Steve and Lauren went to the city hall that contained all the school records during the summer. Lauren was boucing her leg and digging her nails into the back of her arm. Steve looked from the road to her and the other way around. His hand left the steering wheel, softly hitting her hand away. "Don't do that." She looked down and pulled away she hadn't even released she was doing it.
"Sorry,"
"It's fine." Lauren's leg started shaking her leg even harder. She took a deep breath and started to say something but didn't. That happened a few times before she finally said something.
"This is complete bullshit right?" Lauren looked over at him as she finished her left loose braid.
"Ye-"
"I mean, she shows up with her family to my dad's funeral. Which, yeah, yeah, I get, she loved the man or whatever. But the fact that she isn't even letting me speak or have a say in my future is absolute bullshit, right?" At this moment, all remnants of mourning were gone and replaced with anger." Like I'm not being irrational right now, right?"
"N-"
"She can't just rip me away for you guys. I've already lost so many people. I don't get it." Lauren started talking before Steve could talk.
"Lauren, she is your mom. I don't know. I know she has been pretty shitty at it, but maybe she thinks it was best." Lauren gave him the dirtiest look.
"Steve shut the fuck up." She took a deep breath. "Sorry that was bitchy, I'm not mad at you. It's just that she's more than shitty. I don't care what she thinks is best. She's ripping me away from everyone else that means anything to me." She said with air quotes. She wanted to scream and throw a brick out of the car window.
"It's only a few months."
"Only a few months? It's my whole senior year." Lauren yelled at him even though he wasn't the one she was mad at. "And then she says we have to leave in two days. I have shit I've got to do and stuff I have to put in place." She continued complaining about her mom. His hand moved to the back of her neck. She pushed it away softly, "Steve, my neck."
"I'm sorry, I just want you to know it's going to be okay." With his other hand, he turned into a parking space. They slid out of the car and walked into city hall. The man behind the desk glanced up at them.
"What can I help you with?" he said in the most monotone way possible.
"Yes, hi, umm, I need my high school transcript, please." He looked at them and blinked slowly.
"That will be a few hours. There are plenty of other people waiting," his eyes flicked from the two over to a waiting room full of people.
"Listen, I need it like yesterday, so get your ass up and go get it for me, please." She said with a fake smile.
"Ma'am there's no point in cursing it's not going to make me move any faster." He went back to whatever he was doing.
"Maybe my foot up your ass will make you move fast. I'm not in the mood for this right now. I leave for New York in five hours, and I have a colossal amount of other shit to get done."
"Well, maybe you should have come here sooner." Lauren's body jolted at the man being full of so much anger. Steve grabbed her before she could do anything. The man didn't seem fazed at all. "Three hours," Lauren jolted again. Steve held her back.
"Seriously -" her words were muffled by Steve's hand.
"Man cut her some slack she didn't know she was moving till the memorial."
"Three hours," he let go of her.
"Goddamn it man, it will take two fucking seconds of your life," Steve yelled drawing even more attention to the interaction. The man behind the counter didn't acknowledge them. "Can we just fucking go back there and get it? We have other shit to do before she leaves."
"Fine, what is your gosh darn name?" He pushed up out of his chair.
"Loretta Ann Hopper," the look on the man's face soften. Lauren held up her hand to get him to stop talking before he even spoke but he did anyways.
"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss."
"I don't need your pity right now. Just get me the fucking paper." He nodded walking into the back room. Lauren rolled her eyes moving back into the boy's arms. "Thank you." He hugged her back, holding he closer. The man came out of the room with a new sense of urgency and handed Lauren her transcript.
She accepted it and walked right out the door getting back in the car. They drove to the cabin to pick up other things they needed. They pulled into the makeshift driveway. They looked at the newly destroyed house. Lauren took the lead and walked through the door. The couch was sitting in front of the door making it harder to get in.
When she walked in she saw the house in ruins. There were holes in the walls and ceilings and wood all over the floor. Her room seemed to be mostly untouched at least from the fight that happened the night prior. Steve's dress search party didn't leave the room so lucky. There were clothes all over the floor and her bed. "Steve, what the fuck did you do?" He glanced in the doorway.
"I had to find a bunch of shit."
"Three things are not a lot of shit."
"You need a dress that you hadn't worn since the eighth grade, a black turtle neck, and a black dress. One of those things was in a box, which you failed to mention. The other was in the back of your closet considering it's the middle of summer, and the other one I didn't know which one you were talking about you have a shit ton of dresses." He said before walking over to elevens room to pack up her stuff.
Lauren folded up the clothes she thought were the most important shirts and put them in her suitcase. The less important clothes she put in boxes they had picked up at the post office. She was just going to pack everything up getting ready to move for when she came back. It wasn't in her slightest interest to stay in the cabin. Not if it was still a mess. Not without her dad. She looked at her room not knowing what to pack next.
Though she hadn't lived in the cabin long it still held so many good memories. The walls were coved in posters and pictures just the same as it was at the trailer, but something about taking the posters down this time sucked. She wasn't just moving across town. She started with all her music. Lauren took all the records from the shelf and put them into milk create. She was going to have Steve take them so that they wouldn't warp in the non-air-conditioned cabin. She grabbed the basket filled with mixtapes and albums on cassette and walked them to the living room just to free up space.
Lauren grabbed another box and began grabbing stuff on her desk. She didn't really know how to pack. She didn't know what goes with what, but she tried. She picked up a picture frame with a picture of her dad and El. It was taken after she got back from the hospital last November. She took the photo out of the fame not wanting to leave it behind but didn't have room for the big frame. This made her start taking down all of her photos.
She looked at all of them. The prom pictures, she smiled at Walt's stupidity. She pulled the photo booth film of photos of Steve and Lauren going from fighting to making practical porn. She looked at the picture of Nancy, Barbara, Walt, and her at the Wheeler's having a little party before high school. Each picture a different memory. She put them all in a small box shoving them in her suit case not letting herself part with them.
Unlike the pictures, Lauren could part with her posters. As much as she loved her Matt Dillon, Halloween, Gatlinburg, Steve Nicks, and any other poster she had she could leave them. She wouldn't need them when she got back. When she got back she was going to have to be an adult. Next year when she was going to have to raise a newly fifteen-year-old girl all by herself.
There was so much other shit she needed to pack up but she had no time. She zipped up her two suitcases with only the things she thought of as necessities. She wheeled them into the living room while Steve moved what was left of Elevens things to the bed of the truck. Lauren walked out throwing the cases in the truck. "You got everything?"
"No," Lauren ran into the house and her dad's room. She took a minute to process his messy bed and his ashtray full of cigarette butts. She walked over to the closet. She squatted down in fort of the safe. When she put in her birthday only one of the locks opened. It needs a key. A key Lauren had no idea where was. Lauren sighed thinking this was perfect and couldn't have happened at a better time.
Lauren crawled over to Jim's bed. She leveled herself with the ground pulling out a shotgun. She crawled back over to the safe. She got on her knees and brought the gun to her shoulder. She pulled back the forearm of the gun loading a bullet into the chamber. After she did so the did so she but her finger on the trigger. She shot the first bullet right into where the lock would be. It did a little but not a lot. She pulled the forearm back again squeezing the trigger again.
"Lauren?" Steve nearly ran the girl over. She didn't even realize how her ears had rung from the sound.
"What?"
"What are you doing?" He moved sitting down in front of her.
"What does it look like I'm doing? Move." She pushed him out of the way. Making sure he was out of the way before she shot it again. Steve coved her ears. She continued until the wasn't anything left in the gun but it didn't open. She dropped the gun and fell from her knees. Steve wrapped his arms around her. She started crying for what felt like the millionth time that week.
"It's okay," he whispered reassuringly into the air. She pulled into his shoulder with tears running down her face.
"Why can't it just open?"
"Because shooting it's not going to open it." He rubbed his hand down the back of her head.
"I thought it might I don't know."
"It's okay, Lauren."
"I know." She pulled away moving to the safe trying to pry it open with her fingers. Steve got up and walked out of the cabin. He came back with a crowbar to help the girl. "Thank you," he dug it into one of the bullets indents pushing it up in order to break it open. It was working. Lauren grabbed on pulling it back. Truly not helping whatsoever. But when they broke the lock it was easy to get open.
Lauren grabbed onto her social security card and her birth certificate. She also grabbed Elevens. She didn't know if they were Jane's before Brenner took her or fake documents after that Owens made to help Jim. Lauren gave Steve a long kiss as of she wasn't crying in his arms moments before. "Do you need anything else?" She shook her head setting the gun back under the bed.
She ran out of the cabin not even bothering to look back at it. When they got to the truck they drove to yet another destination before the final one in Indiana.
The truck pulled into Byers's' driveway. Lauren had a harder time getting out of the car every time. Because everyone she was getting closer to the last. Steve got out of the truck making Lauren do the same. She grabbed a box from the back before walking to the front door. Steve was standing at the door with a couple boxes waiting for the door to be opened.
Jonathan opened the door and took a few boxes out of Steve's hand. "She still hasn't really got out of bed or eaten really." Lauren sighed setting the boxes by the rest of them.
"Where is she?"
"Mine." Lauren walked to Jonathan's room and knocked on the door softly.
"Eleven. Honey, it's Lauren." She slowly opened the door to the dark room. Eleven looked over at the light coming in but didn't pay yo cents to it. Lauren kicked off her shoes and laid next to Eleven. "How are you?"
"Not okay." The girl turned over pulling her tear-soaked face into Lauren's shoulder. Lauren rubbed the girl's head as Steve was doing to her not that long ago. "Why," she bearly got the word out.
"I don't know. It's bullshit I know."
"Completely bullshit," Lauren scoffed. Lauren pushed the hair out of her face so she could see her eyes.
"I know it sucks and it's hard but you need to eat." Eleven sighed. Lauren hadn't either she had only eaten a couple of lunch meat sandwiches since before they went down the elevator.
"I'm not hungry."
"I'm not either, but we have to eat." Lauren knew that the girl may have been searching for a little control in not eating. She knee because she had done the same thing before. "Come on," Lauren pulled the blacket off of her, helping to get her up.
"Fine," Eleven kicked her bare feet off the bed before Lauren helped to get her up. The cold wood floor was different from the warm blanket and sheets. Eleven pulled the door open, opening up to a blinding bright hallway. "So bright."
"I know." When they walked out of the hall, all the kids that had been staying each trying to do what Lauren did in minutes. She pulled out a chair for the girl. The whole group of kids got up, "bread or whatever?" Jonathan glanced over in it general direction.
"On the fridge." The kids were staring at Lauren like she was the was the only way to her.
"What?"
"Can we talk to her?"
"She's your guys' friend, she is just mourning, you don't have to walk on eggshells around her. Go talk to her, it'll be good." The all nodded in unison and moved to the table. Lauren grabbed the bread and the peanut butter, setting it on the counter she opened about three drawers before finding the knives.
Steve reached for the knife while she tried spreading the butter, but her hand was shaking like crazy. "I can do it." Lauren handed it to her and, with a shaky voice, said,
"Remember cut the, the."
"Crust off for El. Yeah, I know, I got it." Lauren hated being strong she felt like it was just an act. She hated the fact that Eleven was hurting, that she was hurting her with her leaving.
"I am not okay, but I will be." Eleven repeated the same thing Lauren had all week to her friend. "Real soon, I hope."
"We're sure you will."
"Yeah, really soon," Lauren hoped to god that Eleven would be okay more than she wanted to be okay herself. She knew it was going to be hard, but she could not let herself fall back again. "In a couple weeks, everything should start to feel better. I hope." She said the last part under her breath. In truth, it should get better after all that is there to do, but move on with your life. But was that so easy.
"Yeah, El, she's right. It will be so much better real soon." Mike said, reaching out for her hand the same hand Stevie set her plate down by.
"Thank you." Everyone but Eleven and Lauren said to Steve. It wasn't that she was ungrateful it just wasn't what was on their minds. Despite Lauren's words, they felt like they still had to walk in egg shells around her. They sat quietly with wide eye stari.g at the girl who stared at the sandwich, paying no mind to anyone else's stares.
"Eleven." The girls eyes flicked to the Lauren. "Eat."
"I don't want them watching me." Just as she said that, they all quickly scurried out of the room.
"Now eat." Eleven picked up the sandwich and begain to eat. Her face lit up when she finished it, which didn't seem to be a hard thing to do because she looked nauseous. It was pretty quiet while she ate but every bite she took she began to look a little better every time. When she was done she whipped her face with he longsleved t-shirts sleeve. "You mad at me?" Eleven shook her head. "It's okay if you are."
"A little."
"I know. I can tell. I'm sorry."
"I don't expect it."
"That's okay. You can be mad, i understand, but you have to understand it won't change anything, I have to leave. I don't want to leave you, and you don't want me to leave. Guess what, though?" Eleven raised her eyebrows. "You're my sister-"
"I'm not blood." Eleven interrupted her.
"Oh, that bullshit and you know it. I know your mad but im not letting you pick a fight with me. I love you." Lauren sat there for a moment.
"I love you too." Eleven responded. She was mad, at her for leaving even though she couldnt control it. She was leaving her by choice even though again it want bu choice.
"You're not blood, yes but you dad's daughter as much as I am. You're my sister."
"You're my sister too. I'm sorry." Eleven added feeling horrible for ever reason possible.
"Don't be. I just want you to know I'm not leaving you forever it's only a little while. When I come back we'll be together again and I will never ever leave you again." She took even hands. "I'll do everything to get her as soon as I turn eighteen. I get us a little place or fix up the cabin and we're back okay so a few months." Eleven nodded as she continued. "I'll call all the time. Joyce isn't going to know what to do with that phone bill and Mike's just going to have to date us both at that point I'll be there that much."
"That weird." Eleven said with a faint smile.
"I know. I'm kidding. I'm coming back for you and everyone else." Eleven liked past the door in the room everyone was in. "What?"
"Steve?" A sureal feeling fell over her.
"I don't think so." Eleven held her hand this time. "It's not fair to him. We can't be the same over the phone like you and I can."
"Why?"
"It's unfair leaving him without me, and sex in general for a while isn't... I don't know?"
"Sex? What's that?" Lauren really hadn't realized she was talking about this or actually thought about the fact that Eleven hadn't known what this was.
"Oh, um, that more of a dad th-" there was no dad anymore. "I don't know if this is the right time."
"No, tell me." Goddamn she had definitely adopted the noisy habit from him and her. Lauren really didn't know what to say.
"Okay, umm. Sex is fucking awesome." Lauren immediately stopped talking there's a reason teenagers aren't the ones that talk about sex. "Pretend I didn't say that. Sex is how babies are made."
"You and Steve are having a baby?"
"Oh god no. I hope not."
"I'm confused."
"Just ask Joyce. I don't know how to do this. Just wait a minute before you ask." Eleven nodded. There was a knock on the door before it was slid open.
"We have to meet Diane." Steve said and Lauren's heart dropped she had to leave. Eleven looked at her with big eyes.
"Please don't leave me." Eleven said he grip tightening.
"I don't want to. I have to, I love you. Why dont you walk me out?" Eleven nodded, letting go of her hand. Lauren moved over to the open room she saw everyone still on their toes from Eleven. "I gotta go."
"You not going to say goodbye?" Nancy said to her before she pushed off the wall.
"Nope. I'm coming back."
"I don't care. I want a goodbye. I'm sure they all do. I love you."
"I love you too, Nance." Lauren gave her a hug, and Lauren returned it.
"How about we adopt you?" Nancy said, only holding her in a tighter hug. Oh, that sounds awesome. Lauren Wheeler."
"I think your dad would kill me." Nancy nodded, pulling away.
"I think so. Hey, good luck in New york. And get pepper spray, you know, just in case."
"Yeah, will do." Lauren kissed Nancy on the cheek before she saw everyone else waiting for a goodbye. She really didn't want to give them one she was going to see them all again. And truly she didn't want to say goodbye to anyone else she loved.
Lucas and Max were standing next to each other as they were always together. A smile rose to her face when she walked over to them. "Mucus. My favorite couple." The two rolled their eyes. She called them this from the very best. "Dont tell Nancy." Lauren said under her breath, getting a smile from them both. "I expect wedding invites."
"Were fourteen!"
"I mean in the future." Lauren looks at the other kids. "Sinclair," she whispered.
"Hopper." Lucas responded, standing straight up with his hand ready to salute. Something that made up all the way when Lucas was in the third and Lauren was in the sixth. A month later, Lauren moved to town. Before Erica came out of her, she'd before Lucas became Lucas before they all lost their innocence.
"You're a hundred percent my favorite." She whispered.
"I know." He responded still in position.
"At ease." It was at this point Lucas let his body fall back to normal and hug Lauren. "I love you and tell Erica I love her too."
Max wrapped Lauren in a tight hug. "Hey, I want you to call me if you ever need anything." Lauren held the hug till Max let go. When she pulled away, Max had an awkward smile and a faint nod.
"Hey boys." They smile at her.
"Hey Lo." Both boys responded with small smiles.
"I have a task for you two." Both boys looked intrigued. "Mike, i want you to take care of Eleven, I can't even imagine how she is feeling. Not only did she lose our dad, but she's losing her sister, and she lost a huge part of herself too."
"I understand."
"So take care of her because I love her and I know you do too, because I may have heard some things."
"Yeah, I'll take care of her." Lauren smiled at him as she pulled him into a hug. When she looked over at Dustin, she smiled.
"And you Dustin bun."
"Don't you start." Lauren ruffled his hat.
"Henderson, take care of Steve." Lauren hadn't decided what to do with Steve, and she wasn't going to say anything further till she knew. She was going to have to do it real soon.
"Saved the best two for last?" Jonathan said Lauren really didn't want them to be the last that would mean that she had to leave really soon and not only leave them be with someone she hearted more than anyone un the intire world.
"Well, hey to you too. I'm just going to keep this short because I kind of got to go, but thank you for being there for me when I needed you, and I'm sorry for leaving when I didn't anymore. You're welcome. May have not seemed like it, but you were my brother for a short time. Thank you."
"Thanks for being our sister." Will said, pulling her into a hug. When he pulled away, a faint tear remained in his eye. "We love you. I'm sure you're tired of hearing that now."
"I'll never get tired of hearing it from you guys." Lauren hugged Jonathan before she gave everyone a final smile. "Bye guys, see you, not soon enough. Seriously love you all," Lauren took Steve's hand and walked out the door, and the silence made her feel like shit. When breaking from the doorway, she knew that she couldn't make Steve wait. Steve reached for the driver's side door. "Steve?"
"Yeah?"
"You're not coming?" Steve looked confused.
"What?"
"Stay here. I don't need you to drive me." Steve tried not to laugh at her words.
"Yes you do unless you leaned how to drive in the past ten days." He didn't get it she was just going to have to tell him.
"Boyfriends drive there girlfriend's to the airport, not exs." Steve shook his head from confusion. "Steve do you understand what I'm saying because I don't think I can actually say it?"
"No." Fuck. Lauren just wanted him to get it so it wouldn't be as hard.
"Steve."
"No I'm not fucking stupid I get it but I'm not letting you do it. Get in the fucking car Lauren!"
"No Steve. Let me go by myself."
"Get in the goddamn car, Lauren!" Lauren didn't fucking move watching tears run down Steve's face. "Get in, please."
"I can't ask you-" Steve grabbed her hand and dragged her to the other side of the car.
"Get in. I'm not asking." Lauren reached for the door handle and pushed herself into the passenger side of the car. Steve slid in the front to the car years whipped from his eyes. "I'm sorry I wasn't trying to be aggressive."
"You're okay. You weren't trying nor hurt me." Steve pulled the truck out of the driveway and into the road. "Steve, I think we need to break up." The words nearly broke her coming out of her mouth but just like she was about to say she one hundred percent didn't want this for Steve.
"I don't want to." Lauren threw her hands up in the air, looking at him like she was stupid.
"Do you think I want to? I love you even if you don't love me, but you know tha-" Steve head jerked over to Lauren.
"What the fuck are you talking about? Where the hell do you get that from?"
"What‽"
"That I don't love you-"
"You completely dodged me when I said it!"
"You mean when you were high?" Steve continued on with the shouting that was going back and forth on the drive to the airport. "You say you want to suck me off when you high. So if you actually mean that to do it now." They both knew he wasn't serious, just trying to make a point.
"I actually fucking meant that. I fucking love you."
"And I fucking love you!"
"Then why are we screaming at each other‽" Lauren asked still screaming at the top of her lungs.
"Because you're trying to break up-" Steve didn't seem to quite his voice either.
"Because I'm moving Steve. I'm fucking moving!"
"I don't care! I do not care!"
"I do. If you love something set it free. That shit, Steve. It's not fair to you, okay?"
"How? I want to stay with you. You breaking up with me is unfair when we're happy. Maybe not right now, obviously, we just lost our best friend and you lost your- and you have to leave everyone and right now its hard but we're happy together. And you can't say we're not. So How the fuck is it unfair?"
"Steve. We see each other every day. How are we not going to for a year? Sex, for another reason. We have sex every day, multiple times a days, you think we can go a year without it-" she knew this wasn't the hardest reason, but it was still going to suck. It's how their relationship started in the first place.
"I've got a hand." Lauren rolled her eyes. "It's nineteen eighty-five there's a thing called a fucking phone. We'll talk every day. I want to stay together. And if I'm really the reason you want to break up. If you see it as unfair that I won't get to have sex with other girls and feel obligated to talk to every day, then take that of the goddamn list. Because I won't I'm not going to fuck anyone else. I'm going to call you every day. Because you're my best friend whether I get to kiss you in the morning or I have to call you just to hear your voice." They sat in silence possessing every word that they hand just shared. Studying every fact and desire. Steve's eyes kept wondering to the girl, waiting for her to say something back. She took a deep breath, looking over at him.
"Are you sure?" Lauren said, finally quieting her voice, letting her body release from the screaming tension. "Because I want you to be happy."
"I'll be happy with you even if you are a thousand miles away."
"Well, it's only like seven hundred and fifty." Steve smiled at her.
"Even better. It's not that long, really." Lauren knew he was just telling himself this. It was a while. A long while, but they wanted to try. Lauren scooted over on the bench and rested her head on his arm that was freshly wrapped around her shoulder. "I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say it back."
"I love you too. I'm sorry I made you cry."
"I've been doing that a lot recently. And it was only a little. I wasn't going to let you do it." Lauren rolled her eyes. Having this decided brought a small price of closure to one thing in her life at the moment.
☆
About an hour of driving and they can't help it. I love yous, and I can't help it tears were shared between the two the whole ride. Steve and Lauren had pulled into the airport parking lot. Steve pulled Lauren's two suit cases out of the bed of the truck, setting them beside her. "I'll call you as soon as I get settled, okay?"
"I'll be home." Lauren's smile faded when she saw Bill over Steve's shoulder waiting for her.
"I gotta go."
"We're only a few feet from the car. Why don't we run away?"
"You're eighteen it'd be kidnapping."
"Are you serious?" Lauren nodded. "Really." She nodded again. "I guess I'll let you go."
"I need you to sell the truck for me. Keep the money somewhere safe." Steve looked confused. "I need as much money as I can get when I get back. And I need you to tell Robin a sad I missed her but I'll call her. I love you. I have to go." She pushed up on her toes and kissed him.
"Lauren, ain't no mountain high enough." Lauren's mouth nearly dropped open.
"Oh my god, if you were anyone else I would have dropped you ass so fast after that little comment." Steve smiled after knowing she'd hate it. "Bye, Steve."
She couldn't look him in the eyes before she walked away so she grabbed her bags and walked to her new "family". One she didn't want nor need. They welcomed her with smiles, not getting any back in return. "Well, hey there, kid." Bill said.
"Don't call me that." Lauren pulled her hand away from her mother's attempt to hold her hand.
"You don't have to be a bitch Lauren." Diane grabbed her arm when she said this despite Lauren trying to pull away again.
"Mama!" Jennie exclaimed. "That's a bad word."
"I know, honey." Lauren nearly laughed. Diane didn't have a mouth like Lauren or Jim, but her or Sara would never have yelled at her for cussing, especially when they were only four.
"Can you please let go. I don't want to hold your hand."
"Fine. You better get used to it were a very affectionate family Lo."
"Don't call me that." Diane let go.of her daughter with a deep breath to keep from screaming.
"What can we call you then?" Diane asked, annoyed, like Lauren was inconveniencing her. Lauren didn't care in the slightest that her mom could use some inconveniences, and she didn't want to be called things her dad called her without it being by him.
"Well, you named me figure it out." Lauren sighed and looked at her mother. "And not fucking Loretta Ann, please for the love of god. I hate it." Diane rolled her eyes before walking off. The group walked to check their bags in silence, the mode being extremely tense aside from the child how could pick up social queues. When it was time for Lauren's bags, she could physically see the annoyance on Diane's face. "Just say it. I know what you are going to say." Diane shook her head as she was,"trying to be a bigger person. "Don't worry, I'll pay for the extra bag. Sorry, packing up and moving in two days is hard for you."
"Now, why do you keep trying to pick fights with me?"
"I don't know, maybe I really want you to abort me... Damn. Too late." The woman acted as Lauren's word didn't aggravate the ever living shit out of her, but it did. But it wasn't because she was sorry about what she said. Why would she be it was the truth. It was how she felt for years, and Lauren wasn't ten anymore she could clearly see that she had layers and that one was now covered in prestine wallpaper and paint. That's what was aggravating her was that Lauren was pouring the paint stripper even just a little.
"Don't worry. We're not aggravated. We couldn't expect you to fit everything in one suitcase." Bill tried to ease the tension. "Your second bag I more than alright."
"Thanks, Bill." He nodded with a smile, placing it on the conveyor belt. He was seemingly to put in an effort but. But Lauren couldn't think of a but. He was just not. Not anyone she wanted in her life. Then there was Jennie she was alright she'd only say three words to her.
As they sat down to wait for her flight, Lauren pulled out her head phones and began to listen to Dancing in the Dark on Bruce Springsteens tape that Lauren borrowed from Steve. It was at this moment she really realised she was moving she wouldn't be able to give it back. She wasn't going to see him for a year. She wasn't going to see Eleven for a year, and Nancy, Jonathan, and the kids for a year. Thinking about the inability it see them for an eternity to a teenager, she realized she was never going to see her very best friend and father ever again. They were both underground, whether six feet or about six hundred. Not where they should be at all.
Lauren decided to be respectful, at least to Bill, when she stood up. "Can I use the restroom?"
"Yes, be quick. We bourd any time now." Bill said. All Lauren listed for was the yes before she walked ran to the bathroom as she felt the tears for in her eyes. The last thing she wanted was for people to see her crying, so she stole a stall so she could let go.
For the first time since that night, she cried, and she cried and inaudible cry. She tried to compose herself time and time again, but little things fluided in her mind.
Christmas with her dad and Eleven. Her and Steve's first "kiss." Twilight Zone hooky days with Barbara and Nancy. Will and Jonathan's game of tag that they'd team up agent her. Walt's arm around her all of the time. The first night watching the Sinclairs was the quietest night of her life until Lucas let of the biggest burp in the entire world.
So many little memories she was leaving to live with the woman who only gave her bad memories horrible memories.
Watching her mother from a distance as she smiled all her smiles to Sara. Felt her eyes peering into her when she made a small mistake. Getting pushed to the side. What is now tied with two other nights for the worst night of her life. Two of wish she heavily influenced.
She had to leave every happy smiley memory of every person those memories were with. To be with every dark memory and two strangers, one with what Lauren only seemed to be a mask. The other a child that did nothing wrong than insist in place of something Lauren wanted deep deep inside. So deep she doesn't even know it's there.
When here eye dried up the pain didn't it was just sitting there making her feel sick to her stomach. Looking at herself in the mirror was humbling to say the least. The little bit if make up she put on was all ran down her face. It was mascara so it was hardly not noticeable she whipped it off the best she could and returned to the rows of seats sitting next to Bill in the seat that held her bag and her discarded walkman.
"You look like you've been crying? Are you okay?" Lauren eyes looked through her.
"No I'm not fucking okay. What the fuck kind of question is that?" Diane still had a smile on her face.
"You're making a scene." She said quietly.
"What's new?" Lauren pulled her headphones back up and began with a new cassette.
Time passed so did the songs, the conversations of her family, people walking by until it was time to board the plane she stood in line still ignoring everything around her. In truth there was nothing she wanted to do more than watch a movie with her dad at the moment. When she down Bill sat down next to her.
"I want to take this time to get to know you Lauren." Lauren nodded. "So what are you favorites?"
"Favorites?"
"Color, Movies, food, stuff like that, I want to know about my step daughter."
"Umm its very fluid but right now red. Probably Halloween, French fries, steak fries, any kind of fries really. And for other stuff, my favorite band is Blondie, and my favorite season is spring or fall."
"I love French fries." He looked down at his large stomach. "Hense how I look." Lauren let out a near laugh.
"Congratulations, Bill, you know about me than my own mom does." Bill sighed.
"You mother knows a lot about you." Lauren shook her head. "Yes she does. She's knows lot more than you give her credit for."
"Maybe you think that with the Diane you married but not the Diane that gave birth to me. If I didn't look just like the woman she hated most in the world inside from me she wouldn't be able to tell me apart from any other green eyed brunette." Bill tilted his head like he didn't agree. "Did she tell you want happen."
"Yes, Lauren, she told me everything. Everything from how she felt when she got pregnant to post partum and how she treated you." Lauren believed she told him enough not to scared him off. She also truly believed that Diane was happy with her family. That she loves Jennie.
Lauren felt that Diane wanted what she had with Sara again. She wanted to feel the love she had for a child, the why she did for Sara. Because she fell in love with Sara from the moment she held her. She needed it again. Sara was gone and her husband too. She was left alone what was left to do but make it again. Lauren believed this happened when Diane met Bill.
Lauren believed that Diane would never love her and never has. Maybe she cared when she had to, but that was it. Maybe when she needed people to think she cared but she truly believed that Fiane still resented her. And Lauren a hundred and thirty percent still resented her.
"What did she really tell you? I want to hear her side."
"You should talk to her about that." She didn't want to hear her side she heard everything she wanted to her from her years ago. She wants to know what she told other people because she was a lying bitch before why would that change anything.
"I really don't want to talk to that cunt-"
"No. Don't say that word, especially about my wife." He's stuness was honestly scaring. "I understand you don't like you mom Lauren but you're going to respect her and me." Lauren nodded honestly in fear of nothing. "I don't know how your father raised you but I don't want the cussing in my house."
"Okay. Can I listen to my music again?" Lauren really did not want to continue this conversation, and she wanted to distract herself, so she returned the headphones to her ears.
There was slight turbulence throught the whole thing it wasn't that Lauren thought she was going to drop out of the sky bus she still was holding the arm rest tight. When the turbulence was light and the seat beat light turned off, Lauren removed her headphones. "Hey Bill can I get up?"
"For what?"
"I want to get a coke."
"Yeah," Bill undid his seat belt and allowed Lauren to slide passed him. She walked passed an abundance of people to get to the back of the plane with the flight attendant.
"Excuse me, umm can I get a whiskey for my stepfather?"
"Yes, of course. Would you like anything?" Lauren shook her head and waited for the woman to fill up the glass. "Are you sure I can't get you anything?" The woman asker handing her the glass.
"No I am more than okay. Thank you." Lauren smiled at her and made her way back to her seat. The plane hit a slight bit of turbulence on her way back. Lauren grabbed on to a seat making sure not to spill her drink. The persons who seat she grabbed onto wasn't so careful spilling his drink down her arm.
"Oh my god I am so sorry." Lauren looked at her arm and wasn't mad she saw it as an opportunity.
"You are more than fine." She said standing back up and pounding her glass of whiskey back. She turned around heading to the back of the plane again. "I'm sorry could I get another one?" She looked down at her arm. "Spilt it all over myself."
"Yeah. Yep." She grabbed the cup and filled it back up. "Here you go honey. Pleae be careful." Lauren smiled making her way back to her seat, hoping it would happen again but not knowing if she'd get it filled again.
"Bill?" He looked up from his newspaper before standing up. Lauren slid back into her seat. When Bill sat down he looked at the girl.
"You know you dad's a hero. The fact thst only thirty some out of how many people survived." Lauren didn't say anything. "Your town is actually insane. The boy goes missing. They find a body that looks just him. The girl who died because of a chemical leak."
"Yeah, I lived it. I don't really need to hear it all again, Bill." The man nodded, look back at the Indianapolis inquirer.
☆
The fight was short, no more than two hours. It was quite bumby and would be Lauren's first and last fight. The whole time, she used the music and whiskey to distract herself from the roller coaster ride that was the fight from Indianapolis International Airport to JFK.
The ride in the car wasn't very pleasant either. The family sat in silence before they turned on an almost gospel radio. As they mad it into the east village, everything began to look familiar. Though it had been six years, she lived there for half that and had a very vivid memory.
Every street they turned down was more and more familiar. They turned the street parking in a garage that they used to park in it wasn't till this moment Lauren thought that they still lived in the same exact place. "You live in the same apartment?" She stated as Bill pulled her bags out of the car.
"Well, I mean yeah, we were still under a lease, and I just renewed it." Lauren thought it was a little weird. First, just being there was going to be weird. The fact that her and Jim and her barely could afford it the both of them was even more confusing.
"Do I get my old room at least." She asked as they walked the street to their apartment.
"Sara's actually. Jennie's in yours." Lauren nodded slowly. "I couldn't let her take Sara's room."
"But mine was fine?" She said under her breath.
"It's different."
"Oh, right, because you loved her." She said again under her breath this time so she couldn't be heard. Bill put the key in the key hole welcoming his family in. They walked up the stairs and put a second key in their door. When the door opened, it had shown a completely different house. Granite was the seventies the last time she was here. Still, things were entirely different. There was far more expensive stuff that would be in Walt and Steve's house. Not stuff that had ever been "Lauren's."
"Welcome home, Lauren." She had to avoid rolling her eyes. "I want you to make yourself comfortable." She wasn't ever going to be comfortable with her mother. Not ever again, not that she ever did. "You know where your room is." Lauren nodded, walking to Sara's room. When she opened the door, it looked like it hadn't been touched in six years. It looked as if not even a stuffed hare was out of place. She sat her bag on the twin sided bed. Looking at the pink and yellow walks mixed with the abundance of stuffed animals.
So many memories came flooding back some good some bad. These memories were all of life before these years of hell. Pictures in girly little frames of the two girls with huge smiles on their faces. There was a knock on the door, and Bill's head popped in. "Can I?" Lauren nodded, and he slid in the door. "We have a lot of business to do in the next week or so." Again, she nodded. "We can go get you a bigger bed and some stuff to make this really yours. Your mom really can't help but if you want to clear out some of Sara's things. Me and Jennie can help."
"Yeah, I'll take the bigger bed but the stuff. I can do myself." Bill nodded with a smile. He was looking around two. He had only really been in this room a couple of times himself. "Um, do you have a phone?"
"Yeah, in the kitchen. Who are you calling?"
"My sister and my boyfriend." Bill ushered her out of the room to the phone.