I can do this.
I got this.
I'm outside of my apartment door. I have been standing here for five minutes now. I am scared, and I have no reason why. Something bad is going to happen, and I know it.
I finally collect all the courage I have and walk down the stairs. The elevator stopped working. I have no idea why.
Hannah wanted me to visit her tonight. That's nice.
I finally reach the entrance and grab the door's handle. Something is wrong here... something is missing... or maybe I'm just being paranoid.
The guys decided to not have the meetup in their place, meaning that I cannot continue onto my plan. That sucks. I need to find another time to get them together.
I take the bus to the coffee shop we all decided to meet at. I enter and see Dan and Phil already sitting there, Hannah next to them. Nice.
I walk to them and mumble a small hello, my confidence seeping away by the second as Phil stares into my eyes. Weird.
I sit down and make casual conversation with Phil, as he tells me about this new show he is watching with Dan. It seems like a remake to breaking bad.
I ask Hannah where Ashley is. Apparently, he's got the flu.
Lily, Pj and Chris finally arrive and sit at the table, Chris on my left. I casually say hello to them, and Chris just looks at the floor. After a while, I ask him, "What's wrong?" And he looks at me. "I'm going to the bathroom" Is all he says, getting up from his seat and going to the bathroom. What is his problem now? Did I say anything? I don't think so at least...
After a minute, I get up and go to the bathroom to see what is up with him.
Phil's POV
I need to tell him. I need to tell someone. If she won't listen, he will. He is one of my closest friends after all.
"Pj? I need to tell you something."
I would end it here on a cliffhanger, but FUCK it. I haven't updated in years a nice chapter. You deserve it.
"What is it?" He asks. I emotionally prepare myself for what I'm going to say. I take in deep breaths. I'm about to spill her biggest secret. Am I really doing this? Is it worth it? It doesn't matter, because I'm interrupted. "I'm sorry young man, is your name Phil? Phil Lester?" an old woman asks. Okay, not that old. Maybe in her mid fifties.
"Um, yes?"
"Someone is asking you on the phone. You will need to follow me."
I stand up and excuse myself as everyone looks at us weirdly. It doesn't make sense. Who knew I was here?
As soon as we enter the kitchen, she opens a heavy looking door, which was weird. Why would this kind of door be here?
But as we enter, she closes and locks the door behind her, locking us in here. Oh God, what is going on?
Your POV
"Chris? Are you in there?" I say as I knock on the men's bathroom door. He opens and looks at me in a weird manner. "What do you want?" He says while running his hand through his hair.
"Are you okay? Is everything alright?".
"Everything is fine, now leave me alone."
"Sure doesn't seem like it."
He sighs, running his hand through his hair again.
"Lily told me."
What? But how did she know? She couldn't have heard me film, could she? But why did she tell him and not be first? I thought we were like best friends. I knew I shouldn't have trusted anyone. Humans are all the same. I cannot trust anyone. I will have to make her move out, won't I?
"(Y/n)! You there?".
"Look Chris, it is not what it seems like. What Lily told you is not true. I would never-".
"Never what? Lie to your closest friends? Pretend that everything is a-okay, and that what you are doing is good for us? You lied, all the time. I don't even know who you are anymore."
I look down in shame. Did I really hurt my friends so much because of my stage fright and basically social anxiety? Did I really become the backstabber I wished I never was?
I sigh. This was difficult for me. But I can do this.
I can cope.
I can go through this.
And I will finish what I started.
"I'm sorry Chris." Is all I could say.
I left.
I went home, not caring about anything.
If only one of them was that mad at me, I shouldn't keep it secret from the world, or else all of my closest, best friends would be more broken that ever.
I run upstairs to my apartment, tripping a few steps. I was crying now. I broke Chris. I can't do more damage now. I have to stop lying.
I was already in my room. I grabbed my camera and set it up to film. No lighting, no mask, no nothing.
All eyes on me now. It is my time to shine.
"Hey guys.
You may be asking yourselves, who is this person talking? Do I know them? Do I recognize them? Their voice? Their everything?
You don't.
Because when I don't wear my mask, nobody recognises me.
The mask defines me.
I am the mask that I wear on the internet. And you know, it is really hard to connect with people when you wear a mask all the time.
You hurt people around you without realizing it, by wearing this mask that makes you immune to your own emotions. You hurt your own self without realizing it.
Let's be real for a second. How many of you have ever thought,
'Hey,
but who really is Arrow? We don't know anything about her as a community, do we?'
Well, this is me.
I have the biggest fear of crowds, and have met most youtubers without them realizing it.
Yes Tyler Oakley, I am that waitress at that coffee shop you gave a huge tip to once. Well, I was. They fired me. Thanks for that tip though.
Yes Dan Howell, Phil Lester, Chris Kendall and Pj Liguori, I am that girl you have been hanging out with for at least a month,
Yes Mark Fischbach, Sean McLoughlin and Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg, I am that girl that gave you free VIP passes at that party in 2014. Although, I really don't think you guys remember that. It was a fun party...
And yes Jack Douglass, or should I say John, I am that girl who dared to have a rap battle with you in 2015. Although, you were so drunk that I definitely think that you don't remember that.
The point is, none of you people know me, the real me. You only know Arrow, not (y/n). And I am going to change that.
As I, (Y/n) (Y/m/n) (Y/l/n) am making a change."
I grab my mask from my suitcase and bring it on camera.
"You see this, people?"
I rip the mask in half.
"No more fake identities, no more lies, no more Arrow. As of now, that username is no more. You may call me whatever you want, it is still my fake name.
From now on, this channel is not called ArrowTheGeek.
It is called (Y/n)TheGeek.
Thanks for watching and I will Seeya later."
And cut.
I immediately uploaded that video. I heard knocking on my door. I opened up and saw all my friends. Dan, Phil, Pj, Chris, Lily, Hannah...
Was I really too oblivious to see that all my friends were always with me in the first place?
End of chapter 26.
(As many as you deserve words).
(OK but really, it was 1200+).
Exams are coming up.
I'm on phone credit because my dad closed off the internet.
I had a lot of fun making that chapter.
What do you think about good ol' grandma? She cool or nah?
Bye bad bitchicans;)