hug as well.
{time skip brought to you by Dan Pawlovich}
You finally began to accept it. You pulled out your phone to post something. You posted photo of you and JH with the caption, "I'll always love you bro. Forever together, forever remembered. ❤️" you looked at all the comments.
HEY_ITS_MEEEE: I'm so sorry!
Era_Fan_1: I can't imagine the pain! ❤️
Beebo_Is_Love: disgusting fat bitch, get over it, or even better go kill yourself
Brandon_Urie: what a crybaby! You don't deserve Brendon you never did, ugly slut
brendonurie: You guys are absolutely disgusting. How dare you insult one of my friends whom I love. If you "fans" think you guys are able to just bash out the people I love, just know I think you're shit. Get fucked. I'm so so sorry Y/n, prayers go out to him ❤️
You smiled at his comment. You decided to be honest and tell everyone. You were dedicated to your fans so much.
Y/N_ERA: My last memory of him.
Back in 2015, something happened. I had attempted suicide. I lost all my memories that were after 2014. Today, I did the same. I sat there in the bathroom with a pills in my hand ready to be free. My band members banged on the door pleading with me. I felt the guilt. No one ever wants to experience more than one mourn at a time. I would feel terrible if I made them experience what they did a few years ago. Please send JH some love. Call me emo or suicidal all you want. This is purely to express my love to the boys and how precious our lives are. Stay alive and well!
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