It was at that point that Magnus woke up. Alec still had his head in his lap and was asleep. The sun was shining in through the window and he could hear his alarm going off in the bedroom. With a snap of his fingers the alarm stopped. That was the best dream he'd had in a long time, until he hurt Ally. He couldn't believe what had happened, but now he was certain that he wanted a child. Looking down at Alec, Magnus smiled and played gently with his hair. Alec stirred and woke up. Looking up at Magnus, he smiled.
"Morning." Alec said, not making any move to get up from him position. He was extremely comfortable. Magnus leaned forwards and kissed his cheek.
"Morning." He replied. "I've made my decision."
"Decision? About what?" Alec asked, he wasn't fully awake and didn't catch on to what Magnus meant straight away.
"What we were talking about yesterday. Remember?" It took Alec a few minutes to understand what he meant and he nodded.
"About having a child." He said finally.
"Yes."
"What is your decision...?" Alec asked. Biting his lip, he had everything crossed that Magnus would say that he wanted a child.
"I want a child." Alec's face lit up. He sat up and hugged Magnus.
"You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that."
"It was decided at about five this morning. Let's just say, I had a very good dream." Magnus said, leaving out the part where he hurt Ally. He wanted Alec to know that he'd truly considered it. Alec stood up off of the couch and stretched.
"Let's grab some breakfast and then we'll talk more about it. Okay?"
Within half an hour, they were both tucking in to a breakfast that consisted of toast, eggs, sausages and bacon. They always sat together at a circular dining table that they had., they never sat on the couch. Neither of them said a word as they ate, but there was a positive energy that enveloped the apartment. After they'd both finished eating and were comfortably full, they washed everything and went and sat back on the couch. Magnus turned the TV on but neither of them watched it.
"So..." Alec started. "You want a baby. You're definitely sure?"
"I've never been more certain of anything in my entire life." Magnus replied with a smile on his face.
"That's great!" Alec exclaimed. "We know that we want a girl, so do you want a Shadowhunter or a Warlock?" Magnus had to think for a few minutes. He stared blankly at the TV whilst he thought. The Simpsons was playing to no-one in particular, though Chairman Meow seemed to be watching it, his tail occasionally flicking from side to side. The Simpsons was one of the few programmes that could actually amuse Magnus but he had no intention of watching it.
After almost ten minutes, Magnus looked back at Alec.
"A Shadowhunter." He said. "Definitely a Shadowhunter."
"Oh... I wanted a warlock..." Alec replied. This was something that neither of them had anticipated.
"Warlocks can be difficult to raise." Magnus said matter-of-factly. As a child Magnus often had little incidents involving his developing magic. He remembered one time when he was being chased by an older boy, and, without wanting to, he created an invisible force that choked and almost killed him. The memory sent shudders down his spine. Alec reassuringly closed his hand over Magnus'.
"What's wrong? You seem distressed." Alec observed. He was growing accustomed to Magnus' habits and signs. Even though Magnus concealed it well, Alec could nearly always tell when he was hiding something. Magnus quickly composed himself.
"Nothing. Just an... Unpleasant memory." Magnus replied. He wasn't lying, but it bothered him more than he dared admit. He knew if he said any more, that Alec would press him for details and then try and comfort him. By keeping it short, Alec wouldn't press on.
"Oh, okay. Well, if you ever need to talk about it, I'm here for you." Magnus knew he'd say that and he smiled in response. Looking at the TV screen, Magnus watched the last couple of minutes of The Simpsons. He'd seen the episode many times before, though it never became any less amusing to him. The two of them sat in silence for a while. Neither knowing what to say. They'd come to a standstill. Both Alec and Magnus were afraid that if they tried to convince the other to change their mind, then it'd end in a fight. It was on a very rare occasion that they fought, and they had always made up at the end of it. But they hated it, they hated the thought of pushing the other away over a stupid argument that wasn't necessary in the first place. Sensing the slight tension in the air, Chairman Meow got up from his seat and padded off silently to the spare room. Finally, it was Magnus who broke the silence between them.
"So, why do you want a Warlock?" He asked. It was a simple question and Alec had been thinking about why he did.
"I've been around Shadowhunters my whole life. Well, until I met you. And I think that raising a warlock would be a challenge." Magnus nodded slightly, he understood completely. Silence fell between them again. The noise of the TV becoming more and more distant to both of them.
"Why do you want a Shadowhunter?" Alec asked.
"Similar reason to you really. I've been around Downworlders most of m..."
"Stop calling yourself a Downworlder." Alec interrupted, clearly irritated.
"Don't interrupt me Alexander, I didn't interrupt you." Magnus said, a little annoyed. Alec looked down.
"Sorry..."
"As I was saying, I've been around Downworlders most of my life." Alec flinched at the use of the word Downworlder. "I think raising a Shadowhunter would be a challenge." Magnus finished. As soon as Alec was certain that Magnus had finished speaking, he decided to speak his mind.
"Please, please Magnus. Stop categorising yourself as a Downworlder. You are so much more than that." Magnus looked at him and could see that he was quite clearly begging. Sighing, Magnus nodded.
"It won't change what I am, but if you insist then I'll stop." Alec knew that was the best he was going to get so he pushed it to the back of his mind. He was just glad that they'd finally talked about him calling himself a Downworlder, after over a year of him avoiding the conversation. Looking back at the TV, Magnus chuckled to himself. Just the sound of Magnus' laugh was enough to make Alec relax.
"You know, warlock children have very little control over their magic. If they get scared, angry or excited, their magic can flare up. Sometimes with drastic consequences." Magnus said without taking his eyes off the TV.
"Did something like that happen to you?" Alec asked curiously.
"Yes." Magnus replied. He didn't want to elaborate on several occasions where his magic had been particularly dangerous. "In younger years, it tends to be less frequent. But as they grow older and learn of their powers and abilities, and also as they grow stronger that is where it can become dangerous."
"Dangerous?"
"Yes, there was one time when I was seven where I nearly killed both my parents."
"But you hadn't meant to... Right?"
"No! No of course not!" Magnus took a second to compose himself before continuing. "I got mad. Really mad. I thought I could control it but I was wrong." He finished.
"Did you get in trouble for it?" Magnus shook his head.
"No. They understood. My point is Alec, that warlock children are dangerous. Worse than a werewolf at times."
"But you've been through it, you know what it's like and you can help them and help me." Magnus shot him a sideways glance before refocusing on the TV. "Shadowhunters are pretty difficult to raise too." Alec said.
"How so?" Magnus asked, wondering how a Shadowhunter could be any harder to raise than a warlock.
"Well there's all the training that they have to go through, learning to use different weapons, learning friend from foe. I remember I used to wake up in the middle of the night and try and attack my parents so I could get better." Magnus laughed slightly.
"Did you ever succeed?"
"No, they always caught me. But they always left it to the last second before stopping me." Alec remembered it as if it happened just days ago. "Then when Max was born, I stopped doing it." Alec's heart tightened at the thought of Max.
"Max... Your little brother?" Alec nodded.
"Yeah, I was about nine when he was born. I loved him so much." He had tears in his eyes. It had been almost three years since Max had been killed and just the mention of his name was enough to reduce Alec to tears. Magnus looked at Alec and pulled him into his lap, holding him close.
"Let it out Alec. Don't bottle it up. You can cry if you want to." Alec looked at Magnus for a moment before burying his head into his chest and crying. Magnus hated it when Alec cried, but he knew that if Alec didn't release his frustration in some way then he wouldn't sleep.
"It should've... Been me..." Alec said between sobs. Magnus bit his lip. Alec would change the past if he could and Magnus was well aware of that. The thought made him feel unloved, but he knew that Alec did love him. Alec just thought that Max hadn't lived his life, he hadn't seen the world. He hadn't even received his first rune.
"No Alec. No it shouldn't. It was Max's time and I'm sure he's looking down on you right now with tears in his eyes, because he loves you so much and he wants you to be happy." Magnus saying that only made Alec cry harder. "Come back Max!" Alec cried out. "I need you!" Magnus understood his pain. He knew what he was going through, but seeing someone else go through it was much harder for him. Especially when it was someone he loved as much as Alec. Magnus couldn't stop the stream of tears that were flowing down his cheeks. Magnus had lost so many people that he'd loved. Family, friends, lovers. But never had he reacted like Alec. Alec had truly loved his brother and would give absolutely anything to get him back.