"I'm in love with you!" The words echoed around the apartment, making the speaker of the pair drop to his knees in loud sobs. The second man didn't know what to say as his mouth dropped open. "I can't take this anymore!" Dan screamed, slamming his fists against the carpet repeatedly until they were aching. All Phil could do was watch in complete awe.
"I-I-" Phil started, wishing his mouth would fully cooperate with his head. His head needed clearing, it was like a thunderstorm of different feelings- mixtures and strange concoctions of happiness, sadness, anger, glee. Without much thought, his feet were moving and he was out of the house.
Tears threatened to fill his own eyes but he rapidly blinked them away. He was fine. He was fine. He was fine. He looked down at the floor, scared that someone would spot the tears filling his crystal eyes.
Someone bumped into him and he let out a loud cry. "Look where you're going next time!" The other man yelled, his hands clenching into angry fists.
"Sorry.." Phil choked out, earning a harsh glare.
"Sorry won't cut it!" Phil couldn't bare the yelling so he took off into a sprint.
He ran until his breath was nothing but a range of short gasps. He dropped to the ground beneath him and let out a frustrated cry. People were staring at him but he didn't care anymore.
Dan loved him. That should be a good thing.
Phil loved Dan too but he wasn't sure if he could hold the burden of a relationship... especially with a boy. His parents were very homophobic so he had pushed the fact that he was gay away and now he just avoided love like it was some sickening disease, ready to kill him.
His phone began to vibrate in his pocket and he lazily pulled it out, praying it wasn't Dan. Luckily, it was PJ.
"Where are you?" PJ asked and he sounded moderately worried.
"Why?" Phil was quick to ask.
"I'm at your apartment. Dan called me and apparently you walked out after he told you a huge secret. He won't tell me what this 'huge secret' is so I am actually very worried. He's sobbing at the moment so you better get back here and calm him down."
"I can't exactly come back there, Peej..."
"Why not? Do you need me to come and pick you up?"
"No, I just... don't want to see Dan."
"You have to. You're his best friend, therefore it is your duty to make him feel better. Whatever he told you was obviously very important to him because he hasn't stopped crying since I got here. You're the reason Dan's upset so you better get back here."
-
Phil stumbled towards the door of the apartment and inserted his key. He lazily opened the door and walked into his living room. Dan was crying into PJ's shoulder and it was all Phil's fault.
"Dan, I'm sorry-" Phil started, his voice shaky. Dan was a mess. His dark eyes were filled with tears and rimmed with red, due to all the crying. He was sniffing repeatedly, the cries not exactly gone yet.
"No, no, no. I'm sorry. You had a right to react like that." Dan pulled at the bottom of his sleeves, a sign he was nervous. "It's not your fault that you don't love me. I can leave if you want or we can maybe.. pretend this never happened? I'm sorry that I'm not good enough for you and-"
Phil wanted to throw up just listening to Dan's words. He couldn't listen anymore so he stepped forward, leaned in and pressed his lips against Dan's. That surely shut him up.
Phil pulled back and Dan was staring at him with sad eyes. PJ was no longer in the room, obviously getting the vibe that they needed some privacy. "Dan, shut up. I do love you, I just can't-"
"Can't what? Have I done something wrong? Am I not good enough?" Dan genuinely looked panicked and it was like Dan had sent a punch flying towards Phil.
"No, you're perfect, Dan.. Just, my parents, they're... homophobic. They'd kill me if they knew I had a boyfriend."
"They don't need to know... do they?"
"I guess not but I'm scared... and the fans... what will they think?"
"Why does it matter?" Phil looked Dan up and down with an anxious look on his face.
"I don't know."
"Do you actually love me or are you just saying that to make me happy?"
"I don't care what people think if I am with you." Phil smiled slightly but he was still unsure.
-
"I love you." Dan whispered one night when he was watching anime with his boyfriend. Phil either generally didn't hear it or he was pretending because he didn't reply. "Phil..."
"Yeah?" Phil diverted his attention away from the anime to his boyfriend who was leaning against his shoulder.
"Did you hear what I said?"
"No, what did you say?" Phil was probably an amazing actor because Dan just shrugged, telling him it wasn't important.
-
"I love you." Dan mumbled, making direct eye contact with Phil. Phil swallowed, knowing he couldn't exactly pretend not to hear it that time. Dan's face fell when his boyfriend stayed silent, avoiding eye contact.
Tears actually filled his eyes as he stood up, furiously wiping his eyes. "I'm going to go to bed early. I'm... tired." Dan then rushed out of the room and into his bedroom. As soon as the door swung shut, he let out a soft cry.
Phil didn't actually love him, did he?
-
"I know it's only been a month but I don't think this is working." Dan mumbled, looking down at his shoes. Phil was standing just a metre away, completely silent. "You don't actually love me."
"I do!" Phil blurted out, his eyes wide with sadness.
"No, you don't. You never say it. I always tell you that I love you and you either pretend not to hear it or stay silent. I can't do this anymore. Relationships don't work unless the love is mutual. You don't need to lie anymore." Dan wiped away a tear that was trailing down his cheek.
"I'm not lying."
"It's okay, don't worry about my feelings. I'm okay." Dan then walked towards the door and, just as he turned the handle, Phil called something unexpected out.
"I love you! I love you, Dan. I love you, I love you, I love you."
Dan froze. His body turned to ice as Phil started to cry.
"I love you so much! I don't care if my parents or the fans find out. I love being with you and I'll do anything to keep us together. I'm not as scared anymore. I love you and that's all that matters. Dan, please don't go." Phil was a sobbing mess but Dan didn't care.
To him, his boyfriend was the most beautiful person in the world.
He retraced his steps and kissed Phil with as much love as he could.
Once he pulled back, he smiled softly to himself. "I love you too, Phil."
Yay! :)
I'm at the cinema so.. what was the last movie you saw?
I'm actually about to watch Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children :)