Thinking about it, Gerard had to admit that there was something weird in the fact that the day he'd be taking twenty kids to France for some sort of half assed, funded entirely on the basis of blackmail, school trip was what he'd call the best day of his life.
Thinking about it, it had much more to do with Frank standing next to him outside the world renowned, fabulous, Bertfield High School, at four in the morning as they waited for the kids to arrive so they could get on a coach to the airport to catch a six am flight across the fucking Atlantic Ocean, with twenty school kids, which included Megan Clifford, but thankfully not Ryan Ross.
There had been a lot of suspicion regarding the bomb disposal unit turning up in the middle of the school production, especially directed at Ryan Ross, because well he just tended to be responsible for these kinds of things, however, Mr Urie, as always had vouched for him on the basis of personal belief alone, saying that Ryan had been looking forward to the play for weeks now and wouldn't sabotage it for anything. There was however, suspicion that it had something to do with a certain romantic scene between him and Michael Smith that was altogether very questionable.
In fact, the whole school play had been very questionable, and really everyone was just thankful that it had been shown only to students and not parents as they probably would have gotten sued by at least four different people.
Anyway, after the bomb disposal unit had gotten there, and everyone had been evacuated to go stand outside of the school, and Mr Urie had stood around looking really pissed off because not only had his play been interrupted, but he was fucking cold as fuck, everyone had sat outside for a good hour, and the rest of the school day had been cancelled due to a threat to the safety of the children.
Mr Urie had been advised to send everyone home but he was very stubborn about finishing the play, which however did never happen, as the bomb disposal until did actually find something in their thorough search of the school (Mr Urie was very glad that he'd smoked all his weed earlier that day, due to stress related issues regarding the play). What they found, however, wasn't a bomb, but... impossibly weirder, as that afternoon, the bomb disposal unit had walked out of school with a man in handcuffs, who nobody besides Mr Urie seemed to recognise.
Mr Urie was then very quick to refuse to tell anybody what he knew about the man, and attempted to run back into the school, but the head of the bomb disposal unit was very insistent that he stayed there and that everyone listened to what he had to say as he explained the situation, which was that the school was free of bombs, but they had found a homeless man by the name of Bert McCracken who had been living in the space between the walls of the school for what seemed like several years now.
After looking inside the place he'd been staying inside the walls, rather near to Mr Urie's office actually, they'd found excessive amounts of drugs, the bed that Ryan had stolen earlier that day, a literal fucking live pet owl, and all the chairs that had been going missing from the maths department.
As the man was taken away for questioning, everyone looked absolutely horrified by the fact that he'd been living in the walls of the school for years now, except, Mr Urie and Ryan Ross, as Mr Urie had already made it clear that he knew something, and well, Ryan just seemed to find the situation amusing more than anything else.
The truth was that Mr Urie had been aware of Bert McCracken's presence for several years now, but had always thought that he was hallucinating his voice because he was high, but no, the guy was actually real and lived in the walls of the school, and he thought it was a shame that he was getting arrested, because from their conversations he was quite a nice guy really.
He'd even helped Mr Urie rename the school five years ago, because he was stoned and he fucking felt like it, but he didn't know exactly what name to go for, and at one point he'd gone to the bathroom and returned to see that the name 'Bertfield High School' was carved into his desk. Mr Urie hadn't even entered the possibility that a homeless man had climbed out of the walls to carve it into his desk, and had instead assumed that it was a sign from God or something and just accepted it as the new name for the school.
Mr Urie began to wonder if he could possibly ask them to bring Bert back, because honestly he was really nice company, and it was even better to know that he wasn't just a voice that he'd been hallucinating when he was high. He might even offer him a job, it wasn't like they had standards here - maybe he could work in maths so he wouldn't have to steal all the chairs from there? Or that geography classroom where he'd stolen the bed from? Really there was quite the plethora of possibilities.
The bomb disposal unit had then asked what they wanted to do with the owl that Bert had been presumably keeping as a pet, suggesting that they could just take it to an animal center, but Megan Clifford had gotten up and very loudly protested it, and Ryan Ross had vaguely nodded in agreement with her, so Mr Urie had insisted that they kept the owl.
He'd bought a bird cage that day, and kept it on his desk in his office, claiming that it made the school look like it was practically Hogwarts, and even considered renaming the school to Hogwarts, but he'd really have to talk to Bert about that if he ever saw him again - he really hoped he didn't get arrested, but he didn't doubt Ryan Ross' ability to break someone out of a jail cell.
Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to ask Bert what the owl's name was before he was taken away, so in honour of The Fault In Our Stars: The Musical, the owl was now named Hazy G, and Mr Urie was looking into making it the school's mascot.
And this had all been quite amusing, but Gerard had been busy with a lot of work regarding the art trip and had missed the most of it, but thankfully, Frank Iero was there, in his home, every evening to fill him in on whatever he'd missed.
As the two stood there in front of the school, waiting for what felt like entirely too long as students began to arrive, Gerard began to realise that he was just generally incredibly thankful for Frank Iero in general, seeing as it was him walking in on Ryan Ross and Mr Urie and then proceeding in blackmailing them, that had actually realised Gerard's dream of taking twenty kids to France.
Gerard was beginning to question just why he'd picked this as his dream, but he was pretty sure that the answer lay in the way Frank was looking at him: so happy that this had all finally worked out for him.
Really, the only reason why Frank was going was due to Gerard's personal... well... opinion of him. After all, what use was an English teacher in France? On the form Mr Urie had vaguely suggested that he may be filled out if he felt like it, despite the fact that it was legally required, he'd listed Frank as responsible for first aid, despite the fact that he wasn't even sure if Frank knew shit about first aid, solely on the basis that it was the first thing he could think of, and also that time when he'd been dancing around the kitchen and accidentally punched the wall and Frank had put a bandage on it for him.
Frank was a little opposed to Mr Molko being there, due to the fact that he'd had an affair with Gerard a few years back, but Gerard had assured him that it wasn't at all like that anymore, and that he was here because he was the only French teacher that didn't make him want to pour bleach into his eyes, and they needed someone qualified in speaking French, because Gerard was determined not to admit that he could in front of the students.
Miss Ballato had actually organised the majority of the trip, and had sorted things out properly, and actually seemed to know what she was doing, and Gerard would argue that she could much better run this trip than him, but then, of course, Frank would tell him not to be stupid.
It was about quarter past four in the morning when Lindsey had confirmed that everyone had turned up, and Frank and Gerard made their way onto the coach, and Frank couldn't but laugh as Gerard put his 'serious professional art teacher face' on.
"Right, so we're all here, and we're all ready? Alright, everyone got their passports, and luggage, and other things that you might need?" Gerard trailed off, looking awkwardly in Lindsey's direction.
She rolled her eyes and stood up, addressing the coach full of students. "Alright, don't be too loud it's four in the morning, don't say anything related to terrorism at the airport, because they will take you away and we will not stop them, if whoever called the bomb disposal unit is on this coach, then please do not do that at the airport, or even talk about bombs or terrorism. If any of you are stupid enough to have any drugs on you, have fun at border control. Also have a good time and that, be don't get us in any trouble, alright? It's four in the morning, it's too early. Also if some random comes up to you and asks you to come into his van for some sweets, you don't follow him, alright? Mr Molko do you want to tell them that in French-"
"Do you really think that's necessary?" Brian Molko stood up, "look kids, if some random creepy French dude comes up to you and maybe seems like he's asking you to go somewhere, just kick him in the balls, okay?"
"Unless he works for the airport, or, you know the police." Gerard added, failing in looking even vaguely serious.
"Even better if he works for the police." Frank muttered just so Gerard could hear, and Gerard couldn't help but burst into laughter, causing the whole coach to look at them, and even the driver who they'd never met before, begin to ship Frerard.
"Anyway, okay? Should we do a final check that everyone's here?" Gerard looked up to see Megan Clifford waving a flag that read 'Frerard' with a rainbow drawn beside it really half assed in sharpie. "Megan, you're an art student, you can do better than that, come on." He rolled his eyes and made his way down the aisle to where Megan was sat, "hey, put it away or I'll confiscate it-" He was cut off as he looked to the seat beside Megan and saw Ryan Ross leaning back against the window. "You're not supposed to be here."
"I'm in your art class, though. What is stopping me being here? Come on, you can call Mr Urie right now and he'll tell you that I'm supposed to be here." Ryan insisted, smirking at Megan as he spoke.
"I do wonder why he would instantly confirm that." Gerard let out a sigh, knowing that Ryan did have a point. "You know just turning up to my art classes doesn't mean you're officially a member?"
"Surely if you didn't want me there then you would kick me out." Ryan held a very valid point.
"Hey, what's go-" Frank appeared behind Gerard, coming to the back of the bus to see what was keeping him so long. "Oh, Jesus fucking Christ-"
"Bonjour." Ryan grinned in Frank's direction.
"Is it too late to kick him off the bus?" Frank turned to Gerard, deadly serious.
"It'd piss Mr Urie off." Gerard gave a shrug, "and I kind of don't want him to set his fucking owl on me."
Frank burst into laughter at the mental image. "Look, okay, Ryan you can stay, as long as you don't act like too much of an ass, because in that case, we will happily fucking leave you in France. And if you ever need to talk to a teacher about anything on this trip, you go to Mr Molko, okay?"
Ryan nodded, "alright, whatever. You shouldn't hate him that much though, I mean he's clearly not trying to fuck Mr Way anymore, and has accepted that Frerard is real, like the rest of us."
Frank let out a sigh, "Fre-... Me and Mr Way aren't... it's not... you know what, Ryan, just shut the fuck up?"
Megan grinned as Frank and Mr Way walked back to their seats at the front of the bus, having recorded that conversation discreetly on her phone, ready for the Frerard 'France' video edit she was going to make and upload to her youtube channel, xxMeganCliffordxx, after the trip. She wasn't however sure which song she was going to make it to yet, but was entirely open to suggestions in the comments on her last video.
-
The journey to the airport had been bad enough, especially once they'd discovered that Ryan Ross had just decided that he was going to go on this trip, and especially since they all knew that Mr Urie would agree with whatever he said over them, and how that was all a bit fucked up really, but at least they had a happy relationship, being life ruining assholes together.
Gerard had attempted to get just a little bit of sleep, because despite better judgement, he'd spent the whole night awake, stressing and planning this trip, because it really did feel like his life depended on it somehow. Frank had come downstairs at three that morning, regretting his entire life and groaning really loudly about fucking school trips, until he spotted Gerard sat in the middle of the living room surrounded in all the paperwork that Mr Urie had entirely neglected to do, for 'personal' reasons.
Frank had asked him how much sleep he'd gotten, glancing over the room with concern, because it evidently didn't look like a lot. And in response, Gerard had given a shrug and answered 'enough', which Frank had rolled his eyes at before making the two of them breakfast and joining Gerard on the living room floor, making him promise not to ruin this for himself by stressing, to which Gerard had nodded vaguely and downed an entire mug of coffee in one go, and Frank really would have made him go to bed if they didn't have to leave in twenty minutes time.
Gerard had spent the journey with his eyes half closed, leaning onto Frank in what was a very dangerous position considering that Megan Clifford was only sitting a few metres away, but he was honestly far too tired to give a shit. But of course, the students were far too loud for him to even possibly consider sleeping, like seriously, there was some kid at the back of the bus shouting the word 'socks' over and over again; Lindsey had gone to see if she was having a seizure or something, but apparently she was just trying to name a dog on Nintendogs, you know, as you do.
Gerard was pretty sure he was feeling worse by the time they arrived at the airport, and that coupled with the fact that they actually had to get twenty sixteen to eighteen year olds through border control and onto a fucking airplane. He was really glad he'd brought Lindsey to leave her in charge in situations like this.
"Right," Lindsey got up as they parked in the carpark, and Gerard still remained mostly asleep on Frank's shoulder, or at least, he was doing a damn good job of pretending to be. "So, we're at the airport, so don't forget anything, because it's not going to magically come to France with you, okay? Make sure you've got your passports, your luggage, your friends, you know? If you leave anything behind it's your own fault, okay?" There was a lot of shouting as everyone attempted to grab their bags at the same time and at least three people got injured in the process of doing so, but it wasn't even five in the morning, so really, Lindsey would give a shit after she'd gotten a cup of coffee. "Can we all go out in a single file line, please? No shoving- hey, calm down-"
Gerard and Frank just sat there at the front, being entirely cooperative and helpful as Lindsey and Brian actually helped getting everyone safely off the coach with their bags. The only thing Gerard actually did was move away from Frank as he heard the sound of Megan's voice, because he did not want to see that fucking Frerard flag she'd made again before it was even five in the morning.
"Hey," Chantal was one of the last people to get off the bus, and easily the most tolerable student ever. "You don't look you got much sleep, Gerard." She offered the art teacher a lot of sympathy.
"Didn't." He groaned, glancing between Frank and Chantal. "Do we have to move now?"
"Yeah," Frank met him with a smile, before getting out of his seat, "come on, Gee." He helped pull Gerard up to his feet, and Gerard couldn't help but just want to lean into his side for like the rest of eternity and like maybe never leave.
"Gee?" Chantal raised an eyebrow at the two of them as she began to step off the coach. "Really didn't think it was like that, but-"
"Like what?" Gerard exclaimed, eyes wide and shaking his head in defeat.
"You know what." Chantal shot back after them, before going over to stand with her friends.
"Well that's another person Megan's converted to follow the Frerard religion, or whatever bullshit she's doing this week." Frank let out a sigh as they got off the bus.
"Religion?" Gerard raised an eyebrow, not entirely sure what qualified the entirely fictional relationship based on non-existent platonic feelings between him and the cute gay guy he just happened to live with... platonically.
"It's getting a bit cult...y... honestly, they're having weekly meeting, and there was something about a bible, but I'm suspicious that it's just a sexually explicit fanfiction." Frank's tone was reassuring in a way that really wasn't appropriate to the situation.
"Oh, that's fine, then." Gerard rolled his eyes as they began to follow the line of students into the airport. "Are you not still pissed off that she thinks you'd bottom-"
"Gerard." Frank's cheeks burned a deep scarlet colour, which of course, confirmed that Gerard had been exactly right. "Just because I once bought a dildo, does not mean that if we were to fuck, hypothetically, I would get fucked in the ass."
"Whatever you say, whatever you say." Gerard found himself looking entirely too much smug for someone accompanying twenty students into an airport before the sun had even properly risen.
"You know what?" Frank suddenly said, seeming far too enthusiastic for the time of day and subject of conversation.
"Mmm?" Gerard gave a nod of vague interest.
"How about we sort it out... statistically. So we count like how many times or how many guys we've fucked or whatever, and we work out the ratio of topping to bottoming, and whoever has the highest of each, well they-"
"You're supposed to be an English teacher." Gerard looked a little uncomfortable as he came to remember just how many times he had had a dick in his ass.
"Doesn't matter, though, I mean, with Max, we switched-"
"Oh god, don't talk to me about your sexlife with your ex-boyfriend, that's like, no, no, no." Gerard groaned, shaking his head in protest.
"So, I mean, what about you?" Frank shrugged it off, and threw the question in Gerard's direction.
"I mean, I honestly haven't had a lot of-... I haven't really, I mean I've done other stuff but for like a few years now I haven't really... penetration." Gerard's cheeks were now a firm, permanent looking shade of crimson.
"God, you're so awkward talking about it." He offered Gerard a grin, "it's kind of... have you really not gotten laid in years? You're far too hot for that to be true." Frank only really understood what he said after it had left his mouth, and the aftermath left them both looking rather out of breath as they stared at each other: wide eyed and in disbelief.
"I've done like... other stuff... just not... dick in ass..." Gerard trailed off, "I'm not that hot. Shut up."
Frank just laughed, "oh, come on. Look at yourself, you're hot, don't be an idiot about it."
Gerard couldn't stop an odd twisting feeling at the bottom of his stomach as he looked at Frank, already well aware that his cheeks were a deep shade of red. "I'm not that hot-" Gerard was cut off by a loud shrieking noise from one of the students.
"Oh Jesus." Frank let out a sigh and regretted his entire life.
"What's wrong?" There was a shout from Lindsey, who was doing the right thing of taking control of the situation when no one else could be bothered.
There was a moment of tense silence, before there was another shout. "Niall Horan liked my photo on instagram."
"I'm going to kill myself." Frank retorted, letting out a sigh.
"Oh come on!" Gerard gave a shout back, "he's like the least hot one out of One Direction-" He came to regret saying that.
"Excuse me!" There was another yell, "I don't know what planet you're living on where Niall Horan is ugly-"
"Yeah, come on," Megan even had something to say, which kind of wasn't a surprise, but they were talking about One Direction and not 5 Seconds Of Summer. "Louis looks like a rat, let's be real. I mean, Larry is real as fuck, #ExposeBabygate, but Louis isn't hotter than Niall in any fucking world-"
"Which is why Narry is the way to go," another kid added, leaving Gerard to realise that this group of students had much stronger opinions when it came to One Direction than he would have ever expected.
"No it's fucking not!" Megan was getting seriously passionate at this point. "Larry is real. Harry Styles a complex, wonderful human being who loves Louis on the basis of his whole personality and the parma ham based meal he cooked for him, which was the most romantic thing he ever did, and not just for how he looks. You don't just fall for people on solely how attractive they are, it's the meals they cook for you, and it's the way they care about you, and it's how close you are, and it's about how you'd never want to leave them. But also because you think they're hot, and we're not going to kinkshame Harry because Louis looks a bit like a rat, okay."
Gerard didn't want to ever admit that Megan's rather loud, obnoxious and unnecessary speech about Larry as they walked into an airport made him come to any kind of significant life changing conclusion, but thing was that it kind of did.
Over the past few years, he'd gotten kind of lost up in his own head, and out of relationships, and with just vague sexual encounters, and nothing really substantial with feeling behind it, and it had come to the point where he'd perhaps found himself clueless at what it really meant to be in love with someone, because it wasn't just wanting to fuck them, it wasn't just them being attractive - it was so much more than that, and it was all coming back to him now with butterflies and the time they'd spent together, and the time they'd spent with each other being entirely oblivious, and how that was entirely too long now, because he was beautiful, and he meant the entire world, even looking like shit at five in the morning, looking as pissed off as possible.
Gerard Way was just maybe just... sort of well... in love with Frank Iero. It seemed Megan Clifford had been right about something after all, and he could just only hope that she was right about him feeling the same, because if it wasn't like that, Gerard just didn't quite know what to do with himself anymore, because that realisation, and that moment had just changed everything.
And Gerard did hate to say it, but Larry had technically changed his life.
-
They'd managed to get through check in and security without any bomb threats or people needing to be taken away, which was, in Gerard's mind, at least, a miracle, and he was just more than happy to be in Starbucks now, hiding away behind an excessively sized and overpriced caffeinated beverage.
"You feeling better now?" Frank gave him a smile from across the table, watching as the older man seemed to curl up in on himself behind his cup of coffee - it was kind of adorable, or something like that. Although, Frank wasn't at all sure why he'd possibly be considering Gerard as adorable, he just... okay, maybe Frank did know why, but in all honesty, he was just doing his best never to think about those kinds of things again; he couldn't fuck this up for him, this trip was what Gerard had wanted most for years now and simply couldn't afford to fuck that up.
"Yeah..." Gerard returned his smile, taking a sip of his drink, and letting his gaze fall out past the Starbucks and across the airport. "I kind of can't believe that we're actually doing this, like that this is actually real. Honestly, I just, thank you so much, you were the one that made this happen for me, and honestly..." Gerard trailed off, finding his stomach doing fucking backflips in his chest.
"It's alright." Frank finished for him, seeing that Gerard was struggling to come to any kind of conclusion on his own. Frank put it down to the morning, because in his mind, there was absolutely nothing else it could be. "All I did really was permanently mentally scar myself by walking in on Mr Urie and Ryan Ross... well... yeah... fuck, Ryan does really have the whole world handed to him by sucking his dick..." Frank trailed off, lost in thought as he caught sight of Megan and Ryan sat at the other side of the Starbucks.
"I'm not entirely sure how he managed to pull of just accepting himself into my art class, I mean, maybe I should have kicked him out when he first started coming, but Megan was actually causing much less trouble when she had Ryan to talk to, or maybe it just seemed like much less in comparison to Ryan, I don't know. But I guess I figured that it's best he was actually in a class for once, because I'm pretty sure he just doesn't turn up to like eighty percent of his classes... more than eighty probably, I don't know..." Gerard trailed off, shaking his head slightly.
"That's good of you, though," Frank pulled his gaze away from Megan and Ryan before they noticed him staring and Megan started to wave the Frerard flag she'd made at him or something. He hoped to god it would have been confiscated by security for god knows what reason, but he honestly just wanted it out of his fucking life. "Most teachers would just kick him out. I would. I can't stand him, really, I mean, Megan's alright... I guess I used to hate Megan but then I got to know her and she's alright really, she's a bit, well, full on, but she means well, I wonder if it's just because I don't really know Ryan, but then again, he's like the evolved worse version of Megan, and she's already pushing it with me."
"I think my most vivid memory of Ryan Ross was when he climbed into my classroom through a window in the roof after setting his maths classroom on fire." Gerard let out a sigh, "that was an interesting day. I mean, at least he wouldn't be able to take anything too bad through security, so we're alright really."
"Do not underestimate his ability to hide something up his ass." Frank cringed at the mental image. "He's probably got weed up his ass right now."
"Thanks for that." Gerard commented, burying his face in his arms. "I'm so fucking tired..." He groaned, "if I can't sleep on the plane, I swear to god I'll die or something-"
"Should I go around telling everyone to shut the fuck up so you can get your sleep?" Frank offered, leaving Gerard to look up at him, cheeks slightly pink. "I'll tell Megan that Frerard's real if she'd shut up for you."
Gerard let out what was essentially a giggle. "Lovely of you. Honestly though she'd be less likely to ever shut up if you told her that."
"I honestly don't get why she's so obsessed with it, though, I mean, I guess... I did have my Destiel phase, but... moving on... well... I mean, those were fictional characters who did have quite a bit of homoerotic subtext, and I... mean... I guess we do live together and we're both gay, but it's a bit weird that we're her teachers, I mean, to be honest, though, I do not feel like I am at all competent or responsible enough to be a teacher."
Gerard gave a laugh, "good thing you work here where Mr Urie doesn't give one single fuck about how unqualified you are."
Frank nodded, thinking back to the first time he'd met him. "My first real memory of him was him being very insistent that I closed his office door, which was really weird. He did save me from bitchy Agnes at reception. But then practically the first thing he said to me about the job was please don't fuck the students," Gerard scoffed, rolling his eyes, "and then not setting the school on fire, and I think maybe not killing anyone. So I've done excellent by Mr Urie's standards."
"The point being that he doesn't have standards." Gerard flashed him a smirk.
"Hey." Frank shook his head, "that's harsh." He paused for a moment, coming to remember his first day at the absolute wondrous gem of educational expertise that was Bertfield High School. "I remember my first class, I think I came out as gay in about four minutes-"
"You what?" Gerard's eyes widened.
"Well, it was first, of course, no one can fucking pronounce Iero, like seriously Way is the fucking easiest last name in the entire world, you have it so easy..." Frank trailed off, "maybe I should get married and ditch this last name, of course, I mean, someone would actually have to want to marry me first, which would be an issue."
Gerard sat there smiling, his whole head focused on the matter of not screaming 'that wouldn't be such an issue' at him, because well, now that Gerard was thinking about it, not only was he regretting his entire existence, but... oh god, they lived together and they were... they kind of were practically married, and oh god, with the way he was thinking he might as well go and join Megan's Frerard fanclub, or cult, or whatever the fuck it was currently.
"Anyway, so I lost all professionalism pretty early on. I remember the first thing I heard about you was about six minutes in and that was that you were a massive pretentious dickhead." Frank broke into laughter.
"Pretty accurate." Gerard gave a shrug, sipping at his coffee.
"Shut up." Frank shook his head, "okay, they've got pretentious right, but you're far from a dickhead, you're lovely, Gee, honestly."
And Gerard didn't think he'd ever smiled that much in his life before.
-
"Ryan, they're literally looking at each like they've been married for twenty five years, I want to die." Megan exclaimed, watching Frank and Gerard have a conversation from afar. "Honestly I told you France would be really romantic for them, and we're not even there yet." She pulled out her phone and tried her best to discreetly record some footage of them for her Frerard video that would very soon be available on her youtube channel, xxMeganCliffordxx.
"They're probably dating but they just won't come out because you're getting everyone to make such a big deal out of it." Ryan leaned back in his chair, giving an offhand comment, as he found himself severely missing his weed.
"Oh my god, Ryan, do you really think so?" Megan's jaw practically dropped at the notion, and as already proven, she would believe anything Ryan said.
"Yeah, I mean, like look at their body language, and that..." He gestured vaguely towards the two teachers, "they clearly look interested in one another."
"Oh my god, they do." Megan look as if she was on the verge of having a seizure as she zoomed in the video recording on her phone. "Oh my god, I've got it, Ryan. We have to catch them in the act, we have to get some video evidence of Frerard being real, and then we confront them about it, so we can prove Frerard!"
Ryan didn't seem entirely convinced by that idea, but then again, he realised that he didn't actually care about the possible relationship between Mr Way and Mr Iero, but he was perfectly happy to vaguely support Megan in her endeavours in order to make her feel better about herself.
She'd asked him to come on this trip with her for some company, and because she didn't want to hang out with people she hated for a week, and Ryan had of course agreed with her and let her think that was here on the basis of her friendship alone, but really, he had a maths test on Tuesday that he really wanted to escape at all costs, and it was so important that Brendon would have probably bullied him into going to, but Brendon couldn't do shit if he wasn't in the country, so fucking take that.
"I just realised that we're going to be around them all day, like, we can see their domestic things..." Megan sat there, now very obviously staring at them, and it was only a matter of time until one of them noticed, both her and the fact that she was even less discreetly filming them. "Like, oh my god, I think I actually might die of Frerard overload- what if they have a hotel room together?"
"Megan we're sharing and we're not dating." Ryan held a very valid point.
"Yeah, but you're gay and I'm Michaelsexual, whereas they're both gay guys, so then if they're like sleeping together for like a week, that's pretty gay..." Megan trailed off, "oh my god do you think they have one bedroom at their house? Oh my god... because Frank moved in with Mr Way, and didn't Mr Way live alone? So then maybe he doesn't have extra bedrooms, oh my god, Ryan, this is so gay I literally think I might die."
"Well, now that really would be a shame..." Ryan trailed off, sipping his coffee as he slouched back in his chair.
"Ryan, you know I literally saved your life last week." Megan fucking deadpanned, leaving Ryan to nearly choke on his drink, which really was a shame.
"You what?" He scoffed, sitting up, equal parts in disbelief and interest.
"Well, you know how Michael Smith is the Zodiac Killer?" She began, and Ryan had to take a moment to compose himself before she could continue, "well, he was planning to stab you in the play in that suicide attempt scene, so I called the bomb disposal unit to cancel the play and save your life."
"Megan!" Ryan screamed, eyes wide, as he had spent days wondering just who had done that, thinking maybe it was Muddy being bitchy or something, but he'd never once considered that it could have been Megan Clifford. "You called them?"
"Yeah, I mean, I had to think of something, didn't I?" She shrugged it off like it was nothing, and Ryan had to admit that, despite Michael not actually being the Zodiac Killer, he was actually kind of impressed and proud of her.
"Wow, that's really... you know what, Megan? You're a great friend." Ryan grinned, confirming that he could absolutely never tell her that Michael wasn't actually the Zodiac Killer. He wondered briefly if he should stop lying to her for the hell of it, but it was really rather amusing.
"And anyway, it wasn't like it was wasted. I did the school a great service by discovering the homeless man who had been living in the walls for years." She grinned, "and now we have a school owl because of it, I mean, isn't that just amazing?"
"Well..." Ryan trailed off, "you're not wrong."
-
Gerard was more than happy to sleep through most of the plane journey, as by that time, most of the students had gotten tired out too and had also fallen asleep or at least into some mostly quiet trance in which they were fixated mostly on their cellphones, and that was something Gerard could deal with.
He awoke just twenty minutes before they landed, but chose not to make a big deal out of it, not to make Frank know, not to bother the rest of the world as he let his gaze fixate out of the window, let his eyes focus on clouds and the world that seemed so tiny below, and how there was a whole ocean between him and his home now. He reckoned he couldn't really manage being away for so long, and that as much as he would enjoy this, a week would be enough, especially with all the students here as well.
He wasn't like Mikey, who was still yet to return from Japan with Pete after what was coming up to a year now. He spoke to Mikey regularly, texts and phone calls, and Mikey posted about seven pictures of Japan and Pete on his instagram everyday, so it wasn't like his younger brother had entirely disappeared from his life, it was just the fact that Gerard did come to wonder if they were actually ever coming back. They had to, at some point, after all, something big would eventually happen, like grandma would die or something, and Mikey would have to come back for the funeral, but that was forced. Gerard wanted to ask him things, to talk properly about things and not just small talk, and casual jokes; he wanted to ask what kept him there, what kept him away from home, what really kept him from marrying Pete, as they were practically married already.
Gerard imagined Mikey was scared, unable to face the reality of everything quite yet, and to that, Gerard could relate, and a part of him wanted to run away from everything like that, but he knew if he ran, he'd be running back home and not off to an entirely different continent. He couldn't leave him. Frank.
His stomach was doing backflips before they even started to land.
He needed to call Mikey as soon as they got there. It was fucked, though, with time zones and everything - they'd left New Jersey at about six in the morning on an eight hour flight, but as they landed in France it was eight in the evening, and then in Japan it was about three in the morning.
He wondered how pissed off he'd be if he called him at three in the morning, but as time went on, he really kind of accepted that he needed to. They needed to talk about things, about Japan, about coming home, about him, about Pete, about Frank, and about when they'd see each other again, face to face.
He was mostly quiet as they got off the plane, and most of the kids seemed to wake up again, and start yelling, all far too over excited to be in a different continent, and well, Gerard guessed that was something to be excited about, but in truth, he felt weird all over, and he was well aware that he was walking too close to Frank, and he was well aware that Frank was starting to get concerned with the fact that he hadn't spoken at all since they'd gotten off the plane, but it was okay, they could deal with that later.
He got his luggage back pretty quickly, and used the time everyone spent waiting for theirs to step back and think for a moment: head clouded with thoughts about how much he needed a fucking smoke, and just whether he could call Mikey, and just whether he would pick up, and just what was going to happen now, and how he was generally thankful that it was late, and that all they'd have to do that day was get on a coach to their hotel, and then fucking get everyone checked in, and into their rooms, and listen to Lindsey give a speech on not ruining the place or fucking each other in the rooms, and then eat something, and then go to bed.
He'd call Mikey after dinner, then it'd only be about four in the morning, and that had to be better. He needed to go for a cigarette now, though, like he didn't even care if he had to go and smoke with Ryan Ross at this point, he needed to, and he needed to now.
He met eyes with Lindsey, and she had the ability to practically feel the tension coming off him, and having already grabbed her bag, she made her way over to him, slipping away from the group without much notice, which Gerard was thankful for, as he really didn't need all this mess right now.
"What's wrong?" She asked, eyeing him with concern, and he took a moment to wonder just how fucked up he looked externally.
He gave a sigh, wondering how to even summarise what the fuck he was feeling, because in all honesty he wasn't entirely sure. "I don't know, I'm tired, I have a lot of my mind, need a smoke really."
She pulled out her phone, "we'll go for a smoke quickly, come on, they'll take that long getting everyone's bag, and then they can meet us at the coach. I'll text Brian quickly."
"Leaving him and Frank together, great fucking idea." Gerard scoffed, leaning back against the wall, but chose to make no further comment; he didn't really care that much in the moment, and Frank would eventually have to come to terms with the fact that Brian Molko was actually not the fifth horseman of the apocalypse.
After a moment Lindsey looked up and gave him a nod, "I've done it," and the two made their way out of the airport.
-
Gerard felt better the moment he inhaled: cigarette pulled away from his lips, and head back against the wall. However, he wasn't left in peace for too long, as Lindsey continued to eye him as she smoked: eyes evidently filled with concern, and silent moments ticking by only as she struggled to form those concerns into a sentence.
"So..." She finally broke the silence, gaze holding Gerard in a stern grasp. "What exactly is it that's going on? I know you're tired, stressed, and everything, but there's more to it than that."
Gerard gave a shrug, attempting to simply brush it off, not entirely sure that even if he wanted to delve into the truth right now, they'd have enough time to do so. It was all complicated, and really he just wanted to fall asleep, and face everything tomorrow.
"I know you, Gerard." She told him, shaking her head. "Don't lie to me. I know something's up - you've got that look in your eyes. All day now, but mostly after the flight. What happened?"
"Nothing really happened." He let out a sigh, taking a longer drag of his cigarette. "It's just... I thought about things, and nothing happened, but I've got my head into a mess by over thinking, I don't know, not overthinking, I think maybe I've been underthinking, and now I've done enough thinking and it just feels like over thinking, but it's not."
Lindsey offered him a smile, "hey, it's okay, just thoughts, they can't hurt you. What exactly have you been thinking about?"
Gerard gave a pause before answering, finding time to think again, and attempt to somewhat sort out the mess in which he found his head in. "About... myself, about my life, about Mikey, about him in Japan with Pete, about him coming home, because I miss home already, and he's been out there months, and it's not like I don't want to be here, because I do, I've just... tomorrow I'll be better, I need sleep, really. And then... I started thinking about Frank... about me and Frank, and I..." He shook his head; he couldn't admit it, not even to Lindsey, not now - it'd surely only cause more mess than it was worth.
"And you?" She raised her eyebrows, nodding for him to continue.
Gerard only shrugged, shaking his head and finding solace in the silence that followed.
"You should talk to Mikey about how you're feeling, I'm sure he'd want to come home." Lindsey eventually came to accept that Gerard just wasn't going to answer her question, and instead moved the conversation elsewhere.
"Yeah, I'm gonna call him after dinner." Gerard gave a nod, "I think we need to properly talk about things, I mean, I miss him, you know? And that's not selfish of me to want my brother back in the same country, and I mean, like, he's been gone so long that like Frank's never even met him, and Frank's..." Gerard swallowed, hard, "a massive part of my life... and... fuck..." He shook his head, leaning back against the wall and just thinking for a moment.
"It's Frank, isn't it? That's what's bothering you most." Lindsey's words were less like a question, because what was the point in asking something you were already sure of the answer to.
"Yeah..." Gerard came to admit, because there was no way around that part of the truth; he could still hide the rest away, but they'd reached the line with part of it.
"What's happened between you two? Have you had an argument?" Lindsey began to ask, considering every plausible possibility to what could have gone wrong. "Is it about Brian? How Frank is being weird about that-"
"No..." Gerard gave a sigh, slouching slightly, "nothing's happened. Just thoughts, and I just... fuck... it's such a fucking mess, honestly, I don't know what is even going on, or how I've gotten here, or how I've not gotten here before, because it's honestly, I don't know... my head's been a bit fucked up in the past, I guess. Maybe my head is still a bit fucked up."
"You're fine." Lindsey insisted, "now come on, what is it? It's just a thought, it can't hurt you."
"Fuck, it can." Gerard exclaimed, finishing his cigarette and putting it out with his foot. "Fuck, you can't tell anyone, especially not Frank." She gave a nod, although she wasn't entirely certain that she wouldn't, as she'd decide once she'd heard him speak, and what it really was. "Say you promise."
She rolled her eyes, "I promise, come on, Gerard, you're twenty five."
"Fuck... I just..." His mouth went dry, "I'm a bit in love with him, I think."
Lindsey's eyes widened in utter disbelief. "It took you this long to figure that out?"
Gerard smiled weakly. "Shut up."
-
Gerard had fallen asleep again on the coach to their hotel, and Frank had watched him once more, letting him lean on his shoulder again, but had regarded him, this time, with a greater level of concern. Frank wasn't stupid, not entirely - he could tell that something was up, he just couldn't pinpoint it, and he most certainly didn't want to make any kind of accusation, especially without anything to back it up. After all, maybe in all of this, Gerard was just tired - that would make sense after all.
He had run off with Lindsey randomly in the airport, which had seemed a little weird, but it did make sense that he needed to smoke, and really, Frank did need a cigarette too, but it looked like he was holding out until they got to the hotel, which really wasn't the best of situations, but he was going to have to deal with it. At least Lindsey had been the one to sort out the rooms and shit with the hotel, so therefore, it was only logically that she sorted them out with the kids.
Frank had to admit that what he'd seen of France so far was pretty nice, even if it was only the airport, and then the ride to the hotel, while it was dark, but it was pretty cool, and the students seemed to think so as there was an awful lot of instagramming going on. And shouting, and yelling - too much shouting and yelling.
The journey took about twenty five minutes, and then they were parked outside the hotel, and then, of course, came the matter of getting twenty kids off a coach in a neat ordered line, but this time, of course in a foreign country, where most of them didn't speak, or barely spoke the native language.
"Hey, Gerard..." He tapped Gerard in an attempt to wake him up as the students began to get off the bus; he really just hoped that he could stop touching Gerard by the time Megan walked past, because if she waved that fucking Frerard flag one more time he was literally going to break into her room in the middle of the night, steal it, and burn it... and blame all of those things on Ryan Ross.
"Mmm..." It took a moment before Gerard began to open his eyes: adjusting awkwardly to the fact that he was supposed to be awake now.
"We're at the hotel now." Frank gave him a smile, standing up, "I really need a smoke, thank fuck, honestly."
"Yeah..." Gerard trailed off, getting up and following Frank off the bus, and then the students into the lobby of the hotel. He took a moment to thank God, and well, basically Lindsey, that he wasn't the one who was in charge of sorting out rooms.
"Right, okay, everyone, listen up." Lindsey raised her voice slightly, as she got everyone to stand awkwardly in the corner of the lobby. "So, I want you to get into pairs for your rooms, and we'll go through the rules, no damaging property, no illegal activities..." It was kind of around that point that Gerard stopped listening, and instead found himself looking around the lobby for the wifi code, and then putting it into his phone, because he had priorities.
Gerard found himself suddenly listening very intently again by the time that Lindsey came up to them, thrust a keycard at Frank, and told them it was for their room.
He stared up at her eyes wide, wondering whether she'd come to insist that they had to share rooms before or after he'd come to the point of confessing his recently realised feelings regarding Frank to her. If she was 'setting them up', he swore to all fuck... Gerard stopped, and thought for a moment here - their real priority was just making sure that Megan didn't find out, so they might as well just go and put their stuff away as quickly as possible, despite the fact that, of course, Megan inevitably would find out.
-
"You doing okay?" Frank came to address the silence between the two of them once they were finally inside their room... their room... their shared room, and Gerard shoved his luggage in the cover, with no apparent desire to unpack it at all.
"Yeah..." Gerard gave him a nod, and took a moment to be thankful for the fact that Lindsey had at least been kind enough to give them two separate beds. "Fuck... no, not really... I..." He glanced across at Frank and let out a sigh. "What time is it?"
Frank pulled out his phone, "like nine pm... why?"
"I need to call Mikey." Gerard bit his lip, and pushed open the window, before grabbing a packet of cigarettes from his pocket.
"We've got to go down for dinner in like five minutes," Frank gave him a nod and joined him at the window, lighting his own cigarette. "Have to be quick."
Gerard trailed off, shrugging slightly, "I can miss dinner."
"You can call him later. After dinner." Frank suggested, eyes watching Gerard with concern. "It'll be fine, promise."
"I really need to talk to him." Gerard let out a sigh, looking over at Frank, and wondering what he could possibly think of all this, what he'd possibly say if Gerard ever told him, which was absolutely not something he'd be doing, but... it was a possibility. It was possible.
"Why?" And Frank's question was an innocent one, but the answer was in no way simple or innocent, nor did Gerard find himself in the position to lie to Frank and pretend it was.
"I need to talk to him about a few things. I feel a bit fucked up right now. Long day, too much thinking. We need to have a proper talk... I mean... I want him to come home, honestly." Gerard's face fell into a small smile, "you'd like him, I think."
"If he's anything like you then I'm pretty sure I'd like him one hell of a lot." Frank assured him, brushing his hair out of his face as he spoke.
"He and Pete need... they need to get married, really, I mean they're just already married, they need to settle down and just come back, you know?" Gerard sighed, "I'm being... I don't know... I miss him, I fucking miss Pete as well, and Pete's such a little shit... but he means well, you know? And it's just... I don't know, I'm just thinking about going away, and family, and the people you love."
"Just tell him honestly how you feel." Frank told him; told him like it was simple and like everything would just worked how he'd planned it out in his head, when of course, it never would.
"Lindsey said that as well." Gerard couldn't help but comment. "When we went for a cigarette. We talked about things, and I don't know, it's just like when you tell someone something that, like, matters, and then suddenly like you can feel the hole in your chest where you've taken it from and given it to them... and that makes me feel kind of sick, and I..."
"Lindsey's trustworthy, and she tends to be right about things." Frank smiled at him, "look whatever it is, it's going to be fine, and she's going to help you sort it out - she's good at those kinds of things, come on, you know she is."
Gerard gave a nod. "I guess so. She just wants me to be entirely open about some things, I guess, and I'm not ready to do that... I need to talk to Mikey."
"Do you want Mikey to tell you not to?" Frank found himself raising an eyebrow, and for a moment Gerard was silent: considering it and working things out in his head, because in all honesty, he had no idea.
"I don't know, I just want him to tell me it's okay, because he just... he's my brother... that matters... I don't have to make him understand... it's... you know, easy?" Gerard have Frank a hopeful look, despite the fact that he knew Frank didn't have any siblings.
Frank nodded, "yeah, I guess." He finished his cigarette and stood there for a moment as Gerard held his phone in his hand. "Are you sure you're okay missing dinner?"
"Yeah, it's fine. I promise." Gerard gave him a nod.
"I'll tell them you just went straight to bed, I mean, that's pretty believable, don't you think, and you should go to bed, you're tired as fuck." Frank flashed him a concerned, almost motherly glance as he grabbed his jacket and made his way to the door.
Alone in the room, Gerard stood there, passing time smoking and staring at Mikey's contact screen on his phone and doing all he could to prolong the act of actually calling him and waking him up, and then having to go through the matter of actually talking about things, and Mikey always knew when he was lying, and maybe Gerard needed that, and of course, Gerard needed that right now, he just wasn't quite ready to admit that yet.
It took him a good ten minutes of just standing there alone for him to actually gather the courage to call his own fucking brother - it was just the nature of the conversation they had to have, really, and Gerard knew that, but it didn't help things at all.
"Hey?" Mikey picked up with seconds, which seriously surprised Gerard considering that it was like half four in the morning in Japan.
"Hey, Mikey." Gerard felt a smile falling over his lips without his knowledge. "What are you doing awake, it's like...?"
"Four twenty eight am..." Mikey told him, and Gerard could practically hear the smile in his voice, "Pete woke me up because it was four twenty and he wanted me to celebrate that fact."
"Oh, well, that makes sense..." Gerard did question what it was that Mikey found tolerable, and well, attractive in Pete Wentz, but they were really happy, so it wasn't any of his business really. "We're in France now, and I have had a weird day."
"I know, Frank posted a picture on Instagram-"
"You follow Frank on Instagram?" Gerard's eyes widened, "What? Why?"
"You've tagged him in like half your fucking photos, it was hard not to." Mikey admitted, laughing a little, "and he's nice, you know, he seems nice. I want to meet him, of course, though."
"Then fucking come back from Japan." Gerard let out a sigh, "fuck, sorry, I just... I realised I miss you well... a hell of a lot..."
"I miss you too." Mikey paused for a moment, "and well, I am coming back, in like three weeks time - it was meant to be a surprise, you know? I wanted to come back earlier, but Pete says there's something else we need to do, of course, he won't specify what that is. I think he just doesn't want to leave, honestly, but I will be back by the end of the month, that's a promise."
"Thank you." Gerard smiled, already feeling better about his life in general. "Have you already told our parents that or?"
"We can surprise them." Mikey laughed a little, "is there anything else you want to talk about, because Pete wants me to go and look at the sunrise with him like the fucking dipshit he is."
Gerard couldn't help but laugh in response, "actually there is, though, I mean, it can wait, but-"
"No, Gee..." Mikey was adamant in his tone, "tell me. I've seen the sunrise a thousand times before in my life, and come on, I can hear it in your voice - this is making you nervous, it matters."
"Yeah, fuck, it kind of does." Gerard paused for a moment, fixing his gaze on the skyline, and taking a moment just to consider things, just to consider whether anything would come of them. "I... kind of think I'm in love with Frank."
"Then tell him," Mikey's response came instantly. "Come on, what else is he going to say that I love you too?"
"I don't love you?" Gerard suggested, horrified at the mere suggestion of just telling him, because he couldn't just do that - could he?
"You're like me and Pete, come on, you're in love." Mikey gave what was even a laugh at this point.
"Yeah, but you and Pete are dating."
"Wait, what- are you and Frank not dating?" Mikey exclaimed, "what the fuck are you serious?"
"No, we're not-"
"You live together. You're two gay men that live together, and obviously care deeply about each other, and have done for months.... I... Gerard, I genuinely thought you were dating for months now." Mikey shook his head in disbelief, "fuck, you have to tell him how you feel, how could you not be dating? Oh god, are you going to get even more married when you do date- fuck, is that even possible?"
Gerard couldn't help but blush. "What if it fucks things up? What if... I don't know-"
"Every third photo in his instagram feed has you in it, I think maybe he feels the same, don't you think?" Mikey scrolled through Frank's instagram as he spoke.
"You're giving me life advice based off Instagram?" Gerard sounded rather mortified at the mere concept.
"Yes, and what's wrong with that?"
"Everything, Mikey, fucking everything." Gerard let out a sigh.
"Tell him, Gee, come on, trust me, look at his Instagram, trust me." Mikey paused for a moment, and Gerard caught the sound of Pete shouting in the background. "I have to go, but I can call you later if you want."
"Later would be like midnight here." Gerard told him.
"Tomorrow, whenever. Call me. Call me after you've told him, because you know what? You should." And like that, Mikey hung up, and Gerard found himself reluctant, but going to look at Frank's Instagram feed anyway.
And he hated to admit it, but perhaps, Mikey did have a point.
-
hey kids this chapter is longer than my entire life (it's 10.4k words) merry christmas
bet u now that we have a frerard focused chapter people are going to be commenting 'it needs more megan clifford'
vote and comment if u enjoyed
love u