It was the last lecture of the day and Jungkook was packing his stuff. Throughout the hours he was starting to feel a little better, he thanked the painkillers for that. But, he is still very hurt and sore. He was minding his business, ready to head to his dorm and walk out of the class when he heard someone mentioning his name outside. Curious, he stays back and eavesdrops to know what is being said.
"Wait, Jeon Jungkook was partnered with Bangtan? Really? Wow. What went through professor Jangs head when she decided to come up with the idea that Jungkook and the group would make a great team, let alone get along." A classmate of his was talking outside to her friend.
"I know. I mean no one in general would get along with Jungkook. No one does even now. Having him as a group member would be tough. So glad I wasn't chosen. However, no one dislikes him more than Bangtan, that is for sure. Yeah, I don't see how it would fit. " Her friend commented back.
"Jungkook will probably slow them down too. No one knows his grades in his courses, but it said they aren't the best and that he is only here through either a scholarship or through his dad, whoever that is. If I was them and Jungkook does nothing, I'd scratch him off or tell professor Jang. But oh well. I'm sure the boys will figure something out. Anyways, let us go. One more lecture." The first girl commented and Jungkook hears them leave. He walks out and frowns.
He shakes his head at the disbelief of how many rumors people can make about him. It is amazing to him how no matter where he goes, people will always judge him. He is used to it of course, but that doesn't mean it doesn't sting or get annoying. "While in high school I was judged for being way too smart or top scholar, here I am judged for not being a top scholar, when I am one. Who says I won't do anything? However, I do want to know what went through professor Jangs head when she was pairing us up. Everyone knows how much we dislike each other." He talks with himself. He stands there trying to think and decides to go
talk to his professor. Though the girls judged him and hurt him a little with their words, he does want to know what caused everything and he will. Or so he hopes.
Once he gets there, he gently knocks on her door. She seemed to have been grading some work or planning her lessons. She looks up to the sound and sees Jungkook standing in the door frame. "Jungkook-ssi! You are back. Something wrong? Are you in pain again or need pills?" She asks and he shakes his head.
"I am...somewhat better I guess. Everything still hurts and feels uncomfortable, but I am in less pain than what I felt beforehand. I am actually here to ask you a question that I wasn't able to do this morning." He shyly speaks.
"Of course! Come on in! Sit down, you will get more tired as you stand. Let me help you." She says, walking over as he closes the door. She helps him gently take off his bag and then helps him sit down. He thanks her as he feels a little ashamed and bad that he is allowing her to help him.
"There you go. Now what was your question or questions?" She asks as she leans a little on her desk.
"Right, well, they were actually about the project you assigned. You know I am not one to complain about you or the work. But I can't help but feel a little bothered that I was grouped with them. I am also just very curious. Why did you group me with the people who hate me the most? I mean I dislike them, yes but, they hate me. I don't think we will be able to get along enough to work well together. It will just turn out to be a bad project. Just yesterday, Taehyung and I had a fight. Part of the reason as to why my jaw looks so messed up." He looks up as he asks. He removes his mask, feeling a little uncomfortable wearing it.
She nodded, expecting that it was the reason he was here. She sighed and went back to go sit in her chair. She looks at Jungkooks face and can't help but still feel pain over how bad it looks with all those bruises and redness.
"I know that you guys don't get along, that's actually why I chose to group you guys together. You may think I'm crazy, I know. However, I feel you guys can create something really good if you guys work through your differences with each other. I know they can't stand you, but sometimes it's rivals who work best together. Trust me, they do. I should
know. It will be difficult, but I have faith that you guys will be able to find a way into making this work. They are very talented, just like you. Each of them have so much passion for music performance, and I guess all I can say is to try. I also want you to change your behavior, Jungkook." At his frown she gave him a knowing look." What? You think I don't know you have no friends?" She asks. Jungkook looks petulantly at his feet. She sighed and stood up, walking around the desk and leaned against it looking at him fondly. "I know you are a very good person. Jungkook. I've only known you for a year, but despite what people say or what has happened in your life, you are a very kind soul. I'm very honored to be your professor and to have you as a student. I know, most students, especially in college, aren't close or friendly to their professors, but I don't want that with my students. Especially you. You know? You remind me of my son. Your big eyes and passion for things. Mine was like that at only three years old. Now, I am not asking you to talk to me or come to me for help just because you remind me of my son, but, I know you're a good person, so it makes me sad to see you all alone all the time. It makes me sad that people judge you and don't see how talented you are. I want you to show the real you. The person you show me. Okay?"
Jungkook blushes a little at the compliments. Yes, he has teachers and professors give him compliments but it has always been on his grades or work. Never on his actual way of being. It has been so long since someone has complimented him that way. Maybe, just maybe he can come to her here and then, he thinks.
"Oh, uhm thank you. But what if we truly can't come to work together? How are you so sure we won't keep arguing and at least get along?"
"That won't happen. You guys are mature enough in what you love to be fighting. Also, this will help you guys separate personal from professional emotions. Not many people will love or like you in any work field and you may not like other people too, but you still have to try putting personal feelings aside. Also, you guys think you both hate each other so much but not really in my view. You know, when I was in high school, I got paired with the boy I most hated. We truly hated each other and would prank or call each other nasty names. I didn't know how we would be able to work together, we were so different. However, we ended up making it work and we became friends surprisingly. We also found that we shared at least a few common interests. One of the big ones being music. We became each other's pillar and were for a long time. Long story short, we ended up getting married and having kids. At a young age for sure, but from then I saw that everyone can possibly work together. I have faith you guys will. If not, if you guys can't absolutely get alone, then I'll rethink my decision.
okay? But just try. Don't give up yet." She shares and Jungkook nods, knowing she has a point.
"I'll try." He says and earns a smile from the older woman. "Any more questions Jungkook-ssi?" She asks.
"I'm-" he stops when a loud grumble fills the room. Jungkook's eyes widened in embarrassment and looked down. He was hungry. How could he not, it was almost 3pm and he still hadn't eaten anything since the day before. He knew he should have eaten but the pain he was feeling distracted him from even having a drink.
"I'm sorry about that. Anyways, I am fine, that is all I wanted to ask or talk to you about." He says trying to get up fast and leave the room so that he doesn't bother her anymore or embarrass himself more than he already has. Professor Jang stops him. "Hey, don't get up fast, you will get more sore. It is okay. "Have you eaten lunch?"
"I- no. I honestly haven't even had breakfast yet. I've been in some pain and worried about my lectures that I forgot."
" I see. I was actually going to go eat some samgyeopsal since I am done with all my lectures today. This place also serves some amazing jajangmyeon. Would you like to join me? You need some food in you and maybe this will help you feel more comfortable with me? Of course you don't have to accept. Also, don't see this as pushing you to talk or open up to me. I just thought you may want some food and a way to get to know you a little. I know some information about my other students, but not much from you."She defends herself, not trying to pressure or make the younger boy uncomfortable.
"We won't get in trouble? Or anything like that? I won't inconvenience you in other words?"
"No, don't worry. Many students have had lunch with professors before actually. As long as nothing inappropriate is done, neither you nor I will get in trouble."
He tilted his head in thought and hummed. After a second he smiles shyly at her and nods. He trusts her. Plus, it's been a while since he has eaten something good. She smiled and grabbed her things, leading him out.
She ends up taking him to the place she mentioned. The restaurant had just opened from renovations. "Ah Ms. Jang! Haven't seen you in a while!" One of the waiters says as he sees her walk through the door with Jungkook who just bows. "Yeah, ever since you guys renovated. The place looks amazing!" She greets back with a smile.
"Thanks, my mom is glad with how things turned out too. Oh, is that your son? Or little brother?" He asks, acknowledging the presence of the boy who didn't have his sunglasses but had the cap and bangs covering most of his eyes.
"Oh no. He is one of my students. I invited him here, to get you new customers and for him to see how delicious the food here is."
"I see. My apologies, anyways follow me this way, I'll take you to your table." He grabs some menus and leads the way. The two sit down as they get their menus placed on the table. The waiter asks if they would like any drinks, both have some soda and water. He leaves, letting them decide what they want.
"Since I am inviting you or invited you here, you can eat whatever you desire."
"What? I'm sorry professor, but I'd feel bad having you pay for me."
"No, it is fine. I am well off and it is my treat. Please." She says and Jungkook groans. He lets her because it would be rude to argue with someone who's older than him.
"I am not bringing more attention to myself right now right?" He asks in fear. He worried people would judge him and his bruises.
"No, the bangs and cap cover most of your upper face. Just put the mask down to your jaw when you start eating." She warns, looking at the boy who nods. The waiter comes back with drinks and leaves once they order.
"Anyways Jungkook, tell me about yourself? Anything you are comfortable sharing that is. I promise to tell you a little bit about me in return." He nods and smiles slightly at her in thanks.
"Well, I am 21 years old. I guess I am very much stable in my life? My dad is the CEO of a rising company. It pays well and we've been able to live a good life, at least financially. I was born in Busan. Moved to Seoul when I was about six years old, but I visit Busan here and then. I have a sister that is three years older than I am. I am not really close to both of them. I was when I was younger, but as I grew up...we had different views. We have a rock relationship in other words. You see, my dad has always loved business, he enjoys it very much. He always hoped that at some point either my sister or I or even both would take over the company. However, I've never really liked business and haven't been interested in company affairs. I've always prefered anything that involves art and music." He looks down at his water and fiddles with the straw, disliking what he's about to say next. He doesn't even know if he should say what he is about to say. However, he feels he can trust her, for some reason.
"My sister does though. She loves business just as much, if not, more than my dad. Because of that, they have always been very close with each other. My dad has great faith in her taking over the company. He's very proud of her, you know?I've never seen or heard him say to her that he isn't proud. However, it is the opposite with me. I guess I am his disappointment. He doesn't really like that I am majoring in arts/music. He mainly points out my faults. He loves me deep down, I guess for him to say those things to me. I guess he just wants the best for me." Jungkook frowns as he says this. He honestly didn't even think it was true. He huffed and continued. He can't believe that after everything– after what was said, he is talking well of him.
My sister just simply doesn't care for me much. Nothing really left to say on that. When I was younger, it would get to me a lot more than it does now. Even more with the harsh comments I would get in school. When I was much younger, my body didn't look like it does now. I would get bullied severely. I was very small and lanky. I was also very shy and awkward. The perfect target, especially because I couldn't fight back. At some point I got tired of it and decided that the only way people wouldn't hurt me anymore, physically or emotionally, is by becoming this bad guy. And I know it's wrong. I know, but it's what keeps me safe." He looked up nervously, afraid of what she would think. He was shocked to find her pouting, and looking at him like a kicked puppy.
He honestly didn't even know why he was sharing more than he does with people like her. He doesn't know why he is sharing this without feeling totally uncomfortable. He guesses it
is her age and the fact he can't judge him like others his age or near it would. Perhaps it is also the fact that she understands them more than other professors too.
"Hey, you are not a disappointment. And if your father thinks you are one then he doesn't know what he is talking about. He is blinded by what you are. He is not being a good father by doing what he does. Don't let him make you feel bad. As to your sister, well I don't know but she is wrong too. How about your mom? Do you at least get along with her?" She asks, hoping the answer to be better.
He looked at her and frowned. "My mom? There is nothing to really say about her except for the fact that she abandoned or left us years ago. I don't know why she did, and my father never said so either. I don't know where she is, how she's doing, or if she has another family by now.
"Oh, I am sorry Jungkook-ssi. I was hoping the response from that would be better. I see now it is not."
"It is fine. In a way, it is better since She hasn't done anything else but leave. I am used to the fact that I don't have any mom or will have one. I would have liked one though. I always think that maybe my relationship with dad would be better. I did have a motherly figure in some way, at least. That was my grandma. She loved and cared so much for me. She had always said she was proud of her little Kook. She's the only person who really taught me what love was. Sadly, she passed away a while back and ever since then, it has been very rough for me. I don't like to act mean, but it's the only way to protect myself from the pain. A way to hide my weaknesses. " He blew out a nervous breath at how much he said. He couldn't believe he told her so much, but it just came out. He was surprisingly okay with it.
"Anyways, my life sounds very negative, how about yours? Who is Professor Jang?" He asks, not wanting or fearing her answer to his brief life story.
"Well, I am 42 years old. I am also from Busan! Born and raised there before I came to Seoul at 23 years old. I love music, I always have since I was a child. I have one sister. As I told you earlier, I got married at a pretty young age and had kids very young too. I was 18 when I had my first child." Jungkook widens his eyes at that, though he can't judge when his own father had Eunjae at 18 too.
"I know. Very young for a person to have kids. We had protection if I am TMI, but it is not always fully safe. Hope that didn't make you feel uncomfortable. I then had my second child at 21. I had them very young, but I loved them so much. I still do to this day. I love them with all my heart, even if they don't believe so. They were my world along with my husband, well should I say ex husband."
"Oh, so you guys divorced?"
"Yeah. My fault honestly. Everything is my fault. I made a mistake, a very bad one. Thanks to that mistake, I haven't been able to see my children. Nor him. I made the same mistake your mom made. I left them. I didn't want to, but back then, I thought it was the best option there was with how insecure and scared I was. I regret leaving them when they needed me the most, when my partner needed me the most. Just like your mother I guess, huh? Next thing you know, your mother and I are friends or something, who happened to do the same thing!" She widened her eyes comically with the comment, causing Jungkook to laugh.
"I thought they didn't need me and that I wouldn't be a good mother. I couldn't bear to know that they'd hate me in the future. So I left. I was young and wasn't too smart. I think that my worst fear became real. Leaving them was so wrong. How I wish to have them in my arms. My two little ones, my sweet care bear daughter and my king, my little Jungsuk, and my charming prince." She laughs, sadly. Jungkook could see the love she still holds for her past lover in her eyes.
"I am sorry too. Leaving must be a tough decision. Have you ever tried finding them again?"
"I have. And I failed. I've tried finding him and my children, but when I think I have come close to finding them, in the end I am actually farther away. I guess this is what I get. I hope to someday though, even if they don't accept me back in their life. Guess my life hasn't been the greatest either." She says taking some food into her mouth.
"At least you are trying to find them. I don't even think my mom has tried. I hope you meet them again some day, even if they don't accept you back, I hope you get some closure at some point." He smiles, trying to give her hope and cheer for her. She smiles warmly at him and returns it with one of his bunny smiles.
They continued talking the rest of the evening and had a good time, sharing many things. They eventually parted later in the evening and Jungkook began walking back to the dorms. On his way he thought back on their time together and smiled. Jungkook never thought he would have so many things in common with his professor. He shook his head at the thought. He arrived back at the dorms and entered his room quickly, laying on the bed instantly, still in his day clothes. He sighed in content and felt himself relaxing. He was almost asleep when he heard a knock on his door
Confused, Jungkook sat up groaning as pain laced through his body. He walked cautiously to the door, wondering who would visit him, especially at such a late hour. He opened the door to see Jimin.
"Jimin-ssi? What are you doing here? I promise I am fine." he asks, wondering why the other one has been constantly checking up on him during the day.
"Hi. Don't lie, I can see you are still in pain. However, I am not here to talk about that. I came here because of the project. None of us like that we are forced to do this and neither do you, I am sure, but we need to pass either way. So, since I am the least coward of my friends and have in some way talked to you the most, I came down to your dorm.
Jungkook felt the corners of his lips flit up a bit to hear the strong leadership in the older man's voice.
"I see. Well, I won't let you guys do the project on your own. I'll take part in working on it as well. I'll try to get along with you all professionally too, but I expect the same from you guys. I don't like seeing low grades in my report. When can you and your cowardly friends meet?"
"Meet us at the garden just off campus tomorrow at 5. I hope you'll keep your word about your professionalism. They don't need your shit and you don't need ours. Well, that's it, have a good night, Jungkook-ssi." Jimin bows stiffly at the younger male and turns to take his leave.
Jungkook waited until he couldn't see the other before he closed the door. He heads back to his bed and gently sits down. He stripped his clothes down to his boxers and curls up in the bed. He still felt the pain, so relaxing seemed like a good idea. He laid there thinking about the project with the others. He really hopes that he can stay professional. He may be mean, but he would never slack on his studies.