Chapter Fifty-nine: The Future
I stare wide eyed at him with words caught in my throat. With that, they feel like they are burning against the walls down my throat, but I try not to pay any attention towards it. Instead, I glance down to the beautiful ring and see it shimmer in the sunlight seeping through the windows.
“I . . . uh . . .” I say, trying to make up my mind. I do love him, very much, but is it really necessary? He came all this way just to propose to me? He bought me a beautiful ring just for me? And I thought we were taking a break, basically a forever break where no one is dating each other until the end of time. That is why I moved, that is why I’m here in California and not in New York, because he and I are over, right?
But as I gaze into his gorgeous blue eyes that has made me sunk to my knees in awe since the day we met, I can’t help but feel amazed at him. He’s amazing and he’s always been amazing. He’s been kind to me, gentle; he’s loved me forever or at least that’s what I know, but he’s also sweet and welcoming, and he gave me a home.
How can I not say anything? He’s the man I love and I’m just stuttering my ass off with no solid answer. Why am I doing this? Finally, I close my eyes and wait a second. He’s probably thinking that I’m going to refuse to marry him because of all we have been through.
I take a deep breath and say, “Yes.”
I’m able to hear my parents squeal at the sight of Errik and I engaged.
He stands on his feet and puts the ring on my finger. The last time I had a ring on was the one that was Kenton’s, and it feels weird wearing another man’s engagement ring, but with the sight of it, I shake it off with a smile. Errik kisses me and afterwards, he says, “I do have a surprise for ya that’s waiting outside.”
Nodding, I quickly put on sandals by the door as we walk outside. In the long U-shaped driveway is a limousine and poking out at the top of the sunroof is Jessie, Periwinkle, and Freddy. I grin and say, “What’s this?” My mind is dizzy from all the excitement and mysteries that hold within whatever Errik has planned.
“I don’t feel like waiting, to be honest. So in the next few hours, yer gonna get ready for yer wedding. I have everything set—the priest, band, reception, people, the whole nine yards.”
“How did you get a priest and everything in the last few weeks that I’ve been here?” I ask. I feel confused that a lot has happened.
“You used to go to church in New York, right?” he begins.
I nod.
“Well, I called down yer old priest and he agreed to do it. I have a few friends that have a band, and they agreed as well. I talked with yer mother and how we can use her place for the reception and I just invited at least everyone we possibly know, and Lauren has called all the relatives ya know and love as did I.”
I kiss him again and say, “Thank you so much!” I’m thrilled to have this happen.
We get inside the limo with my parents and we all head to the church my mother goes to, that I used to go to when I lived here. Periwinkle and Jessie leads me to a room that has my wedding dress. It’s the dress I was going to wear for the wedding I was going to have with Kenton, and I thought I gave it away but I suppose one of the girls kept it all this time—especially Jessie since she fell in love with the dress at first sight, basically.
“Your parents are getting ready but in different rooms, where Periwinkle and I get ready as well,” Jessie explains. “This is your room, you need to get ready now, but you can take your time.”
They quickly give me kisses on my cheeks and walk out the door, leaving me alone. By the time I get the dress and my makeup on, I look in the full bodied mirror to see the beautiful white gown. The bottom part poofs out a little bit and my waistline is a hardcover top, as the middle of my waist has a bow tied around the midpoint of my back and streams down to the bottom of the dress.
It feels weird to be getting married, especially with so much happening in the year. But my nightmare turned into fate and even though so much drama and conflict has happened, Errik is my future. I’m sure of it, at least. He’s my best friend and I don’t know what I’ll do without him. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
Periwinkle pops her head in the door and says, “You ready?” It’s been a good hour since I arrived, and I can already hear people shuffling around the room.
“Yes,” I say as I keep my focus on the mirror.
“Oh, look at you,” says Periwinkle as she steps through.
“Look at what? I want to know!” Jessie comes inside with the door shutting behind her. “Oh my God, Raven.”
“What is it? Do I have food stuck in my teeth?” I joke, covering my mouth but the way I say it seems more serious.
They both chuckle.
“No, silly . . . it’s just that . . . you look so beautiful,” Periwinkle glances all around me.
“Seriously,” comments Jessie as she does the same. “I can’t believe you’re getting married!” She begins to cry but tries to stop the tears from falling as she lifts up her head and wipes her tears carefully, trying not to smear her mascara.
“I know; it seems like just yesterday we were all kids and just innocent little creatures, you know?” Periwinkle adds.
“You make us sound like animals,” I reply, laughing as they both chime in. “But anyways, it’s just . . . it’s weird. A good weird, I mean, ha!”
“Well we better get back so the ceremony can go on,” says Jessie as she yanks Peri to come with her.
Right as they leave, Freddy and Lipchits comes inside the room and I smile at both of them.
“You look magnificent,” Freddy compliments.
Lipchits taps Freddy on the shoulder. “You’re correct; she does look very stunning.”
“Thank you.” I smile warmly at the comments. “So may I help either of you?” I ask, looking at both of them, wondering why they are both here.
It takes a moment, but Lipchits begins to speak. “I’ve had three other daughters and I walked each of them down the aisle. Even though I would love to take you, I think it’s best if Freddy here did.”
“I wanted to do it, Ray—I feel obligated to be the person to walk you down, especially with all the events that have happened with us, I think it’ll be good if I could finally give you away and allow you to be happy.”
Smiling, I say, “Sure.” I nod. “That’ll be wonderful, Fredster.” It seems nice to use his nickname since he’s been gone for a while.
The men grin and nod their heads as well and Lipchits leaves the room, leaving Freddy with me.
“I’m happy for you, I truly am,” he says. “I know I’ve been a jerk and a bunch of other stuff, but you know me. I’m only trying to protect you. I want what is best for you, Ray. I love you. You, out of all people, should know that—I want you to be happy and in the beginning, sure, I had a huge grudge for this guy, but I knew the truth. I didn’t want to hurt you and I know it did, but I just . . . I don’t know.”
“Freddy,” I say, giggling at how he’s going on and on about the past. “I got it—I have forgiven you.”
I give him a hug and a few seconds later, the door opens and Lipchits says it’s time.
Nodding my head once, we both walk out and I see the girls making their way down the aisle in their red and sparkly dresses. They get down to the alter and it’s time for Freddy and I to walk down together. He holds my arm in his and we take slow steps towards us. My eyes gaze down to the ground at first, but once we begin pacing our way up there, my eyes meet Errik’s and I smile.
Everyone around us isn’t here. It’s only me and him and we’re alone. The only sound that I am able to grasp is nothing, nothing but the words he has said to me before over and over again: I love you.
This feels right like this is all supposed to happen to me.
I reminisce back when we first met. The harsh fall onto the pavement, the eyes I have looked into many times before but it was the first time I looked into his. The beautiful smell of his cologne and the hilarious joke he made about being James Bond; how he referred himself to “Shaulls. Errik Shaulls;” and the amazing birthday present he gave me when I turned twenty five. We made many jokes that made us laugh and many things happened that made us cry.
I can remember how I taught him how to ride a surf board and he taught me how to cook. When we went to Ireland to see his parents and his homeland, and how we went to the carnival there and rode the rides and having burping contests. The moments I have with him are the moments spent hoping we could be together even longer and how we’re both able to act the way we should, and to be who we truly are. I remember when I accidently farted when we were swimming during this summer, and then he farted too just so I didn’t feel so bad and embarrassed about it.
Those times were good and are always nice to remember.
By the time we reach the alter, Freddy goes on Errik’s side as being the best man, and I’m in front of the love of my life. The priest begins, but I don’t pay much attention to his words, not until the most important things happen like reciting what he says. By then, Errik is beginning his wedding vows.
“I vow to love you in health and in sickness; I vow to love you for rich or for poor. I vow to be honest with you and to be the best damn husband I can be. And most of all, I vow to always love ya no matter what and say yer beautiful every day.”
And then after his speech is done, it’s my turn.
I don’t have a card or anything specific to say. My basic wedding vow would be all he said, but I can’t recite the same vow he made. So I begin with my own. “From the moment I saw you, I knew something was up. It couldn’t have been your amazing hair or gorgeous blue eyes, but something about you just made me keep thinking about you. When we first kissed, I thought I found the love of my life, no matter how horrible I felt because of my demised fiancé. But you, you helped me get back on my feet and helped me to recover from my sadness. I never knew how pure and special the care you gave me was enough to make me love you, but it happened. I stand here; right here and now, to tell you how much I love you. To say that I vow to always love you no matter what happens between us—if you’re sick, if you’re in need of help, if we’re angry at each other—anything at all, I will always love you and be there for you. I vow to be the best damn wife I can be.”
I can feel tears pushing to get out of my eyes, but I try to let them sit on the edges of the sockets without cascading down my cheeks.
Errik wipes them off for me.
By the time all is said and done, the priest then says, “Errik Shaulls, do you take Raven Whestly to be your lawful wedded wife?”
“I do,” he says with no hesitation, and I can tell he really means it by the shimmering look in his eyes.
“Raven Whestly, do you take Errik Shaulls to be your lawful wedded husband?”
“I do,” I say, nodding.
“I then pronounce you husband and wife; you may now kiss the bride!”
Our lips meet and it takes me back to the very first moment back on the beach with the bonfire that keeps light on us. It was the first kiss we ever had and this takes me to it, to the amazing past.
After the wedding, I find myself in a chair with my friends and family, and Errik right next to me.
Errik suddenly taps his wine glass with a fork, slightly. All attention is on him as he stands. “I don’t really wanna say a whole lot, but I do feel like singing.” He glances to the band for which plays a soft melody, but he is handed a guitar and a microphone with its stand. He says, “This was the song that was playing when Raven and I first kissed, so this goes out to a very special woman in my life.”
He begins singing to Somewhere Over the Rainbow but with more of a smoother rhythm and beat. Within the song, he crosses over to Wonderful World, and I’m Yours.
When he ends, I go over to him and hug and kiss him, happy that he sang me a song that has beautiful meaning to it that means a lot to me.
As I think through all I have been through, within the pain, sorrows, dwelling upon the past, guilt, etcetera, I do know that Kenton was my true love, throughout all of this. But maybe, just maybe, it’s fate? My life used to be a nightmare and it has changed completely. Sure, my life will go up and down, but that’s reality. Somehow, someway, it’ll change for the best. It takes time and patience, and I know that now. But maybe Kenton was my guardian angel after all these years, all those moments of suffering. Maybe that is why he committed a form of suicide? Maybe that is why he made Errik get to know me? Maybe he thought we, both Kenton and I, weren’t meant to be together? Maybe it was supposed to be like this?
A tragic thought, yes, but with Errik being my future, I think it’s best if I can just conclude my old life. No more being drowned in tears of sorrow, no more dwelling on whatever is in the past. I need to live right now, right here in the present; and focus on my future.
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