Flashback in bold*
Lauren POV
"Lauren, just calm down. Please." Ally yells at me as I'm pacing the floor. My Spanish becoming more and more aggressive by the minute, I can see she is ready to blow. "Lauren, please. I barely have a clue what you are saying, and I want to help you. Just stop!"
"Sorry." I feel an instant calm settle over me as she places her hands on my shoulders. "I just, she's at a club with another woman."
"She's what?" Brown eyes widening, I can feel the anger rage from within my friend. "Have you spoken to her since you walked out last night?"
"No." I shake my head. Tears now falling from my eyes.
"You haven't spoken to her at all? Lo, I told you to go and see her." Rolling her eyes at me, it's clear that she isn't quite finished. "When I came by last night, you didn't really seem to care. You were refusing to back down, but I can see her point. If you two get caught, you lose nothing, Lauren. Of course, she is going to be worried that I know."
"But-"
"But I also understand your point. You know that I'm not going to go telling the whole of campus, but she doesn't even know me. All she knows is that I can blow up on her when I please. You have to talk to her, Lauren."
"No, no way. Not now." I begin pacing again, and Ally moves out of my way. "She can't just swap between me and whoever she feels like. It doesn't work that way. I asked her to take the time to think, not get someone else in her bed."
"Have you heard yourself? Do you really think she is that type of person?" She laughs. "And besides, you don't even know that anything happened."
"Do you know who she was with?" I raise an eyebrow.
"No. I do not ." My best friend shakes her head and drops her gaze. "You have to talk to her, Lo. You can't keep ignoring her calls. She is trying to work things out with you."
"I know, I just don't think I can face her. Not when I know she has been having drinks with that whore." I laugh. "Really? She would choose her over me?"
"No, Lauren. You have to stop this. Go and speak to her. You don't know anything right now, so what is the point in torturing yourself?" Ally softens her tone. "How did you even know where she was?"
"I followed her from the restaurant. I was going to go into the club and talk to her. I'd had enough of sitting around when I knew that I hadn't given her much of a choice. I just, I wanted to apologise." I sigh as fresh tears fall from my eyes.
"So you know that you were in the wrong?"
"Why was I in the wrong?" My eyes widening, Ally tries to quickly calm the argument that is about to ensue.
"For walking away, Lo." Smiling, she sits me down. "Look, I know I didn't like her to begin with, but she makes you happy. I know you want to be able to show her off to the world, but it just can't happen. One day, though, you will be able to do whatever you please. Just, understand it from her perspective. I'm sure she wants the same, but you have to just go with it for now."
"Thank you," I state as I wrap my arms around my best friend.
"For what?"
"Keeping me sane." I smile. "I just need a few days to figure everything out."
"Well, I'd figure it out quickly. She won't wait around for you forever."
....
I'd spent four nights going over everything in my head. I knew what I wanted, but I needed a little space. Maybe I took a few days too long, but I'm here now. I'd woken up this morning with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I don't know what caused it, but it was enough to wake me. That to me said that I had to sort things out with Normani.
I'd been unfair by refusing her calls during the week, but come Saturday, I realised that she had stopped. Who can blame her? I don't, but it gave me a little cause for concern. Had she given up? I didn't know, but I had to find out.
Throwing on some sweats and a hoodie, I rushed down to my car and fired up the engine. Thankfully, Sunday morning means less traffic. Arriving at Normani's place in record time, I pull myself from my car and head straight up the drive. Knowing that I need to see her now, I knock loudly and pray that she is here. Getting no reply, I continue to knock until I curl my fist and pound a little harder.
Ten minutes later, I hear her yelling through the door. I know that I've woken her, but right now I don't care. Her door swinging open, I just stare. She looks worn. Her eyes don't have that sparkle I love, and her skin is a little more pale than usual, with dark circles around her eyes.
"Can I help you, Miss Jauregui?" Her words cold, I can feel the tears forming in my eyes.
"Hi." I croak out. "Um-"
"What can I do for you?" She asks. Arms folded across her chest.
"C-Can I come in?" Don't beg, Lauren. It's embarrassing.
"What for?" She furrows her brow and I realise that she no longer cares about what we are doing.
"To talk." I give her a pleading look, and I can see she is tired. Tired of this. Tired of me.
"You come here and pound my door at 8 in the morning and you think I want to talk?" Scoffing, she moves away from the door and steps aside.
Stepping inside, I breathe a sigh of relief. "Thank you."
"You've had four days to come by and talk, Lauren. I really don't know what there is to say." She sighs and takes a seat. "I don't even know what I've done, so I have nothing to say."
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah?" She raises an eyebrow.
"Yes. So sorry, Normani."
"For what exactly?" I can see she is confused, and I know she has every right to be.
"For the past few days. Just, when I saw you with her, I coul-" Cutting me off, she stands and shakes her head.
"Wait, you thought I was cheating on you?" Giving me an incredulous look, I know right then that I'm wrong. So wrong. She doesn't even know that I was thinking it, so it obviously wasn't happening. "I don't believe this. I-I don't believe you."
"Do you think we could sit down and work this out?" I ask, moving a little closer. When she doesn't back away, I take that as my permission to close the distance some more. "I really want to talk."
"'So did I, Lauren. I wanted to talk almost a week ago. I wanted to talk when you walked out of my door. I just, I don't even know what to say to you right now."
"Then don't say anything. Just hear me out?" Taking her hand in my own, I give her a sad smile. "Please?"
Gaining a slight nod from her, I pull her towards the couch and sit us both down. Refusing to let go of her hand, I take a breath and close my eyes. "I understand. I understand why you panicked last week. I know you have a lot to lose, and I should have spoken to you before I sat Ally down. It was thoughtless of me, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have walked out of here, but I did. I did and I don't ever plan on doing that again. Just seeing you with her. She is like the whore of the campus, Normani. She sleeps with everyone."
"You don't trust me." After everything I've just said, that is what she gives me? Okay. "I have spent my days and nights wondering if you would ever come back. If you would ever talk to me again, and you were sat at home thinking I had another woman in my bed." Her voice breaking, I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt hit me square in the stomach. But I do trust her. "I don't care who she is or what she does, I don't even know her. I'd never." Shaking her head, she stopped herself from repeating what I thought had been happening, and I'm thankful. I'm thankful because right now, I'm embarrassed. How could I ever think that she would do that? I know she wouldn't do that. The green eyed monster came out to play. Fucker!
"Normani, I do." I sigh.
"You don't, Lauren." She sits back in her seat and brings her hands up to her face. "I can't be with someone that doesn't trust me." I take her into my arms and pray to whoever may be listening that I can get this woman back.
"I'm sorry. Please don't cry." My thumb grazing her dampened cheek, I can't take my eyes off of hers. "Please believe that I trust you." Pressing a kiss to her lips, I wait for her to pull away but she doesn't. Whispering "I'm sorry" between kisses, I feel my own tears slipping down my face.
"Lauren, I-"
"Please don't. Don't end us." Turning my body, I find myself straddling her legs, and I'm unable to stop myself. I've left this woman to sit alone and worry for almost a week and right now, I need to be as close to her as possible. Resting my head in the crook of her neck, I take in her scent and close my eyes. "Please don't."
Her arms wrapping around my waist, she pulls me in closer and cry. "Is this how it's always going to be?"
Pulling back, I look into her eyes and see the hurt and worry. "No, baby." I shake my head. "I'm too far gone to get out of this, Normani, and I think you are too."
"Can you honestly say you want to be with me, like this? The secrecy, and the late night meeting?" She narrows her eyes waiting for my response. "If not, then we have to stop this now. I'm over Ally knowing, but it can't go any further than her right now. You understand that, right?"
"I do." I smile. "I don't care if we have to stay like this. I just want you, Normani. I do trust you, and I know that given half the chance, we can be amazing together."
"God, I hope so." She sighs. "I didn't mean to panic the other day. I just, I know you said Ally knew but knowing that she had heard it from your own mouth, I just, I freaked, and I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I went a little overboard in my reaction, too."
"I'd never cheat on you, Lauren." Pressing a kiss to my lips. "You are more than enough, even when we are fighting."
"No more fighting," I say.
"No more fighting." Giving me a nod in agreement, she lifts me off of her lap and stands. "Come on."
"Um, where are we going?" Furrowing my brow, I can see the tiredness setting back into blue eyes.
"I just need another hour or two, and I'd like you to lie with me. I've missed having you next to me."
"I've missed being next to you."
....
Laying on my back with Normani draped over me, I press a kiss to her curls and remove myself from her bed. I know she will be waking soon, and the sound coming from within me signals my need for food. Quietly making my way downstairs, I rummage through the cupboards and the refrigerator and stand staring at the ingredients in front of me. She won't mind if I help myself.
Setting a fresh pot of coffee, I go about my business in her kitchen. Pancakes and bacon are always a good choice. Who doesn't like that? Mixing up the batter, I pour a generous amount into the pan and let it cook.
Turning to grab a couple of eggs, I find her stood watching me, leant against the doorframe. "Hey." She smiles, looking significantly better than she did a few hours ago.
"Hey, yourself." I give her my best smile.
"You look good standing in my kitchen." She shrugs and closes the distance between us.
"You're only saying that because I'm making you breakfast." Laughing, I lean in and give her a kiss. "But I'll take whatever I can get right now."
"Stay with me." She rushes her words out as though I'm about to leave.
"When? Tonight?" I ask.
"Today, tonight...tomorrow?"
"Today, yes. What about going to campus, though? Someone could see us." I desperately want to, but I'm worried.
"We won't leave together. I have to be in before you. I'll just leave you with my spare key. Just leave whenever you are ready." She says, nonchalantly.
"Y-You're sure?" My eyes narrowing, I can see she has a slight smile on her face.
"Yes, Lauren. I'm sure. I just want us to get a little closer. I want us to be here together. I'm tired of wondering when I'll see you again. I don't want to have to lock my office door just to spend time with you."
"Okay."
"Okay?" Her eyes widening, I turn and see that our pancakes are burning.
"Shit!" Taking the pan from the hob, I throw it in the sink and sigh. "That's breakfast ruined."
"It's okay. I know something much more satisfying that I could eat right now." Pulling me out of the kitchen and back up the stairs, I feel my entire body ignite. "I mean, I'm sure your cooking is amazing, but I'd like to have breakfast in bed."
"Oh!" I feign shock. "Well, I'm not going to argue with that. Breakfast in bed always sounds like a good idea." Throwing her a wink, she drags me into her bedroom and slams the door shut with my body.
I can't fuck up again. I simply can't. This is the final time we have makeup sex. As hot as it is, it's the last time.