Vanitas' Song: "My Demons" by Starset
"Take me high and I'll sing
Oh, you make everything okay
We are one in the same
Oh, you take all of the pain away
Save me if I become
My demons"
[♥]
The first memory of Vanitas' life is pain. He was born in darkness, his body ripped in two as he was torn from Ventus. Flesh, organs, and soul were formed in searing pain, before blinding light flooded his eyesight.
Pain did not stop at birth, however. The first few years of his life were consumed with psychological, physical, emotional, and mental torment. Not a single day went past that he wasn't beaten to nothing by his creator, Master Xehanort. Fear and pain turned to madness, as he adjusted to such an existence and grew to love the tearing of his skin and the breaking of his bones.
Nothing can wake you up like the smell of blood.
The only steady thought that would run through his mind was that of Ventus. He was created because Ventus was too weak to summon darkness in order to create the x-blade. That pathetic person sentenced him to this hell, which would only continue until they fought and forged the infamous weapon.
He had to end the pain, no matter the cost.
But, when they finally fought... the unthinkable happened. Vanitas lost, falling to the darkness as the failed forge as well as his salvation slipped through his fingers. And the darkness is where he stayed for over a decade, the pain slowly disappearing the longer he stayed floating in nothingness. As the years passed, and the torment ended, his thoughts turned to one question.
Why?
Why did he try to kill Ventus, who's still a simpering idiot but never asked for Vanitas to be born? Why did Vanitas die to fulfill the wishes of a man who's given him nothing but torture? Why is his life less important than a glorified Keyblade?
He was born again in pain, ripped from the darkness without warning. He woke up in a blindingly bright room, a tall man with gray hair and warm amber eyes standing over him with a completely blank expression.
Xemnas. Xehanort. Ansem. No matter what name he went by, Vanitas would always recognize those dead eyes.
The man had a new mission for him. To kidnap some girl, and restart his battle with Ventus – this time for good. Was the man more insane than he already thought? He sentenced Vanitas to his fate in the darkness, and he expected him to go through such hell again?
He agreed, however, his curiosity piqued. The pain was replaced with an obsessive interest in that one itching question... why?
With a roll of his eyes, he started watching the old memories of his replica. He's still not sure what a replica is, but it sure looks like a slightly younger version of him. He watched as the copy followed and tormented the girl he's now tasked with bringing back to his old master. As the memories weave together, he finds himself sitting up straighter.
Why is the girl nice to his replica? Sometimes she even smiles his way, despite his nature. She doesn't want to fight him, even as a Keyblade is pressed to his neck. And then, Vanitas watches with a tilt of his head as he girl leans forward, pressing her lips to his replica's.
He feels a familiar sensation as he watches. Jealousy. It's an old friend of his, and it's back with a vengeance. The girl is friends with Ventus of all people, fighting alongside him against the forces of darkness.
He leaves to go find her, partially because he's unsure how to say no to his master. But also because he wants to meet her. She's afraid when her eyes land on him, but his twisted mind doesn't notice this. All he wants is to possess her, to ask her why she'd ever be so kind to a wretch like him?
But then he talks to her. She's... friendly, after the shock wears off and they start to walk through the castle in The World That Never Was. She even mentions his stupid replica in a teasing joke. The days go by, and she's clearly miserable, but he finds himself wandering to her room just to take a look at her.
Miserable or not, he likes having her here.
She's the first person who's actually spoken to him. Not at him, but to him. As an equal. It's intoxicating.
She leaves the castle after attacking his master, and he doesn't stop her. If she escapes, he'll just be sent after her again. It's the chase that's thrilling, after all.
Weeks go by. He only visits once, to warn her of his master's plan. But she doesn't listen or believe him, or care what he has to say, because she fails to stop the kidnapping of Ventus, Aqua, and Terra. Naminé, the second person to be nice to him, betrays Vanitas' master. She allows the girl to escape, to return back to her friends.
More weeks pass, and the questions keep forming in his mind. His entire life has been pain. Why is he going along with this madness once again? His sick bond to his master is severed, and there's nothing but fear keeping him there.
(Not that he'd ever admit he's terrified of the man.)
So, he visits her once more. It's a desperate attempt to reach out, not as the person he was but as the person he is. He brings her to Twilight Town and tries to help her, by giving her information and the hand of friendship. She accepts with a smile, a smile actually shot his way. He realizes in that moment he'd kill to see that smile, to feel her lips upon his as she willingly sinks into his arms over and over again.
The hand of friendship slowly turns to something else entirely.
The months pass. The pain continues to dissolve. The war is fought and won, with very few hiccups besides a brief slip into the darkness. But this time, the darkness is welcomed like an old friend. There's no more pain, or fear. Just calm acceptance.
His life is darkness. But his life isn't pain.
Not anymore.
[TWO YEARS LATER]
"So, that's how you and [Name] ended up together?"
"Yup."
"Dad said you used to be a bad guy?"
"Yup."
"So, she made you a good guy?"
"Well, wait, let's not get ahead of us here..."
You can't hide the laughter as you listen to the conversation currently going on in your living room between Aqua and Terra's absolutely precious daughter and Vanitas as they lounge together on the couch watching TV. You agreed to babysit today while her parents are busy teaching at the school atop the mountain in the Land of Departure that was formed by them and Ven what feels like ages ago.
You stayed behind to help them, and though Vanitas acted like he didn't care, you know a small part of him likes being somewhat close to them. Despite everything, they've shown him kindness, and Vanitas isn't unreasonable. He knows that he doesn't deserve their kindness. But he appreciates it all the same, even though he'd never say that.
After some time he even agreed to help out teaching the kids how to fight against dark magic, and the kids for some insane reason loved Vanitas the most. It's probably because he doesn't sugarcoat his words or treat them with kiddie gloves. You can't help but cringe at some of the shit that comes out of his mouth, but the kids eat it up and beg for more.
And now, in a situation that would have seemed impossible years ago, here he sits in your shared living room in the house you bought, chatting with Terra and Aqua's daughter as he tells her the story of where he came from, his life, and how you met.
"I think you're a good guy, Uncle Vanny," you hear the little girl coo, only to be met with a scoff from the man.
"Whatever you say, kid."
"Sorry I took so long," you call out as you stroll into the room, figuring you can't stand there eavesdropping forever. "Wanna go grab some lunch? We can go to that café down the block if you go get changed."
"Okay!" the girl cries out, breaking out in a grin as she crawls from her position sprawled out on Vanitas' lap and runs to the back bedroom where her clothes are waiting.
"Hurry up, I'm starving!" Vanitas tells the excited girl, only to be met with the slamming sound of her door shutting.
He chuckles under his breath as he stretches out his legs, holding his arms up over his head as he cracks his back. You watch him for a moment, barely able to hide the smile growing on your face. Sometimes it's as if you're watching an entirely different person. He still looks the same, and pretty much acts the same, but the years have done him well. He's grown some confidence – real confidence, not false confidence like he used to have – and he's adjusted to a normal life about as well as could be expected. He's still plagued with nightmares and pain and suffering, which are pretty crippling some days. But there's more good days than bad nowadays, which he always admits is because of you.
You were the one who showed him love, and care, and tenderness. Ever since he first saw your smile, whether you knew it or not, he's been yours. He's glad you haven't yet figured out that he's absolute putty in your hands, willing to do anything (within reason) to make you happy.
You slink down next to him on the couch, finally allowing a full smile to grow as he throws an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his chest. His lips press against your temple, his face resting in your hair as your hands lie against his chest.
"You're quite the story teller," you speak up.
"Oh. You heard that?" he asks, peering down at you from his peripheral vision.
"Sure did. I never get tired of hearing that story."
The corners of Vanitas' lips curl up in an amused smirk as he rests a hand on the side of your face, his fingers finding their way into your hair as he tilts your face up to him.
"Hey there," you add with a grin as you stare up at him.
"Hey," he murmurs, nuzzling his nose against yours before he tilts your face up further, his lips finding yours.
Your hands slide up his chest so that they're resting on the side of his neck, allowing him to pull you closer as he holds you against him, the kiss deepening as his fingers dig deeper into your hair.
You break the kiss to stare up at him, those golden eyes that once haunted you now setting your entire body on fire.
"I love you, Vanny," you whisper against his lips.
He chuckles, closing the gap to kiss you again, his lips soft and gentle against yours.
"I love you, too."
He was born in the dark. But finally, after too long, he can finally say he lives in the light.
And it's all because of you.
[♥]
Oh my God.
This series is finally done.
I feel a little weird honestly. I know the main plot was finished in December, but I always had these epilogues hanging over my head. Now, it's just... done!
I want to thank all of you so much for your support during all these years. This series has been such a joy to write, and it's all been worth it watching your reactions. I hope these epilogues did justice to the plot, and gave everyone their much-needed shots of fluff to end this series XD
Just because this is ending, however, doesn't mean I'm no longer writing!!! I still have When Worlds Collide, as well as my new series, A Second Chance. A Second Chance will have the same general feeling as Cheating Destiny, but with a very different plot, so I hope everyone checks it out!
Again, thank you all. Your support means the world, and I love you all.
♥ Alex