I don't care what I'm wearing, I don't care if I'm alone or if no one notices the girl in a light green dress sitting at the table in the corner watching everything around her.
"Are you sure you're okay going by yourself?" Hunter asked me this morning when he called before I had to get ready.
"Yes. Don't worry about me. I still don't think weddings are my thing but I'm not sad anymore." I could hear him smile at my words. He knows he's the cause of my happiness.
"Alright, well if you need anything just call... Even if you talk into my voice mail... Well, I love hearing you babble.
My cheeks warmed and I told him it was time to get going.
"Leah?" He asked loudly after we had said goodbye.
I pushed the phone back next to my ear. "Yeah?"
"Pay attention, next one is ours." I heard him chuckle and hang up and I waited for the rush of panic or regret, but none came.
The smile still hasn't left my face. Through the ceremony I didn't shed a single tear, dropping the cake off and watching them look excitedly at it made me beam brighter, even dancing with Gordi and Blake in front of a crowd couldn't erase the good feeling that seemed to lace through my veins with my blood.
"If I didn't know any better I'd say this was your wedding." Maggie returns my smile as I sit at our table.
"Why would you say that?" I laugh and try to keep my hands away from the ring that dangles on a long gold chain around my neck.
She looks at me long and hard and for a second I'm afraid she can see everything and is going to reveal my secret. "No reason..."
I inwardly sigh with relief. "So, what time do you want us to come next week?"
"Sixish... Hunter's flight gets in at 3 but he's going to be pretty tired."
"Okay. How are things between you two anyway?"
I smile at her question and that seems enough of an answer.
"May I have this dance?" Al stands over her and extends a hand as 'Everything' by Michael Bublé starts and I nod when Maggie asks silent permission to leave me alone.
Someone comes up to me and asks me to dance, I decline with a polite smile and shake of the head. Sitting by myself watching Al, Maggie, Kenny, Gemma, Sam, and Tiffany all dancing in their proper pairs, I don't mind. Even when Blake and Gordi dance by I just feel warmth in my heart.
I look at my phone, it's close to 12, Hunter should be finishing up his show soon. Then he will take time for his fans, then himself, then me. He knows better to call me before he showers and eats because we always end up talking until one of us falls asleep and on concert nights it's almost always him.
The song ends and while the children remain on the dance floor, the couples come back to the table and all sit.
"Too bad Hunter couldn't come." Tiffany remarks, shooting me a pointed look.
"He's busy, I get it. Besides, it's nice to be with all of you by myself.
"Not for much longer." I hear Tiffany mumble and without a second of hesitation I apply a strong bit pressure on her toes under the table with the flat heel of my shoe. She bites her lip and rolls her eyes at me, masking the pain.
Just then Tiffany's father comes strolling past and stops at our table. You can see the pride in his eyes as he squeezes his daughter's shoulder and asks her how she's doing. He looks at Sam with respect now that he didn't really display around the time they got married. While Sam was and is one of the sweetest guys I know he's modest and very humble and his demeanor seems very plain at first but once you get to know him you find him complex and full of life. Tiffany saw it, and I'm happy to see the rest of her family fall in line.
"And how are we all doing this evening?" He looks around at us with a grin, his eyes seem to rest on me for a second longer than the rest and I simply nod.
"About ready to bust." Tiffany admits as she wraps a hand around her belly. Her due date keeps moving forward and technically she should be on bed rest. But she wanted to be at her brother's wedding and I can't blame her. They are actually going in tomorrow to induce labor but it's not common knowledge and I only found out in exchange for my engagement news.
"Not at the reception." Sam laughs. "Your brother would never forgive you if you upstaged him at his own wedding."
Tiffany gives a small giggle and reaches for her sparkling cider. "If I had the baby here and now I could drink real champagne instead of this fruity stuff."
Sam pulls her close and kisses her temple, "I still wouldn't let you." He whispers in her ear and she smiles and leans into him.
I watch them with great interest, wondering if this could ever be Hunter and I. This comfortable together with people watching, this blissful state of happiness that blocks out all surroundings.
'I think when you're ready you'll tell the world because in the end, you'll find that when you're in love you don't care who knows. You just want to show everyone that you're happy and that you can make someone happy.' I can hear the words echoing in my head almost as if Tiffany is whispering right in my ear. With this image they just came flooding back into my mind. She was right, I want everyone to know that Hunter is mine and I am his. I finger the ring on its chain and abruptly stand, interrupting Tiffany's dad as he looks up from his conversation with Al. "Excuse me. It's getting late and I'm going to get going." I notice him stand with me and I try to ignore it.
I take my phone and start for the coat room when I feel a hand on my arm, "I was hoping I would get the chance to talk with you." He says softly in my ear and I feel a surge of panic.
"I need to grab my coat and purse, we can talk on the way." I concede and gently move my arm out of his grasp.
"Ms. Foster, I just wanted to say, you did a fantastic job on my son's wedding cake."
I sigh in relief. "Thank you, I enjoy doing it."
"Also it has come to my attention that you and Mr. Hayes have... An understanding. Ms. Foster-"
"Please, don't call me that. I stopped being Leanne Foster almost 8 years ago, call me Leah."
He nods, "that's part of what I wanted to talk to you about, since people have started to learn of your..." He clears his throat and I start looking through the racks for my red dress coat. "Past and your connection to Mr. Hayes, we've noticed a drop in his popularity and sales. I normally wouldn't say anything but he is a dear friend of the family and-"
I find my coat and hold up a hand to stop him as I slip it on. "First off, I know he is close to your family, and your daughter had a big hand in putting Hunter and I together. Second off, things are about to get a lot more public and I'm ready for it. Hunter has been fighting for me for over 2 years and it's time for me to start fighting for him. No offense, but you are just an outsider looking in. You have charts and graphs but you don't know his heart. So excuse me if I don't feel like reasoning with you on this."
"But-"
"I'll see you around. Goodnight." I walk away from him just like that and while I shake a little mostly I feel confident and proud. I slip the chain from my head and unclasp it, sliding the ring over my left ring finger, feeling it warm against my skin. I'm ready for whatever comes. I'm not broken, I'm not even upset or hurt, I'm Leah. I'm Hunter's. I'm me.
-----
Hunter wraps his arm around my waist as I finish setting the table. I lean into his touch and smile, closing my eyes. He takes my hand and looks at the ring. "Still there." He says, and I can tell he's smiling.
After the wedding I called him and told him everything that happened and he reassured me that I am just what he wants and that he loves me no matter what it does to his reputation. If I can put up with his celebrity status he has no problem put up with my past.
From somewhere in the house I hear Tiffany scramble as tiny baby Loraine lets out a wail. No doubt Sam will be close behind, both of them adore their newborn and watching them care for her is just priceless.
The doorbell rings and Hunter wordlessly volunteers to answer it, kissing my cheek before he walks off. Bill's boisterous laughter fills the entryway and I hope he's come alone. I've found that not everyone needs someone else to be happy and Bill is just one of those people, plus his last girlfriend was a gossip and she knew far too much about Hunter and I for my taste.
I stop for a second and clutch the back of a chair, catching my breath. I can't put my finger on it but I'm nervous. All of my friends approve of Hunter, most of them are partly responsible for us being together in the first place but telling them I'm about to take a jump I had vowed against after Jacob left seems more nerve wracking than anything I've ever done.
Maggie swoops into the kitchen and I hide my left hand in a oven mitt and reach down to take the roast out of the oven. Without hesitation she starts cutting tomatoes for the salad.
"I can't believe you're quitting the greenhouse." Al greets me with a sad face and I shrug apologetically. "What are you going to do anyway?"
I look at Hunter and smile at his encouraging nod. "I'm going to take some classes in baking and see where that takes me.
Al sighs, "well, I can't say I didn't see it coming... But we're going to miss you."
"Thanks, I'm going to miss it too. Don't worry I'm not going to Paris or Italy to study." I laugh a little, Hunter suggested a class that was 6 months long and exclusive to France. One look in his pained eyes at the thought of being separated for half a year shut that idea down. "Besides..." I move back from setting the roast on the table and Hunter comes up behind me, his arm wrapped around my shoulders and the warm of his hand rests on my skin. "Hunter and I have some news." I pull the oven mitt from my hand and expose the glittery gold and white ring.
Maggie bursts into tears and I swear Bill swallowed his tongue.
"Maggie?" Al asks, wrapping his arms around her and trying to calm her down, "are you okay?"
Tiffany has to step out as the crying woke the baby again and Sam looks slightly lost but I nod at him to go check and he leaves.
"Finally." Maggie manages to croak out before she's crossed the room and kissing Hunter and I several times on both cheeks. She's laughing and crying and I can't stop grinning from ear to ear.
"There's more." I say slowly as she calms down, "I was hoping Al would be willing to give me away?" I look across the room at my cousin who looks stricken. Even though we are so close in age he's been like a father to me for such a long time. Leo offered when we told his parents last week but I really wanted Al.
"I would love to." He finally agrees and holds his arms out.
Without hesitation I cross the room and fall into them, ignoring the tear I feel fall on my shoulder and the deep breath he inhales while I'm in his arms. When I open my eyes and look at Hunter he smiles and I can see the love in his eyes. He's my rock and my safety, he's the one who never thought me broken, he's the one I'm going to forever refer to as mine.