You guys I am in utter shock and I am shaking and asdfghjkl.
Thank god I took notes because otherwise this review would never happen efficiently.
So from the beginning.
So Isaac the total idiot that knows nothing about selling tvs is a salesman and it is Christmas in like the 50's or 60's in our world.
His boss is a total jerk face and tells him he is a sucky writer and so he gets all mad and then the apprentice makes him the author.
So Rumple is over here obviously feeling really terrible and hopeful and I started to cry a little and cut to Charming family meeting and they are running around trying to save the day....which the fail....
AND I WAS LIKE PLOT TWIST MAYBE THE VILLAINS WILL WIN!
But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
So Henry wakes up after being knocked out, and somehow Storybrooke is still there.
Now I think this was just for the sake of the plot, but last time everyone left Storybrooke because the curse never happened Storybrooke left the planet, now it is still standing strong and vacant....yeah.
So Henry is running around looking for people and when no one is there, he steals Regina's car (looks like those driving lessons from last season paid off)and LEAVES STORYBROOKE to go and try and find everyone.
LOGIC HENRY I MEAN REALLY!!!
There is a curse on the town line, if you leave and you are wrong YOU CAN NOT GET BACK IN.
Regardless he is right and he goes to a diner, which I am guessing is the same diner that Robin was sent to by Regina after Heroes and Villains.
He asks the lady working at the desk if she has seen any of these people *insert pictures of all the charmings plus extended family*
She thinks he is crazy and calls child services so while Henry sees Isaac's book and ditches the joint to hunt him down.
He finds him while he is giving an inspirational speech about following your dreams and ignoring people that try and knock you down.
I just sat there like "Adam and Eddy you bastards wrote this character to represent you!"
So that girl is fangirling over Regina and I am sitting there like, you do realize that you are talking to the the biggest evil regal out there? I mean Isaac wrote FANFICTION FOR HER!
Moving on, Henry pulls him aside and Isaac is telling him how he won't be a knight in shining armor, and that Emma wasn't in the book.
Um one,HENRY WOULDN'T EXIST IF EMMA DIDNT, and two, that knight thing becomes a joke later on...
So they go into the book...
Yeah...
So rumple saves the day...
And Henry runs off to find Regina...
So I will say that Bandit Regina looked like Katniss Everdeen in that braid and bow...
Then we get MAJOR season one throwbacks because Regina calls Henry crazy so now we have a two character layer for Regina; she is Snow and Emma.
Cut to Isaac who gets caught in a trap set by...wait for it...the seven dwarves.
Yeah...didn't see that one coming...
So the seven dwarves translate to the dark knights...I can fly with that.
Cut to Snow with Isaac about to kill him and she makes Charming the Huntsman come in to do it for her or something, and Isaac talks her out of it and gets her to go after Regina.
Cut to Regina doing what Emma did in season one telling pushing Henry away, and then she goes to rob Snow Black's carriage.
Don't judge, she isn't Snow White anymore if she is dark...
Regardless, Charming is Graham, Snow is Regina, I can deal with one layer character personas.
AND JUST AS SNOW IS READYING HER FIREBALL TO THROW AT SNOW ROBIN HOOD SWOOPS IN AND SAVES THE DAY!!
Okay I am really having issues with figuring him out, but I think Robin Hood stayed as Robin Hood.
So Regina hops on his horse and is talking about how she didn't need help and was doing fine and doesn't even ask who the dude is that she is catching a ride from.
Then they are in the tavern and as the walk in Regina flawlessly peels off her glove using her teeth and calls for two shots, then finds out that Robin is Robin.
"I thought you'd be dirtier." yeah, that translates to, "he smells like forest." which translates to, "my gods you are all kinds of amazing."
So then Zelena is brought up and I am screaming because Robin is rambling on about love at first sight or something and i am like YOU IDIOT REGINA IS YOUR LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT NOT FREAKING ZELENA.
Then Regina leaves and Henry is standing there and Regina is all upset and then she talks about how her mom abandoned her as a kid and how she didn't have a sister.
So now Regina equals Snow, Emma, AND Zelena.
And Henry starts talking about crashing a wedding and I am thinking about all of the fan art that will be made over the next 5 months where Henry will be crashing weddings...
And then Regina is talking about rumors of a woman who called herself the savior.
And hour one ends with RAPUNZEL VIBES COMING MY WAY!
So at this point Emma is Rapunzel.
So hour two starts with RUMBELLE!!
I admit I thought this wasn't gonna be good, but I liked it and THEY HAD A KID AND OMG MOMMA BELLE AND I DIED!!
So Isaac is there and makes up an excuse to get belle out the way, and for a second I thought maybe Rumple knew, but he didn't and I can easily say that I am fine with that.
But he was so confused and they start talking about Bae and I am tearing up and then Isaac is basically telling Rumple to be a hero you have to be a villain.
And Belle is Belle and Rumple I think was Charming but he had his magic still, except it was light magic so maybe he was like blue or something as well.
And just by the way, WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE RUMBELLE CHILD?!?!?
So we cut to Henry finding Hook, who I was expecting to have his hand, but somehow he lost it anyway, and he is not a captain, he is a coward.
Hook is rumple minus the magic.
So..wait for it...HENRY THE KNIGHT saves the day and knocks out Blackbeard the bastard, and Hook and Henry sail to go find Emma.
They find Emma and quickly get to her, and get this Emma remembers.
YEP JUST LIKE JEFFERSON DID IN STORYBROOKE!!
So Emma is Rapunzel, herself, AND Jefferson.
And because Snow is Emma's mom and snow locked her up in a tower that makes snow Mother Gothel and Regina.
As they are pulling away from shore Emma is rushing them because Lily is the guard at the tower and she turns into a dragon and comes after them.
So now Emma is Emma, Jefferson, Rapunzel, AND Fiona from Shrek.
I suppose you can say that hook was still Flynn Rider because he got Emma out of the tower, but I mean, meh.
And Lily is still just plain ole Lily.
And did I mention Hook was allergic to RUM?! That is the big punishment for the Milah situation, you are allergic to your favorite drink and have to have goats milk instead...yeah...how funny.
The we have MAJOR CAPTAIN SWAN FEELS!!!
Emma is teaching Killain how to sword fight and EEKKK!!
Then Lily...
Then Snow...
Then...Charming..
AND I AM CRYING BECAUSE HOOK WAS DOWN AND I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER AND EMMA WAS IN TEARS ANT I WAS IN TEARS AND I WAS JUST DEAD. JUST DEAD.
And immediately we go to Rumbelle, I AM STILL TRYING TO RECOVER FROM A CHARACTER DEATH, AND YOU SHOW ME A AU CHIPPED CUP AND THIS TIME RUMPLE DROPPED IT AND I AM SOBBING EVEN MORE AND HE IS UPSET BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE A HERO AND CANT KILL!!!
Still crying over here and Regina is packing and Henry runs in and has Emma and they convince her to go crash robin's wedding.
Then Rumple crashes their attempt at crashing Robins wedding and so Emma sword fights with Rumple and may I say that scene will probably be the only think keeping me alive the next five months...
Then Rumple cheats and uses magic, and HENRY THE KNIGHT picks up a sword and is fighting with rumple....
Then Henry gets disarmed and rumple goes to behead him or something, but Regina jumps in the way and saves henry.
So now Regina is Snow, Emma, Zelena, AND Henry, throwback to season one and the apple tart.
Then really sick effects coming from Rumple when he apparates Harry Potter style back home.
And I am in tears again, Regina is in the ground and Robin is married and he is crying over Regina, and then Zelena is screaming about how this was supposed to be her day, and she starts to turn green, so Zelena is Maid Marian AND herself.
I CALLED IT!!
HENRY IS THE NEW AUTHOR I CALLED IT I CALLED IT I KNEW IT!!!!
And I am just like well that's the end bc commercial, I am not looking at the time yet, I am not thinking about the Emma footage that leaked, and I look at the time, 30 min left, and my heart dropped.
I WAS CONTENT!
It is like when there is twenty pages of a book left but everything is alright and you are just afraid to continue...
THAT WAS ME!
So I calm down, and it comes back on and I am alright now because Regina was okay,and then Emma runs to go see killian, AND I SWEAR IF I EVER MEET A&E I WILL SLAP THEM FOR DOING WHAT THEY DID, I WAS THINKING HOOK WAS DEAD!!!
But he is fine and we cut to rumple still dying and Isaac running away.
So Belle comes Running in, because they all recall what happened I the Heroes and Villains book, and Belle comes in and is blaming hard to get...
Then he falls and is clutching his heart and she breaks down and I am screaming RUMBELLE and she starts talking about how much she loves himself and that she doesn't love Will and I am crying and she is saying how they could've had what they had in the AU and she wanted to know why he didn't let it happen.
AND RUMPLE WAS JUST LIKD I DIDNT THINK YOU COULD LOVE ME.
And I am crying so hard and belle is talking about how she knew what she was getting into and how she wouldn't have held back...
And you know for a second I smiled and let out a small laugh because I can't be the only one who took that as I would have made tacos with you....
MOVING ON!
So rumple is all I am gonna die and it isn't gonna be safe, and I am crying again because I CANT LOSE MY RUMPLE!!!!
And then Belle tells the people at the diner right after Regina and Robin went on and OQ bliss walk.
They save rumple, I am okay, the crying stops...
Then the dark one black only coal darkness essence thingy is released and two things happen.
One we are basically told out right by the apprentice that the sorcerer is Merlin basically meaning we are gonna go to Camelot, probably get more Lancelot and how snow knew him, and why Rumple went there in heroes and villains, and one other thing...
Emma became the dark one...
Yep.
I CALLED IT!
So here is my theory.
Next season we will be exploring three different things.
1. Henry as the new author and the responsibility that that role comes with
2. Going to Camelot and meeting people form there ex: king author, Knights of the round table, the sword in the stone
3. Emma being the dark one. Chances are that she will be okay at first. Once Rumple wakes up he will probably become a sort of mentor on how to control the dark one so that Emma can more or less be herself. Plus Killain, Snow, and charming will all definitely play a role in the direction that she goes in the future.
Anyway, that was a long episode review, and I will definitely have more theories as the time goes by and I rewatch things more and more.
Any theories you have I would love to hear, so send them in if you have any and let me know what you thought about the finale!
~sydsorbet