A young, glowing and ever so gorgeous Jennifer Grey had just met a young and handsome man named Cyrus Brown in the spring of '99. The weather had just been getting warmer and a new wave of energy came over everyone that year.
It'd been early but she was ready to show off that summer body she'd been working on so hard during the winter. She'd always struggled with her weight and this was the first spring where she FINALLY felt confident enough to wear what she wanted.
She often sashayed around public areas knowing, anyone could care less. But this was about her. This was about her entering her IT GIRL era and gaining her confidence back.
And it worked for the most part. With the change in her physique, Jen's attitude was very much different. She felt like she could do anything and talk to anybody without having to stutter or look away.
This enabled Jen to leave the house more and pursue that one passion. That one passion she thought she could never achieve. Photography. Like actual professional photography.
So she figured she'd start out in her local parks and public areas first. But the park instantly became her favorite.
She had an eye for things that were worth being captured. Not just birds and trees but real life. People, break ups, weddings, kids running around, capturing moments in time.
"Take my picture." Someone spoke from behind her.
Turning around, Jen stood back a little. After all this new found confidence and attitude, for the first time in a while she stood modest and tense.
"And who are you?" She chuckled, putting on a front.
She did that a lot. Put on fronts.
"Cyrus. Yo new model. Come on nah. Flick my pics. You owe me."
"Owe you? Nigga we just met." She chuckled, putting her hand on her hip and rolling her neck.
"Fa the coffee I'm about to buy you." He smirked.
"Oh really? Well shouldn't you buy it first...THEN ask for a picture."
"You got me there. Hold on. I'll be right back." He bubbled, excited to have her attention.
Running into the distance, Jen rolled her eyes and smiled, expecting this to be some kind of game. She wasn't used to the male attention like that. Especially not as attractive as Cyrus.
So turning back to taking her pictures, she day dreamed about that life she so desperately wanted. Photographing models, traveling the world, living a long and beautiful life. She didn't care if she never settled down and had kids.
Months prior, doctors told her she wouldn't be able to have kids either way. All due to complications in her ovaries. So she accepted the fact because it was something she couldn't control.
She was all she needed.
"Okay!" Cyrus panted, interrupting Jen for the second time.
"A coffee. Brown, creamy and sweet." He smiled from ear to ear. "Nah take my picture."
Jen smiled back, taking the drink. "You're lucky that's the way I like it."
Making her way over to a bench, Jen placed the cup down and began to shoot Cyrus.
"Wait! I ain't even posin yet!"
"Relax. These are called candids." She chuckled. "Just keep- just keep doing what you're doin!"
Jen watched this man as he stood there. Fiddling with his fingers and still unsure what to do. But he was too fine. So it didn't matter. His face made up for it all.
But then he started posing. Doing the most goofiest and made up things ever! Jen had never met anyone like this before.
Eyes so pretty and seductive. Tall and muscular. Just a 10 from head to toe.
"These are gonna come out so good." Jen smiled.
"I know they are. Cause it's me. Duh." He boasted, trying to make Jen laugh.
She put the camera down, rolling her eyes. "Okay. That's it. I can't waste anymore film."
"You wouldn't be wastin it if you was just takin pictures a me. But aight ma. Ion wanna interrupt ya luh thang you got gone on here." He sighed.
"No it's okay." She laughed, feeling sorta bad she'd shooed him off like that.
"I ain't catch ya name though..."
"It's Jennifer."
"Aight Jenny. I'll catch you lata." He smiled, beginning to walk away.
Jen didn't believe that she would ever see this man again. The chances had been slim but...at least she could say she had fun and met yet another interesting person.
But Jen had been wrong. Because every time she went to that same exact park, Cyrus had been there. He had no business being there but he was there every time Jen had been.
Walking around and talking to strangers. And of course, greeting her every time. At this point, they'd become so familiar with each other. She'd learned so much about Cyrus just over the course of a few weeks.
He was 26 just like Jen had been. He'd been heavily into fashion and looking the flyest. The man even owned his own barber shop down the street. Drove his own car, had his own money.
And eventually she found out the reason he'd been in the park so much. He'd been a drug dealer. But not one of those hardcore ones that carried guns and all that junk. The small kind that sold chronic for a few bucks and called it a day.
So she honestly wasn't afraid of him. She'd actually been more intrigued and feared that their new friend ship might have awakened something in her.
She didn't want to believe it but Jen had been crushing on this man. Falling hard and oh so fast.
And a month and 2 weeks into this relationship, Jen had finally decided today was the day she was going to ask for his number. She'd been putting it off for so long. But her mama taught her that if she wanted something, she needed to grab it before it was too late.
And Jen had been tired of waiting. She was tired of letting opportunities pass her by. So she did her hair real nice, put on one of her best outfits and doused herself with a light and airy smelling fragrance.
Today was the day.
Making her way to the park that day, she'd been nervous. Scared of everything that could go wrong. But she pushed those bad thoughts out of her head and knew by the end of this day, her and Cyrus would be on the phone later that night.
As always, he'd been there. Doing what he did and making his rounds around the park. And he instantly spotted Jen, smiling ear to ear.
And this time she was greeted with a hug.
"You look nice." He complimented.
She'd been weak in the knees and happy he even noticed. "I- I- thank you! You- you look good too."
"Yeah but you look betta." He smirked.
Jen couldn't believe it. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she actually connected with someone. For the first time, she felt like this could be a potential relationship. For the first time she-
"IS THAT MY BIG SIS!" Someone squealed, approaching the two from behind. You could literally hear the heels clacking against the concrete and Jen could only assume it'd been her little sister Janessa.
When she turned around, she was 100% right.
On all days Janessa could've showed up, she chose today. The day Jen was finally going to try and move her and Cyrus' relationship forward.
"What are you doing here?!" She exclaimed, hugging her sister and squeezing her tight.
"Just got off work! Decided to do a little shopping. Now here I am." She cheesed.
Cyrus had been puzzled but intrigued by Janessa's eccentric behavior. How wild and fast she spoke. The way she walked, talked, and carried herself had been way different from Jen's.
"And who's this fine homie over here?" She chewed, popping her gum and chewing it back up again.
"Oh he's just my friend." Jen answered, bashfully introducing him.
"Cyrus. But...you can call me Cy." He smiled, taking her hand and shaking it. "I ain't know you hadda sista Jenny..."
"Okay Cy..." She chuckled, resting her bags down and removing her shades. "I'm Janessa but you could call me Nessa. Or whatever you want for that matter."
The way the two looked at each other made Jen want to throw up. He'd been biting his lip and Janessa had been doing the same, batting her long eyelashes. These exchanged looks, told Jen everything she needed to know at this point.
"You gotta number on you Janessa?" He questioned.
And like that, Jen's heart had shattered into a million pieces. If only she could've rewound time and spoke to this man sooner. If only there'd been a way. She just knew she was gonna cry about this one tonight.
It wasn't fair how her sister got everything she wanted because of her looks. Whereas Jen had to work for it. People thought she was just as pretty as Janessa. Maybe even prettier. But it'd just been her confidence that needed to be worked on. Her shyness sometimes got the best of her and she'd come off as something she didn't want to be perceived as.
And these thoughts ate at Jen for months. Wondering what could've been if she'd played her cards right.
She wondered these same thoughts during Janessa and Cyrus' wedding in 2001.
Wondering if she'd asked for his number sooner, would she be wearing the wedding dress instead of her sister? Would things be different?
Would she be with him instead of his socially awkward, kind of aggressive at times, older brother?
But Cyrus and Janessa had only been getting married because of their current circumstance. She'd been 2 months pregnant and everything kind of happened so fast. They were still young and had so much to learn. Being married and being a parent was something she thought her sister wasn't mentally prepared for.
Janessa was a party girl. She didn't believe in responsibilities. Just sex, money, and parties. She was in for a rude awakening if she thought she could continue that life style.
But despite how Jen felt, she'd still been happy for her little sister. Happy she'd been happy and actually settled. She'd rushed into it fast but Cyrus and Janessa seemed to love each other...very much. They seemed happy and Jen couldn't complain.
***
July, 2002
Jen had lost her job. Lost it due to one minor mistake that set back the entire company. 2002 was by the far the worst year of her life and her job was the only thing she had.
A small cubicle in marketing, typing up reports and getting em to the big guys upstairs. It wasn't much but it got the bills and rent paid. But now she couldn't even afford that.
Being evicted and thrown to the curb, she didn't feel like herself anymore. She spent more time couch hopping than pursuing photography and at this point, it seemed like it'd been nothing but a dream.
She didn't want to let anyone know she'd been struggling. Not even Elroy. Someone she'd been dating for over two years now. Knowing he'd do anything for her. Knowing that if Jen needed ANYTHING he'd drop everything and take care of her first.
But she felt like she would've been taking advantage of him. She couldn't live with that. And part of the reason was because...Jen wasn't interested in Elroy as much anymore. After the first year of dating, she realized they'd been nothing alike.
He wasn't goal driven or active. He didn't have ambitions or dreams. He didn't want to leave Rainier Beach and start something new.
It drove her mad and no matter how much motivation she tried to give him, it just didn't work. And she wanted a break up but didn't know how to break the news.
They didn't even have sex. Maybe once or twice but it only lasted a few minutes and it'd been at the very beginning of their relationship. To say the least, their relationship was weird in her opinion.
As time passed, people talked and Janessa heard through the grapevine that her sister had been in a crisis. Financially and mentally. So the first thing she did was offer to take her in.
Jen had been embarrassed and very hesitant about the offer. Janessa had just given birth to her nephew Elijah and she didn't want to be a burden.
She couldn't take her up on that offer but Janessa insisted. Since Jen had been there for every argument she's had with Cyrus, every step of the way for her pregnancy with Eli, and every moment where Janessa needed help.
She felt it was only right to take her sister in. So it was settled. Jen moved in the very next week she'd gotten the offer. She thought of things on the bright side. She could save a lot of money and find a new job until she got back on her feet.
And her sister really had been really treating her. Giving Jen her own room, eat whatever food was brought into the house, watch her cable tv, all in exchange for babysitting Elijah while she went and worked. And eventually being forced to listen to her and Cyrus' headboard being pounded against her wall.
18 hours and 7 days a week she had Eli. Usually after work, Janessa would go out for drinks with her friends and it became an everyday thing.
Jen didn't mind babysitting Elijah. She loved that little baby. But it made it hard for her to have a life of her own and finding a new job had become a little more of a task for her.
And Cyrus had been around. But in between his barber shop and drug dealing...Jen was really the only care taker for Eli. But when he did come around, they would care for him together.
More than Janessa ever did and Cyrus liked that about Jen. He liked how her motherly instincts kicked in. How she took responsibility for a child that hadn't been hers. Unlike Janessa who left him to clean up behind Elijah.
It was a lot to handle financially, physically and mentally. He didn't know how long he could keep this up but he didn't lose hope. He knew that one day this shit would become easier. But he knew for sure he DID NOT want another kid. One was enough.
He wanted to speak up against Janessa's ways. He wanted to tell her to take some time off of doing what she'd been doing everyday. But he never spoke a word? Why? He was too caught up in the sex with her.
She was good and she knew how to get what she wanted. She knew what Cyrus liked and how to please him every time. But sometimes he felt trapped. Like he'd rushed into marriage too fast. Like he'd made a mistake, planting his seed in Janessa not even a year into them dating.
Kind of wishing he could go back a few years. Just to start over. He didn't picture his early 30's this way. But he didn't complain. He loved Janessa and Eli so much and would give them the world.
But his mind still hadn't been mature yet. He was still 20 years old in his head. So being tied down to one woman wasn't something that'd fully registered for him yet. He wasn't ready to settle down.
And he realized it when Jen moved in. How she'd gotten prettier and younger looking with everyday that passed. Eyeing both sisters, thinking his twisted thoughts about having two at a time.
Fantasizing about fucking them both at once during dinner. Living out his immature fantasies in his head. But that's all they were. Fantasies. He never thought to act on them. Ever.
But Jen had been making it harder for him with everyday that passed. They never really spoke unless it was about Elijah. But then he purposely began taking full days off to hang with Jen.
At first they stayed in separate rooms. But then some days he'd spend the day in the living room with Jen while Eli was asleep. Spark up a conversation just like the old days. Talking about his dreams of becoming a movie producer. All his goals and ambitions.
And...Jen liked that. A lot because she wanted to go into a similar industry herself. That and because he'd been so different from his brother. He actually wanted to leave Washington. He actually wanted better for his self. And she could see the passion in his eyes. He was telling the truth.
It made her melt inside. Made her feel guilty for revisiting her feelings for him. She had Elroy. But...he wasn't what she wanted and her and Cyrus BOTH knew that.
Janessa started staying out later. Finishing work at her office but even later to party and have drinks with friends. Like she'd been 17 all over again.
And that's when Cyrus and Jen had been left alone home together at night. After hours when Elijah was fast asleep.
One night in particular...Elijah had been sick. Not sick enough to go to the hospital about it but sick as in he had a runny nose and a small cough. Jen had tried to put him to bed and feed him multiple times throughout the night.
But she just couldn't and she'd been so tired. She just wanted a break. And Cyrus could see that so he jumped in and helped Jen with his son.
They did everything to put him to bed. And when they succeeded, they both had been worn out but so happy.
"That was insane. Your son is a FIGHTER!" Jen chuckled, closing Elijah's bedroom and standing in the hallway.
"He get it from his mama."
"I'm sure he does." She huffed, slicking her hair back and tying it into a ponytail.
"You look tired Jenny."
"I am." She chuckled. "It's straight to bed for me after I shower. I still have your sons spit up all over my shirt."
"Yeah...you go shower." Cyrus smiled, looking Jen up and down.
Jen looked him up and down as well, feeling butterflies in her stomach.
"I couldn't have done it without you though." She smiled, holding her hand out for a high five.
"And I damn sure couldn't have done it without you. You the shit. You really my rock." He smirked, giving her the high five and holding her hand afterwards.
Jen couldn't help but blush, looking down at their hands. Feeling all good inside. But she knew she couldn't feel that way without feeling guilty. This was her sister's husband! Not hers. This man was off the market and he clearly wasn't interested, in her mind at least.
These thoughts bugged her in the shower. Thinking about how she'd felt about Cyrus just two years ago. How she never fully got over him. But that front she put on about actually being fine with the way she didn't end up with him was starting to tear down.
And as bad as it sounded, she started to long for that relationship they had before Janessa came into the picture. She couldn't help but feel he should've been hers.
But she came to her senses as soon as she wrapped her towel around her body and stepped out of the shower. That'd been selfish. She had a man. And Cyrus was married to her BLOOD sister and shared a child with her.
Maybe in another life time she thought as she exited the bathroom. And as she did, she bumped into Cyrus that'd been standing directly across the door.
It'd been an accident but it created an insane amount of tension between the two. The thought that they couldn't touch each other drove them mad. They both longed for it and it was written all over their faces.
"Come here." He mumbled, grabbing her by her forearm and pulling her close.
Jen didn't know what the fuck to do but she let everything happen. She let Cyrus kiss her on the lips. She let him touch her dripping wet body and kiss on her freshly showered skin.
Licking the side of her neck and tasting her.
Jen reciprocated the energy, blanking out and not thinking about any of the consequences that came with this. Hopping on to Cyrus, Jen wrapped her arms and legs around him.
Took him by surprise but he liked this energy she'd been giving. It wasn't like her and he'd been seeing a side of her he wished he could've seen earlier.
And Cyrus didn't just want to have sex with Jen. He wanted to make love to her. Because he really, really liked her. And he wished to himself she'd been the one he settled down with. He wished he had Elijah with her for a moment. A mature and sensible woman. Rather than Janessa. Still immature and rowdy all the time.
Taking Jen to his bed room, he carried her and laid her on the bed. This man was about to make Jen forget about Elroy, her sister, and all of her morals.
Removing her towel, Cyrus felt on her naked and soft body. Admiring how in shape and toned she'd been. Admiring how beautiful she'd been.
And from there, the two confirmed their feelings for each other by having the most passionate and loving sex any of them had ever had. They felt in tune with each other. They felt like they knew each other's bodies perfectly and their souls had been aligning. Making each other orgasm back to back. Feeling like they'd been high. Feeling like this was long overdue.
And there was not a condom in sight.
This went on for hours on end. The two couldn't stop touching each other. Even when they thought they'd been done, they weren't. They kept going, and going, and going, and going and going. But when the sun started to rise, they'd been real concerned.
They only started at 12am. It was now 7 in the morning and Janessa still wasn't home.
And after they finished, they sat in silence and cleaned up the room they tore apart. Then Jen checked to see if Elijah'd still been asleep. And he was, thank God.
Cyrus and Jen did some unspeakable shit to say the least. Shocked by their own actions but shocked at each other. Cyrus didn't know Jen got down and dirty the way she did. Behind that quiet front, bob haircut, and those brown eyes was someone from the pits of hell.
Jen didn't know Cyrus was the same way. Like an attractive man usually performed terribly in bed. Only thinking about his own pleasure and not lasting very long. But Cyrus took his time with Jen. Making it feel like her first time. Making it memorable. Treating her like a delicate flower.
He'd been a lot kinkier too. Biting, choking, hair pulling, making up positions, and so many other things Jen didn't even know existed. And odd enough, all of those things Jen liked. She liked how she just explored this side to her sexuality. She finally felt grown and experienced a little more than she had been.
"You smoke Jenny?" Cyrus asked, sparking up a blunt and walking into her bedroom.
This had been the first time they'd spoken all morning. After showers were taken and the house was cleaned top to bottom, these had been the first words Cyrus uttered to Jen.
"Time to time." She shrugged, folding up Elijah's clothes.
She'd faced the mirror, back turned towards Cyrus. But he came up from behind and wrapped his arms around her. Pressing the front of his body against the back of hers and let her take a pull from the blunt while he held it in his hands.
"You know...me n you. We could get away from this shit." He mumbled, taking the blunt out of her mouth and putting it in his.
She instantly inhaled a sharp breath and looked up into the mirror. Watching their reflection and finally sinking in the damage they'd done.
"Wh- what do you mean?" She questioned.
"I mean...I take you, me, and Elijah outta Washington and we go somewhere. Far away. Italy, France, Turkey, Sweden, the U.K. Anywhere!" He smirked.
"Cyrus...you know we can't do that."
"Why not? We ain't got shit here but-"
"You have a wife." Jen huffed, wriggling out of his grasp.
"So?"
"You love her?"
"It's complicated."
"Complicated or not...you're married and we made a really, really bad mistake." Jen huffed, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "This...this right here, this shit can NEVER happen again."
"You trippin. You think I'm lettin you go afta this? You got my soul Jennifer."
And he had hers as well but she wasn't admitting it.
"No. No. We're not doing this! See I knew that this was a mistake." She huffed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
"Jen...you're not understanding me...okay? We would be better off with each other. Pursue all that shit we was talkin! DO sum with our lives! Together. Nessa don't got the ambition you do! In ha mind she still a teenager. She act like she ain't 29!"
"Cyrus...you're not understanding me. I betrayed my sister. I fucked up. Okay? You did too and we need to stop whatever...whatever this is. Cause ima tell you one thing right now, IT AIN'T gone end well."
"I knew I shoulda asked fo yo numba that day." He huffed. "Pussied out cause I thought you'd shut a nigga like me down. But instead I asked fa Nessa's. Figuring she was an easy target."
"Well we can't go back in time Cyrus. This is what it is...and I don't think I'll ever recover. We fucked up."
"Jen...I love you."
"NO!" She cried. "NO!"
"I wanna divorce Janessa and I wanna marry you. Ion give a fuck WHO don't like that shit. You the one I want."
"Goodbye Cyrus. I never liked you. Never will. We just fucked and that was it." Jen forced herself to say knowing she didn't mean a word. Praying this would stop his persistence.
"You a lie."
"Who's lyin? Cause it ain't me." She scoffed.
"Jen...you can't be fuckin serious."
"I'm serious. We have nothing in common. You're boring. You're nothing. We're nothing. And- and-"
"That's not what you was sayin a few hours ago!" He shouted.
"Pillow talk." She smirked, raising an eyebrow.
"Pillow ta-" He scoffed. "You know what? Fuck you bitch. Maybe you right."
It hurt Cyrus to say that and the regret just piled on from there.
"FUCK. YOU. NIGGA!" Jen cried.
"FUCK YOU!" He yelled picking up a vase and throwing it in Jen's direction. It hit the wall behind her and shattered. Then Cyrus stormed off.
Cyrus couldn't handle rejection considering he'd gotten every single girl he'd ever wanted from young. But Jen's rejection both humbled and hurt him. Hurt him emotionally and hurt his big ego. For a moment he felt like he'd been pegged down a few notches which both turned him on and made him mad.
Jen moved out of her sisters house not even a week later. Going right back to couch hopping and job hunting like she'd been doing. She was filled with nothing but guilt and regret.
***
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