Please listen to the song...it doesn't really have any relevance to the story...but if you actually listen to the lyrics, they're amazing :)
Chapter 57
Shannon’s P.O.V:
I quickly surveyed my room; double-checking that I hadn’t forgotten anything. My phone lit up and Mark’s name flashed across the screen. I ignored it, throwing the still-ringing phone into my bag.
I paused, going to check the mirror once. Good, it wasn’t too obvious that I’d been crying.
Flicking off the lights behind me, I stepped out of the apartment and began walking. I headed in the general direction of the college gates. I walked at a brisk pace, my shoulders tense.
I wasn’t sure how long Nick would stay out; I just knew I didn’t want to be there when he got home.
I pulled my hood up and kept my head down, not making eye contact with anybody I passed.
Mark’s P.O.V:
It could only have been twenty minutes since he left when Nick rang. I answered immediately, wondering why he was calling so soon. Had Shannon locked him out or something?
“She’s gone” he rushed out anxiously, by way of hello.
“What do you mean she’s gone?” I asked, sitting up straight.
“I mean she’s not here. All the lights were off when I came in, she’s not picking up her phone and…” He stopped abruptly.
“And…?” I asked.
“My stuff” was all he said; his voice hoarse.
When he didn’t elaborate, I stood up.
“I’m coming over” I told him. “And I’ll call Jay. See if he’s heard from her. There aren’t many places she can go.”
I hung up and immediately dialled Jay’s number as I headed for the door; refusing to look down at Lee’s still form.
Shannon’s P.O.V:
I heard my phone ring again but I ignored it. Instead I raised my hand to knock on the door in front of me. I was surprised I’d made it here so soon.
The door opened less than a minute later and Nikki took one look at me before stepping back to let me in; a concerned look on her face. “What’s wrong?” she asked as she closed the door behind me.
I dropped my bag and sat down on the nearest chair. I’d never been to Nikki’s apartment before.
It was bigger than the one I shared with Nick, and definitely had nicer décor. The apartment was situated about ten minutes away from college in a nice enough building in the middle of the city. I knew Nikki lived with two other girls but I’d never met them.
I finally turned to look at her. She was sitting cross-legged in the centre of the couch, watching me silently; waiting.
“Nick slept with someone.”
Her mouth dropped open in shock. “What? With who?”
The words were bitter as they left my mouth. It was the first time I’d acknowledged it out loud; “he slept with Natalie.”
Her eyes narrowed as she regarded me warily. “As in the Natalie you were friends with?”
I nodded slowly, feeling a strange wave of shame wash over me. Tears pricked my eyes and I blinked quickly in an attempt to stop them from welling over.
“I’ll kill him” she muttered, “or better yet, ‘I’ll kick him really hard in the balls and then I’ll kill him.”
I smiled slightly and had the sudden urge to laugh. I wouldn’t want to be around when Nikki saw Nick; something told me she’d be downright scary.
“Why?” She focused on me again.
I shrugged; “long story.”
She opened her mouth, no doubt to tell me that she had time, when her phone rang. She leaned over to pick it up. “It’s Jay” she said; “I’ll just be a minute. If you want you can drop your stuff in there.”
She pointed to a room to my right. I nodded and got up silently to bring my bag into what I found out to be a bedroom. I immediately knew it wasn’t Nikki’s room, and not just because the majority of the pictures dotted around featured a small, mousy-looking girl with a sweet smile. No, I knew it wasn’t Nikki’s room because everything was pink; from the walls to the fluffy cushions placed neatly at the head of the bed over the perfectly aligned pillows and duvet. Nikki might love shopping but she was about as girly as I was, and pink just wasn’t her style.
Not wanting to intrude too much into this strange girl’s personal space, I gingerly sat on the edge of the bed; making sure not to leave so much as a wrinkle on the pristine covers.
I finally let down the wall I’d built up since leaving the apartment - pain radiating out from where my heart used to be crashed over me like a wave; suffocating, drowning, all-consuming.
I’d never felt anything like it before.
My grief spilled over, and I sat and cried; the silent tears leaving silvery tracks down my cheeks.
Mark’s P.O.V:
I didn’t bother knocking. I just opened the door and walked straight inside – not that I would usually knock anyway. Nick was slumped on the couch, an arm thrown over his eyes. He sat up when he heard the door, but resumed his previous position when he saw it was only me. A lesser person would have been offended – not me, of course.
I silenced the mental chatter and focused on my friend. “I just got off the phone with Jay” I began but Nick made no sign that he was even listening. I went on anyway. “He was talking to Nicole. Shannon’s with her.”
That got his attention. He sat up and looked at me with bloodshot eyes; his face haggard. It was only then that I realised that on top of everything else, he must have a bloody awful hangover. Serves him right, a small part of me screamed. The rest of me just felt sorry for him though; he was his own worst enemy. “It sounds like she’ll be staying there for a while.” I cleared my throat.
Nick sighed; “I’m not surprised.”
He pointed towards his bedroom and I walked over, remembering his cryptic comment on the phone. I stepped through the door and stared at Nick’s unmade bed in silence. I hadn’t been expecting this.
In piles on top of the covers were a good portion of Nick’s clothes; all folded neatly with other random belongings – like his phone charger –placed beside the clothes. On the floor were three pairs of shoes, all perfectly lined up.
Without a word, I turned and went back to the living room, shutting the door firmly behind me. I sat on the other side of couch, and it wasn’t long before Nick spoke. “I almost just wish she’d just fucked my stuff out of her room, or thrown them outside or something.”
It sounded strange but I could see where he was coming from. If she’d just fucked his stuff outside, as Nick had so politely put it, it would have been understandable. Nick did a horrible thing and Shannon must be extremely angry, but she’d calm down and Nick would have a chance to, I don’t know; explain himself or something - at least. This on the other hand, just seemed so, so cold. It was a rationally thought out process, as if Shannon had been perfectly calm, as if she didn’t care.
If she’d felt anything beyond friendship for Nick, she wouldn’t have been calm; she couldn’t have been. Had I misjudged the depth of her feelings? Had we all misjudged? Maybe she had just been looking to have a good time, and easy way to get her bit…no, I told myself, that wasn’t like Shannon at all. I didn’t believe she could string somebody along that thoroughly; she didn’t have it in her.
“What do I do now?” Nick whispered.
I couldn’t help thinking with some amusement that this was a case of the blind leading the blind. Neither of us had ever had any experience with relationships; serious or otherwise. We both preferred the single life. I for one had never fallen for a girl the way Nick had fallen for Shannon.
“I don’t know” I eventually said. “Wait I suppose.”
Nick shook his head, “I can’t. I can’t stand just waiting around; I have to see her.” He jumped up from the couch but I dragged him back down.
“Don’t even think about it” I warned. “You have to give her space. She clearly doesn’t want to see or talk to you at the moment and you have to respect that.”
“You’re right, I know, but it’s just so hard.”
I didn’t know what to say to that so I just stayed quiet. While I could sympathise with what he was feeling, I definitely couldn’t empathise…I’d just never been in his position before; not even close to it actually.
We sat in silence for a moment before Nick stood up again. “I need a beer” he announced.
Once again, I pulled him back down. “Don’t you dare” I said, and there was no friendliness in my voice. “Alcohol is what got you into this mess. That and your own stupidity, and I won’t let you make any more mistakes, though I don’t see how you can do anything worse.” I didn’t like saying it, but it had to be done.
He winced, but nodded. For the third time in as many minutes, he stood up. I watched him warily but all he did was walk over to his room; “I’m going to bed” he said flatly. “There isn’t anything else I can do.”
I nodded even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “Okay. I better go check that you didn’t kill Lee or something.” I couldn’t stop the boredom from leaking into my voice. I couldn’t give two fucks about Lee or his wellbeing, but the thought of all the paperwork I’d have to fill out if he was like, dead or something, made me shudder.
Nick tensed at the mention of the little twat’s name, but he didn’t speak. He just stepped into his room and shut the door behind him.
I sighed; I knew that Nick would probably call Shannon a few times, just as I knew she wouldn’t pick up.
I turned to leave, promising both myself and the silent apartment that I’d come back the next morning – Nick needed to sleep, and I didn’t want to jeopardise the few hours of rest he’d be able to get by coming back.
Besides, for the moment, there wasn’t much I could do.
Shannon’s P.O.V:
I quickly scrubbed my face with my hands and rid myself of as many of the tears as I could when I heard Nikki’s footsteps approaching.
“Everyone was wondering where you disappeared off to” she said gently, sitting beside me on the bed.
I didn’t look up. “I’m not a child. I’m allowed to go out if I want.” I knew I was being petty but I couldn’t help it – I wasn’t exactly in the best mood.
She just shrugged; “I know, but that’s what friends are for. We worry, and that’s not going to change any time soon.” I didn’t have anything to say to that. “I told Jay that you’d be staying here for a while” she continued.
“If you don’t want me here, I can leave” I said tearfully, only now realising that I’d been presuming a lot by turning up at her door with my stuff.
She shook her head vigorously. “I don’t mind at all. Alyssa is away for a few days so you can have her room. I’d offer to let you kip with me, but something tells me you don’t want the company.”
She was right about that. “But what will…Alyssa think?” I looked around at the obsessively neat room sceptically – I doubted she’d appreciate some strange girl crying all over her stuff.
Nikki shrugged, unconcerned. “Aly is one of the nicest people I know, she won’t mind. She’d probably even offer to go disable Nick in some way if she thought you’d appreciate it.”
I couldn’t help but laugh as I dabbed at my watery eyes with the edge of my sleeve. I wanted to meet this girl.
We sat in silence until Nikki’s brow puckered and she glanced at me hesitantly. “Do you want to tell me what happened? I mean if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.” I could tell she was practically dying with curiosity, but I’d I knew she’s never push for information.
I began my story when we were on our way home, just before we ran into Conor. There was no inflection in my voice as I dully stated the events that had occurred; as removed from what had happened as a newsreader announcing the day’s headlines.
Silence descended again when I finished, and I stared blankly at the back of the plain door, upon which hung a thick pink robe, as I waited to hear Nikki’s reaction. She’d looped her arm around my shoulders and I was grateful for the support. No matter how much I tried to numb myself to things, repeating everything had been hard.
“I’m so sorry Shan. I can’t even imagine how you must feel. If Jay ever did something like that to me…” she trailed off and was quiet for a moment before speaking again. “I honestly can’t believe he did that.”
I sighed; “I probably should have seen it coming. He’s notorious for being the biggest player around, and I was stupid to think he’d changed…that he could change.”
Nikki shook her head emphatically; “no. Don’t think like that. No matter what he was like, or what his past was like, anyone could see he was completely different around you. He did change. It’s just…everyone makes mistakes.”
I turned to stare at her incredulously. “Are you saying that I should forgive him, that I should just forget what he did?”
“No, of course not. What he did was wrong, and he has to face the consequences of his actions, I’m just saying that what he did doesn’t necessarily make him a bad person. He’s only human.”
I opened my mouth to argue that we’re all human, and yet most of us don’t betray people like that, but she interrupted me. “Forget it; I’m not making my point well at all. The bottom line is; he shouldn’t have done it; end of.”
I sighed, my shoulders slumping. I knew what she was saying was true; Nick wasn’t a bad person, but it still didn’t change anything – unfortunately for both of us.
Nikki stood up; “is there anything you want? Food?”
I shook my head; “I think I’m just going to sleep; if that’s okay?”
She retreated to the door, “of course. I’ll be around if you need anything; just shout. The bathroom is through there.” She pointed to a closed door with pictures stuck in a colourful collage decorating it. “And it connects to my room. Carla got the en-suite.” She smiled slightly, and with that she was gone.
I presumed Carla was her other roommate.
Even though it could only be sometime in the afternoon at the latest, I was dead tired. I slipped beneath the covers of the bed, trying my best not to mess anything up, and made myself as comfortable as I could under the circumstances.
I was plagued with a multitude of thoughts and images from the day, which I tried my best to block out.
Soon after, I slipped easily into a deep, dreamless sleep; content for the first time since I got up that morning.
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I hope you liked this chapter? Sorry, if it got confusing with the P.O.V. changes…
I know I’ve probably already said this about a million times, but I’m going away tomorrow for nine days. I’m going with loads of people from my year and other schools in celebration of finishing exams and leaving school…so let’s just say I won’t be getting much sleep.
When I come back though, I’ll try my best to upload as soon as I can. :)
Hopefully this chapter will keep you going until then.
Chau, Kaz xoxo