I clamped my palm over my mouth and pushed myself up to my feet, the pain flashing across her face wasn’t the reaction I’d anticipated. She didn’t feel the same way about me, she saw me as her best friend, no more, no less and it stung, hard. “I shouldn’t have said that.” I muttered, mentally slapping myself before awkwardly scratching the back of my neck, anything to avoid her gaze.
She was biting down hard on her lower lip, “Who is she?” she whispered, looking up at the ceiling to stop her tears from falling.
Was I supposed to tell her?
“You- Uhm,” I drew out the words slowly. “You don’t know her.” I managed to finish shakily.
“It’s getting late,” she whispered, tears collecting at the corners of her beautiful eyes and my god she was just so beautiful. “I should go.”
I shook my head, looking up at her finding myself wanting to cry because my eyes locked onto the photo frame on my wall, containing a picture of me, Kenzie and Maya, goofing around in the summer. I exhaled shakily, she wasn’t going to see me cry- no.
I didn’t understand what I’d done; I didn’t understand why she was so upset or why she was crying. I didn’t understand why I f*cked up, every f*cking time. I swallowed hard; my breathing hitched every time I let out a raspy breath hoping she didn’t hear it, because the last thing I needed was for her to feel sorry for me.
“I’ll drop you home.” I managed to fumble out.
She shook her head, “Noah’s picking me up any minute, I should go Zane.” And I staggered backwards feeling like she’d just slapped me clean across the face. How could I have been so f*cking stupid? Noah, she loved Noah, he made her happy, she wouldn’t want anything to do with me. God, I was always too late. Too late to have saved Kenzie. Too late to confess my feelings to Maya. Always too f*cking late.
“Spend the evening with me?” I pleaded.
“I promised Noah.”
There it was again.
That imaginary slap.
I’d never felt so deceived in my whole life. After all of this she was just going back to Noah? After he tried to use her, after me and Hope ended things, after I’d chosen her over Hope? We were back to square one again?
“Fine.” I snapped.
“Zane-“ she whispered, her voice brittle and coarse from all the crying.
I shook my head, not wanting to hear any more. “You want to leave right?” I growled. “I’m not stopping you.”
She shook her head, before tears began spilling out over her cheeks. I stood immobile, as she turned around and walked away, and right then I felt pathetic, not even being able to tell the girl I loved what she meant to me.
How was I supposed to live with myself knowing I’d just lost my chance? Knowing if I wasn’t such a pussy there was a chance she’d be mine now.
I turned ninety degrees so I was facing the wall, my fist clenched as I tried to compose the anger boiling with in me.
“Zane-“ she whispered, halting half way through the doorway. “Tell that girl you love her, before it’s too late.” She finished, her voice shaky and the corners of her lips pulled up a little before she left.
I wasn’t going to let her go that easily. F*ck no.
I paced over to my bedroom window, watching as she walked quickly into her house, picked up a bag and walked back out, just to be met by Noah, who kissed her cheek, his hands draped around her as he lead her down to the beach.
YOU ARE READING
Best friends with A Player.ChickLit
Zane Collins and Maya Raynes have been best friends since Childhood. Zane's your typical Jock, Good looking, Hot and a total player. And Maya?- well she's just his average best friend. Zane get's it easy with the ladies, one wink and they go head ov...