Anthony didn't come home last night. For the past several weeks things had been fine. We didn't have another bug out about needing space and remembering this whole marriage is fake. We never talked about our feelings either. But still, we'd been living harmoniously and having sex regularly. Him not coming home last night didn't feel right.
When I texted him to be sure he wasn't in any trouble he just told me he had a work thing. That's it. Do I even have the right to ask any more than that? Not really.
Work is work. I've never been a part of it before. Unless you wanna count me almost hitting Liam O Riley with a shovel when he had Anthony down at the construction site at gunpoint. Even then, Anthony had already well and handled it by the time I got there. He whipped him in the face twice with a stapler and knocked the dude out.
This morning I had my brother Andrei with me again. We never hashed out what we'd screamed at each other the other week, but we made amends in our own way. He's sorta been around lately. And I hate to admit that I sorta like that. I hate Vitaly and Dmitriy, but Andrei's different to me for whatever reason.
Maybe it's in knowing that he and I were close before I left Russia, or how he and Anthony got along in their own way, or maybe it's because he protected me against our father that's softened me to the idea of knowing my brother on an actual brother/sister level. Well, as close to that as Andrei Petrov can manage. He's still nuts.
My father and Dmitriy will be heading back to Russia, and I am absolutely giddy about it. I can't wait. Andrei however will be here for a while longer. Bouncing between here and Philly I think.
Andrei tells me he comes here because I have the only coffee he can stand to drink here in America. He says that's why he's here. So when I let him in this morning I asked him if he'd had any work to attend to last night. When he said no I didn't ask anything else of it.
Clearly Anthony wasn't with my brother. But that's not surprising either. They have plenty of Italian business my brother would have no part in.
For now, Andrei and I were sitting across the table from each other not necessarily talking, but just sorta hanging there, eating breakfast and what not. He'd asked about my 'hubby', but I told him he wasn't home. I didn't let on that I actually had no idea where he was. He didn't ask beyond that either.
"Have you gone clubbing anywhere good around here aside from De Luca's place?" He asked me through a bite of food. "I'm not 21" I rolled my eyes at him. He chuckled when he remembered who he was talking to. "I wanna know where the prime locations are. It's an awfully big city. No need to stay in one place" he said.
I shrugged, but a thought crossed my mind. I almost didn't bring it up, but I couldn't hold my tongue. "You should know anyhow. You spy on me" I deadpanned. Andrei stopped chewing. "I was just talking bullshit" he lied to me.
"Then how'd you know about me and Anthony?" I called him out. "It was obvious between you two. And we did have eyes here for a few weeks to be sure no traps were being set for us when we touched ground in the U.S. You know how paranoid dad is" he told me.
He's not wrong. Vitaly is cautious. Maybe that is the extent of it. I don't know. But it's the way Andrei belted it out in the heat of the moment that he's had spies, even before Vitaly did, that rubbed me the wrong way.
It's been on my mind for weeks. Not that I can prove anything. It's why I let it go and have hung out with my brother without any more screaming matches.
"What're you gonna do for your birthday anyways? Clubbing" he grinned. It'll be my 21st. "No" I shot that right down. "Why not?" He scoffed. "Because I don't like people, never mind birthday parties. No thanks" I declined.
I didn't also mention that I sorta hate my birthday now, seeing as it's the reason why my mother was on that highway, and hit by that car in the first place. For stupid decorations. I could've done without the streams. I can't do without my mom.
Since we moved a lot we didn't really have the kind of birthday parties kids have with their classmates. We celebrated between the two of us most years and it was always so much fun. I didn't feel I was missing out on anything by not going to silly roller rinks, or having half your classmates in your living room while they sing happy birthday in front of a cake with my face on it.
"You could fly Sasha and Mila out here, you know. I know you can afford it since you drained out your bank accounts and all" Andrei was sly calling me out. "How often do you talk to Mila?" I decided to ignore his comment and ask him a question. He shrugged. "Not as often. She's grown up now. We both got our own shit going on" he told me.
For a strange second I almost felt the budding of what I think might have been jealousy. Thinking of Mila having a good relationship with my brothers. Never missing any years. I could envy her life if I put the effort into it. But I don't give it the energy it takes to yearn.
"Where is your most favorite place you've lived?" Andrei randomly asked me. "Why?" I furrowed my brows. He just shrugged. Oh...he's trying to, like, actually talk to me. Know a thing or two about my life since the first 17 years are mostly a blank.
"I think Boston and California were my two favorites. One for the season changes and the other for the eternal sunshine" I told him. "Have you only ever lived at Dad's?" I asked him. He shrugged, but with a smirk.
"I'm the prince of the castle. We don't venture too far outside of it. I've traveled plenty though."
"Where?" I kept this game going. "I don't know. Places" was his dumb answer. "Got anymore coffee?" He peered into his empty cup. At the same moment I heard the front door opening. A few seconds later Anthony was standing in the kitchen.
For whatever reason he looked shocked to see Andrei here. I'm not sure why because he's been here a time or two when my brother just shows up.
Anthony shifted his eyes straight to me and I could tell he was off kilter. I just didn't know why. My gut soured at the idea of what it might be. Did he hook up with someone else last night and feels guilty now? Did something happen?
"Morning" was all I said to him.
"Uh, hey, morning" he threw a hand up in a half wave and excused himself from the room. "Did he not sleep here last night?" My brother looked suspicious. I had clearly just greeted him like this was the first time I'd seen him today. Which it was.
"Mind your business" I waved him off. He doesn't really give a shit anyways, so he just stood up and stole the last of the coffee.
I expected Anthony to come out of the bedroom at some point to join us but he didn't. I couldn't take the wondering any longer and told my brother I'd be right back. When I knocked I didn't hear him say anything. I knocked again and finally I heard Anthony's deep voice say, "Yeah, you can come in."
"Hey, what's up?" I popped my head in the door. Anthony was showered and re-clothed even though he'd just been in normal clothes. I didn't question it. "Nothing" he shrugged like he didn't catch my meaning. I stepped inside and shut the door behind me. "You're acting weird" I called it out. His brows furrowed and he shook his head no. He couldn't even meet my eye line though.
I know what this is. Anthony was with a woman last night, and now he can't even face me. My gut soured all over again. I had no right to be angry, so I just mashed it all down and said, "Okay" when Anthony said he wasn't acting strange.
I went back to the kitchen. I didn't much feel like being around my husband at this moment. "I'm gonna head out" Andrei thumbed to the door as soon as I got back there. Shit. Now it's just gonna be me and Anthony. No distraction.
I swallowed and nodded okay. Andrei gave me a salute and ducked out.
I tried to busy myself once he was gone. I was feeling really anxious and wasn't sure where to put all of it. I found myself washing down the damn marble countertops like cleaning is something I even like to do.
Anthony still hadn't left the bedroom so I started on the dishes. The washer was clean, so they needed putting away. I hate those tedious tasks. I'm a person who'd just go into the washer when I needed the clean plate or whatever. But not right now.
When the kitchen was spotless I almost tackled the vacuuming, until I snapped myself out of it and just went to the built-in bookcase on the wall in the living room. I'm in the middle of reading a different book, but it's currently on my nightstand, and I refuse to go into the bedroom. So I picked another.
Two hours later, and Anthony was finally out of the room. I heard him moving around in the kitchen now. I'll let him come find me. If he even wants to.
When he didn't come to me after ten minutes of him in the kitchen I called Sasha, put in my headphones, and told her everything about this weird situation all in Russian so he couldn't understand me. "Yeah, he fucked someone else" she deadpanned. I rubbed over my brow and just stared at myself in the tiny box on screen. On the side of where my best friend's close up face was.
"Are you guys, like, dating or anything? Did you make any rules or whatever?" She asked me next. I shook my head no. Am I dating my husband? No. No I am not. "Shit tits" was her only response.
"Whatever I just needed to vent. I don't like being this person. I'm being gross. Tell me something. Anything" I waved to turn the tables on her for a while. I'm not This type of woman. Nor do I care to be, ever.
"Work is bullshit. I wanna quit already. I'm having a dry spell of the bedroom variety, so no I got nothing to tell you. God, I needa move back to America," she complained. Made me feel better about myself. "You literally just quit your other job" I reminded her.
"Well, hurry up and get rich then bitch. I'm waiting on you to be my sugar mama" she deadpanned. She never fails to make me laugh.
"You get rich then. I'll be Your sugar baby" I countered. "Excuse me? You got the leg up on this. Your father and husband are both already rich. And soon you'll be a supermodel and you'll be making some bank of your own. Saves me from having to suck any saggy balls to get me an allowance."
I tipped my head back and laughed. "Gross" I cringed at the thought.
That could've been me. Married to an old saggy pervert who would try to force himself on me. Instead I live with a hot Italian badass who's incredible in bed. I probably shouldn't complain as much as I do. It's not a very terrible situation. Unless you wanna count him fucking other women, then coming home to sleep in our shared marriage bed.
Yeah that part's kinda shit.