The entire car ride to the prison hospital was dead silent.
I'm not sure if Rossi and Emily just didn't want to talk, or if they were too scared to say something in case it would set me off. Either way, I definitely didn't feel like talking, so I was pleased with the silence. It took about fifteen minutes to get to the prison, and another fifteen to get through security and walk to the hospital wing. I've been in loads of prisons before, and with each time they seem to get more depressing.
The walls are all this muted white colour, with chips of paint flaking off at the corners. Not to mention the stains of god knows what that are left behind. Walking through the hallway of the hospital feels so eerie. For the most part it's empty, but I spotted a few odd prisoners here and there, each one looking worse than the last. The floors creak under the weight of your foot and on occasion on the way there, a drip of something would fall from the ceiling.
After what felt like eternity the four of us, Rossi, Emily and I plus a security escort, reach a door at the very end of the hallway. It's obvious to me that It's way more heavily secured than the other doors we've passed, and I think it's safe to assume it's where they keep the violent prisoners here for injuries. The guard passes his access card over the reader on the left side and the door screeches, squealing a bit as it slides open. The four of us continue down the hallway, which is just more glass rooms with guards posted at every door. Now being inside, it's clear why the door was as secure as it was.
There are only about three other inmates in here. The first one we pass is high out of her mind, bossing the poor nurses around like they are her maids or something. She has an arm cast on and has her right foot in a sling from the ceiling. My guess? She tried climbing over one of the walls outside but fell back.
The second one is currently being restrained by maybe two or three nurses plus a few security guards. She's biting and scratching as one of the nurses is trying to sedate her. If I'm being honest I don't really want to know what's wrong with her, so I follow the group and move on.
The last one in this room is knocked out cold. From drugs or being in a fight I couldn't say, but it was obvious someone laid into her a few times. Her head is wrapped in a white bandage that's slightly red is in colour near the back. Her face almost looks like a balloon with the way it's puffed up. Her arms are bruised and I can assume the rest of her body is as well. Out of the three inmates we saw, I place my bets on this girl being the one Ivy fought with.
I didn't get much of a chance to further analyze before the guard opened a final door at the end of the room, which was detached from the room with the three other inmates. We pass through the last door and it shuts almost immediately behind us. To the right is a single room with a single bed, separated from the hallway we're in by a glass wall, probably bulletproof for our safety. In the bed is a woman with long blonde hair, matted in a few places, about average heigh, maybe a bit taller. Her eyes caught mine as I analyzed her condition, and she gave me a weak smile. It was definitely Ivy.
Security opened one last door into the room and ushered us through, closing it behind us and taking his post outside, I assume to give us a small bit of privacy. Me, Rossi and Emily make our way to the bed, Dave and Emily taking the left side and me taking the right.
As we take out places in either side a soft chuckle comes from Ivy, "I didn't think you guys were going to come."
Her hands are in her lap, intertwined, and her gaze is rested on them, not daring to look us in the face.
Emily cleared her throat, "The warden gave me a call." She stated, trying to make eye contact with her, "She said you were the one who started it."
At that, Ivy looked up from her lap and looked at Emily, "I did."
"Why?" Rossi chimed in, "All you did was dig a deeper hole for yourself to fall into."
"I didn't have a choice." She reasons, looking at all of us, "You weren't there."
"No, we weren't" Emily responded, "So how about you explain it to us instead?"
"Fine." Ivy answers, shifting a bit in her bed, "I forgot to leave my notebook in my cell and it has some things in there I don't want the other girls to see. I dropped it and that girl picked it up, taunted me with it and said some things that she should have kept to herself."
"What was in the notebook that she found?" Emily asked, trying her best to sound sympathetic.
"A picture." She responded, turning her eyes to me, "The one you gave me when you came in to see me."
I shift my weight, "The one of me and Finn?"
She nods.
"What did she say?" Rossi asked, "Obviously something worth being hospitalized over?"
Ivy swallowed and looked at Rossi, "She told me how pretty she thought he was and how now she knows who to go to after being restricted for so long."
"You beat her up for finding Reid attractive?" Emily asked, "No offence, but I was expecting something a little worse for the condition you left her in."
She scoffed, clearly still angry over what the woman said, "Not Spencer, Emily. She wasn't talking about Spencer."
It took a few seconds, but the three of us finally realized what she was implying.
Rossi stepped forward, "You're telling us that she was gushing over your son?" He sounded disgusted.
"How do you know she meant it that way?" Emily questioned, trying to rationalize the situation.
"When they brought me here," Ivy started, "I asked one of the nurses what the other girl was in for."
"And what's that?" I ask, dreading the answer.
She clenched her jaw, "Take a wild guess."
None of us asked for anymore details. We could all understand what she meant.
"Regardless of it was deserved, because it definitely was," Emily stated, "your violent behaviour got your date moved closer."
Ivy nodded, "I know. I heard the nurses talking."
"Do you not care at all?" I blurt out, sounding a bit more harsh than I intended.
She turns to me, "What?"
"You say that as if it's just another piece of gossip. Ivy you went from having four months to two weeks at most." I exclaim, leaning on the bed, "You look like you couldn't care less, and I just don't understand how."
"You think I don't care?" She pushed, her face clearly showing her frustration, "I just found out I won't get to see my son before I die. I heard the nurses talking about that too, how the next time I'll see someone from the outside is when I'm in the execution chamber."
Emily placed a hand on Ivy's shoulder, "I can make some calls, I'm sure I can arrange something-"
"What's the point!" Ivy snaps, "What good will it do Finn to see his mother in a hospital bed with bruises all over her and a black eye? It will scare him. Regardless how much I want to see him, the sight of me would just make him worried and stress before he never sees me again." Her eyes are glassy, and her voice becomes exasperated, "Spencer doesn't want me seeing him anyway."
I respond immediately, "I never said that-"
"Oh, please. If I was going to see him you would have besought him in already. I understand he's not my son anymore but I wanted to at least see him before I die, and now I'll never get the opportunity."
I sigh, looking between Rossi and Emily, "Could you give us a minute?"
Rossi nods, "Sure, kid."
The two of them give Ivy one last glance before walking to the door, knocking to alarm the guard to open the door. They follow him down the hall and out of the hallway. Now it's just the two of us.
What the hell am I supposed to say?
"Spencer."
I look in her eyes and see her smile softly, "You don't have to explain yourself."
I shake my head, "Yes I do. I promise, Ivy, I didn't take so long to hurt you." I take a deep breath before continuing, "I just couldn't being myself to see you again."
"I get it." She assures me, placing her hand in mine, "I hurt you. So bad. It's not fair of me to ask you to sacrifice your comfort just to appease me."
I take a seat on the bed, my body facing towards her, "That's not at all why I didn't want to see you."
She furrows her brows, "I don't understand? You've been livid with me since I was arrested, I thought you hated me?"
"I tried to." I admit, keeping your eyes locked, "I tried so hard to hate you, to move on and forget all about you, about how I feel about you."
Her eyes dart between mine, "What-"
"I am so in love with you Ivy. It's the last thing I ever wanted to admit to myself but I can't keep pretending as though you mean nothing to me. I love your smile and your warmth. How you always look out for other people before your self, and how you constantly strive after what you want."
"Spencer-"
"The reason I didn't want to see you is because I knew if I saw you again, it would confirm the feelings I've been trying to bury for months. I just didn't want to admit to myself I could be in love with you after everything that you've done."
Ivy didn't respond to me, but instead grabbed by shoulders and threw her arms around me, squeezing me as if this is the last time she'll see me. Which it is. I wrap my arms around her and try not to be too harsh, as I don't want to hurt her. I can hear her sniffling in my shoulder, which only breaks my heart even more.
"Spencer?"
"Yes?"
"Promise me you'll be there."
I pull away, looking her in the eyes, "Be there for what?"
Ivy wipes the tear falling from her eye, "In the gallery. When my time comes."
I pull away a little, shaking my head, "Ivy, no. I can't."
"Please. I want yours to be the last face I see."
I can't think of a way to turn her down. I can't watch her die. I refuse. It would break me. Even still, I nod at her request and bring her in for another hug. What else can I do? She needs comfort and that's what I'll bring her up until the day comes, because on that day, The only comfort and warmth I'll have will be for me, and my son.
_______________________________
Two weeks went by like hours.
I haven't seen Spencer since he came with Emily and Dave. I'm not worried though, I'll see him today. The last face I'll ever see. I almost think it's poetic, but that would put my situation in a positive light. It most definitely is not.
Nala woke me up for the last time today. She kept a smile on for me, but I could tell she was holding back tears. So was I if I'm being honest. I always imagined my last day on earth on a beach somewhere, maybe back home in Russia. Instead, I'm spending my last hour sitting in my emptied cell, holding the only thing that's keeping me together.
My family. The gallery is pretty dark, so I want to make sure I get a clear mental picture of Spencer before I go. I didn't realize until now, but this is the last time I'll see my son, until his own time comes and he joins me wherever we go. He smiling just like Spencer, and though I know there is so biological resemblance, they definitely look like a father and son.
I smile to myself before Nala knocks on my cell, getting my attention.
"It's time, Ivy."
I can feel my smile fade. I kiss my boys before standing and meeting Nala at the door. I reach out to give her the picture, but she waves her hand.
"Keep it." She insists, "That way your boys will be with you until the end."
I nod and slip the picture into my pocket. She grabs my arm and begins escorting me to the chamber. We walk in complete silence. I don't think there is anything for her to say to me. I know she thinks what I did was justified, and I know she thinks my life should be spared. Unfortunately for me those decisions aren't up to her. Still, I appreciate her having my back.
The hallway seems to span on forever, the door at the end of it not seeming to be getting any closer. If only the weeks before this went so slow. After a long while of walking, we reach the end of the hallway, and Nala opens the gate. On the other side are two other security guards, and a door maybe twenty feet away.
Before I'm handed off, I turn to Nala and smile, "Thank you. For everything."
She nods, wiping her nose with her sleeve, "I want you to know I have your back. I'll never forget you or what you've done for all those people."
"I know." I smile and she hands me off to the guards on the other side, "Goodbye, Nala."
I give her one last look before being led to the last door I'll ever walk through. I wish it was more flattering, but I guess four inch thick metal will have to do. The door opens and I'm ushered through, and I can finally see where I'm going to die. It's fucking depressing. The whole room is grey and the bed itself is solid metal, no padding or anything. If this is where I'm going to die they could've at least added a pillow or something.
I'm led to the metal slab they want to call a bed and I sit on it, reluctantly laying down and resting my head on more flat metal. I've slept on worse but I still didn't expect it to be this uncomfortable. The guards start strapping me down and locking me in place, a bit too aggressively I might add, but maybe I'm thinking too much into it.
Once I'm secure, most of the guards leave, except one who stays stationed at the entrance. The doctor begins prepping the needles, and that when I start to panic. I'm petrified of needles, and I'm more scared of the needle than the actual, you know, dying part of this whole thing. I guess in the grand scheme of things, the needle is nothing compared to what's going to come after.
The doctor gives the man by the curtains the nod of approval, and he opens them, revealing the gallery of witnesses here to watch me die. I guess they had nothing better to do with their day. I start scanning the crowd for Spencer, carefully looking at each face before moving on to the next. The man asks me if I have any last words but I'm desperate to find Spencer in the group. I don't answer. He doesn't wait too long before motioning for the doctor to go ahead.
I feel the dreaded prick of a needle in my right arm, the fluid rushing through my arm up and down. Even as my vision fades I'm still desperately trying to find Spencer in the crowd, before I realize. As my eyes finally start to roll back, and my consciousness slips from my hands, there's only one thing I can think about as my final thought.
Spencer didn't come.
He left me to die alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello again;)
don't hate me, it was inevitable
there is still loads to the story so don't think it ends here.
This is the last chapter!! There is an epilogue so there is still more coming;)
Happy Sunday my loves<3
~Kiera