To Let it All go Down in Flames - jegulus/starchaser

Fading Laughter (Prongs pov)

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bullying (snape again im sorry) a homapobic slur (again snape in the beginning, panic attack (okay so i may or may not be projecting on reg so sorry for that)

also there has been a panic attack in a lot of chapters im sorry and there has also been a lot of bullying but this is just the time james is in in his life but that will change very soon.

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"What are you gonna do cry about it?" Sirius mocked at Snape. We had disarmed Snape he was on the ground blood dripping from his abnormally large nose, A crowed had formed all laughing at the scene, Moony lingered at the end of the hall with peter, peter was laughing but moony just staired at his shoes not saying a word. The 4 of us were supposed to meet the girls for breakfast but on our way Snape, Avery, and Mulciber were in the halls yelling at each other for some reason. Snape looked pissed off and that's when I started taunting him. That's when Avery and Mulciber ran off and that's when I threw the first curse. Snape had been hovering in the air which drew over most of the crowd.

When we let him down Padfoot cast some spell that broke Snapes nose. We all laughed.

The odd part is that whenever we did stuff like this since the beginning of the year, I just felt numb doing it. My laughter was forced, the words I said didn't feel right, I just felt numb. I wasnt  until we stopped and let the person go that I began to feel anything again, and most of the time all I could feel was shame. Whenever that shame fell over me, I ignored it pushing it into that back part of my mind I never dared to touch. Put on the smile, laugh at the insults, be the James Potter they all love.

"Aww is Snivellus sad?" I taunted as my gut 

"Fuck off both of you fags." he sneered from the floor whipping the blood from his nose.

I used a spell and threw snape against the wall. The crowd echoed with words if encouragement. But Minne came bursting through followed by Mulciber and Avery. She gave us detention and the pair hauled snape off the ground and took him to the hospital wing.

"You ready to meet the girls now?" Remus asked clearly trying to hide his annoyance. "Oh, James gonna hit on Evans today?" peter asked as we walked towards the great hall. I umm hadn't told them about Lilly and I just being friends. I had a perfectly good reason, okay? One, I didn't want to accidently out her if they inevitably asked questions, two it is a little out of character for me not to be madly in love with Lilly and I didn't want to worry them, three I didn't want to answer any questions about if there was anyone else because I didn't even know how I felt yet (I was starting to get a grasp on it).

"Yeah, Prongs is another love declaration in store soon?" Sirius asked with his arm thrown over my shoulders 

"yeah uh about that..." I scratched my head quite awkwardly. "I uhh am goona leave her alone for a while."

Sirius held his normal cheerful expression as if not affected by snape, so I did the same as Sirius said, "Probably a good idea I mean she was pissed after the last one."

"I'm proud of you Prongs." Remus chimed shooting me an almost knowing smile. Did he know about Lilly and Mary did he know about me? Was this just a face I was reading wrong.

"Thanks moons."

Just like that Mary, Lilly, and Marline came towards us from around the corner. They were all smiling, and I could see Sirius stiffen around Marline, but she just smiled and waved to the beater happily.

"Fancy seeing you here." I said to the trio hoping to break Sirius's unease. I knew that Marline and Sirius broke up but was it wrong that I didn't think that Sirius liked her that much. Marlines eyes seemed to drift from Sirius to Remus. I had no idea why.