tw: fight/ bullying (light chapter in my opinion.
Does anyone else have that person who is just your person? And I am not talking romantically or anything, just a friend that is your friends no matter what others may rise and fall through the years you have that one person. That person will see you through heartbreak and love, they have seen you through your worst and best and don't treat you any differently for who you are no matter who that person is. They are just your person, and you are theirs.
My person is the ever so lovely Pandora Lestrange.
I didn't meet her until the school year that followed my brother running away. I don't think I wanted to have friends when my brother was in my life. I think my brother fucked me up pretty good when it came to relationships with other people. Not as much as my parents but still a lot. It's almost like I am either all in with people or all out. Never an in-between. Which for some people (like the people who turned out to be my friends) was a good thing. They needed people to be 100% in, And I needed the same, Though I have much doubt that I would admit it aloud.
I remember the day I met pandora it was no less then 5 days after I met Potter on the quidditch pitch the first time. Oh, if I had the words to describe how that interaction made me feel... it was like everything else diapered all my problems, all my insecurities; they all became inconsequential and faded in a way. I was in a daze, and it felt good really fucking good maybe the best that I had felt in a while. But still flustered oh, how panicked I could feel around him. It had always been that way even though we had never spoken before the train I never thought much of the feeling, and I was determined not to then.
I made a quick trip to the kitchens, making conversation with the house elves as I was there, almost forgetting to get food. I had double advanced potions as my first class, so I made my way to the dungeons. Professor Slughorn had always let me work alone. He often said that I didn't need the supervision of a partner.
But not that year.
The second I came into class Slughorn called out "Regulus my boy sit you will be working with the new girl, but I am sure you will help her get the ropes of the class." She had light blond almost white hair, she seemed to radiate curiosity and pureness, her eyes were insightful, and all her features were light and playful.
I sat down next to the rather odd girl in the back of the class the second I was in reach she took my hand shaking it saying "I'm pandora you must be regulus?"
"Uh yeah." I slid my hand out from hers and she gave me an odd look "Great Sluggy gave instructions when you were out, we are making Bubble-Bursting Brew. You know it?"
"Uh vaguely yeah." It wasn't vague but more like I knew the recipe by heart.
"Great I didn't want to start without you, but I did get all the ingredients. Want to start?"
What else he had to do i have no idea but not wanting to be an ass hole I just said "Sure."
I turned the fire on to medium heat and she added the sparking water as I stirred with a silver spoon In silence as the room filled with other students, she began striping the Gilly weed from its stem but for one moment she stopped look at me and, in all seriousness, said "I wonder what Gilly weed ice cream would taste like?" Then she went back to chopping the leaves but a moment later looked to me for an answer.
I remember thinking what the fuck is that question but then I also remember saying "vanilla with hints of salt water with a dash of fish."
She smiled contently at my answer "It would be like a lime green." I sprinkled pixie dust and powdered moonstone, and she took over suturing. "And the slogan would be Gilly weed ice cream a taste of the sea."
"Or maybe Gilly weed ice cream drown your sorrows." We looked to each other holding the others' eye before we both broke out laughing, mine being rather resigned and hers was carefree and radiated pure joy. I added the jubilberries and the pinch of powdered laughterroot. "What about Gilly weed sushi?" she asked, adding bubble berries making the grey potion turn into a shimmering rainbow. "Would the stuff inside be Gilly weed or would it be Gilly weed instead of seaweed?"
She licked a spoon full of the potion and laughed as she said, "the second one." bubbles erupted from the cauldron and when you popped it a sweet sent filled the air. (We made the potion right.) "i think it would just be really bad sushi." she laughed as she took another spoonfull "like would the filling be made of Grindylows and Leviathan?"
"Yes, with a Dittany reduction on top."
We both laughed once again, and she took another sip of the potion "you know you really shouldn't eat that." I said as the potion continued to bubble.
"Then why does it taste so good? Try some." She lifted a spoonful an inch away from my mouth.
I eyed her questingly as I took the spoon "What are the side effects?"
She laughed and said "Who cares?"
"Me, and you should probably care as well."
She lifted another spoon with rainbow liquid to her lips and said, "come on Reggie live a little."
"Well, I might not be alive if I drink a random potion."
"You made it you know what's in it."
I scoffed "So I don't know what the ingredients together will do?"
"None of those ingredients are poisonous we'll be fine try some."
I sighed as we made eye contact once more that seemed to break me "Fine." I took the spoon and slid the oddly sweet liguid into my mouth. She laughed her whimsical laugh and said, "Tastes good right?" it did it truly did "That doesn't make sense gilly weed famously tasted horrible it shouldn't taste- "
"Sweet?"
"Yes"
She took another spoonful and said, "Pixie dust?" I thought for a moment and determined "No, not enough to outweigh the gilly weed."
"Okay..." we both looked to the vast ingredients we both somehow understood the other was in deep thought and somehow the vast silence wasn't awkward or uncomfortable it was... peaceful. "Okay here me out when you simmer the moon water it doesn't smell sweet right?"
"Right." I agreed chewing on the tip of my quill.
"But when you start stirring it with the silver spoon it does smell sweet right?"
I thought for a moment "Right."
I swear I could see the gears turning in her head "So, what is that's where the sweet smell starts what if we use..." she trailed off and picked up a wooden spoon "... this instead of the silver. How will the wood make the potion react?" I took the spoon from her and trailed my finger acrost the side "It might work." she looked ecstatic "really?!"
"I mean it makes sense."
"Exactly!"
With out a word I strode over to the professor on the other side of the classroom "Hey professor?" I asked as Slughorn turned around. "Yes, my boy?"
"Can Lestrange and I make another potion it's an experiment of sorts."
He chuckled and said, "Most definitely just turn in a veil of your Bubble-Bursting Brew so I can give you credit."
I let out a sigh "No problem professor." I turned around back to Pandora who smiled extatically. "Were in the clear." I poured some of the rainbow potion into a veil and labeled it. She then poured out the caldron and we started the process again but instead using a wooden spoon. Pandora rambled about the physics behind brooms, and I listened contentedly accusingly adding in a bit of information or my own opinion. She aways liked having my input or so she claimed.
It did not feel like I had only known Pandora for a couple hours, it felt like we were each a half of one solid being. It was nice but whenever I started letting myself think about it a wave of anxiety crept over me and consumed me whole.
When the potion was done it exploded.
The explosion was sweet smelling, and the lime green gooey rescue was sticky and covered our workspace. Thankfully the class was so small (due to how hard I was to get into) that the tables were so spread apart we were the only pair affected.
When the potion went off, she couldn't stop laughing and it was somehow contagious so much so that I let out a chuckle even through Slughorn's scolding about how many dangers experimenting held. He didn't take house points and we didn't get detention.
After class both of us thrilled by the experiment (well her more than me but I found myself feeding on her energy) "want to get some lunch?" she asked, swiping some of the green goo from my hair. "We are in different houses Lestrange."
She shrugged like it was nothing "So, I'll just sit with you at Slytherin."
"People can do that?"
She rolled her eyes and scoffed as we turned a corner "What are they goanna do give me detention? Take points?"
"Yes, both of those things." She nudged me with her arm as she let out a sly laugh "worth it."
"Is it now?"
"Yeah, I like you and I think you like my compony so yeah worth it."
I mockingly clutched my chest and let a small smile creep out "So, you like the school psyco?"
She stopped the two of us in the middle of the hall and said very defiantly "For one that name is mean and unnecessary and two all the fun people are crazy, I mean look at me I clearly have a couple screws loose."
"You can say that again." she then hit me on the arm with her potions book (lovingly or at least I think so). The conversation felt lighthearted and witty, it felt nice.
We strode into the great hall her arm trough over my shoulders and act that if anyone else did would make me uncomfortable but with pandora it felt natural. Like that is how it was supposed to be like I was supposed to be comfortable with innocent touches like this.
We were talking about Cryptozoology. She was rambling rather excitedly about some magical beast she read about in the quibbler, and I told her she was ridiculous though I will admit some of the stuff she said was rather intriguing. "Well, it's not my fault you have no imagination."
"Lestrange! -"
She through a roll at my head as she scolded "Reg call me pandora come on I don't tell my Acromantula theories to just anyone."
I took another sandwich "Well, that's just because most people are not crazy enough to listen."
She smirked "Well, it looks like you are."
"We already went over that neither of us are the sanest of minds."
She lifter her goblet "cheers to that" as the ring of are goblets clinking together died down snape appeared at are table side saying "Well looks like the school psycho had got himself a girlfriend."
"Fuck off snape." I grimaced. "Well, that's not very nice black." he responded with a toothy grin.
"Why don't you just leave us alone snape." pandora snaped as she played with the food on her plate. "Aww Black get your girlfriend under control." and before I could say anything Pandora erupted "I am not his girlfriend, and it is pure sexist to think that just because 2 people of different genders are speaking that means they must be dating. Plus, you would never say that for 2 boys or 2 girls chatting now, would you?!"
Snape smirked as crouch, rosier, Avery, and Mulciber joined his side. Mulciber and Avery had been with Snape since day one or at least that was what Sirius said. Roiser and Crouch were a new addition, but they were known around the school their psychotic curse work and always being at each other's side. Snape pulled out his wand but not before Pandora and I got 2 curses in each. Teachers were roaring with displeasure and students were egging on the fight (even though it was just a couple curses not anywhere close to a fight).
Pandora nudged me with her arm, and I somehow knew that meant to curse the others. I got Avery with a rather mean jelly-Legs Jinx and Pandora got Mulciber with a Dancing Feet Spell causing Mulciber to start screaming and panicking as he danced acrost the hall. We turned to Crouch and Rosier who were both laughing hysterically. "Oh fuck, did you see his face?!" Crouch said to his last standing friend between laughs.
Pandora looked at me confused and I mirrored the same expression. Next thing I know a hand is clapping me on the shoulder and Doras Medows a Beeter on the quidditch team is saying "sorry about them they are complete ass holes but deep down they can be fun. Want to finish lunch with the 3 of us?" Panora smiled and said "Sure" dragging my hand and sliding into the seat next to me as the other 3 sat acrost from us making pleasant conversation with pandora.
How the fuck was I eating lunch with Dorcas Medows the ruthless beater who had almost killed someone last season, Barty Crouch jr the son of a very high-ranking ministry official, Evan roiser a pureblood heir just like I but far happier about the fact and making conversation! Or I wasn't making the conversation no, the random crazy girl I had been made potions partners with was doing the talking and from the look on her face enjoying it.
As if she could sense my discomfort with the pepole around me pandora squeezed my hand look me in the eye and asked "how is quidditch looking? The season starts in a week, right?"
Barty nodded taking a sip of Evans drink "yeah first match is Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw we go against the winner after that." he went back to his food and Dorcas trying to engage me in the conversation said, "yeah and with regulus seeker shit we should be golden."
I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach "I'm really not that good."
Evan scoffed and looked me in the eye waving his finger around as he said "Oh, don't try and be modest; how many games have you played where you didn't catch the snitch."
I could feel how flushed my face had grown "I umm haven't."
Dorcas then cut in as she fidgeted with a silver necklace around her throat "Exactly you'll do great I get to beat the shit out of some Gryffindor with a bulger and Barty can do whatever the fuck a chaser dose."
"Hey we are verry important." Barty exclaimed.
Dorcas just rolled her eyes "Sure."
That is when my eyes trailed to the Gryffindor table for reasons unknown to me at the time and landed on James Potter. Why was it always James Potter lately? My mind strode back to the morning with the crisp air of the quidditch pitch James Potter saying I would look good in purple and that weird thing my heart did after he said it. How he was suddenly just there on the pitch looking up at me watching me fly...
When I thought about it my stomach was doing some wired queasy thing but not in a bad way more like a this is a weird feeling that I'm not sure what it means kind of way. I really wanted to punch something.
The rest of the group was talking then I noticed they were talking to me, but the words didn't seem to get through somehow as if a veil was put up around me keeping all my thoughts in. "Sorry what?" I asked and the rest of the group just shot each other looks like they all knew me and each other a lifetime but it had only been less than a day less then ½ a day.
"We were asking about who you think has the better seeker Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw?" pandora said slowly but not in a mocking kind of way but more of a I care about you and your out of the loop way.
"Oh, umm defiantly... Ravenclaw."
Barty scoffed as he stood up "please he is just saying that because of Lestrange here." Evan followed with Dorcas on his tail. Pandora rolled her eyes hearing a playfulness in his voice that I could not yet detect "We are just friends and he fact that anyone assumes otherwise is-" Dorcas leaned over the table pressing her finger to pandora's lips shutting her up and Dorcas saying "Blah- blah- blah an in justice that we want to change and actively work heard to change but the message is not getting through the thick headed morons at this school and through the world."
Pandora looked taken a back and Evan and Barty both stood in place smirking at one another. "Well yes." pandora says when Dorcas removes her hand. "What do we think boys?" Dorcas asks Evan and Barty. "They could use some work, but I like them." Evan says hands in his pocket. "They could work." Barty agrees taking a bite of an apple.
"What are you all talking about?!" Pandora asks, looking shocked and a little offended.
"Regulus black-" Dorcas says looking between pandora and me, with Barty looking proud, and Evan cocky but happy "and pandora Lestrange... welcome to the group."
"What group?"
"Are group Barty, Evan, and I will protect you from all the pieces of shit at this school, be your friend take you to parties, make sure you live life, and you will go along with it and enjoy yourself alone the way."
"Why does this feel like were joining a gang?" I asked, a smirk escaping me. "Dose that me you accept are offer baby black?" Barty asks as he throws his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer "yes it doses junior."
We all look to pandora who nods saying "I draw the line at murder okay?"
"So that is a yes to weird sex stuff?" Evan asks mockingly. We all laugh each with a different tone to it. Bartys had a sort of manic tone, Evan's was more of a Guffaw if anything, Dorcas's was sly and controlled, and Pandoras was childlike and free.
It had only been a day, but it somehow felt right, as if this was the order that the world was supposed to have, like that was right. And that fact scared me.
Some fucked up part of me felt like I didn't deserve even the prospect of having these people in my life yet when asked to be a part of it I didn't hesitate. What does that say about me? And does it matter?
-0-
Later that day when I got back to my dorm, I found Barty and Evam perched on my bed each reading a book of mine. "What the actual fuck?!" I asked they both looked to another and then I as Barty said, "we were waiting for you."
I could feel my muscles stiffen as I got ready to get my wand or knife "Why?" I felt a bond with them, but I had only known them a day I had reasons to be so standoffish.
"Because..." Evan says in mocking cheerfulness, "we want to talk to you."
"Talk to me?"
He snaped his fingers and pointed at me "Yes."
Unable to keep the comment to myself I asked, "And what would you call what we are doing right now?"
They then looked back to each other passing some knowing message to each other as Barty said, "We just have some things to tell you." I scoffed "Then why are you both being so ominous?"
"Well," Evan starts "we talked to Cas and-"
I rolled my eyes and decided to keep poking to see if I could get either of them to brake "Oh. okay then she your ringleader or-"
"Our." Barty said with a cocky smile playing on his lips.
I was taken aback "What?" our means that I was a part of something I had not felt like I was a part of something or someone else's life sense my brother ran away. Our means I'm in. Our means they want me. Our means I have a chance. More than a chance I had a place.
"Your one of us black bean." Barty said scooting over on my bed beckoning me to sit next to the pair. It stood firmly in place "Fine, else what did you fuckers want to tell me?"
Evan rolled his eyes and flipped a page in my book "Okay now you can't tell anyone this okay."
"Only about 4 people know." Barty added.
"And that is?"
Evan sighed closing the book "Barty and I are a couple. And if you have a problem with that then you can go-"
"that's great" I cut in dryly "I'm happy for you."
Barty looked pleasantly surprised "Really?" he asked with an almost normal looking smile.
I sat next to the 2 and they both pulled me down forcing me to lay down with them "Yeah, why would I have a problem?"
"Were 2 blokes." Evan said, starting to play with the ring that resided in my left thumb. "Listen" I retorted "I'm not big on people judging others on who they want to fuck."
"That is fair." Barty cut in "Also Dorcas raging lesbian."
Evan let out a rather breathless laugh "Yeah, has a crush on some bird in Gryffindor but we can't get the name out of her."
"Is this you asking me to try and get the name out of her."
"Yeah, Also Cas is telling your girl right now about all this."
"She isn't my-"
"We know" Evan said as the pair sliding closer to me "you aren't dating we got the message but that doesn't mean that you to seem to fit together a yin and yang situation."
"Although' Barty cut in "if you wanted to, she would probably-"
"I'm warning you crouch if you finish that sentence bad things will happen." I threatened ready to begin banishing my wand skills.
"Sorry but am I wrong you got that whole short, dark, and handsome thing going for you."
"I'm not that short."
He gave a disdainful chuckle "Okay black sheep."
"Not a sheep, jester."
"Little shadow."
"Charmer-in-Chief"
"shadowling."
"Trickster Tactician"
"Little lion heart."
"OKAY." Evan cut in. "we get it you both know how to make up weird alliterations on the spot, we get it."
I noticed Evan and Bartys hand being joint above be (Evan was on my left side Barty in my right). I could feel my solders ease and Bart and Evans' laughter filled the room. I felt like I could bask in the moment. I felt like if I died right then right there, I would be okay with that. As if with each passing moment the part of me I hid under a mask reviled itself. I wanted to hide it again, but I couldn't do anything to stop it from reviling itself and nothing bad happened.
updating Wednesday i think
(im thinking monday, Wednesday, and fridays but i will keep you posted on that.)