A Revolution On Canvas (Frerard)

41: In Which Megan Culturally Appropriates Goblins

Ryan Ross was used to waking up in his room at home and rolling over in bed to turn his alarm clock off at least seven times before actually getting out of bed, because it was pretty hard for him to get into trouble for being late, or well, anything now that he was dating Mr Urie. He'd eventually get out of bed and have a shower, put some clothes on and sit and smoke some weed whilst jamming out to music he found on 8tracks by searching the 'stoner', 'gay, and 'emo' tags.

If he was feeling particularly adventurous that morning, he'd end up looking at Megan's social media and laughing at the kind of shit she posted there, but at least Ryan hadn't unfriended her like sixty people had after she'd posted seventy different pictures of Michael Clifford in a row two weeks ago. Ryan was a true friend.

However, what Ryan Ross really wasn't accustomed to waking up to was Megan Clifford, herself, in person, and upon that day, their second day of being in France, he was rather rudely awoken to the sound of Megan running around their hotel room whilst 5SOS played rather loudly in the background.

"What the fuck?" Was really all Ryan could say as he rolled over in bed and attempted to melt away under the sheets.

"This is part of my morning routine, don't routineshame me, Ryan." Megan stopped running about and turned down the volume of the music, which was something that Ryan was beyond thankful for. "Every morning, I wake up and do my exercise routine, I call it 5 Seconds Of Exercise, not because you do it for five seconds, but because I always listen to 5SOS when doing it, and I do each exercise for that song, like, for example, my current routine is lunges to She Looks So Perfect, and then squats to Don't Stop, and then sit ups for Good Girls, and then I jog on the spot for Kiss Me Kiss Me, and then I do starjumps for 18, and then a handstand for Everything I Didn't Say, and then I sit down and have a cry for Beside You, and then I start again with lunges to End Up Here, because I don't really know anymore exercises. You should try it with me, Ryan."

It took Ryan a moment to remember that this was Megan Clifford and that, therefore, this was all one hundred percent serious and not some kind of weird joke that he was far too asleep to comprehend.

"What time is it, Megan?" Ryan avoided her attempt to make him exercise, because as much as he was horrible for making her believe that her ex-boyfriend was genuinely the Zodiac Killer, and he did kind of feel sorry for her, but he didn't feel sorry enough to jump out of bed and start squatting to Don't Stop by 5 Seconds Of Summer.

"It's currently seven minutes past five... in the morning." She hit him with a smile, "that's why I'm so tired, but then it's okay, I don't need sleep all I need is pictures of Michael Clifford where you can see the outline of his dick through his jeans."

"Megan, you need to get laid." Ryan shook his head in disbelief, "wait, what the fuck are you- why is it five in the morning, why the fuck did you wake up at five in the fucking morning to do exercise?"

"I didn't wake up at five, god, Ryan, don't be so ridiculous, it's like you don't know me at all. I woke up at five seconds past five minutes past five in the morning. Because it's five seconds of summer. Five Five Five." She then proceeded to turn the music up slightly and squat as Ryan attempted to comprehend any kind of reply.

"Honestly I'd prefer it if you woke up at six seconds past six minutes past six every morning and drew a pentagram on the floor in your own blood and attempted to summon Satan into our hotel room." Ryan took a moment to envision the act of doing so and tucked it away as an idea for stupid shit to do later. Not tomorrow, because tomorrow, Ryan was waking up at four twenty in the morning and playing Smoke Weed Everyday and getting stoned as fuck.

"Why would I want to summon Muddy? I'm happy to be away from her, god, Ryan, do you know how good it is to know that there's a whole entire ocean between us, like if she tried to come after me for being too cool for her, she'd fucking drown." Megan stopped squatting and pressed pause on her music. "Is the squatting distracting?"