Chapter 27- Endless Footfalls
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It felt endless...
Feeling the thumps of Rangel's footfalls, the impact of every quick step causing me to bounce up and down in his strong hold.
I was slowly losing hope as the farther Rangel ran into the forest, no clearing visible in the thickness of the trees.
Pains of the baby kicking me was no help as he was very unpleased with the bouncing around happening, causing me to want to throw up and curl into a ball.
Most mothers would be excited to feel their babies kick, the smiles on their faces as they holler for their husbands.
Hurrying, the husbands would run to place their hands on their wife's belly to feel the life thriving inside....
But that was completely opposite for me. I didn't want Rangel to have to feel this baby, let alone ever have to hold it or father it later on. I didn't want this burden to cause greater problems as it was already causing more and more as the months stretched on. I'm surprised he even wants to drag my slutty ass through this damn forest...-
"Estelle, I think we've lost them for a little while," Rangel breaths rapidly, laying me in the long grass as he hunched over and hyperventilated.
"Rang, are you going to be okay?" I question with concern.
He smiles to me.
"Of course," he inhales, "I'd carry you to hell and back if that's what it takes for us to be free together."
Feeling ashamed for him to say those words to me, I don't respond or look back into his eyes. Instead, I look up to the many branches looming above blocking out the sun.
I don't deserve to look into his eyes or even be here for that matter. He's too good for me, he deserves to be with a girl who actually will strongly be in the relationship with him and not sleep with another guy.
I truly belong to be used for the Alpha's needs.
A tear streams my cheek, then another and another...
Rangel comes and sits in the grass next to me, pulling me close in his lap until I laid against his chest. Rocking me, he wipes the tears away with his thumb.
"Don't worry, Es," he murmurs,"I'll get us home soon."
He places his other hand on my belly and that's when I stand up from his lap.
"Rangel, I can't let you accept me like this," I tell him. Tears were still wetting my rosy cheeks as I looked at him stand up to me and gaze down upon me.
"Estelle, I'll always accept you," he reassures me,"I love you."
"Don't say that," I say,"I don't deserve to be hearing that from you."
He kneels and hugs my waist, pressing his ear to my belly.
"Of course you deserve to hear those every words," Rangel tells me,"I love the baby you carry along with you. I love every part of you, and don't you ever think otherwise."
I pull away from him and scream, punching my stomach with loud sobs, "No, no, n-"
Rangel grabs my fists and my strength was easily overpowered by his as he laid me in the grass and climbed on top of me.
Rocking side to side in fits, Rangel holds me still until I remain fully calm and look into his eyes with my swollen watery ones.
"Es, when will you realize that you're the one for me and I don't want no other girl to be with me?" Rangel questions,"I'd die for your safety and freedom. You mean the world to me."
"You aren't raising this baby," I simply say to him,"I'll kill it myself before you even put your hands on it."
"He has a name," Rangel says,"You're not killing our Tate."
I sob once again, grabbing Rangel's shoulders and hugging him tight, his weight pressing down on me.
"Es, I understand that you don't want this child," Rangel tells me after a moment,"But you need to learn how to own up to your mistakes rather then crying about them."
I push him off me and stand to my wobbly feet, grabbing a tree to steady myself as the dizziness swam over me and my stomach turned and kicked.
Ignoring the pains, I look to Rangel.
"I can't own up to a mistake like this," I admit pathetically,"Rang, he's going to grow up to be a mistake and look like a-"
"Estelle, you're over thinking this," Rangel interrupts,"He'll be the finest baby and look just like you."
"I let Leon put this parasite in my body and now when he's born, he won't even be half werewolf-" I cry out, falling to the grass to feel my water break. My insides contract and I shriek, causing Rangel to put a hand over my mouth to quiet me.
"Shit, this is not the time," Rangel swears. "Bloody hell..."
"Over there!" A guard hollers,"I heard something in that direction!"
Rangel's eyes turn wild and crazed in alertness.
"Es, I promise you that you're going to be okay," he reassures,"Be my strong girl that you are."
With that, he cradles me and runs off farther into the trees.
"They couldn't of gotten far!" Another guard hollers to the rest,"They have to be around here somewhere!"
Feeling my water flowing, I ball my fists into Rangel's T-shirt and grit my teeth in agony with the twisting pain that came constantly.
His heart was thumping so quickly due to his adrenaline that it comforted me as I pressed my head to his chest and listened to the beautiful song.
"I see footsteps over here!" The same guard yells.
Rangel's heart thumps even quicker, his footfalls becoming faster as he made confusing twists and turns to loose their tracking.
Feeling another contraction, I wrap my arms around Rangel and wail into his chest to silence my suffering.
The baby was coming quick.
Rangel thankfully finds a tucked away grassy area that wasn't the best hidden away spot, but there was no other choice since the baby was here.
He lays me in the grass and removes my jeans.
"Hold my hand," Rangel orders me.
Obeying, I take his big hand in mine and he places his lips to mine to give me a quick sweet kiss before placing his other hand over my mouth to quiet me.
"I love you," he tells me softly.
Breathing rapid breaths, I feel a sweat break loose as I prepare myself for the next contraction.
Rangel looked worried and nervous as he had no idea how to deliver a baby.
But if it was anybody delivering my baby at this moment, I'd want it to be him and not the nurse back at camp.
Screaming with tears due to pain welling in my eyes, I push with sweat rolling down my temples.
Gritting my teeth, I push again with myself quickly breathing as the pain worsened and struck my lower stomach...
The baby wasn't budging outwards as he should be... The pain was inhumane...
Rangel takes his hand off my mouth for a second and I gaze at him.
"Rang....I...can't," I breathlessly say, not being able to explain what was happening.
"Yes you can," he sternly tells me.
He places his hand over my mouth as I scream again, tears now streaming my cheeks as I felt the contractions morphing my abdomen.
The baby was still unmoving as I pushed...
I bite Rangel's hand in agony and he swears but still holds it there as I wailed and cried.
"Is there anything I can do?" Rangel asks, his face showing pain from seeing me suffer.
He takes his hand off my mouth and I take in a deep, shuddering breath.
"Kiss me," I breathe, wanting the feel his lips on mine with his familiar sweet taste that I was addicted to.
Rangel didn't need to be told twice, he leaned down and kissed me so deeply at first that I gasped. His tongue surfed my mouth before he sucked at my collarbones, causing my toes to curl.
He sits up quickly and places his hand over my mouth when I go to scream again.
My whole lower body felt as if it was going to split apart due to the pain I was experiencing... The ripping pain cutting at me as I screamed and cried.
"Rang, I fear something is wrong," I get out, after pulling his hand off my mouth. The contractions have calmed for a moment for me to take a breath.
"You're fine," Rangel assures,"As long as I'm here to watch over you and deliver this baby, nothing wrong is going to happen."
"No, I don't think this is how-" I scream, the pain splitting down my whole spine with rippling pain in my stomach.
"The baby-" I shriek, "Its-Its-"
I couldn't get the rest of the words out as I breathed and wailed. My stomach was quickly rising and falling, sweat covering my whole body.
Rangel leans on top of me and reaches inside of me, knowing what I meant.
Feeling his hand searching for the baby, I grit my teeth and groan.
I wasn't hidden... Nothing part of my body is a hidden secret anymore to Rangel. I remember when he was excited to undress me for the first time or to even kiss me...
"Rang, if I don't make it-" I start.
"Estelle, don't talk that nonsense," he tells me, grabbing the baby inside of me to start pulling outwards.
I scream when I feel him straining to pull the baby free, blood flowing from me as he tore my insides.
"You're going to harm the baby!" I belt out, throwing my head back and arching my back.
"I need this baby out of you, I don't care what happens to it," Rangel says.
Head spinning faster and faster, his words become a ramble in my head as I slowly bled out...
Feeling weightless, I suddenly don't feel pain anymore... Everything was black until I saw myself floating over my own body.
Peace swam over me, a bright light shining onto me when I looked up.
"Estelle, is that you?" I hear a voice from above, a bright shining figure illuminating down before me.
The girl was in a white sundress, her face and hair delicate and fair just as I remembered...
It was my older sister Lily.
She appeared older as did I, her beauty always striking me with her pure soft skin and tall stature.
"Lily," I murmur, "How are you here?"
"Life really is hell, sister," she tells me, laughing, "I had it no better than you in that damn house."
I look at her, the pain still etched onto her face.. The peacefulness here wasn't enough to ease her restfulness.
"Oh have you grown older and beautiful, Estelle," she says, "Just as I have imagined."
"Lily, what did they do to you?" I question sternly, ignoring her attempt to avoid the conversation.
She sighs and gazes at me for seconds before placing her hands in her lap.
"After they sent you off, they had no one else to blame for their terrible lives," she explains with a sigh, "They started drinking and smoking heavily, the whole house smelling of liquor. We became poor since mom and dad had been fired from their jobs, due to showing up to work stoned and heavily drunk everyday."
I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer as we both sat on the bright illuminating light.
"I would get suspended from school days at a time for smelling like liquor and drugs constantly and was accused of using them on school grounds and carrying it," she says, "I had lost my education and had nearly a house to live at after you've gone. It had broken down, the electricity and plumbing had not worked anymore since they couldn't pay for either."
The pain etched onto her face worsened and tears fell from her cheeks.
"They beat me under the influence, saying I was the reason we were poor," she weeps, "They grabbed Adam and always beat him until he was no longer conscious. He had tried to run away one night and had only been dragged back to our house to be chained in the attic, the chains making a constant scrapping noise in the ceiling as he moved."
She took in a deep shuddering breath and continued,"Up there he starved and had become unable to move due to his weakness. I'd go up there with the little scraps we had left, always getting caught with a knife pointed towards me-"
"Lily, you don't have to continue," I tell her.
"No, you really should know," she assures.
Squeezing her in a tighter hug, she smiles slightly with tears still falling.
"They had started trying to take blows to me with the knife, but I'd always dodge it and run to the bathroom and look at my haggard clothes and bruised face. I'd grab the pill bottles and put them in my mouth, five at a time," she tells me, "But never did I swallow them, I would spit them in the sink and leave, a pile of pills in the drain, hoping that the residue in my mouth would be enough to kill me. But I thought I'd have to stay strong for Adam, that I could get us both out of there somehow."
She claps her hands tighter together and shakes slightly.
"I've never been too good at staying strong, I dragged razors up and down my body, scarring myself beyond belief," she says, "It was then I realized there was no going back and the scars would always be there even if I lived through my pain, covering the floors in my own blood."
"I'm so sorry, Lily," I murmur, pulling her head to my chest as she wept harder.
"I found Adam's starved skeleton in the attic not too long after that, his mouth and eyes wide open, he had died by himself in his own suffering," she weeps, "Calling the police would always result in more beatings, so I closed his eyes and grabbed the razor out of my pocket to make more slits in my thigh, making more slits in my only pair of jeans that I had at the time."
She looks to me, her tears drying up as she stiffened in my arms.
"They had found him and threw his body in the woods. I had tried to go back and find his body to bury him in the garden, but got knocked in the back of the head with my own shovel, waking up in my own bed with chains around my ankles and my wrists," she explains farther,"They had said they didn't want me out of the house ever again."
She blew out a breath, holding up a finger when she choked on a sob.
"I laid there for a month, sister," Lily looked to me. "Unable to move, I was conscious physically, but not mentally as I was not in reality anymore."
Lily grabs one of my hands with her smaller ones, looking down at it as she sucked in a breath.
"Mom and dad came into the room one day, they looked even more drunk than usual," she tells me, "They were both holding a long knife as they told me how much of a waste I was to them and how worthless I was. Mom said I wasn't worth the pain to have me, and dad said that I was a whore and a piece of shit that wasted his money and time. They both brought up their knives to my cheeks, dragging the rough edge over my skin, blood blooming."
Lily gritted her teeth...
"And that's when they murdered me alive, slowly and painfully as they told me how much they hated me," she sobbed,"Gnawing words, the rough grinding sound of my skin tearing as I arched in my restraints screaming-"
"Lily, that's enough," I tell her. "Life always goes on, and you're at peace now."
"Oh, have I missed you ever so much," she grins through her tears. "I love you, lil' sis."
"Not as much as I've missed you, big sis," I smile, showing her the necklace I still have from her,"I love you too, forever and always."
We squeezed in a hug and we both starting weeping over each other's shoulders.
"Our lives were not even worth living," she points out to me.
We look down on my hollow body which Rangel was laying over, sobbing with the baby shrieking and twisting on the ground beside him.
He didn't have a care of the baby, all that he was doing was shaking me violently and weeping.
"Our lives were complete shit, sis," I agree, staring blankly down at the scene.
She turns and looks at me.
"But we are with each other now," I smile.
"I wouldn't ask for anything more," she smiles back, grabbing my hand.
We both rise, the light growing brighter and warmth filled me with the feeling of... comfort.... something I haven't experienced in a long while.
We held hands, taking our first stride to the light-
Blackness filled my vision.
I feel a shake and a smack then extreme pain in my lower abdomen...
"Estelle," I hear.
Unable to move, I feel another shake and then a tight squeeze around my shoulders and chest.
"Come back to me," I hear his voice muffled against me.
Trying to open my eyes or move even a finger wasn't allowing me when I tried...
Was I even alive?
Another smack and a cold wet sensation on my cheek...
A tear.
More and more tears fell upon my face, until I no longer felt his warmth near my body.
Did Rangel leave me?
"Shh, Tate, daddy's got you," he wept. "I'll take good care of you just as mommy would have wanted."
Hearing those words melted my heart and I felt a smile etch over my lips suddenly.
I wrinkled my nose and squeezed my eyelids.
"Estelle?" Rangel questions, rushing over and leaning on me.
I muster up enough energy to crack open my eyes.
"Rang," I rasp.
I open my eyes farther and he was holding Tate with one arm and a relieved expression on his face.
He pressed a kiss to my lips so quick that I didn't even have time to comprehend what was going on.
Wrapping my arms around him, I kiss him back slightly, half missing my sister up in heaven... Here I thought she was going to grow old and be a brain surgeon and become rich-
"What's wrong?" He pulls away, looking into my lazy eyes.
"I was actually gone, Rang," I say, blaming my sadness on something else instead of Lily, "I saw my body from above."
"And.. Why does that upset you if you're back with me?" He questions.
I took in a deep breath.
"For another time," I reckon.
"Well whatever is bothering you, I'm just glad you're back in my arms," he tells me, stroking my messy hair.
Going back to kiss me again, I let him and allow his lips slip between mine like a missing puzzle piece that has been gone for years.
"I thought that bastard killed you," he grumbles against my lips, kissing me harder,"I would have strangled him to death."
I kiss him harder, pulling him closer by his hair which always made him groan to my pleasure-
Tate cries since he was being smashed between us. Rangel pulls back and rolls his eyes.
"Don't give me that," I say to him,"You called yourself daddy to him earlier."
"I never would do such a horrendous thing," he sternly replies, standing tall and pulling me into his arms, "Let's try to get home once more, shall we?"
"I'd really like that," I sigh with a slow forming smile,"Wherever that may be."
Rangel looks to me seriously,"You are my home, Estelle Edwards. Wherever we end up is not a bother."
Rangel puts bloody Tate in my arms and then starts to carry me farther into the forest. He must have cute the cord when he got him out of me.
Tate's poof of black hair was a mess on top of his head and his pale skin was illuminating in the light where there wasn't blood. He looks up at me with his green eyes tiredly and I pull him closer to my chest...
He was a complete mini version of Leon. I saw no features of myself on him, he even got his thin nose and round face.
In ways seeing his features once again almost made me sympathetic as if I almost missed him. But I was off to start my real life with my soulmate that I truly loved.
I was off to finally start a better life. If it wasn't Lily that was going to have a good life, it was going to have to be me and she'd be proud that one of us can live to our fullest.