The Angel's Ambivalence [Naruto]

TAA Special: Road to Ninja

"You can't fix what's not broken."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You'd think that after everything I'd been through, I'd actually get a break. But ha, ha, no, no breaks for Minxie! Minxie needs to go on missions all the time, Minxie needs to lean against a tree while her ear is harrassed by Shikamaru's voice, Minxie needs to be a ninja all day, every day because she obviously has no other plans! Ugh, I hate my life.

Well, that's not entirely true. I was glad to be doing missions again. It was nice being back in on the action. Getting assigned an S-rank mission right off the bat? So not nice.

Hidden behind a tree, I clamped my hand over my mouth to keep in my gasp. What I was seeing couldn't be real. It just couldn't be. I knew I was no stranger to crazniess, but what I was seeing made me wonder if I really was insane.

Now, why was I freaking out, you ask? The answer was simple. Right in front of me were all the members of the Akatsuki, and I mean all of them. Every single one, even the ones that were dead, were standing in the clearing before us. Seeing them made me feel like I couldn't breathe.

Seriously. What the hell was going on? This is some serious sorcery that needs to stop right now.

I felt chills running down my spine. Seeing all of the Akatsuki gathered together in one place made an ominous feeling fall over me. Sure, I had seen them together many times, but not like this. I had never seen them fighting as an entire unit, a unit that was going to take down my friends and I.

"I guess the report was right," Kakashi-sensei's voice spoke through the communicator attached to my ear, "The Akatsuki are here." His voice reminded me that I needed to breathe, so I let out a quiet, shallow breath.

"It can't be," I whispered, my nails digging into the bark of the tree. "How are they all here? It shouldn't be happening... There's something going on here, something really bad."

"She's right," Sakura agreed, the shock in her voice clear, "How is this possible? There are some we already took down."

"It's not the time to be figuring out how they're back," Shikamaru said. "We'll do that later. Now, we have more important things to focus on. The total number of enemies we have to take care of is now eight. They're all hard to deal with. I've got data on each one of them in my head, but even then..."

"Preparations are complete," Guy-sensei spoke, "We await our orders with the power of YOUTH!" Oh, God.

"Alright," Ryuu said, "We'll-"

"RASENGAN!" And there went my eardrum. Oh, and if my ear practically bleeding wasn't bad enough, there was also an explosion in the middle of the clearing. I facepalmed.

Oh, God, Naruto, I'm going to murder you.

"I never run away or hide, believe it!" Naruto announced. "All of you, come at me!" It was bad enough that he had charged into battle without waiting for orders, but now he was stealing my line!? He better be prepared for when I come at him!

"My name is-" And then he was rudely smacked into the ground by one of the Akatsuki members. I clamped a hand over my mouth so I wouldn't laugh. "OW! My name is Naruto Uzumaki, you rude bastard! I'm a ninja!"

"He's also an idiot," Mitchell muttered, a sigh in his voice.

I could practically feel Sakura seething as she barked through the communicator, "Seriously, what is he doing!? He says he's a ninja, but he charged right into battle! What a moron!"

"Well, guess he's a perfect decoy," Kakashi-sensei decided. "Ryuu?"

"We can't take them out all at once," Ryuu replied in his usual monotone. "They're too strong. We'll have to take them out one by one. We separate them, and then we take them down. Everyone got it?"

There was a chorus of "yeah's" that sounded through the communicator, and I nodded. I didn't even realize that I hadn't spoken until Shikamaru's voice called out, "Minxie?"

"Oh! Right, sorry," I muttered, grinning sheepishly. "I forgot you couldn't see me, and I nodded..." I heard what sounded like a bunch of people facepalming, "Don't judge me! But I got the plan, bro. I got this."

Ryuu sighed at me. "Whatever. It's now or never."

Naruto was pulled out of the field by Choji's expanded -and huge- hand. I couldn't hear them very well, but I assumed he and Ino were scolding the hyperactive blonde shinobi. Choji wasted no time, using his expanison jutsu and rolling into the field.

Pain was dealing with Shino's bugs, and Kiba hit the orange-haired leader head on by using his Fang over Fang jutsu. Hinata and Rin fought with Konan, while Lee and Guy-sensei dealt with Kisame. Mitchell, Josh, and Kylie faced Kakuzu. Luna used her senbon needles to fight with Sasori. Tenten and Neji went after Hidan, and after seeing my brother's nod of approval, I jumped into action with him.

It was an unspoken agreement. The two of us were going to deal with Itachi. Or, better yet, we were going to figure out what the hell was going on.

I took out my katana, striking at the my former sensei. He deflected the attack with a kunai, making our weapons clash against each other.

"Itachi, what the hell is going on?" I asked, but he wasn't talking. He grabbed my elbow and chucked me off to the side.

I quickly scrambled to regain my footing, rolling over into a kneeling position. When I looked up, Ryuu was fighting with Itachi in my place.

"Itachi-sensei, what are you doing?" my twin brother questioned, pushing the older man back with his sword.

Again, Itachi didn't answer him. He merely pushed Ryuu back and kicked him, sending him flying. Ryuu landed on his feet next to me.

"I don't think that's Itachi-sensei..." I mumbled, my eyes narrowing at the possible imposter.

"No, I don't think he is," Ryuu agreed quietly. "So that means we don't have to hold back."

As Naruto ran through the battlefield, Pain charged at him. Ryuu saw this, nodding in their direction. "You go join Naruto at your spot. I'll take care of Itachi."

"Alone?" I asked, frowning slightly.

"Relax, my dull little Doppelganger," a smooth, bell-chime voice chided. Scarlett appeared in front of us, a smirk on her porcelain face. "He has me."

"That's not very comforting, but..." I shrugged. "Why not? Just be careful!" I left them to deal with Itachi, flipping over Kisame and sending a strong kick to Pain's jaw, making him fly backwards. I landed in front of Naruto, smiling up at him.

"Show off," He muttered, rolling his eyes playfully.

"This show off just saved your ass," I reminded, nudging him. "Besides, I'm not the one who jumped into battle, which was totally stupid, by the way!"

"I was just teasing you!" He exclaimed. "And that wasn't my fault! Waiting for orders took too long, believe it!"

I rolled my eyes, smiling, "Oh, whatever. Let's just get to Sakura and Kakashi-sensei." He nodded, and together, we ran until we were at our proper location, standing next to Sakura.

Sakura, as expected, greeted Naruto by smacking him upside the head. "You idiot! What were you thinking, charging into battle like that? You were supposed to wait for orders!"

"Oi, stop hitting me!" the blonde exclaimed. "It was a tiny little mistake!"

"Yeah, a dumbass mistake," I added, crossing my arms over my chest.

His eye twitched at me. "You're not helping, brunette!"

"You say that as if 'helpful' is in my job description, blonde," I shot back, and he stuck his tongue out at me. I returned the gesture, and Sakura hit us both.

"You idiots! Stop acting so casual!" She scolded, an anime vein bulging in her forehead, "We're on a serious mission!"

As if on queue, kunai with paper bombs attached to their ends soared threw the air, aiming for us. Kakashi-sensei appeared quickly, creating an earth wall that blocked the explosions. Sai leaned against it, drawing his cartoon lion and sending it out to attack Deidara.

I activated my Mind's Eye, using it to float into the air. I spun, shooting out kunai and shuriken as I did so. A few of them skimmed Deidara's cloak, but he deflected most of them.

"Damnit!" Naruto cursed as I floated back down. He began to rush forward, "I'll just- HEY!" A hand shot out from under the ground, grabbing his ankle and making him fall face first. "What the hell is that!? Go away! THE HAND WON'T LET ME GO! DO SOMETHING!"

"It's Kakuzu's hand," I told Kakashi-sensei, who nodded, "He must be using his jutsu." 

Naruto flailed around on the ground, shouting things about the hand sucking the life out of his ankle. I facepalmed, taking out my katana and slicing the hand away. It released its hold on his ankle soon after that.

I was completely confused when all of the Akatsuki members began fading into the ground. They disappeared, not leaving even a hint of a trace.

"Uh, does anyone have any idea why they all suddenly decided to sink into the depths of the ground?" I called out, looking around me. No one had answers. "No? Sigh. Of course not."

"Maybe they decided to have a party down there," Kylie suggested with an innocent shrug of her shoulders.

"Either that, or they descended into the depths of hell, which is where quite a few of them should have been," Mitchell added. My blue-haired best friend nodded, as if his response was a good one.

"Anyway," Josh spoke up after sighing at the pair of them, "All that matters is that they're gone."

Kiba nodded. "It seems like we succeeded at driving them back. Can I get a hell yeah!?"

"No," Shino replied simply.

Kiba's eye twitched. "SHINO, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS CRUSH MY DREAMS!?"

"Because your dreams suck!" I shouted to him.

He gasped, offended. "HOW RUDE! WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON!?"

I shrugged in response, making him anime fall. Ah, messing with Kiba is the best.

Kakashi-sensei lowered his headband over his Sharingan eye, "Well... This is kind of strange." He stared down at Kakuzu's hand.

"Well, I hope he wasn't right-handed, 'cuz if he was, he's screwed now," I announced, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Even though we drove them back, Sakura's question still remains," Shikamaru said. "How is it possible that even the ones we've taken down came back?"

"You think it could have been genjutsu?" Luna suggested.

Kylie shook her head. "No, it wasn't. It was too real for it to be genjutsu. I have no idea how this happened."

"Minxie," Kakashi-sensei called, making me turn to him, "Do you know of any jutsu that the Akatsuki could have used to bring back their deceased members?"

"Not a clue," I replied, sighing, "All I can think of is Edo Tensei, but their bodies were too well animated for them to have been Edo Tensei summonings."

"Besides, no one in the Akatsuki knows how to use Edo Tensei," Ryuu said, appearing next to me, "Whatever jutsu was used is one I've never seen before."

"Well, I suppose all we can do now is head back to the village and report this to the Hokage," Kakashi-sensei decided, "Good job, everyone. Let's go home."

We all nodded, and our entire group began the short walk back to the village. I chatted absentmindedly with Naruto and Kiba, but I couldn't get my mind off what had just happened.

Itachi was dead. I knew that for a fact. I mean, I had seen his dead corpse, for crying out loud.

But then how was he back?

~*~

Once we arrived at the village, Kakashi-sensei broke away from the group to report to the Hokage. At the village gates, we were greeted by everyone's parents. My friends drifted apart to speak to their parents, who immediately congratulated their children.

Ryuu hadn't spoken much since our mission ended, and I couldn't really blame him. Both of us were feeling uneasy after what had just happened. I was able to put it aside, but he couldn't, since he had been in the Akatsuki for most of his life. I had just hung around them for a few years.

I was going to talk to him about it, but then I saw Kylie staring at the rest of the parents and their children. Her blue eyes looked almost sad, from where I was standing. She seemed to be staring at them in longing.

"Hey," I called, walking over to her, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," She assured, turning to smile at me. "Just thinking about something."

"And that something is...?" I let my voice trail off as I stared at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Nothing," She answered. "Just... I haven't seen my parents in three years. I guess I'm feeling a little homesick."

My face must have said it all, because she quickly smiled and said, "But don't worry about it! I mean, I have you guys, now. Our house is always busy."

I nodded, not really believing her, but I didn't press the issue any further. I was almost afraid of what else she'd confess to me. I felt even worse when I saw that Ryuu, Mitchell, and Josh all had the same longing look in their eyes. I was a hundred percent positive that I didn't look like that.

It made me feel heartless. They were missing their parents, while I was completely indifferent to my lack of parents. It was almost like I was numb.

Don't get me wrong. I really wanted to miss my parents, and a part of me truly did miss them. But another part of me didn't know how to. I didn't know what they were like. I couldn't even remember meeting them. I couldn't miss them as much as I wanted to because I never knew what I was missing out on.

"Because of your bravery at facing the Akatsuki, we're going to submit letters of reccomendation to the Hokage to promote you guys to Jonin rank," Ino's father said, dragging me out of my thoughts.

"Really!?" Ino giggled, bouncing up and down excitedly, "Then we're going to be Jonin!?"

"With confidence," Kiba's mother replied, "It was decided with unanimous approval. Isn't that right, everyone?"

There was a chorus of "yeah's" from everyone's parents, who happily agreed with smiles on their faces.

"We were hesitant at first, considering you're heir to the clan," Rin's father said, "You really ought to have chosen to be a regular civillian, but I suppose there's nothing we can do now."

Rin sighed deeply, rubbing her temples. "No, Father, there isn't..." Huh. Well, would you look at that. Three years later, and Rin's father was still underestimating her.

I saw Naruto standing in the middle of everyone, all by himself. I excused myself from my little group and walked over to him, waving. "Hey. Great job today on our mission."

"I thought you said charging in without orders was way too reckless," He reminded, eyeing me suspiciously.

"It was," I said. "But... Just between you and I, waiting for orders was so boring. I probably would have done the same thing if you hadn't beat me to it."

He smiled at me, and I smiled back. Before he could reply, we heard Sakura's mother's voice speak above everyone else's.

"I feel kind of bad. We, too, were hesitant at first," she announced, "Sakura always goes around carelessly, taking off her shoes at home and throwing them. And she never folds the laundry or cleans up. I don't think she'll do that even when she becomes a Jonin!"

Everyone laughed, while Sakura flushed with embarrassment. "M-Mom! Why are you saying that in front of everyone!?"

"You don't have to worry, honey," Sakura's dad assured his wife, "Sakura serves a great teacher, so she'll be alright even if she finds herself in a difficult situation. Now, a cleaning situation is what I'm most worried about..." He let out a throaty chuckle, and his wife joined him.

Sakura's eye twiched, and her fist began to shake. "Oh, my gosh, can you two please stop it!? Your jokes are annoying and embarrassing!"

"What did you say, huh!?" Sakura's mom barked, meeting her daughter with her scary mom gaze.

"Woah, Sakura!" Naruto ran over to her, interfering. "Why are you talking to your parents like that?"

"Shut up!" the pinkette snapped. "This is none of your business!" Even I'll admit it: Sakura looked scary as hell. Naruto backed away quickly, holding his hands up in defense.

I grabbed his arm, pulling him away, "Yeah, I don't think you want your face bashed in."

He smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Thanks for the save." A far away expression took over his face, and his hand slowly dropped to his side. I recognized that look. It was the same look of longing I had seen on my friends' faces only moments ago.

"You want to get out of here?" I asked, desperately wanting to replace his expression with a happier one. He nodded, shooting me a thankful glance. "Guys! I'll meet you at home later, okay?" I called to Ryuu and Kylie, who nodded back. Before Naruto and I could leave, we were stopped by Sai.

"May I join you?" the artist asked, and the two of us nodded. 

We began walking through the village as a trio. There were children all around us, who played tag and Mancala. Tree leaves fluttered in the wind calmly. It was just another peaceful day in the Leaf Village. Our conversation was pretty peaceful, too, until Naruto brought up a different topic.

"Looks like everyone's parents are recommending them to be Jonin," the blonde began, "What are you going to do about it, Sai?"

"I'm not sure, since I was a part of the Foundation," Sai replied. "The way to becoming a Jonin is different."

"What about you, Minxie?" Naruto asked, turning to me.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, shrugging. "I guess... I guess I never really thought about it." Because how could I? It wasn't like I had parents who could recommend me for Jonin.

I wanted to tell Naruto that, but I decided against it. He didn't have parents, either. Reminding him about that wouldn't make him feel any better.

So I kept my mouth shut and let Sai choose our next conversation topic.

~*~

Sai excused himself about an hour later. Naruto and I bought ice cream and sat on a hill to watch the sunset. One of the best things about Konoha was its sunsets. The sky was colored dozens of different shades of red, orange, and yellow. The vibrant sun was in the center of it all, setting the sky alight.

"Minxie..." Naruto called my name, making me turn to him. "Don't you ever miss your parents?"

Well, that was a different question... I picked at my ice cream with my spoon. "Yeah, I do." I looked at him. "Why? Does it seem like I don't?"

"No!" He denied quickly, appearing shocked that I would even suggest something like that. "It's just... Today, when everyone was talking about being Jonin... You just didn't seem sad about it."

"I was sad about it, it's just..." I sighed. "I miss my parents. I really do, but there's so much I don't know about them. I don't remember the six years we spent together as a family. I feel a void when I think of them, and I know that it's an emptiness that won't go away, but... It's hard to explain. I thought that meeting my dad would bring me some peace, but all it did was give me more questions. I don't know my parents' birthdays, or their favorite colors, or what we did together as a family... I guess that not knowing those things made me more upset than not having someone to write me a Jonin recommendation letter."

He nodded slowly in understanding. "... No one's there to say welcome home when I get back from a mission. I hear everyone talking about how my dad was a hero, and how he was a great Hokage, but what does he have to show for it? He's just a face on a stupid rock. Sometimes, I wish he wasn't on that rock. I wish he was here, so he could say welcome home."

I put my ice cream down. Yeah, that's right, I put my beautiful ice cream down so I could comfort Naruto. If that doesn't show you how important he was to me, I don't know what will.

I slid a bit closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't know your dad, but from what I've heard, I can tell that he was a great man and leader who everyone loved. I know he's not here, and I know that you sometimes feel like you're missing a shadow... But I also know that he loved you, just like your mother did. What he did was what he thought would be the best for you, even if it seems hard now. I know it's not easy to understand, but that doesn't mean it isn't true."

He didn't speak for a long time, and I didn't force him to, either. I just sat by his side quietly, letting him take in my words.

"If they loved me so much... Then why'd they leave me alone?" 

I didn't know what to say to that. That was a question that I just didn't have the answer to. All I knew is that when he looked at me, I saw a look of pain in his eyes that made my heart hurt. It was like I had heart burn, only worse. His beautiful blue eyes that were usually so bright and warm were empty and sad.

The worst thing in the world is seeing someone you love falling apart in front of you and not knowing what to do to stop it.

I didn't say anything. Instead, I slid even closer to him and leaned my head on his shoulder, running my fingertips along his arm. He seemed a bit surprised at first, since he sucked in a breath. He warmed up to me quickly, though, and let his head rest gently on mine. 

When he took my hand and squeezed it, I knew that he got my message: I'm not going to leave you alone.

He ran his thumb across my palm, and I prayed silently that my hands weren't sweaty, because that'd be ridiculously embarrassing and would have ruined the whole moment.

"Thanks, Minxie..."

~*~

When I got home, it was really late. The sun had set, and the night was dark and a bit chilly. There were still a few people outside, though, since this was Konoha, after all.

I unlocked the front door and left my shoes in the tiny hallway. Kylie and Ryuu were in the living room. While Kylie was resting nonchalantly on the sofa, Ryuu was sitting impatiently on the arm chair. When he saw me, he stood up.

"Welcome home!" Kylie greeted, smiling at me. Her words reminded me that Naruto had no one to welcome him home, and I felt a pang in my heart.

"Hey," I replied anyway, not wanting her to think that something was wrong.

"Where were you?" Ryuu demanded.

"I was out with Naruto," I answered, "It took longer than I expected."

"No, really?" He asked sarcastically. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"I'm sorry, okay? Jeez." I put my hands on my hips. "What is your problem? It's not like this is the first time I'm home late."

"And there it is. That, right there, is my problem," He growled. "You being home late is my problem."

"Guys, please don't fight," Kylie begged, trying to intervene, "You're siblings!" Ryuu and I both ignored her.

"I told you where I was going," I argued, "What, do you want me to map it out, too? You're not my father!"

Instantly, his expression harshened. Our parents were still a sensitive topic to him, and my big mouth wasn't helping. "No, Minxie, I'm not your father, but our father taught you to not be out late. If you remember anything about him, that should be it!"

"Well, I don't! I don't remember a thing about him or about our mother! There!" I shouted. "Are you happy now? Are you happy that you're the better child because you remember? You are the only living Takeda that knows anything about your family. Congrats, Ryuu!"

"Don't say that," He warned. "You know our parents loved us equally."

"If they loved us so much, then why did they leave us alone!?" I screamed, stunning him into silence. Even Kylie had gone mute as she stared at me with wide eyes. I, too, was shocked by my own words. I hadn't planned on saying anything like that. It just kind of came out, like it was an in the moment thing. "Ugh! Just forget it!" 

I turned on my heel and stormed away, slipping on my shoes angrily. I saw Rin, Josh, and Mitchell standing by the stairs with sad expressions. Great. I groaned internally because I knew they had heard our argument. The whole village probably heard our argument. Yeah, we were that loud.

"Minxie, wait!" Kylie called, while Ryuu asked, "Where are you going?"

I didn't answer them. I pulled open the door and slammed it shut behind me. I ran away from the house, knowing that Ryuu would find me. At least if I ran, he wouldn't catch up to me so quickly. I looked behind me, but I didn't see my twin anywhere. I rounded a corner and smacked right into somebody. The collison sent us both to the ground.

I rubbed my head and laughed when I saw who I ran into. "You and I have really got to stop meeting each other like this."

"But our falling is cool, believe it!" Naruto announced. He stood up and offered me a hand. I took it, and he helped me up. As I dusted myself off, I felt his eyes on me. "What are you doing out here? Not that I'm not excited to see you or anything... It's just, I'm used to you being home by now."

"I was home, but... Ryuu and I kind of had a fight," I confessed, scratching the back of my head. "It wasn't pretty... Actually, it was terrible. So I left."

"Are you okay?" He asked, concern in his blue eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine..." I muttered. I shook my head. "Actually, no. I'm not fine."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He inquired.

I smiled smally at him. "That'd be great." He smiled at me, and we began to walk together. "Wait, why are you out here by yourself?"

"Heh... About that... See, I kind of had a fight with Iruka-sensei," He admitted sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "So I came here."

"... We're so alike sometimes, it scares me," I muttered, making him laugh. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"You first."

"Okay... Well, when I got home, Ryuu got all temperamental because it was late. Then he said that I should have remembered my father telling me to come home early, as if I actually could, and something in me just snapped. I spent the entire day feeling miserable because I can't remember my parents, and Ryuu just threw it back in my face. So I yelled at him, and then I left," I explained. "Everyone heard us. I'm pretty sure Luna and Scarlett heard us, too, only they didn't watch from the staircase. Ryuu and I haven't fought like that in a long time."

"Are you going to forgive him?" He asked.

"Yeah, eventually... I just kind of want to be angry for a little while, you know?" He nodded, and I tilted my head at him, "So, why'd you fight with Iruka-sensei?"

"I told him that I wished my dad wasn't just a face carved onto a rock," He confessed. "He didn't take it well. He thought I was dishonoring my dad, but I don't care. Rocks don't say 'welcome home.' Then, old man Teuchi replaced my naruto fish cakes with menma... I flipped out after that. I wasn't really angry at him, though. I was just angry at everything, and instead of helping, Iruka-sensei made me feel worse about it. I left Ichiraku's without looking back."

"... Wow," I muttered, because that was the first thing that came to mind. "That sucks. You know, I'm sure Iruka-sensei didn't mean anything bad... But I'm sorry that he yelled at you." I placed a hand on his arm.

He half-smiled. "Yeah, me too."

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could say anything, I heard people yelling. The voices were familiar, and I recognized the house as Sakura's.

"Are you going through puberty? Is that why you're being so rebellious?" Sakura's mom questioned, and I covered my mouth so I wouldn't bust out laughing. Don't laugh, Minxie. Sakura is your kinda-sorta-maybe friend, and she will probably kill you if she hears you laughing.

"Why do you always have to meddle in every single thing that I do!?" Sakura shouted back. "I'm not a kid anymore! Stop treating me like one!"

"Where are you going!?" Sakura's mom asked. "I'm not finished yet! Get back here, Sakura!"

"This is my life! I make the choices!" Sakura snapped. "So leave me alone and quit meddling!" She slammed the door behind her, appearing at the top of the stairs. She stormed down them and stopped when she saw Naruto and I.

"What's the matter, Sakura?" Naruto asked, his blue eyes wide in concern for his pink-haired friend.

For a second, Sakura looked like she was going to tell us, but then the door opened, and her mother called her name. The pinkette's expression twisted into a glare. "Forget it! Let's go!" She grabbed us both by the arm and dragged us away. "Follow me!"

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly giving us a choice here..." I muttered. She yanked my arm harder, and I almost tripped. "OW! Jeez, Sakura, slow down!"

"You're about to rip my arm off, believe it!" Naruto announced.

"Shut up!" Sakura barked, releasing his arm and dragging him by the ear instead.

"You don't have to take your anger out on me!" the blonde exclaimed. "I didn't do anything! OW! LET GO!"

I didn't say anything because Sakura would probably pull me by the ear, too, and judging by Naruto's reaction, that wasn't any fun. I sighed deeply, letting the pinkette pull us to who knows where.

~*~

Sakura finally released us when we got to the playground. We all sat on swings, and said pinkette was swinging angrily. Instead of swinging while sitting down, she was standing. 

"Wow, Sakura. You're so defiant," I commented sarcastically, "You keep swinging while standing up! That'll show 'em."

She snapped her head to me, glaring harshly.

I sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? You bruised my arm, bro. Excuse me for being just a little bit ticked off."

"Your mom will be looking for you," Naruto said suddenly, turning to the pinkette, "Do you think it's okay to stay here?"

"Just forget about it. It happens all the time," Sakura replied. "She meddles in every single thing I do. Nothing I do is ever enough for her. She's only satisfied when things work the way she wants. My dad is the same way. Why can't he be on my side for once? No matter what he says, he always ends up siding with my mom. He's a genin who has no chance of becoming a jonin. I want him to actually amount to something. And if he can't do that, why can't he at least help me with my mom?"

"Sakura..." Naruto tried to get her attention, but she wasn't having it.

"I wish I could respect my parents like others do, but I can't," She continued, too absorbed in her rant. "Instead, I'm ashamed of them."

Next to me, Naruto clenched the sides of his swing tightly. "Sakura, don't you think you're being a little too harsh?"

"Yeah, he's right," I put in, "They are your parents, after all."

She hopped off the swing, turning to face us with her hands on her hips. "What? Are the two of you seriously on their side!? I knew telling you was a mistake. You guys just don't get it." She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest and looking off to the side. "If I told Sasuke, he would have understood me."

Immediately, I stopped swinging. I dug my heels into the dirt, halting my movements. I stood up, glaring at the pinkette. "Sakura, if you really think Sasuke would have agreed with you, then-" I stopped talking when I felt a chill run down my spine. My entire body felt cold.

I realized why I felt so terrible when I heard a dark voice say, "Long time no see, Minxie, Naruto."

"Madara!" Naruto growled, creating a doppelganger. He formed a Rasengan, charging at the Uchiha. Unfortunately, the attack passed right through him, and Naruto crashed against the gates.

"You're still the same..." Madara sighed. "How disappointing."

I leapt into the air, a Chidori in my palm. My attack passed right through him, but I caught myself before I could fall over.

"CHA!" Sakura jumped into the air and slammed her foot into the ground, creating a huge crater in the earth. She missed, and Madara appeared on the other side of the crater, completely unharmed.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I growled at him, glaring.

"This is a bit off my expectations, but that doesn't matter," He said, which really wasn't an answer. He took a red orb out from his cloak, tossing it into the air. The orb stood suspended in the air, symbols appearing onto it. It looked just like a Sharingan.

The orb began to glow, wrapping the entire clearing in light. The light was blinding, and Sakura, Naruto, and I had to shield our eyes. A few moments later, the light faded, and we were able to open our eyes without losing our sight.

"What the hell was that?" Naruto asked, looking around the clearing. "Where did he go?"

"Maybe he's hiding somewhere," Sakura suggested.

"But why was he here in the first place?" I asked. "And why would he run? It was just the three of us, alone. He knows he probably won't get another opportunity like that again. So why run?"

"That doesn't matter now," She said. "We need to go warn everyone."

Naruto and I nodded, and together, the three of us ran towards the exit. When we got to the gate of the playground, we saw Kiba, Hinata, Akamaru, and Shino walking by.

"Hey. What are you guys doing here?" Kiba greeted, looking at us.

"Madara just attacked us," I told him, "We need to tell the Hokage and find him!"

Instead of freaking out and joining us, like I thought they would, they all looked confused. They didn't make any moves to help us, which confused me deeply.

Another thing that confused me was that they looked almost... Different. Instead of the full triangles Kiba usually had on his face, the triangles were cut into tiny squares. And was Hinata wearing lipstick? And shorts? What the hell was going on?

"Didn't you guys hear what we just said!?" Naruto exclaimed. "We need to find the Hokage and warn everyone! Why aren't you moving!?"

"Of course I heard you. Everyone heard you," Kiba said, rolling his eyes. "What's this Madara you're talking about? Something to eat?"

Sakura and I turned to gape at him, while Naruto freaked out. "YOU IDIOT! This isn't the time to make stupid jokes!"

"Listen, you- ARGH!" Kiba was interrupted by Akamaru biting him... In the ass.

Um... What?

"YOU STUPID MUTT!" Kiba barked. "Do you wanna die!? Huh!? Why do you bite me all the time!?" He rubbed his butt. Akamaru growled at him, and Kiba pushed down his muzzle. Akamaru barked again, pushing his owner backward. "WHAT'D YOU SAY!? Well, guess what! I don't want to see your ugly face, either!"

Akamaru growled, leaping at Kiba. Kiba bent backwards, and Akamaru passed over him without harming him. The large dog ran off, not bothering to look back.

"Uh... Kiba, did you and Akamaru get into a fight or something?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What do you mean? This always happens," Kiba huffed. "Ugh, I don't even want him! I wish I was born into a clan that uses cats instead, like yours!" Now, if that wasn't freaky enough, he started nuzzling his hands, as if they were paws.

Um... What?

"I'm sorry, did you say cats?" Naruto asked, just as confused as I was.

"Kiba's a cat person. Always has been," Shino said.

"By the way, what were you three doing here?" Hinata asked. "Don't tell me this is some kind of threesome now."

I was completely shocked. Hinata actually spoke without stuttering? And how could she say the word threesome without fainting!?

"No, of course not," I denied quickly, giving her an odd look.

"Good," She muttered. She stepped forward, in between Sakura and I, "Because if either of you ever flirt with him, I'll kill you."

Had I heard that right? Did Hinata just threaten us? Sakura paled, and my eye twitched.

"Hinata... Are you okay?" I asked, staring at her with wide eyes.

"I knew it!" Hinata exclaimed, activating her Byakugan and getting into a fighting stance. "Just come out and say it!"

"Say what!? I asked a simple question! Why are you trying to come at me?" I asked, waving my arms around. "What the hell is going on!?"

"Hey, cut it out!" Naruto shouted, standing in front of me.

"Idiot! Why are you covering for her!?" Hinata hissed, grabbing the front of his shirt and shaking him.

"Uh, girls!" the blonde called. "You go first!"

Sakura and I nodded, quickly swerving behind the group and running away. Before I left, I heard Shino say, "You know, if a guy and two girls are together at night, it means-" I stopped listening after that. Nope, nope, nope. I refuse to be corrupted by his words.

Naruto poofed away, joining Sakura and I. In the distance, we heard Hinata's angry voice, "They're running away!? I knew they were having some weird threesome thing! GET BACK HERE!"

We quickly bounded down the street, our shoes pounding against the pavement. We ducked into an alleyway, throwing a whole bunch of items behind us just in case she found us. We didn't stop running for ten minutes. When we finally stopped, my lungs felt like they were on fire.

"What," I took in a greedy gulp of oxygen, "the hell," another breath, "was wrong with her!?"

"I have no clue! They were all acting weird," Sakura exclaimed, catching her breath.

"It was freaky, believe it!" Naruto announced, standing up straight.

"Hey, Choji. Let's go get some beef... Beef." Oh, God, what is it now? I looked up and saw Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru rounding the corner.

My jaw dropped. They all looked completely different! Ino had her hair down, and she was wearing a long skirt and shirt that covered her body, as if she was insecure. Shikamaru had a round face and goofy smile. Choji was the one who really threw me off. He was so thin it scared me.

"At the barbecue, we can eat as much as we want. All we have to do is pay 1500 won! If the three of us go and split the bill, it'll be... Umm... Um..." Shikamaru started counting on his fingers, as if he actually needed to. The Shikamaru I knew could to math in two seconds tops. What the hell was going on?

"It's 500!" Choji exclaimed exasperatedly. Um... What? Choji knew math? I don't even know anymore... "Anyway, I don't want to do that. I only eat tiny portions. It'd be a waste." Again: what? Had those words really come out of Choji's mouth? Choji, the shinobi who could down ten servings of a barbecue buffet and live to tell the tale?

Shikamaru gasped, as if he was offended by his friend's refusal. "Even if we could only eat 5 servings, it's still a great deal!" He shook Choji's shoulders. "How can you refuse it!?"

"What!? Do you think my stomach is some sort of black hole!?" Uh, yes, Choji, that is what your stomach is supposed to be, just like mine. "Why would I eat 5 servings!?" Because we are food soulmates, Choji. Why are you breaking my heart?

"Guys, please stop!" Ino begged. "We're Chunin now, we shouldn't fight at all!" Um... What? Ino, we fight all day, every day. That's how we roll. She separated her two teammates. "Please?"

"Did you girls see that?" Naruto asked with wide eyes. "She separated them without yelling or hitting them! What the heck is going on?"

"I wish I knew," I muttered, rubbing my temples. Ugh. Everything was so backwards, it hurt my head.

Ino turned to us and smiled. A real, genuine smile. "Oh, hey, guys! If you're free, why don't you join us? The food'll taste better if we all enjoy it together!" She giggled and stepped in front of us, a huge smile on her face.

"Uh... Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that she willingly wants to hang out with us?" I asked, leaning towards Naruto and Sakura.

"Ever since Madara disappeared, our friends have been acting really weird," Sakura noted.

"Huh... Now that you mention it, I think you're right!" Naruto decided.

"So? Are you guys coming?" Ino questioned.

"Uh, well... A little while ago, Madara came here, but then he disappeared," He told them unsurely, awaiting their reaction.

Ino was confused. Her eyebrows knotted together. "What is Madara?"

Shikamaru pushed her aside, a stupid smile on his face. "You know, the cool sea guy!"

I facepalmed. "That's Madoross, you moron."

"You guys really don't know who he is?" Sakura asked, her green eyes wide.

"Did something happen?" Ino inquired. "The three of you are acting really weird."

"We're acting weird?" I asked incredulously. "You guys are the ones who are acting like you're on some serious crack and-" Naruto put a hand on my shoulder, stopping me. I followed his gaze and saw that Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji were staring at me with wide eyes. They really had no idea what we were talking about.

"Sakura, since you're the daughter of the hero of our village, why don't you talk some sense into her? I'm sure she'll listen to you," Choji suggested. UM, EXCUSE ME, MISTER SIR. I DO NOT NEED TO BE GIVEN SENSE.

I was about to flip out on him, but then I realized what he said. "Err... What?"

"Daughter of a hero?" Sakura repeated. "But I'm not-"

"Of course you are!" He exclaimed. "Just look." He pointed, and we followed his finger. Naruto, Sakura, and I all gasped at what we saw.

Instead of seeing the Fourth Hokage's face on the Hokage Mountain, we saw the face of Sakura's father carved into the stone.

Holy crap. It wasn't just our friends who were on crack. It was our entire village!

"That's my dad!" Sakura exclaimed. "But how...?"

"How is this even possible?" Naruto asked, his blue eyes wide.

"I don't know..." I muttered, unable to take my eyes off the statue. "All I know is that- Mmf!" My elbow was pulled, and I smacked against something. I realized it was a chest, but before I could yell at the person, a pair of lips covered my own.

Um... What? WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

Now, don't get me wrong, the kiss was nice and all, but I didn't know who the hell was kissing me. So, of course, I freaked out.

I pushed the person away from me, smacking them across the face. It was a good slap, too, definitely one that I was proud of. "DUDE! What the hell was that!? You can't just go around kissing strange-" And then I stopped. I halted. I completely ended my sentence.

Why would I do that? Now, the answer is simple.

The guy who had kissed me was Sasuke.

"S-Sasuke...?" I heard Sakura stutter out, but even then, I couldn't find my voice. I just stared at the ravenette in front of me, my mouth hanging open.

"What are you doing here!?" Naruto exclaimed, his blue eyes wide.

"I thought I was kissing my girlfriend... Ow..." Sasuke muttered, rubbing his cheek. "Jeez, Emi, did you have to hit me so hard?"

I didn't even pay attention to the fact that he had called me Emi instead of Minxie. I didn't care that Emi was the name my parents had given me. All that mattered was that Sasuke was here, back in the village, right in front of me.

"H-How are you here?" I asked, finally finding my voice.

"What? I can't be in my own village?" He teased, smirking down at me. I lost my voice again. All I could do was gape at him with my mouth open. "Psh, you look like you've seen a ghost. What's wrong, Emi?" There was actual concern in his eyes as he reached out a hand to put a lock of hair behind my ear.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure a part of me had died at that point.

"What's wrong is that you kissed her out of nowhere!" Naruto barked, pushing himself in between us. "And her name isn't Emi!"

"Jeez, why can't you be calm like Sakura over there?" Sasuke asked, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Relax, Menma."

"SAY WHAT!?" Naruto shouted, flailing his arms around. "Menma!? I'm not a piece of bamboo! My name is-"

"EMIIIIIIIIII~!" a voice screeched, cutting the blonde off. Out of nowhere, arms wrapped around me, and I was lifted off the ground. "I've been looking everywhere for you, baby sis! I was so worried!"

Wait... Baby sis? I looked at the person who was hugging me, and when I saw who it was, my eye twitched. It was Ryuu. Ryuu, my seemingly emotionless, allergic to feelings twin brother, was hugging me.

Um... What?

He finally put me down and noticed that I was staring at him. "What?"

"You hugged me. Willingly," I stated. "Why?" We had just gotten into a huge argument. Normally, he'd be ignoring my existence. Ryuu and I were alike in that sense; when we were fighting, we avoided each other because we were both too proud to admit we were wrong. I was usually one the one to cave in first, though, but why was he acting like nothing was wrong?

"Because you're my baby sister, and I love you!" He cooed. "I mean, look at you! You're adorable!" He put his hands on my face and pinched my cheeks, which wasn't adorable at all. It hurt like hell, and I could feel my cheeks reddening from the force.

My eye twitched, and I smacked his hands away. "Stop that! What the hell is your problem?"

"Honey, the only problem here is your attitude!" He sassed, snapping his fingers in a z-formation.

Oh, my God. My brother was acting gayer than a pink, sequined Gucci bag.

I was basically scarred for life at that point.

"OOH, BUT I LOVE YOU! LOOK AT THAT FACE!" Again, he pinched my cheeks, and I smacked his hands away. "Well, then, missy! I'll have you know- S-S-Sakura!" Ryuu completely transformed from sassy twin brother to nervous, blushing, stuttering teen in two seconds. "I-I, uh, I didn't know you'd be here! It's a great day, isn't it!? The sun is s-s-so bright!"

Please tell me this is a joke. Please tell me I'm being Punk'd. Please tell me that Ryuu didn't actually like Sakura.

Sakura looked both horrified and confused. "Uh... Ryuu, it's night time."

Instead of being offended at her correction, like he should have been, he blushed and squealed. He gripped my arm, shaking me rather roughly.

"She spoke to me!" He half-whispered, half-yelled into my ear. "She actually, really spoke to me! I can't believe it!"

I was absolutely horrified. My twin brother, my emotionless, stoic twin brother, was fangirling... Over Sakura.

Just let that sink in.

After seeing my brother do that, I thought that nothing else could surprise me. I was very, very wrong. Why? Because at that precise moment, Scarlett skipped toward us. Yeah, that's right. She skipped. And if that wasn't disturbing enough, she had a huge smile on her face. Instead of wearing tight black clothing, like she usually did, she wore a loose-fitting, bright pink kimono. That had flowers on it. And glitter.

I couldn't decide whether I should run or burst into tears.

"Hi, everyone! I'm so happy that I get to see all my friends again tonight!" She chirped, grinning at us. "Isn't Konoha just beautiful at night?" She actually acknowledged us as her friends. And she called Konoha, a place she had deemed as completely boring, beautiful.

Sakura, Naruto, and I looked at each other, and I knew we were all thinking the same thing: What the hell is wrong with everyone?

"Are you drunk?" I asked bluntly.

"Oh, Minxie! You're so funny! That's why you're one of my best friends," She giggled, side-hugging me. Best friends... What? "Of course I'm not drunk! Alcohol is bad for you! I bake cookies and feed homeless children instead."

"You bake cookies... And feed homeless children..." I repeated, trying to make sense of her insanity.

She smiled, nodding happily. "Yeah! I've done lots of work like that before! I just love giving back to people. In fact, the Hokage just approved my movement to find homes for orphans! Now, I'll be devoting half of my time to helping out at the hospital, and the other half to-"

"Ugh, can you just shut up!?" Someone snapped, and I looked up to see Luna approaching us, followed by Rin. "Thank God I'm blind, 'cuz if I wasn't, I'd want to rip out both my eyes and my ears."

"Thank you, Luna!" Scarlett giggled, "Here, have a cookie!" And without waiting for a response, she took out a cookie from the basket she held and shoved it into Luna's mouth.

"There goes my best friend with her brown basket again..." Rin sighed, running a hand over her face. "It's such a drag."

I was completely disturbed for about the twentieth time that night. Rin could see colors, meaning that she wasn't blind, but Luna was. Luna hated Scarlett, and Rin and Scarlett were best friends. Rin and Ryuu were obviously not dating, and Ryuu was head over heels for Sakura. Sasuke was back in the village, he wasn't crazy, and apparently, he was my boyfriend.

... We're obviously victims of some kind of sorcery.

When I spotted Kylie, Josh, and Mitchell walking towards us, I let out a sigh of relief. They looked normal enough. But the question remained: were they okay? Or were their behaviors completely warped, like the rest of my friends'?

"EEP! Scarlett's there. Holy God, Scarlett is there. I can't- I can't- I just- I can't breathe!" Those were the first words that came out of Mitchell's mouth, and whatever hopes of normality I had went straight out the window.

"Would you quit being a wimp, Hayato?" Josh snapped, sounding like a giant jerk, "Just grow some balls and ask her out."

"Why should he do that, Daisuke? He'll just be heartbroken," Kylie muttered, a gray storm cloud appearing over her head, "Love is pointless. We all just die, anyway. It's our destiny."

"P-Please don't be such a downer, Kimi..." Mitchell begged quietly, seeming to sink into the sleeves of his large shirt.

"Why not? Down is the only direction there is. There is no upside to anything. We cannot change our fate," Kylie deadpanned.

"Hey, idiots," Josh greeted in a tone that didn't belong to him. His tone was the one Mitchell used... You know, before all of our friends started using drugs.

"Hi!" Scarlett chirped, waving at him, "Would you like a cookie?" He shook his head -I was extremely surprised that he hadn't made a rude comment- so she turned to Kylie. "How about you, Kimi?"

"Cookie...? Huh... I suppose I'll have one," Kylie relented. "I hate sweet things because they remind me that life has joy, but it's a cookie's destiny to be eaten, so..." She took the cookie from Scarlett.

"Oh, Kimi! You and your depressing destiny talk is so kawaii!" Scarlett squealed. She turned to Mitchell, "Would you like a cookie, Hayato?"

"I-I... I-I..." Mitchell stuttered, his face turning bright red. "S-S-Scarlett..." And then he, Mitchell, the king of cockiness, fainted.

... I was about three hundred percent done with everything.

"What an idiot," Josh commented, looking down at Mitchell's unconscious body, "Anyway, are you guys ready to go?"

"Go where?" Sakura asked. She didn't seem excited to go anywhere with our currently creepy friends. To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to that, either.

"We're supposed to go to the bathhouse now," He replied in an obvious voice. "We do this at least once every week with the rest of our friends. What, does your huge forehead not have space for a memory bank?"

The pinkette's eye twitched. "Why you little... CHA!" She punched him.

"Isn't she amazing?" Ryuu sighed dreamily, watching her with hearts in his eyes. "I'm in love... YOU GO, SAKURA!"

I covered my eyes. "I'm going to vomit."

"Do you need a paper bag? Because I can run and get you one!" Scarlett offered brightly.

My eye twitched at her. Her sweetness wasn't helping at all. If anything, it made me want to puke even more. "That'll only make me sicker..." I muttered, hoping she'd drop it.

"Oh, no!" She gasped worriedly, showing that, much to my disappointment, she wasn't going to drop it. "Should I take you to the hospital? I'd be more than happy to!"

Luna rolled her eyes. "Of course you would. Goody two shoes..." I couldn't agree more.

Scarlett giggled. "Luna's always making jokes! She's the best, right?"

"She was insulting you, believe it!" Naruto exclaimed, smacking his forehead with the palm of his hand. Even he was disturbed by Scarlett's stupidity, and for him, the knucklehead ninja, to be disturbed by someone else's stupidity... Well, that's how you know there's something wrong.

"That's okay!" She assured. "I don't mind it!"

"Yeah, she's not as troublesome as every other person in our gender," Rin muttered. "Ugh, sometimes I wish I was a guy."

"Well, you already look like one, so why not?" Josh said under his breath, rubbing his head to try and numb the pain of Sakura's punch.

"I bet I'd have bigger balls than you," She shot back, glaring at him.

"YOU TELL HIM, RIN!" Ryuu shouted, "THAT'S RIGHT, GIRL POWER!" He held up his hand, and she gave him a high five.

I put a hand on my throat. "I think I just threw up a little... Can we go before I burst into tears?"

As everyone started walking, Sasuke caught up to me and wrapped an arm around me, "Don't worry, babe. This is how they always act."

Had he really just called me 'babe?' What the holy hell... Sigh. My eye twitched at his arm around my shoulders, and I sighed again, rubbing my temples. "And that's what worries me..."

Well, at least things couldn't get any worse.

~*~

I lied. Things got much, much worse, and they did so very fast. We were all in the public bathhouse with no clothes on. It was a full-fledged naked fest, and I was just not ready for it. It was worse than that one time Captain Yamato took Sai, Sakura, Naruto, and I to a hot springs.

I would have felt less embarrassed and uneasy if I didn't feel like I was surrounded by strangers. These people looked like my friends, but they didn't act like it. I picked my hair up into a bun and stood by Sakura's side. No way was I leaving the only normal person I'd encountered.

Huh... Sakura was normal to me? Never thought I'd think that. Do you see what my friends have done to me?

I felt bad for Naruto, who was on the other side of the wall, in the male bath. At least I had Sakura. He was all alone over there, surrounded by his personality-warped guy friends and their naked junk. Doesn't sound too fun.

"Ah..." Tenten giggled as she relaxed in the steaming water, "It was so exciting, even though I got hurt." There was a bandage on her nose. Apparently, she suddenly sucked with weapons. I should have seen that coming.

"Tenten, you shouldn't throw sharp things like that," Ino scolded shyly, smiling gently, "You might hurt yourself." The Ino I knew would have scolded Tenten by yelling at her. Then, she'd flip her blonde ponytail and start talking about flowers or something.

"It was her destiny to be hit by her own kunai, Ino, don't you see that?" Kylie muttered gloomily. Well, then. Guess Kylie is now Neji 2.0.

My eye twitched, and I whispered to Sakura, "Why are we here again?"

"We need to figure out what's wrong with our friends," the pinkette whispered back.

"I told you what's wrong with them!" I exclaimed sharply, "They're obviously all on drugs."

She sighed, shaking her head. "No. Look, there's something going on here, and we need to figure out what it is. Let's just see how things go, okay? Calmly and rationally."

I rolled my eyes. Calmly and rationally, she says. While we are naked, she says. IN A BATHHOUSE WITH OUR DRUGGIE FRIENDS, she says. Dear Lord. "Whatever..."

"Huh," Hinata began, looking at Sakura, "You still have a flat chest."

Sakura's eye twitched, and she covered her chest. "Excuse me!? What do you mean flat chest!?"

"She means flat chest, duh," Luna repeated with an eye-roll. Beside her, Rin was practically falling asleep in the tub, which made me assume that in this world, she was Shikamaru 2.0. She could end up drowning, but at least she'd get in some sleep! Fun, fun. Note the sarcasm.

"I have my eye on Menma, so you better back off," Hinata warned. She narrowed her eyes at me, "The same goes for you, you brainless twit."

I clenched my fist. Must not strangle Hinata... Must not strangle Hinata... Must not strangle Hinata...

Swallowing back all the creative, unholy insults I was going to throw at her, I shut my eyes. Once my temper was reigned in, I re-opened them, glaring slightly at her. "Look, there isn't anything going on between Na-Menma and I, okay?"

"Huh... Well, you do have a boyfriend, so... I suppose I'll believe you for now," She decided. "But if you get too close to him, you're dead meat, got it?"

I'm about to get a fork and stab you with it... I thought, scowling at her. I sent her a fake smile, "Totally."

We heard a loud crash from the next room, followed by Shikamaru's voice. Why was he suddenly an idiot? And Choji was the smart one... Ugh, everything was so twisted, it made my head hurt.

"But that doesn't mean you're excused, flat-chest," Hinata continued, glaring at Sakura.

"I said that Menma and I don't have any special relationship!" Sakura exclaimed. "We're just friends!"

"Liar! I know you like him!" Hinata shouted, clenching her fists and pointing an accusing finger at the pinkette. Suddenly, she stood up straight, her eyes wide. "No way... I know this feeling... Neji, you jerk! I'm going to kill you!" She quickly got out of the water, storming her way to the towel rack.

Oh, my muffins. I couldn't believe it. Since when was Neji a total perv!?

Scarlett squeaked. "H-Hinata, wait! Violence isn't the answer!" She grabbed a robe and slipped it on, heading after the angry Hyuga heiress.

"Violence is a part of life," Kylie muttered in a gloomy tone, "It's dest-"

"I swear, if say 'destiny,' I'm going to choke you!" I threatened, splashing her with water. If anything, the storm cloud above her head got grayer, but she listened to me and didn't finish her sentence.

We all got out of the tub, and I wrapped a towel around my body while Sakura slipped on a robe. In the changing room, Ino scurried to get her clothes on. It freaked me out. The Ino I knew wasn't insecure in the slightest. The Ino I knew would have stayed in her towel, not giving a damn, especially since Sasuke was in the next room.

Of course, things only got worse when Lee crashed into the room, along with a huge chunk of the roof. Ino and Scarlett shrieked, while Hinata, Sakura, and I fastened on our current clothing items.

"Lee?" Sakura and I chorused in unison.

"You bastard! You said you were going to be training, but you were actually sneaking a look at us!?" Hinata barked, grabbing the front of his shirt.

"N-No! Of course not!" Lee denied, squeaking. "I was on my way home after training, but I tripped on something! It was a complete accident, I swear!"

"Do you train on top of the bathhouse!?" Tenten demanded, fastening the clips on her shirt.

"Before I go kill Neji, I'm going to kill you!" Hinata threatened, lifting him up by his shirt. Damn, she was strong.

"Hey! What happened!?" Naruto asked, rushing into the room. The rest of the guys flowed in after him, and none of them had on shirts. Dear Lord. Ino and Scarlett squeaked, hiding behind Sakura and I.

"Lee was sneaking a look at us!" Tenten announced, pointing an accusatory finger at her teammate.

Ryuu gasped. "HOW DARE YOU LOOK AT MY SAKURA!?"

Sakura stared at him, and I could tell that she was wondering if she should be flattered or creeped out. "Uh...?"

"O-Oh, Sakura... Um..." He nervously scratched the back of his head. "Lee's the problem, not me! Quit staring!" He barked at the rest of the group. "Except for you Sakura. You can stare as much as you want." He winked at her, and I facepalmed.

"I can't believe Lee would do that! What a bastard!" Neji exclaimed. Ninja, please. He was looking, too.

"You're one to talk!" Hinata snapped at him. "I know you were looking, too, you perv, and now, I'm going to bury you!" She grabbed his face and pulled at his hair. While she was distracted, Lee scurried out of the room.

"He ran away!" Tenten exclaimed. "Let's go catch him!" She ran out the door, and most of the guys followed her. Hinata -when the hell did she put her clothes back on?- ran out of the room soon after.

"Okay, seriously, what is going on?" I asked, rubbing my temples. "When did our lives become a really bad tv show?"

"It's like everyone personalities changed to the complete opposite," Naruto muttered.

"All of them?" the pinkette questioned.

"My brother is shouting things like 'girl power,' and he giggles," I pointed out, my eye twitching, "They're all acting insane."

"What about Sasuke?" She asked, turning to Naruto.

"No, he didn't change at all," the blonde grumbled, "He's still a jerk who's completely full of himself."

"Really? Huh... Well, what if Lee didn't change? That means Hinata's going to beat him up for no reason," Sakura said. "We have to help him!" Naruto nodded in agreement.

I sighed. "You two go on ahead. I'll catch up with you once I'm, you know, dressed."

Naruto blushed slightly at my words, "O-Oh... Uh, sure." He and Sakura ran out the room, and I was left alone for what felt like the first time in forever.

I sighed deeply. Things were completely weird, and I didn't like it. Hinata was brutal and jealous, Kiba liked cats, and there was probably something wrong with Shino, too. Rin wasn't blind and kept acting like a female Shikamaru, Luna was blind and hated everyone, and Scarlett was suddenly a saint. Ryuu was joyful and liked Sakura, Mitchell was shy and fainted at everything, Josh was an ass, and Kylie was depressed and always spoke about destiny, as if she was Neji's clone.

Neji was a perv, Lee probably was, too, and Tenten couldn't work a weapon to save her life. Shikamaru was dumber than a piece of bread, Choji was smart and thin, and Ino was shy and insecure. And Sasuke... Was in the village, which was crazy enough.

I groaned, banging my head against the wall. Did everyone besides Naruto, Sakura, and I start doing drugs? I shook my head, grabbing my clothes from inside the tiny locker that I had claimed as my own in the bathhouse. When I shut the locker door, Sasuke was standing beside me. I was so freaked out that I dropped my shirt.

"HOLY CHICKEN FINGERS- Oh, Sasuke, it's you... Don't scare me like that!" I smacked his arm. "Why are you even here? This is the girls' dressing room and- You're not wearing any pants..." And that was true. The only thing he was wearing was a towel around his waist. He had no shirt on, either, which was incredibly distracting.

"I was wondering when you'd notice," He teased, smirking at me.

Even though I tried not to, I blushed terribly. I squeaked, and took a step back, "I-I really think you should go..."

"Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?" He asked, his tone laced with a cocky aura. I shook my head slightly. 

Naruto was right. Sasuke was as cocky as he'd always been... And with good reason. I mean, look at those abs! Those things must have been carved by God himself because hot damn- Oh, my God, what is wrong with me!?

"N-No!" I answered his question, hating myself for stuttering. "It's just... Not appropriate."

"Oh, really?" He took a step towards me. "And why is that, hm?" He trailed his fingertips along my arm -WHICH WAS NAKED- and I tried not to shiver.

"Because!" I exclaimed exasperatedly, taking another step back. "I am wearing a towel, and so are you! This is not okay!"

I felt an odd sense of déjà vu wash over me. Something like this had happened before. I was reminded of the time when Sasuke had backed me up into the corner of outside of the ramen shop, where we had our first kiss. Did that mean old memories existed in this new, strange world?

My train of thought was completely interrupted when Sasuke tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, "If the clothing is the problem, I'd be more than happy to help you get rid of it..." He tugged playfully on my towel.

I shrieked, wrapping my arms around my towel and hitting my back against the wall. I could feel my face burning.

He chuckled at my reaction, and I scowled at him. "What? I was just trying to help you get dressed." My expression didn't change, and he rolled his eyes. "I'm just teasing you. Lighten up, loser."

I froze. Loser. He called me a loser, just like the Sasuke I knew would. It made my heart practically leap out of my chest.

"I'm going to get dressed," He continued, as if he hadn't said the one word that had paralyzed me. He picked up my shirt, handing it to me. "I'll meet you outside. If we hurry, we might get to see Hinata killing Lee, if she hasn't done so already." With a farewell smirk, he left the room.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized that I'd been holding, allowing myself to slide down against the wall and sink to the floor. Loser. He had called me loser. He teased me, smirked at me, laughed at me. It was like we had resumed our relationship from three years ago.

A part of me wondered if this was what it would have been like if he had never left the village. Would we still have been together in the real world?

I sighed and shook my head, slipping on my clothes. My life was already complicated enough. I didn't need to ask myself any other disturbing questions.

Sure enough, Sasuke was waiting for me when we got outside. He made a move to hold my hand, but I started walking before he could do so. There was no way I was going to let myself enjoy being with him, especially when I knew that none of this was real. I didn't miss his hurt expression, though, no matter how much I tried to ignore it.

Thankfully, we caught up with our friends quickly, so I didn't have to feel guilty for too long. They were surrounding someone, and I realized that that someone was Lee.

"Did you really think you could escape from us without using any jutsu?" Tenten asked, her hands on her hips.

"I'm very disappointed in you, Lee!" Neji scolded, lacking his usual ninja headband.

Hinata grabbed him by the shirt, "Yeah, right! I saw you looking too, you perv!"

"It was an accident, I swear!" Lee denied. "I was jumping from roof to roof as a training exercise, but I got caught on something." He pointed to his shoulder, where there was a rip in his clothing. "See? That's why I fell into the girls' dressing room!"

"I don't want to hear your excuses!" Hinata barked. "I'm going to kill you either way!"

"YOU GO, HINATA! BEAT HIS FACE IN, YOU FIERCE LADY! MMHM!" Oh, God, Ryuu.

She didn't even blink at my brother's words of encouragement, which made me sweatdrop. If everyone was used to him saying things like that, then... I shuddered. When the Hyuga heiress lifted her fist, however, I decided to intervene, stepping forward and breaking up the group, "Hinata, wait!"

"What're you doing, Emi?" She demanded, placing her hands on her hips.

"We all need to calm down," Sakura advised rationally, kneeling in front of Lee, "He could be telling the truth!"

Lee got anime tears in his eyes as she held out a hand and helped him up. "Thank you, Sakura!"

"I'm pissed off!" Hinata barked, stomping her foot. "If you're lying, Lee, you're going to be dead by my hand!" She swung her fist, and Lee squeaked, moving back.

"Stop it!" Sakura scolded, putting a hand on Lee's bare shoulder, "Lee's not that kind of person-" Accidentally, her hand got caught on his torn jumpsuit, and the entire thing ripped off, like he was some sort of stripper. It exposed Lee, but instead of being shirtless in his boxers... He was wearing Tenten's bra... And her underwear.

Biggest. Eye-twitch. Moment. Ever.

"Why the hell are you wearing my bra and underwear!?" Tenten demanded, her expression showing how disturbed she was. "You stole it from the dressing room, didn't you!?"

Sakura, Naruto, and I just stood there. No movements, no words, no anything. We just... Stood there, as Lee sat on the floor, wearing Tenten's undergarments.

Complete and utter silence, and then...

"LEE, YOU PERVERT!!!"

~*~

Sakura, Naruto, and I sat together on the stairs right under the Hokage Mountain. I was holding my head in my hands, trying to erase the image of Lee in a bra and panties out of my head, but I couldn't. The sight would forever be etched into my brain.

"This is driving me crazy!" Naruto exclaimed. "I feel like I'm losing my mind, believe it! I don't know how to handle this. Sasuke's in the village, my name is Menma, your name is Emi... How the hell did this happen!?"

"Well, since Sakura keeps rejecting my drug theory... I think we're trapped in Madara's jutsu," I said. "When he threw that red orb into the sky, he took us out of our world and brought us to this one."

"Well, which world is this one?" the blonde asked. "And why the heck would he bring us here?"

I shrugged. "I have no idea... Sorry. That's as far as I got with that theory. Our friends creeped me out before I could get any further. And since I saw Lee in those... Well, I can't really think straight."

"Well, either way, we don't have enough information," Sakura added.

"Then we better get some," Naruto said.

"Yeah, that's what we'll do." The pinkette stood up. "And remember: you're not Naruto in this world, and you aren't Minxie. Your names are officially forbidden."

"Then what are we supposed to do?" He asked, flailing his arms around.

"Just pretend to be who you are in this world," She replied easily. "That way, we can get the information we want. Got it, Menma, Emi?" We glared at her, and she laughed and ran away.

"I don't know what my brother sees in her," I muttered bitterly, glaring after her. I blinked, "Oh, my God, did I just say that?" I put my face in my hands. "This world is messing with my brain."

"Tell me about it," Naruto agreed, a sigh in his voice. "Everything is wrong and it's freaking me out!"

"Ugh, this is all Madara's fault..." I complained. "He needs a girlfriend. Maybe then, he'll stop bothering us. Anyway, there's nothing we can do about it now. It's late. We'll have to collect information tomorrow." I stood up.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Home," I replied. "If it's even home anymore... If my house ends up being pink, someone is going to die." I shot him a small smile, waving. "See you, Naruto." 

He waved back, and I left him on the staircase. I made my way to what I hoped was still my house. Silently praying that it was, I knocked on the door. I don't even know why I was surprised when Josh answered.

"Emi?" He raised an eyebrow, yawning. "Why are you here? It's late."

"I know, it's just, um... Is anyone else home?" I asked.

"My parents are, obviously..." He answered. "Why?" Wait, what? He had parents now? Ugh... I was confused, even though I shouldn't have been. His name was Daisuke in this world, not Josh.

"No reason... This is going to be a really weird question, but I need you to answer it, anyway." He gave me a weird look, but I continued, "Do you know where I live?"

"Emi... Why do you not know where your house is?"

"I have... Temporary amnesia?" Yes, good. That works. I smiled sheepishly. "Can you please just tell me?"

He sighed. "Fine, whatever gets you off from my doorstep. Your house is down the road. You can't miss it. The Takeda estate is huge. Goodnight."

"Takeda estate? What do you mean-" And then he shut the door, cutting me off. My eye twitched. Rude jerk... I knew knocking again would be useless, since he'd probably just not answer. I followed his directions, and my eyes widened when I came face to face with a huge golden gate with a leopard crest on it, my family's crest.

"Oi, it's Princess Emi!" a voice said. "Open the gate!" 

The gate opened, and I stepped inside. Again, my eyes widened. There were dozens of houses all over the place. It was almost like a small town. In the center of the compound was a large fountain. There was a statue of a golden leopard on top of it. Almost all the lights were off, except for a few lanterns that hung from some of the porches. I searched for Ryuu's chakra, and I found it in the house at the end of the compound.

The house I approached was more magnificent than the rest. It was the largest one in the compound, and its architecture had an almost modern flair to it. The Takeda family crest was right above the doorway. Small plants bordered the front of the house. 

I didn't know what I was supposed to do. If this wasn't my house, and I went in uninvited, I'd probably get arrested. Or worse, someone would throw a sofa at me. Just because Ryuu was in there didn't mean it was our house. Besides, how was I even supposed to get in? The door was obviously locked. If this was my home, how weird would it look if I knocked? Ugh, being transported to an alternate universe is so complicated.

I decided to search myself, and I did a little happy dance when I found a pair of keys. Thankfully, the pair of keys worked, and I was able to open the door. I didn't know what to expect, so I entered the house cautiously. I realized that I was in the living room, and when I looked up, I saw that it was connected to the kitchen. When I saw who was in the kitchen, I felt my heart stop.

"Welcome home, sweetie." My mother's voice was everything I imagined it to be. It was sweet and comforting: music to my ears. She smiled at me, and I could practically feel the room lighting up. Her brown hair was picked up into a messy bun, strands falling into her face. Her features were soft, just like mine. Her turquoise eyes were bright and loving. "I'm glad you're finally home. I was afraid you'd miss dinner. How was your day?"

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I had no idea what to say. I still wasn't over the shock of finding my mother -who was supposed to be dead- alive and well, as if nothing had happened. She was standing in the kitchen, perfectly unharmed. It made me feel like I was in a dream, but even when I pinched myself, she was still there. I blinked, but she didn't vanish. She stayed there, right in front of me, looking beautiful, relaxed, and most of all alive.

"Ah, there she is," another voice said, and my father walked into the kitchen, leaning against the counter. He was completely casual, as if he wasn't supposed to be dead. "You were out pretty late tonight. You'd think that Sasuke would know enough to respect curfew. Maybe he and I should have a little chat."

Mom nudged him with her elbow. "Don't be unreasonable, Hasashi. It's not that late. Our daughter can take care of herself." She shot me a smile, then turned back to her husband. "Why are you always so bitter when it comes to Sasuke? You used to like him."

"Yeah, well, that was before he started dating my only daughter," Dad replied bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shook her head, rolling her eyes and turning to me with a smile. "Don't mind your father. He's just being over-protective, as usual."

I couldn't believe that they were alive, much less that they were actually having a conversation. I made an effort to shake off my paralysis when I realized that this conversation did, in fact, include me.

"I, um... I wasn't with Sasuke... Dad." I'd never really used 'dad' before as a name. It almost felt weird saying it out loud. My tone was quiet, because I was afraid that when I did finally address one of them, they'd disappear into thin air.

"Really?" Dad's eyes lit up, and I felt a wave of joy rush over me. I had spoken to him, but he hadn't disappeared. He was still in front of me, and he was still alive, along with Mom.

"Hasashi!" Mom scolded, smacking his arm. He clutched his arm, almost like he was injured, and I wondered if my mother really was that strong. Her expression transformed into one of pure love and concern when she looked at me, "Did you and Sasuke get into a fight, honey?"

"No, no," I replied, slowly making my way towards the kitchen counter. "It was just a little... Weird today."

"I see..." She muttered, tapping her chin. She made her way over to the fridge and pulled out a piece of cheesecake. She grabbed a fork and laid both items on the counter. "This should help you feel better. I know you love my cheesecake, so I'll let you cheat your dinner, just tonight."

She smiled at me, and I found myself returning the gesture without meaning to. Her smile was just contagious. I propped myself up onto one of the kitchen stools, sitting in front of the plate of cheesecake. "Wow... Thanks."

She leaned towards me and whispered, "We'll talk more about this later. You know how temperamental your dad gets when we speak about your boyfriend. If he hears us, he'll mope around for the next week. But don't worry, we will talk, I promise. And if your brother tries to eavesdrop again, we'll put peanut butter in his hair while he's sleeping." She winked at me and leaned back, continuing to prepare dinner.

"So, how was your day?" She asked out loud.

"It was... Interesting," I replied, deciding that was a safe answer. Today had been interesting. It had also been sort of terrifying, but she didn't need to know that. "What about you guys?"

"Well, since we just returned from a mission, I spent most of my day unpacking and laughing as your father tried to unsuccessfully escape clan meetings," She said, shooting her husband a smile.

Dad groaned. "Come on, that's not fair! After getting back from a mission, the last thing I want to do is hear any of the clan elders talk. It's boring. I still can't believe Hitoshi told them where I was..."

"He wouldn't be your twin brother if he didn't annoy you every so often," She said, laughing.

"I guess you're right... But I did get him back," He smirked.

"How'd you do that?" I asked.

"By tripping him and making him spill tea all over the clan elders, of course," He replied, smiling. "It was hilarious to watch him get yelled at by them. It was almost like we were kids again."

Mom shook her head. "Sometimes I wonder how you ended up being head of the clan."

"It was my charm, my strength..." He began boastfully, making her roll her eyes. Then, he went behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, "And my lovely wife. Seriously, if you hadn't married me, they probably would have been losing their minds by now. Everyone knows you're the voice of reason in all of my decisions. Right, Emi?" He turned to me, a smile on his face.

And just like that, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. I dropped my fork, and it clattered against the counter. He called me Emi, not Minxie. Emi was my birth name... But it wasn't anymore. This wasn't my house, and this wasn't my life. They weren't my parents, and this wasn't my clan. My real parents were dead, and my real clan was massacred.

I felt sick to my stomach. I had been so happy only moments ago, but now I just felt bitter. This world wasn't real. It was just a trick of Madara's jutsu, and I was letting myself get caught up in it.

"Actually, I think I'm going to go to bed..." I muttered, hopping off the stool.

"But we haven't even had dinner yet," Mom protested, frowning. "Your uncle Hitoshi and cousin Scarlett are coming over with dessert." I was a bit disturbed at the fact that Scarlett was my cousin in this world, but I felt too bitter and sad to think much of it.

"I'm not really in the mood for any of that," I said.

"Are you sick?" The genuine concern in her eyes made me want to stay, but then I remembered that her concern wasn't for me. It was for her daughter, for Emi, for the girl who I wasn't. She cared for the alternate universe version of myself, not for who I actually was. And that hurt more than anything.

That fact made me shake my head and walk to the staircase. "I'm fine. I just want to sleep early. Goodnight." I went up the stairs before either of them could ask any more questions. I made sure to avoid what I was sure was Ryuu's room. I didn't want to see anyone, much less someone who looked like my brother but really wasn't.

I opened a random door, and I was relieved when I saw that it must be my room. It had a balcony, and it was pretty messy, so I assumed it was my room. And if it wasn't, I didn't care. I just needed to get away. I shut the door behind me and locked it, throwing myself onto the bed. I stuffed my face into the pillow, groaning.

Why did Madara send us here? I felt like he was toying with me. My parents and clan were dead. I didn't live in the Takeda Compound, and I didn't have a huge family who loved me. Madara was playing a cruel prank on me, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. All I could do was try to figure out how to break his jutsu. Until I did that, I was stuck. I would be forced to live with a family who wasn't mine, no matter how much I wished they were.

Tap, tap, tap.

I ignored the sound, shoving my face further into the pillow. If someone was knocking, I wouldn't answer, and eventually, they'd have to go away.

Tap, tap, tap.

When I heard it again, I realized that the noise wasn't coming from the door. It was coming from the window, or, more specifically, the balcony. I rose my head, narrowing my eyes at the source of disturbance. Could it be wind?

Tap, tap, tap.

There were no trees against the balcony, so I knew it couldn't be wind. I tried to ignore it, but it only continued. Why was it that whenever I wanted to be alone, something always got in the way?

Tap, tap, tap.

I groaned, dragging myself out of bed and storming over to the balcony. I angrily yanked the doors open, stepping onto it and scanning the area. When I saw a familiar ravenette standing under my balcony, I wasn't sure if I wanted to scream or cry.

"Hey," He greeted casually, smiling up at me.

"Hey? You randomly appear under my balcony and prevent me from sulking in my room, and all you have to say for yourself is 'hey?'" I asked incredulously, glaring down at him. I blinked, doing a double take. There were pebbles in his hand. Please, no. Please tell me that the Sasuke Uchiha isn't really doing this to me, of all people. "Oh, God. Please, please don't tell me that you were throwing rocks at my window."

He sent me a sheepish smile. "Guilty."

I groaned, smacking my forehead with the palm of my hand. When did my life become some twisted, ninja version of Romeo and Juliet?

"Look, I had to get your attention somehow," He defended. "I need to talk to you."

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?" I asked, dreading this encounter. I thought about faking sickness, but if Naruto had been right about his personality not really changing, then he'd be able to see right through me, so that idea was out.

"If I wait until tomorrow, you'll spend the entire day avoiding me," He deadpanned, making me bite my lip. Damnit... Maybe my alternate universe self isn't that different from the real me, either. "So, are you gonna let me in or what?"

I glared at him, throwing up my hands into the air. "Fine, whatever." I stomped into the room, not bothering to look back. I heard the balcony doors shut after a few moments, signaling that he had appeared on my balcony and followed me in.

"Wow. Your room is a mess," He commented. "I know you can be an idiot, but there is such a thing as a broom, you know."

I glared at him. "Why did I let you in again?"

"Because you -no matter how much you deny it- can't resist my good looks," He answered simply, smirking at me. "Don't worry. No one can."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please..." I looked away, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at the wall.

I heard him sigh. "I'm just teasing you. Can you please look at me?"

"Sorry, can't. Your 'good looks' might blind me," I snapped sarcastically.

"Don't worry. Your eyes are already adjusted." I didn't answer, so he continued, "Can you just turn around?"

I whirled my body around to face him. "What the hell do you-" I stopped talking when I saw that he was holding a bouquet of red roses in his hands. They looked freshly picked and absolutely beautiful. "What are those?"

"They're flowers, you idiot," He replied, rolling his eyes playfully. "They're yours."

"Why?" I asked, eyeing him suspiciously. "Why are you giving me flowers?"

"Because I wanted to apologize for how I acted in the dressing room. You didn't seem like you were in the mood to mess around, but I bothered you anyway, so I'm sorry," He apologized sincerely. "And I'm really hoping you won't stay mad at me."

I'm not mad at you, I wanted to say. I'm mad at myself. I'm mad because I know that none of this is real, but you're making me wish that it was.

Instead of saying that, I hesitantly took the flowers from him. "Uh... Thanks." I gently touched the soft flowers to my nose, inhaling their sweet aroma. "They're really..." Beautiful? Too emotional. Gorgeous? Even worse. Pretty? Not good enough. So I, being the fabulous people person I am, finished with, "... Cool." That's right. I called a bouquet of gorgeous flowers cool.

I need to be put in a box and shipped off to Mexico.

If Sasuke was offended, he didn't show it. He only gave me a half-smile, "I'm glad you like them." I sent him a feeble nod, averting my gaze to the ground. "... This isn't just about the dressing room incident, is it? You're really upset."

"What? No, of course not," I lied, rather terribly, too. "I'm fine. You know, I should really get these flowers a vase..." I tried to walk around him, but he stepped in front of me.

"No. Quit dodging my question. What's wrong?" He asked. When I didn't meet his eyes, he put his fingers under my chin and made me look up at him. "You can talk to me. You know I'm always here for you."

The honesty in his eyes made me sick, because he really did care. That much was obvious. The only problem was that he didn't care about me. He cared about Emi, about the alternate universe version of myself. And that hurt, just like it did with my parents.

Still, I found myself wanting to confide in him. I wanted to tell him everything, because if he was anything like the Sasuke I once knew, he'd listen to me, and that was what I really needed right now. "Sasuke..." I looked away from him. "The flowers will get ruined and-"

"I'll get you more," He replied simply. "Honestly, do you think I care about flowers when there's obviously something bothering you?" He grabbed the bouquet from my hands and placed it on the desk behind me, making my eyes widen. He grabbed my hand and seated me on the bed, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at me. "Just tell me what's wrong."

I wasn't sure how long we sat there, staring intensely at each other. My emerald eyes glared at his onyx ones, but his gaze was unrelenting. Another long moment passed by before I groaned, throwing myself back onto the bed and shoving my face into one of the pillows. He was just as good at glaring contests as the real Sasuke was.

I groaned again when I felt a part of the matress sink slightly, meaning that he was sitting down next to me. Great. Now he'd never leave.

"I'm not leaving." Why, thank you, Sasuke, for confirming my terrible thoughts. Ugh. "I'll tickle you."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "You do that, and I'll punch you in the face. I swear it, Sasuke. Don't even try." I literally could not handle anyone tickling me. I might laugh on the outside while someone tickled me, but inside, I was plotting their death. It just would not happen.

He sighed. "Fine..." A pause. "I won't give you cookies anymore."

I snorted. "I can ask Scarlett for some." Psh, like I'd do that. Scarlett probably put in some weird happiness drug into her cookies. But I could just buy cookies, like a normal person, so either way, his threat had no foothold.

"... I'll call in your brother."

I could feel the entire room darken. I slowly looked up from the pillow to face him with wide emerald eyes. "You wouldn't."

"I take that as a challenge." He turned his head to the door. "OH, RY-"

"OKAY!" I practically shrieked. "I'll tell you, I'll tell you, just don't call him!" I turned over and sat up so that we were side by side, leaning against the headboard of my bed. I scowled at him. "You're a horrible person."

"It's one of the few things we have in common," He said, smirking at me while I glared back. "Now, what's wrong?"

There were so many things that were wrong, I didn't even know where to start. Our relationship was, sadly, one of them, because it was a relationship that didn't exist, even though I really wished it did. I drummed my fingers on my knees, wondering what I could tell him. I didn't want to lie to him, because I did find it awfully sweet that he cared, but it wasn't like I could tell him the truth, either. Naruto, Sakura, and I had decided to keep our real identities a secret in order to get the information we wanted. We couldn't tell anyone who we really were. Besides, it wasn't like Sasuke would believe me. Telling him that I was from another world would probably make him think that I was crazy.

"I just... I feel... Weird." Yes, that is my lovely explanation. I get all the awards, huh? Note the sarcasm. "I know that isn't really descriptive, but I can't think of any other way to put it. I feel like I don't belong here." Because I didn't. This wasn't my world, this wasn't my boyfriend, and this wasn't my family. "Nothing works correctly here. And I just... I don't..." I sighed, covering my face with my hands. "Sorry."

"Hey, don't be. I shouldn't have made you talk about it. Whatever it is, you'll be okay." He was trying so hard to comfort me, but it only made me feel worse because I knew it wasn't real. I froze when I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me into his chest. I felt like I had stopped breathing at that moment. "I'm on your side, no matter what."

Despite how much I tried to remember that this wasn't real, I felt myself relaxing into his hold. I let myself breathe again, taking in his familiar scent. It comforted me. I knew it was just an illusion created by Madara, but it felt so real. And even though it wasn't, I'd let myself enjoy it, just for a little while.

"Sasuke?" He acknowledged me with a quiet "hn" that made me smile to myself. That's something the real him would say. "How'd we get together?" I bit my lip, hoping the question wouldn't make him think something was wrong with me. I knew asking him was risky, but I couldn't help it. I was curious.

"Loser, I asked you out. Don't you remember, or did your bird brain forget already?" I half-smiled. He was teasing me, but he didn't know how right he was. I didn't remember because he never asked me out. He asked Emi. But he didn't need to know that.

"I didn't mean that. I meant why you asked me out," I said, hoping that that question made more sense. "And if you say something obvious like 'because I liked you,' I'm gonna punch you in the arm."

He let out a quiet chuckle, and I didn't have to look up to know that he was smirking. "I've known you since we were kids. You were the only girl who didn't fawn over me. I thought you were mental at first, because no girl in their right mind could resist my looks..." I punched him in the arm, and he winced. "Hey, let me finish, loser. I thought you were crazy, and when we got put onto the same team, I asked you why you didn't like me. You said, 'well, why should I?' No one had ever really asked me that before. They would like me for the obvious reasons. No one ever bothered to get to know anything else about me. You showed me that there could be more. It made me wonder. You made me wonder. And that's when I fell for you."

And that's when I fell for him. I knew that he wasn't real, and I knew that none of that had ever really happened in our relationship, but I really wished it had. I wished that I had dated this Sasuke instead of the one I knew. And in that moment, I decided that I'd enjoy whatever good things I had in this parallel universe, including my relationship with Sasuke.

"Emi...?" His voice was deep and smooth, as per usual.

It took me a few minutes to realize that he was talking to me. When I realized this, I gasped, taking in a greedy gulp of oxygen. "Sorry," I apologized quickly, "I forgot to breathe." I regretted saying that as soon as it came out of my mouth. I mean, 'I forgot to breathe?' How lame is that?

When I heard him laughing, however, I stopped feeling embarrassed. I really loved his laugh. "Figures you'd do something like that." He placed a lock of hair behind my ear. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Much," I replied, trying to ignore the shivers I felt running down my spine.

"Well, if that's the case..." His tone was playful, and his arms loosened around me. "You're free to go find your precious vase."

I rolled my eyes. He was only offering because he knew I wouldn't accept. He wanted me to beg for him to stay, because he was full of himself that way. Instead of stooping down to his level, I smacked his arm and buried my face into his chest, "Quit being an idiot."

He laughed and tightened his arms around me.

~*~

The next morning, I met up with Sakura in front of her house. She was in a very happy mood, and when I asked her why, she told me how much she loved living alone and being able to do whatever she wanted. An empty house seemed kind of lonely to me, but if she was happy, why not? Besides, she wasn't the only one enjoying the quirks of this new world. I had stayed up all night talking to Sasuke, and it was amazing. I even let him kiss my cheek before he left.

Sakura and I found Naruto on one of the benches in the village. His jacket was unzipped and draped around his shoulders, his hair was out of place, and he just looked like a complete mess. There were a bunch of empty food containers around him. 

The blonde was sulking, hanging his head, "I can't believe I had to sleep out in the open! In my own village!"

"Wow..." Sakura bit her lip, shaking her head. "That sucks."

Naruto jumped up, his eye twitching at her. "YEAH, IT SUCKS, BELIEVE IT! Don't act like you have nothing to do with this! You, too, brunette!" I held my hands up in innocence, but he continued, "Didn't you get lonely by yourself, Sakura?"

"Nope!" the pinkette chirped in reply. "It was actually pretty comfortable."

"COMFORTABLE!?" He exclaimed. "What is wrong with everybody!?" He fell back on the bench in defeat, his jacket slipping off his shoulders.

"Hey, cheer up," I said, nudging him slightly and picking up his jacket. "You just had a rough night. If you still can't find your house by tonight, you can stay with me. Okay?" I held up his jacket, and after pouting for a few moments, he sighed and lugged himself up. He held out his arms, allowing me to put the jacket on him. I zipped it up and flashed him a smile. "There. Better now, right?"

He was still pouting, "This sucks, believe it..." I pretended not to hear. By the time Sakura led us away so we could organize our information, he still hadn't cheered up. It took me pouncing on his back and promising him ramen so that he could stop sulking.

"Even though Madara made this place with his jutsu, I don't think he'd hurt the villagers," Sakura said thoughtfully as the three of us walked through the village.

"Our friends are still acting weird, though," Naruto said, "And they're not suspicious of us, even though we're probably different."

I tapped my chin thoughtfully. "That's a good point... Maybe they- Is that Sai?" The two followed my line of vision, and sure enough, our familiar teammate was standing a few feet away from us. He was dressed in a beret and pastel colored shirt, which kind of creeped me out. He was painting and... Oh, man, that painting was horrid.

"What a beautiful sight this is!" Sai gushed, painting without a care in the world.

"That looks like he painted it with his foot," Sakura commented, scrunching up her nose distastefully.

"Tell me about it... Is that supposed to be a bird? It looks deformed," I muttered, squinting my eyes at the painting. "Huh, maybe this is the change in Sai's personality. In this world, he's a terrible artist."

"That's what I'm thinking," She agreed. "Since everyone we know is acting so strangely."

Apparently, witnessing Sai draw like a first grader wasn't enough torture. Nope, we had to witness Shino exterminating the bugs that he used for his jutsu, too. This world was really messing with our sense of reality. When he spotted us, though, we ran. I wasn't entirely sure why, but I just followed Naruto and Sakura's lead. There was no way I was losing them when everyone else was acting weird.

We ended up in a more populated part of the village. Instantly, Sakura was swarmed by a crowd of villagers. They all smiled fondly at her, congratulating her. A group of children stopped her, asking her for advice on how to be a good ninja and calling her "a hero's daughter." It was weird seeing her get so much attention. In the real world, she wasn't a hero's daughter, so no one ever really swooned over her. She waved at the children, and the smiled at her and scuttled away. She stood up, a huge smile on her face.

"You're just soaking up all the attention, aren't you?" Naruto muttered bitterly.

Sakura made an offended sound. "What? Of course not! I'm just pretending to be the daughter of a hero."

"You sure? Because you looked like you were really enjoying yourself back there," I teased, only half-serious.

She pursed her lips at me, but eventually, she sighed, looking away. "Alright, I enjoyed it just a little bit." Behind her, Naruto's eye twitched. "It doesn't seem like it's dangerous, and it's pretty cool to live like this, so..."

"..." Naruto's silence scared me. I was going to ask if he was okay, but before I could open my mouth, he exploded, "You can't be serious! Come on! This world isn't real! MADARA MADE IT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

"Jeez, I know! You don't have to yell," Sakura said, holding her hands up in innocence.

"Well, we don't have a way out of this world yet, Naruto," I reminded, trying to calm him down, "I don't see any harm in enjoying it while it lasts."

His eye twitched rapidly, "So this world has gotten to you, too!? I can't believe this!"

Sakura sighed. "Look, we're just saying-"

"TOO BAD! I DON'T WANT TO STAY HERE ANY LONGER, BELIEVE IT!" He barked, completely cutting her off. With a vein bulging in his forehead, he stomped away from us.

"Hey, wait!" I called after him. "Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna get more information!" He snapped, not bothering to stop walking. And I'm telling you right now, his walk was not attractive. He looked like he was crippled, or like he had a really bad wedgie. "I'm not going to play around in this world!"

Sakura and I exchanged looks before running after him, "Hey! Wait for us!"

~*~

We decided to go and see Lady Tsunade, since Naruto suggested that the best way to get information quickly would be at the Hokage's office. Before we entered, we heard a voice through the door, "Impossible! The Lightning Nation's biju has been stolen!?"

Once we heard that, we didn't bother to knock. We all barged right in, demanding answers. Lady Hokage made a sound of surprise at our entrance, "Emi? Menma? Sakura?"

"What happened in the Lightning Nation?" I asked, not answering her greeting.

"Did something happen to Bee?" Naruto questioned.

"Calm down, both of you," She ordered. "I heard that the main force of the biju was stolen."

Shizune gasped, "Lady Hokage!" She obviously couldn't believe that Lady Tsunade was telling us what I believed was supposed to be classified information.

"The battle will occur soon. There's no reason to hide it," Lady Hokage dismissed. I took a moment to take in the differences between the Tsunade in front of me and the Tsunade I knew. For one thing, she was wearing glasses. Her chest was also almost non-existent. On the other hand, Shizune wore makeup and had a large chest, and Tonton skin was now black. My eye twitched. I should have seen that coming...

"Who on Earth are we fighting against?" Sakura asked, bringing me back into the conversation.

"I'm sure you all know of the masked man who is stirring up trouble in the nation by using many exclusive jutsu," Lady Hokage said.

"Masked man...?" I muttered.

"He's an S-ranked criminal," Shizune explained, "But I never thought he'd go after the biju."

"Biju and a mask, huh?" I murmured quietly, looking at Naruto and Sakura, "Guys, that sounds way too familiar."

"You're right," Sakura whispered back. "Madara definitely doesn't exist here, but he could be using another identity. Maybe he changed his name, the way you're Emi and Naruto is Menma in this world."

That was enough confirmation for Naruto, because he turned to the Hokage and shouted, "Where is that jerk right now!?"

"Forget about it! He's out of your league," Shizune scolded. "Dozens of shinobi, including us, have tried to remove him." She looked down sadly. "Lord Jiraiya went after him, but he didn't make it back."

He looked down, sadness taking over his blue eyes. "Pervy Sage..." I put a hand on his arm, trying my best to comfort him. Even though we knew Jiraiya was gone in the real world, remembering his loss still hurt.

"When he was alive, Jiraiya said that there is only one way to defeat the masked man," Lady Hokage spoke up.

"A sealed document," a strong male voice contributed. "We have to use the Red Moon Scroll."

Naruto stiffened. I felt his body go completely rigid next to mine. When he turned around, I followed his lead, and my eyes went wide at what I saw. Two shinobi stood in the doorway side by side. The female had long red hair, pale skin, and gray eyes. The male had blonde hair, blue eyes, and a kind face. My eyebrows furrowed. Why did he look so familiar- Oh. My. God. It was the Fourth Hokage, Naruto's dad. These were Naruto's parents.

I felt like smacking myself. How could I have been such an idiot? My parents were alive in this world, so why wouldn't his be, as well? I should have told him.

Sakura gasped, and Naruto eyes widened. "They're my... Mom and Dad... They're alive..."

What happened next was something I wasn't prepared for. In about five seconds, Naruto's mom had sprinted across the room, smacking Naruto roughly and making him crash into the wall. Her fiery red hair floated around her, separating into nine sections, almost like tails. "Is that what you're supposed to say to your parents who just got back from a mission!? HUH!?" Note to self: Never anger Naruto's mom. There is a 300% chance that she will kill you.

I decided to speak to Naruto's father, who seemed to be the more rational one, "Red Moon Scroll?"

"Jiraiya-sensei heard a prophecy at Mount Myoboku," He replied, stepping forward. Well, okay, Naruto's Dad. Completely ignore your crazy wife who just punched your son into a wall. That works. "The Great Toad Sage told him that a masked man would strike him down. In order to follow the prophecy, Jiraiya-sensei risked his life and got the Red Moon Scroll." He looked down. "His injuries were too severe. He died before he could get back to the village."

Well, that was extremely different. In the real world, Pain killed Jiraiya-sensei. I supposed that the Red Moon Scroll was this world's version of Jiraiya-sensei's coded message.

"Where's the scroll now?" I asked.

"It would be hidden at the border of the Fire Nation," Lady Hokage replied. "We finally cracked the code. Minato, Kushina, I want you to head out and find it as soon as Kakashi and Guy return from their mission."

"Granny Tsunade!" Naruto shot up from the floor, leaning on her desk, "Let us go on that mission!"

"Naruto, what are you doing?" Sakura whispered to him. "Why would you want to go on that mission?"

"We can't just sit here!" He exclaimed sharply to us. "If we stop the person who used this jutsu, we can break it and go back to our world! This might be our only chance to get back home!"

"He's right..." I muttered, having no choice but to agree with him. Whatever was going on had to be tied into how the three of us got here. If we could figure out how to stop this masked man, maybe we could reverse Madara's jutsu.

"This isn't the place for you three to butt in!" Lady Hokage refused, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Lady Hokage... I, too, ask for your permission," Minato spoke up suddenly, "I'll vouch for the three of them, if that's what it takes."

His offer has surprised everyone in the room, especially the Hokage, "Minato!"

"Don't worry. We'll come back with the scroll," He assured her.

She eyed him for a few moments before sighing. "Well, alright. If you insist."

He bowed slightly. "Thank you."

Naruto, Sakura, and I were still staring at him with wide eyes. He seemed to notice this, because he turned to us. He then flashed us a bright smile. Surprisingly, Naruto was the first to look away, a frown on his face. Huh... I wondered what that was about.

~*~

We left the Hokage's office while the sun was setting. No one had said a word for the longest time. Naruto wasn't speaking, and Sakura and I just didn't know what to say. I mean, what could we say? 'So, Naruto, your parents. You know, the dead ones? They're alive!' or, 'The sunset's great, isn't it? I bet your parents would like it, since, you know, they're alive now.' He'd probably hate us if we said anything like that.

"Well... That was a shocker." Wow, Sakura, way to point out the obvious. "I, uh, I didn't think your parents would-"

"That bastard!" Naruto growled suddenly, making us stop walking. "How could Madara do this? He even made those fakes! What kind of twisted person does that?"

"... You're not the only one," I said. "My parents... They're alive, too. I found out when I went home last night."

"You knew?" He asked, a look of betrayl in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Guilt bubbled in my stomach, "I didn't think yours would be, too. I'm sorry, I just... Seeing them was so surreal, I never thought that yours would also be here. God, Naruto, I'm so sorry. I should have told you. I should have told both of you." Sakura shot me a sympathetic look, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I flinched when Naruto punched the wall of a nearby building, thinking he was mad at me. Relief coursed through my veins when I realized he was angry at Madara, "Yours, too? Now, that's crossing a line! Madara's toying with people, and I hate it!" He turned back to us, a determined look on his face. "We need to find that scroll before Madara. Then, we'll finally get out of this stupid, fake world!"

He glared at nothing for a while longer. Then, he started walking away. Sakura and I followed behind him silently. We said an awkward goodbye and headed to our homes. There was nothing left to say.

~*~

Hours passed, and I still couldn't get Naruto out of my head. He had acted angry, but I knew him better than that. He was hurt. He felt like Madara was messing with him, and he hated it. He never got to really meet his parents, and having Madara throw that back in his face was just cruel. Naruto wasn't angry because his parents were alive again. He was angry because he knew they weren't real.

"Emi, honey, are you okay?" Mom questioned softly, "You haven't touched your food." We were sitting at the table, having a quiet little family dinner. Well, as quiet as things could be with personality-warped Ryuu around. Mom's cooking was delicious, but I had gotten lost in my thoughts and forgotten to eat.

"Did the black hole you call your stomach finally close?" Dad teased, smiling at me.

I could only half-smile in response. "No, I just have a lot on my mind."

"Did Sasuke do something?" He questioned, suddenly serious. "Because if he did, I will hunt him down and-"

"Dad!" I exclaimed, "Your protectiveness is on the borderline of caring and creepy." He sent me a sheepish smile, and I shook my head. "Anyway, he didn't do anything. He's great. He's perfect, actually." And that was true. When I got home, Sasuke was waiting for me. We spent some time walking through the compound's garden, hand in hand, talking about everything under the sun.

"You guys are so cute!" Ryuu gushed, making me want to vomit. Okay, it's official. He disturbs me more than Scarlett.

Mom laughed. "Well, if it's not about Sasuke, is it about Menma or Sakura? I know you spent the day with them."

Ryuu gasped. "You spent the day with Sakura and you didn't invite me!? HOW COULD YOU!?"

"You would've scared her off," I replied, although I wasn't entirely sure. He was kind of creepy, but he still had his looks. A part of me thought that Sakura wouldn't mind it if Ryuu was her stalker, since back in the real world, she though he was gorgeous.

"Nuh-uh," He argued. "You're supposed to hook me up! Why are you breaking the sibling code!?"

I ran a hand through my hair, sighing. "Ryuu, you're creepy, okay? Even if I did get her to talk to you, you'd end up blushing and stuttering, and then I'd vomit because it's just ew."

"RUDE!" He exclaimed, standing up and sassily making his way upstairs. I felt like gauging out my eyes. And my ears, too, so I wouldn't hear him. Yep, it was that bad.

"How do he and I come from the same family tree?" I asked mostly myself, shaking my head after him. My parents laughed.

"It's a mystery," Mom decided.

"Oh, and congratulations," Dad said suddenly. "I hear you're going on an S-ranked mission tomorrow."

"How did you find out about that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Minato and Kushina stopped by while you were out with Sasuke," He replied. "They told me you'd be joining them, along with Menma and Sakura and Kakashi and Guy."

I tapped my fingers on the table thoughtfully. Huh, so Dad and Mom were friends with Naruto's parents. It made sense. Naruto was my best friend, so of course, our parents would have to spend quite a lot of time together.

"They don't think you'll be gone for too long. You should be back by sundown tomorrow," Mom said. "But I'm still going to make you your favorite breakfast tomorrow morning. I should have time before your father and I head out."

"Thanks," I said, smiling at her. "But where are you two going?"

"We have a mission tomorrow as well," Dad explained. "It's not as serious as our ANBU days, but it's still an S-ranked mission."

"Will you be gone long?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound too worried. But I couldn't help it. I just started spending time with them. I didn't want them to leave so quickly. What if they didn't come back?

"No, we should be back before you are," Mom assured. "I'm sure we'll have dozens of stories to tell you. Your dad always does something outrageous for no reason at all during his missions."

"I always knew you married me for my spontaneity, along with my looks," Dad teased. I laughed.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, it certainly wasn't for your modesty." That time, we all laughed.

~*~

Mom stuck with her promise. She made me my favorite breakfast, pancakes, and bid me goodbye, along with Dad. Now, I was standing in between Naruto's parents and Sakura at the village gates.

The first thing I noticed was the obvious change in Guy and Kakashi. Sure, they looked the same as they always did, but I knew that they were different from the moment they started speaking. While Kakashi-sensei went on and on about youth and flashed us a thumbs up, Guy-sensei sulked in a corner, complaining about how old he was. It was like they had switched personalities, but by now, I was expecting it. Nothing in this world made sense.

"YES!" Kakashi-sensei exclaimed giddily, "Let us go forward with the power of YOUTH!" Oh, good Lord.

"There is no youth left. Don't you see that?" Guy-sensei muttered gloomily. "It's hard to keep receiving missions. We're not young anymore."

"Aw, come on, Guy. Don't be so down," Kakashi-sensei said, kneeling next to his rival, "We've got to keep the youth up in front of the kids! You can do this!"

I was so done with everything that I stopped listening to them. Sakura's dull expression mirrored mine. We were both completely over the whole 'warped personalities' thing. I just wanted to nap. Ugh, the sun was out. Why am I out? Ugh, stupid Madara. He was the reason I was getting up early. Worst guy ever, I swear.

Naruto was standing off to the side, away from all of us. When Kushina approached him, he waved her off, flinching away from her touch and running from her. Sakura and I exchanged a look and went after him.

I tried to reason with him, "Naruto..." I didn't really know what I should say. I completely understood where he was coming from, but being bitter towards his parents wouldn't make our situation any better.

Sakura, apparently, knew exactly what she wanted to say, "Hey, you shouldn't-"

"Just don't!" Naruto snapped, cutting her off. "I'm not Menma! Why the hell should I pretend that I am!?"

Sakura and I both knew there was no reasoning with him when he was like this. Still, the pinkette opened her mouth to scold him again, but I placed a hand on her arm and shook my head. She got my message, and we rejoined Naruto's parents by the gates.

I could already tell this mission wasn't going to end nicely.

~*~

A few hours later, we were at the correct location, according to Minato. We stood atop an elevated piece of land. Below us, there was a large plain of grass. At the center of the plain, there was a collection of trees that formed a circle.

"The Red Moon Scroll is over there," Minato said. "There's a good chance that Jiraiya-sensei placed a protective seal on it. Kakashi, use your Sharingan and check out the front."

"Well, you see, the thing about that is..." Kakashi-sensei sighed and slumped to the ground. "I've been working on my power of youth alone. Truth is, my Sharingan is all used up."

Minato sighed. "You really become helpless in the most important situations."

"I want to rest, too," Guy-sensei muttered, slumping against a tree, "I'm old, now."

Minato let out another exasperated sigh. "Emi, can you please check out the front? Since our accomplished jonin over here are too busy being dramatic."

I held in a laugh and nodded. "Right." I activated my Mind's Eye, using it to look into the clearing. I could tell that the scroll was in the center of the trees, guarded by a protective seal of some kind. "I see the scroll. You're right. I think Jiraiya-sensei set up a protective seal."

"Is there a way to get past it?" He questioned.

"There might be. I can guide us so we don't spring any traps," I volunteered.

"Hey, where's Menma?" Kushina asked suddenly, making all of us look at her. I blinked, turning my attention back to the clearing. Sure enough, my enhanced vision caught a streak of orange running below us.

I shook my head, resisting the urge to facepalm, "Take a wild guess."

Sakura groaned. "Oh, seriously? You've got to be kidding me!"

"I wish I was..." I muttered. "Especially since he's so close to one of the- WAIT, NO!" But sadly, I was too late. Naruto had already activated one of the protective tags surrounding the perimeter of the scroll. Smoke rose in the clearing, clouding my vision. When it finally cleared, I saw that Gamabunta and two other huge toads had been summoned, which was most likely Jiraiya-sensei's doing. We all sprang into action, jumping down into the clearing beside Naruto.

Kushina was beyond annoyed. "Menma, are you serious!? Why didn't you wait for orders!?"

"There's no point in arguing about it. Once he hit the seal, there was no going back," Minato said rationally. He approached the toads, "We're ninja from Konoha. We're here to get the scroll Jiraiya-sensei hid."

"I don't know of such an arrangement," Gamabunta said, "Our only orders are to protect the scroll!"

Naruto tried to reason with him, "Wait, Boss Toad, it's me-"

"Silence, brat!" He snapped, spitting out his ridiculously large cigarrette. It flew towards us, and we all had to dodge it so we wouldn't be squished to death.

"Is he unconvincible?" Sakura questioned.

"No, Sakura, he threw a cigarrette at us because he likes us," I said sarcastically, making her scowl at me. Minato ran forward, and we all followed his lead. Before we could approach the toads, a whole bunch of medium-sized toads jumped at us. They piled on top of us, squishing us together and preventing us from moving.

I heard the others talking, but I was too busy freaking out internally to hear them. Now, it wasn't that I hated toads or anything. I just didn't appreciate them trying to suffocate me. I had half a mind to rip them off of me, but I heard Minato's muffled voice warning us not to hurt them. I groaned. Why did he have to be so kind?

I couldn't believe that while there was a whole bunch of stuff happening outside, I was stuck in some weird ball of toads. Was this really how my story was going to end? Me being squished to death by a bunch of frogs?

No. I refused. I was not about to be bested by a bunch of wart-inducing amphibians. I pushed them off of me as gently as I could, resisting the urge to kick them into next week. No, I must be kind. Ugh, so much work. I finally made my way to the top of the pile of toads, letting out a deep breath. The second my foot made contact with the top of the pile, the toads all disappeared, leaving me stranded in the air. Figures. When I finally get out, they disappear. How rude. Anyway, before I could fall to my death, I manipulated my chakra and floated safely back down to the ground.

The spotted Naruto's blonde head of hair quickly. He was kneeling next to a redhead that I recognized as Kushina. Sakura was running towards them, and I immediately followed her. I tried not to gag when I saw the state of Kushina's foot. It looked severely burned, and I wondered how on Earth that had happened.

"What did I miss?" I asked.

"One of Boss Toad's attacks... It was meant for me, but she got in the way, and I don't..." Naruto could hardly form a sentence, and I couldn't really blame him. Kushina was a stranger to him, yet she had protected him.

Minato decided that we should move to a safer spot, so we relocated to the woods above the clearing. Sakura went to work on healing Kushina's injured foot, while Naruto and Minato spoke a distance away from the rest of us. I merely watched Sakura work, until I heard a loud slap. I blinked, turning to the source of the noise, which just so happened to be Minato and Naruto. Did Naruto just get hit by his Dad...? I looked away, knowing that if I was in his position, I wouldn't want any spectators. He'd tell me when he was ready.

"Ugh..." Kushina groaned, sitting up slowly. "What's going on?"

"I just finished healing you, but your leg is still in bad condition," Sakura replied. "You ought to get some rest and-"

"Where's Menma?" Kushina demanded, cutting the pinkette off.

I decided to step in. "He's over there, but if Sakura said you should rest, then I think that it'd be best for you to-"

"Menma!" Kushina exclaimed, effectively cutting me off. Redheads, man. So unreasonable. My eye twitched, and before anyone could stop her, she was up and limping her way over to Minato and Naruto. For a second, I thought she'd hit him, but instead, she wrapped him in a warm embrace. Naruto was shocked, but he eventually hugged her back. And for a moment, things were actually looking up.

~*~

You'd think that after almost getting suffocated by toads, the stupid scroll would actually be worth something, right? Ha, wrong. Turns out the scroll would only open on the night of the red moon, which meant that even after everything, we had to do even more waiting. Lady Hokage decided she'd store the scroll in her safe, and we were dismissed. Now, Naruto, Sakura, and I were walking through the village together.

"I can't believe this. We barely got the Red Moon scroll, and now we have to wait again," Sakura vented. "I mean, when does the moon even turn red? We should ask Lady Tsunade tomorrow to-"

"Actually, I have to go," Naruto said suddenly, surprising both of us.

"You do? What, do you have a hot date or something?" I teased, poking his shoulder.

Instead of laughing whole-heartedly, like he usually did, he laughed nervously. "No, nothing like that. I just have to go... Do something."

"Wow," I commented sarcastically. "Very descriptive."

"Sorry," He apologized sheepishly. "Maybe we'll meet tomorrow? Bye, girls!" And just like that, he zipped down the road, out of our sight, leaving Sakura and I baffled beyond measure.

"You think that has anything to do with his parents?" Sakura asked.

"I think it has everything to do with his parents," I answered. "Something in him definitely changed. I think it was when his mom hugged him. He actually hugged her back."

"Should we be concerned?"

"Nah, I don't think so. I mean, if he's happy, we should be, too, right? Besides, this is Naruto we're talking about. It's not like he'll forget about us."

~*~

Remember what I said about Naruto not forgetting us? Yeah, I was so wrong about that. As the days passed, I saw less and less of him. Eventually, I stopped seeing him altogether. Whenever Sakura and I looked for him, he was nowhere to be found. When we actually did see him, he always left before we could spend any real time with him. It almost felt like he was ditching us, and it hurt.

I get that Naruto was happy with his parents. Honestly, I do. But it seemed to me like he was getting a little too caught up with them. I was happy that he was happy, but this was crossing a line. I had my parents now, and although I spent time with them, I refrained from letting myself get too attached. Naruto, on the other hand, was getting extremely attached to his parents who, contrary to popular belief, were just a trick in Madara's world.

I wanted to remind him of that, but I had no time to. He was never around, and I didn't want to spent more days looking for him when I knew I wouldn't find him. Plus, to make matters worse, Sakura started acting miserable. She tried to hide it, but she was a terrible liar, so I saw right through her. When I tried to ask her what was wrong, she merely replied that she was fine and shot me a fake smile. It made me want to rip my hair out. She was falling apart, and I didn't know what to do. At times like these, I'd turn to Naruto. But, as you can see, Naruto was nowhere to be found, so I did all the worrying by myself.

And let me tell you, worrying is not fun. I don't know how Sakura does it. Worrying is exhausting. I'm pretty sure I had about three new gray hairs on my head. But did Naruto care? Of course not. He was off being happy in his new house with his new parents and his new life. Ugh.

It didn't help that Sasuke and my family all decided to become super observant, either. You have no idea how hard it is to play it cool when everyone and their mother is watching you, looking for the slightest slip-up. When the "I have a lot on my mind" excuse became over-used, I switched it to "I'm tired." I really hoped the red moon would happen soon. I couldn't keep making up excuses. It was exhausting.

Sasuke was, by far, the most observant, therefore making him the most annoying. He would always catch on to one of my moods and then proceed to interrogate me. When I finally caved and told him I was worried about Naruto, he got weirdly jealous, which I -don't judge me- found attractive. That lead a different conversational topic that eventually -by no fault of my own- turned into a makeout session. Ahem, anyway.

When I couldn't convince Sasuke that I was fine and get him to give up his never-ending parade of questions, I stooped to offering to go outside with him. He instantly agreed, which I had learned was because he was a total attention-whore. And attention is what we got. As soon as we stepped outside, all eyes were on us. People watched us as we walked, no matter where we went. I was pretty sure that if the ninja world had camera phones, everyone would be filming us. I dealt with it, for the most part... But then I heard the gossip.

It happened everywhere. People spoke in not-so-subtle tones about my life, as if it was some big tv show. Rumors flew all over the place. One said I was a seductress who lured Sasuke into my trap. Another said I was blackmailing him. Another said I was actually a damsel in distress who had captured his heart with my innocent doe eyes. (Don't ask me, I don't get it, either.) But the one that really took the cake was the one that said I was pregnant. Yeah, that's right. Pregnant.

To say I was livid would be an understatement. I was prepared to rip down the houses of each and every one of his fangirls until I found the culprit. If Sasuke hadn't pulled me away from the crowded village street, I probably would have. But I mean, could you blame me? Pregnant? Are you kidding me? It must have been some Immaculate Conception type magic, because I was in no way pregnant. Maybe Sasuke was slightly (extremely) perverted when it came to some things, but he respected my choice to not go all the way. People should have understood that.

What really pissed me off was that Sasuke said nothing to extinguish the rumors. He told me they would happen no matter what, but I knew better. He liked being talked about. He absolutely loved all of the attention, and he encouraged me to go outside with him so more people could see us. It made me angry. The real Sasuke would have never done that. Sure, he was insane and all, but he would have immediately silenced any ridiculous rumors, especially if he knew how uncomfortable they made me. But no, the Sasuke in this world was an attention-whore, through and through. Ugh.

These are the kinds of things you tell your best friend, but sadly, my best friend was otherwise occupied. And by occupied, I mean Naruto had dropped off the face of the Earth. He could have a least sent a card in the mail or something, but no, he just decided disappearing would be a good approach. I considered telling Ryuu or Kylie, but then I remembered that both of them were all personality-warped, so that thought was immediately void. There was always Sakura, but like I said, she was dealing with her own things right now, which I knew nothing about. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but I knew it was something, and I didn't want to burden her with my problems, so I kept my mouth shut. There was a 70% chance that I was going to combust before the age of 20.

Now, imagine my surprise when Sakura showed up at my house, telling me that Naruto was going to meet with us. I refused to get out of bed, because hello, that's so much work. I wasn't tired or anything, just lazy. She insisted that I needed to go, and I listened to her because it wasn't morning. It was actually pretty late at night, and I decided to at least humor her. I mean, she risked getting harrassed by Ryuu by coming to my house. It must have been be pretty important.

So, that was how I ended up here, standing near Sakura while we waited for Naruto. The blonde had yet to show, and I was so bored that I started picking at my nails. Eventually, I gave up on standing and slumped onto the floor. About fifteen minutes later, Naruto finally decided to show up.

"Ah, so I see you've finally decided to grace us with your prescence," I drawled. So what, I was bitter. He deserved at least some bitterness for avoiding us for so long. "Nice to know His Highness still has time for us regular folk."

Naruto was dense. I knew that. But my tone was so blatantly sarcastic, there was no way he wouldn't be able to identify it. Still, he ignored it, and I'll admit, that both hurt me and pissed me off. "You said you had something important to talk about. What is it? I'm kind of busy today."

Before I could reply with a vicious retort, Sakura surprised me by speaking up, "It sure seems that way." Her voice was soft, but I could tell that she too felt bitter about the entire ordeal. It was a mutual feeling.

"Well, you know, I thought that since we have to wait for the red moon, I might as well spend my time with my parents," He said easily. "They're awesome. Just yesterday, it was Mom's birthday, and she blew out the candles and the whole cake flipped over and-"

"Sounds like you're having fun," I hissed, venom in my voice. "I'm glad. I mean, you haven't seen us in days, but at least you're enjoying yourself. Maybe next time, you'll send a postcard."

He shot me a look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you even remember the last tiem you saw us?" I asked him.

"Of course I remember! I mean, just yesterday... No, a few days ago, we-"

"Seven days," I corrected. "A whole week, and we didn't hear a word from you. Do you know what that's like?"

"I'm sorry," He said sincerely. "But I was with my parents-"

"They're not your parents!" I snapped, sounding much harsher than I wanted to. Seeing his faltering expression, I changed my tone to a softer one, "Look, I know they seem real, but they're not. They're just characters in Madara's bizarre, other-wordly play. I don't want you to get hurt, so I'm telling you this. You know that, right?"

"Of course I know that..." But his voice was too low to show any real signs of confirmation. "I get it, alright? They're not real. But I just..." His voice trailed off.

"Naruto..." Sakura's voice surprised us both. "Are you happier living in this world?"

"What? Ha, ha, that's rich!" He laughed. "I mean, seriously? This world is just a fake! Like some big joke! Why would I ever..." He stopped talking. He didn't have to say anymore. He didn't say it out loud, but we got our answer. He liked this world better. It had everything he wanted. This discussion was over. And just like that, the three of us began walking our separate ways. I was fully prepared to go home, until I heard a huge explosion.

I quickly activated my Mind's Eye, and my eyes widened when I saw that the disturbance had come from the Hokage Building. I headed there instantly, and I wasn't the least bit surprised when Naruto and Sakura joined me. There was nothing like a loud, dangerous explosion to bring a trio of old friends back together.

Anyway, when we arrived, we saw some guy in a weird mask, surrounding by other unknown people, who had their own weird masks. Maybe it was International Mask Day, and we missed the memo? Wait, no, we didn't. Minato and Lady Hokage aren't wearing masks. But they are trapped by some odd purple forcefield... I should probably do something about that.

"It's the masked man!" Naruto exclaimed. What he should have been exclaiming was, "How on Earth did this guy make my kunai stop right before they hit him without touching them!?" But alas, the moment was gone, and we were on to more important matters, like yelling about Madara.

"No way! That's not Madara!" Oh, Sakura. Always the observant one. Note the sarcasm.

"Madara? The three of you know him?" Mask Guy questioned. Yes, that will be his name until discovered otherwise.

"Do you know him?" I shot back, trying to do some suspicious look with my eyebrows. I probably just looked like I was having a seizure.

Still, Mask Guy was kind enough to answer me and not make a comment about my awkward eyebrows. "He's fairly helpful." Well, that wasn't very helpful at all.

"Where is he?" Sakura demanded.

"Now, why would I tell you that? It seems that you're not even his partner," He said. "None of you are."

"Then I'll make you tell!" The pinkette jumped into the air, aiming a kick at him. Before she could reach him, one of his summonings roughly smashed into her, knocking her to the ground, which made me hate Mask Guy. No one got to mess with Sakura except for me. I tried to jump in after her, but Mask Guy's summonings surrounded me, preventing me from going anywhere.

"Give it a rest," Mask Guy said tiredly. "You're no match for me."

"No, I'm not..." Sakura hauled herself up off the floor. "But still... If I want to get out of this world, Madara needs to be defeated! I have no choice but to do this! As a real hero, you risk your life for your village... And I won't forget that!" She ran towards him, but one of his summonings sprung out their veil and trapped her in a cocoon of some kind.

"That's enough!" I shouted, floating into the air and successfully escaping his summonings. I flipped over, a Chidori illuminating my hand. He dodged, grabbing my wrist and sending me flying. I landed safely on my feet, and I was suddenly thankful for my ancestors' choice of the leopard as their summoning animal.

I made hand signs, and wooden chains sprung up from the ground, ready to wrap around him. He jumped into the air to avoid them, and I quickly followed him, punching him and sending him back to the ground. He landed on his feet, skidding backward and standing up shakily.

"Huh..." I froze when I heard his voice behind me, way too close for comfort. "You remind me of her."

I in the process of trying not to freak out, but his words confused me. "Uh... Could you be a bit more specific...?"

"She would have wanted to see you," He muttered. Well, then. Don't answer my question, Mask Guy. And why was he using the past tense? What happened to this 'she'?

"Sorry, but I'm not available," I replied. "Maybe some other time, when you're not being a total creeper."

"The time is now," He said, and without further ado, his snake summoning lashed out at me. It slithered on top of me, winding its body around my own and lifting me above the ground.

"Dude, get off! I'm not feeling the whole Orochimaru vibe you're going for! So let go!" I commanded, trying to wiggle out of the animal's hold. But it was no use. The snake wasn't letting go anytime soon. I searched for Naruto, but I couldn't find him, which was a good sign. If he was out of sight, he would be safe.

But alas, Mask Guy had made it his life's mission to crush my happy thoughts. He spotted Naruto and Minato, dangling Sakura and I over them.

"Then I will make you offer it to me. The scroll..." He nodded towards us. "In exchange for their lives."

"Um, I hate to ruin your whole epic threat speech, but if you try to kill me, there is a 100% chance that I will stab you. In the throat. Repetedly." Apparently, he didn't like hearing that, because I was knocked out and whisked away to somewhere else.

Well, then, Mask Guy. Be that way.

~*~

Why did everyone like to kidnap me? Was it because of my hair color? Ryuu never got kidnapped. So could it be a gender stereotype? Because if it was, someone was going to get punched in the face. Anyway, I just couldn't understand why people always liked taking me away from my friends. It was rude, and honestly, it was getting tiring.

When I opened my eyes, I realized that my wrists were bound by chains. I rolled my eyes. Big surprise there. Why did all my captors insist that my wrists be bound? Huh... Maybe they thought that I'd slap them, which was totally reasonable, because I would. Because honestly, if you kidnapped me, you deserve to be slapped until you take up a new hobby, like knitting. Not kidnapping teenage girls.

I was suspended on a high place that was outside. Huh. That was a first. Normally, after I was kidnapped, I'd be put indoors. Looks like Mask Guy strays from tradition. I looked around, and I was even more surprised when I realized that I recognized where I was. I was on the old training cave. Well, it was an old training cave. I guessed that Mask Guy used it as his hideout in this world.

"Minxie?" a weak voice called out, and I spotted Sakura standing a few yards in behind me. Her body was facing mine, and she, too, was bound in chains. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, you know, just chillin' after being kidnapped by a psycho. Same old, same old," I replied easily. "How about you?"

"I'm hanging in there," She said. "I'm not as used to it as you are, though."

"Don't worry, I'll teach you my ways," I assured her. "Just annoy your kidnapper. He might let you go. He also might kill you, but it's a 50-50 chance. Gotta take risks. You know, live on the edge."

She rolled her eyes, and suddenly, she gasped. I was going to ask her why, but then I heard a voice behind me say, "Huh, so you're both finally awake."

I groaned at the sight of Madara. He looked almost transparent, but with that mask, there was no way I'd mistake him for anyone else. "Of course you show up now. Kill any puppies lately? Or do you save that for after you harass victims of a kidnapping?"

"I forgot how entertaining you were," He said. "Tell me, have you enjoyed your time in Limited Tsukuyomi?"

"I am standing between an archway with chains around my wrists," I deadpanned. "What do you think?"

"It's no matter. This is only another reality created by my jutsu. It was once a training area used by Jiraiya and the Fourth Hokage. I suppose now, that masked man uses it as his hideout," He said.

"There's masked men all over the place, now, isn't there? You all should really check into an insecurity class. It'll do wonders for your self-esteem," I suggested brightly. "What do you even want?"

"You'll know soon enough," He replied, rather vaguely, might I add. "In fact, you'll both thank me later, for you'll never have to see things like this happening again."

Both Sakura and I were extremely confused at that, but our whole scene was interrupted when a familiar voice shouted, "I finally found you! Madara!" I had never been so happy to see a blonde in my entire life. "Once I defeat you, we should go back to our world!"

"Sorry to disappoint you," Madara said, walking through me. Yeah, through me. Freaky transparent jutsu... Anyway, he continued, "But I'm not your opponent."

As a response to his words, Mask Guy appeared, aiming a punch at Naruto. Naruto dodged, but he ended up falling off the bridge and onto the water below.

"Hand over the Red Moon Scroll," He demanded.

"I'll consider doing that if you let them go!" Naruto said.

Mask Guy sighed. "I suppose I'll just have to take it by killing you. I was going to fight you, anyway, since I get an ominous feeling from you. I shouldn't let you live. I don't like it."

Naruto was confused, but then he clenched his stomach. He charged at Mask Guy, but he clenched his stomach again and ended up skidding across the water. Mask Guy summoned his nine helpers again, which was totally unfair. There was no way Naruto could win like that. He was obviously outnumbered. I tried ripping out of my chains, but it was no use. I wanted to scream, until Naruto was whisked away to safety.

I blinked, trying to process what had just happened. How the hell did he get back on the bridge? Wait... Were those chakra strings? Why did they look so familiar? They looked just like the ones used for puppets and- Oh, my God. I'm an idiot. But I am a very confused idiot. Why? Because the one who saved Naruto was Sasori. Said redhead was joined by the rest of the Akatsuki.

All I could think was how horrible everything was turning out. The Itachi I knew wouldn't hurt me, but this was his alternate universal self, and I didn't know what to expect of that. Because honestly, if the Akatsuki had joined Mask Guy, we were officially screwed.

Naruto was apparently thinking the same thing I was, because he whined, "Oh, you've got to be kidding me! I have to fight you guys, too!?" He pulled out a kunai and prepared to charge.

"Don't be a fool," Itachi said blankly. "The Hokage asked us to come here."

"So... You're not here to injure and maim us?" I questioned, finally speaking up. The Uchiha shook his head. "Huh. Well, that's a plot twist."

"We were told to support your blonde friend so he could battle the masked man, hmm?" Deidara said. And that's when all hell broke loose. Literally. The Akatsuki separated, charging straight into battle. Thankfully, they were all still scarily strong, so I knew that Mask Guy's summonings would be no match for them.

Kunai hit the ends of the chains that were wrapped around my wrists, and I was set free. I fell forward in surprise, and I tried not to scream when I saw Itachi beside me. I heard another "oof," meaning that Sakura was now freed of her chains as well.

"I see... This is another twist of this world?" Madara murmured, standing a few feet away from Itachi and I.

"I never thought that the Hokage would ask Akatsuki for help," Itachi said, making me look up at him. "He's not the kind of person who can be dealt with using physical attacks." Looks like he was super smart in this world, too. "However, there's still a way." He activated his Sharingan, and I wanted to happy dance. Maybe he never trained me in this world, but he was still on my side! And he was really strong, too, so Madara would definitely have his hands full.

"Even in this world, your kekkei genkai is fearsome..." Madara said. "You always were a troublesome man." And then he disappeared, because he's a rat bastard.

"Please look after them!" Naruto called from below us, and then he ran after Mask Guy.

Itachi placed his hand on my arm, helping me up while Sakura walked over to us. No sooner than I was on my feet, an explosion sounded from inside one of the smaller training areas. I felt my stomach churn. That was where Naruto was...

Things only got worse when Mask Guy's defeated summonings sprung back to life. Their eyes glowed, and they all shot up into the sky, heading straight for the area of the explosion. Soon, the entire building was demolished. A giant black fox emerged from the ruins with... Naruto standing on its head? What, no, that was impossible. Naruto didn't have black hair. But why did this person have his face? Was this Mask Guy? It must have been, since the real, blonde Naruto was standing in front of him with wide blue eyes.

"What the hell is that!?" I shouted, my eyes practically bulging out of my head.

"He has the same exact face as Naruto!" Sakura exclaimed. "Is he the jinchuriki of this world!?"

"I'm his target!" Naruto shouted down to us. "The rest of you, get away from here!" The fox lashed out at him, and he barely had enough time to dodge.

"Naruto!" I tried to run to him, but Itachi's grip on my arm tightened, pulling me back. "What are you doing? He needs help!"

"We weren't ordered to fight against Nine-Tails," the Uchiha stated calmly. "We didn't get paid for it."

I glared at him. "I don't care! You can leave, but I'm not going to-" Nine-Tails slammed his foot on the ground, destroying the bridge and causing a wave in the water. Deidara grabbed Sakura, pulling her onto one of his clay birds, and Itachi picked me up into his arms and jumped out of the way. We didn't stop moving until we were perched high atop a tree branch, far enough from the scene so we wouldn't be caught up in the battle, but close enough so that we could see the outline of what was going on.

And let me tell you, this battle was crazy. I guessed that Naruto had released his own Nine-Tails, since there was suddenly twice the amount of explosions happening at one time. The land was completely demolished. I was worrying out of my mind, but I was also painfully aware of Itachi's hand on my arm. Yeah, that's right, he still hadn't let me go. He most likely thought that I was going to jump right into the battlefield, which was true, but would it kill him to be gentle? I mean, Deidara let Sakura go! So what, she's more rational than I am. That doesn't mean I should be held in place.

"Isn't this artistic?" Deidara cried, his eyes glinting while he stared at the scene. He was totally fangirling over explosions. What a weirdo. "The land will be all twisted and changed. Now, that's reat art, hmm?"

"... Even in this world, you're a weird art freak," I muttered, rubbing my temples. "God, I need to get you a girlfriend. Sakura, can you-"

"Don't even think about it," the pinkette snapped, scowling at me.

I pouted. "You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"Actually, I did, but I still don't care," She said brightly. "Now, quit being an idiot and watch the rest of this fight!"

"I want to be in this fight, but someone won't let me go," I said, shooting a glare at Itachi.

"It seems both Nine-Tails have disappeared," the Uchiha said, shifting his dark eyes from the battle to rest on me. After what felt like forever, he released my arm. "Your interference was unnecessary."

"Huh?" I activated my Mind's Eye and searched for any signs of chakra in the field. I blinked when I saw that Itachi was right. The Nine-Tails was nowhere to be found. All that was left was Naruto and Mask Guy, who were both laying on the floor. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw Naruto sit up. Of course, when I saw Madara appear, my sense of relief vanished.

As you all know, I'm extremely impulsive. It was my impulsive side that made me immediately jump off the tree branch and head straight towards Madara and Naruto. I heard Sakura call my name, and Itachi letting out a deep sigh, but I didn't care. There was no way I was leaving Naruto to deal with Madara on his own. His chakra was almost completely exhausted. He wouldn't be able to deal with someone as powerful as Madara in his current condition.

When I finally arrived in the clearing, I landed directly in front of Naruto. I was surprised to see that Mask Guy was up and running, but I didn't linger on the thought. Instead, I swung my leg at him, kicking him backwards and landing safely on my feet.

"I thought you took care of him?" I said, wanting to look back at Naruto but knowing that if I did, I'd be giving Mask Guy the upper hand.

"I did! Madara diffused into his body, and he's trying to take Nine-Tails by using his Sharingan!" Naruto exclaimed. "We need to get out of here!"

"I'll hold him off. You need to get out of here," I corrected. He opened his mouth to protest, but I shook my head. "Naruto, you barely have any chakra left, and you have no defenses against the Sharingan. My Mind's Eye cancels out the effects of the Sharingan. He can't use it on me as long as my kekkei genkai is activated. I'm the only one who can battle him right now, and you're his target. So go!"

I didn't wait for his answer. Instead, I jumped into the air, where Madara met me. He held a kunai, so I quickly unsheathed my katana and fended him off. When we both got back to the ground, he tried to punch me. I avoided his fist and flipped over him, sweeping my leg under his feet. He jumped so he wouldn't fall, and I growled, aiming for his head. He only jumped back, chuckling.

"I should have sent the Nine-Tails after you," He commented. "I always knew you were more troublesome than Naruto." He ran to me and swung his fist, but I ducked under his arm. "You should be thanking me, you know. Your family is alive, and Sasuke loves you. You have everything you ever wanted."

"You made this world as a trap," I reminded, glaring at him. "None of it is real!"

"Oh, but you wish it was." He smirked at me.

"I wish you would get hit by a bus," I growled, throwing kunai and shuriken at him.

He intercepted them with his own kunai, chuckling. "Now, now. Don't be bitter, dear."

"Minxie!" Naruto exclaimed, and I turned to him. I saw that he was undoing the Red Moon Scroll while the red moon rose, just like the prophecy stated. In my moment of distraction, Madara ran past me, slicing the scroll in half and rendering it useless.

"Naruto, close your eyes!" I shouted, but I was too late. The blonde looked up, directly into Madara's Sharingan.

"Forget everything," Madara commanded, "Nine-Tails is mine, now."

Naruto fell back, his eyes opened wide. Red chakra poured out from his body, bubbling around him and lifting him into the air. I aimed a Chidori at Madara, which he dodged, but I didn't really care. At least now, his spell on Naruto was broken. The blonde fell back to the floor, his eyes shut. 

Sakura jumped down next to him and shook him. "Naruto, come on! Get up!"

"I erased his memory," Madara said. "He probably won't be able to move."

"Sakura, heal him while I deal with Madara!" I called out to her.

The pinkette moved her hands, trying to do as I asked. "I'm trying, but he's not waking up!"

"Then beat him with a pack of ramen until he does! I don't care what you have to do, just wake him up!" I shouted at her, turning my attention back to Madara.

"Why bother?" Madara questioned as he blocked my punch. "You know it's useless. Naruto's memory is gone. Once I defeat you, I'll take the Nine-Tails."

"And what makes you so sure you can kill me, huh?" I flipped backward and made hand signs, and a wave of water washed over him. He was on his knees when the water cleared, but he was still chuckling.

"Who said... Anything about killing you?" He stood up. "You need to stay alive. Your friend, Naruto, however, doesn't, so he won't." Someone appeared in front of me and kicked me, sending me flying backwards into the air. I was pretty sure I was going to faceplant with a rock, so that was why I was so confused when arms wrapped around me.

I blinked, and my face split into a grin when I saw that Naruto had caught me. "Naruto, you remember!"

"I'd never forget you, believe it," He promised, grinning back at me. We landed on the ground, and he released me. "Nice try, Madara, but there's no way I'd forget who I am! My sensei gave me my name, and I- Who is that?"

Sadly, I couldn't answer him, because I had no idea who the person standing next to Madara was, either. I could tell from the body that it was a female, but that was about it. Her face was covered by a mask that looked painfully similar to the one Mask Guy wore.

Madara, on the hand, looked ecstatic in Mask Guy's body. He had a large grin on his face and an evil glint in his eyes. "Minxie, allow me to introduce you to your shadow self, Emi." Um... What? The girl beside him removed her mask, and sure enough, she looked just like me, only her hair was black, and her eyes were red.

"Finally, you and I can meet face to face," She said with a grin. "I must admit, I am a bit disappointed. You aren't what I was expecting to be my shadow self."

My face must have said it all, because Madara chuckled, "Are you really that surprised, Minxie? You and Naruto are jinchuriki. He faced his shadow self in this world, so why wouldn't I make you do the same?"

"I..." I tried to make my voice sound normal, but it was still shaky when I spoke, "I didn't take you for a man who likes to repeat himself..."

Emi laughed. "You were right, Madara. She is funny. Too bad she'll be dead soon." She lifted her hands to prepare her jutsu.

"You aren't touching her," Naruto growled, extending his arm in front of me protectively. Sakura joined his other side, glaring at the two enemy shinobi.

"Now, Naruto... How will you protect her if you're too busy fighting me?" Madara said, charging towards the blonde while Emi ran towards me. They forced the three of us apart, separating us. I was left to deal with Emi while Naruto and Sakura went after Madara.

Fighting Emi was exhausting. She and I were equal in everything. Her taijutsu was as strong as mine, her aim was as precise as mine, and her jutsus could cancel mine out perfectly. There was no way I could beat her. We'd probably just end up killing each other, which I refused to let happen. No way was I dying.

Ten minutes into our battle, I was ready to drop dead. She looked tired, too, but she continued to grin, as if all of this was going according to plan. When I tried to finish her with Chidori, she threw me roughly into the ground. I groaned as my body hit the rubble. Rocks digged into my skin, and my muscles ached. My entire body felt limp, and my vision was blurring. Emi lugged herself off the ground and walked towards me, grinning.

Suddenly, two large leopards jumped on top of her, pushing her onto the ground. She screamed, trying to fight them off, but her chakra was too low for her to do anything about it. Her screaming ceased in a few more seconds, and I wondered if she had died. I forced myself to sit up and look at the damage. Sure enough, she was on the floor, her eyes shut, and the leopards made their way towards me. A scream crawled up my throat, but then the gray one licked my hand, and the cut I had there closed.

I was completely confused. "Why... Why are you helping me...?"

"You're our daughter," a familiar voice said. "Of course they're helping you." I turned and saw Dad standing with Mom at his side. Mom's usually happy face was creased with worry, and as soon as the leopards finished tending to my wounds, she ran towards me, wrapping me in a hug.

"I was so worried about you," She whispered, hugging me tightly. "Thank God you're alright."

"How'd you know where I was?" I asked, gently hugging her back since I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"Your amulet," Dad answered. "When Minato and Kushina told us what happened, we immediately came looking for you. I'm so sorry we're late."

"No, no, you're perfectly on time," I assured. "I'm more worried about... Naruto!" At the memory of my blonde best friend, I escaped from my mother's hold and went out in search of him. I saw him hit Madara with a Rasengan, and they both flew backward. Sakura and I quickly helped him up.

Across from us, Madara's true form rose out of Mask Guy's body. "It has been sixteen years since I've tasted this jutsu." He drew out chains from within his cloak. "But this time..." He swung the chains at us, and I prepared to fend them off, but I didn't have to. Minato and Kushina appeared, slashing at the chains and saving us.

"How did you two get here?" Sakura asked them.

"Minato's kunai is tied to his jutsu," Kushina answered. Naruto pulled out an oddly shaped kunai, which I assumed belonged to his father. Mom and Dad jumped in formation next to Minato and Kushina, ready to help.

"Even if you say you're not our Menma, it doesn't feel like you're a stranger," Minato continued, speaking to Naruto.

"It seems the two of you have gained quite a lot in this world," Madara noted. "I will let you remain as jinchuriki... For now." Naruto threw a kunai at him, but he disappeared, his Sharingan shattering.

"Who was that?" Dad asked, an eyebrow raised.

"His name is Madara. He's the one who brought us to this world," I said.

"What on Earth are you talking about, Emi?" Mom questioned.

I sighed. "I'm not Emi. My real name is Minxie. I'm from another world. All three of us are." I gestured to Naruto and Sakura. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to deceive you."

"You're our daughter," Dad said obviously. "You look and act just like her. You're Emi."

"No," I denied sadly. "She is." I pointed to Emi, who lay next to Menma's body. A purple glow surrounded her, while a green glow surrounded him. Her hair turned back to brown, while his faded back to blonde. Kushina gasped and ran to her son, wrapping her arms around him. Mom quickly followed suit, gently lifting Emi into her arms. Minato and Dad joined their wives, kneeling next to them.

I felt terrible, so I quickly turned around. My body started to tingle, and I looked down and saw a white glow surrounding me. I wondered if I was crazy, so I looked at Sakura and Naruto. Sure enough, a white glow was surrounding them, too.

"Guys..." Sakura whispered, staring at her fading hand.

"It seems like you're going back to your original world," Minato said.

I looked down at my hand. "Yeah... I guess we are." I turned back to Mom and Dad. "Thank you both so much. For everything. I never got to meet my parents, but... I'm really glad I got to meet you two. You showed me what it was like to have a family again, and I'll never be able to thank you for that."

Naruto didn't face Minato or Kushina, but he spoke to them, "I want to thank you for coming here to save me. Being with you, even if it was only for a short time... I'll never forget it. Thank you for scolding me, for feeding me... Thanks for everything."

The white lite was quickly becoming blinding. Before it enveloped us completely, I heard Mom's soft voice, "The three of you... Stay safe." And just like that, we were gone.

When the light finally faded, none of us spoke. I blinked, trying to take in my surroundings. When I looked down, I saw a crater beneath my feet.

"This is the playground where we were, the night before Madara cast his jutsu..." Sakura muttered. "Do you think...?"

"I trust nothing," I replied, shaking my head. "The only way to really know..." I looked up at the Hokage Mountain, and sure enough, Minato's face was there, not the face of Sakura's father. Sakura and Naruto followed my lead, and they let out little gasps. "It's back. It's normal."

Naruto surprised me when he started to walk away. His cloth started to fade, and I rubbed my eyes, making sure I was seeing correctly. When I heard Sakura's voice, I knew I wasn't crazy, "Naruto, your cloak, it's..." The blonde turned, watching the cloak fade away until he was left in his usual black and orange jumpsuit.

He looked up at the Hokage Mountain. "We finally made it back home."

~*~

Sadly, the first thing we did wasn't napping. I wanted nothing more to go to sleep, but Sakura insisted that we needed to tell everyone what happened. We bumped into Kakashi-sensei, who, thankfully, didn't start talking about youth. When I saw him, I quickly ran up to him and screamed, "Kakashi-sensei, quick, say something youthful!"

My silver-haired sensei stared at me oddly. "No thanks, Minxie. I think you're mistaking me for Guy."

Anime tears streamed down my face. He called me Minxie! I basically tackled him into a hug. "YOU'RE BACK TO NORMAL! THANK GOD!"

"Minxie, people are sleeping," He scolded. "Why are you hugging me? And why are you three out so late? What on Earth is going on?"

When I finally released him, my team and I explained what Madara had done. Kakashi-sensei said we ought to report the incident to the Hokage, which was how we ended up where we are now, in the Hokage Building. When we recounted the story to Lady Tsunade, she wasn't pleased.

"Madara, that crafty bastard," She muttered angrily. "I never thought he would appear in the middle of the village."

"Based on their description, I'd say he used some sort of space-time jutsu," Kakashi-sensei said. "It seems that Madara has quite a few tricks up his sleeve."

"It's a miracle the three of you got out of his jutsu, but I'm glad you're safe," Lady Tsunade continued. "However, there's no telling what will happen if the villagers find out about this."

"We should probably hide this until we figure out more about it," Shizune suggested. "And that also applies to the jonin letters of reccomendation."

"Those are the last things on my mind right now," Lady Tsunade dismissed, moving the book to the side, "I'll just give them back as blank papers. There are more important matters to attend to."

We were asked a few more questions, but that didn't take too long. Eventually, we were dismissed. Sakura, Naruto, and I walked out of the Hokage Building together.

"I never thought I'd actually miss them, believe it," Naruto muttered.

I nodded in agreement. "Neither did I, but you have no idea how glad I am that they're back to normal."

"So am I. Their normal personalities are much easier to deal with," Sakura said.

"SAKURA!!!" a loud male voice shouted.

The pinkette blinked as her father and mother appeared in front of us. "Dad? Mom?"

"Finally! We found her!" Her dad exclaimed. "We thought you were a missing child when you didn't come home! We were just about to report it to the Hokage! Hahaha!" His joke made my eyes twitch, but Sakura had a different reaction. She ran towards her parents, jumping on them and hugging them.

Her mother was unbelievably confused. "What's wrong with you, Sakura? This isn't a reunion of separated families." Oh, lady, if only you knew.

"I'm sorry for not listening to you," Sakura sobbed. "I shouldn't have left. Please forgive me."

"Your mom does nag you a lot, but it's only because she loves you," her dad said. "So listen to her next time, alright?"

Aww... I'll admit, that was cute. They were all hugging, and it was a really cute family moment. I was happy for her, but also kind of sad, since I wouldn't be able to do that with my parents. One look at Naruto told me he was feeling the same way. We said goodbye to Sakura and made our way to our homes. 

When we approached the road where we separated, I turned to him. "Well, I better get home... You know, before Ryuu kills me."

"Yeah, that'd probably be a good idea," He agreed with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, believe it!"

I started to walk away, "Oh, and Naruto?" He made a little "hm?" sound, and I quickly turned back around and gave him a huge hug. "Welcome home." I felt him suck in a breath, and then his arms tightened around me. He held me tight while I gently rested my head on his shoulder. When I pulled away, I smiled up at him. "See you tomorrow." I sent him a little wave, and once he waved back, I made my way back to my house.

When I opened the door, Kylie was in the living room, pacing. She looked up when she saw me and opened her mouth to speak, but I jumped on her and cut her off.

"KYLIE!" I screeched. "Quick, say something about destiny!"

She frowned. "But... I'm not Neji!"

"YAY!" I squeezed her tightly, and she returned the hug. "I love you!"

"I love you, too! But I am also confused! Where have you been?" She asked once I let her go.

"It was crazy. You'll never believe-"

"Why the hell are you two yelling?" Mitchell asked grumpily, walking down the stairs. "Would it kill you to lower your voices?"

"YOU'RE AN ASS AGAIN!" I exclaimed, running over to him and hugging him tightly. "I've missed you, you precious jerk-face, you!"

"Minxie?" Rin's soft voice called when she entered the room. "I thought you-"

"RIN!" I released Mitchell and ran over to her. "Quick, how many fingers am I holding up!?" I held up four fingers.

She raised an eyebrow, "Is that a joke?"

"MY PRECIOUS ANGEL SNOW PRINCESS, YOU'RE BACK!" I lifted her up and hugged her. She squeaked, blinking her eyes and most likely wondering what kind of drugs I was on.

"Precious angel snow princess?" I heard Josh mutter in the background.

I dropped Rin and immediately ran to him, "Josh, can I have the hockey stick back?"

"No, because you'll hit everyone with it," He replied logically.

"Aw, you have a heart again!" I hugged him, making his gray eyes widen, but he hugged me back.

"I didn't see any of this coming." I heard Luna say.

I ran to her, "Quick, what do you think of Rin and Scarlett?"

"Well, Scarlett's my best friend, and I think Rin is absolutely adorable!" She replied brightly. "Why?"

"YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!" I picked her up, just like I had with Rin. She, like Rin, made a squeaking noise, obviously unprepared for my random hug.

"What are you on?" Scarlett snapped. Her voice was so snobby, it was wonderful.

I turned to her, grinning when I saw that she was wearing the tight, black clothes she always wore, "Scarlett! Make me cookies!"

"Ew, no," my Doppelganger refused. "Do it yourself, you idiot."

Anime tears streamed down my face and hugged her. "I love how much you hate me! Never stop, okay!? Promise!?"

"Okay, firstly, get off," She asked, pushing me off of her. "Secondly, if you ever hug me again, I'll rip your tongue out of your head, got it? And thirdly, what is your problem?"

Mitchell sighed, rubbing his temples. "I wish I knew. She's acting more idiotic than usual."

I was about to send him a witty retort, but the front door opened, revealing Ryuu, "I couldn't find her. I must have checked the whole village, but she's still not-" I abruptly cut him off by throwing myself into his arms. He seemed quite taken aback, because he almost fell, but he quickly steadied himself. "Minxie? How did you-"

"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed quickly, cutting him off. "I shouldn't have left after arguing with you. That was stupid. I know you hate it when I'm late. I didn't realize I was worrying you, and I'm sorry. I'll be sure to tell you whenever I'm going to be out late, okay? I promise."

"Where is all of this coming from?" He asked, his emerald eyes staring down at me.

"Don't worry about it. Just tell me you forgive me. Please?" I begged, pouting.

He sighed. "Of course I forgive you. I'm sorry, too."

I grinned. "Great! Then we're back to normal." I removed myself from him and turned to the rest of my very confused housemates. "You know what we should do? Have dinner."

"Dude, it's midnight," Mitchell deadpanned.

"... I'll make pizza," I said.

He sighed, knowing he wouldn't resist that. "Alright, fine." Everyone else was confused, but with a little more convincing, they agreed to have dinner at midnight. They totally love me.

"Man, I haven't had pizza in forever!" Kylie gushed. "The ninja world really ought to start making it. It's so good! I just can't wait!" She started dancing towards the kitchen. "I'll get the sauce-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And there it is! I finally finished the Road to Ninja chapter :D I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope you guys enjoy reading it. I know it's probably really long, but this was an entire movie, and there might be some of you who haven't seen it yet, so I don't want you to miss out on anything.

As for the real next chapter to TAA, it should be up soon, so don't worry about it. Hopefully, this chapter is able to satisify you guys for a while. I'm dedicating this chapter to AsphyXiat3, who was the first person to suggest that I do a Road to Ninja chapter. You gave me this idea, so thank you!

You know what just started recently? School. UGHH, WHY, AMERICA, WHY. I'm in the photo club this year. It's going to be my excuse for taking really bad selfies. Guys, Naruto is ending soon. I'm dying inside. I just want everyone to be happy. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK, KISHIMOTO!?!?!?

Anyway, I love you guys. Talk to you soon!

-smilescutie3311 xoxoxoxo