#DS6Unwavering #CirCoal #SharkFamily #DaggerSeries
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: MEDICINE
CIRCE'S POV
Hinihingal na sumampa ako sa surfboard ko. I've been training for hours. Pakiramdam ko ay nagrereklamo na ang mga kalamnan ko. Even my skin is red from being under the sun for a long time.
Despite that, I am quite enjoying myself. La Union's waves are great. And it's also been awhile since I could enjoy myself without reminding myself that I needed to hurry back to my daughter. Hindi ko kailangan mag-alala na baka nakakaistorbo na ako kay Tala o kung sa kanino ko man siya iniiwan pansamantala habang nag-e-ensayo ako.
Knowing that Coal is with her, I feel at ease.
Kanina ay natatanaw ko pa sila sa dalampasigan mag-ama. They even went swimming. Dala rin nila ang surboard ni Kaise na enjoy ne enjoy magpakitang-gilas. During lunch, they made Tala use her megaphone to call me over so we could eat what Coal prepared for us. Pagkatapos no'n ay bumalik na sina Coal at Kaise sa beachfront hotel namin dahil nagsisimula ng antukin ang bata habang naiwan naman si Domino na binabantayan ako kung saan mang posisyon siya nandoon.
"One more, and I'll head back," I murmured to myself.
I was about to start paddling again when another surfer caught my attention. Trying to be a surfer is the right word.
As a pro-surfer, I never look at beginner surfers and think that they are ridiculous, though obviously they make a lot of mistakes. Naiintindihan ko sila dahil lahat naman nagsimula biglang baguhan. What I can't stand are Kooks. They are the kind of people who don't respect surf culture, or any other culture, for that matter. They are the ones who are beginners as well, but they think they are pros. Ang mga beginner gustong matuto, ang mga Kook feeling nila magaling na sila kaya hindi na kailangan.
Which is preposterous. Kahit na nasa anong larangan ka pa, hindi pwedeng sabihin na perpekto ka na. Life is dynamic, and improvement is part of existence. Aiming to improve is better than aiming to be perfect. If you shut away growth, it wouldn't be long before you crashed and burned, because no matter how high you think your position in the food chain, there will always be someone better than you that could devour you in a second.
Kahit naman ako may bago pa rin na natutunan hanggang ngayon. I learned through experience, and if I needed more than that, I asked questions. What I don't like, though, is unsolicited advice from people who think they know better but turn out to not know what they're talking about. At ayoko talaga ng pinakikielamanan ako. Kung may kailangan ako, marunong akong magtanong. Kaniya-kaniya naman kasi ang lahat sa paraan kung paano nila gustong matuto.
Kooks are different. They don't have the experience to back up their egos, and they won't let you convince them otherwise.
I tried not to roll my eyes when I saw the GoPro attached to the Kook's longboard. Kanina ko pa siya napapansin. He has the tendency to paddle narrowly next to another surfer, which only proves his lack of knowledge of surfing. Pero dahil wala akong planong makipagtalo ay lumayo na lang ako kung saan siya orihinal na naka puwesto. People like him are either accident-prone or a hazard to others.
Ipinilig ko ang ulo at hindi ko na lang siya pinagtuunan ng pansin. Mukhang abala siya sa pagkausap sa camera na nakaharap sa kaniya kaya siguro naman hindi niya ako gagambalain. Kung bakit kasi pumunta pa rito. May spot naman siya kanina na sarili.
I paddled enough distance and started watching for any oncoming waves. When I found a big one, I turned my board around so that I could paddle back. It wasn't long before I popped up so that I could begin riding the beautiful current. I was close to the peak, and I watched it closely so that I knew how the wave would break.
I was so immersed in it that I was too late to notice that another surfer was right behind me. Fucking, Kook. Iginalaw ko ang surfboard ko para iwasan siya. I would have done it easily, except the jerk seemed to have cold feet, and he pushed, then jumped off the board, which came flying. At me.
It would be a lie if I said that, since I've done this countless times, falling is as easy as breathing. But it's not. In fact, it feels like the air in my lungs is being sucked out of me.
I curved my body with my bottom sticking toward the ocean flow while I raised my arms to cover my head. I didn't fight the water as it dragged me down and instead I let it take me. Panicking and fighting the wave will not help me. Relying on all the air that I had, I waited for the wave to calm down. When it did, I swam up, pulling the leash of my board, which thankfully didn't snap.
I want to fucking scream when my head is above the water again. Not because of relief, but because I wanted to strangle the Kook. I also want to hit him with his own surfboard so that he knows what it feels like.
But I didn't do all that. Instead, I get back on my board, and I search for the man who's currently unscathed and looking for his board that either broke off of him or he didn't attach it to his ankle in the first place.
He spotted me, and like the entitled ass that he is, he raised his hand like I was a lifeguard. "Help!"
I paddled my board in his direction. Close enough so that he could hear me, but not enough for me to help him.
"Do you have water in your brain?" I asked calmly.
Napuno ng pagtataka ang mukha niya. "Ha?"
"Para kasing tubig lang ang laman ng utak mo. Is your brain floating somewhere like your missing surfboard?"
Napanganga siya na para bang hindi siya makapaniwala na may taong kakausap sa kaniya sa paraan na ginagawa ko. Iyon kasi ang mahirap minsan. Kahit alam na alam namang mali ang taong kaharap, ayaw itama. Laging "Pagbigyan mo na lang. Ikaw naman ang mas nakakaintindi.". Sa huli hindi sila natututo kasi wala namang consequence eh. People tolerate things because they don't want confrontation, but it doesn't solve anything. Dumadami lang ang mga taong entitled sa mundo na akala ata ay sila lang ang may karapatang intindihin.
"That was my right of way. You don't drop in when it's not your wave."
He struggled to speak for awhile, but when he found his voice, I could see that he was already starting to fume. "Bakit? Nabili mo ba ang dagat para masabi mong sa'yo 'yon?"
I felt something strange with the water around me. Hmm.
"You're such a Kook. Mukhang mamahalin ang surfboard mo at ang suot mo pera parang nagtipid ka sa surfing lesson. You don't even know the basic surfing etiquette. Like, I don't know? Aside from not stealing someone's wave, you also don't jump off your board and abandon it." Tinuro ko ang dagat kung saan naglalakihan pa rin ang mga alon. "You don't have respect for other surfers, and I bet you don't have respect for the ocean as well. And trust me, I can forget about you, but nature doesn't. Sana lang next time ikaw lang ang masaktan at hindi ka na mandamay pa."
Bago pa siya makapagsalita ay nakarinig ako ng malakas na tunog na papalapit. I shouldn't have been surprised when I saw Coal on a jet ski, riding in our direction. Oh he's mad. Really mad. His face is dark, and I wouldn't even be surprised if he hit the Kook intentionally.
Mukhang hindi lang ako ang nakarekognisa no'n dahil sa gilid ng mga mata ko ay kita kong nagpapalingon-lingon sa paligid ang lalaki para hanapin ang nawawala niyang surfboard.
Coal reached us at a lightning speed. If looks could kill, the Kook would have been floating lifelessly right now. "What the fuck was that?"
He didn't shout. He growled. There's nothing more fitting to describe those few words that came out of Coal's mouth.
Inangat ko ang kamay ko. "Help me up."
Hindi inaalis ang tingin sa lalaki na tinulungan niya akong makasampa sa jet ski. Inilagay ko sa rack ang sufboard ko.
Coal is using what seems like a rescue jet ski, so there's a lifesled at the back that other people who aren't riding behind the driver can hold on to.
May itinuro ako kay Coal at kaagad naman niyang naintindihan ang gusto ko.
"Wait! Iiwan niyo talaga ako dito?!" tawag sa amin ng lalaki.
I fished the stray board out of the water and Coal drove back to the man who looked relieved.
His relief only lasted for a second when I threw the board beside him. Kung pwede nga lang na ibato ko sa kaniya mismo.
"You don't know how to surf. You lack the skills, which is not a problem if you're just willing to learn. Pero mukhang hindi ka gano'n." I tipped my chin to the surboard. "I hope you're good at swimming at least. At sana rin alam mo kung paano makaalis sa rip current. Because you're in one. If you don't know how... well..." I dramatically made my face somber. "You're fish food."
Whatever expletives the man threw back at me were drowned out by the roar of the vehicle. Kumapit ako sa beywang ni Coal at ipinatong ko ang baba ko sa balikat niya. "You're such a Superman, Daddy Shark."
"Hindi ba dapat Aquaman?" tanong niya.
"Pwede rin. He's hotter than Superman if you ask me. He has angst, and he's always half naked."
Binagalan ni Coal ang takbo ng jet ski nang malapit-lapit na kami sa pangpang. When we finally reached it, he cut off the engine.
"I'm not sure I like the fact that you're checking him out," he said when he dismounted from the ride to help me down.
"I have eyes." I booped his nose lightly, and I just laughed when he attempted to bite it. "Don't worry. I appreciate Aquaman's half-nakedness because, well, he's half-naked. You, on the other hand, I appreciate with or without clothes on."
Umangat ang sulok ng labi niya at kinuha niya ang surboard ko sa pinagsabitan niya no'n. Bitbit iyon na kinuha niya ang kamay ko at iginaya niya ako pabalik sa lifeguard na nakaabang na sa amin. Mukhang sa kaniya nanghiram si Coal ng jet ski.
"Salamat, pare." Coal handed him the key.
"Walang problema, Sir."
I gave the lifeguard a smile before I pointed to the spot where Coal and I came from. "There's a man out there that needs some help. Nasobrahan sa katangahan."
Napapakamot sa ulo na tumango ang lalaki na tinungo ang jet ski para balikan ang lalaki kanina na sigurado akong hindi pa rin nakakaalis sa kinaroroonan niya.
"Are you okay?"
Nag-angat ako ng mukha kay Coal. "Hmm?"
"That ass' board hit you, and you fell." His gaze dropped to my body as if he were searching for injury. He then reached for my shoulders and squeezed me gently as he watched my face for any sign of pain. "You scared me."
Coal is intimidating. He could be terrifying if he wanted to. He's a big man who looks like he can split the world into two if that's what he wishes. And yet he's here now, telling me that I scared him. That he was scared for me.
"I'm okay. I'll probably bruise, but it's fine."
Dumilim ang mukha niya. His head snapped in the direction of the jet ski's nearing sound. That Kook survived, but he wouldn't be for long if Coal decided to rip his head off.
"Ouch!"
The expression on Coal's face was replaced with worry. "What's wrong?"
"I think I need some help. Kailangan ko ata ng gamot."
Akmang dadaluhan niya ako at hindi na ako magtataka kung basta na lang niya akong kakargahin, pero bago pa niya magawa iyon ay umikot ako papunta sa likod niya at basta ko na lang siyang tinalunan. He grabbed me with one hand as if to support me, the other still holding my board.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulder, and I buried my face in his neck to hide my embarrassment about what I was about to say. Isisisi ko na lang kay Trace 'to. Sa kaniya ko narinig 'to no'ng kausap niya ang asawa niya eh. "I'm okay now. I got my yakapsule."
Coal stiffened for a moment. For just one single moment. Then the next his body was vibrating with laughter.
"Stop it," I snickered. "Narinig ko lang 'yan sa kapatid mo."
"I don't even want to ask." He slapped my behind with his free hand, and he started walking back to the hotel. "Later, I'll give you another medicine."
"Alam ko na 'yan. Kisspirin?"
"Hindi."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Eh ano?"
"Biogesex."
His laughter tore above the noise around us when I lean down and bit his neck. Was he hurt? Of course not. He's a hornball deviant after all.
IGINALAW-GALAW ko ang mga braso ko pati na ang leeg ko. I ignored the buzzing around me and the stares that I'm getting. Nananatiling nakatingin lang ako sa harapan ko habang tinitignan ang malawak na karagatan.
I am in perfect condition. I'm relaxed. Which is the complete opposite of the man who's stiffly standing beside me.
"So that's why she dropped off the planet. She got herself pregnant."
"Maybe that man is not even the father of the baby."
"Right? If he is, then why would she hide for years?"
"And look at him. He wasn't the man that she's usually seen with. She probably cheated, and when she became pregnant, he broke up with her."
Ang pagiging "marites" talaga ay walang pinipiling nationality. Mga tsismosa raw ang mga Pinoy eh itong mga 'to nga iba ang mga lahi. Ang dami na nilang nasabi samantalang kakakita lang nila sa amin. Saka mga bulag ba sila? Coal is Kaise's spitting image.
"Is this why you decided to take a break?"
Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Coal nang marinig ko ang mahina niyang tanong. "Partly because of my parents as well and the fact that I can't leave Kaise alone. But yes. Isa sa mga rason 'to." I can still hear the other female surfers talking, but I ignored them and gave Coal a small smile. "People will talk and I don't have time for their nonsense. Hindi ko rin naman alam kung anong sasabihin sa kanila kung sakali. They weren't that far off. I did get myself pregnant, and I dropped off the place of the planet."
The guilt that crossed his eyes was so evident. He hugged Kaise close, as if he needed the comfort of knowing that he's here now with her. With us.
I sighed loudly. I need to put a stop to this. I hate seeing him feel guilty about not searching for me. Kung sakaling hindi ako nabuntis ay baka hindi ko rin siya hinanap. Why does he need to feel guilty for something that is out of his control?
"If I walk away now from your life without saying goodbye and without giving you any explanation, will you try and find me?"
He gritted his teeth. "Yes."
"That's the difference, Coal. You know me now. You know that we have something. That we are building something. The time we first met, you didn't even know me enough. What you just know is that I left you. I chose to disappear. You gave me what you thought I wanted. What I needed." Marahang hinaplos ko ang likod ni Kaise na pumipikit na ang mga mata at nakasandal sa dibdib niya. "And with what you told me before, I can see that you didn't want to force yourself on anyone. You didn't want the rejection." Embarrassment spread on his face and I shook my head. "You are allowed to feel scared, Coal. Just like the rest of us, you too have been scarred. Stop blaming yourself. Don't get hang up on what already happened. It's no one's fault. Ang importante nandito ka na para kay Kaise."
"Para sa inyong dalawa."
Something warm touched my heart, and I nodded. "Para sa amin."
Binalik ko ang mga mata ko sa dagat. I caught a glimpse of the women watching us like hawks. "Don't worry about them. People will run their mouths, and you can't stop them since they like hearing themselves talk."
"Kapag ako nainis ipapaprint ko sa tarpaulin ang birth certificate ni Kaise."
Nanlalaki ang mga matang napatingin ako kay Domino. Nakangiting winagayway niya ang hawak niya na phone kung saan may naka-scan na dokumento. "Kuya Trace received the documents. Kaise's a Dawson now." He shrugged. "Though, she was always one."
Matagal na naming nakuha ni Coal ang resulta ng DNA test. Natabunan nga lang iyon sa dami ng mga nangyari noong nakaraan. None of us were surprised by the result because I know myself and I know I slept with one person, and Coal wasn't surprised because he never doubted me.
Ang sumunod na inasikaso namin ay ang pagpapalit ng apelido ni Kaise. We were expecting it to take a long time, but Trace told us that he would handle it for us. May mga kakilala kasi siya na makakatulong daw sa amin.
I put a hand on my mouth, and my eyes began to water. Naramdaman kong hinapit ako ni Coal dahilan para nakapaloob na kami parehas ni Kaise sa mga bisig niya.
I know it's not something to get emotional about. It's not like it's my name that has been replaced with Coal's surname. But I never wanted Kaise to have the Andino's name. I just didn't feel like I had a choice at that time. Knowing that she has his father's surname, one that is carried by a lot of amazing people that I have come to know over the past few weeks, fills me with so much joy.
"Gusto mong magpaprint ako ng kopya, idol Circe? Ipamimigay ko talaga sa mga international marites na mga 'yon."
Kumawala ako ay Coal at sandaling nagtama ang mga mata namin. I have seen large bodies of water, and yet his eyes are the only ones that could make me feel like I'm drowning. His gaze says so much more than words can.
"No need," I said, answering Domino's question. "I can just beat them and win the gold medal to call it even."
_______________________End of Chapter 24.