Hello!!!
Please, please, please listen to the song. It was written and performed by a friend of mine and I'd love some feedback...
Also, please read the note at the bottom. It's really long (sorry about that), but it's important so I'd appreciate it if you'd read it...
Enjoy!
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Chapter 72
Shannon’s P.O.V:
I raised my hand to knock on the door for the third time, beginning to wonder with more than a little exasperation if anyone was even home. I cursed under my breath, knowing I probably should have called first. Spontaneity and I had never been the best of friends.
While I waited for a response, I leant against the doorframe and closed my eyes, thinking back over the last twenty four hours. It all seemed slightly surreal, but I still got a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach when I thought of Nick. An involuntary smile tugged at my lips when I remembered all that had happened between us. Sometimes I forgot that we’d only known each other for a few months – it felt like a lot longer. But weren’t those the best friendships? When it felt like you’d known someone your whole life. They were the friendships that lasted.
As I waited, I couldn’t help but reflect on the fact that I’d once rolled my eyes at girls that were so fixated on their boyfriends, they thought of little else, and I’d told myself I’d never be one of them. But now, the butterflies I got at the mere thought of Nick being my boyfriend made me realise that not only was I one of those girls, I had been for a long time. Without me realising it, he had woven himself so tightly into my life that I couldn’t imagine not seeing him every day. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do next year but I quickly buried the thought before I could dwell on it.
Ever since Ryan’s death, I’d been plagued with anxiety. I’d suffered a few minor panic attacks; when the world seemed to close in around me, my throat constricting until I found it hard to breathe. Thankfully, they lasted no more than a minute or two, but I felt totally out of my depth. I knew I should tell someone, but I still had this irrational feeling that I was unnecessarily burdening others with my problems. So I pushed my friends and family away, hating myself for hurting them.
Hopefully, things would change now that Nick and I had reconciled; wiping the slate clean completely. I sighed, my thoughts, as usual, drifting back to the one person I wished I could talk to, the one person I’d never be able to confide in again. Some days were better than others. Some days, though, it was a struggle to even get out of bed. I couldn’t help but feel that things could only get better. After all, Nick and I seemed to be doing better than ever.
I shook my head to myself, raising my hand to rap once more on the door. Finally, I heard the muffled sounds of footsteps approaching. The door opened a little and Nikki poked her head around the gap. Her eyes widened when she saw me and I figured out her reluctance to open the door when she threw her arms around me. She was wearing only a towel.
“Shannon! Oh my God, you’re here! I’m so, so sorry for keeping you waiting. I was in the shower, as you can probably guess.” She giggled shrilly in my ear and I gently disengaged myself from her tight embrace.
“It’s fine. I should have called.”
She grabbed my hand and dragged me into the apartment, babbling away at such a speed that I had a hard time understanding her.
“I’m just going to get dressed” she called over her shoulder as she hurried away. “Make yourself at home.” She chuckled to herself as if she had just cracked a hilarious joke.
I opened my mouth to reply, but she was already gone. I wandered into the kitchen, clutching an almost forgotten bag of Marks and Spencer’s cookies. I’d picked them up on my way over. I thought they’d go very nicely with my apology.
I stopped at the sight of Carla seated at the island, flicking through the newest edition of Cosmo. She didn’t look up.
“Have you been here the entire time?”
She shrugged. I rolled my eyes, wondering if anyone had ever sat her down and explained the meaning of the word ‘polite’ to her. Probably not.
“Did you not think to let me in when I knocked?” I couldn’t help but sound incredulous. I mean, who does that?
She shrugged again, clearly engrossed in her magazine. “I was reading an article about sex positions.” She said it like I was stupid to ask.
I rolled my eyes. Silence descended and I skirted around the island, flicking on the kettle as I passed. I was in dire need of some caffeine.
Finally, Carla deigned to look up. “Oh, Shannon; it’s you.”
I raised an eyebrow, deciding not to comment. She rested her chin on her cupped palms, like a horrible imitation of an angelic child.
“How are you doing? I heard you went a bit crazy after your brother popped his clogs. Have any juicy stories for me?”
I stared at her in shock, feeling my cheeks heat. I literally couldn’t think of anything to say. If anybody else had said something like that, I would have been hurt and offended, but I knew from experience just how insensitive Carla could be. She didn’t say things out of spite, she was just too stupid to realise what was acceptable and what wasn’t. Right now, she’d crossed so far into unacceptable; she couldn’t even see the line anymore.
“I’m fine, thank you” I said stiffly. “And no, I don’t have any ‘juicy stories’ for you.”
She just shrugged her shoulders again. “Suit yourself.”
With a flick of a page, she was once more engrossed in whatever article she was reading, and I once more became non-existent. Not that I minded in the slightest. In fact, I preferred it that way. Talking to Carla could be a delicate process.
I took a moment to concentrate on my breathing and collect my thoughts, before reaching for three cups with shaky fingers.
I was just pouring milk into the tea, when Nikki appeared – fully clothed this time. She instantly gravitated towards the cookies, her eyes lighting up with something I could only describe as avarice. I chuckled at her gleeful expression as I handed her a cup and pushed one over to Carla – who happily picked it up and took a sip, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge my efforts.
Nikki picked up the bag and looked at me hopefully with doe eyes that had absolutely no effect on me. “For me?”
I nodded as I walked past her and back to the living room. I wanted to sit down – and I didn’t want to be near Carla more than was necessary. I placed my tea gently onto the coffee table before falling back onto the couch with a sigh.
“Thank you” Nikki mumbled around a mouthful of cookie.
I waved away her comment. “No need to thank me. They’re apology cookies, for being such an awful friend.”
It took her a few seconds to swallow. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Shannon. I probably should have done more to help.”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. “I feel like this could easily turn into an argument. How about we’re both sorry?”
She smiled. “Deal.”
We sat in a comfortable silence for a minute – eating cookies and drinking tea. Finally, the question I’d been waiting for came, but I didn’t mind. Nikki was one of my closest friends.
“How are you? I mean, with everything that happened…” She trailed off. “I didn’t even get a chance to see you and tell you how sorry I was.”
I sighed. I felt bad that I wasn’t the only one affected by what had happened. My friends had been worried, and I knew that most of it had been my fault. Hindsight is a bitch.
“I’m sorry” I began. “I know I already said it, and you have the cookies to prove it, but it doesn’t make how I acted okay. I just, wasn’t seeing clearly, you know?” I paused, feeling tears sting the back of my eyes. Damn it, but I was sick of crying.
“It was hard, it still is. But I’m sorry for dragging all of you into it, and making you worry.” I spoke as sincerely, and openly, as I could. She deserved that much.
“You didn’t drag us into anything” she said with determination. “We only worried because we care. You’d do the same for any of us.”
I sent her a small smile; “I’m glad you’re not angry. I don’t know what I’d do if you all hated me.” Flashes of how my friendship with Natalie had ended crossed my mind. I couldn’t let that happen again.
She reached over and patted my hand. “Sorry, but you’re stuck with us now.”
I laughed, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off me.
My laughter died away though, when I saw Nikki watching me with uncertainty. “What?”
She tucked her tangled hair behind her ears and bit her lip, letting the silence grow between us for another minute. “Don’t get mad, but I think you should work things out with Nick.”
I stared at her for a moment and she held up her hand, as if I was trying to interrupt her.
“Just hear me out, okay?” She continued. “I know he’s been a complete wanker in the past, but he’s really been there for you, and I knew he loves you. So I think you should give him a second chance.” She let it all out in a rush, not stopping to breathe.
I quirked an eyebrow in amusement. “You’re a bit late, but I appreciate the sentiment.”
She frowned. “Late?”
I nodded. “We worked things out last night. We’re now officially together – no confusion.”
“Really?”
I nodded in affirmation.
She squealed- yes, actually squealed; like a twelve year old at a Justin Bieber concert – and threw her arms around me in a tight grip that almost choked me. “I’m so happy for you!”
I chuckled; “I’m happy for me too.”
She pulled away from me and suddenly grabbed the edge of the couch, looking around her wildly.
“What’s wrong?” She looked almost scared.
She turned to me, eyes wide. “Do you hear that? I think the Apocalypse has come!”
I narrowed my eyes at her when she started to giggle. “I’m glad to see you think so much of my love life” I sniffed – right before throwing a cushion in her face. I must say, it was rather satisfying.
She hugged the cushion to her chest and smiled at me. “You must admit, your relationship with Nick has seen more drama than an episode of Desperate Housewives.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. I can happily say that there will be no more drama.”
She smiled again, but this time I detected a hint of bitterness to the tilt of her lips. “I hope so” she said quietly, averting her gaze.
The sadness in her eyes reminded me of one of the most important reasons why I’d come to visit. I pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them as I studied my friend. She hid her sadness well, but we were too close for me not to notice.
“What’s been going on with you and Jay?” I figured there was no point beating around the bush.
“Nick?” she asked dully.
I nodded. “Yes, but he didn’t know much.”
Her blue eyes suddenly filled with tears. “That’s probably because we don’t even know much.”
“Did he do something?” I asked gently.
She shook her head tearfully.
“Did you?” I wouldn’t judge, but I had to ask.
Again, she shook her head, swiping at her eyes with her sleeve.
She laughed humourlessly. “You probably think I sound like an idiot.”
I shook my head. “No, I know how complicated relationships can be, if neither of you did anything, why is there a problem?”
“I don’t know” she burst out, tears trickling down her cheeks.
“I just don’t know” she repeated. “Everything was going so well. Ever since…ever since we, you know, did it, we’ve been closer than ever.”
She paused, a slight blush tinging her cheeks. I just rested my chin on my knees and waited for her to finish.
“But lately, I don’t know, everything seems to be going wrong. We fight all the time and we barely see each other. I find myself getting irritated over the littlest things – like the way he drums his fingers against his knee when he’s thinking.” She swallowed and hugged the cushion ever closer. “I know I shouldn’t get so annoyed by the things he does, but I just can’t seem to stop myself. It’s awful.”
I couldn’t help but feel surprised. Nikki and Jay had always seemed like the perfect couple. But it just goes to show that you never know what goes on behind closed doors.
“I don’t know what to do, Shannon.”
I sighed, “I know this is going to sound horribly cliché, but you really need to talk to him. You’re the only ones who can fix this.”
She nodded. “I know. I’m just scared I’ll lose my best friend.”
“Anything has to be better than not knowing. Once you’ve talked, you can move forward.” The ‘with or without him’ was unspoken, but nevertheless there.
I scooted closer to her as she covered her face with her hands and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. There was nothing more I could say.
Without a word, Carla appeared in the door and walked over to the couch, taking a seat on Nikki’s other side. Like me, she wrapped an arm around Nikki in silent comfort. I was mildly surprised at her caring actions, but then I’d always known that she wasn’t a bad person. She apparently did have a compassionate bone in her body, and that made me respect her more than anything else could have.
Over the next few hours, we finished off the cookies, a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, multiple bars of chocolate, and watched three sappy movies – including, I’m ashamed to say, The Notebook. We basically confirmed every female stereotype in mere hours.
As the end credits began to roll, Carla got up to turn off the TV, while Nikki and I lay groaning on the couch. I was so full I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to move again.
“Thanks guys. I think I needed that.”
I groaned again. “I just gained a stone for you. If that’s not friendship, I don’t know what is.”
Carla giggled. I almost fell onto the floor with shock. Carla giggled at a joke I made. Maybe she was high on ice-cream? Seemed legit…
“What time is it?” I asked, yawning suddenly and prompting the others to as well.
“It’s almost four” was Nikki’s reply.
“Jeez, I’ve been here for hours.”
“Time flies when you’re having fun” Carla interjected dryly as she carried our accumulated rubbish into the kitchen.
I rolled my eyes at her back before looking back to Nikki. “I better go home. I’ve got class at nine in the morning and I have an essay to finish.”
The thought of doing college work actually made me shudder.
“Okay, I’ll see you soon though?”
I smiled at my friend’s worry. “Of course. You’ll see me so often, you’ll be sick of the sight of me.”
“Challenge accepted” she chuckled.
Getting up was a struggle, but after a minute I managed to roll to my feet. I extended a hand to help Nikki up.
“Are you going to get a taxi?” She asked as she walked me to the door.
I shook my head, though I thought of hailing a taxi with longing. “No. I could use the walk after everything we ate.”
“Okay, well, call if you collapse on the side of the road from exhaustion, or something.”
I laughed, hugging her. “Will do.”
The walk home took twice as long as normal and I even stopped for a five minute break halfway back to the college. Finally though, I walked through the gates, almost crying with relief. Part of me took note of the fact that I should really take it as a sign that I needed to do more exercise. I pushed the thought far from my mind as I noticed the weird looks I was getting. I couldn’t make myself care.
While mentally congratulating myself, I was oblivious to the sound of footsteps approaching from behind me, until I felt a hand come down on my shoulder. I almost fell over from fright, and would have been giving the ground an impromptu kiss if it wasn’t for the same hand hauling me up and against a very familiar chest.
I glared up at Nick’s smirking face, phone pressed to his ear. It explained why he hadn’t called out to me. I pulled myself out of his grip and straightened my clothes, willing myself not to blush.
With a smile, Nick dipped his head and pressed a quick kiss to my lips. I couldn’t stop a smile from forming. My day had just gotten so much better.
He glared into the distance, a muscle in his jaw beginning to tick. “Yes, I’m listening to you.”
I raised an eyebrow but he just shook his head when he noticed my look, taking my hand and tugging me in the direction of the apartment block. I was content to walk quietly beside him as he grunted into his phone, obviously impatient with whoever was on the other end.
It wasn’t until we’d made it home and I’d unlocked the door that Nick hung up with an eye-roll. He tugged me to him in an instant, kissing me with an intensity that left me breathless. When we finally broke contact, it was with a smile on both of our lips. I’d missed him, missed us, more than I could ever express in words.
“Who was that on the phone?” I asked, making no effort to disengage myself from his arms. He didn’t seem to mind.
“My boss” he sighed.
“Oh? What did she do to get in your bad books?”
He wrinkled his nose with distaste. “You mean besides being a bitch from hell?”
I nodded, not trying to hide my amusement. His boss sounded formidable – but then, that was probably just Nick being dramatic.
“I have to work tonight” he pouted.
“What time?” I absently traced the line of his mouth as I spoke.
“I have to go in for seven.”
“Oh good” I laughed, finally pulling away from him to go lie down on the couch. “I might actually get some of my college work done, then.”
The pout made a reappearance as he followed me over sit at the foot of the couch, pulling my legs over his lap. “Way to make a guy feel loved.”
I closed my eyes, still full from all the food I’d consumed at Nikki’s. “What can I say? I aim to please.” I said sarcastically.
He sighed dramatically. “It’s a good thing I love you, Sweetheart.”
I just smiled, my eyes staying shut, even as Nick moved me over so he could curl himself around me.
“That reminds me. What are you doing tomorrow?”
“I have class at nine but I’m finished at twelve.”
“So you’re not doing anything tomorrow night?”
There was a slight hesitance in his voice that made me turn around to see what was making him so anxious.
“Nope.”
He reached up to twirl a strand of my hair around his finger. “I want to take you out to dinner.”
I raised an eyebrow in surprise. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that. I was silent for a moment, enjoying our close proximity after so much time apart.
“We haven’t actually been on a date yet, have we?” I mused aloud.
He shook his head as best he could while lying down, and smiled wryly. “No, we didn’t exactly go about things in the usual way.”
“That’s what makes us so special” I whispered, and was rewarded with a brilliant smile that I knew was only for me.
“So what do you say?”
“That I’m all yours” I smiled.
“Perfect” he murmured, with a kiss to seal the deal.
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Okay, first of all, I’d like to apologise for taking so long to upload. I’m not going to bore anyone with a list of reasons, but basically, as much as I like writing, my life doesn’t revolve around it. I have other responsibilities, and I hope you can respect that. I’d also like to thank those of you have been supportive during my absence, and I’m sorry for not getting back to those who fanned, commented, or messaged me. So I’m saying thank you now.
Also, a quick note to those who have been asking how many more chapters are in this story. The answer is; not many, though I don’t have an exact number. I know some of you think I should just end it, but as a reader I despise when authors end their stories without tying up all the loose ends, as if they just got bored. I refuse to do that, and as there are still a lot of unanswered questions in this story, it won’t end just yet. But there isn’t much left and I’ll let you all know when I get to the last few chapters.
One of the reasons it’s taken me so long to upload is that I’ve been attempting to edit the story. The beginning of the story, especially, is taking a lot of work, because I evidently couldn’t write back then :)
I’m going to start uploading a Revised Edition of this story, though the updates won’t be frequent or regular.
I won’t be making any changes to the essential storyline, but I will be taking out parts, adding bits in and changing descriptions. There will also be more detail in places where it’s lacking.
Nobody is under any obligation to read the Revised Edition, and in fact, I don’t expect many to at all, but I will feel better having an edited version up that people can read if they want. It should be a lot better as well.
I think that’s everything, and I’m going to stop talking now because I think this A/N is actually longer than the chapter now… :S
Please comment and let me know what you’re thinking. It’s always appreciated. :)
Kaz xoxo