Preston's POV
It was great seeing everyone together again. Even though we were all at the Office. I'm surprised Mitch and Jerome both came down from home. Normally only one of them came. I'm worried though. Everyone was going to be here because I needed to talk to them. It was just sheer coincidence that they were all coming for a vacation anyway. Yeah of course we would be getting videos done and doing some challenges together. But I really needed to talk to them. They would probably hate me.
Robby: "Sup Lava P.Landed at Fortworth now. No sign of anyone else yet. Do you know when they will be coming?
Preston: "Sorry I have no idea. Lachlan won't be in for a couple of hours I know that for sure. The only ones I'm sure of is that Mitch and Jerome are on their way here now. Sorry I couldn't pick you up. The parents and family have all the cars. And mine is getting serviced."
Robby: "It's understandable. Though a bit sad it had to happen today."
It was a complete lie. I just couldn't bring myself to spend any alone time with any of them. I couldn't trust myself. I didn't know what I would say or how I would act. And to be honest. I was scared of what I would say or do. I would lose them all. And I don't want to lose them. But I felt like I was going to lose someone.
Mitch: "Hey dude,Jerome and I are just around the corner. Will we need a key or something to let us in?"
Preston: "Hey there is a key hidden under the lisp of the pot plant next to the front door. Get Jerome to hold the door after you unlock and open it so you can put it back where it is for the others ok?"
Mitch: "Sure man.Thanks P."
I'm not ready for this. Am I? They will all be here. He will be here. I was so scared.
Mitch: "Oh yeah we have a surprise for you too."
Preston: "I'm worried. What surprise?"
Mitch: "You will have to wait and see."
Now I started to panic. I felt my hands shake. A bead of sweat ran down the side of my face. Before falling from my chin onto the table under me.I felt my stomach start to crumple in on itself before my leg started to shake. What the fuck is going on with me? I heard my phone go off one more time before I looked over it to see a message from Lachlan.
Lachy Dachy: "Hey Preston. Vikk and I will be there soon. We found Rob as well so we are coming together. We should be there in a bit."
Preston: "A bit?"
Lachy Dachy: "Shortly."
Preston: "Ok."
My heart started to beat out of time. My palms were clammy. They were so close. It was almost time and I was scared. I looked over at my phone as it started to ring. I didn't even see who it was before I picked it up and answered.
Preston:"Help me. I can't do this. It's not fair. I'm scared."
????:"Preston calm down. Your lucky it wasn't one of the boys. You got this. I have faith in you. And I know God will always love you and catch you when you fall. I promise you."
Preston:"I'm so scared. They will question everything. They will ask me so many questions. They will expect answers I can't give."
????:"How close are they?"
Preston:"They are almost here."
????:"I'll be back soon. I'm sorry I left when I did but there was nothing in the fridge. I needed to stock it up you know that. I will be back soon. Stall them until I get there ok?"
Preston:"Thanks Landon. I honestly don't know what I would do without you and Keeley. I'm so blessed to have you with me."
Landon:"Where is she?"
Preston:"She went back home."
Landon:"Ok. I'm just finishing up waiting for the lady to scan the items and then I'll be back."
Preston:"Ok. I'll see you soon."
I ended the call before listening to the Elevator go off in the hallway. I wasn't ready for this. I can't do this on my own. I got up from my chair and tried to run but my legs wouldn't agree with me. I ended up half stumbling as I made my way out of my office and down the hall. And of course. My guardian angel told me to go fuck myself.I tripped over and only just managed to stop myself from hitting the ground.
????:"Whoa Preston calm down. It's just me."
Preston:"I'm going to be sick."
My head was going a million miles a minute. My vision started to blur and I felt my heart quicken again. I broke into a full sweat before I felt a pair of arms around me.
Landon:"Preston breathe. I'm sure it will be fine. Just calm down man.Look at me."
I looked up at him before I felt my stomach do flips.
Preston:"I'm sorry."
I pushed him out of the way before running to the bathrooms. I only just made it in time and opened the toilet lid before projectile vomiting into the bowl. After a few minutes I finally stopped. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand. And I was a bit shocked to feel it as cold as Ice. That wasn't what sweat was like normally right? Please tell me I'm making the right decision.
Landon:"He's been in there for a few minutes. I don't know what's happening."
Vikk:"What has he been like before? Has he eaten anything bad or off?"
Landon:"Not that I know of. He was sweating bad. His breathing was really quick. He was stuttering and he almost fell over running away from something. I know he is scared."
I felt banging at the door before someone walk in. I was hoping no one would think to actually try the door.
Mitch:"Breathe Preston. I don't know what has you in such a state but you need to breathe. Just try and slow down and think."
I turned myself around with my back now to the bowl behind me. I watched as he grabbed some of the toilet paper from the roll next tome and wiped some of the residual bile from my face. I felt like a kid and I tried to push him away.
Mitch:"Put your hands above your head and open your airways. Panicking will cause your throat to close up and make it harder to breathe."
I listened to his words as I lifted my arms above my head. This wasn't helping anyone. I needed to talk to someone right.
Preston:"You will hate me."
Mitch:"Preston we can't hate you. Your too lovable."
Preston:"You will leave me."
Mitch:"I promise we won't go anywhere. No matter what has you in this state. You need to talk to someone. Please Preston."
I looked into his eyes and saw genuine worry. He cared for me.
Mitch:"The only time I have ever seen someone like this was when I was about to confess my love for Jess. I was so nervous. But I didn't throw up so that's a new one. Thanks for one upping me P."
He was trying to bring a smile to my face. And I appreciated it. I really did. But I watched as his gaze changed as he started to put the pieces together. Though his face turned a little to anger before relaxing. He furrowed and scrunched up his forehead before he relaxed again. He had a look of genuine worry on his face. He got up and walked up to the door and opened it up before pulling Landon in. Then locking the door behind him.
Landon:"Figured it out?"
Mitch:"Yeah. At first I was angry because I didn't understand. And I didn't get it. But it's not my life. Your no different to before I knew. Your still you no matter what. But I can understand why you would be so worried. But bringing yourself to the point of throwing up in a toilet is not helping anyone."
Landon walked over and put his arms around me pulling me into him. While Mitch handed me some more toilet paper to wipe my eyes. I had been crying my eyes out. Landon handed me my phone. I saw a tonne of messages and missed calls.
Mitch:"We kind of blew it up trying to find you. Landon was in the other room and wouldn't tell us where you are until Lachlan walked to the bathroom and heard you throwing up."
Preston:"How did you know it was me?"
Landon:"They didn't. I told them Keeley left earlier today to go home. So they kind of started to freak out a little bit not knowing whether you were ok. They are still freaking out."
Preston:"I can't. I'm so scared."
Mitch:"Well then try and think of funny moments. Try and think of moments with us or your family where you were happy. Where you were laughing.Which the three of us know is any of your videos. Any time your with someone. I won't lie to you Preston. I am still a bit confused that you of all people are gay. I mean that with all the respect I can muster. I just thought with your devoted faith that you wouldn't agree with it."
I felt the tears start to hit again. My hand began to shake again before I felt my breathing quicken.
Mitch:"Hey breathe. I mean no disrespect believe me. I know i'm not wording this right and I'm sorry. I don't know how to react. I've never had to encounter the homosexual community before so I don't know what to say or do to help relax you. I want you to know I'm trying my best to help you out. Just like your trying your best to breathe and calm down. But if you are like this after just telling me. Maybe we should wait."
Landon:"We can't wait. Mitch he has been starving himself and worrying for weeks about this. He has to get it over and done with. Like ripping off a band-aid. Right?"
Landon had a point. I've worried myself so much about this. I couldn't let it go any longer.
Preston:"I need to do this. Funny things right?"
Mitch:"Is it Poofless? Please tell me it's Poofless?"
I looked up at him before chuckling a little under my breath. Before I watched his expression lighten up and fall a little into sadness when I shook my head.
Mitch:"Leston?"
I had to shake my head again. That only left two people. And I knew he would have a 50/50 chance now.
Mitch:"Let's start with Lachlan and Rob then. It would be easier to talk to someone who isn't the one your stressing about right? Do you think that would be easier?"
I nodded my head slowly before Landon walked up to the bathroom door.Unlocking it briefly before he opened it wide.
Landon:"I feel like I'm holding a Job interview. Lachlan and Rob can you come here please?"
Lachlan:"In the toilet?"
Landon:"Just move your ass child."
Lachlan:"Coming. Though remember mate, I'm older then you."
I heard their footsteps hitting the tiles of the room we were in now.The echo's bounced from the walls. Before I heard the door close and the lock click.
Rob:"Preston what's going on. I'm worried about you man. Your never like this. Are you ok?"
I shook my head slowly before feeling another Panic attack hit. Mitch sat down next to me and pulled me into him. Rubbing my back slowly while having me lean on him. I know he was trying to calm me down. To soothe my emotions. But I didn't know how these boys would take it. I looked up slightly. Just enough to see their faces. And they looked worried about me. Lachlan crinkled his nose quickly until I remembered I hadn't even flushed the toilet. Though Landon beat me to it. Hitting the flush and pulling out a can of Air Deodoriser. Giving a quick spray before putting it back on the bench beside the sink.
Preston:"I uh. I'm sorry."
Rob:"Breathe. Slow down and relax."
Lachlan:"Welp I've already figured it out."
I shot my head up after having brought it down to my feet. I looked into his eyes as I just realised what he said.
Lachlan:"Jay was the same way. With how the media portrays it. He was fucking shitting himself as well. Though I am surprised. Though I bet Mitch beat me to it when asking how."
Mitch:"Yeah I got to him first. I feel special. But it's not one of you two."
Rob:"I don't get it."
Preston:"I'm gay."
I heard one boy let out a quick sigh. A sharp exhale if you will. And I don't think I liked where that came from. I heard foot steps before the door opened and closed behind whoever left. I pulled my knees up to my chest. Wrapping my arms around them before resting my head atop them. Letting the tears fall. I was expecting someone to be angry. I was expecting someone to leave. It was normal right. Before hearing the door open again and I lifted my head to find a bottle of water in Rob's hand.
Rob:"What?"
Mitch:"You did just suddenly leave."
Rob:"Shit probably not the best thing to do. Sorry Preston. I just thought you might want some water. I don't care man. Your still you.No matter what."
Lachlan:"Is it Poofless?"
I let out another laugh before I looked over at Mitch as he smiled a little as well.
Mitch:"I asked that first as well. But no. Not Poofless."
Rob:"And It's not you?"
Mitch:"Nah. Little bummed because it would be cool to be seen as attractive to a guy. It's a nice ego booster and compliment."
Landon:"You are attractive that's for sure. But I would never pin you as Preston's type in the first place."
Mitch:"Am I more your type Landon?"
Landon:"Nah. I have one guy I like."
How the? What in the?
Preston:"How did?"
Landon:"I didn't think. I am already out to someone. And I won't lie Preston when I heard you tell Keeley and I. I was so happy I wasn't alone. But the guy I like already knows. And he already told me he thought I was cute and liked me back."
Preston:"You were already out to him. What about Keeley?"
Landon:"Yeah. It was easier then I thought. I guess everyone has a different experience with it. I just let it out. I didn't think. I was too busy worrying about other stuff."
Lachlan:"It was still a surprise though."
Rob:"Landon you told me you just said you only told one person."
Landon:"I only told one guy."
Mitch:"Jay would have been heart broken."
I felt myself starting to relax seeing them talk about it casually. They didn't care. They actually genuinely didn't care. I know they realised I was a bit better when I felt Rob turn his gaze to me. He smiled wide before he walked over and finally handed me the bottle of water. I unscrewed the lid before taking a swig. It felt good. I took another before swishing it around in my mouth. Trying to remove the lingering taste of bile and acid in my mouth. Lachlan had moved and sat next to Landon and pulled him into his lap. With his arms wrapped around the smaller boy. Planting a light kiss on his cheek as Landon fell backwards and leaned against him. They were adorable. And I only hoped that one day I could have that with...
Rob:"So what are you going to do?"
Lachlan:"I'm going to assume they don't know seeing as we didn't."
Landon:"Hole in one. I was still surprised."
I moved my legs down before leaning on Mitch's shoulder and tried standing up on wobbly legs. Rob went to move to hold me up in case I fell. But it wasn't necessary. I put my hand out to stop him.
Preston:"I can do this. I am. Calm and relaxed. I won't think about it. I have been on stage in front of people at events. Met thousands of random strangers and yet this is what breaks me down. Sorry I threw up and forgot to flush it."
Lachlan:"It's fine. Want us to go out first and judge their reactions?"
Preston:"I don't want to make it a thing or bother you guys. I'll be fine."
I heard a knock on the door.
Vikk:"Is everything alright in there?"
Preston:"Is now. Give us a sec."
I walked over to the door and put my hand around the handle. I felt a wave of panic roll through me but I had to push past it.
Mitch:"Tell yourself you can worry and cry and break down if they hate you. Tell them now and then give yourself a valid reason to break yeah?"
I nodded my head once before pushing down on the handle and walking out. Seeing Vikk and Jerome seated in the two couches placed in the lobby. They both looked up at me worryingly.
Vikk:"Are you ok?"
Preston:"I'm fine. I was just."
Mitch:"Stressed?"
Rob:"Panicked?"
Landon:"Worried?"
Lachlan:"Scared?"
I turned around to see the four of them behind me. Gee thanks for having my back guys.
Preston:"Yeah."
Vikk:"But are you ok?"
I looked up at him and saw him watching me intently. He looked scared and worried. Which I couldn't blame him for. He had such a kind soul and a worrying heart. Jerome wouldn't take his eyes off me. He was silent though. And I was worried. This just got harder.
Preston:"I uh."
Vikk:"Wait I'm sorry but Landon are you holding Lachy's hand?"
Landon:"Oh whoops."
Lachlan:"You fucked up mate. But that's alright."
Lachlan moved his hands up and wrapped them around Landon's small frame. My heart ached for a certain boy to do that to me. I turned back to see Vikk smiling though Jerome had his head fall. He isn't is he?
Vikk:"Congrats guys. That's awesome."
Lachlan:"Thanks man."
Mitch:"Jerome? Are you ok?"
Jerome:"Yeah. I think so."
He lifted his head and I watched as a tear fall from his eyes.
Vikk:"Are you ok Jerome?"
Jerome:"I wish I was like that."
What.I don't think any of us were expecting him to say that.
Rob:"What?"
Jerome:"I want someone to hold me. And tell me they love me. But they can't."
Vikk:"I'm sure a girl will fall into your charm one day."
Lachlan:"Vikk just because you have your girlfriend back home."
He has a girlfriend?
Preston:"You have a girlfriend?"
Vikk:"Yeah. I've been with her for a few months now. I tried to tell you Preston but you hadn't been talking to me for the past couple days. I thought you hated me and I thought I did something wrong."
Preston:"You hadn't done anything wrong. I was just afraid of what you would do."
Vikk:"Do for what?"
Mitch:"Oh no."
Lachlan:"Oh you poor bugger."
Landon:"Preston you can't."
Preston:"It's not him."
Rob:"Oh thank god. Wait hold on."
I walked over to Jerome as he looked up at me. Another tear falling from his eye as he sniffled. I leaned down and brought my hands to his cheeks. Holding him softly before leaning in and pressing my lips to his own. I know he was surprised but I couldn't hold it back. I couldn't keep living in fear of not telling him. I don't know what I would have done if I never told him. If I never showed him how I felt. I needed to do it. I finally stopped and pulled away from him before I started to get worried. Jerome didn't move. He didn't even react. And I could tell the air was stale. You would be able to hear a pin drop. Hell you would be able to hear the point a feather hit the ground. I felt a tear before I started to walk away. But I was stopped by someone grabbing my hand behind me. I turned back around to see Jerome looking at me with tears in his eyes. He pulled me back to him as I fell into his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in tight.
Mitch:"Are you ok Biggums?"
I felt him nod into my shoulder.
Jerome:"Please don't leave me. Please don't walk away. I don't want you to leave me. I love you Preston. I have for so long. I don't want to lose you."
Preston:"I was so scared. I stressed out so bad. I cried every day because I was worried about what you would say or do. I was worried about how you would react to me telling you. Before you guys got here. I broke into a sweat. I started to shake. I ended up throwing up into the toilet. For a little bit. I almost couldn't do it."
Jerome:"Please don't leave me."
I lifted his chin up so he was facing me before I kissed him again.Feeling his soft lips against my own. He was so gentle. And I just felt so good. I was kissing him. And he was kissing me back. He didn't push me away. He didn't hate me. I feel like I was almost worrying over nothing. I pulled away and rested my forehead on his own.
Preston:"I promise you Jerome. I promise I never will."
(Hey this is Micky and I would like to ask if you guys would like to if you read this. I am more then open for Requests. These can be for The pack or the Sidemen and their friends. Friends obviously including the Cal boys. Fangs, Joe Sugg, Kenny, Choco, Nooch etc. I'm open to all. I like to write for people and it makes me happy knowing someone is happy with what I've done for them. So let me know whether privately or comment what you want me to write and I will get on it.I have a rough idea of each person but keeping with the theme of SidePack one shot book. One member has to be apart of the group.Whether both in it or one outside. I can't wait to write for you guys.)