To Let it All go Down in Flames - jegulus/starchaser

Whispers of War (james pov)

tw: for panic attacks and a ruff home life let me know if i missed anything

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Bellatrix Lestrange was talking regulus on the platform, he looked still, his eyes glazed over, he gave a quick nod before going up the stairs into the train. He looked the same but different, his hair was shorter than I knew he liked, his eyes were different, his freckles were out. I smiled as I gave a swift goodbye to my parents and ran in after him. I paced down the hall, looking from compartment to compartment searching for the raven-haired seeker with my heart beating in my ears, but Sirius clapped his hand on my shoulder making me spin around to look at him stopping me in my tracks.

It all had started that morning when we went to pick Lilly up from her house in Cokeworth, with all the recent death eater attacks we wore worried about having muggles come to the station, so my parents being my parent offered to give her a ride. And after some convincing and light arguing she said yes. Sirius and I along with my parents that morning packed up our car and made the trip.

When we arrived at the Evans house Sirius refused to look at snapes next door. Lilly waved goodbye to her parents and sister as she closed the door dragging her trunk behind her. I unbuckled my seat belt and opened the car door running after her. I swept her into a hug even though it had only been a week sense I saw her. "Hi James." she said pulling away.

I grinned "Hey Lilly bean."

"Shut it." She rolled her eyes and smiled as my dad got out of the car to shrink her trunk for her, they made quick greetings before they climbed into the car. Sirius gave her a said hug and kissed her cheek, for which she slapped him on the shoulder. Mom said hello she said hello back nothing special about the interaction. We made brisk small talk, mostly bout quidditch, which Lilly tried to pretend to be intrigued. I laughed at the fact making her roll her eyes. As the conversation died down killer queen came on the radio Sirius asked to turn up the radio which my father did. Lilly, Sirius, and I began singing the words at the top of our lungs.

My parents shook their heads smiling to themselves.

When we pulled into the station parking the car and going inside my mother and father hand in hand walking slowly, Sirius Lilly and I ran onto the secret platform jumping through the secret portal. We laughed as they jumped onto the crowded platform, the loud chatter blurring together. All the way from the new first years looking scared not wanting to leave their parents all the way to 7th years begging to get on the train crowded the space.

The three of us stood in an isolated corner skimming every person there, each looking for someone different. Sirius searched for his ex-boyfriend, former best friend who he stabbed in the back hoping to fix whatever was broken and lost. Lilly searched for the fair-haired girl she had broken up with her girlfriend for leaving her after one stolen kiss she was looking to start something new. I searched for a raven said seeker with a scared past and a beautiful chip on his shoulder. I was looking to keep what I had.

As we all looked searching for a different path Sirius's face lit up as the lupins came into the station, each looking more frantic and leerier than the last Remus's mom gave him a lengthy hug, when they pulled away Mr. Lupin went to shake his sons' hand but recoiled before he could, Remus noticed this and shifted before saying a few last words and getting on the train.

Sirius looked back to my parents giving my mother a hug whispering something in her ear that made her smile, my father pulled him into a hug as well saying something about 'the bike' before he pulled away as well. Sirius ran accost the plat form onto the train. "idiot" lilly murmured as I shook my head "are you just noticing?"

Then Lilly found her girl and smiled. Pandora crept past a few 3rd years saying goodbye to their parents, she was alone once again in all black, she didn't look like herself she looked sunken and dim, it was like they tried to cover cup a rainbow with a strip of grey paint. She wasn't looking anyone in the eye, she kept her head down slipping through the express doors. Lilly shouted a quick "thank you." as she ran off after her.