"Here." I hand him a mug full of coffee and a thick slice of cake. The dark red of the cherries reflects the fire in the round, enormous, open fireplace that sits in the middle of the upstairs living room.
"Thank you." Hunter smiles as I sit down a little farther down the couch. His face turns into a frown as he regards the space in between us.
I ignore him and focus completely on the smaller piece I gave myself, the chocolate seems light and fluffy, moist but not too much. I wish I would have whipped the frosting just a touch more, it's not quite at that melt-in-your-mouth texture I was going for.
"So..." Hunter reaches out and sets the mug down on the trim that rings around the fire and moves a little closer as he sits back down a little closer to me. He pulls on the hem of his shirt a little, it was still warm when we got it out of the dryer. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine, really Hunter. I just got a little cold."
"A little? Your hair was frozen."
"I didn't realize it was going to get so cold tonight." I mutter at my plate.
"You really need to be more careful, you don't have a lot of extra weight to keep you warm."
His comment makes me snap to attention. "I'm not skinny."
"Says who?"
"Me!"
Hunter shakes his head and moves closer.
"I mean it! I've never been thin, I used to get teased in school. 'Leanne, what do you do? Eat butter for breakfast?' 'Hey Leanne, why don't you put down that sandwich before you pop right out of those pants.' 'You know why you never date? Well maybe if you lost some weight you would know.' I wouldn't have heard that stuff if it wasn't true. I'm ugly and fat."
He shakes his head.
"What?"
"Well, one, I don't believe you were ever ugly. You make dirt look attractive."
I blush deeply at his comment.
"And two, I keep forgetting you always haven't been Leah. You don't seem like a Leanne." He's kept moving towards me and now he's right next to me.
"I'm not." Tears prick the corners of my eyes and I'm feeling irritated and uncomfortable. He reaches behind me and pulls a blanket to my shoulders.
"Leah is a gentle name, sweet, like a flower."
"A weed." I remember our conversation from late this summer, where he was trying to convince me how beautiful weeds are.
"A lone dandelion, in the middle of a yard."
I squish up my face.
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Make that face, it's too cute. I might not be able to control myself."
"What about this?" I stick my tongue out and touch the tip of my nose, crossing my eyes.
"Leah I mean it."
"What are you going to do about it Hayes?"
He takes the plate from my hands and moves it to the fireplace ledge next to his. "This!" He lunges at me and I dodge, getting up. My legs shake slightly as I run around to the back of the couch, gripping the end.
Hunter considers the half circle couch, eyes darting to mine as he weights his options. Max barks at my feet and for a second I look down. Hunter makes his move.
I turn on my heel and run for the stairs as I feel Hunter's hand on my back. "Not quite quick enough!" I laugh as I bound down the stairs to the first floor. His feet pound behind me.
My socks glide on the hard wood floors and I shriek as I slide into the main living room. Hunter crashes into me from behind as I try to avoid falling on the couch. He twists so I fall on top of him and I am left half on, half off the couch, gripping Hunter's arms, trying to catch my breath.
"Leah...?" Hunter breathes heavy as well and his eyes look nervous.
"Yeah?" I need to know what he wants to ask me.
"Will you go out with me?"
I laugh and then stop when he doesn't join in. "You're serious?"
"As a heart attack."
"Oh..." I push off of him and slide into the floor, stunned.
"Leah?" Hunter shifts and I know he's looking at me as I stare straight ahead.
"I'm thinking."
We sit in silence for a minute, the only sound is Max as he works his way down the stairs with a 'thunk' sound as he succeeds on each step.
"Why?" If he gives me a good enough reason I'll do it, if he can't I will know it's out of pity and I will feel fine with saying no.
"Because when I'm with you I'm WITH YOU. You don't put on any pretenses. I know just where I stand. You've never treat me like I'm famous or abnormal but you treat me like I'm special... Like I am who I am and that's good enough for you."
"Well now else am I supposed to treat you?" I'm genuinely confused by his statement. Do people not treat him like Hunter? A goof who loves music and while he is awkward isn't afraid to get himself out there. A guy who takes his chances taking the time to know a broken girl even though it's probably going to hurt him in the end.
"See, that's why. With you I'm just Hunter... I haven't felt that way in a long time."
His statement makes me feel the need to look up at him. He's sitting on the edge of the couch, legs bracing him on the floor as he rings his hands. He catches my eye and turns to me.
"You weren't the only one to almost have a wedding."
I let out a gasp as I draw my gaze to the left ring finger where he's twisting with his right hand like there's no tomorrow. "How close?"
"Day of, right at the end of the aisle. She was the one, I was positive." He mumbles the last part almost to himself as he stares at his hand again.
"She wasn't?" I can't help asking, I never have seen this side of Hunter before, the confusion in his face mixed with the pain and anger. I realize it's self directed.
"I never found out. I was too upset to go after her. I let my pride get in the way and I lost her forever. So much for having faith to fall back on."
His words reach me and I get up off the floor, sitting next to him and sliding my hand over his back. "I had no idea... If I say I understand what you went through does that help?" I don't know what else to do. When people told me they understood I found myself getting mad. Being abandoned by the person you've planned forever with is something no one can really get unless it happens to them.
He lets out a shuddering breath and lays his head on my shoulder. I place my cheek on top his head and try to ignore how soft his hair feels, newly dry and free of product.
"That night... In the grocery store, it was the first time I looked at someone and didn't think they would break my heart."
I swallow hard, it's been over a year but I know he's talking about me. But what have I done for him since? I think of how many times he's heard me cry, seen me at my worst.
I remember him telling me he liked me and shooting him down, flat out rejecting him and running into Jacob's arms. Why does he still want me? There must be a million girls who treat him just like I do. Prettier, funnier girls, ones that don't hate themselves or break his heart selfishly. "Hunter, what if I do break your heart? What if you end up hating me?" I can't stand the thought of not texting him every day, of knowing he doesn't mind if I bug him at 2 in the morning because I can't sleep and need to talk to someone.
He shifts and he looks right into my eyes, clarity and calm takes over and I'm trapped. "Not possible, you care about me too much."
I realize how close we are and I start to shift, I don't know what I am supposed to be doing. He studies my face, his eyes drift to my lips and I instinctively lick them. He looks back into my eyes. "You never did answer my question."
"O-okay." I surprise myself but I just can't get my brain to work.
"Awesome."
"But... Nothing public. Please can it be a quiet thing?"
"Leah," he smiles, "did you even know I was engaged before?"
I think over the tabloids and rumors I heard but nothing was concrete. I shake my head.
"I'm an expert at secret loves." He raises an eyebrow.
My laughter bubbles out at his song pun.
"Made it all the way to the alter without anyone who wasn't supposed to know finding out. I will tell you, that was the one nice thing about that failed relationship... Lot less press."
"Good." I nod. "Just, please don't go too crazy, I'm not sure how to date. My last first date was sophomore year."
Hunter pulls away and laughs. The lack of presence on my side makes me cold instantly. I liked having him side by side in that awkward half hug. "I told you we'd go slow. It took me a year to get you to agree to go out with me I'm not going to ruin it."
The blush on my cheeks turns his voice soft, he brushes the hair out of my eyes. "Trust me, I don't want to mess this up."
I'm about to ask what 'this' is when he rests his forehead on mine. The gesture was so unexpected that I can't breathe or move or close my eyes. His are closed though and he breathes easily, the coffee and chocolate mixes in the air on his breath.
"It... Um... It's getting late." I watch him as he opens his eyes and looks at me.
"You sure you're okay on your own?"
Hunter really is sweet, a little hard headed and spontaneous at times but he usually means well.
"I'm not alone, I've got this little guy." I move away and take Max off of were he lays by my feet and hold him up.
"True." He scratches Maxwell behind his tired little ears. "Take care of this girl, okay?"
Max licks his hand.
"Thanks buddy."
Still clutching the dog I walk to the door as he grabs his coat and puts it on. "Goodnight Hunter."
He seems to hesitate before smiling and reaching out to touch my hand. "Sweet dreams Leah."
"Text me when you get home safe?"
"I'll call you." He winks before stepping out the door into the cold night air.
"What a crazy day." I sigh as Max barks as Hunter drives away.