Ethan's POV
Ethan: "I don't know if I should or not. It would be changing my whole style and how I walk and hold myself. It's not going to be the same."
Mitch: "You might not like the idea but look at how far you have come already. People have already been telling you how great your looking. I've noticed less people making jokes about your size and now laughing with you at your own jokes. You beat them to the punch on the jokes they want to make and it makes them want to like you. Your doing such a good job Ethan why would you start to doubt yourself?"
Ethan: "Have you seen the new comments popping up? I can't win. I've tried so hard to change everything and I'm so happy with myself but every second comment is something hateful and hurtful and it destroys the confidence I'm trying so hard to build."
Mitch: "Why would you start letting that get you down. You know your better than that Ethan. You have done so much to help yourself. Why would you flip on that now."
Ethan: "I can't keep up with it Mitch. It's so hard and I know it's good for me and I'm getting healthier but I can't keep doing it. Every single time I try to make myself happy I have so many people bringing me down and trying to make me upset or angry. Every time I try to organise something I just end up feeling like shit. It doesn't seem like there is a point to all this."
Mitch: "There is always a point to doing it. You can do it for yourself or for your own sense of well being. You can be so happy and still be comfortable with yourself. You have told me before that you weren't happy with yourself and that was before you started working out and eating differently. You can't just change it now because of a few people saying mean things. There is always going to be someone talking shit.Don't listen to them Ethan. Besides why would you say that now and not when you started. Your half way to your goal. It's the hardest part right now and your just hitting it, I believe in you Ethan and I know your happy so what's going on? Because I don't believe that this is what's making you so unhappy."
This guy. Is fucking way too smart for his own good but I can't just tell him.
Josh:"Ethan you right mate? You have been really quiet today."
Ethan:"I've been here."
Simon:"Your here but you haven't been saying much, You haven't laughed at all."
Vik:"Ethan is this about that thing you were telling me about?"
I nodded my head and saw him lay back down in his seat. He seemed to be exasperated or upset with me. I don't doubt him though, I mean he is the only one who has known about me and my feelings for Mitch. Yet even he said anything was possible. I just don't think he likes the idea of me telling him. I mean he was fine with Simon and Preston but I think that was different. He wasn't upset with it but I guess he never seemed happy either.
Tobi:"What's going on?"
Vik:"He likes someone."
JJ:"Wait no why are you treating it like it's a bad thing? That's great Ethan. Do you know if he likes you back?"
Ethan:"I haven't said anything to him."
Vik:"And it stays that way."
I noticed Vik stand up and walk out of the room. He wasn't happy and he didn't like me. I mean yeah that's fair we are all open to our own opinions but why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut?
Simon:"Hang on."
Ethan:"I know what I said."
Harry:"Why would he be upset then if it's a guy. Who cares? I mean Rob's been with Michael for a while now. Simon and Preston ended up together after the latter got angry and confronted Simon about that fucking stupid video. Maybe he's angry because Kay left him for that other chick."
Josh:"Freya."
Harry:"Yeah her. I mean who really cares. We are surrounded by the community in question. I mean kudos to him for sticking with his beliefs and opinions I think that's awesome but there is a line as long as he isn't hurting anyone."
Ethan:"He isn't hurting anyone he just doesn't like it."
It was silent for a few moments until I heard JJ stand up and head upstairs.Probably to talk to Vik about what's happening. I mean I'm all for having your own opinion and shit but at least he isn't hurting anyone physically right?
Josh:"So who is it?"
Ethan:"It's no one."
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It could have been important so I grabbed it out and unlocked it.
Mitch: "Hey uh. Look Vik just messaged me and I'm not sure if he meant it for me but I guess it's alright. I mean I don't like..."
Ethan: "What did he do?"
Mitch: "He may or may not have outed you. And told me you had a thing for me."
Ethan: "Wait Mitch please don't go."
Mitch: "I'm not going anywhere. In fact mate I'm flattered as hell. But you know I'm not interested right?"
Ethan: "What?"
Mitch: "You should have just told me Ethan. I'm fine with your sexuality don't ever think otherwise. I'm just not interested in men and I'm sorry if that's hard for you to hear."
Ethan:"VIK FOR FUCK SAKE WHY COULDN'T YOU STAY OUT OF IT!"
Vik:"YOU NEEDED TO KNOW HE WOULD NEVER BE INTERESTED!"
Harry:"He didn't did he?"
I threw my phone across the room and pulled my legs to my chest. Harry moved over to the seat beside me before pulling me close to him. Josh had continued up stairs and went to talk to Vik while Simon, and Tobi stayed here with me and Harry.
Simon: "Ethan your my best friend and I'm sorry for being that guy but at least you know. I'm going to go talk to Vik alright? I'll be back soon."
Tobi: "Simon you live with him. It's fine."
Ethan: "I just want to go home."
Harry: "I'll message them. Tobi you take him out to the car and I'll take us home ok?"
Ethan: "Are you sure?"
Harry: "Your the one that wanted to go home."
Ethan: "Yeah but still. I don't want you guys to think you have to right now?"
Tobi: "If we get you home and comfortable. That's good enough for us ok?"
Ethan: "I just. I feel bad."
Harry: "Don't feel bad. I'd want to go home as well."
Tobi: "We can get your phone later."
Ethan: "I just, I feel like shit guys."
Harry: "It sucks for you don't get me wrong. But you need to understand that you can't change that. And I am sure that he will still want to be your mate and help you."
Tobi: "Come on let's head home and we can talk to him later ok?"