This chapter was something really different to anything I've written, So I'm sorry for the delay! I try and upload as soon as I can but sometimes it gets hectic with school and GCSE'S!
I hope you liike this chapter, it's a bit sad but yeah still hope you like it!
PLease leave your opinions behind!
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"What the fuck do you mean? What did you do to her, you asshole?" Zane yelled.
"I thought about what you said, Maya, she deserves better. I wanted to start afresh… so… so - I told her everything - the truth," Tyler choked out.
"You’re so stupid," I whispered.
"We haven't got time for you to insult me right now; I know how stupid I am, but she'll only listen to you, Maya. She's refusing to be treated, please babe, not for me, for her, come to the hospital, talk to her," he begged.
"I-I hate you so much," I sobbed, trying to threaten him. "If anything happens to her, I won't spare you," I cried, as Zane pulled me into him.
**
"Kenzie…" I whispered pulling her fragile body into a hug. "Y-your wrists," I sobbed, her wrists were covered in deep cuts and she looked away in shame at my words.
"I loved him so much, Maya, I feel so broken," she croaked.
"He's a dick head, why are you harming yourself over him?" I asked softly picking up her wrists again, staring into those deep cuts which will forever be a reminder of what we were going through right now.
"You don't know what it feels like, I gave him everything I had, Maya and all he gave me was betrayal. I haven't got the courage to face anyone anymore. I argued against you and Zane because I was so stupid and got caught up in his words. I even nearly told Zane the truth about how you feel about him, I blew your chances - Why me? I’m so sorry…" She sobbed pressing her head into her palms.
"All that matters is that you know the truth now and you know who you can trust, you have to promise me that you'll stop all this, he’s not worth it," I pleaded. “Zane and I always have your back, you should know that."
"I do know that. I've done so much shit in my life, Maya and Tyler just pushed me
over the edge - Fifty Two girls… Fifty-fucking-two!" She whispered painfully in between sobs.
"Please tell Zane how you feel?" She begged me, locking her gaze with mine, I held her gaze while holding back my tears. "He loves you so much, Maya. He won't say anything until you do. For your best friend, for your dying best friend, please," she added causing me to clasp my hand over her mouth as I shook my head.
"KENZIE! Don't you dare say that! There's nothing wrong with you. You’re going to be home in a couple of hours and everything will go back to normal. Why are you letting one guy ruin the rest of your life?" I whispered urgently. She pulled me into a hug and we sat there for ages, on her hospital bed, just crying in each other’s arms until Zane came by.
“Maya! Kenzie!” Zane exclaimed from the doorway before he ran over and wrapped his arms around both of us.
"I'm sorry, Zane," Kenzie wept.
"Stop crying!" he instructed.
"I can't! My heart feels like it’s been ripped up into tiny shreds, it aches so much. What did I do wrong? I tried to be the perfect girlfriend, I cancelled plans with friends just too be with him- I did everything I could-" She broke off into a fit of hysterics.
"I-I-" A voice stuttered from the doorway, our heads flew up simultaneously to find that the source of the voice was none other than Tyler. He was crying as he walked over to us. "I love you so much Kenz, I don't know what came over me. When I was with all those other girls, you were the only on my mind the whole time. I know I've hurt you and I -I don't know what to do!" he whispered.
"Make him go away, please Zane," She begged.
"This is what you wanted isn't it, asshole? Happy yet?" Zane spat bitterly.
"Leave it," I whispered placing my hand on his leg.
"Tell him you love him!" Kenzie mouthed.
"NO!" I mouthed back, my eyes widening.
"Alright, McKenzie you should be getting some rest, visiting hours are over," the doctor stated as he walked in and saw us.
"Take care of yourself, okay?" I whispered to Kenzie, getting up slowly.
"I will," she smiled. "I love you, Maya," she grinned naughtily as I was almost out the door, I turned around and I smiled back at her.
"Love you too, Kenz."
**
Kenzie had to be kept in hospital for a week after that, and finally, she was being discharged tomorrow and I couldn't wait to see her properly. I was nervous about seeing her though, I'd gone back one night to visit her and she'd once again pleaded with me to tell Zane about my feelings for him. I'd promised her that I would and I knew the first thing she’d ask me when we saw each other was if I’d done as I’d promised.
Zane and Hope were so happy though, I couldn't take Zane away from Hope just because I wanted too, that wasn't how it should work - if we were meant to be together it will work out in the end. After hearing Hope's story; how strong she was, how she'd only recently come to terms with the death of her daughter's father; I couldn't take the only other man she cared for in her life away, no matter how much I loved him.
Tyler had stopped speaking to us... alright, that was a lie. Zane had threatened to call the police and tell them how Tyler was the reason for Kenzie harming herself if he ever spoke to us again, so he'd stopped speaking to us. So now, instead of six there was the four of us; Noah, who Zane even now had a grudge against, and Me, and Hope and Zane.
"We should throw a coming home party for Kenzie!" Hope exclaimed from across the table, it was after school on Friday and the four of us were sitting in a booth at a cafe, just chilling.
“We should,” Zane grinned looking lovingly into her eyes. I looked away uncomfortably and Noah wrapped his arms around my neck, pressing his soft lips too mine.
"I love you so much, beautiful," he mumbled into my lips, sending a million electric sparks through my body.
"I know," I teased with a grin as he laughed his deep sexy laugh and I enjoyed the feel of it echoing through my ears. “Anyways!” I chuckled, pushing Noah off me, only to see Zane and Hope deep in a make-out session. My heart felt like it had dropped into the pits of my stomach, this was torture. No matter how much I tried, seeing Zane happy with another girl was something I couldn't get myself used to.
"Are you alright?" Noah whispered loosely draping his arm around my shoulder, as I managed to nod and smeared a fake smile across my face. “Do you wanna go for a walk or something?” He offered.
“No, it’s alright...” I started, then looking back over at Zane and Hope, still kissing; I realized that maybe a walk wasn’t a bad idea. “Actually, can we?” I asked.
He chuckled nodding. We didn’t bother trying to tell the two lovebirds that we were leaving; it wasn’t like our presence made any difference to them at this point. “Beach?” he asked, thrusting his hands into his trouser pockets as I nodded in assent.
“Do you want to take a break?” he asked, breaking the awkward silence. I turned to face him with my face crumpled in confusion.
“Are you breaking up with me?” I asked quietly and he quickly shook his head, a small smile forming on his face.
“No!” he exclaimed.
But his smile soon faded away and he opened his mouth to speak again. “Why don’t you tell him you’re in love with him?” he asked in a sad tone.
I knew exactly who he was talking about, but I wasn’t ready to accept that it was so obvious. “W-Who?” I stuttered.
“Zane,” he answered.
“I-I-He – Hope,” I managed to choke out. But he cut me off before I could fumble over any other lame excuses.
“I’m going to be completely honest with you, Maya. I’m deeply in love with you. I never thought any girl could make me feel the way you do and it aches to know that you love Zane and not me, and don’t try to deny it... Anyone can tell from the way you look at him that there’s nothing more you could want from life if you had him. I’m not forcing anything on you but maybe a break for a couple of days would be good, not for me, but for you to sort your feelings out. No matter how much I love you, I don’t want to be your second choice,” he explained softly. “Feel this,” he said, taking my hand and placing it on his heart. “Every beat is for you, Maya, I love you so god damn much,” he breathed, the steady Thump-Thump of his heart made me swallow from the guilt building in my chest.
“I-I don’t know what to do,” I whispered as the tears I’d been holding throughout his confession suddenly flooded out. He put a finger to my lips and pulled me into his chest. “Zane - I love him so much, Noah. He loves Hope and it aches so much watching the two of them together, I miss when it was just me and him. I’ve tried dropping hints, I’ve done everything I could possibly think of but he just doesn’t get the message. I’m nothing more than his best friend even though I want so much to be his girlfriend,” I ranted before screaming into his shirt. “Noah you’ve been amazing, but you’re right, I can’t live a life of lies – it isn’t working. I don’t want to get your hopes up, you’re an amazing guy and any girl would be so lucky to have such a sweet, caring boyfriend like you, but it seems that that girl is just not me,” I finished, pulling away from him feeling guilt infuse every part of my body, I didn’t have the courage to look him in the eyes.
He looked like he had tears in his eyes. “Alright Maya, I hope we can still be mates,” he replied quickly before trying to make a swift exit.
I grabbed his wrist turning him back around. “Please don’t be mad, Noah, it’s not you, it’s me. I have no one, Kenzie’s in hospital, Tyler still blackmails me, Zane’s totally oblivious to the fact that I have feelings for him and Hope has been through so much in her life, taking Zane from her isn’t right,” I whispered.
“The problem with you is that you put others before yourself too damn much, if you love something, fight for it with as much as you’ve got, don’t give up because the sacrifice seems too much. I sacrificed my popularity to be with you, didn’t I?” he stated and quickly looked away once he realised what he’d said.
“Noah, you don’t understand, when Zane’s with me it feels like I’ve found the reason that I’m on earth, he makes me feel so amazing. But what hurts so much is that he’ll never know how I feel about him because he’s in love with Hope. He was in my room the other day and the way he talks about her makes me want to rip my heart out and end my life,” I sobbed.
“Why do you want to hurt yourself? You can have any guy you want, Maya, you should see how some of the guys in our school look at you.”
“It’s not about who wants me, it’s about me never being able to get what I want,” I replied.
“If you love him that much, Maya, you have to fight for him. Even if you have to go to the extreme of breaking Zane and Hope up, because in the end, he’ll realize that you did it for a reason and that was gaining the perfect girl. He won’t confess his feelings until you do, he probably doesn’t even realise he has them.”
“Don’t be stupid, he doesn’t feel anything like that for me.”
“If you’re not happy with yourself, how do you expect others to accept you?” He asked gently.
“I know he’s too good for me, Noah, remember that day when Tyler pinned me to the wall and kissed me and you just stood there helplessly?” I asked and he nodded in response. “That’s how I feel when I see Zane and Hope, he’s my best friend, I’m supposed to be there for him through everything but it’s so difficult when I know my feelings for him will explode sooner or later,” I whispered, he pushed me down on a bench and knelt in front of me, placing both his hands on my legs to calm me down, then he slowly put one hand on my shoulder and locked his eyes with mine.
“You have no idea how amazing you are, Maya, you’re everything a boy looks for in a girl, and I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. If Zane can’t see that then you need to stop wasting your time on him and stop allowing yourself to be hurt. You either need to pluck up the courage and speak to him or just forget about him,” he advised firmly.
“I know, I know,” I answered wiping my eyes quickly and plastering a smile across my face. “When the time’s right, I will,” I smiled back trying to reassure him that I knew he was right.
“We should get back they’ll be wondering where we’ve gone off too,” he said standing up and holding his hand out for me, I smiled extending my hand forward and placing it into his.
“You’re honestly too amazing,” I complimented as he smirked cheekily with an ‘I Know I'm awesome’ expression on his face, I shook my head at his arrogant facade and linking arms, we walked back to the café.
“Where were the two of you?!” Zane exclaimed as we sat back down.
“You noticed huh?” I whispered under my breath.
“What?”
“Nothing,” I smiled, he raised an eyebrow but let it go, wrapping his arm around Hope’s shoulder. I quickly looked away.
“Don’t break down, stay strong,” Noah whispered with his mouth brushing past my ear as his voice tingled through my ears, he squeezed my leg and I blew out a heap of air. I just had to act like it didn’t get to me.
“Babe, isn’t that your phone?” Zane asked me, making me zone back to reality, I nodded my head quickly, pulling my phone out of my bag.
Mum.
“Hello?” I said questioningly.
“Sweet pea, I-I think you should come home,” she said sounding like she was crying.
I got up suddenly and the three of them watched me, exchanging confused looks. “Is everything alright Mum?” I asked nervously.
“I’m so sorry, Maya,” she whispered.
“Mum?” I asked tears forming in my eyes at her defeated tone.
“Just come home, love,” she replied softly before disconnecting.
“What happened?” Zane asked, placing a tenner on the table before running up to me as I walked quickly toward the exit.
“Mum was crying and she told me to come home,” I answered, rushing out of the cafe and along the busy pavements.
“Hope, Noah...,” he yelled and they both nodded, understanding what he meant. “Everything will be alright,” he whispered holding my hand as we rushed up the hill towards my house, my heart was pounding so fast right now, what could be this urgent?
“My Mum doesn’t ever cry Zane - it’ll be something bad,” I whispered as he pulled me into my house. My mum’s sobs could be heard from the door but what worried me wasn’t that but that there was more than one person crying. Zane squeezed my hand pulling me into the living room slowly.
“Mum? Zane exclaimed walking toward his mother, I stood there in the middle of it all, with My mum and Zane’s Mum crying not knowing what to do.
“Oh Sweetie, it’ll be alright,” Mum sobbed throwing her arms around me.
“What’s happened?” Zane asked as he shot me a confused look, I shrugged my shoulder’s sitting Mum down before handing her a glass of water as Zane followed doing the same for his Mum.
“Just remember she’s in a better place now,” Mrs Collins whispered.
“Who?” I asked, beginning to feel sick to the pits of my stomach.
“She left this for you, Maya,” Mum whispered, pulling out a small white envelope from her handbag, I took it from her and sat down besides her, tearing it open.
Dear Maya,
This was Kenzie’s writing...
I’ve only known you for the past four years but you should know that they have honestly been the best four years of my life. You’ve grown to be like a sister to me and I love you so much.
I didn’t keep my promise, Maya. I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop myself from cutting, the pain felt so good, it was like everything, all my hatred and heartache, could be set free and I wouldn’t have to hurt anymore. Please don’t be mad, Maya.
If you’re reading this then it must mean that I’m not going to be there with you anymore. I’m so sorry, Maya; I couldn’t find the will to live anymore. My family is such that they don’t deserve to be called that. I was abused as a child and because of that I never had a proper father figure in my life, he’s probably rotting in jail right now for all I care, and my Mum never cared about me, my death will bring her nothing but happiness. And Tyler - that boy that I loved more than I loved myself, I changed so much for him, Maya, I did things to myself just to make him happy and all I got from him was betrayal.
You and Zane are the only two people, in my entire seventeen years of life, who actually ever cared about me and I had grown to depend on that whenever I felt like it was all too much and I could never thank you two enough for always being there, guarding my back, doing your best to protect me from the world.
But, I'm so sorry, the hatred and sadness that I have in my heart has finally over-powered the love and appreciation I have for the two of you.
I want you to always remember me for all the happy times we had together and not for the way I ended my life.
You know how they always say that everything happens for a reason, it’s true, I’m in a better place now, a place where there is no one to make me sad or hurt me, so don’t worry about me.
Remember that I’ll always be here, watching over you. The first promise I made to you was that I would be there for you, forever and always. I never managed to fulfil that promise to the best of my abilities so I want us to start over. I’ll always have your back and will be here to help you through anything so don’t ever think that you’re alone, if you ever feel lonely or lost, just look up and I’ll be there, guiding you in the right direction.
All I have left to ask of you is that you not cry over me, I did what I did, you weren’t the one to blame, neither was Zane or Tyler - the guilt must be killing him so please don’t let him think that I did this because of him - I did this because I wanted to get away from everything. It’s like I was bad luck. With everything I did and every new person I met, I caused their bad side to be triggered and it always ended up that I was the one who got hurt. I couldn’t live with being that person anymore.
Please promise me you won’t cry over me, I’ll feel bad if you do. Promise me that there’ll always be a smile on your face. I want you to carry on living your life like nothing’s happened, like nothing’s changed because nothing has. I’m still here; I’ll always be here with you, even if I’m not physically standing beside you.
And Maya, not all guys are like Tyler and Zane definitely isn’t one who is, tell him how you feel before it’s too late. I can promise you that he feels the exact same way about you. Love hurts but sometimes it’s worth it, sometimes the best things in life are the outcome of a risk, so, as your best friend’s last wish... Please tell Zane you love him, for me?
... If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you, it’s yours...
You’ve let him go for long enough; it’s time to get him back.
Your one and only best friend,
Forever and ever,
Kenzie x