Well, this is finally it you guys.
The 100th chapter of this journal. The final page, the final chapter for it.
And I think, the final chapter for my journey through sharing my experiences on my gender through Wattpad.
It has been such an amazing year. Honestly, when I started my first journal around the end of May last year, I never expected anyone to read it. Other people's journals had two or three thousand reads, and I remember looking at their journals and thinking 'wow, I really wish I was their friend or knew them. They're so popular and awesome'. But now, now I sit here on my bed and just... stare.
My first journal has 27k reads. 27k. Can you fucking believe that? And this journal is approaching 10k. I can hardly even comprehend that this is real.
It's real.
I'm so happy to walk away from this experience with the feeling that I somehow did something. I shared my experiences, made friends, found people I care about, found a community of people who share my experiences and care about me. I feel like I have made some sort of positive impact here, even if I got to low points and could often spread unhappiness.
But that's okay. Because these journals weren't just here for me to pretend to be okay all the time. It was meant to be authentic and raw and real. And it has been. It was meant to share all of the experience, not just the good parts.
That's why it's called of a Struggling genderflux. I am a person struggling through with my gender and other issues. But you know what? That's okay. I'm glad to have shared my honest and real experience with you guys, and not just sugar coated something that isn't always sweet.
It's been a long, long year. I want to thank you all so much for reading over two hundred chapters of me, listening to me rant, and encouraging me when I'm down. You're all such beautiful people, and I'm sorry I haven't always been able to be there for you guys. I do read all your stuff, I'm just bad at voting or commenting. Not that that's much of an excuse, but I do want you guys to know that I see. I care about all of you.
What will the future hold? you may or may not ask. My honest answer is that I don't plan on creating a third journal. I think I've exhausted any topic I could possibly talk about anymore, and at this point my writings have turned away from LGBT talk to my own life and such. Which isn't bad, because that was also this journal's intended use. But I really wanted to spread experience and understanding of my and possibly other people's experiences, and I think I have achieved that goal.
This doesn't mean I won't be active on Wattpad. I'll still be around, reading your stories and writing other ones of my own. My dms and such will always be open, and I'll try to be more active on other people's books. Maybe I can start to read more journals too. Comment yours down below if you want me to read it, and I will definitely try.
Just because I'm stopping doesn't mean this is the end.
It's simply me starting in a new beginning.
Maybe one day I may make a part three. Who knows? If you guys decide to stick around and see if I do, then you are truly great. If not, you are still just as great.
I love every single one of you so much. I want you to know that you are all important to me, and you all matter to me so so so so so so so much.
And so I say, for the last time in this book and for now,
Markie out.
<3
Stay alive my friends.