"I'll get it!" I yelled.
I shot off the couch after hearing the sound of the doorbell ringing through the house. I probably seemed overly excited, but this night was a special night. My parents had decided to throw a celebratory dinner for the announcement of yet another tour and my final day in Miami, and since we lived only twenty minutes from each other, Camila and her family were invited. My dad wasn't so sure; he still wasn't quite warmed up to the idea of Camila, but the fact that he had no idea we were actually together again played a huge role in his decision to allow her to join us for dinner. Little did he know, Camila and I had something special up our sleeves that we planned to pull out over dinner.
I ran through the house and unlocked the door, pulling it open to reveal Camila's parents and Sofi on the other side.
"Lauren!" Sofi shouted, sprinting forward and wrapping her tiny arms around my legs.
"Hey, Sofi," I chuckled. "You've gotten so big!"
She blushed and backed away, evidently feeling bashful and taking shelter behind her parents. They both smiled at me and I returned the gesture, pulling them both in for a simultaneous group hug.
"Hello, Lauren, how are you?" her mother asked me. "Long time, no see."
"I'm really well," I smiled. "Um...where's Camila?"
Her father turned around and peered over his shoulder, shrugging and releasing a heavy sigh to signal he didn't have the slightest clue.
"Go look for her if you want," he suggested. "Maybe you can convince her to hurry up."
I nodded and watched as they all entered the house and rounded the corner into the kitchen. I slipped outside when they were busy being greeted by my family and sprinted down the driveway to where Camila's car was parked. The inside of the car was pitch black. It didn't look like anyone was around.
"Camz?" I called.
I shook my head in confusion when I didn't receive a response and stepped around to the edge of the driveway near the side of the house. I peeked my head around the corner and stared into the shadows cast by the full moon, but I still saw no sign of Camila until I felt a pair of soft hands slip under the hem of my shirt and grip my hipbones. Before I could react, her lips were on mine and my back was against the side of the house. I felt her smile and could see the white from her smirk in contrast to the night sky as she pulled back.
"Don't be so loud," she scolded. "Do you really want our parents looking for us?"
I kissed her again in response. Alone time was something we both cherished, even if it was pressed against the side of my house with both of our families inside. Constantly being surrounded by company no matter where we were would always be a hassle, but it was times like these that made it all worth it. Maybe there were half a dozen people just inside the door, but in that moment, it was just the two of us and our lips. Not even space had the room to interrupt us; Camila was pressed as close to my body as possible with her fingers tangled in my hair. I'd noticed over the years that her hands had a tendency to describe how she felt. When they were soft and moving slow, she just wanted to be loved. When they were wandering and aggressive, she wanted more, but now, when they were wrapped up in the fabric of my shirt and gently caressing the skin underneath, I knew she just wanted that moment. She gripped the back of my neck like she was gripping the little time we had together before we had to separate.
"Camz," I mumbled in the midst of her kiss.
She pulled back, taking my bottom lip softly between her teeth and then biting down on her own.
"Yeah?" she hummed.
"You know we don't have to hide anymore, right?" I reminded her. "After tonight, that's it. Everyone will know."
"Not everyone."
"No, you're right, not everyone," I nodded. "Not yet."
Her hands dropped to my sides and she locked our fingers together, backing away from the wall and pulling me with her.
"Why are you telling me all of this?" she questioned. "We already talked about it last night. I know you're planning to tell our parents."
"Because...you're kissing me like it's the only chance you'll get," I observed. "Like you're in a hurry."
"I am in a hurry. Our parents are eventually going to come looking for us."
"But that's the point, Camz," I chuckled. "We're not going to have to pretend anymore. We won't ever have to hide from them on the side of the house again. You can kiss me as much as you want and they can just deal with it."
"I don't want to push it," she worried. "We don't even know if they'll be accepting of it. We got lucky the first time, but twice?"
I smiled and shook my head, laughing to myself as I observed the worried look in her eyes. She looked like a puppy- helpless and scared but still loving and loyal. I knew she was worried, but I also knew she believed that if, for some reason, our parents didn't accept the admission of our relationship, that wouldn't change a thing between us.
"Do you remember when I kissed you on New Years almost two years ago?" I asked her.
"I wouldn't really call it kissing," she laughed. "I mean, your tongue was in my mouth in front of all of your family and friends, not to mention mine and my little sister. In fact-"
"I get it," I interrupted. "It probably wasn't a smart idea."
"But when have we ever had a smart idea?" she smirked.
"Exactly," I nodded. "It was spontaneous and surprising for everyone. I thought for sure my parents would kill me, but they didn't. They said nothing about it."
"They were probably speechless."
"So, let's give them something to talk about tonight," I encouraged. "Let's show them that we're worth more than a kiss in the middle of my living room now."
A small smile graced her lips- one that was faint enough to go unnoticed had my attention not been trained on the soft flesh that composed them, but still large enough to fill my heart with a certain intense happiness that only Camila was capable of eliciting. I broke free of her grasp and brought both my hands up to cup the side of her face, pressing our lips together softly but surely. She rested her forehead against mine when we were separated, and even though I couldn't see her face, I could still feel her smile.
"I love you, Camz," I told her.
"I love you too," she pronounced.
We separated just enough to where we were face to face and I brushed her hair out of the deep brown eyes that I so deeply adored, admiring her every feature in full detail.
"Good," I smiled. "Let's go tell everyone then."
...
Dinner went by slowly. It could have been the weight of my unspoken words begging to break free, but I was almost certain it was because, for once, everyone was getting along. It wasn't the monotonous kind of slow, it was the kind of slow that drags on and on because everything in the atmosphere is set at such a perfect tone. My parents were joking with Camila's parents, Chris was teasing Camila, Taylor was entertaining Sofi, and I watched, my hand tucked discreetly in Camila's under the table as the world slowly fell into place around me. After about an hour of normal family discussions, from embarrassing baby stories to the talk around town now that Camila and I weren't as present, my dad stood up from the table and lifted his glass above his head.
"I want to make a toast," he announced. "To Lauren, Camila, and the other three girls that make this whole journey possible- Normani, Ally, and Dinah. Here's to another great tour."
"To Fifth Harmony," Chris chimed in, raising his glass as well.
Within seconds everyone's glasses were colliding above the tabletop with shouts of, "To Fifth Harmony," ringing through the dining room. It was a liberating moment. I finally had a "Wow, we did it," moment. More than two years had come and gone since that day on the stage when I met the four girls who would become my sisters and the love of my life. We'd gone through literal hell. We'd fought our hardest and made it, all while I was fighting to keep my love alive. Camila and I had made it. Fifth Harmony had made it. I had made it, and for the first time, I acknowledged the biggest feat I'd ever accomplished.
"I'm so proud of you girls," Camila's mom smiled. "You don't even have an album out yet and you're already taking over the world."
"Mom, come on, you're going to make me cry," Camila teased. "You know we couldn't have done it without the help of our wonderful parents."
"It's true," I nodded. "You guys have been there for us through thick and thin."
"I mean, I'm not usually one to brag, but I agree we have been pretty awesome parents," my dad joked. "From the auditions to the group and now another tour."
"Not to mention when Camren finally came out," Chris added, his cheeks stuffed with food. "God knows what would have happened if you guys weren't cool with that."
"Camren?" I questioned.
"Dinah finally got to him," Camila sighed.
I laughed but quickly became quiet again as I realized we'd reached the only possible point during dinner where I could casually slip our ongoing relationship into the conversation. I could tell Camila knew the time had come as well when I felt her grip around my hand tighten immensely. It was now or never. I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat, easily drawing everyone's attention in my direction.
"I...uh...I actually have something to tell everyone," I announced.
I looked around for objections, but all I saw were expectant stares. I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the consequences of my admittance, but that was when I realized that true love should have no consequences. Camila and I weren't doing anything wrong by falling in love with each other every day. We were merely two people, drawn together by fate, on the same wild roller coaster ride through life. Our relationship wasn't a crime.
"Camila and I are back together," I informed them confidently. "We have been for a while now."
The whole table was silent for a few seconds. Even Camila was frozen solid. Chris's jaw was practically on the table. Sofi smiled. Taylor looked terrified for both of us and our parents shared unreadable glances between each other.
"Um, Lo, I love you, but how oblivious do you think we are?" Chris laughed. "We know."
"Why does everyone look so surprised then?" I questioned, my heart pounding in my chest.
"Because we never thought we'd hear you admit it," Taylor said.
I looked to my parents. My mother nodded and my father flashed a small smile, indicating that they were both already fully aware.
"But...I don't understand. Why didn't anyone say anything? I mean, is everyone okay with it?" I asked frantically, looking to my father specifically.
"Look, Lauren, at this point, everyone just wants you girls to be happy," he told me. "I never had a problem with you and Camila to begin with, I just had a problem with the idea of you getting hurt, but it's okay, because you did get hurt- both of you- and now I can see that you'll bounce right back. I can't cradle you forever. You're going to fall in love and make mistakes. It's my job as your dad to be there to support you when that happens, not dictate who you can and can't love."
Camila released a breath that she had clearly been holding in for the majority of the conversation, laughing animatedly to herself and running a hand through her hair.
"Holy shit," she sighed.
"Mila..." her dad warned.
"Sorry, but holy shit," she laughed. "You all knew?"
"It's not necessarily that we knew you were definitively together as of right now," my mom explained. "We just knew you hadn't ever stopped loving each other."
"It was annoying, actually," Chris groaned. "Every day, mom would go, 'I hope Lauren and Camila are doing okay. I wish they would just make it official again.' Maybe she'll stop now that you've finally admitted it."
"I'm sorry!" she defended. "I just want what's best for my girls."
I felt a warm smile spread across my lips at her use of the words, "My girls." It wasn't just about me anymore- to anyone. To my parents, Camila was as much of a daughter to them as I was. She was as much of a sister to my siblings as I was to Sofi. Our parents were close and would evidently stay that way for a long time. Everything that happened from that point forward wouldn't be about Camila and I individually, but rather the two of us as a family. Maybe they expected forever just as much as I did.
...
My shoes scuffed against the rough road as I walked, my arm around Camila's waist and her head on my shoulder. The street was dimly lit by the lamps that lined the sidewalk, but the night felt brighter than usual. We strolled through the neighborhood casually, silently reflecting on the events of the night. I kissed her temple and she smiled, breaking away from me slightly and taking my hand instead.
"Let's go somewhere," she suggested.
"Where are we going to go?" I questioned.
"You'll see," she smirked.
She pulled me along down a side street, keeping an even pace until we reached another corner and she stopped. I raised one eyebrow as I peered over her shoulder at the structure behind her, remembering the times we'd perched at the top of the playground in my neighborhood, but only faintly.
"Can we try again?" she asked quietly.
"No wine this time?" I joked.
"No, no wine tonight," she laughed. "No drunk Lauren. No fighting. Just us and the stars."
I kissed her gently in response. She continued to pull me along after receiving an obvious yes until we reached the metal structure. I stayed behind her as she climbed up the ladder, easily making the decent in just two steps as her legs were too long for the play set meant for people much smaller. It was amazing how much we'd grown since the last time we were there, and not just physically. Camila's full lips that once pressed against the rim of a wine bottle now had no other purpose than to mold with mine, to divulge her deepest of thoughts when we were alone, and to form the smile she wore almost permanently now. We didn't need alcohol to break the tension between us, or anything for that matter- no forced compliments or awkward hugs or hand holding. It all came naturally now. We were happy this time.
I followed her up to the top of the structure and took a seat against the railing, holding out my arms to invite her into my lap and then wrapping them firmly around her body. The stars beamed with more intensity than I knew they even contained. It was all so familiar, but entirely new.
"Do you ever get a weird sense of déjà vu when we're together?" Camila asked.
"You mean right now?" I questioned.
"Yeah, like we've been here before," she clarified.
"We have."
"No, I mean just like this," she said. "Totally in love and happier than we've ever been."
I stared up at the sky, trying to remember a time when everything was as great as it was in that exact moment, but I couldn't put my finger on anything particularly familiar.
"Maybe that's not what déjà vu is," I shrugged, allowing my own thoughts to roam free. "Maybe it's not feeling something from the past, but feeling something you'll experience again in the future."
"How many times can we come back here and do this before it gets old?" she chuckled.
"What if it's not just us next time?" I suggested. "What if...what if we're back here ten years in the future and I'm holding you just like this, but you've got our son or daughter in your arms?"
"Are you trying to insinuate that you got me pregnant?" she joked.
"Yes, Camz, that's exactly what I'm saying," I replied sarcastically. "Didn't you know? I have magic fingers."
"Don't be dirty," she scolded, slapping my leg playfully. "We were having a cute moment."
I kissed the top of her head and nestled into her neck, feeling the warmth radiating from her skin surging through me.
"Seriously," I said, getting back on track. "What if déjà vu isn't a feeling of the past, but a feeling of the future? Of forever."
"Forever is a long time," she nearly whispered.
I didn't respond, worrying for a second that we weren't quite back to the point where we could make such massive promises, but all my fears were pushed aside when she turned to connect our lips. I kissed her slowly, communicating no more than a yearning to taste her lips until she pulled away and looked straight up at me, her chocolate brown eyes burning right into mine.
"I like the idea of forever," she told me.
"Forever it is then," I smiled.
"Forever it is," she repeated.
She buried her face in the crook of my neck. I could feel her smile against my skin and couldn't help but notice how wonderful it felt to be the reason behind that special crooked grin. So many months I'd gone without seeing even a hint of her real smile, and those same several months had simultaneously been the worst mistake of my life. I'd suffered through almost a year without being the reason she smiled every day, and now I was officially back in business. I wasn't going to quit any time soon.
"I should have known," she mumbled.
"What?"
"I should have known you'd be my entire world when I saw you in line that day," she reflected. "From the second I laid eyes on you, I knew I never wanted to look at anyone else the same way I wanted to look at you. I just had no idea we'd end up with such a wild story."
"That's the beauty of it, though," I sighed. "What's the point of falling in love if it doesn't take you by surprise? Isn't that what it's supposed to do, sweep you off your feet?"
"That's sure as hell what it did to me," she nodded. "You knocked me on my ass. Hard. It didn't hurt, though. It's like, you knocked the wind out of me, but you were right there to catch me."
"I would say you knocked the wind out of me too, but I think it's the opposite," I told her. "You gave me breath. You still do. You're my life- the entire reason my heart beats and the earth spins beneath my feet."
So many months had gone by where my world had stopped moving. Everything was in slow motion around me, or maybe I was just moving too quickly to stop and see what I was missing. Almost a year had passed without Camila in my arms, without her lips pressed to mine, and without her smile to remind me why I, myself, smiled every single day. Now, I had all that back. She was in my arms, her lips belonged to mine once more, and I could taste the remains of her smile after each kiss we shared, only this time, there was no threat that could possibly come along and separate us, but instead, the promise of forever.
•••
One more chapter left!
As a side note, my girlfriend and I have started a YouTube channel and would love for you guys to check us out. If you enjoy watching us, like, comment, and subscribe! Here's the link!
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC4ZJ21CQo3RKqz-CIpuVgyQ