NICKI POV
Aubrey and I were home getting ready for our double date with Lydia and Anita, where we'd finally talk about what happened.
"Okay what do you think of this dress?" I asked Aubrey, wearing a black dress that was open enough to show my stomach a bit, gave a tasteful abundance of cleavage and hugged my figure perfectly with a slit on both legs.
"Damn... Nic-" he stared me up and down.
"I sketched this dress the day after it happened, and started making it when we got back.. So I thought it was the perfect dress to wear for tonight." I explained.
"You- look.. beyond stunning. Nic, words can't even begin to describe-" he babbled.
I kissed him, causing him to stop talking abruptly.
"Nic, I know its not just the dress.. but I know I feel myself falling in love with you all over again. Like... I feel like I should be proposing to you again."
"Don't bother." I shook my head, "You already know my answer."
"You know.. its weird.." he sighed.
"What?"
"That I've seen your collection for years. And when I met you I was in awe in everything about you, your looks, personality, success and talents. And even though I know that you design everything from scratch and its always phenomenal... I am always just- amazed to see the product." he complimented.
"Well- thanks." I replied, putting on my earrings. "I'm gonna text Lydia and see how far along they are."
"I'm sorry.. I sound stupid don't I?" he apologized.
"Babeee.." I wrapped my arms around his neck, "Stupid would never be the word I'd use to describe you."
"Well-"
"Shh." I kissed him, "A girl could never have too many compliments.. especially from the man I love."
"Tell me... will the man you love be granted the opportunity of tearing this dress off of you later tonight." He asked continuing the kiss and letting his hands roam my body.
"mmm- only if you play nice at dinner." I moaned lightly against his lips.
"I'll try."
At dinner I ended up sitting beside Anita, Lydia and Aubrey sat across from us.
"You look amazing." Anita smiled at me.
"Not like anyone's surprised." Lydia added.
"Thanks you guys." I grinned as we took our seats.
"I say we order some drinks." Aubrey offered.
"I'm just glad we are all able to be here right now." I introduced.
After we ordered drinks, the small talk ceased.. we were pretty silent until after the second round of drinks.
"See.. this is what I didn't want." I put my glass down.
"What?" Lydia asked.
"The whole point in this evening is to prevent this from happening. This awkward tension." I explained.
"Yeah, we know." Anita folded her arms.
"So, can someone please talk?" I begged.
"Okay." Lydia nodded, "Where do we start?"
"I just.. I think we should all be aware of how everyone else is effected by what happened. Start there." I exhaled.
"Can we start with you? Miss mediator.." Anita sipped her wine.
"Fine." I gave in, "You want me to break the ice, then I will. Anything to help all of us get through this."
"We're listening." Lydia leaned in.
"Truth is, I haven't had time to process it for myself because I've been so busy wanting to fix it for the three of you. The only thing I know is, I'm the one person thats completely tangled up in this and I feel like its my fault." I admitted.
There was a silence while it sunk in for everyone.
Anita cleared her throat, "I feel like I was left out... I always do when it comes to you three, I mean, I get it.. but this was just the icing on the cake."
Lydia and I simultaneously held a hand out to Anita for comfort.
"Who's next?" Anita brushed away our sympathy.
Lydia and Aubrey stared at each other before Lydia spoke up, "I feel like I'm at an AA meeting."
"Really?" Anita scrunched her nose.
"No, thats not my answer.. but I mean, this! I just, feel weird saying it out in a group setting like this." she defended herself.
"Unfortunately, I agree." Aubrey spoke up.
"He speaks." Anita commented sarcastically.
"Fine, I already know both of your sides anyways." I shrugged.
"But I don't." Anita objected, "This is what I mean, I'm the only one out of the loop... AGAIN."
"I just, don't really do feelings and stuff-" Lydia began.
"She's more into snarky comments and ill-humor." Aubrey jabbed.
Lydia rolled her eyes, "I just feel awkward about it okay? Especially in group settings. Nic- she's my diary, most times she knows it before I even tell her."
"Thats weird, you two really are the same person." Aubrey collected.
"Thats besides the point."
"No!" Anita silenced us, "So even though I'm your girlfriend now, not her.. I don't get to know how you feel? How will I know if-"
"She loves you Anita." I stepped in.
"Thats something you don't have to question." Lydia assured her.
"I think I- need a moment." Anita took a deep breath, "I'm gonna get some air." She stood.
"Babe-" Lydia reached out to her.
"Stop, I'll be back. I just need a minute okay?" She placed her purse on her chair, "I'm coming back."
I started to go after her.
"Leave her." Aubrey stopped me.
"What?"
"I'll go." he offered.
"Why would-"
"Like I said, you two are just alike." he explained, "She could use someone who's been exactly where she is right now."
"You're right." I nodded.
"Thanks." Lydia offered him a slight smile.
Once he left, Lydia shifted seats so she could lay her head on my shoulder. "Am I the worst girlfriend ever or what?"
"No hun. You're amazing, and Anita knows that. She's just processing it right now thats all."
"All this time I thought you and I were so close because we compliment each other.. but maybe Aubrey's right, we're just so much alike that we're the only one's who get it." she sighed.
"You know what I think?" I grabbed my wine glass.
"What?"
"I think its a mix between the two. We are very much alike.. but when one of us is weak, the other finds the strength to compensate." I stated.
"I can drink to that." She grabbed a glass and we clinked them.
AUBREY POV
Out talking with Anita wasn't as difficult as I had geared myself up for it to be.
"I said I wanted to be alone." she growled at me at first.
"Did you hear what I said about them being alike?"
"Yeah so?"
"So.. I was in your shoes before, in some ways I still am. But it gets easier, and I promise you, its worth the extra work." I stated.
"So Onika runs to Lydia for all her problems, and slept with her?"
"Pretty much. But I learned that the reason Nic wasn't telling me, had nothing to do with her not wanting me to know-"
"Then what was it?"
"She wanted so badly to be able to have the perfect way to articulate it, that she just couldn't do it." I explained.
"You think thats the case with Lydia?"
"Yes actually... and the more I think about it, the more it all makes sense."
"So what am I supposed to do? What did you do?" she asked.
"I had to work with her and be patient.. wait for her to be ready, take baby steps. And in the meantime, Lydia would relay the things Nic couldn't find the words to tell me herself." I exhaled.
"So you think Nicki would... tell me."
"She wants Lydia to be happy more than anything in the world. And even I can tell that you bring out something new and amazing in her, so Nic would do anything to help make sure your relationship works out." I assured her.
"Like Lydia did for you guys.. I'm predicting." she added.
"Yeah, exactly." I nodded, "But you also have me, because their closeness does get a little obnoxious so if you ever need someone- I'm here. Thats the one thing you've got that I didn't have."
We sat outside a few moments longer before heading back inside.
"Change of plans. We're all finishing this rendez-vous chez-moi." Lydia announced as we approached the table.
"I paid the bill already, come on." Nic stood.
At Lydia's we sat in the living-room with more liquor and some chips and salsa.
"Where were we?" Nic asked.
"Well, Anita expressed how she feels left out.. and you said you feel tangled in the middle of the mess." Lydia recapped.
"Then you guys called it an AA meeting and well, the rest is not important." Anita concluded.
"Nic, why don't you do the honors?" I suggested.
"For both of you?" her eyes widened.
"Ideally yes."
"Well, just correct me if I get something wrong." she disclaimed.
"We will." Lydia nodded.
Nic took a deep breath and held Anita's hands in hers, "The last thing you need to do is be worried about being left out. Lydia is my best friend, so when she brought you into the loop, you became family. Lydia.. is traumatized, and confused about what happened. She's not sure who to blame, if anyone.. or if it was her fault. She doesn't know how to feel because of it, she was too drunk to remember... and it scares her that she let herself be put into a situation that in the wrong setting, could've turned out much worse than this chaos. But more than anything, she feels like she let you down. And ever since, she's felt like she wasn't worthy of you, of your love, time and effort."
Lydia and Anita were both in tears before Nic had finished.
"That leaves Aubrey." Nic looked up at me with teary eyes.
"Nic,"
"Trust me."
"I change my answer" I attempted.
"I know." she nodded.
"If you want, you can tell us yourself.. Nic doesn't have to say it for you." Lydia offered.
"Thanks, but she will probably have a better wording than I could be able to use." I passed.
"Well, Onika.. we're all ears." Anita rested her chin in her hands.
"Okay." Nic took a deep breath, "Aubrey is positive that this is something we can work through, its a minor setback... that he is willing to do anything to help make it better. He understands where we are each coming from but there's no one at fault here, the three of us were not wrong for getting drunk.. because it was a very safe environment and there was a mutual trust. But unfortunately, somehow someway our drunk actions lead to this... and he feels bad, more than anything- if he could've had it any other way, it either wouldn't have happened at all, or would have been 100% consensual."
"Exactly." I exhaled.
"Can I say something? Like from my own perspective.." Nic asked.
"Go ahead."
"I feel like, we should focus more on Lydia and Anita... because it seems that this has affected you guys and your relationship more intensely than Aubrey and I's. And I want more than anything to help to fix that."
"Okay." Lydia shrugged.
"So what do you propose?" Nic asked.
"I think its only fair that Nicki has a threesome with Lydia and I." Anita stated.
"Anita-" Lydia scolded.
"I'm sorry?" I blinked.
"What?" Anita defended.
"I just- I think what he means, is that.. how is that gonna help anything at all?" Nic mediated.
"Its just fair that way." Anita crossed her arms.
"Fair to who?" Nic scrunched her nose. "Its not fair to me or Lydia to have to open up that can of worms again, its not fair to Aubrey because he doesn't even remember the first event... but you will. And its not fair to you, because it doesn't change-"
"You guys don't remember what happened that night.. but I do." She admitted.
"You weren't there." I pointed out.
"Well, until at least one of you sees what it feels like to not be there , none of you will understand how that night felt for me." Anita rationalized.
Nic pulled out her phone and began dialing.
"Nic who are you calling?" Lydia asked.
"The hotel." she replied.
"Why?"
"I want to know.. how this happened.. who initiated it, I can't- I just need something to fill the gaps." She explained.
"And how are you doing that?"
She held a finger up to tell us to be quiet.
"Hi, yes.. my name is Onika Maraj.. yes, exactly. Yes... Okay, I was wondering if it were possible to have a recording of the surveillance footage from our room sent to my email. Yeah... you know, there was a really important letter that needed to be notarized by tomorrow and I think we might have left it there, if we did it was probably thrown out.. but my fiancé and I would like to see the tapes- yes, exactly! Just a little couples' spat. Thanks so much, that will be greatly appreciated. Yeah, from the hours of about- 10:30-10am. Thank you! Yes, next time we're in town, we will definitely stay at your hotel again, it was a lovely experience! Okay, goodbye now!" she hung up.
"They said it may take about an hour or so, but they will email me the footage." Nic relayed. "I just wanna know what exactly happened okay?"
"Okay."
"Can we get something to eat in the meantime.. and just think of some alternative ways of figuring this out." Lydia suggested.
We ordered pizza and barely talked... at one point Lydia and Nic ventured off for a moment and Nita confided in me.
"I didn't mean for what I said to come out the way it did." she apologized. "Its just hard you know.."
"I get it." I shrugged.
"I can't compete with Onika... she's like, everything anyone could ever want. It's intimidating, especially with their history and-"
"I could say the same thing about Lydia." I cut her off.
"Do you think it'll ever get easier?" she asked.
"I trust them." I bit into my pizza.
"I want to- but then this happens... or like, I'll see them laughing at each other's jokes or when they're with OJ.. its- hard, you know?"
"Yep." I nodded.
"But at the same time.. they're both so honest with me, that I feel like I should be fine. I mean, even with this... Lydia told me about it right away, its not like she tried to hide it or anything. I don't know if thats a good thing or bad-"
"yeah."
"Did they ever- before I started dating Lydia?" she asked.
"Almost.. It was kinda like this situation, except it was just the two of them. And- Nic and I kinda fought or something like that." I put my pizza down.
"What happened?"
"She ran away to Lydia's.. they drank a lot, and woke up in Lydia's basement together. They weren't entirely sure what happened. Nic called me over, I brought them water and ibuprofen.. and helped clean up. That was it." I explained.
"How do you know-"
"Neither of their lipstick was smudged. And honestly, if it at any point Nic ever had any incentive to cheat on me.. that night would've been it. And she didn't." I rationalized.
"Hey, guys..." Nic interrupted us.
"Yeah." Anita jumped up.
"The email came through, Lydia is hooking her computer up to the tv downstairs so we can all watch it." Nic explained.
Downstairs, Lydia was logging into Nic's email.
"You just, know her password and everything?" Anita laughed nervously.
"Lydia and I never had any secrets.. including passwords. And if I change my passwords now, I'll never remember them." Nic explained.
"There might actually be sound.." Lydia announced as she turned the volume up. "And, its like 12hours long thanks to Nic, so we can do some fast forwarding."
"Okay.. fast forward past the boring talking." Nic suggested as Lydia pressed play.
"Pause it here!" Anita eventually shouted.
"Damn.. thats like ....... 5-6 bottles we emptied." Lydia noted.
"No wonder you don't remember a thing." Anita commented as Lydia let it play.
From the video:
"We pretty much clicked right away." Nic giggled.
"Yeah, but that whole trust thing took a while to build." Lydia poked Nic's forehead. "I remember I couldn't even touch her to wake her up for class.. she would get so scared she nearly cried and then she would yell at me."
"You know.. I really love that my ptsd was so fucking hilarious to you." Nic rolled her eyes.
"Interesting." Aubrey nodded.
"Can you pour some moscato?" Lydia requested.
"No, you've had enough." Aubrey denied.
"Oh come on.. hardworking people deserve a drink here and then.. if she gets too drunk, she can just crash here." Nic defended.
"Fine.. don't blame me for your kidney failure." Aubrey shrugged.
"Me too me too." Nic put her glass up.
"Okay wait, my leg is falling asleep." Lydia stood up to shake her leg out. Aubrey filled her glass but in the midst of her shaking her leg out, she spilled the contents of her glass down her shirt.
"What a klutz." Nic laughed.
"I should hug you, just so you would know how disgustingly sticky this feels." Lydia threatened.
"Why don't you use our shower? That way you won't wake Anita.. its really late." Nic offered.
"Yeah.. okay."
"But hey!" Nic called her back, "Take a nice LONGGG shower.. because you wouldn't want to walk in on my fiancé having sex with me."
"Ew gross!!" Lydia covered her ears.
"Its true though.." Nic giggled.
Lydia left, assumedly to shower.
We fast-forwarded past the part where Nic and I had sex and started back up to where Lydia returned in the room with a towel.
From the video:
"My clothes are a gross mess." Lydia announced.
"I sleep in Aubrey's shirts sometimes.. so I have some extras packed if you wanna borrow one and a pair of tights." Nic offered.
"I washed my clothes out in the sink and they are hanging to dry now." Lydia stated, before stumbling over her feet a bit.
"I think you should stay here for the night." Nic suggested.
"I'm right across the hall." Lydia groaned.
"You're drunk and naked.. I don't want anything to happen to you." Nic argued.
"You're also drunk and naked." Lydia put a hand on her hip, "Both of you."
"Never too drunk to put you at risk." Nic laid her head on the pillow. "Your clothes will be dry in the morning.. Just stay here."
"Where am I supposed to sleep? On the couch?" Lydia waved her arms around, "Nic.. I'm tired, its been a long day.. I just want to sleep in a bed and be comfortable-"
"Aubrey move over." Nic shoved Aubrey over in the bed before rolling beside him. "Ta da. A bed! Now stop bitching and go to sleep..."
"Why would I-" Lydia protested but once she stumbled over herself for the third time, she gave in, "Fine..."
We fast forwarded past the part of us just sleeping and watched where we woke up and came to the conclusion of the threesome.
"Well, that.. changes things." Nic spoke up.
"As embarrassing as that was to watch.. I like this version of the story a lot better." Lydia added.
"Now what?" I asked.
"I think I should go.." Anita stood up.
"Babe." Lydia went after her, but Anita pushed her away and ran upstairs. Nic followed after her.
NIC POV
"Hey.. Anita." I approached her as she stood at the kitchen sink.
"Go away." she growled, I could tell she had begun crying.
"Come on.. this is good news right? Lydia didn't cheat on you.." I reasoned.
"That doesn't change how I felt that night.. or how I feel everyday." she turned to me. "I can't compete with you Onika.. I'll always lose that battle."
"Hey... don't.. I would never want you to compete with me." I stuttered, "Lydia loves you so very much. And she talks about you so much, I can tell she is falling madly in love with you."
"But you two-" she shook her head.
"We have history, yes. And a present bond, and a future of course. But you don't have to worry about Lydia and I. We became close long before we ever dated... so now, we can be just friends.. and be just as close." I explained, " I love Lydia with all my heart, I do. Thats why its important to me that you understand that I am not a threat to your relationship. I want Lydia to be happy, and I can see how much good you bring out in her."
"Really?"
"Yeah.. Would it help you if maybe you and I got to know each other a little better? That way you could judge for yourself whether or not you want to trust me.. so its not just you doing it because we're telling you to." I offered.
"That sounds like a good idea actually." she nodded.
"We'll do that!" I hugged her.
QOTD:
I dont have one.. just leave a bunch of comments!