I have a problem. And I'm sure I need help... What is my problem, you ask?
I have depression.
Somedays, I think I'm kind of bipolar, because there are days where everything is great and life sounds like a good thing, but lately... everything lacks of sense and I don't get happy about anything. Not my job, not my studies, not my friends... And that's what I fear the most, dragging my friends with me into this pit without return.
Laying around in the couch sounds like a good idea, most of the time. I seriously don't know what to do anymore and that also frustrates me. Also, and to make myself even more pathetic-or that's what I believe-I don't have a boyfriend. Honestly, I want someone in my life that I could count on, but boys these days, I don't know...
And to add the cherry to the cake, my parents are not the best in their area of expertise, at least when it comes to parenting. As they don't have the best example and demand too much of me all the time, I just want to... disappear.
Ring, ring!
"Whoever it is, make it quick. I'm not in the mood" I replied my phone, my voice speaking loud about my mood.
"I can see that, girl..." Great, it's Madison... How does she put up with me, I don't know "I was calling you to come to the park with a couple of friends, but it's obvious that you're not in the best of moods..."
"May I say, congrats, Captain Obvious?" I rolled my eyes, knowing Madison cannot see me.
"There's no need to take it out on me, Cam..." she reminded me, softly. I know this also is taking a lot from her, but she hides it pretty well from me "Just, let me know if you need me... A movie, a hot chocolate... You just call me, alright?" I could hear her voice trembling. She was trying to be strong for me.
"Of course, Madi" I lied to her. Did I just lied to her? Why did I just lied to her?! "Just, have fun at the park and take loads of pictures for me, alright?"
"Alright, sure... Oh! And I'll save you a Kit-Kat and some Hershey's!" That made me chuckle against my will, but I don't stop it either.
"Bye, Madi..." I said to her, before hanging up and setting the phone aside. I felt guilty to disappoint Madi again. What should I do to make it up to her? Because I need to make it up to her... right? I don't feel good right now, my head feels like it'll explode and there's nothing good on TV, so I rather take a nap. Yeah... that would be the best...
~oOo~
Knock, knock, knock!
I groaned, opening my eyes. Who dare to interrupt my nap?! My nap is sacred! Well, it is to me! I checked the clock before getting up and heading to the door, as the annoying and constant pounding wasn't stopping.
"I'm coming! I'm coming!" I shouted, not rushing to the door "Whoever this is, you better have a great excuse to interrupt my nap!" I scolded the person behind the door, but when I opened it, I saw Madi standing there with a couple of her friends I have never seen before.
The girl was stylish in her own way, with brown long and curly hair, tied up in a ponytail with a bow. It was adorable in her own way. Though I'm not sure she aimed for that, only for comfort. Her skin was toasted in the tan way, and made her look even older than she was. Her green grass eyes were bright and, somehow, she smelled like recently mowed lawn. I always like that smell.
The guy next to her gave me the impression that I'd have to lock away my most precious things. Meaning, that he had to keep his hands away from my PS4 and my laptop. His hair was also brown and curly, but the similarities ended there, as he was more pale then her, though he was tanned as well. His eyes were a bright blue sky that made you wary of him. His smile as well was screaming 'mischief!' with several speakers.
"Didn't know you were napping, sorry" Madi apologized, but there was no real sorry behind it. Though Madi love naps like any other person, she hates when I'm taking naps in the middle of the day, so she loves to interrupt them "Cam, these are Connor and Miranda... I was gonna introduce them to you at the park, but, well..." I stared at Madi, confused. What had she told them?!
"Nice to meet you" Miranda greeted me, smiling.
"Likewise... Madi, can we talk in private for a second?" I grabbed her elbow and dragged her away from ear rage "What the Hell did you tell them?" I whisper yelled at her, frowning. She shrugged.
"That you weren't feeling well... It was Miranda's idea to come here and I agreed with her" I didn't believe her, but it was common for Madi to manipulate people so that they would do whatever she wants, without saying the words. One time, I saw her manipulate a group of boys only by saying 'pick the movie you want'! They all ended up watching The Fault In Our Stars!
"Fine" I agreed, not wanting be rude with the guests. I walked back to the living room, where Connor and Miranda were picking on each other-well, more like Connor was picking on Miranda-while seated on a picnic cloth.
"We know you're not feeling well..." Miranda started, while slapping Connor's hand off the basket "...so we brought the picnic to you... We have games, chocolate and fuzzy drinks...if Connor doesn't finish them first..." We all turned to Connor, who looked back, confused.
"What?" he complained, not sounding innocent. We all chuckled at his reaction, making me feel a little better. Madi shared a look with me and smiled.
She knows how to cheer me up.
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Hey, guys...
Sorry about the delay, but I had another chapter ready for you-coincidently, another Connor/Miranda-until a friend of mine send me a text and my whole day turned upside down... This is for that friend-not gonna mention names, but it's not the friend I mention all the time-and all of your friends that suffer from this... Some of us don't know how to deal with it and some are better than others... But I do believe that we ALL, have this problem or not, have to live one day at the time...
Also, I know that if you follow my other stories, you've read it before, but a friend/writer/roleplay buddy, with the username Purely_Half_Dragon (I bet some of you know him) has started a fund to earn money for a new computer. Is his goal to get one before going to college in March. I'd like for all of you to pass around this fund's site (https://www.gofundme.com/Laptop-for-College-Fund) and, if you cannot because you're young, or you don't have enough money to donate, please, share it with your friends and relatives. When you do, add the #DonateForSean
It will take only a few minutes of your time and he would be more than grateful that you're sharing it around...
Thanks for having patience on me and my notes and my explanations... You guys are the best!