Warning!: Swearing, angry lusus and cheating exes!
Ex/n= Ex's name
f/m/g= favorite movie genre
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Kankri was very unhappy. Not at you (for once), per say- well, he was a bit for you breaking curfew and disobeying him, but right now his wrath was focused on another target: a certain (ex/n). Ohhh, he was going to beat the holy self-esteem out of that child.
Unfortunately, his morail, Cronus Ampora, knew what he was going to do so he followed the angered mutant all the way to a certain ex's house.
"Chief, I get that you're a bit testy-"
"Testy? Who, precisely, are you insinuating is testy? I am absolutely engulfed in righteous rage," Kankri stated bluntly, looking completely calm and collected, his stride not breaking once, as sharp and precise as his concentration.
"Yeah, okay, wvhatever. The point is, do you really wvant to givwe up your vwow of pacifism just to give this (guy/girl) a thrashin'? Not that they don't deserve it- but is this jackass wvorth it?"
"(he/she) is not, but (y/n) is." Kankri says in a clipped, firm voice that stated there was no room for debate.
He glanced at the royal-blood from the corner of his narrowed carnelian eyes. "And if you say you do not want to kill (ex/n) at this moment then you will be lying to my face," he states truthfully and stops on the pathway to a certain cheater's home.
"If you intend on stopping me, save your breath. I have made my mind up and I am not changing it," Kankri started his way up to the door.
"Look, chief, I get it. You're pissed, and ya have evwery right to be: but don't'cha think that (y/n) wvill be mad that you're takin' things into your own claws?" Cronus tried to reason, whispering frantically as they were both standing in front of the door. He immediately sealed his mouth shut while also containing the chattering of his teeth when Kankri gave him one of the most terrifying looks he'd received in all his years of life and afterwards. Even the Condesce wasn't anywhere near this intimidating, holy shell.
About that time the door opened, revealing the person whom Kankri had heard so much about but never met in person, only seen pictures. His progeny didn't want to introduce them because they thought (rightfully so) that he would scare (ex/n) away. This worked to his advantage, however, as Kankri knew that (he/she) didn't know what he looked or sounded like.
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When (ex/n) opened the door, (he/she) saw one of the most attractive trolls they ever laid eyes on; black hair with an occasional streak of candy-red, sharp ruby eyes, smooth light gray skin, and a slender figure hidden under a large red sweater and... tights? He was a bit older, but hey! You have to appreciate those with a bit more sophistication in their step!
Since (he/she) broke up with (y/n) (it was the other way around but details didn't matter), why not use the ol' sympathy routine to get another?
"Hi, beautiful, what brings you here?" (he/she) inquired smoothly and pushed back a strand of hair from their face, and looked the short troll up and down.
Cronus, however, watched from the sidelines and noticed how his morail arched a brow and pursed his lips to stop himself from ranting already, choosing instead to try and see your ex's angle. The mutant was doing a damn good job holding himself back and dealing with terrible come-on's up until the idiot tried to make themselves the victim in this situation.
"You know, my (bf/gf) broke up with me for no good reason and is acting like a real bitch to me. Maybe me and you can go get some coffee so I can bare my soul-" the cheeky brat was cut off when Kankri held up a single finger, red eyes narrowed and lips pursing into a sneer.
"Firstly; the proper grammar for that sentence would be 'you and I'," the candyblood began, his voice remaining smooth and calm, despite the twitching eyebrow. "Secondly; the reason why (y/n) broke up with you was because you were being a defrauding little whore," his voice began gradually raising with each word, his lip curling to display white fang-like teeth. "And thirdly; MY CHILD IS NOT A BITCH! HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PROGENY WHEN YOU HAD THE GALL- NAY, THE UTMOST POMPOSITY TO SPEAK POORLY OF (Y/N) WHEN A SCOBBERLOTCHER LIKE YOURSELF CAN NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING MORE THAT WHAT YOU ARE!"
"Wait-" (ex/n) slowly tried backing away with their hands up, this tactic not working thanks to the short but vicious troll following close behind.
"Do NOT interrupt me you zounderkite! A bedswerver like yourself hasn't the privilege of defending against facts! I always knew (he/she) could do so much better than you from the very beginning- I didn't even need to meet you to know you'd make a complete jackass of yourself! My child wasted time being with an ungrateful jestee like yourself and what did you give them in return?!"
"I-I don't-"
"That was a rhetorical question you boorish churl, shut your mouth!" more out of shock than a will to obey, the roasted cheater snapped his lips shut.
Cronus, in the meantime, was filming the whole exchange with his phone and wishing he had popcorn at the moment, making no effort to assist the (boy/girl), despite trying to get his morail to abdicate his mission in the beginning. 'This shit's goin' on Youtube.'
"I cannot believe anyone would have the sheer audacity to cheat on my child- my (y/n) of all the people in the world! It would be just my luck that my tenderhearted but sassy progeny would get attached to a derelict like yourself and think they don't deserve better- YOU MADE MY BABY CRY AND I PROMISE YOU FOR THAT I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!"
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You were concerned, to put it lightly: your lusus spent the entire night calming you down, watching movies with you, making you comfort food and just doing anything he possibly could to soothe you in your moment of distress and distracting you with stories of his day. So, when you woke up to see breakfast made on the table with no lusus, only a note telling you that he'd be back after visiting Cronus for some reason (which you would later learn was to hear his side of what happened) you were a bit concerned.
But, unfortunately, there wasn't much you could do about it now, and your breakfast was still warm under the clear, plastic wrap cover if the steam was anything to go by. (pancakes/waffles) with a side of bacon, eggs and toast with (f/j) jam and a glass of (f/d) sat idly at your table seat, a fork and knife sitting delicately on top of a napkin and some (f/yogurt) sitting by your drink, the spoon resting on the lid.
"Thanks, dad," you muttered with a small smile and made a mental note to thank him again when he came home from his morail visit. He used to do this for you when you'd have a bad day or couldn't sleep from nightmares; spend time with you to calm you down, then make you food. The only thing missing from the nostalgic scene was the very lusus who crafted it in the first place. You could practically see him sitting in his char, legs crossed daintily and politely sipping his black/peach tea with lemon, a content, light smile on his face while he waited for you to finish ingurgitating your meal.
For the rest of the day you just kinda meandered around the house, lost in thought and wondering where your usually punctual lusus was. Texting Cronus for info on your lusus' well being yielded no results other than a string of emojis laughing so hard they were crying, then he stopped replying for whatever reason.
At around five o'clock you were relieved to see Kankri home, taking off his jacket and taking deep breaths for some reason. Did he lose track of time and run home? First time for everything, you supposed.
"Hey... where've you been?" you asked, sounding nonchalant despite your curiosity eating away at your conscience. You were surprised to see him jump a bit, startled, though not without reason; it was a good hour or two after your usual pre-sleep naptime schedule you kept like it was part of your religion.
"I was with Cronus," he answered in a semi-aloof manner. "How was your day?" he countered, hanging up the jacket and turning to you.
"It was fine... thanks for breakfast, dad," you said gratefully, earning a smile from the candyblood. He didn't smile often so when he did, it sent warm waves all over you... like no matter what was happening, everything would be okay. If he smiled when he ranted you were sure no one would leave just so they could keep seeing it.
"You are welcome, (y/n)." he says in a gracious manner and walks to the love seat he had been sitting in when you were first busted, sighing in relief when he sat down and popping his back and neck.
"So? Where did you go with Cronus?" you asked, not hiding your curiosity and laying on your belly on the couch, hugging a throw pillow close and resting your chin on it while you examined your baby-faced lusus.
"I ran into someone who deserved a good scolding," he answered with a minuscule glance in your direction before relaxing on the chair.
'poor sucker," your mind snorted, wondering who the poor soul was but not really caring.
You spent the rest of the day watching romcoms and (f/m/g) while eating popcorn and snuggled up next to each other in warm blankets, your lusus tucking you in for the first time since you were a toddler.
The next day your best friend sent you a link with "You have GOT to watch this!" as the only explanation. Clicking on the link lead you to a YouTube video of a very familiar troll brutally esteem-bashing your ex with no fucks given at any point in time, even when they were close to tears. The up-loader's name was CAmpora giving away the one responsible.
"Dad?" you called to the troll washing dishes, who 'hmm?'d in reply. "Did you and Cronus go over to my ex's house and give (him/her) a shakedown?"
"........ Did Cronus film a video and upload it?"
"Yup."
"That traitor."
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WHEW!
In all honestly, I'm pretty proud of this one. I hope you all like it!