[Edited: September 12, 2017]
[Warning! Could be a little triggering]
***
"Monsters"
Jungkook.
He's all Jimin has on his his mind right now. He's always been the only one on his mind.
The date yesterday, it was all Jimin could ask for. Jungkook was all he could ever ask for.
They didn't do anything but eat, talk about themselves and stare at the beautiful sky full of stars.
But Jungkook wasn't actually staring at that. He had something more beautiful to stare at.
Everything feels perfect now and it's like Jimin is actually, really, truly living in a dream . . .
. . . If only he hadn't read that text when he got home.
***
[Text]
Unknown Number: hey, dipshit
JM: sorry, i think u got the wrong #
Unknown Number: no im pretty sure ur the faggot who stole my boyfriend from me
JM: emma?
E: dont even fucking say or type my name, u slut
JM: i'm so sorry
E: godfuckingdamnit. u think u can change anything by apologizing like this?
E: i've always known u had this huge crush on him jesus christ! i shldve done smthing before u actually went down his pants, bitch
JM: emma, i didn't do anything like that. it wasn't my decision. i never even told him i loved him before he said it to me
E: oh so ur saying its not ur fault? u faggot
JM: stop this already
E: what? does it hurt? how much does it hurt? u suicidal slut.
JM: that's not nice. pls stop
E: what if i dont? what? ur gonna tell on me? haha ofc u wouldnt. ur just a coward. stupid little shit.
JM: emma im serious
E: wow well guess what. I AM TOO. what? u thought i wasnt? god, ur really stupid, arent u
E: not only r u stupid and annoyingly gay, you're also a slut who destroyed ur parents' marriage.
E: and u think u can destroy me and jungkook just as easy as u did to ur parents? u think i would easily commit suicide just bc jungkook left me? u think id just throw the ring he gave me easily? his promises? our engagement?
JM: what??
JM: you're engaged???
E: oh he never told u?
JM: that cant be. he's with me now. im sure he already broke it off with u
E: well ur wrong. he might be urs now, u might think he is urs now, but hes actually not.
E: he's just doing this to save u. how nice of him, right? how nice of jungkook to save his creepy, faggot, suicidal best friend.
. . .
E: oh ure not replying anymore? cant handle the truth?
E: i figured as much bitch
JM: shut up. you're just desperate and i know jungkook loves me. not u. i believe him. you just cant accept the fact that u lost your boyfriend to another boy. or a gay, as u say.
JM: you've embarrassed urself enough, so stop.
E: keep saying that to urself
JM: have a nice day, emma.
E: fuck you.
E: and i hope u die
***
[italic: jimin's pov // normal: narration]
How could she have known that? Where did she hear that? That wasn't even what actually happened!
Jimin's body collapsed on the floor of his bedroom as tears slowly fell down his cheeks.
I didn't destroy my parent's marriage. It was my aunt's fault. I didn't do anything. All I ever wanted was my mom, my dad and I to be happy. I just wanted to have a normal family.
He sat down and held himself. He rocked himself back and forth, back and forth like a little kid who's afraid of the monsters under his bed.
It wasn't me. It was never me.
But the thing is, Jimin's no longer a kid. And monsters under his bed weren't the ones scaring him anymore.
I tried so hard to forget about all those things and now . . . everything's just coming back at me.
But the monsters in his head.
All the memories, the pain . . . I can't push them away.
I can't breathe.
It seems like I can never really escape the past.
The past is tied to every single part of him.
I can't do this anymore. I need Jungkook.
The past is written all over his body.
But Jungkook . . . I don't want him to see me like this again. I don't want to drag him down along with my own misery. He's already so happy. I don't want to ruin all that just because of me.
The scars, were invisible and visible. There were too many.
Emma's right. I ruin everything.
Jimin stood up and grabbed a pillow from his bed. Underneath was a broken glass.
Everything's my fault.
He took it without hesitation.
I ruin everything.
The blade touched his skin and he didn't even flinch, considering he hadn't done this for weeks now.
Everything's my fault.
The pain was so familiar and surprisingly comforting. Just like always.
I have to save Jungkook.
The blood coming out of his wrists,
To do that . . .
also too familiar.
. . . I have to make sure the main source of his pain and suffering disappears.
And suicide . . . His best friend.
Forever.