Oh dang, not a ship. "Wait SmoshFanfics! There's only one name? What's going on?" Alas dear reader please read on and tell me if you like it and if I should do this more. If not, I'll keep doing what y'all want. Ships and such.
Titled: The Smosh Squad Band Of Liars
Alternatively: Lil' Noah
"Hey guys?" Ian opened the door to the squad's office, calling for everyone's attention with doubt in his voice.
"Yeah?" Shayne looked up. He was sitting on the couch with his laptop on his lap. Keith, Olivia and Courtney were pulling out their own headphones as they were also on their laptops.
"So remember when we asked Noah to do a science skit with us...and we got to visit a real lab?" Ian asked, keeping the door pressed against his side as he was obviously trying to hide something.
Anthony was heard outside. "Shh, stop that, this is a professional workspace," he whispered loudly.
"What about it?"
"What's going on?"
"Well Noah likes to explore and touch things he really shouldn't," Ian noted, looking back behind the door. Whispering words incoherent to the squad.
"Don't freak out or laugh...This isn't a joke, we need to ask you guys a favour," Ian said with his tone lighter than usual. Like a kid who bring a stray puppy home without his parent's approval.
Ian opened the door widely, letting Anthony walk in. Except, Anthony was carrying someone in his arms. A very...little someone.
"This is Noah...the science lab must've been working on something...extravagant. He's been babyfied. Luckily, his clothes were too," Anthony set the child down onto the floor. The toddler, Noah as they were saying looked up to everyone. Curiosity and wonder in his eyes. Also his finger in his mouth.
"Babyfied?" Shayne repeated, staring at Noah.
"Yes, and we don't exactly want to tell his parents because they might possibly file a lawsuit on us or the science lab which we don't think is a good idea. Can you watch him while we sort things out?" Ian asked.
"Also, here are his glasses, they don't fit his head. They must've fell off before they could shrink too," Anthony explained, giving the pair to Shayne, who inspected them.
"This can't be Noah," Keith stated. He pushed his chair between the desks and looked to the little guy. Who still hadn't moved, but instead watched everyone
"Keet!" Noah suddenly exclaimed, remembering who he was once he got a good look. Noah threw his arms up and ran to his chair. He tugged on his ripped jeans.
"Ayy, what is going on with his kid?" Keith lightly removed his little hands from his legs.
"Keet! Up! Up!" Noah jumped up and down on his spot, obviously wanting to get picked up. Keith instead looked to the girls and Shayne. Both Courtney and Olivia had stood up to the open area to watch the child and see him better.
"This is Noah alright," Shayne claimed, holding the glasses in the air. When Noah heard the statement, he looked back to whoever said it. He saw the other three people in the room. Quickly forgetting about his endeavour to get picked up, Noah ran to the couch where Shayne was sitting at. Though he stumbled in his steps and fell to the floor just before Shayne's legs.
In a few moments, everyone stared shocked. Unsure of how the toddler would react. Noah picked his head up, blinking his eyes. When he saw Shayne, then Courtney, then Olivia, then Keith all watching him, he bursted out crying.
Courtney was quick to react to the screaming kid in the room. She picked him up and coaxed him. Olivia was by her side.
"Can you believe his?" Shayne whispered to Keith across from him. The girl's began to coo to the toddler, who was calming down. Keith shook his head and looked to the closed door.
"They left!" Keith exclaimed, jumping from his seat. "They left us with a Noah-Child-Imposter!" Keith grabbed the sides of his hat, freaking out.
"Keith! You're going to scare Lil' Noah," Olivia hushed him quickly. Noah turned his head as Courtney held him. Looking for whoever made the outburst again.
"Keet?" Noah called. His tears stopped, though his face was still a bit red. With wide eyes, Keith shook his hands saying no as Courtney crept closer to him.
"Come on Keet," she grinned. "He wants you to hold him."
"No, that's weird! I'll be holding my 19 year old best friend!" Courtney gently handed Noah to him. Noah hummed as he wrapped his arms around his neck. Keith made a horrified, disgust face as he firmed his grasp around Noah's legs and lower back.
"Well today he's 2 years old," Courtney said, backing away.
Shayne was laughing away as he and Olivia took multiple pictures with their phones.
"No, no, no! Stop that!" Keith maneuvered Noah to hold with one arm and stuck his finger to the two.
However, the other three squad members kept laughing.
"Noah? Noah do you want Shayne to hold you instead?" Keith asked suddenly, looking for the toddler's eyes. Noah perked up.
"Sayne?" He tried to repeat.
"Yeah, do you want uncle Zayne to hold you instead?" Keith grinned, slowly nodding to the child. Noah immediately nodded his head exaggeratedly. Shayne looked horrified as Keith had before.
"No! Lil' Noah wants Courtney to hold him instead!" Shayne pointed to the latter, trying to change his little mind.
"Sit up Zayney, he wants you to hold him." Keith grinned devilishly as he roughly plopped Noah down on his lap. Making the child unintentionally kick his 'no-no' spot.
"Ow fuck!" Shayne exclaimed, as Noah leaned against Shayne's chest. He was as tall as Shayne was sitting down. Noah instantly went to poking at his scrunched face, then ran his sensitive fingers over his growing stubble. Intrigued by the unfamiliar texture.
"Keith!" Olivia cried.
"Shayne!" Courtney called.
"You can't toss him around, he's fragile," Olivia scolded.
"You're going to teach him the word fuck!" Courtney said to Shayne. She sat next to him.
"But you just shouted it. And he already knows it. He's not really 2 years old," Shayne shifted Noah in his arms so he can explore his face more comfortably, and not exactly in his way.
Keith didn't reply to Olivia, instead taking pictures of Shayne and Noah as Shayne did to him previously.
"Zayney," Noah babbled as he poked Shayne's cheek and grazed his right
eyebrow. Shayne tried to shake his head and get his roaming hands off of him.
"Aww come on Zayney, he's curious," Courtney smiled cheekily, poking his other cheek.
"Well he shouldn't be. He's already 19. Shouldn't he be speaking in full sentences? Or did he forget it all when he was babyfied?" Shayne asked, annoyed. He grabbed under Noah's arms and lifted him up to fully get his hands off of his face. The action made Noah burst into giggles and stick his arms out like a plane. "Wee!" He shrieked.
"I guess not. He fell before, so maybe it did fully babyfy him. His coordination is off," Courtney noted. Shayne smiled as he stood up to handle Noah better. Lifting Noah up and around in the air. The room was full of glee and squeals.
"He was such a cute baby," Olivia chuckled to Courtney. She nodded as she took out her phone to snap pictures of Noah and Shayne's playful interactions.
In another minute, Shayne set Noah back down on the floor. He spun around in his spot, taking in the room fully. He smiled sheepishly to Keith and spun back to the couch.
"Hey Lil' Noah." Courtney waved. Noah smiled instantly, remembering her as well. He ran off towards her and made it to her knees without falling.
"Up!" Noah commanded, to which she obliged. She held him correctly, as opposed to Shayne and Keith.
"Say my name, Noah," Courtney, jigging her legs to make him bounce a bit. He squealed as well.
"Courty!" Noah shouted. He held Courtney's hands as she continued to bounce him in her knees.
"Courty," Shayne chuckled.
"He pronounced it better than yours. Zayney," Courtney said, though she said it as if she were talking to Noah.
Shayne thought for a second before leaning closer into Noah's line of view.
"Her name's Corny, Noah, say Corny," Shayne tried to teach. Courtney lightly elbowed his arm, as her hands were still holding Noah's. The latter looked curiously to Shayne.
"Corny?" He repeated slowly.
"Yeah!" Shayne said with fake excitement.
"No!" Courtney said, though still smiling. Noah repeated that version of her name over and over again as Courtney jigged her leg again. She shot a joking glare to the man beside her before playing with Noah again.
"How do you think we're going to change him back?" Keith whispered to Olivia. They spoke lowly and watched the three squad members on the couch.
"Magic or prayer," Olivia joked, acting serious. Keith sighed.
"He called me Keet. Can you believe that?" Keith changed the subject.
"Yeah. And my name's more complicated, so he's going to mess it up the most," Olivia said dramatically.
"Can't be worse than Zayney," Keith smiled.
"Hey Lil' Noah, you want uncle Keith and aunt Olivia again?" Courtney said wondrously, picking him and facing him to their direction.
"Oh no, don't call me uncle Keith. That's weird!" Keith exclaimed.
"Keet!" Noah called. He also took a good look at Olivia, before trying to form her name with his mouth before saying it.
"Here it comes," Olivia held her breath.
"O-Liv-a?" Noah said hesitantly.
"Wait that was really close," Olivia furrowed her brows. Keith nodded when she glanced to him unsurely.
"Well now we know who Noah favours," Shayne nudged Courtney, winking. Courtney nudged him back and winked to Olivia. The girl sort of blushed in her cheeks.
"He is like 2 years old!" Olivia stumbled, picking him up when he ran to her, holding his arms up.
"But he won't be forever," Courtney teased, pretending to whisper though saying it loud enough for her to hear.
Keith, Courtney and Shayne all laughed, making Olivia blush even more.
"Come on guys. What-What time do toddlers nap? 2ish? He should go down for a nap," Olivia changed the subject. She motioned to the boy who laid his head on her shoulder as she held him. Obviously getting tired.
"Where should he sleep?" Keith asked, standing up.
"The couch?" Shayne suggested, pointed to the cushion he was on.
"It's too narrow, he might fall off," Courtney said, patting it down.
"Is it time for naps?" Keith asked, using a ridiculous tone. He went behind Olivia, into Noah's line of view, though bending down a bit.
When Noah heard nap time, he began to fuss.
The four members sat with their backs against the front of the couch. Each as distraught as they looked.
Noah slept soundly behind them, wrapped in Keith's jacket. He looked peaceful, contrary to the four.
Shayne's hair stuck up and poofed. Courtney's hair had plenty of tangles, and scratches on her arm. Olivia's shirt was stretched and her hair fell into her face. Keith looked more fine. Except he didn't have a jacket or hat on anymore and his legs and torso was sore.
Courtney's laptop was sitting in front of them, playing a lullaby song from YouTube all through the room.
There was a small knock at the door, which made all four members nervous.
"Hey guys, having fun?" Ian asked as he opened the door and peeked in. In response, all four squad members shushed him, pointing to little sleeping Noah.
"You all look good," Anthony teased, walking in behind Ian.
Noah stirred a little, turning his head to face the backrest. Everyone but Ian and Anthony watched in fear because he hadn't been sleeping long and they'd rather him rest for another hour or so.
"So what're you going to do about telling his parents?"
"Do you have his phone? We can text his parents pretending to be him and say he's going to stay at someone else's place until we get him fixed," Shayne suggested.
"We can take care of that, but who's he going to stay with?"
"Why don't we all stay at someone's place to take care of him together?"
"That sounds cool."
Ian and Anthony left later for filming. Which reminded the squad they'll also have to film as well.
"I don't think we're all going to be busy simultaneously, we can take turns," Olivia said. They agreed to that.
"What about lunch?" Shayne said worriedly.
"Do we need baby food?"
"He's like 3 years old. No we don't need baby food."
"We're getting pizza, let's just cut it up and cool it off for him."
"He's probably just as picky as before."
Noah started to stir again so the four went back to their original positions, pressing their backs against the front of the couch to provide a safe guard.
They each pulled up their laptops to work on the floor. Courtney still played the lullaby as she worked.
Soon the squad members were yawning, and rubbing their eyes.
"Corny?" A little voice asked. Suddenly the back of Courtney's head was lightly kicked as she leaned it on Shayne's shoulder.
"Look who's awake," Keith was the first to get to the toddler.
"He kicked me-"
The door flung open as Sunny peeked in.
"I hope you're all ready to film in 5- Oh who is this?" He started to say. Noah looked up, trying to see properly.
"This is...Andrew," Keith lied. He was unsure if Ian and Anthony wanted to go off telling people that Noah got, babyfied.
"Andrew? What's he doing here?" Sunny moved a bit closer.
"It's...We thought we can utilize his presence, because my cousin is in town for a job," Shayne came up with on the spot. "Needed a babysitter and I asked if he can play a role in the...EBE."
"That makes sense. Where's Noah?"
"He wasn't feeling good, he went home. Andrew can take his part right? Noah wouldn't have been a very good baby actor anyway," Courtney added. Sunny chuckled. He went up and kneeled in front of the child.
"He reminds me of Everest. Maybe they can meet if he's in town long enough."
"S'nee?" Noah asked wondrously. He poked his finger to his cheek.
"He knows my name?" Sunny asked, smiling to the kid before looking up.
"Uhh, we said your name didn't we Sunny? He's probably just copying us, he does that, right Corny?" Olivia asked, emphasizing both names.
"Hi Andrew," Sunny waved to Noah who was smiling crazily to his favourite producer. The rest of the Smosh Squad banded together when they stood up behind Sunny.
"Andrew?" Courtney whispered to Keith.
"His middle name," he justified.
"That makes sense. Good job guys." Shayne gave a small high five to his friends.
"The Smosh Squad, band of liars," Keith added. They chuckled together as Sunny stood up.
"Alright then guys, if you can get him ready for shooting," Sunny smiled to them before leaving.
"S'nee? Gone?" Noah quavered as they all either sat or kneeled beside him.
"You're gonna' go on an adventure with us and see him again. Sound good?" Courtney sat next to him, making him crane us neck to see her face.
"A-ven-tur?" Noah tried to say.
"Yeah," Courtney tickled his side.
"Shouldn't he be speaking at least more key words? Don't toddler's do that at 2 years?" Shayne asked, crossing his arms.
"He might be just a late bloomer," Courtney answered.
"I can't wait until we get him back so we can tell him what he was like."
"Wait, it was very unlikely at all that some science lab had a babyfier, what if we can't get him back?" Olivia worried.
"No, we'll get him back."
Olivia held his hand as they all walked down to the studio. Noah had his other finger in his mouth as he looked at all the different people in the large building.
They were too far for him to recognize anyone because he still didn't have his glasses.
Noah stopped slowly, making everyone stop as well to watch him. He looked a bit worried.
"Noah?"
"Something wrong?"
Noah looked to the squad members, letting go of Olivia's hand. "Up! Keet! Up!" He ran to his best friend and flailing his arms up.
Everyone sighed in relief. Keith kneeled instead.
"Say 'pick me up' instead Noah, speak sentences," Keith tried to explain. Noah looked at him, no further expressions.
"Say pick me up please," Shayne kneeled beside Keith. The toddler whispered the work pick, trying to piece it all together.
"Pick me up Keithy," Courtney joined.
"Say please."
"Peese?" Noah whispered.
Keith held his arms out, prompting the little boy.
"Peese pick up Keet," Noah finally said. The squad cheered the little boy as Keith picked him up.
"We should run a daycare because we're so good with kids," Keith fist bumped Shayne as he held Noah with one arm.
"Yeah, videos on one side, daycare on the other," Shayne chuckled. Keith's suggested made them laugh.
When they arrived at the studio, a few behind the scenes cast were either confused or playing with little Noah. Shayne explained their little story about Andrew. They thought it was genius to get a real toddler to play a part in their Every Blank Ever.
Every Baby Ever. A toddler would fit in fine.
"Okay, Noah, we're all going to be right back okay? Sunny's going to watch you for just a few minutes play?" Courtney explained to him before they all left. Noah understood most of her words.
"S'nee?"
"Yes, Sunny. Can you say that? Sun-nee?"
Noah hummed straightforward.
"Say S'nee!" Noah said, starting to shout.
"Okay Noah, I'm sorry. Okay, here he is, I'll be right back," Courtney whispered his name. She waved to him as Sunny walked into their dressing room.
"Hey Andrew, are you going to be in our youtube video today?" Sunny asked, speaking excitedly.
"S'nee? Oo-too?" Noah tried to repeat.
"Yeah, you're speaking lots huh?" Sunny sat be right to him on the couch. Noah hummed a mhmm, making Sunny laugh lightly.
"Corny? Keet?" Noah wanted to ask where they were. He knew she said she'll be right back but he wanted to know where they were.
"They're just getting their costumes on and starting the video, okay?"
Shayne ran inside the room, wearing just a different set of clothes.
"They're starting the BTS. Andrew, do you want to change into a costume?" Shayne asked to Noah.
"N'dru?" Noah repeated, confused.
"Do you want to come see everyone and play on set?" Shayne tried to change the subject. Sunny waved as he left the room.
"Set?"
"Yeah, you can see Keith, and Olivia, and Courtney all in funny costumes. They look like babies," Shayne teased, lightly jabbing Noah's side. Making him laugh.
"Go set."
"Alright bud, let's go get you ready," Shayne grabbed Noah's hand as he inched forward off of the couch.
Part 1 complete.
Should I continue?
Also it's my birthday so I was definitely trying to get a few publishes out for you all. Have a great day and great night!