here have a chapter bYE
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[Kellin's POV]
Those few words were enough to make my blood run cold and my face turn pale. He can't know about my Uncle, the more people that know the worse it is. That's the reason why only Jesse knows, and we can see how that one turned out.
"What about them? They're from Ronnie and Chris, no big deal." I tried to play it off as cool, hoping he would buy it.
"Kellin, you've been at this school for maybe about 2 weeks, the bruises on your stomach are way older than 2 weeks. And you have belt lashes on your back, care to explain?" Vic interrogated. This is so bad, like really bad. How am I going to get out of this one?
"I don't have to explain anything to you. Just leave me alone." I shot back, hoping he would just listen to me and let it go, but that was just wishful thinking. This is Vic we're talking about here.
"Listen, I've saved your ass a total of 3 times since you've been here. I think the least you can do is tell me why you have all of these bruises and welts on your body!" He snapped at me, obviously annoyed with my resistance.
"Have you ever heard of privacy? Maybe I don't want you to know about the markings on my stomach and back! Yes, I get that you've basically saved my life 3 times, but I didn't ask you to, and that still doesn't give you the right to know things I don't want you to know. Now can we just drop this please?" Who does he think he is demanding answers like that? Regardless, even if he did save me a few times that doesn't give him the right to know such personal information. He doesn't even know my middle name.
After my little speech Vic just stared at me, brown eyes boring into my own blue ones. It was like he was searching my eyes for the answer, and I looked everywhere but his. It was starting to get a little awkward after about 2 minutes of just avoiding his intense stare. I looked back at him to tell him to stop looking at me, but he spoke before me.
"You were abused weren't you?" He asked, eyes filled with something I couldn't quite put my finger on. It was like he was waiting for me to look back at him, so he could see what my eyes said, and how they reacted compared to my face and voice.
I hated when people do that, because my eyes are like an open book if you're smart enough to use them to your advantage. That's what Jesse did with me, and now that's was Vic is doing. I tried to keep my calm on the outside, but I was internally screaming and cursing anything and everything. I needed to make this look believable for him to believe me.
"No, I wasn't actually. Since you so desperately need to know, I was bullied worse at my old school than I am here. That's why I moved here, to get away from the bullies. It got so bad that they started breaking my bones, on purpose. So instead of trying to pry your way into my life, stop making assumptions and mind your damn business." I mustered up the best lie I could, praying to the gods that he believed it.
"Then explain why there are belt lashes on your back." He questioned some more, seeing right though my lie.
"Fuck you." I seethed, and pushed the covers off me. I got out of bed and stormed over to the door, but before I could open it, Vic placed himself between me and the doorknob.
"Don't run away from this, I just want to help. You'll feel better once you get it off of your chest. Now let's please go back to the bed and talk about this." Vic explained himself to me. He seemed sincere, which was weird. Should I even trust him?
"No, I don't want to talk about it." I said, being my stubborn self.
"I'm not moving until you tell me." And the worst part is that I know he wasn't lying.
"Vic!"
"Kellin!" He mocked me.
There was a long period of time where we just stared at each other. I was looking for something in his eyes that told me he was just doing this to use it against me, but I couldn't find anything. He looked like someone I could trust, even though I hated him.
"Promise you won't tell anybody?" I questioned him hesitantly. I needed to be 100% positive that Vic wouldn't tell anyone if I told him.
"I swear on my life, promise. Do you really think I would use something like that against you?" Vic pestered.
"Well.." I stated. He gave me a hurtful look, like he was offended.
"Why do you think I'm such a bad person?" He questioned with a soft voice, sounding hurt.
"You've been mean to me since the first day I got here. Can you really blame me?" I tried to put that in the nicest way possible, the look on his face made me feel guilty for some reason.
"Eh, guess not." He said, dropping the subject quickly. "Now come and talk to me back on the bed." With that he walked over to my bed and sat down, patting the spot next to him for me to sit. I sighed in defeat and sat down next to him on the bed.
"Okay, so what do you want to know?" I asked, getting the conversation started. I actually believed that he would keep this secret. Something about him made me trust him, maybe it was the look in his eyes. I don't know, but I know I can trust him. Plus, he did save my life 3 times, so I guess I owe him something.
"What are you willing to tell me?" He said to me. It took me by surprise, because I thought that we were only talking about my Uncle.
"Alright, I have a proposition for you.." I started, pausing to look at him to see if he was following me.
"Go on." He urged.
"Okay, so for one thing I tell you about myself, you have to tell me one thing about yourself. And it can't be something stupid, like your favorite color." I proposed to him. If I was going to be telling him all these personal things about me, I wanted to know some things about him in return.
He looked like he was contemplating my offer, weighing the bad out with the good. Eventually he came to a decision and spoke up. "Okay, I'll do it. I don't have a lot of secrets, but I swear to God if you tell a single soul about any of them you're dead." He threatened.
I swallowed the lump in my throat from his comment, and continued. I was getting irritated with his threats.
"Deal."
"Okay, good. Now tell me, were you abused at home?" He jumped right in, not wasting any time.
"Yeah." I said, being short with him. He gave me a rather unimpressed look, but continued on nonetheless.
"By your dad? Didn't your mom do anything?" He said, jumping to conclusions. This is the exact reason why I hate talking about this kind of stuff, people assume and don't bother hearing the whole story and it pisses me off.
"No, my parents died in a car accident when I was 11. I live with my Uncle, that's who abuses me." I explained to him, trying to keep my cool.
"How long have you been abused by him?" He asked, his voice softer this time, and if I'm not mistaking it sounded like he was worried. Why he would even care enough to worry, I don't know, but whatever.
"Since I was 13, after my Aunt died." When I told him Vic took a sharp breath, and his whole demeanor changed.
"I'll kill him." He seethed and balled his hands into fists. He looked pissed, and it took me by surprised to be honest.
"Why do you care so much?" I asked in astonishment. He looked at me and he just seemed to get even more pissed off.
"I don't know okay! You're just ugh, fuck!" He exploded on me and screamed, while I cowered away.
He got up off the bed and started pacing around the room, trying to calm himself down. I didn't want to say anything, so I just sat there and watched in amazement. This guy had to be bipolar or something, because this shit is ridiculous.
A few minutes later he sat down next to me and looked at me. He looked a lot calmer, but I still moved away out of habit.
"Don't be afraid of me, please." Vic pleaded to me, he seemed genuinely upset so I moved toward him a little bit.
"I'm not, force of habit I guess. But why'd you get so mad?" I questioned, quickly changing the subject. I didn't want to talk about me, it was his turn now.
"You just remind me a lot of my brother, and it's frustrating." Vic said, sorrow lacing his features.
"What? Why? What happened to him?" I asked, the curious side getting the best of me.
He looked at me hesitantly, I could tell he didn't want to tell me. But he was going to, and I was going to make sure of it.
"Vic, come on. I just told you I got abused for 3 years, you can tell me about your brother." I urged him, as nicely as I could. I put my hand over his and gave it a light squeeze. He looked down at them, and I realized that was a little weird, so I quickly removed my hand.
"His name was Mike." He started, looking anywhere but my eyes. "And he's dead." That's all he said. If he thinks he's getting off the hook this easy he's wrong.
"How is he dead?" I questioned. Then I thought back to earlier today when he came in the room and he looked like he'd been crying. "Is that why you were crying this afternoon?"
"Yes, that's why I was crying." He stated, avoiding my first question. He looked down at my comforter, and played with it in his hands. Avoiding my gaze anyway he could.
"Vic, how did he die?" I pressed him on it. That probably isn't the best thing to do at a time like this, but I was a nosey little shit and I wanted to know. What can I say?
Vic sighed and finally looked up at me, eyes glossy. "He overdosed, and killed himself." He said, coldly, no emotion in his voice or showing on his face. That didn't matter though, his eyes said everything that his face and voice didn't.
"He killed himself, and today is his 1 year death date." As he said it, a single tear rolled out of his eye and onto the blanket. "Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted? Well congratulations, you got it! He fucking killed himself just like you were going to!" He exploded once more. I sat there in shock as he got up from the bed, and stormed out of the room.
Fuck, no wonder why he was such a mess today. Just imagine if your roommate killed himself on the same day your brother day. Even if he didn't like me, that would still bring back so many feelings from that day, so many unwanted memories.
"I'm sorry." I whispered to no one but myself.
All these feeling from earlier came rushing back to me, and once more I found myself a sobbing mess for probably the millionth time that day. I pulled my covers over my head and cried to myself while thinking.
If I wasn't going to stay alive for myself, then I would stay alive for Vic. He doesn't deserve to go through all this again.