Koga took a deep breath as he paced back and forth in his room.
"I know it's been rough for you these past few days. I've been pushing you to your limits and being very strict. When we train, I don't hold back. But I do that because I know you can be better. You're one of the strongest I've ever known, and your potential is limitless," Koga smiles. With you by my side, I know victory will always be in our sight!"
The herculean beetle flapped its wings. Koga walks over and extends his arm, allowing the beetle to crawl onto the palm of Koga's hand. Koga gently pets the beetle's back as he exits his room. "You know what I think you need? You need a training buddy! Later in the week, we'll find you a friend!" said Koga. The beetle flapped its wings excitedly. "I just realized something. I never gave you a name. I need to think of one..."
"Oh! Oooh! My back!"
Koga stops walking and stares down the hall. Bunty was bent over slightly with her hand on her lower back. On the ground was a brown basket of freshly washed clothes. A few of them fell out of the basket. "Oooh, not again...." She groaned. "And I just cleaned all of these clothes..."
"You don't sound too well, bunty," Koga said, walking over to the bunty with his pet beetle on his right shoulder. "Here, let me get that,"
"N-No Koga, it's fine!" said Bunty. "I don't mean to be in your way-OW!" She cried as she hunched over.
Koga places the clothes back into the basket and then picks it up. "That did not sound good," He said. "You need to lay down and rest your back."
"Lie down?" said Bunty, perplexed. "Oh heavens, I'm not allowed to lie or sit down when I'm in the castle."
"Don't you get breaks?"
"What are those?"
"What--you don't know what breaks are?" asked Koga.
"I don't know much of anything, really," Bunty replied.
Koga stared at her for a moment. "Oook...where are these clothes going? I'll help you with some of the work."
"Koga, no dear, I can't have a noble knight of Dreamland to do a castle maids job," said Bunty nervously.
"Well, lucky for you, bunty, I don't consider myself a knight. So where are these clothes going?"
"Those are all of King Zog's clothes," said Bunty.
Koga took out Zog's white pajamas. "Zog's, huh? No wonder these clothes are all plus-size, ' he said, dropping the pajamas back into the basket. You have a seat, bunty, and I'll drop these off in Zog's room, OK?"
Bunty twiddled her thumbs. "Oh, I don't know, Koga..."
"It'll be fine!" said Koga as he walked down the stone hall. He then walked back to Bunty. "Where's Zog's room again?"
And so, Bunty showed the way to Zog's room. While on the way, Koga would ask her, "So, how long have you been working for this castle anyway?" Bunty would let out a deep sigh. "I've been here in this castle for seventeen years! I've watched both Beanie and Tavish grow up! I was even there for Prince Derek's birth!"
"Well damn, that's a long time," said Koga. "Have you ever thought about taking a vacation?"
"A vacation?" said Bunty, looking at Koga confused. "I don't believe I know what that is."
"You don't know what a vacation is? It's when you take some time off from work, enjoy spending time with your family, and relax."
Bunty gasped. "Oh my...that-that sounds like a fantasy. It's something I've always dreamed of!" She clasped her hands together and smiled as she fantasized about it.
"You don't know what a break is, and you've never had a chance for a vacation? Ok... that's it," said Koga. "Where's Zog's room?"
"We're right here," said Bunty as she opened the door to their room. Koga steps in and dumps the clothes onto his bed, which causes Bunty to gasp. "Koga, have you lost your mind?!"
"Come on, Bunty, follow me," Koga says, taking Bunty's hand and leading her to his barracks room. Koga opens his dresser, takes out his coin pouch, and hands it to Bunty. Here you go, Bunty."
Bunty's eyes widened. "K-Koga, is this your money?"
"Take it and go somewhere nice for the day, ok?"
"B-But Koga, Zog isn't going to let me just-"
"Let me deal with Zog," said Koga. He placed his hands on Bunty's shoulders and said, "You don't need to worry about anything. It's going to be ok!"
"I...well...." Bunty smiled as she stared at the bag of coins. "Stan and I have always talked about going somewhere nice and spending quality time alone."
"Exactly-"Koga paused suddenly. "Wait, you and the executioner are married?!"
"That's right, sweetheart!" Bunty nods. She sighed, thinking about him. "He's such a wonderful and sweet man!"
"I-Wow...how did you two end up together?"
"We got married over a goat!" Bunty replied cheerfully.
Koga stared at Bunty for a moment. "Ok..." he said. "Well, anyway. TURBISH! MERTZ!" he shouted.
Turbish and Mertz appeared at the entrance of Koga's room. "You called Koga?" said Turbish.
"Turbish, you go find a chariot for Bunty and Stan and find a place where they can relax. Mertz, go get Stan and tell him he and Bunty are going on a vacation!"
Turbish and Mertz looked at each other and back at Koga. "Uhh...did you run this through King Zog?" Mertz asked.
Koga groaned in annoyance. "Just go tell Stan Mertz!" he ordered. Turbish was able to get together a chariot and find someone to take Bunty and Stan to a relaxing location, and Mertz was able to inform Stan of the sudden vacation. Stan packed a few belongings with him, and they met in the courtyard. Bunty had on her home attire, which was an average blue gown. Her burnet hair, usually covered up in her maid's attire, was tied up in a neat bun.
"Oh, Stan, I'm so excited!" said Bunty as she wrapped her arms around Stan.
Stan was a tall, heavy-set man. He looked as though he was overweight, but much of the fat looked to be muscle. He had short, dirty, blond-looking hair and had tiny bits of her hair around. "As much as I love chopping off the heads of wrongdoers, I've been wanting to relax alone with you ever since we got married for that goat!"
Bean, Elfo, and Luci walked out to the courtyard. Bean looks at Bunty and Stan, curious about what's going on. "Oh my god, are you two quitting?" She asked.
"No, mum, we're not quitting. We're going on a vacation!" said Bunty.
"A vacation?" said Bean. "Zog let you two go on a vacation?"
"Koga gave bunty his saving's so we can take one!" said Stan.
Bean looked over at Koga. "You did?"
Koga shrugs. "It's no big deal,"
"And Zog is ok with this?" Elfo asked.
"He doesn't need to know," said Koga.
"Exactly!" said Bean, smiling. "Besides, what's the harm in- "
"WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A VACATION AND WHY DIDN'T NO ONE COME TO ME?" bellowed Zog. He walks out into the courtyard, followed by Odval. Bunty anxiously wrapped her arm around Stan as he stood before Bean, Elfo, Luci, and Koga. "Who in the hell is making decisions on who gets vacations?"
"It is as Turbish said, your highness. Knight Koga-"Koga would correct Odval by stating he's not a knight. "Is the one that thinks he can make orders just as you,"
"The new guy, eh?" said Zog, glaring at Koga. "So, you think you can go around and say it's ok to do what they want?"
"Yeah, I do," Koga replied. "Bunty has been working her ass off for years serving you. I think she deserves a break."
"First off, I am King, and I make the choices around here, not you! Secondly, It doesn't matter what you think! And if you ever go behind my back again, I'll have your head chopped off! So you can keep your dumb opinions to yourself and let those in power do the thinking!"
"If the thinking is up to you and three-eyes over there, then no wonder this kingdom is in the gutter," said Koga, staring down at Zog, unphased by his rage and threats.
Odval looked annoyed at the three-eyes comment. On the other hand, Zog looked as though he was about to pop a blood vessel. "THAT'S IT YOU-"But before he could finish what he wanted to say, Bean stepped in front of Koga, glaring at her father with her arms crossed. "Not now, sweetheart. I'm about to have this chump's head cut off!"
"You're not going to cut anyone's head off!" said Bean. "And you know what? Koga's right! Bunty does deserve some time away! So why not give it to her?"
"Because I'm the one who makes those choices! Not him!" said Zog, pointing at Koga.
"So give bunty some time away from the castle so she can rest!"
"FINE! SHE CAN GO!" Zog shouts. His eyes widened at the realization of what he just said.
Koga grins, turns to bunty and Stan, and says, "Looks like you two are good to go!"
Bunty and Stan look at each other in delight and smooch before they hop into the carriage. Stan looked at the carriage driver, "Let's roll, Chazzz!" He said. Chazzz looked back at Stan. "I'm on it, best friend!" Chazzz snapped the reins to the chariot, and they were off. "Take care, everyone!" Bunty waved to them. And they were gone.
"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" Koga said, turning to face Zog.
"YOU SON OF A-"
"I'd love to sit here and listen to your threats of wanting to kill me, but I got a job to do, so I'll see you around," said Koga as he walked off.
"See you, Dad!" said Bean as she, Elfo, and Luci followed him.
"I KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO THREW MY CLOTHES ON THE FLOOR!" Zog roared.
Bean, Elfo, Luci, and Koga strolled down the cobblestone streets of Dreamland. The trio laughed as Bean joked about Zog's expressions of anger when Koga talked back to him. "He looked like he was going to explode!" said Elfo.
"I thought he was going to!" said Luci.
Bean looked over at Koga and smiled at him. "That was really sweet of you, though, Koga," She told him.
"Like I said, it's no big deal. Bunty reminds me so much of Barbara, so...I couldn't help myself." Koga brushed his hair back.
"You're such a big softie, Koga," said Elfo, smiling at him.
"Yeah yeah, don't make a big deal out of it," said Koga.
"So, where are you headed off to now?" Bean asked.
"I'm going to babysit Bunty's kids," Koga replied. "She said the kids didn't need to be babysat, but I insisted on it."
Bean, Elfo, and Luci paused. The three of them looked at each other and then at Koga.
Koga turned around and saw their looks of shock. "What?" He said. "What is it?"
"Do you know how many kids Bunty has?" said Bean.
Koga shrugs. "I don't know. Three?"
***
Koga looked in pure shock and horror as he stood in Bunty's home. Ten kids stared at Koga. Koga's eyes went from the pig-tailed girl with brown skin who wore a dingy green shirt to the red-headed girl who wore a dirty yellow dress, the pale-looking boy with black hair, the short-haired blond child who wore a red and grey outfit, and a handful of other children.
"HIII!" They all greeted him.
"Wha-wha...what in the hell..." Koga stuttered. "These... can't ALL be Bunty's kids, right?" He turned to Bean.
Bean nods. "Every last one,"
"I can't believe Bunty thought they didn't need to babysit! I mean, look at them!" said Koga. He then sees a small baby dressed in a light blue dress with blond hair sticking out of his head. "HE WAS JUST BORN!"
"He was born a few months ago," said an olive-skinned girl dressed in what seemed to be a miniature midwife outfit.
"A-Are you a midwife?" Koga asked.
"Yes, I am!" She said proudly. "We all have jobs!"
"I'm a plumber!" said a boy with light burnet hair.
"I tend to Chimy's!" said The blond boy dressed in red and grey.
"Alfred over there is a miner!" said The boy with black hair.
"Mining makes me nervous..." said Alfred shyly.
"Wow... plague, rampant poverty, AND child labor..." said Koga, shaking his head.
"Isn't Dreamland the best?" said Luci.
The small baby with blond hair crawled over to Koga's feet and began trying to crawl up Koga's leg. Koga kneels over and picks up the baby by its leg, causing the baby to laugh.
"KOGA DON'T DO THAT!" Elfo yelled. "You don't pick up babies like that!"
"What? I always pick up babies like this," said Koga.
"Yeah, that's not how you're supposed to pick up babies, Koga!" said Elfo, scowling up at Koga.
"I mean, he seems to like it," said Bean. "So I don't see the problem."
"The blood is going to rush to his head!" Elfo exclaimed.
"Ok, okay," said Koga, dangling the baby by the back of his shirt. "Better?"
"Oh, my god..." Elfo facepalms. "Bean, can you please show Koga how to hold a baby?"
"Uhh..." said Bean, looking at the giggling baby. "Sure, I guess." She reaches over and picks up the baby by its waist. The baby giggles at Bean, and Bean smiles at him. "Aww, he's so cute!" The baby would then spit up on Bean's blue shirt, and she gasped. "AW WHAT THE HECK? EWW!"
"HAHAHHA!" Luci laughed.
"What's the big deal, Bean? You barf all the time," said Koga with a smirk.
"Right? In a very similar manner, too!" Luci teased.
"Excuse me, Mr Koga," said The Midwife girl. "It's time for us to go to work! It looks like you all will be in charge of the wee ones!"
The kids got up from the table, grabbed their equipment, and headed out the door. Bean quickly handed the baby back to Koga, cleaning the baby's barf off her shirt with a handkerchief. The little kids left were the baby Koga was holding, a short-colored boy and a girl with black hair dressed in a yellow dress with a heart stitched on it, another baby in a basket sleeping, and a few others.
"Umm..." Koga looked at some of the kids. "Is it me, or do some of these kids don't look like they belong to Bunty?"
"I know a few of them are hers," Bean replied. "But she does take in a lot of orphans, from what I know. She always told me she never turns away a hungry face."
"With how many people drop dead daily, it's unsurprising," said Luci.
"Yeah, that's just how she is," said Bean. "She was always there for Tavish and me when we lost our mom. I've never known her not to care for anyone who needed it."
"Huh..." said Koga, staring at the baby, who stared back at him. "She really is cool..."
Elfo sniffed. He grunts and covers his nose. "Argh! What's that smell?!"
Bean sniffed, and she quickly covered her nose. "Did that baby just..."
"Yup," said Koga. "He went number two." He quickly handed the baby to Bean. "Here you go, Bean!"
"Wait, what?!" Bean's eyes widened. "What the hell, Koga?!"
"Don't you know how to change a baby?" asked Koga.
"I've never handled a baby before!" said Bean. She thought about it for a moment. "Well, ok, that's not true. There was that one time I switched a bunch of babies at the hospital, but that's it!"
"Hold on, Koga. I thought you said you knew how to take care of kids?" Elfo said.
"Well...to be fair, Freya did more of the babysitting while I just did a lot of the watching," Koga admitted.
Elfo crosses his arms and shakes his head in disappointment. "I guess even someone as strong as you can't ever handle small, simple tasks like this. What a shame..."
Koga stares down at Elfo.
...
.....
......
"This is no place for a grown-ass elf..." said Elfo bitterly. He was sitting in a makeshift cage that bunty built to place her kids in, and Elfo was dressed up in a pink outfit with a tiny baby hat.
"Baby doesn't like playtime?" Luci teased, and Elfo groaned in annoyance.
Koga laughed at this, and Bean loudly cleared her throat. "Umm, that's funny and all, but I'm holding a baby that just shat itself, and I don't know what I'm doing."
"Ok, ok," said Koga, walking over to her. "I need... um...baby powder, a cloth, and a fresh diaper." Luci was scavenging around the room, grabbing all the items Koga had listed and handing them to him. "Good, now let's just take this off."
Koga unbuttoned the baby's bottom and took them off. "JESUS CHRIST!" Bean screamed.
"OH MY GOD!" said Koga, covering his mouth and turning away. "Are you really supposed to clean that?!"
"ME?" Bean snaps her eyes onto Koga. "I'm not touching that! You clean it! You're the babysitter!"
"Shit..." said Koga. He grabs the cloth and begins cleaning the baby, all while cringing. Once the baby was clean, he placed the dirty cloth and clothes aside and dressed the baby in new clothes. "Done..."
"That was horrifying..." said Bean.
"You guys are so overdramatic..." said Elfo, rolling his eyes.
'Uh, guys," said Luci, staring at the baby. "I think something's wrong with the baby."
Bean and Koga looked at the baby. The baby's face twisted, and the color of it was red. The baby let out a loud whale as it began to cry. "Ok, your turn," said Koga, picking up the baby and handing it to Bean.
"Goddamn it, Koga!" shouted Bean. "I don't know how to calm a baby down!"
Koga would reply, "Just cradle the baby in your arms and rock him!"
Bean did just that. She cradles the baby and rocks him. Still, the baby did not stop crying. "It's not working!" She said. "Now what?!"
"Umm...try humming a song?" Koga suggested.
"I don't know any songs!"
"Just sing something!"
Bean looked at the crying baby and began singing, the first thing that came to her mind. "Old King Zog, dumb as a frog, brains of monkey, balls of hog—" the baby began to cry louder as Bean sang. "Hey, my singing isn't that bad!"
"For the love of god, guys, the baby must be hungry!" said Elfo. "He probably hasn't been fed yet!"
"Well, if that's all he wants, then Bean, take off your shirt!" said Luci.
"Excuse me?!" said Bean, batting her eyes at Luci.
"The baby needs milk, so give it some milk. Straight from the utter!"
"Ok, first off, HELL NO! Second, I'm not pregnant, so I don't have any milk to give!" said Bean. The baby began to squirm around in Bean's arms, crying louder.
"Hey, bring him over here!" said Koga. Bean turned around and saw Koga standing beside what looked like a makeshift utter. Bean brought the baby over to the utter, and the baby quickly grabbed on and began drinking the milk from it. Everyone sighed in relief as the baby finally stopped crying. Bean and Koga let out another sigh of relief. Then, shortly after, all the babies that were asleep had suddenly begun crying.
"Shit..." said Bean and Koga.
...
An hour later, Bean and Koga fed all the babies, changed them, and rested. They did this just as the older kids returned from their jobs. Thankfully, they could provide and change themselves for bed. Bean, Elfo, Luci, and Koga were sitting down at the table. Bean had her head down, Luci was lying across the table, and Elfo rubbed his head softly, recovering from a headache.
"I thought that they would never stop crying..." said Elfo.
"This is why we eat children in hell..." said Luci.
"I don't ever want to be a mom...EVER!" said Bean.
"That wasn't so bad," said Koga.
"Are you kidding me?" said Bean, raising her head from the table. "They kept crying, and pooping, and crying, and pooping again. One of them barfed on me twice!"
"You think you had it bad!" said Luci, looking over at Bean. "Those evil little bastards were trying to pull me apart!"
"You think you two had it bad!" said Elfo. "One of them kept using me as a chew toy! I can't believe gums can be so ferocious..."
"Man...we can barely last a day...and bunty has to put up with this all the time..." said Bean. "She really did deserve that vacation..."
"Tell me about it..." said Elfo.
"I liked it," said Koga.
"What part of caring for these little monsters did you like?" asked Luci as he snapped his eyes onto Koga. "Don't get me wrong, I love chaos when I'm not a target for it, but this was insane."
Koga shrugs. "I mean...yeah, it's a lot of work, but when you see them happy and sleeping peacefully, you get this warm sense of accomplishment," He looks over at the sleeping children. "I wouldn't mind having a kid of my own."
Bean's eyes widen a bit. "Really?"
"Yeah," Koga nodded as he gently rocked the sleeping kid's crib. "I just have to understand how to be a good dad. When I do, I think I'll be ready to have a kid..."
"Oh..." Bean felt a slight tingle in her chest.
"Aww, Koga..." said Elfo, smiling at him. "I'm sure you'll be a great father in the future,"
"You think so?" said Koga, turning to Elfo.
"Yeah!" said Elfo, optimistic. "You know Koga...I'm glad you're starting to open more to us, Koga."
"Don't get used to it," Koga replied quickly. "Let's go to bed."
"Wait, we're spending the night here?" said Luci, surprised.
"Yeah, we're not going to leave them here alone," said Koga.
"Oh, come on, they can take care of themselves! They always do!"
Koga glared at Luci and slowly said, "We-are-spendig-the-night..."
Luci stared up at Koga and then quietly said. "Ok..."
Bean, Elfo, Luci, and Koga were all in their separate sleeping spots. Elfo and Luci quickly fell asleep, and their soft snores filled the room. Bean had not yet fallen asleep. She looked over at Koga, who was wide awake and sitting beside the kids. Any time one of the kids made a noise, he would check up on them. Bean stared at the ceiling of Bunty's home.
"No..." Bean thought. "There's no way I can be a mom. I could never raise a kid. I'd be a terrible mom. They'd hate me..." She closed her eyes. "I would never in my life put a child through that..."
She looks over at Koga once more. She sighed and lay back down.
"Well, I could be okay if I had someone like Koga. I guess it wouldn't be too bad."
With that thought, Bean fell into a deep sleep.