They were almost out of the haunted forest. It gave way to a clearing. Small patches of grass laid to either side of them and a dirt road in front of them. Cyrus' shoes kicked up rocks causing Ari to pay more attention to the graveled sounds coming from their footsteps. They were loud and raucous. Anyone or anything could hear them.
Ari did not feel comfortable with Kaval leaving the way he did. He knew something was amiss and he did not want Auovin or Cyrus apart of what it could be. But he could not tell a thing to Cyrus without losing his trust with Kaval. Ari had to figure something out on his own.
"I want to go back," Ari said.
Cyrus stopped and pushed back the long hairs falling in front of Ari's face.
"Go back where?" Cyrus said as continued to mess with Ari's hair, pushing it back and styling it in a way that he liked.
"To Freir and Rein."
"It is too late. I warned you, but you did not listen. Now you must choose."
"I cannot. Not like this... "Ari murmured.
Cyrus lifted his chin up and gazed into his eyes.
"And why is that? Has that Great made such an impression on you that you become this uncertain thing? You know where your heart lays. Maybe it lays with some other as well."
"That is not it! I am not so fickle. Kaval is a friend and he knows a part of who I am. A part of me that you both so conveniently kept hidden. I cannot embrace one side without knowing the other."
Cyrus frowned and looked at their surroundings.
"Must I be ashamed?"
"I am not saying you should be... " Cyrus narrowed his eyes and continued to look away from him.
"Then why? Because of the past? It has nothing to do with me."
Cyrus scoffed.
"So you can easily dismiss the grievances of others?"
Ari licked his lips and furrowed his brows. "No... I did not mean it in that way."
"There is bad blood between them, yes, but not for such trivial reasons as you are assuming. Auovin may sound as if he is a spurned lover... Perhaps he is. But that is not all there is to it. Not to him. Not to me. If you decide to go to them, I will not have any more ties with you. My feelings will not be belittled by someone so ignorant and self-righteous. Nor will I allow his."
There was a squeezing feeling in his chest at Cyrus' blunt words. Ari thought he had grown used to it, but when he spoke to him that way it made his throat tighten and his eyes water.
"How can I know when you both refuse to tell me anything?" Ari muttered, exasperated. "You complain of my human mannerisms and my ignorance, but you teach me nothing. You dismiss my wants and put yours ahead."
"My wants and his are the same."
"Are they?"
Cyrus narrowed his eyes at him. His lips drew tight and his hands clenched into fists.
"Because you have been disappearing as of late when you once stuck so close to him I thought you would never let me in between what you shared together."
"That does not mean a thing."
"And Sai... "
Cyrus' eyes dropped to the ground at the name.
"Once I believed Auovin was all you would ever see, but I did not realize Sai was someone you saw quite clearly."
"He and I share the same likeness for blood. I do not want him for such reasons."
"Blood and body do not equate to one another... Yet you... "
"You are young. You do not know a thing," Cyrus said smiling. "Blood tastes better and lasts longer when you are intimate. What matters is if you share your name. Do not bother entertaining such thoughts when all I have in mind is you... and Auovin."
Ari's face flushed.
"Do not be so jealous either. You take from me, but I cannot take from the either of you."
"I would not care either way... "
"Because you like him?"
"I do like him... but I would not mind... if you liked him as well."
Cyrus stared at him. Ari's ears were burning up. Ari was melting under his gaze. Cyrus' green eyes seemed to have a way of doing that to him time and time again.
"It is no wonder Auovin has taken a liking to you. You are so much like him which should not surprise me, but it does."
Ari took hold of Cyrus' shirt keeping him from moving.
"I like you... as much as I like Auovin. I did not mean to hurt your feelings. I am sorry if I had... I just... " Ari crumpled the bit of Cyrus' shirt in his hand. "I just want to know things. Tell me, and surely I will understand you. I do not know much about you, but you know everything about me, after all."
Cyrus turned around and looked at Ari. He let go of a small sigh before removing Ari's hand from his shirt. He left a soft kiss on the back of it.
"Such as?"
"How you came to know Auovin... and why you have grown such love for a man who seems to be doing things you may not fully agree with."
"When the fall happened... the demons that were not raised up were hunted and killed. For those who survived the first wave, they learned to adapt and survive by blending in with the humans. There were those of us who could not, however... for reasons you may think laughable but something we cannot hide very well."
Ari stared into his eyes seeing his growing discomfort. There was much suffering in those eyes. The same as when he had first saw them when Cyrus took him to see Ylanan. He did not like it. It pricked at his heart and made it bleed.
"I was one of them... " Cyrus murmured. "And the life given to me was a pitiful one. I was a tormented soul then... Some part of me still is. You can never truly forget. It stays with you like a spector waiting for you to give in, so it can swallow you whole."
Cyrus was only touching the surface with Ari. He did not want to go into much detail; not even the smallest fraction of it. Like Auovin, Cyrus was reluctant to tell Ari anything and it was not because he did not want to. It was for the fear of reliving it in their minds. Memories could be painful. Ari knew that very well. Especially the ones you try to forget the most.
"What reasons were those?" Ari pressed.
"The fangs... the markings... and ultimately the comely look that attracts humans to us."
"I see... " Ari had an idea of what reason Cyrus may have fallen under. He was attractive and very much so.
"I was cast down so low, I did not think I would have been able to raise my head again."
"And that was because...? " Ari was forcing himself to press for more. He wanted to know even though he knew it would hurt Cyrus. Was it a cruel thing for him to do?
Cyrus sighed and brushed his hair back.
"When we are not given blood for a very long time, if old enough, we do not die. We weaken. We weaken so much we can be like a human with human strength."
Ari did not like where the story was headed, but he had asked so he must listen.
"And because of such a reason, I was under the thumb of a human for over twenty years. It does not seem like much time to us, but the time I spent there seemed like two hundred years. I hated the ones raised up as Gods then. I felt as though they abandoned us and left us to the mercy of humans. We were like slaves."
Ari parted his lips but no words came out.
"And like what slaves do, we did as was told."
Cyrus took a breath and went on. "A body, to us blood demons, is an intimate thing to share. Even if there is no love, there should be meaning present. When there is not... When there is not... There is nothing but shame and humiliation felt."
"I am sorry... " Ari felt a heaviness in his chest, regretting ever even asking him.
"So I cannot be so forgiving as you," Cyrus murmured. "And I cannot abandon Auovin in whatever decisions he chooses to make because even when I made terrible choices he was there with me."
"Because he saved you?"
Cyrus shook his head. "I suppose... in a way, but not really. As you know with us, nothing comes without a price."
"So then why...?"
"I had not seen another demon like myself until I saw Auovin laying near a fountain of water. His hair was longer and skin lighter like honey. Back then, his markings were present as ever and they were breath-taking like himself. Without even having tasted his blood, I knew he was strong and had the power to free me from my servitude... Even though I asked, he told me no."
Ari's eyes widened.
"He told me we are not weak things and we do not rely on the help of others. If you want something then take it. Do not wait for someone to do it for you." Cyrus scoffed away a smile. "Those are the words he had given me."
"That is... "
"He did not spoil me as he does with you. He let me fall and make mistakes. He let me make my own choices and when I decided to follow him it was not because he asked me to or because I thought I owed him something. I admired him and that admiration had grown into love over the centuries spent with him."
Ari's heart warmed at the expression lingering on Cyrus' face when he spoke of Auovin. That pain that was so present before had disappeared completely. Ari knew from the moment he had first seen them together how much in love Cyrus was with Auovin, but he never knew how deeply until now.
"So then trust in me. I will come back to you. I will. I am not choosing them."
Cyrus pressed a hand to his cheek. No words came from his lips, but Ari knew what his answer was.
"Before then... The town up ahead... or at least what is left of it... Go there and rest. I will go find Auovin."
Ari grabbed his hand just as he was walking away. Cyrus' hand was warm and soft. It was larger than his and there was power felt from that simple touch Ari did not notice before. Truly, they were much different than anything he has ever known. Ari did not think he could ever fully come to understand the intricacies that made up who they were.
"What is it?" Cyrus said, pulling Ari out of his thoughts.
"I-- Would you... come with me?"
"I assure you there is not a living soul there."
Ari's brows furrowed of what that could mean and what he could have possibly done. Unlike Auovin, he was not so cruel. At least so he thought.
"That is not a comforting thought," Ari said.
"We spoke of this once before. Stand on your own two feet. Do not lean on me for every little thing that discomforts you."
Darkness and demons did not scare Ari. Being alone did not either. It was something he had grown used to over the years. What matter was it when he had to spend a night in such a place alone? Ari chewed his lip. He let go of Cyrus then, not wanting to admit to the true reason why he wanted him there. How could he?
"You are right... "Ari murmured.
Cyrus brought his head up to meet his green ones.
"Unless I am there for another reason, a much more... intimate reason, I will happily go."
Ari bit down on his lip, growing frustrated with himself. He did not know whether Cyrus was teasing him or genuinely asking him. Cyrus was direct with everything he did and said, so it was more than likely the former.
"If only for a bit," Cyrus added before thumbing Ari's bottom lip.
Cyrus turned away from him and looked at their surroundings with narrowed eyes. Ari brought his attention right back to him with a simple tug on his arm. He knew what Cyrus was sensing almost immediately. It was uncanny.
"If it is Kaval you are worried about, do not worry. Really, he is only trying to keep me safe. It does not matter if he follows me there."
"That is not a comforting thought," Cyrus said. It made Ari laugh a little, but Cyrus' face stayed rigid. Ari could not help but be amused. It was one of the many reasons why Ari had fallen in love with him.
"If it is not a comforting thought... you should come. I will give you the comfort that will put your heart at ease then."
Cyrus scoffed away a smile. "Is that so?"
"Very much so," Ari whispered.
Cyrus said no more and continued to walk towards the town that was coming up past the clearing.
Ari was not dumb. He knew what Cyrus was trying to go off to do and he would not allow it. Kaval was his friend which they both readily dismiss or ignore in the same way as his love for Freir. Ari understood where their pain came from. He sympathized with them, but he could not agree with them. And when you did not agree, you diverged. Eventually, you clashed. Ari did not want that, but what other choice did he have?
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[A/N]
Haha, Ari has won some alone time with our favorite blond grouch. On another note, I hate seeing Ari so conflicted and falling into bad behaviors. Auovin has had a major effect on Ari as I come to re-evaluate his character and it kinda upsets me. Ari still really loves them, but doesn't agree with their choices... So what choice do you think Ari is going to make? These are my thoughts. Leave me your thoughts down below~.
❤️ You already know what I'm going to say, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Thank you guys for reading, commenting and voting! I will try to keep the updates for this book steady.❤️