March, 2013
I rolled over in bed to cuddle up to Lauren, only to find that her spot was occupied by the oversized teddy bear that she won me. I groaned and squeezed the bear instead but sat up when I felt a piece of paper brush against my skin. I located the paper tied to the bear by a string and pulled it off, careful not to disturb the eloquent penmanship on the front that read:
Happy Sweet 16 little nugget!
Come downstairs when you wake up if you want food, which I know you will.
Lauren
I shook my head as a smile spread across my face.
"You and your notes, Lauren," I mumbled under my breath.
I ran a hand through my hair and skipped down the stairs, halting at the bottom when I didn't see a single soul in sight.
"Guys?" I called, scanning the kitchen for any sign of movement.
No response.
I jumped down the last two stairs and rounded the corner into the living room. The lights were off and everything was exactly as it had been left the night before. It was almost as if everyone had disappeared in the middle of the night. I shrugged, assuming they had expected me to sleep later and gone out to run errands and would return later. I got the milk out of the refrigerator and poured a glass, taking a sip and missing my mouth by a hair. The cold liquid spilled down my shirt and I cursed under my breath, sitting the glass down and jogging towards the laundry room to retrieve a clean shirt. I stopped before I got to the hallway and felt around for the light switch, stopping abruptly when I heard a faint shuffling sound coming from the corner.
I squinted and tried my best to see in the dark hallway, but it was no use. I stepped forward and turned the knob on the door to the laundry room.
I jumped clean out of my skin when a chorus of voices yelled, "SURPRISE!" behind me, causing me to spin around and place my hand over my heart to keep it from beating out of my chest.
Dinah flipped the light on and wrapped her arm around my shoulders as I took in the amount of people that stood in front of me. My entire family was there along with the girls, all smiling at their successful attempt at scaring me half to death.
"You guys scared the crap out of me," I laughed as Dinah pulled me into the living room.
Normani turned on the stereo as my family came up to hug me.
"Happy birthday!" Sofi squeaked, hugging my leg tightly.
My mom pulled me into a tight embrace and my dad joined us, suffocating me in a group hug and rambling about how much he had missed me.
Each of the girls did the same until it was Lauren's turn. She cupped both sides of my face with her hands and kissed me passionately on the lips.
"Happy birthday," she smiled.
"So far," I agreed, winking at her and separating from her so that she could collect a chocolate cake from the kitchen counter.
"How did I miss that?" I wondered aloud, watching as my dad lit the candles.
Lauren carried the cake over to me and bounced up and down excitedly as everyone began to sing Happy Birthday.
"Make a wish," she prompted when they were finished.
"Do I really have to?" I whispered.
She rolled her eyes playfully and shoved the cake in my direction. "Shut up and make a wish."
I looked around at the scene before me- my family, my best friends, my girlfriend, all together for my birthday. I loved each and every one of them more than life itself, and the fact that they were all gathered in our new apartment in a city that we had worked so hard to make it to made me realize how blessed I actually was. What did I have to wish for? I had everything I could have ever wanted. I had a family that supported everything I did. I had three best friends by my side the entire time. I had a girlfriend that made me happy every single day of my life. I almost felt like wishing for more was selfish. I already had everything I could have ever dreamed of.
I closed my eyes and blew out the candles, deciding last minute to wish for a great year with the people I loved most. Everyone clapped and wished me a happy sweet sixteen. My mom cut the cake and passed it out while everyone else gathered in the living room, sitting around the coffee table that was littered with cards and gift bags.
"Open mine first!" Dinah demanded, shoving a bag in my direction.
I pulled out the tissue paper and tossed it aside, revealing a picture frame that held a collage of the two of us.
"Awh, Dinah...this is so cute," I smiled.
"I figured you could use a little bit of my face to spice up your room," she shrugged sarcastically.
My mom collected the paper and Normani handed me a bag next, informing me that she and Ally both chipped in for that particular gift.
I turned the bag upside down and emptied its contents onto my lap. Dozens of bows spilled out and my mom groaned.
"More? Doesn't she already have enough?" she complained, shaking her head and taking the bag from my hands.
"Please, mom, you can never have enough bows," I said.
"We had a feeling you'd say something like that," Ally told me.
"Thanks guys, I'll never go bow-less again!" I exclaimed, hugging both of them and then returning to my remaining presents.
"Open mine next," Sofi pleaded, handing me a poorly wrapped package.
I smiled and took the parcel from her, pretending to shake it and guess what was under the wrapping. I pulled back a little bit of paper to reveal a tuft of pink fur, raising my eyebrows at my sister as I pulled the remainder of the stuffed toy out of the wrapping.
"I got it for you so that when we're apart you always have a piece of me," she told me. "It's a unicorn and it's name is Ifos."
"Ifos? Like...Sofi backwards?" I asked.
She nodded proudly and held her arms out, waiting for me to return the gesture. I wrapped her up in a tight hug and told her thank you, keeping the stuffed toy close to my chest once she pulled away.
My parents handed me a card and a gift box and sat patiently while I tore into the envelope. I opened the card to reveal several hundred dollars and immediately put it back in the envelope.
"Guys...I appreciate it but that's too much," I argued. "I don't need all that."
My dad dismissed my comment with a wave of his hand. "We figured you'd like to go shopping now that you're in Los Angeles. You need it more than we do."
I gave them an appreciative smile and began working on the gift box, pulling back the lid to reveal a handful of clothing.
"You gave me money to go shopping and then bought me clothes?" I laughed.
"Well...you don't have to use the money for clothes," my mom corrected. "You could buy anything...or you could use it to take Lauren on dates."
Lauren nudged my elbow playfully and raised her eyebrows, nodding in agreement with the idea.
"Thank you guys," I chuckled, ignoring Lauren and hugging both of my parents.
I sat back down next to Lauren and she placed her hand on my knee and handed me a thin package wrapped in tissue paper.
"What is it?" I asked her.
"Maybe you should open it and find out," she joked.
I ripped into the tissue and pulled out two vinyl records.
"What's that?" my mom questioned.
"It's the Arctic Monkeys and Vampire Weekend vinyls..." I answered, a confused look on my face. "But Lo, I don't have a record player."
"Ah," she exclaimed, getting off the couch and extending her hand towards me. "That's where you're wrong."
She pulled me through the living room and to the stairs as I followed hesitantly behind her, confused as to where she was taking me.
"We won't be long," she called to the group as she ran up the stairs, pulling me behind her.
She stopped outside our room and released my hand.
"Close your eyes," she instructed.
I did as she said and walked into the room with her hand on my waist to guide me.
"Okay, open," she said.
She stood in front of me with her arms outstretched, motioning to a brand new record player that sat on the dresser.
"Oh my God, Lauren, are you serious?" I gasped, walking over to the machine and fiddling with the needle.
"How are you supposed to listen to your favorite records without a record player?" she asked rhetorically. "Put one on and see how it sounds."
I opened up the Arctic Monkeys record and pulled out the disc, sliding it onto the player and placing the needle carefully over the vinyl. The first song started to play quietly and she wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me into her.
"I feel kind of bad," she admitted, a sarcastic tone in her voice. "I feel like I should have gotten you something more. You only turn sixteen once."
"Lauren, this is more than enough," I promised her.
"Maybe you should put the Vampire Weekend record on though...you know, just to see how it sounds," she suggested.
"But I just put Arctic Monkeys on there..."
"I think that you should test out Vampire Weekend," she insisted.
I sighed and broke away from her, opening the remaining record and stopping dead in my tracks when I noticed that something was out of place.
I gently lifted the silver chain that held a heart shaped charm, tearing off the tape that held it to the inside of the record and holding it up to examine it.
"It's beautiful," I observed, causing Lauren's lips to curl up into a smile.
"I think it would look better on you," she said, taking the necklace from my hands and turning me around so that she could place it on me.
She brushed her fingers lightly against my neck as she moved my hair out of the way and clasped the jewelry together. She turned me back around to face her and held me out at arm's length to examine the charm.
"Oh yeah, it definitely looks better on you," she smiled, leaning in to kiss me softly on the lips.
"Thank you," I whispered, resting my forehead against hers.
"Happy birthday," she answered, kissing the tip of my nose.
We remained pressed together for several minutes, listening to the staticky sound of the record as it played, our arms around one another and our lips only inches from each other. She exhaled and pulled back, toying with the charm around my neck.
"We should probably get back to the party," she reminded me.
She kissed me once more and locked our fingers together, leading me down the stairs and into the waiting arms of my family.
...
My mom knocked quietly on the door and cracked it slightly, peaking her head in enough to observe me as I put in my earrings.
"We have to leave in fifteen minutes if we want to make it to our reservations on time," she informed me.
I made an "OK" sign with my hands and pulled my hair in front of me, letting the loose waves fall over my shoulders.
"You don't think I'm overdoing it? It's just dinner," I worried, turning towards my mom for approval.
She looked me up and down, taking in the white skirt that reached halfway down my thighs and then observing the baby blue blouse that hung loosely around my figure, all tied together with a light makeup job and loosely curled hair.
"I think you look beautiful," she complimented. "It's your birthday, wear what you want."
I nodded nervously and took one more look in the mirror before stepping into my heels and following her out the door, stopping in front of the bathroom and knocking on the door.
"Just a second," Lauren called from the other side.
"We have to leave in ten minutes," I told her.
"I'll be out in a minute," she said impatiently.
My mom continued down the stairs and I leaned against the wall outside the bathroom, playing with my fingers nervously while I waited on Lauren to emerge.
My parents had made surprise dinner reservations to accompany their surprise trip to LA for my birthday. They had just failed to mention that Lauren would be joining us. I knew they were accepting of our relationship, but it was still new to me. I hadn't quite grasped the idea that we had come out to our families yet, and I still feared judgment in the back of my mind. That, in combination with the fear that my family would say something embarrassing during dinner was enough to have my stomach in knots as I waited outside the door.
I finally heard the lock click and the door opened. Lauren stepped out and smiled thoughtfully.
"You look beautiful," she told me, kissing me once before taking my hand and leading me down the hallway.
She wore a white dress that framed her figure perfectly, her long, dark waves accenting her green eyes. Still so effortlessly stunning.
I tugged on her hand and she spun around to face me. I pushed her gently against the wall and pressed my lips to hers, careful not to mess up her lipstick as her hands found their way to my waist.
"You look beautiful," I reciprocated.
She kissed me again and I watched as one corner of her mouth curled into that familiar smirk that I adored so much.
"Don't do that," I pouted.
"What?" she asked knowingly.
"Don't look all adorable and turn me on right before we leave," I answered.
She shifted so that I was against the wall and her body was pressed up against me, her hands on my sides just below my ribs.
"We still have five minutes," she half-whispered, her voice raspy and seductive as usual.
She leaned in until her lips hovered just above mine and I could feel her breath on my skin, making my head spin with desire. She kissed me softly, barely applying pressure before pulling back and reconnecting our lips again, this time more aggressively as her hands wandered to my stomach and pushed me up against the wall.
"CAMILA!" my mom yelled from downstairs. "We have to go!"
Lauren pulled back and bit down on her bottom lip, nodding towards the stairs and motioning for me to follow her.
"Talk about bad timing," I mumbled.
"To be continued," she said, grabbing my hand and skipping down the steps.
...
My dad opened the door to the restaurant and ushered us inside, eliciting several gasps from the patrons as we entered.
"Are they excited to see us or are they just surprised that we still exist?" I joked, keeping my voice low as I addressed Lauren.
"Maybe they just think you look really good," she shrugged, pulling out my chair for me.
The waiter immediately took our drink orders and returned moments later. Everyone ordered and finally settled in, and the small talk began.
"So how has the music been coming along?" my dad asked both me and Lauren.
"Really good actually," I told him. "They're expecting the first single to be released by June."
"Really? That's fantastic!" my mom exclaimed.
I nodded in agreement and took a sip of my drink.
"How have you two been?" my dad continued. "Your relationship, I mean."
Lauren and I both exchanged a knowing look and she raised her eyebrows, signaling for me to answer.
"Good," I squeaked, afraid to give away too many details.
"Just good?" my dad questioned, leaning forward to address us more quietly.
"It's been really good," Lauren added, squeezing my hand under the table. "It's been four months now."
"You've been together for four months?" my mom gasped.
"Well...four months since we kissed the first time. It's complicated. We didn't label ourselves for the first few months but I couldn't stand it anymore," Lauren explained. "I had to ask her to be my girlfriend."
She smiled at me and I returned the favor, feeling my cheeks turn red at her use of the word, "girlfriend."
"Well, just so you know," my dad started. "We're totally supportive of you two, okay? We don't care if you're gay or not, you both mean the world to us. You're like a daughter to us, Lauren."
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and Lauren released my hand and cleared her throat.
"Dad...Lauren's not-" I began.
Lauren nudged my foot under the table and I cut myself off, looking at her with a confused look on my face. She shook her head subtly and I composed myself, my heart still pounding in my chest out of fear that she would become angry at my dad's label.
"What does gay mean?" Sofi asked.
"Uh..." my dad stammered. "It uh...it's when two people that are the same gender like each other. Like how Lauren and Camila are both girls and they like each other. They're gay, and that's okay."
"Dad, Lauren's not gay," I blurted out.
He cocked his head to one side and raised an eyebrow, casting a quick glance at my mom who had a similar look on her face.
Lauren sighed and sat her silverware on her plate, leaning her forearms against the table.
"I don't want to label myself," she explained. "I'm in love with your daughter. I'm absolutely, head over heels in love with your daughter, but I'm not gay. I still know a cute boy when I see one, I just don't look at them the same way I look at Camz. I don't look at anyone the way I look at Camz."
My mom cleared her throat and took a sip of her drink.
"Well, that's okay too," she said. "That's probably better, actually. We support the two of you no matter what."
I sighed in relief upon hearing her words. Lauren continued eating and I knew she had let the earlier assumption bounce off of her. Maybe she was no longer discouraged by the constant labeling that she received, or maybe she just needed to hear someone say they supported her, but it didn't seem to affect her too much. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. We continued dinner, laughing and talking about life in LA, discussing what music we could, and breaking down barriers with each second that passed. I was thankful that my parents were so supportive, because even if Lauren was confused about her sexuality, we both knew one thing for sure...
We loved each other way too much to care what anyone thought.
•••
As a side note, my girlfriend and I have started a YouTube channel and would love for you guys to check us out. If you enjoy watching us, like, comment, and subscribe! Here's the link!
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC4ZJ21CQo3RKqz-CIpuVgyQ