I was on the phone with my mom and she was talking my head off. For about 30 minutes she had been talking about the show tonight; how wonderful I was, that she was sorry she couldn't go back stage, that she likes Roman better than Declan anyways just becuase he's Kiani's son. Now it was all starting to just blur together.
"Mom, I'm going to have to go." I yawned. I had been up since 6 am and had one of the busiest days of my life, not sleeping right now was not an option.
"Okay, well I love you, sweetie! I know you probably won't get to talk much tomorrow but I'll be in the crowd. I'm so proud of you." She told me. I couldn't help but smile. The word proud made a warmth spread within me. After telling her that I loved her back and finishing up saying goodnight I hung up. The screen on my phone showed that I had two unread messages.
Roman: Goodnight, love I'm glad you're finally getting a guy you deserve ;)
How does he manage to still be cocky in a text that was supposed to be so sweet? For some reason, I loved that about him. His confidence radiated.
Declan: Try to live with what you did tonight. You broke his heart, tomorrow you'll regret it. I promise. -Aaron.
My mind flashbacked to when Aaron standing next to me had given me such bad anxiety that I passed out. Something was really off about that kid and I hated it. Since then I haven't even so much as looked in his direction. The threat in that text was bad enough, but coming from him made it a milion times worse. Quickly, I deleted his text so that I wouldn't have to look at it. I answered Roman as Megan stepped into the room with her hair wrapped in a towel and in her hot pink pajamas.
"You look like you're going to be sick." She noted. I felt like it too.
"Today's been crazy." I covered.
"Yeah, I bet. Even I didn't expect that song choice from you." I shrugged.
"I'm tired. I think it's bedtime." I said as I rolled over onto my side.
"I agree." Megan shut off the lights, making the room become instantely pitch black. I let the darkness overcome me.
---------------
"I didn't think I'd be this nervous for tonight." I spoke my thoughts out loud as we pulled up to the X Factor building.
"Me niether." Agreed Lily. Lily was one of the girls in the only girl band left in this competition, Love in Time. She was gorgeous and a sweetheart.
"Has anyone seen Caitlin this morning?" I looked around at the girls and shook my head. That was wierd. I didn't even notice Caitlin was gone.
"Haven't seen her." I answered Paige, who's also in Love in Time. The van stopped in front of the entrance and we all hopped out.
"So what exactly are we even going to be doing all day?" Asked Megan. I had the same question. The show didn't start until 7:30 pm and it was only 8 am.
"Hi, girls!" Erika smiled as she opened the door for us. "You guys can just head to stage right." We walked down the hall and opened up the black door at the end, leading to the side of the stage. Everything in this area was black so that you couldn't see during a show. Black curtains, walls, floors, and ceilings. This was also where snacks were kept during rehearsals. From here we could see them working on the lighting for tonight's results show.
A lot of people were back here. All of Your Prince, the two eleven year old contestants, Erika, Niall, Louis, Eleanor, Kiani, Zayn, Danielle, Roman, Noelle, and more. Caitlin was also back here holding two cups of Starbucks. In the mornings everyone is always pretty tired so there wasn't much commotion.
Caitlin, who I've never been very close to, came right up to me and smiled, "Hey!"
"Hi.." I said a little unsure. Everyone in Your Prince was looking at us, Declan with his arms crossed. So were Roman, Noelle, and weirdly enough, Niall. She held out her second starbucks cup for me.
"I got you some." She said sweetly.
"Thanks.." I took the cup, eyeing it, "I don't mean to be rude, but why?"
"Because she feels bad." Niall spoke up. Everyone backstage turned to look at him. Feels bad for what? I looked to Roman, who looked like he felt bad, as well. What am I missing? Caitlin turned around to face Niall, both cups in her hands. Her sweetness faded with a roll of her eyes.
"The only thing I feel bad for is the fact that next week I'll be performing and she'll be back in New York watching it." Everyone made an oooing noise. I scoffed and Declan started cracking up. I walked right around Caitlin, completely ignoring her and her coffee. With my confidence high, I walked right up to him. Instantely, Declan shut up. By now, cameras were recording everything.
"What's going on?" In my head, I begged him to prove my hunch wrong. I thought I knew what was going on, I wanted to hear it from him.
"Nothing, sweetheart." He smiled, cheekily.
"You know, you've got a lot of nerve coming over here after last night." Aaron said to me. One look at him sent me into shivers. I rolled my eyes and started to turn around but I was stopped by a hand.
"Let go of me." I told Aaron, shakily. His hand was wrapped around my wrist, tight enough to cause my fingers to tingle.
I didn't even know what hit me, literally. I heard gasps from the people around us and I was on the floor, my wrist throbbing and the side of my face stinging. Then I felt another blow. My vision was blurring.
>Roman's POV<
My mind was ahead of my body. I heard Aaron's hand come in contact with Delilah's face and she was falling backwards. It took me a couple seconds to take it in and then both Louis and I were trying to get Aaron off of Delilah. He punched her in the side of the face and I swear I saw her eyes roll back into her head. I punched him in the gut, causing him to fall backwards. Louis and a couple security pulled Aaron off and held him. Niall was pulling me away from Aaron. Delilah sat up a little, relieveing me of a little bit of my worry. Megan sat beside her, rubbing her back.
"What the hell is happening?!" She yelled. "And what was all the fighting about yesterday too? Tell me what's going on?!" She yelled at me and Declan. I had never seen her this upset, I knew her singing voice was poweful but her screaming voice literally scared me. Yesterday, thankfully, she hadn't asked any questions, but what do I do know? Lie or tell her the truth. I caught Declan's eye and we stared at each other. I could almost hear his pleas in his head for me to not tell her the truth.
"Unlike you, I actually love her. So I'm telling her the truth." Declan started laughing again. It wasn't even funny, why was he laughing? It was almost like a mock laugh, a laugh with a little bit of something else behind it.
"That's fucking hilarious! You should hear the secret she's kept from you! From all of you!" He yelled. My eyes landed on Delilah who was staring at Declan, fear in her eyes. What was she keeping.
"You really want to know, Delilah? My secret gets out and yours does too." A tear trailed down her cheek. Megan looked between me and Delilan and Declan.
"Delilah.. What's he talking about?" I asked her, completely aware of the crowd of people all watching this. As I was watching Delilah, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Louis leave Aaron in the securities hands and walk up behind Declan. He put his arm on Declan's shoulder and started talking very fast into his ear, so no one else could hear.
"I.. Um.." Delilah began. "I.. Well actually it's kind of funny.."
"How funny?" I asked her. Delilah looked at Declan just as Louis stepped away.
"Do you two mind if I explain?" Louis asked them.
"Nope." Declan told him, smirking at Delilah. I wanted to slap it off his face. Clearly cautious, Delilah slowly nodded her head, giving Louis the okay. I looked to Louis.
"They slept together." He smiled. Louis' a jokster, obviously so I laughed. But no one else in the room did. I looked at Delilah who looked at me, literally on the verge of tears, Megan had her mouth almost to the floor, and Declan? Declan was still smirking at Delilah. A fire lit inside me.
I violently pulled myself from Niall, only to have Delilah make a wierd screeching noise and Niall pull me back, again. Harry came to Niall's aid and held me still as well.
"It's not worth it." Zayn said to me, as he put both his hands on my shoulders and stepped between me and everyone else.
"Everyone get back to work!" Simon yelled, rounding the corner. He looked pissed. "My group, get to conference room B, Liam's group get on that stage, and Louis' group get to conference room C!" Zayn was still looking intently at me and my heartbeat still soared.
"If you had found out some other guy slept with Kiani, what would you do?" He looked behind me to Kiani and I saw his eyes soften. "Believe me, it is worth it." We waited like this until everyone was gone, except for me, Delilah, Niall, Zayn and Louis. They let go and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Delilah, meet us when you guys finish up here. I'll have Eleanor come make sure you're okay." Louis nodded to Delilah and left. I sat down next to Delilah and put my arm around her. She layed her head on my shoulder.
'Now what happens?" I asked, because I was lost and confused. I couldn't even understand how I felt.
"Are you mad?" She asked, looking up at me. I laughed, not because it was funny, but because she didn't understand. She was too perfect for me to be mad at her.
"No. How do you feel?"
"Like I was slapped in the face." She said. I laughed again. Eleanor came up to us with a first aid kit. I watched as she gently wipped off the blood on the corner of Delilah's mouth and asked if she was okay.
"I'm fine." Delilah smiled. Eleanor told Delilah where to find Louis and the rest of her group and then stood off to the side watching us. I looked between her and Delilah a few times until she got the hint and excused herself, leaving us alone.
"So what did Declan do?" She asked me. Why did I have to be the one to make her upset?
"Please don't make me have to be the one to tell you." She looked up at me with her perfect, sparkly brown eyes and I got lost in them. Declan didn't even know what he had.
"Please." She begged. I pulled her into me so that I wouldn't have to see her face.
"He cheated on you with Caitlin. I saw them making out in the hallway yesterday right before the first live show." I could feel her start to shake and I close my eyes, wishing she wouldn't be upset. She only cried for a couple of seconds and then pulled away from me. Hurt was written all over her face. I watched her eyes search for Declan on the stage and I saw Declan look towards us. He had sympathy in his eyes as he watched the last tear fall from her eyes. I wante to laugh at him because of how much of an idiot he was. It's an absolute joke if he feels sorry. I helped Delilah up as she whipped her eyes and gave her a tight hug.
"I love you." I told her, pulling away to look into her eyes. She smiled up at me and gave me a kiss. I smiled into the kiss for two reasons, 1. I love her and 2. I knew Declan was still watching.
"I love you too." She said, pulling away and heading off down the hallway. Declan and I locked eyes once she was gone and I smirked, causing him to roll his eyes at me. Jackpot.
--------------
"So what am I wearing tonight!" I plopped down in a chair in the wardrobe room. Andre, our stylist, was searching through racks of dresses.
"What are you feeling like wearing, babe?" He looked at me, with his huge nerd glasses
"I don't want it to be too.." I made dramatic hand gestures trying to find the word. "Out there." Immediately he began to rummage through the racks upon racks of clothing.
"This dress would look amazing on you. How about with some black leggings?" Andre was holding up a very plain blue dress with a thin braided brown belt for at the waist. I nodded my head in agreement.
I felt like today I was just going through motions. I didn't want to be here. All I wanted to do was sleep all day. That was it. Andre admired the outfit he had put together when a knock on the door interrupted both of our thoughts.
"Yes?" Andre called and Eleanor stuck her head around the door.
"Can I have Delilah please? If you aren't busy?" Andre gave me a signal to go so I left. Eleanor lead me down the hall to an empty office.
"I just want to talk to you." She said and pulled out two chairs for us. I sat down facing her, not sure what to expect. "It's been crazy for you already and I know you think it's not fair like the world is putting more on your plate than anyone elses, but-"
"What did Louis say to Declan?" I cut her off, making my words and expression as cold as I could.
"It doesn't matter." She looked taken aback.
"Yes it does, how do you know? Why are you helping me keep my secret?" She pause and watched my eyes. Eleanor's not stupid and neither am I. If she wants to play games with me, fine. But I'm not giving in without a fight.
"Delilah, you're like the perfect mix of your mom and dad. Louis guessed and he ended up being right. As for helping you keep your secret, I repect your mother." I laughed out loud.
"Yeah, you told her. The same day you told her to leave!" I barked at her, infuriated.
"I've made mistakes. I want to fix them." I rolled my eyes at her. "Delilah, why are you keeping this from him? How do you look at him and keep this inside you?" She didn't have malice in her face, it was compeletely sympathy.
"I'm keeping it from him because me and my mom have given up everything, and I mean everything, to keep this secret, a secret. My mom didn't leave for nothing. Liam was better off with Danielle and he still is." Eleanor nodded her head and looked down. Then her head shot back up, eyes red and tears seconds away from spilling over her waterline. Now it was my turn to be surprised.
"Did you know I can't have kids?" The pain in her eyes was heartbreaking. "Ever. I used to be so devestated by it. I'd sit there and cry for hours because I believed that's all I'd ever wanted. Here's the thing Delilah," She leaned in closer to me, her tears falling silently. "I'm never going to have children but I'm okay with that because for the rest of my life I can look at the man I love and know that we have bond that's never going to be broken. That I love him more than life and he feels the same for me. Honey, Liam's never going to have that. Until the day he dies he's going to have to look at his wife and kids and know that there's someone better out there. He could be the happiest man on this planet but he's not because he's stuck with someone that he doesn't even love all because she's wearing your moms wedding ring." Her words were like a bullet shooting me through me.
"He's plenty happy. I've seen him." The other Delilah and Liam came to my mind. Them laughing and running around. I could picture him being the kind of dad who reads his kids bedtime stories and tucks them in. Who wouldn't ever dare miss a dance recital and who bakes cookies with them. I'm sure he takes them out to eat at the end of the day and asks them about there lives and if someone tried to hurt one of his kids, he'd be the one on top of them punching them, not holding everyone else back because like Zayn said, it's not worth it.
"Sweetie, you deserve a dad just as much as Delilah." As I looked at her own brown eyes, I realized that me and Eleanor had a wierd connection.
"I deserve a dad just as much as you deserve a daughter but that's not how this world works." She shook her head in disagreement.
"I've got Louis, that's all I need." I saw a clear dot pathing it's way down her cheek until it dripped off her chin.
"And I have my mom, and Roman. I'm fine with just that." My own eyes started to sting.
"You didn't audition just to get your name out there, I know you didn't. Delilah, you want your dad so go get him. You can do it literally right this very second if you want." We were both crying now. Both of us want something that we'll never have. I learned long ago that sometimes you just have to make sacrifices.
"He has a family. I can't separate them." What would happen if I did what Eleanor was asking me to do? It would fuck everything up.
"So join them!" She tells me, like it's that easy.
"And my mom? What does she do, sit there and watch me be happy with them! No one will ever care about her here!" Eleanor stopped and you could see the realiziation dawn over her. My mom deserved better than them and how they always treat her. That would never ever change.
"Delilah, if you could choose between seeing Roman happy with someone else or never seeing him again in this lifetime, ever. Which would it be?" She softened our argument.
"Never." I said. "My mom left for good. If she wanted to come back, she would have."
"What if Liam picks your mom over Danielle?"
"There's like a 1 in a million chance of that happening."
"If that was Roman, wouldn't it be worth that risk."
Yes. I didn't say anything. As Eleanor left without another word, I stared at the ground taking it in. I cried too, because I was terrified of what was going to happen next. Liam has choosen my mom over Danielle before.
How could my mom sit in that audience last night and not want to just run up to Liam and hug him and kiss him and tell him that she wants him back in her life? I sat there doing nothing but thinking of that one question for 20 minutes in that boring room until suddenly, I found the answer.
She did want to. And I could give her that.
-----------Author's Note-----------
......................................What's going to happen? You've got Declan who is pissed and knows the secret. You have Louis who wants to tell one of his best friends. You have Eleanor who wants to make it up to Audrey. You have Roman who's clueless. And you have Delilah, who's got way too much pressure on her...
Let's see what happens next ;)
xx, Ashley.