Rushing to the door after getting out of Nate's car with my fist formed into a fist, I couldn't think of anything else but the question running inside my head: why did they do it? I had the answer, but it was not that good enough.
With a lot of force, the door creaked when I opened it. I found auntie and uncle sitting on our sofa with confusion on their faces. The same expression from mom and dad while Eros froze on the staircase. From behind me, I felt Nate getting in.
"Why?" was the only word I could afford to say. While they watched my teardrops fall, they looked at each other as if they didn't know what I was talking about.
"What do you mean by why?" I rolled my eyes at mom's question. As if she doesn't know. I've never been this mad before, but feeling like I've been betrayed by everyone that I trusted the most, makes my heart fall apart into small pieces.
"I told her," Nate sighs and looks down.
Auntie Edna and uncle Jesse slowly stood up and walked closer to me gently. But I managed to back away. "Don't come closer to me," then I bumped into Nate which made me stop. The warmth of his body makes me want to hug him like a pillow. But I can't. Because it seems like he ran out of cotton.
Uncle Jesse sighed as he slowly looked at me. I could see the pain in his eyes but I tried to ignore him. "All these times, you hid that I was your daughter?" I didn't even want to talk about it but I couldn't stop myself anymore from asking. I craved answers to the questions longing in my head. Because I thought they could make me feel okay. But turns out, they made me feel worst.
"Brit, please... it's not like that, you don't... you don't understand," he gently says and walks closer to me.
I wanted to move back further but instead, I landed on Nate's warm body again. I couldn't move, I didn't know how to because I was broken and broke. Same thing but different.
I wanted to run but I wanted to know the whole story.
I wanted to hide away but I didn't want to get off Nate.
I wanted to leave but I didn't want to leave them behind.
My head and my heart couldn't get along with each other again. They would never align.
"Don't understand what? That you guys gave me to someone else so you can't feel all the hardships of being a mom and a dad? What kind of parents are you?" I was stepping out of the boundary, I was... being rude to my biological and real parents. But I couldn't care less. I wanted to stop being that rude to them but I couldn't. Because as far as I can remember, I am the one who needs explanation and needs to be understood.
"Please... let us explain,"
"Explain what? After you gave me away you want me to understand you? That is not fair! You should have just killed me in the first place. Because right now, I already feel like I'm dead," when I looked at auntie Edna's eyes, I could feel how hard her heart was panting and I could see how much she wanted to walk towards me but couldn't afford it.
I was being rude with my words, I knew it, but I still kept on choosing to be one. "Brit, you don't know everything yet!" Eros demanded. It made me look at him.
Controlling myself no more once that I was able to sense what was going on. "Wow! So you know something about this and never told me?" He slowly closed his mouth and began staring at the ground.
I looked back at them: my parents perhaps.
"Britney, those were the times that we were irresponsible to be parents. You were an accidental baby. You were unplanned. We didn't plan of making you thus we didn't even know how my wife got pregnant, so we got shocked because we were so unprepared and at those times, we were poorer than a pig. Our money was just enough to raise Nate so we chose him," before he can continue, his emotion already gotten over him causing tears to his eyes.
I slowly began to understand everything but on the other hand, I was still hurt.
"So instead you gave me away instead of trying your best to raise me? I thought you were a good dad," each second, I could hear Nate sighing behind me and it makes me cry more. We were already complicated now we're hopeless.
"We trusted Cole a lot and thought that he could raise you right like how he raised Eros, so I and your mom decided to give you to him and be a part of the Dean family. And we don't regret it. Because we were right, you became a good person with a good heart. We agreed to take you back when we become financially stable and now that we are, we're back to take you, we're back to take care of you which we should have done before." We were all crying in the room but auntie Edna was the one who was crying the hardest.
"We. Thought. Of. Giving. You. Away. Because... because we wanted you to have a good life, now that we have a good life we want you to experience it with us... because we are your real family Macey,"
Macey, so that's my real name? And they even changed it.
"Bandages can't cure wounds," was all I could say when pain scattered around my body and froze all my nerves, cells, and heart. I was frozen.
I rushed to my room with tears falling with every step I took. I wiped my face continuously with my arm but it wasn't enough to dry it. I bumped Eros but I didn't even bother of saying sorry to him or looking back at them, all I wanted was peace when I can be able to digest and process every single painful information I got today. I want to scream and let everything I feel out. I want to sleep and never wake up again.
Because good things only happen in our dreams. The bad ones happen in real life.
Author's Note:
"Bandages can't cure wounds"
Ouch.
Take note that Britney's real name is Macey! Yes, they changed it in her birth certificate huhuhu.
So sad. The next chapter is already the Epilogue so stay tuned!!! OMG, it's about to end...