Chapter Sixty-One // {jordan's pov}
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I lifted up one of the 'W' people's body and threw it onto the pile. We were going to burn them and bury our own. I was on gate duty soon, but I wanted to be the one that lit these people on fire. They weren't even people. They were like those at Terminus, too far gone.
I watched as some Alexandrians that I didn't catch the names of, threw petrol onto the bodies.
"Alright, that's enough," I muttered making them back off. I lit a match and threw it onto the pile of bodies. The pile lit up into flames. The smell of burning bodies slowly filled the area. I almost gagged at the smell. I turned around quickly, leaving them to monitor the blaze.
I made my way to the front gate. I walked past so many people mourning over friends and maybe even family members that died. It was uncomfortable to see. Especially the bodies that were chopped up.
I arrived at the gate, a few people such as Maggie were talking in a huddled group at the bottom of the gate. I ignored them and climbed up the ladder. I was shocked to see Deanna there. She was looking at a sign that her husband had made.
"I'm sorry, Deanna. I understand what you're going through," which wasn't a lie, I was -- except we weren't married.
She turned to me frowning, "you still have hope."
"I may never find where he is, you have closure. He died trying to do a good thing, Deanna." I smiled at the woman, she turned around to face Alexandria. I turned too, I could see the smoke rising from where the bodies were being burnt.
I snapped around when I heard faint yelling. A massive load of bodies appeared to be running towards Alexandria. That's when I realised that only one of those were truly alive.
"Open the gates!" I screamed to everyone.
"You still have hope.." Deanna mumbled from beside me, watching the situation.
"Open the goddamn gates! It's Rick!" I screamed as I rushed down the ladder as carefully, but as quickly as I could. I jumped down from the third bottom rung. I sprinted to the gates as they opened it.
Rick fell just before the gates as he pushed a walker. Without thinking, I ran out, helping him up. I got him up and we ran inside the safety of the walls. Someone slammed the gate closed, keeping the thousands of walker's out.
I stepped back from Rick, my eyes watered at the sight of him being physically here.
"Oh, Jordan.." he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I sobbed into his chest. He was safe. He was okay.
"Shh, I'm here... I'm here..." Rick whispered, comforting me. The chances of him being alive were getting slimmer and slimmer as time went by, but now he was here, in my arms. By now, everyone had walked away, leaving us.
"You're okay.. You're actually okay," I breathed out deeply, calming myself down. I pulled away from him. I took a good look at him. He wasn't in the best condition. I glanced at his hand.
My eyes widened, "what did you do? Are you scratched!?" I exclaimed, carefully grabbing his hand. He turned his hand over, grabbing my own.
"I just cut myself, I'm sorry everything didn't go to plan... RV broke down.. Some sound drew the walkers away," Rick explained, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was stressed out. I wasn't surprised, so was I. We were surrounded by walkers.
"The sound was coming from here," I informed, glancing away towards the smoke.
"What? What happened?" he frowned at me as I looked back at him. I sighed.
"These people... they came here with melee weapons, killing our people. They wouldn't surrender. They were so far gone... No one from our group died. They crashed a truck into our wall, the truck horn went off, that's what the noise was," I explained, furrowing my eyebrows.
"Carl and Judith were okay in all of this? Are you okay?" he asked, squeezing my hand. I nodded.
"Enid was with them whilst I was helping everyone out here, they were fine," I replied cautiously.
"You should've been with them! You could've been killed, Jords!" Rick's eyes widened. I chuckled and dropped our hands.
"Don't give me that bullshit," I muttered, glaring at him. Rick sighed.
"I didn't want to wake you..." he trailed off, "where's Carl, I need to speak with him. We kind of fell out before I left."
I looked at him frowning, "fell out?"
He nodded and scratched the back of his neck nervously.
"He's in your house. Tara took Judith to a house that apparently has all these baby toys," I answered.
"Our house," he corrected, before starting to walk ahead to 'our' house. I jogged to catch up with him.
"I'll be back later, I need to do something," I informed him, knowing he was going to be annoyed with me.
"Where are you going?" he questioned, his bright blue eyes stood out in the sunlight. They almost made me want to explain the truth.
"To see maggie. Go sort shit out with your son, I'll see you later," and with that I walked in the opposite direction. I was going to find Maggie.
›››‹‹‹ {rick's pov}
I watched as Jordan walked off in the opposite direction. My heart sunk. I didn't even apologise. I didn't explain.
She seemed off, I was worried Carl told her what I said.. It wasn't that I didn't want to marry her, of course I did, but this wasn't the old world. I didn't even know if marriage meant anything to her and especially now.
I jogged up the steps of our porch and swung open the door. Carl's head popped around the corner. He automatically glared at me.
"Carl.. We need to talk about all of this," I spoke whilst placing my gun and holster on the table near the door.
"Has she seen you?" he questioned, ignoring my statement. I nodded slowly.
"She was on watch," I answered, walking past him to the lounge room. I sat down on the sofa. It felt good to just finally stop running. I needed to clean up soon, but Carl was my top priority.
"Typical," he rolled his eyes, still standing in the doorway. I frowned at him, he actually hated me.
"So, she's carrying your child, she's Judith and I's Mom, you've been with her for what feels like years and you won't even marry her?" Carl exclaimed, throwing his arms up in annoyance.
"It's not like that, Carl! She never valued marriage or children before any of this, she would've never married anyone," I tried explain my fear to my son. He shook his head sadly.
"She would've never met you... Did you see how broken she was after she miscarried? She would've never experienced that before you. Did you even notice her much she glowed when she found out she was pregnant again -- with you? Maggie and Glenn married even if it doesn't mean anything in this world anymore... Why can't you two do the same?"
"I didn't tell her."
"Tell her what?" Carl moved across the room and sat directly opposite me. He looked confused.
"Her Dad.. he didn't make it. I didn't tell her." Carl groaned and fell back into the pillows.
"For fucks sake," he grumbled.
"Carl, watch your mouth," I growled, frowning at his choice of words. He's changed so much.
"I get it from my Mom," he got up and glared at me. I raised an eyebrow. Jordan and her swearing..
"Collin gave me his blessing before I put him down," I informed, looking at the ceiling.
"You need to tell her and you need to make sure she's calm. You should apologise too," he advised, still glaring at me.
"Why is my son so wise..?" I grumbled, pinching the bridge of my nose. I looked up to see him smirking at me. He left and went upstairs.
›››‹‹‹ {jordan's pov}
"Maggie!" I yelled out from afar, she turned around, smiling at me. I jogged over to her.
"Hey, you holding up okay?" I questioned, smiling hopefully. She sighed and nodded slowly.
"I'm tryin'," she answered, glancing at the sun's position.
"Will you come with me to find the others?" I stated, her eyes snapped back to my face. She grabbed ahold of my arm and pulled me towards the side of the road, away from everyone.
"Jordan, you're pregnant, you can't go and neither can I! Rick just came back!" she whispered harshly. I raised my eyebrows.
"Rick doesn't need to know that I'm gone," I stated, putting a hand on my hip.
"You're just goin' to leave him without sayin' anythin'?" Maggie frowned at my attitude. My eyebrows furrowed and I looked away.
"He did..." I whispered softly. Maggie sighed.
"I can't leave, I would, but I can't!" she replied, still whispering.
"Why not? Don't you want to find your husband?" I stood there confused.
She closed her eyes briefly before reopening them, "I can't leave for the same reason that you can't."
Holy shit.
"Maggie.. you mean... you're pregnant too?" I whispered, trying to contain my excitement for her.
She nodded, half smiling. I grinned at her and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her.
"Our kids can grow up together!" I exclaimed quietly. She giggled, trying to not make too much noise to attract attention.
"I'll find someone else to go, okay? I'll bring Glenn back," I stated confidently. She shook her head, glancing behind me.
Arms snaked around my waist. I tensed up. Did he hear me? Maggie sensed my fear and she shook her head at me.
"Can I steal her for a bit?" Rick questioned Maggie, from behind me. Maggie smiled.
"Of course and you should lock her in your house. Keep her from runnin' around all the time," I glared at her, knowing her double meaning. She grinned and walked back over to some Alexandrians.
Rick let go of me and I turned around to face him. I forced a smile. Here I was, trying to run away without my boyfriend knowing. Rick laced his hand with mine and started walking forward.
"Where are we going?" I questioned, butterflies were in my stomach.
"For a walk," he replied, looking straight ahead. I frowned, looking down at the ground. I noticed he was taking me on the other side of Alexandria. Not many people inhabited this area. It was so quiet that I could hear my heart beating out of my chest.
He took me to a seat under a large tree. It looked like a small little park. He sat down and dragged me down beside him.
"We need to talk about a few thangs..." he started, I looked away trying to hide my obvious anxiety. Was he going to tell me he didn't want me around? That he didn't want the baby?
"Hey.. calm down, you're shaking..." Rick lightly grabbed both of my hands, holding them with his own.
"I need to apologise.. I'm so sorry for not waking you and saying goodbye. I could only imagine how you felt," he spoke. Guilt was evident on all his feature. I tucked my leg underneath me, trying to get more comfortable.
"Why didn't you, knowing that you could've died out there without saying goodbye?" I questioned, knitting my eyebrows together.
He glanced down before looking back up at me, "I thought everything would go as plan. I thought that everything would be perfect and I wouldn't have to. I'm so, so sorry for that. I hate goodbyes..."
I nodded in understanding, "that isn't the only reason why we're here, is it?"
Rick shook his head, biting his lip, "I was going to tell you earlier."
I sat up straighter, "tell me what, Rick?"
"Jords, your Dad didn't make it..." I stared at him blankly. Rick shook his head sadly at me.
"I am so, so sorry, Jordan."
"Did you put him down?" I demanded, standing up from the seat. Our hands unlinked.
He nodded frantically, "of course, of course!" Rick stood up too.
I didn't cry. I couldn't cry.
"Is that all?" I questioned, trying to hold my shit together.
"You don't always have to be strong, Jords," he added sadly.
"I hardly knew the man, Rick. He wasn't there for me," I replied. I turned on my heel and walked to my house, alone. I did usually stay at Rick's house, but tonight. I just wanted to be alone. It wasn't that I wasn't sad that he gone. I was more so annoyed. Why didn't he try harder to stay alive? After everything, he died on a run.. A pathetic little run.
"Jordan, wait!" Rick called out, after me. I stopped, but didn't turn around. I could hear his footsteps run up to me. He stood in front of me, bending down a little.
"Don't shut me out, please..." he spoke quietly, looking into my eyes. I looked behind him, noticing everyone staring at something up the street.
"Oh fuck, Rick!" I exclaimed, staring at the tower. He turned around and looked at what everyone was now looking at.
"Shit.. Shit! C'mon!" He grabbed my hand and we both raced towards the tower as it started to fall towards Alexandria.
Everybody started screaming and running from the area.
"The wall's gonna break! We gotta get the hell out of here, Rick!" I yelled at him as he ushered people away.
That's when it happened. The tower fell into Alexandria, breaking the wall with it. I started coughing from the dust that rose from it. Rick pulled me along with him, he had his colt python in hand, shooting walkers nearby. There were hundreds, flooding into Alexandria.
"Rick! Jordan!" Deanna yelled.
"You need to get back!" Rick shot at a walker nearby, still pulling me along. Rick picked up a gun on the floor and threw it towards me. I turned the safety off. A Beretta 92FS. Fully loaded. Deanna followed us.
"We need to get back!" she retorted. She attempted to shoot at a walker, missing all three times. I quickly took aim, ending the walker's misery. She nodded at me, still following us. I let go of Rick's hand and followed closely behind. The way we moved reminded me of when we raided factories for drugs in Atlanta, before the dead started walking. Rick used the butt of his gun to kill a walker at close range. Deanna stepped in front of me, trying to push back a walker. Another one came up behind her. I shot the one from behind, I couldn't reach the other without shooting her.
They both fell.
Rick lifted her up and shot the walker. He glanced back at me, making sure I was still there and okay. I noticed the red stain forming on Deanna's shirt as I followed closely behind, shooting any walkers too close for comfort.
We ran onto the road, Rick helped Deanna as she limped along.
"Jordan!" Carl yelled out, sprinting up to us with Michonne, Ron and Gabriel.
"There!" Deanna pointed at incoming walkers. They cut us off. There were thousands here...
"Holy shit..." I grumbled.
A series of gunshots went off, giving us a path. Jessie.
"Quick! I have Judith!" she screamed at us. We all darted for her house. I kept a strong hold on Carl, pulling him along with me. We all got inside and slammed the door shut. We were safe for now.
I immediately turned to Carl.
"Are you okay? Bit? Scratched?" I spoke whilst checking his arms. He pushed my shaky hands away.
"I'm fine, Mom. Are you?" he questioned, looking at my hands and then towards Rick who was talking to Michonne. I sighed. I gave him a nod, not really knowing what to say.
"I have to go, stay here!" I patted him on the shoulder and ran upstairs, following Rick, Michonne and Jessie. I watched as Jessie ran into Sam's room. He looked terrified. Something was off about that kid...
I ran into the bedroom where Rick was with Deanna. I helped him place Deanna onto the bed without hurting her. I kneeled down and carefully lifted her shirt up.
A massive gash was causing all the blood. I sighed, thank god.
"Get me something to clean it with and towels!" I yelled out to whoever was nearby.
"You'll be okay, Deanna, I promise.. We'll be okay," I whispered to her, I was attempting to reassure her. She smiled up at the ceiling.
Jessie passed me some paper towels and rubbing alcohol to clean the wound. I was no doctor, but I did take many first aid courses. I was always furthering my training... Anything to keep me busy.
I started to clean the wound. It would have to be cleaned every so often to stop the chance of any infections. I noticed Deanna locked her jaw every time I touched the wound with the paper towel and rubbing alcohol. I chuckled, making her look at me.
"This is the worst part of injuring yourself," I smiled hopefully at her, "I'm almost done."
I turned around, sensing someone standing there.
"How is she?" Rick asked, panting slightly.
"No offence to your wife, but whatever she's doing hurts like a son of a bitch," Deanna bit her lip as I dabbed the wound once more. I glanced at Rick briefly when she said wife. He was already looking at me. I smiled shortly and turned back around to Deanna. I noticed the blood was still pooling onto the bed below. I gently moved her slightly away from me and that's when I saw it.
A bite.
Deanna pushed herself up to look at it, before falling back onto the bed.
"Well, shit."
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I decided to stay in the room with Deanna. She welcomed me here when I was alone and vulnerable -- also stupid. We got along pretty well.
"You gave plans to Rick.. I was looking over them a few days ago," I started, making Deanna turn her head to look at me. She was sweating already. The fever is what killed. It burns the person out. Literally.
"They could work," I commented, smiling hopefully.
"Even now?" Deanna questioned, furrowing her eyebrows.
"Even now," I confirmed.
"What was the latin that was written in the margins?" I questioned, wondering why it was there.
Deanna chuckled, "it was something Reg used to say when things got really, really bad."
"I'm lucky, Jordan.. Working with my family towards a better future is -- it's all I ever wanted. That's what I got. I got to do what I wanted, right up to the end... What do you want?" she said, smiling at the memories of this place.
"I want this place to be safe for all us, to work," I answered, suddenly becoming unsure of myself. What did I want from this place? A normal life? I hated my normal life. I couldn't live that way anymore. It was robotic. Get up. Work. Sleep. Repeat. I was always the person everyone came to when they needed to swap shifts or needed someone to take their shift. I was that person.
"What do you really want, Jordan?" she asked again, much more seriously.
I shook my head slowly, my eyes watered, "I don't know anymore..."
Suddenly, I heard a crash from downstairs. My eyes widened.
"I'll be back, Deanna!" I yelled as I ran down to the garage, Rick was hot on my tail, coming from the other side of the house.
"Carl! Carl! Open the goddamn door!" I screamed, trying to open it. Were they fighting?
"Ron!" Jessie yelled. I kicked the door as hard as I could, trying to break it open.
"Back up!" Rick yelled, pulling his axe out. I moved back and out of his way. Rick starting hitting away at the lock to break open the door. I could hear growling from inside... Walkers.
The door flung open, I saw Ron with a gun in his hand, he rushed inside the main part of the house. I grabbed Carl's hand, pulling him inside, just as the walkers broke in. Rick slammed the door shut behind us. We all automatically put our weight against the door. The door was now broken with hungry walkers on the other side.
"Watch out!" Rick yelled, moving a sofa against the door. I moved back into place, pushing against the couch with Carl.
"Get more furniture, we need to stay quiet!" I instructed everyone.
"You were fighting," I whispered quietly to Carl, he raised an eyebrow at me. Probably wondering how I knew.
"Don't tell," he whispered, not making eye contact. I didn't say whether I would or not.
"Get that gun," I whispered back, referring to Ron. He looked at me and gave me a firm nod.
Rick, Ron and Jessie were both back, Rick helped us push against the couch. I ignored them as both Carl and Ron told their bullshit story. Ron ran off and Carl followed shortly after. He was going to get the gun.
"I'm gonna see what the hold up is," Jessie spoke before running to find the others.
"Ron tried to kill Carl because of me," I muttered, digging my feet into the ground to stop myself from sliding.
"What? No, Ca-"
"Rick, he's lying to you. I killed his Dad, so Ron tried to kill Carl. They were fighting in there because of me," my eyes welled up with tears. Ron tried to kill him because of my actions. I blinked away the tears, looking away from Rick.
"It wasn't your fault. I would've killed him if you didn't," Rick replied after a short period of silence. I nodded and looked back at him. He was already staring at me. It was the first time in awhile that I noticed how tired he looked. It broke my heart. He did so much for all of us.. He never stopped.
"I love you, Rick," I said, a tear falling down my face. He smiled sadly.
"I love you too, Jords. We can do this. We still have hope."
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a/n: this chapter is split, I was originally going to carry on. I liked the way it ended. I hope y'all did too! By the way, #rickyl in that gif. (((;