[Edited: November 5, 2018]
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[A/N: I'm sorry for the slow updates, is anyone still even reading this? I feel so guilty, I'm sorry.]
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"Never Trust A Happy Song"
Author's POV
"Jimin, wake up! Please! Jimin!" Hoseok shook the boy who kept crying on his bed. But he wasn't just crying. He was screaming.
It was as if Jimin felt no one could hear him. And it was killing him.
He just kept saying, "Sorry."
"Jimin, I'm here! It's Hoseok! I'm here, now. Don't worry. I'm here for you. Jimin, please wake up." He wrapped his arms around the crying boy and gently rubbed his back. "Shh, shh."
The other nurses and PABs came, but Hoseok just motioned for them to stay outside of the room. He knew Jimin doesn't like a lot of eyes on him and he'd feel worse if he sees all of them circling around him when he wakes up. He hates attention. Especially, at times like these.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Mum."
He needed to be with someone who really understands him.
"Jimin, Jimin . . . Shhh, it's okay," Hoseok said to him as he finally started to open his eyes.
"Mum . . ."
"No, it's Hoseok. It's me."
"Where's my mum?"
Hoseok was simply at lost for words. He knew Jimin was dreaming about his deceased mother and possibly her death that's why he cried that hard.
But as much as Hoseok was sad that Jimin actually wasn't getting better like everyone thought, he felt his own heart breaking just by the sounds Jimin was making.
He knew that people don't recover that easily, but he just couldn't understand why of all people on the earth, those things had to happen to Jimin. The boy's got a pure soul and a big heart filled with only love and care and he just doesn't deserve any of these.
"Hoseok?" Jimin's eyes widened as he finally went back to reality. He was with his friend, not his mum, not Jungkook. He was still stuck in the same four walls. In the place he suddenly grew to hate on that very night just because of that dream. And just because he realized he wasn't getting any better. Apparently, not.
Everything's just getting worse. He's just getting better at hiding it. He even started to fool himself, too. Started thinking happy thoughts, started convincing himself that he has recovered even just a bit, but the truth is; he hasn't. Not one bit.
Some scars can never be healed.
And Jimin's scars were nowhere seen by the naked eye, but everywhere deep inside of him . . . where he hid his deepest, darkest thoughts and wishes. Where he kept his demons.
And in his veins ran nothing but pain.
"Jimin, you need to take this," Hoseok said to him as he handed him a tablet and a glass of water.
Jimin simply shook his head and said, "I need Jungkook."
"Please." Hoseok insisted but the latter started to shake his head, non-stop. Hoseok had no choice but to put the medicine down along with the glass to cup Jimin's face. He stared into his hazel-brown eyes filled with no emotions other than fear, agony and desperation.
"I promise, this won't make you sleep."
"I can't take that."
"This won't make you sleep," he repeated. "It won't take you back there. Jimin, I promise."
The younger kept silent as he stared at his hyung with wide questioning eyes.
"I don't wanna see any of it again, Hoseok." His voice cracked and tears streamed down his face, making the latter's heart fall into pieces all over again.
"Shh, they won't make you sleep. I promise. Do you trust me?"
It took a few seconds until Jimin nodded and took the tablet.
"Now, let me call Jungkook." Hoseok gave him a small smile.
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[Call]
JK: Hello?
JM: Kookie . . .
JK: Jimin?
Just by hearing one word escape his mouth, Jungkook immediately knew something was wrong.
JM: Kookie, please. Please come here.
Jungkook wanted so much to do so, but life was unfair. It always will be.
He hated how he could never be there whenever Jimin needed him the most. Why does everything have to get in the way? Why does he himself has to get in the way? It was Jungkook who agreed to take Jimin back there in the first place. Or even go back in this town. They were both naive.
Naive enough to think they could find happiness in the same place they lost it.
JM: I can't do this anymore, Jungkook. I thought I was getting better. But I'm not. I lied to myself, to everyone. I knew I wasn't. But I kept convincing myself.
JK: Shh, baby. Don't cry. Please. It breaks my heart just to hear you cry.
It only made Jimin cry even harder because the thought of making Jungkook sad was more for him to take. And oh, God. Jungkook never expected to hear Jimin's voice like this again for the first time since he hasn't heard it for months.
He wanted to hear Jimin's laugh. His real laugh. He missed it so much more than anything he has ever missed in his life. Maybe not as much as he missed Jimin himself, but still.
Jungkook knew whenever Jimin was lying or not just by listening to his voice. Jungkook might have been oblivious to Jimin's feelings and hints before they were together, but not anymore. And they have only texted these months and not really heard each others' voices at all.
JK: Jimin, I love you. I love you so much. God, I wish I could just hold you right now and tell you everything's gonna be alright because it is.
JM: No, it's not . . .
Jimin's voice cracked again and Jungkook couldn't help but let out a gasp.
JK: Baby, it will be. Once we're together in each others' arms again, everything will go back to normal, okay?
JM: I can't wait for that anymore.
JK: What do you mean, Jimin?!
JM: I don't know . . . I . . . I don't even know why I'm still trying to do this. I can't do this. I don't understand anything. I don't even know what I'm living for anymore.
JK: Jimin, please don't say that.
JM: I wanna get out of here. This place's fucked up, but my head's even worse.
JK: Then I will get you out of there. I promiㅡ
JM: We both know you can't do that. Jungkook, we need to stop lying. Weㅡ
JK: Baby, please tell me one thing: Is Hoseok there?
. . .
JK: Jimin?
JM: No. He's watching me by door, but he's outside and he can't hear us. He can't hear you.
JK: Jimin, can you please put this on speaker?
JM: I can't do that.
JK: I need to talk to Hoseok. I need to make sure you're okay. Iㅡ
JM: I'm not okay. I'm not fucking okay. I just dreamt about the day my mom killed herself which also happened to be my birthday. I just dreamt about the man who abused me and ruined my entire life. I couldn't even breathe, minutes ago. And I still am having troubles right now. And I'm still fucking crying and I wanna fucking die.
JK: Jimin, it was just a dream. Please don't do anything stupid. I love you, okay? I can't bear the thought of losing you.
JM: It's not just about the goddamn dream! It's about everything!
Jimin stood up to close his door before Hoseok could even get in. He put a desk in front of it since it didn't have a lock.
JM: I have had enough! My whole life is fucked up and I'm fucked up and everything is just shit! I can't keep waking up in the mornings anymore and pretend that just because it's a new day it means that it's a new beginning when it just really feels like I'm repeating every single thing every day. Nothing is getting better. Everything is getting worse. And I wanna just fucking end everything. It's . . .
Jimin sobbed and Jungkook was trying so hard not to let Jimin hear him cry, not wanting to make things worse or have Jimin hang up on him.
JM: It's enough.
Jungkook could hear Hoseok and the other nurses banging on the door on the other side of the line.
JK: Why are you talking about killing yourself? Do you want me to die?
Then there was silence.