It's been a few month since mom has came back from the hospital. I fixed my bangs as I looked at myself on the mirror. I decided to let my hair loose again today, as the weather is still quite cold even after winter has passed. I heard a voice from outside as if there are things thrown right to my window. I take a peek and saw Baekhyun is standing outside of my house. My lips curved upwards.
I waved him and left my room. I rushed downstairs, making my mom shocked. "Why in such hurry?" She wipes her hands on her apron and stand in front of the staircase. "I'm going to school now." I said to her. "Going to school like that?" She questioned, making me stopped in my track as I raised my eyebrows at her. She shook her head and take a scarf off the hook nearby the staircase and wrapped it around my neck. "It's still cold outside, don't act tough." She joked.
"Okay. I'll go to school now! Don't forget to take your meals, mom!" I said and rushed outside. I could still see my breath as I breathe, showing how cold the weather still is. Baekhyun is wearing a scarf around his neck as well, probably because he couldn't handle the cold. "Aigoo." He said as he saw me rushing towards him. He takes out his hand from his pocket and fixed my bangs, "Don't run. You'll fall. And don't have to be in such a hurry. I would still be here waiting for you, anyways." He smile.
We smiled at each other, and he broke the silence. "Should we go now?"
I nodded.
He holds my hand and proceed to walks. "Are you usually this cute?" I asked, and he laughed at my question. We walked at the neighbourhood as our conversation go on, leaving the echo of our voices behind.
---
"What?!" Nayeon's voice slightly pitched higher than usual, and Jackson's face is priceless upon hearing our statement. Why are they giving us such responses is because Baekhyun was just officially announced our relationship to both of them, thinking that keeping it secret from both of them; who did almost everything for us, is not a good choice. "Since when?" Nayeon asked again, Jackson agreed with her question and repeated the same thing.
"Recently." Baekhyun steadily answered. "How?" Jackson asked. "Just, kinda happened." Baekhyun replied again.
"Did you perhaps, fall for Hana in first sight?" Nayeon teasily said, dancing in her seat, moving her hands randomly. "Be careful! Your hands might fall off if you keep doing it", Jackson said, poking Nayeon with his elbow.
They hissed at each other like cat and dog again. The class suddenly is in a hurry, rushing to their own seats, making Jackson and Nayeon to return to their seats, as well. Soon after, our teacher entered the class, standing in front of the class, hushing the whole class while at it. She scanned the whole class before taking a deep breath. "Kids, you know what day is today, right?" She questioned. The whole class seems to has no idea on what day the teacher is talking about.
So does, Baekhyun, Nayeon and especially Jackson. The clueless face he is wearing is somewhat funny. The teacher exhaled in defeat. "Well, since our school is a bit.. 'unique', today is the 'Live healthily' day." The teacher explained.
The whole class has finally seems to remembered, they let out a deep sigh, some has already planted their face on the surface of the table. Complains could be heard from every corner of the room, making our teacher shut them up again. "So, since you all have finally know what day is this, please go change your uniform to your P.E uniform."
The whole class groan. "Now, now. Stop complaining. Go. Now." She commanded. The whole class unwillingly moved their legs, making their way out of the class. Nayeon walked towards us and sighed. "What a day." Nayeon muttered.
"Come on, Hana. Let's go." She wrapped her arm around mine, but stopping before walking out of the class as she turned back and looked at Baekhyun. "I'm going to kidnap your girlfriend for a while." She saluted at Baekhyun and pulled me out of the class.
---
Nayeon was mumbling something at me but I can't seem to focus on what she has been saying. None managed to stick at my head. While she was busy mumbling about things, my head suddenly feel dizzy, and my vision is blurry and fuzzy. I told myself to get a hold, and somehow I managed to. "Are you done?"
"Ah? oh. I'll chase you afterwards. Wait me outside, okay?" I told Nayeon and she slightly nodded and walked out. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Holding on to the locker, I massaged the side of my head. The dizziness seem to fade away but it's still there. Then I could feel something warm flowed out of my nose. I reached out and touched the liquid-like that flowed out of my nose. "Blood?"
I was in my own thoughts but Nayeon's voice rings in my head as she calls for my name. It brings me back to my senses and blinked my eyes multiple times before closing the locker. "Coming!"
I knew that Nayeon has been standing outside of the changing room for a while now, since she's fidgeting a lot. "What took you so long? Are you okay?" She asked, her face fulled with concern. I shook my head, smiling, I told her I'm fine. She narrowed her eyes at me but decided to let it go. "Come on. We're late." She pulled my hand and rushed towards the field.
"Is everyone here?" Teacher Kang asked, scanning the class. "Yes, teacher!" The class leader responded. Teacher Song passed by our class and hit Teacher Kang on the back with the paperboard, "Go easy on my kids", she muttered before earning giggles from the class. The other class are gathering at the field, as well. As expected, majority of the students are complaining, groaning in frustration and some are unwilling to do the activity of the day. Nayeon was searching for the two of guys, standing on her tip toes as she searched the crowd.
Arms suddenly wrapped around my waist as I was looking at the crowd, and a chin is resting on my shoulder. "So warm", he said. I smiled upon his cute action. "Hana! Can you help me find those guys? I can't seem to find them." I heard Nayeon said, her eyes are still glued to the crowd. "If you're searching for the guys, one is already tamed by your friend", a male voice speaks up, which is belong to Jackson.
Nayeon turned around and rested her hands on her waist, looking at Jackson as he raised his shoulders and dropped them again. "What took you guys so long?" Nayeon walked towards Jackson as she asked. "Did you miss me already?" Jackson asked, and as expected he got a punch on the arm from her.
After a while, all of the class have seem to gathered at the field, so the head principle started to talk with a mic. He gave speech on how cold the weather is but told us that it shouldn't be a problem for us to held this healthy life event. So the principle made us run marathon around the city after he ended his speech, and the first three would get presents, that was what we were told.
So, the whole school started running according to the route explained to us just now. Some didn't bother to rush and are taking their sweet time talking with their friends instead. I'm jogging with Nayeon by my side and the guys are in front. Nayeon already complained how cold it is, and I couldn't help but to agree as well.
As we are running, the dizziness is back again, making me almost stumble over myself. Nayeon kind of didn't noticed that, fortunately. I let out a breath and shook my head, and pulled myself back together again. I can't help but wonder what triggers the dizziness. We were running quite some time now and we finally saw the checkpoint where some of the teachers are there. They provided drinks, as well.
Teacher Song is there and provided us some mineral when we have arrived. She passed the bottle to me but stopped halfway as she observed my face. "Are you okay?" She asked. She has that worried look on her face so I smile at her, telling her that I'm fine. She nodded and encouraged me to hang in there.
While we were running, Jackson would teases Nayeon, and they would chase after each other in a while. While Nayeon is at it, I could see Baekhyun is standing in front as he looks at me. "So slow", he teased. "Of course. I am not made athletic", I mumbled under my breath. He started running by my side and would teased me. He suddenly held out his hand and looked at me. I raised my eyebrow at him and he smiled. "Hand", he said.
I held out my hand and he grabbed it, holding to it as we run. I was startled by his action, made me looked around my surrounding but he assured me that it's okay so I let him hold my hand. We talked while we are on our way back to school ground, following the route showed by our teacher.
We've reached the school ground and I could see Nayeon is lying down on the soft grass. Some of the students are already sitting on the track, gasping for air. "You're fast", I said to Nayeon who is lying down with her eyes closed. "You're slow. Probably taking your sweet time dating. I don't mind", she looked at me as I sit next to her.
Baekhyun came back with mineral in his hand, and gave it out to me. Jackson came back together with him as well and gave Nayeon the extra mineral he got. It's unfortunate that we didn't win the prize, but it's not bad to run around the city with them at my side. And doing the unnecessary sightseeing with Baekhyun was an extra.
We have to continue with our class even though we've been running for hours, as the principal says, "Balanced in education and physical".
We returned home after the final class was done, and we walked out of school ground as usual, separated at the intersection afterwards. Baekhyun walked me home and he never forget to gives me a hug before he left.
Mom told me she would be going out for a while and has contacted Taehyung to take care of the house for her. Maybe Taehyung is her favourite now. I nodded and proceed to my room and closed the door. I throw myself on the soft bed of mine and slowly, I drifted to sleep.
I woke up after what it feels like hours later, it's already so dark outside, and the only source of light is from the street light right outside of my house, and the light that comes from the moon. It made its way through my window. I slowly get up and sit on my bed, touching my head. "What time is it?" I mumbled, taking my handphone from my desk.
7.05 p.m.
I let out a sigh and walked out of my bed, when the dizziness strikes again and make me almost fall. I managed to grabbed on to my desk and stand still. I closed my eyes for several minutes before opening them back again, expecting the headache to disappear but none happened. The headache is still there. I hold my head with my left hand, groaning in pain.
Then, I could hear dripping sound. I looked on the ground as I could see several drips on the floor. I reached for my nose again and wipe the warm liquid off. "What is happening?" is all I could think of. Thank goodness after several minutes, it gone.
---
School starts like usual again on the next day. Everything seems normal to me. Jackson yawning in his seat, Nayeon with her new novel, Baekhyun is asleep on his desk next to me. The ring bells and the students returned to their seats. Our history subject teacher entered the class and started the class as usual. She explained everything that she has to. I can't seem to focus as my vision is fuzzy again. She stopped as her eyes landed on me.
"Hana?" She called out my name. I slowly lifted my head to look at her. Even her face looks fuzzy to me. "Are you okay? You're sleepy? You should go to the washroom and wash your face." She stated. I quickly nodded my head, trying to make the pain I'm having to look less obvious. I could feel Baekhyun's stare on me but I proceed anyway.
I slide the door opened and walked towards the direction of our washroom.
I splashed my face with the cold water, and looked at my reflection. "Is something wrong with me?" I questioned myself. I shook the thoughts off my head and was about to leave the washroom when the dizziness becomes too much for me to handle, and I ended up collapsing on the ground. I saw a figure enters the washroom and rush towards me. "Hello? Can you hear me?" She shouted at me as she shakes my body. She stands up again on her feet, ran outside and brings a teacher in.
I could see it's crowded outside of the toilet, trying to look inside. "Miss? Are you okay? Can you hear me?", I heard the teacher asked me. But I have no energy left to reply to her questions and I feel tired. And darkness consumed my vision.
---
The moment I wake up, the first thing I saw is the white ceiling. 'Again', I thought to myself. Why am I here, though?
"Hana!" I heard someone shouted my name. I turned to the side and I could see mom and Baekhyun are standing at the side. "Do you recognize me?" Mom asked in panic. She quickly rushed outside to call for doctors. "Hana! Can you see me?" Baekhyun asked me. 'Ah, he looks worried', I told myself in the head. He's holding my hand tightly, his face is pale. Mom came back with a doctor and two nurse tagging along.
The doctor checked on me and asked me various questions, which I could only answer by nodding or shaking my head.
I could see Mom and Baekhyun are standing outside of my room, looking all serious. I could hear Nayeon's voice as well. After a while, Mom entered the room again and closed the door behind. Before she fully closed the door, I managed to catch the glimpse of Baekhyun looking at my direction with a pain expression.
Mom pulled a smile on her face as she sits on the chair prepared near the bed. "How are you feeling?" She holds my hand. I just managed to smile. "I'm fine", I muttered softly after gathering my energy. She bite her lower lips and look away for a moment before she lifted her face again and smile at me.
"It's good if you're feeling that way", She said.
Her sad face drives my curiosity insane. "What's with your face?" I asked. She seems like she was taken aback by my question. "Do you want to eat?" She asked. "Are you hungry?" She added.
"I'm not hungry"
"Then, do you want something to drink? Warm milk? Warm chocolate? Something?" She continuously asked, as if she's avoiding my question. "Anything is fine", I said after I took a deep breath.
"Sure, sure. I'll get it for you." She said. I hold on to her hand and she looks at me. "But, what's with your face mom?" My voice sounds weak, but edible to her ears. "Let me get you some warm drink first." She smile, and I nodded in defeat. She walked out of the room and came back after several minutes with a cup of warm drinks in her hand.
She handed it to me and I took it. She muttered a be careful since the drinks is warm. I hold it in my hand and asked her the same question again. She seems hesitate at first. After taking a deep breath, she looked at me.
---
I space out as I looked at my reflection on the surface of the water. Her words echoed in my ears, lingering at the back of my head.
"You collapsed when you were at the washroom at your school." She started. "And you were rushed to the infirmary at first. But the doctor at your infirmary quickly commanded the teachers to rushed you to the hospital. Baekhyun tagged along and followed the ambulance," She explained.
"I was called when I was at home and rushed here. By the time I arrived here, Baekhyun and your friends were standing outside of the emergency room. And you were then assigned to this room." She stopped, her breathing slowly becomes unstable, I noticed. "Then, what did the doctor said?"
She looked at me in the eyes. I could see the hesitation in her eyes again. But she opened her mouth and decided to continue telling me what happened. "The doctor said.."
"That you are diagnosis with a brain tumor. Last stage." Her voice weakened by every words that came out of her mouth. I was too speechless and didn't know if this was a dream, or reality. "So, what did he told you after that?"
She clasped her hands together, "You have one month left."
'I have one month left, huh?', I told myself. The door slide opened and revealed Baekhyun. I looked at his direction and he closed the door. He smile. He's trying to hard to smile, I know.
"How are you feeling?" He asked as he sat down on the chair. I smile. "Should I say fine?" I laughed, but it doesn't seem funny, and it didn't lifted the total amount of silence the atmosphere carried. Baekhyun reached out for my hand and softly rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. "So, do you know?"
"Um", he nodded his head weakly. "That I have one month left?"
He nodded his head again, his eyes are glued to my hand. I let out a laugh, making Baekhyun lifted his face and looked at me. "I guess I won't live long, huh?"
"When I finally decided to be happy and is happy with my life." I muttered. "I know", Baekhyun mumbled under his breath. "Then one month from now on, I won't be able to walk to school with you anymore." He remained quiet at my statement, probably because he knows it's the truth and he doesn't knows how to reply to such statement. He couldn't find the right words.
"I won't be able to have dates with you,"
"I won't be able to share laughter with you,"
"I won't--" I swallowed my words. "..see my future with you in it." The words somehow made me realised that it stings a lot, that all I speak off is truth, and we can't avoid it. My lips are trembling, my hands are shaking. The tears flowed down my cheeks and I started to sobs. This pain is too much for me to handle that even words, cannot describe.
Thinking all of the things I want to do with Baekhyun didn't help, and I realised how much it hurts. Baekhyun stands on his feet and wrapped his arms around me and buried his face on my shoulder. I hugged back, clenching my fingers tightly on his shirt, I cry.
Baekhyun hushed me, trying to calm me down. Trying to conceal his emotions so he could comforts me, but his voice is wavering, shaking. He cried as he hugged me, I know. I feel his warm tears on my shoulder.
Like when a snow finally melted when the winter ends, disappears from the surface of the earth. Like when the autumn leaves fall off its branch, like when the flowers stopped blooming after spring passed, like when the summer light and warmth have gone. My dreams become the snow that melted, become the leaves that finally let go of its branch, the flowers that have stopped blooming beautifully, and like the warmth of summer that no longer gives its warmth.
My dreams.
Vanished in a split second into the thin air. Like those seasons.
---
A/N: LONG UPDATE! OKay my head is hurts. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! One more step towards the end! Sorry for the grammatical errors and spelling.