"A group?" Chris asked, his mouth full of spaghetti.
"Yes, Chris, a group. Myself and four other girls. We're a team now," I reiterated for the nth time that day.
"But doesn't that, like, decrease your chances of making it as a solo artist?"
"I guess so, but I'm not a solo artist anymore," I thought aloud.
Taylor wiped her hands on her napkin and threw it onto the dinner table, evidentially frustrated with the recurring conversation my brother and I were having.
"You know who One Direction is, right Chris?" she asked impatiently.
"Of course," he answered.
"It's like that. They all auditioned as solo artists, Simon thought they would be better as a group, and here they are, changing the world with a fan base of millions and counting," she explained.
"Just don't forget about us when you have millions of fans," my dad said to me with a wink.
"I could never forget about you guys," I said sincerely. "You're the reason I'm even here today."
My parents smiled at me and continued to eat their dinner, the obvious dread of later that evening lingering in their minds but never leaving their mouths.
"You know you guys will see me again soon, right?" I asked all of them, sitting my fork down on my plate and wiping my palms on the napkin placed in my lap.
"We know," my mom answered. "We knew we'd have to leave you eventually, I just don't think the reality of it set in until now."
"Well, we still have..." I paused to look at the clock on my phone, "two hours before you guys have to be at the airport for your flight back to Miami. We might as well spend it together."
"Don't you have band stuff to do?" Chris asked sarcastically.
"It can wait. In fact, why don't you all come and meet the other girls," I suggested.
Everyone exchanged a contemplative look and turned to me for further assurance.
"It's fine guys. Their families have already left. You might as well get to know who I'll be spending the next few weeks with," I promised, a hint of finality in my tone.
"I'd love to meet them," my mom announced.
"Good, then it's settled," I concluded.
My dad shrugged and continued to pick at his salad. I could see Taylor look at me nervously from the corner of my eye and knew exactly what she was thinking. I was inviting my family to meet the girls and I didn't even really know them yet myself. I didn't even know if they liked me. And, most importantly, I didn't even know if we would make it through the judges' house at all.
...
I shushed my brother and sister as we made our way down the hall back to my hotel room where the girls were waiting for us. "People are trying to sleep. We're all exhausted," I reminded them.
"It's only eight o'clock," Chris argued.
"Yeah, well, that's what the music industry will do to you," I joked.
I fished around in my pockets as we approached my door until I found my key card, sliding into the slot in the door and waiting for the click. I cracked the door open just a hair to make sure it didn't lock again and turned around to face my family.
"Please don't embarrass me," I pleaded. "I don't really know these girls yet and I haven't had a chance to impress them. The last thing I need is you telling them embarrassing stories."
"Don't worry Lauren," Chris said, patting me on the shoulder and pushing past me into the room, "you're not impressive anyway."
"Great, that's reassuring," I sighed. I looked expectantly at my parents and younger sister. "Guys? You promise?"
"We'll try our best," my dad said, "but we can't make any promises."
"Of course you can't," I mumbled under my breath as they all slid past me and into the room.
I entered after them and stopped in the living room, facing Dinah and Normani who were on the couch and Ally who was in the kitchen.
"Girls, this is my family," I announced to no one in particular.
They all snapped out of their current distractions and went to greet my family, Dinah and Normani with handshakes and Ally with hugs.
"How old are you?" Chris asked Ally as he pulled out of her embrace.
"Nineteen," she said with a flip of her hair.
"Are you serious? You're so short!" he exclaimed.
"Chris!" I snapped.
"Don't worry, I get that a lot," Ally assured us, dismissing the comment with a wave of her hand.
Chris made his way to Dinah and Normani who were once again sitting on the couch and wedged himself in between them, throwing both his arms over their shoulders.
"And, uh, how old are you two?" he said flirtatiously.
"Nice try, hotshot. We're all too old for you," Normani laughed.
Dinah joined in her laughter and cleared her throat. "Bah Felicia!" she chirped, waving her hand in front of Chris's face.
Chris got up from his position between them and slumped into one of the kitchen chairs, clearly defeated.
"Where's Camila?" I asked, finally realizing that 1/5th of the group was missing.
"Hmm...that's a good question," Dinah answered, sitting up slightly and craning her neck to see into the bedroom across from her.
"Did anyone see her leave? Did she say where she was going?" I asked frantically, more concerned about her missing the opportunity to properly meet my family than anything.
"I didn't even know she was gone," Normani admitted, and Ally shook her head in agreement.
"I'll go look for her," Dinah offered, slowly getting up from the couch.
I held a hand out to stop her. "No, I'll go. My family will keep you entertained. I need a break from my siblings."
"You get a break when we leave to go back to Miami and you get to stay here in LA," Chris reminded me.
"Yeah, but I need a break now," I insisted, and I walked out the door before anyone could try to stop me.
I made my way directly to the elevator, assuming if Camila were on the same floor she would be back in my room by the time I returned from my manhunt. I pressed the button and stepped in when I heard the familiar ding, riding all the way down to the main level and stepping off. I walked along the hallway of rooms, stopping only briefly to pick up a five dollar bill that was laying on the ground, but putting it back when I decided that the owner was probably looking for it.
I stepped into the cool, air conditioned lobby and looked around in search of Camila. The lights were dim and the space was empty, causing the room to have a calming atmosphere and an eery silence. I almost gave up and assumed that Camila was already back in my room, but then I heard what sounded like a thick stack of papers falling to the floor in the vending room. I walked knowingly towards the sound and stopped in the doorway to find a flustered Camila bending over to pick up a fallen book, dropping it again before she could get it back on the shelf.
"Having trouble?" I smirked.
She spun around, her hand pressed against her heart and her brown eyes bright with fear.
"You scared the crap out of me," she exclaimed, her usually low and raspy voice becoming high pitched from the sudden fright.
"My deepest apologies," I teased, pretending to bow in front of her.
She turned back to the book and picked it up, this time successfully placing it back on the shelf and ignoring my attempt at an apology.
"What are you doing down here?" I asked, trying to break the silence that was growing between us.
"I came down to get a snack but I saw that they had free books and I guess...I got a little distracted," she laughed, flashing her crooked smile.
"Find anything worth reading?" I pressed, abandoning my position against the door frame and walking over to the shelf, stopping next to Camila to admire the collection of books.
"Actually, they're all worth reading, that's the problem. I can't decide which one I want. Look at this," she insisted, picking up a book from the shelf and handing it to me. "To Kill a Mockingbird, The Outsiders, they even have The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I can't believe anyone would just leave these behind."
"Is that was this is?" I asked, making a sweeping motion over the enormous shelf full of books. "Books that people have left here?"
She nodded her head yes, picking up the stack that she had informed me of earlier, obviously unable to decide on just one.
"I've left a lot of things in hotel rooms: clothes, laptops, even my Mom's car keys, but not once have I ever left a book behind," she told me.
I studied her face as she stared off into the distance, recalling some ancient memory, and marveled at the way she spoke. She was the walking definition of cute- big brown eyes, a button nose, and rosy cheeks, all of which made her look like a child though she was still fifteen. But when she spoke, although most of the time I expected her to say something cutesy or funny- and most of the time she did- when she spoke of her passions she did it with such eloquence that it sent chills throughout my entire body. She told her stories like they were her biggest secrets, but she spoke freely, and I could feel the passion in her words as they rolled off her tongue and out of her full, pink lips.
"I don't know, I guess I'm kind of a nerd," she said after a while, her gaze still somewhere in the distance.
"You're not a nerd just because you like reading. I love reading and I'm not a nerd. I've got straight A's and an academic scholarship to prove it," I joked, winking now that her attention was back on me.
A small chuckle escaped her lips and she turned her head a little to look at the vending machine. "I mean, I guess I'm not a total nerd. I like other things too...like eating and the internet."
"Well then maybe you should get some snacks to go along with your books and internet," I suggested, nodding towards the machine.
"Wow, it's like you read my mind," she said sarcastically, a goofy grin spreading across her face. "Can you hold these for a second?"
I held out my arms and accepted the stack of books while she scanned the machine in front of her. My eyes traced up and down her tiny figure, her back facing me, and I envied her for the way her long, dark hair cascaded down her back and framed her curves effortlessly.
She has a nice butt, I thought to myself. I wish I had her butt.
"I don't know what to get," she huffed, snapping me from my daze and causing my cheeks to glow red as if she could hear my thoughts.
"Well, what do you like?" I asked, distracting myself more than responding to her.
"Everything," she answered. "I'll just get chocolate. You can never go wrong with chocolate."
"Really? I don't like chocolate. I've never...is everything okay?" I asked, noticing the concerned look on her face as she dug through her pockets.
"I think I forgot my money," she told me.
"Oh, here, I'll spot you. No big deal."
"No, you don't have to do that," she argued.
"Come on, it's like a dollar. I don't mind," I promised her.
I fished around in my right pocket, furrowing my brow when I came up empty handed. I felt the weight of the money in my left pocket and attempted to reach it with my right hand, and once again failing. I attempted to transfer the stack of books in my left arm to my right, dropping them all on the floor in the process.
"Shit," I cursed as I hurriedly bent down to pick them up, followed by Camila who was doing the same.
We picked up the books until there was one left, both of our hands reaching for it at the same time and brushing against each other. The contact startled both of us and we looked up at one another, our eyes just mere centimeters apart. As much as I probably should have, I couldn't bring myself to look away from her eyes. The contact only lasted a few seconds, but within those seconds I discovered that her eyes weren't brown- they were dark copper like the color of brand new earth, solid and without any interruptions from other shades. Just deep, and dark, and shining with happiness.
"Sorry," I mumbled, my throat suddenly dry as I inhaled the scent of her breath as it tickled my skin, smelling of spearmint and roses.
I attempted to stand but she put her free hand on my shoulder to stop me, her other hand still lightly resting on top of mine.
"You have like...really pretty eyes," she informed me. "Sorry if that sounds weird, I've just...I've never seen eyes that color. They're so green."
My heart fluttered in my chest upon realizing that we were thinking nearly the exact same thing about each other.
"I think I can say the same for you," I nearly whispered.
She cleared her throat and stood, running a hand through her hair and holding the other one out to help me up. I pulled the money out of my pocket and handed it to her, and she punched in the code and retrieved her snack without a word. She held her arm out to carry the books which were now safely tucked under my arm.
"Oh no, I can carry them," I offered.
She gave me a warm smile and headed out the door, myself following close behind her. We fell into stride next to each other and walked that way for several hundred feet until she stopped abruptly and bent over to pick something up.
"Hey, there's my money!" she cheered as she stuffed the same five dollar bill I had passed earlier into her pocket.
She skipped to the elevator and pressed the button, entwining her fingers in front of her and rocking back and forth on her heels as she waited for the doors to open. I walked over to her and stepped into the elevator just as the doors slid apart. We rode up in silence, Camila lost in her own thoughts and myself, for some reason, thanking God that I hadn't picked up that five dollar bill.
...
"Okay, no, Harry Potter is so much better than Twilight," Camila argued with Dinah.
We were all back in my hotel room, my family sticking around for as long as possible and listening to the ridiculous debate that was going on around us. I sat on the couch, my legs tucked under me so that Camila could sit on the floor in front of me and argue clearly with Dinah who was leaning against the wall, her legs stretched out in front of her.
"Jacob is so sexy though," Dinah retorted, putting extra emphasis on the word "sexy."
"But we're not talking about the movies," Camila shouted, leaning forward onto her hands. "We're talking about the books, and Harry Potter clearly takes the cake. Besides, Harry's a wizard. Wizards are so much sexier than werewolves."
"What do you guys think?" Dinah asked, looking around the room at all of us.
"I think that I don't care," Chris whined, rolling his eyes, followed by a shrug from Taylor.
"I don't know, I think I'm team Jacob also," Normani said shyly, sinking further into the couch next to me.
"I'm team Edward, but I still pick Twilight," Ally added.
Camila twisted around so that she was sitting criss cross, facing me. "Lauren? What do you say?"
I looked around the room at the other girls and then back at Camila. "I'm sorry...but I have to say Twilight. I have a thing for vampires," I answered finally.
Camila crossed her arms over her chest and stuck out her bottom lip while the other girls exchanged high fives.
"You guys are mean," she whined. "I can't believe I'm stuck with you for the rest of the show."
"If we even make it that far," Normani mumbled.
"Well, we won't with that attitude, that's for sure," Camila said, poking her tongue out at Normani who smiled at the gesture.
"As interesting as this evening has been," my dad started, getting up off the couch and stretching his arms out behind him. "The Jauregui family has a flight to catch...minus one, of course."
"Please tell me we're leaving Chris behind," Taylor joked, trying to make light of the situation.
"Please tell me you're not," I countered.
"Nope, unfortunately we're not," my dad answered. "We're leaving Lauren behind so she can win The X Factor and change the world."
"Wow dad, that's a lot of pressure," I said sarcastically, pretending to wipe the sweat from my forehead.
"I have no doubts that you can do it," he encouraged, pulling me into a hug.
"We," I whispered to him. "We can do it. I'm in a group now, remember?"
"I have no doubt that you can all do it," he corrected himself once he had pulled away.
Chris and Taylor were the next to hug me, at the same time as usual.
"Kick ass or I'll kick yours," Chris threatened.
"Why don't you kiss it instead," I said, shoving his arm playfully.
"We'll see you in a few weeks for the live shows," my mom reminded me, wrapping her arms around my waist and squeezing me tightly. "Don't get into any trouble. Don't do drugs. Don't get pregnant...just don't do anything you wouldn't want us finding out about."
"You don't have to worry about any of that," I reassured her.
She smiled warmly and then followed the rest of my family to the door, a somber aura surrounding them all now that the realization that they were leaving had set in.
"I love you guys," I smiled.
"We love you too," they all said in unison, and then the door was shutting behind them.
I settled back onto the couch, sad that my family was leaving but knowing in my heart that I would see them soon and for good reasons.
"Your family's nice," Ally told me.
"Yeah, they're pretty great," I agreed.
Dinah appeared back in the living room with a bag of potato chips in hand and took her place against the wall.
"So should we talk about the fact that if we win this thing we're pretty much destined to be together until the end of our music careers?" she said bluntly.
"I think we should let it play out," Camila suggested. "We barely know each other yet. We have a week until the judges' house and that's all the time we have to get to know each other and each other's voices until we have to give the performance that decides whether we stay or not. We should use the next few days to our advantage and not think about it too much. We'll just stress ourselves out."
"Yeah, I agree with Camila," Normani stated. "I think before we can do anything we have to know each other."
"We should play truth or dare...just without the dare," I chimed in. "Just get to know each other a little."
"Oh, yes! I love truth or dare!" Camila said excitedly, clapping her hands together.
"Without the dare," Ally reiterated.
"Great, Lauren, you go first," Dinah insisted.
"Hmm, okay," I said, scanning the four girls to decide who would be my first victim. "Normani...do you have a boyfriend?"
"No," she answered sadly, one side of her mouth curling into a frown and then a smile. "But there is this one guy in the competition...his name is Arin."
"You mean the one you battled in bootcamp?" Ally asked, clearly as shocked as the rest of us.
"Yeah, that's the one. He's cute...and sweet," Normani shrugged. "Okay, my turn. Dinah, do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"Boy do I," Dinah chuckled. "I live with twenty-three people. They're all like brothers and sisters to me."
"Twenty-three?" Camila repeated, her mouth hanging wide open.
Dinah nodded. "I like it though. We're all really close. I just...I auditioned for The X Factor to try and make something of myself so that one day, maybe I'll be able to provide for them the way they've all provided for me."
The room grew silent, no one quite sure how to respond to Dinah's sudden willingness to open up to us all.
"But anyway, yeah. That's that. My turn I guess. Lauren, what made you decide to audition?" Dinah continued.
I thought about the question. The truth is, I hadn't really considered it much up until that point. It had been kind of a spur of the moment thing. I had seen that The X Factor was going to Miami and decided to audition right then and there, no excuses. I didn't really know what to say, so I just said the first thing that came to mind.
"Honestly, I don't know," I told them all. "I've always been into singing and I've always done choir and all that, it's just that no one ever took it as seriously as I did." I paused to make sure they were still listening.
"You know when you're really into something that a lot of people are into and you want to just scream at the top of your lungs that you love it more than anyone else? That's how I felt," I explained. "Choir wasn't doing anything for me and the crappy singing competitions around town weren't doing any good either. So I saw that The X Factor was coming to Miami and I jumped at the chance. I missed my first softball game that all the college scouts would be at and I gave up my perfect attendance record to be there, and I'm glad I did."
"Yeah, and you made four new friends in the process!" Camila chirped.
"That's the best part, actually," I told them honestly. "But anyway, enough about me. Ally, what do you like to do when you aren't singing?"
"Sing some more," she laughed. "I'm always singing. Of course I do normal teenager things and hang out with my friends, but music is where my heart is."
"Amen!" Dinah shouted.
"Amen!" Everyone else repeated.
"So Camila..." Ally said deviously. "If you don't mind me asking- not that you have a choice- when was your first kiss?"
"I pick dare," Camila answered quickly.
"There is no dare," Normani reminded her.
"Well, there is now, and I pick it," Camila argued.
"Fine, I dare you to tell me about your first kiss," Ally sassed.
Camila slumped against the couch and let out a long sigh. "You're going to judge me..."
"Nobody's here to judge. We're all friends here," I told her.
She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and smiled in gratitude, sitting up straighter and preparing to speak.
"Why won't you tell us? Is it that juicy?" Ally pressed.
"Well...not quite," Camila said sheepishly. "I haven't...had my first kiss yet," she admitted.
"Really?" all three of the other girls said in unison.
Camila nodded her head yes.
"But you're so pretty," Normani argued. "You can't tell me that there hasn't been a guy that's wanted to kiss you."
"There hasn't. I'm awkward and quirky, guys don't exactly like me. They want someone fun and confident, not clumsy and nerdy like me," Camila attempted to explain, her lack of self confidence seeping through the cracks in her voice. "It's embarrassing. I'm already fifteen. All of my friends had their first kisses when they were like twelve or thirteen."
"It's not a bad thing, Camz," I promised her. "It just means that you're not settling for just any guy. That's good."
"Camz?" she said, a smile slowly creeping onto her lips.
"What?" I asked, not realizing what I'd just said.
"You called me Camz," she observed.
"Oh, I guess I did," I said, finally realizing what had come out of my mouth. "Sorry."
"Don't apologize. It has a nice ring to it." She smiled at me and I knew she meant it. She didn't think it was awkward or anything of the sort, and the way the nickname rolled off my tongue with ease made me feel comfortable around her. Closer.
"We should all come up with nicknames for each other," Ally suggested.
"Camila should come up with them. She's creative like that," I told them.
They all looked at her, waiting for her input.
"Wow, way to put me on the spot Lauren," she laughed. "Okay, umm, Ally can be Ally-Cat because it sounds sassy just like her. I'm going to call Dinah, Dinah Jane, just because I like the way it sounds. Normani can be Mani Bear, and...hmm...Lauren can be Lo."
"Why Lo?" I asked her curiously.
"I just think it's only fair that I shorten your name since you shortened mine," she said with a smirk that I had never seen her wear before.
"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'd really like to get as much sleep as possible before we leave for the judges' house in two days, so I'm going to call it a night," Dinah said, stretching as she stood from her position against the wall.
"Yeah, me too," Normani added, and Ally followed, signaling that she was ready to head in for the night as well.
"I'm not tired yet," Camila argued.
"I'm not either," I agreed.
"Then you two can stay up all night and party, just don't disturb us," Dinah warned.
Camila sighed and stood from the couch, fixing the pillow that she was leaning against and sitting it against the cushions. She started to walk toward the group but I reached out and grabbed her wrist, causing her to stop and turn to face me.
"You can stay if you're not tired. I'm sure we can find a movie or something and you still have plenty of chocolate left over," I told her.
She narrowed her eyes and shifted so that she was facing the TV. "Do you think they have Harry Potter?"
"I think we have a very good chance of finding it," I said.
With that she jumped over the arm of the couch and landed on the cushion beside me, throwing her feet up and laying her legs over my own so that they were supported by my lap.
"In that case I'm staying," she shouted to the other girls.
"Suit yourself, just don't say I didn't tell you so when you collapse from exhaustion," Dinah dismissed as she and the others made their way to their own rooms.
I flipped through channels while Camila watched the TV intently, keeping her eyes out for Harry Potter.
"Can I see the remote for a second?" she asked, her hand outstretched as if she already had her answer.
I handed the device to her and she continued flipping through the channels. I crossed my hands in my lap, careful not to disturb her legs which were laid comfortably over my lap. I fidgeted with my fingers, my hands now unoccupied, and felt the weight of Camila's toned legs on top of me, the skin underneath them on fire like the skin on my hands when she entwined our fingers on stage. What was wrong with me? We were in a group now, it's not like she was competition anymore. Why did I still feel so antsy around her?
"AHA, I found it!" she shouted, startling me a little.
"Harry Potter?" I asked.
She nodded slowly, her attention already fixed on the TV. She watched intently, mouthing the lines she knew as they appeared in the movie and never breaking her concentration until a commercial came on.
"Do you think this is meant to be?" she asked, staring at her hands which rested on top of her abdomen.
"What do you mean?"
"The group, I mean. We didn't intend to be in a group, so do you think it's something that will last or is it just God saving us from heartache for the time being?" she thought aloud.
"I think we were called back to stage for a reason," I told her.
"No, I know. We'll be a group as long as we're on the show, that's already established. It's just...what Dinah said earlier, it got me thinking. She said 'If we win this thing we can pretty much count on being together for the rest of our music careers. If we win.' What if we don't win? Do you think we'd stick together and try to get a deal on our own?" she continued.
I studied her face again, this time with her acknowledgement, and wondered why she was thinking about the concept when we had barely known each other for twenty-four hours.
"I think it would be kind of hard to stick together with all of us living in different parts of the country," I pointed out.
"Yeah, that's why I asked if you think it's meant to be."
"I don't know," I answered honestly. "Sometimes you can't tell when something is meant to be, it just...is."
Camila bit down on her bottom lip thoughtfully and furrowed her brow.
"Why are you thinking about this now?" I asked her. "It's a little early in the competition to be worrying about that, don't you agree?"
"It's not early in the competition," she argued. "We could be gone next week. If that's the case, this is late in the competition for us."
"Would you want to stick together as a group?" I pressed, finally understanding where she was coming from.
"Is that stupid? I mean, I know we've all only known each other for what, like, 12 hours? But I've never really..." she trailed off.
"Never really what?" I prompted.
She looked back at her hands and twiddled her thumbs. "I've never really had...friends. I mean, I have, it's just..."
"Camz, you can talk to me. Whether we get eliminated next week or not, you and I are going to be friends for a long time. You're going to have to open up to me eventually. You might as well do it now," I encouraged her.
"I just...high school has been hell for me, okay? You come in and talk about your straight A's and sports and perfect attendance and all I can think about is how much I don't want to go back." She swallowed, most likely attempting to fight back tears, and then continued.
"I have friends, don't get me wrong, but not one of them has attempted to contact me and say, 'Hey, heard you didn't get eliminated after all and your dreams are finally coming true, talk to you later!' and it pisses me off," she ranted. "And then there are the people who aren't my friends at all. They make fun of me for my teeth or my skin or because I can't afford the nicest clothes and I don't want to go back, Lo."
"What's wrong with your teeth?" I asked her, completely ignoring everything else she had said.
"Oh, give me a break. You know they're crooked as hell. I've seen you looking at them-"
"Because I like them," I interrupted quickly. "I look at them because the only time I can really see them is when you smile, and you have the happiest smile I've ever seen. I like your teeth."
"Why? They're so crooked," she argued.
"They work for you. I don't know why I like them, okay? I just do. I can't explain it because I don't even know why, so just take my word for it...please," I begged.
"Fine, so one person likes my teeth, big whoop," she scoffed.
"Camz, I don't know if you realize where we are. We're on The X Factor. We're going to make it in this competition, okay? We're going to get to the live shows, and every single show we do, the more fans we'll accumulate. Before you know it, you're going to have millions of people that you've never even met that fall in love with every little thing about you, including your teeth. Forget about those assholes at school. You don't need them," I told her. "And until then, you have me and the other girls."
"That's the point. You guys are the closest thing I've ever had to real friends, and we've only known each other for half a day. I don't want to lose that. I'm afraid that if we get eliminated, at least early in the competition-"
"We won't," I interrupted. "Have some faith."
"But if we do," she continued, "I'm afraid that'll be it for us as a group. I'm afraid we'll all lose touch. I don't want to lose touch."
"Then we need to work our asses off every single day to make sure that we win this thing, don't we?" I smiled, and she returned the favor.
"Deal," she said, and then the conversation was over and her attention was back on the movie.
We sat like that for a while, her legs across my lap, the room silent except for the TV and dark except for the flashing of the screen and the lights in her eyes, until I realized that she had drifted off to sleep, her faint snores filling the air as the closing credits began to roll. I watched her as she slept, her long eyelashes casting shadows on her full cheeks, her chest rising and falling with each breath she took, and I especially noticed the tiny smile on her lips and the way both corners of her mouth curled up into the shape of a bow, her bottom lip poking out more than the top. She looked so peaceful, all her worries about what people thought of her or what would happen to the group washed away as her dreams flooded her mind. I couldn't bear to wake her, so I slowly lifted her legs off of my lap and laid them on the couch, covering her up with a blanket and eventually finding my way to the bed, hoping that she would still be there when I woke.