I push him, I'm not dealing with this now.
-"You think I'll forgive you so easily. You broke my heart...And all you can say is sorry." I slap his soul away from him, so loud and firm that it felt. I start to stride upstairs when the front door unlocks and Green-Eyed bastard enters. Well at least I know this is his house, I'll take that as an accomplishment and try to feel somewhat safe, my anger is still there, on the edge of tears I rush up.
-"Hey Kids, I have great news." That's the last thing I hear him say before I sprint up the stairs, bearly holding my tears, wow he really is something. Did he really think that I would forgive him, Just like that? I slam myself inside one of the many rooms, one I had claimed as mine.
As soon as I enter I slide my back down the door and land on the floor hugging my knees I let my tears spill. How, how?
-"Nothing, nothing has gone my way!" I raise my voice. It's been nearly 2 weeks and nothing has gone my way I thought this would be better, that my life would be better. I can't help but feel despair.
I need to punch something I swear I want to bite my pillow until my teeth explode,
I want to scream until I'm hoarse and don't have any breath to continue living.
I struggle to steady my breath I'm practically talking to myself... I must distract myself and I remember I left that notebook downstairs. Oh shucks what now?
-"The thought of Jacob came back, what gives him the right to treat me that way, I have done nothing but help him, I gave him my heart and he just-"
Anger instantly overtakes me again.
I stand up run and jump on the pile of pillows on my bed and start raging at them punching throwing and screaming at them.
*Jacob POV*
As Stella runs up the stairs and Bart enters I feel the urge to run after her, I take a step towards her but step on something, I look down and see it's that notebook she had it's open on a page of some drawings.
-"Hey Kids, I have great news." Bartolomeo then informs me as I pick the notebook up.
I regret everything I said to her well... partly I did mean I wanted her to be safe and don't wander behind me when there is danger. I just my anger got the best of me, and maybe I didn't express myself appropriately. Shit...I fucked up...big time.
-"I'm bringing some friends over we are having a boys' night out, wanna join?!" He asks me as he carelessly tosses his coat onto the sofa.
-"Yeah, why not." I could use some distraction after all. I look down at the notebook, the page it's open to is...me.
Did Stella draw this? There are sketches of me sleeping, and one where she drew my back or what is left of it, I didn't want to see it but these portraits look exactly like me I can't help but believe my back looks exactly like that. Angles of me, a slumped me on a bench blood on my mouth in my nose, the shading is rough and purposely imperfect unlike the others, makes me think she was angry or frustrated sketching this.
As I flip through the pages I see things she probably didn't reference, things she probably remembers from my public punishment, the angles look from her perspective, they are drawn with detail, surprisingly, nice memory.
***
Later that evening Bart's friends arrive, it was an excruciating two hours of dread and regret, thinking about my mistakes.
I'm not that close with Bartolomeo but he has been nice a nice guy save he called Stella a whore...
Ugh I can't get her out of my mind, I constantly want to go and apologize to her, I already did why didn't she say she forgave me and we both are happy... I start to get irritated.
-"Meet Jacob...a friend's son." He hesitates as he introduces me to his 4 friends.
I introduce myself as well but I instantly forget everybody's names, I don't care.
Bartolomeo guides us to some basement, and to our left a canteen full of whisky and wine alcohol. To my right a massive pool table and a fireplace with a sofa and two armchairs surrounding it.
-"Let's have a drink to lighten the mood." One suggests as he sees me a bit uninterested to be here.
-"I'll take you up on that." I agree with the light-haired tall man. He hands me a bottle.
-"And the shot cups?" A fat one protests.
-"Ah they are upstairs, mind getting them, Jacob?" Bartolomeo asks me. I nod and stride upstairs to the kitchen. As I arrive I see her on top of a kitchen counter holding a big spoon and reaching for a bucket of ice cream.
An unconscious smile spreads on my lips, she looks like a child reaching for a cookie behind her mother's back.
She finally reaches it and she hops off when I look at her my smile completely fades and my stomach sinks.
Her makeup is all smeared her eyes all swollen and red, and black makeup tears stain her cheeks, she probably hasn't seen herself, the worst part of it all... this was my fault.
She looks at me and ignores me she just calmly walks past me her sweet sent after her as always.
-"H-Hey... I believe this is yo-"
I'm interrupted by two of Bartolomeo's friends.
-"Hey kid what's taking you so long?!"
The smell of alcohol instantly reaches me they have two bottles each, they are wasted and they practically just started, couldn't they have just waited? My irritation starts creeping in.
-"Hey and you brought a girl, that's nice, can I have her when you're done?" One starts laughing.
-"Yeah men it's been ages since I've done a young one." The other starts elbowing his friend.
-"Just don't leave her loose, she might not be of use by then." They both start to boom with laughter at their unpleasant jests.
I look over at Stella, she is standing on the first step of the stairs she looks hurt and angry, about to burst into tears again.
-"Hey! You don't get to speak to her like that!" I roar at them standing in front of her.
-"Ah kid, you wouldn't understand that's the only purpose a woman has." One tries to stop himself from laughing.
-"You guys are fucking sick." The rage and disgust don't mix well with me.
-"What kid you probably won't remember this by morning." What the hell are they saying, I give Stella a side eye and notice her silent tears as she heads for the second step.
-"I haven't tried a drop of alcohol tonight."
-"It's ok mate, if you don't want to shear the lass ju-"
I don't even let him finish when I snatch his neck, looking down at him, who does he think he is?
-"I won't let you disrespect her in my presence." I uppercut his jaw and a nice crunchy crack echoes, giving me a nice satisfaction.
His friend stands there shocked.
-"Hey! What the hell man." The other one tries to grapple me, but I duck down and sink my fist into his left rib. He stumbles back.
-"You know what the best feeling is... after punching someone that bruise you get that hurts you're knuckles days after." I smile at him.
-"W-well your no better I bet you just want her for the same reason." The guy I uppercut speaks as he starts to get up.
Audacity must be on sale this year...
-"What's different is although inside I do wish her body... I also wish her heart and love, something I don't have because of my actions something I don't deserve." My posture loses power.
I look at her she is in the fourth step but still not leaving.
-"Stella." I turn around, she gets startled probably thinking I didn't know she was there, suddenly one of those guys grapples my neck and pulls me backward making my back slam against the floor. Little shit, I sweep my leg and make him stumble.
-"You guys are shit. Apologize this instant!" I slam his loose head to the floor.
-"Now!" I lift it again and slam it with more force, and another satisfying crunch fills my ears.
-"I'm sorry you love some whor-" I clutch his head and twist it at a certain angle making his breathing stop and his pulse turns slow until it's no more. I feel happiness overflow me, I smile at the other terrified man in front of me.
-"You better get the fuck out of here before your next." I try to calm the urge to twist all his limbs.
I turn and see Stella was peaking, when she makes eye contact with me she runs away, she probably got scared, she should be used to this by now.
I snatch the notebook and run upstairs.
-"Stella, would you listen to me please." I stand outside the door.
There is no answer, I see her silhouette underneath the door, she is there but... ignoring me.
I quickly fetch a pen from downstairs and start scribbling.
If you won't talk to me, would you at least write to me?
There is enough space to slide the notebook underneath the door.
A few minutes pass and I feel nervous, and eventually, I lose hope she'll respond I proceed to sit down on the floor, a bit disappointed.
-"I won't leave until you answer me." I tried to say it lightly but can't I did hurt her, I thought it wasn't such a big deal...but of course, it is what the hell was I thinking... yeah that's the problem I wasn't thinking I was so angry at her.
*Stella's POV*
I'm sitting on the floor when my notebook slides and bumps my ankle, I get scared. I release my knees and pick it up...
If you won't talk to me... would you at least write to me.
I cover my mouth and chuckle softly, I don't want him to hear me.
I notice his handwriting, so sharp and smooth just like him.
I wonder if I should...
I contemplate for a few minutes, and a few more.
No
A simple no, underneath his comment, I slide the notebook back, hug my knees and hide my face, you know that feeling of anticipation and nervousness.
His scribbling is audible as he laughs softly.
He slides the notebook back a few seconds later.
Got scared?!
Of course I was, he just killed one dude...
I contemplate his reasons.
Little bit, why did you kill him?
-"Stella, did you hear what he was about to call you?" His tone loud and irritated making me jump.
-"But that was no reason Jacob... you're no better anyway..."
Silence fills the room. And it's interrupted by his ugly laugh.
Stella, I want you to know, I need you, and I wasn't conscious of the effect of my words. I do love you, I may not know how to, but I promise I'll learn if you give me the chance,
I'll listen to you and your needs.
I read the note 2, 3, and 4 times, and feel angry. Oh, he can write but why won't he say it to my face?
*Jacob's POV*
As soon as I send the note I regret it, what if she hates me more, what if she denies the second chance what will I do...I lean my back to the door in desperation.
My heart jumps as I find myself falling back. Stella opened the door and instantly my back slammed on her feet.
-"How do I know you're sincere? How do I trust you? I want you to look me in the eyes and repeat every single word you just wrote, and promise, no swear you will never and I mean never... disrespect me again." Her broken voice makes me sad. She holds the notebook tightly to her chest.
I scramble to a kneeling position, one knee on the floor I grab her shaking hand.
-"Stella, I'm truly sorry, I wasn't thinking when I said those words, I was just too angry, not at you but myself because it was I who let you unguarded. I need you, and I... I love you I'll learn how! I'm not good at this, and I have never been with any women before I have no experience with love... I promise and swear I'll respect and make you happy as long as I breathe."
Considering my mom and dad died the only type of love I've known is my sisters, apart from that I'm not familiar with the feeling, all my life I have killed and tortured to survive, I didn't know simple words could hurt someone so much.
I kiss her hand gently like the first time I met her. I stand up and open my arms inviting her to an embrace, she leans in crashing on me her arms round my back tightly and desperately. She snuggles her face on my chest making me flinch, her tears sliding down my chest.
-"That's all I wanted to hear, don't break your oath, please don't break my heart again." She hugs me tighter. And I can't help but feel relief, I finally got a second chance, I won't waste it! I bury my face in her neck finally hugging her back tightly, her warmth soothes me. It feels as if the storm has passed.